Me: can I take your picture?

Alfredo Potato: only if you want to die

Brock Rumlow is a Swiftie. I said what I said. Do you think he’s shut up about The Tortured Poet’s Department? Absolutely fucking not. But it’s saved Jack from his delulu that Reputation (Taylor’s Version) was going to drop next. (Now he’s convinced Rep and debut are gonna drop together.)

Milo is the king; you must never leave him. And you must always get him a surprise at the store 🥰

Alfredo is so entitled he snoops through my bag when I get back from the store and gets pissed off when there’s nothing for him 😭

and you know Jack gets all blushy about it but is absolutely down lol

You might not need a man but Brock does. He ain’t mounting a tv.

I gen thought u were making a joke about how the guy alfredo (pasta sauce) was entitled and that he'd expect u to buy him sauce before I saw the tag cat

Lmaoooo nah, just Alfredo Potato the cat. He has all the audacity a cat can have.

[in the locker room before a mission]

Brock: has anyone seen my top?

Jack: I’m right here baby

Brock, outwardly: 😡

Brock, internally: 🥰

Brock: you look like the type I usually go for

Jack: 😏

Brock: no, that’s an insult

Jack: 😔

I be so sleepy during the day but once night falls I feel like I can walk across the country

I don’t know why but I’m convinced Jack would own a coydog (coyote/dog hybrid) and Brock would have an Chow Chow that meet in a dog park and somehow become best friends and Brock is skeptical bc wild animal but Jack wins him over. 🥰

You might not need a man but Brock does. He ain’t mounting a tv.

[texting]

Jack: heyyy, will you go on a date with me?

Brock: sure 🙂

Jack: really???

Brock: look between the H and the L on your keyboard

Jack: bro why you gotta be so mean for ??😭😭

Alfredo is so entitled he snoops through my bag when I get back from the store and gets pissed off when there’s nothing for him 😭

Underneath all of Brock’s rage is a sweet little baby princess I stg 😭

Clint: rock paper scissors but if we do the same move we gotta kiss

Phil: excuse me, agent?

Clint: you in?

Phil:

Phil: yes

Brock and Jack don’t argue. Jack tells Brock to shut up and Brock says “yes daddy”.

Can just going on and on about your favs doing aesthetic shit just be a genre bc Brock getting up on Christmas Eve and pulling on Jack’s oversized hoodie that hand mid-thigh with too long sleeves and then he goes into the kitchen that sleek and white and clean, to use his beautiful espresso machine that costs way too much before going to sit in the window seat and look over the backyard scene, watching the sun rise and then Jack wakes up and comes down wearing drawstring pants and nothing else who just wraps his arms around Brock from behind and rests his chin on his shoulder, watching the sunrise with him. BECAUSE I WANT TO READ IT — 😭