verbalmind
OutLook
By you getting to know me, Im getting to know you
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Wanting to look at your Instagram is really a bitch.
It’s not like I never saw ur face before.
It’s not like I don’t know you.
I feel like my head is still on “what if” when my body is like mmm... who else can I stalk lmaooo.
You’re doing nothing for me... but making me temporary horny.
I knowwwww if I deal with u that way again ima feel gross about myself.
Yuck.
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Ooo this summer I’m gonna be on my fucking shit!!!
Hair flowing in the wind
The sun beaming on my skin
Yesss I can feel lit all ready
I’m ready for this shit to go down.. okay!
*nods head*
Yes I’m so fucking ready
*closes eyes and a tear leaves the eye*
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Yooo u went “off”
What would I be doing at 12 am.
Over there? Reading a book 😂😂
Okay sir.
See ya in like 4 months
Like fr...
I need to heal 😂
Mmm ok
But you can get it where u can get it cool bud.
Ha sound like my mama.
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You match with me... then u text me...
I say... I’m judging hitting you up because you’re gonna do it when it gets warmer so let’s just skip that..
You honestly don’t want anything.
You just want to see how much you can take. No scratch that how much I’ll willingly give ya.
If I was desperate. And believe me sometimes I think I am lol.. I would soooo give in. Hop and a skip but damn u make that hard.
You do too much and just ruin it 🙃
So now ur just in my phone chilling.
Why have I come a long ass way 👏🏾👏🏾
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“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”
— Nayyirah Waheed
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they cant touch ya spirit so they try to assassinate ya character.
shot by @drdrummerd (instagram)
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My stomach is in knots.
I want to rely just because tbh.
But damn it makes me nervous
I’m literally preparing myself for the worst. For shit to go down.
For me to roll my eyes and delete again.
Good gosh.
That mixed in with cramps ain’t a good feeling.
And I think I have period poops 😹
Omg someone help me.
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My day seems to be better than yesterday.
I feel like I was going down hill.
I felt like I had no pick me up ya know. Like this is it.
But I spoke to my therapist and things can turn around. It’ll take time man.
Time as in as the days go by it’ll hurt a little less.
But man where I’m sitting... time/hurting a little less seems like forever
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I feel like disappearing. I feel like self sabotaging and not doing anything. I mean what’s the point MAN!!! It seems to me that my work gets me no where! It seems to me they don’t think I’m enough!!! It seems to me that all of this was for no reason!!!!
God I’m not quitting. I’m just pissed to the highest degree!
I put my all into it ya know.
I told a lot of people
This is what I want and it’s not even coming toward me
Got a reading that said I need a work life balance! What work and life. God Where is the balance that’s needed.
I work at a job that’s just a momentary job but goodness I feel like I’m going to be there forever and ever.
Like I’m going to be 82 years old when I finally leave.
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Eyes Now Open
You text my phone with that bs.
SO what do I do... I respond...
WHY because you're not going to disrespect me... PERIOD..
ON top of that you're not going to do that shit out of nowhere!!!
OK
OK MFER
You have me mad as shhhhhh...
I want to curse you the hell out!!!!
But I'm not because that’s what you want...
You want my attention....
IMA let you talk to yourself...
I’m not bout to entertain you...
I tried opening myself up to you and what do you do?
Keep hurting my feelings...
I go back hoping you’ve changed and I see that you haven’t...
Why keep opening myself up just to get hurt... I don't understand....
I sick of giving myself to people who don't care about my feelings...
Let me heal... and find someone that does care...
Is going to treat me the way I need to be treated.
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#sex education#blogger#writer#relationships#relationship#women#womxn#myths#sexmyths#sex#peer pressure#womxnsexuality#womensexuality#sexuality
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Been there done that! Would def do it again.
Get drunk and tell me how you really feel
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Rebound.
Feeling like what you did to me, you couldn’t do it to her.
Not being able to contact her… you called my phone 5 times hoping I’ll answer.
And then every time I answered that put the stamp on when she didn’t answer I was sure to pick up the phone.
You did this cycle to me so many times you probably forgot how it even started.
I ended the cycle because I didn’t understand it. You came back to me… you found a way to get in contact with me… and nothing changed.
Me: Why stay in something when you're not giving me what I want.
Me: I tried so many times… I tried to stay in it… I tried.. I gave you so many times to fix what was wrong…
I found my voice and when I did… you made me feel like I was wrong.. You gaslighted me… you made me feel crazy and complete shit…
I’ve always wanted answers but your lips were sealed… I was talking to a wall on issues that mattered to me
After a while, your compliments, your lip bits, your laugh, and your smile just felt fake, felt like manipulation because it was…
I had my wrongs too…
I was quiet, I was wrapped in an emotional ball…
I knew what I wanted... I knew what I thought I wanted and when I would even slip some of it out…
I was left with silence, I’m wildn, or who is this talking to me…
We would get in heated arguments and all I would do is block, block because I didn’t want that type of anger in my life
It's been in my life before and nothing good has come out of it…
My dad would have that type of anger and it would lead to nothing but destruction and with the anger we brought out of each other it was leading to happen to us.
I’ve always felt like you never saw me. You saw me I could become. You saw the me , that was probably her.
When I saw you I saw the you. The you I had in the beginning. As we continued to talk I didn’t recognize who I was talking to. It was as if I was trying to play chess in the chance of winning to win who I wanted back.
Come to the realization that you who are now, is who I’m going to get because it’s you. Or it's you when you're with me.
I have to accept what it is… which is nothing.
Which is nothing more than memories, good and bad.
Nothing more than moments, what-ifs, that are slowly disappearing, and me wanting to reach out to you.
Reaching out to someone that is no longer there.
The goodbyes have happened. And they will continue to happen until your nothing more than a memory. Until you're nothing more than something I think in passing. Until I don’t think of you at all.
Yup. Damn.
#annoyed#rebound#good and bad#memories#breakup#startover#tryingtomoveon#anger#emotional rollercoaster#emotionalball#whatifs
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This is me. I am this.
I come to find that I am the most vulnerable with myself and no one else. This wall I have up is not as crumbled as I thought it was.
Everyone thinks I have all the answers but the truth is I’m just as lost. You expect me to know... so I take the “answer” out of my ass in hopes it comforts you.
But when I need it where are you? Why do the words you use not comfort me?
But who am I to myself?
A girl that’s lost and wants to be found
“I am a different person to different people. Annoying to one. Talented to another. Quiet to a few. Unknown to a lot. But who am I, to me?”
— dream-jackson
(via immer-und-immerwieder)
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‼️‼️New Blog Post‼️‼️ Since I could remember the gender, girl, has always had a big question mark on it. Is my interest in girls normal? When I see a girl that catches my eye, the only thing I could do at that moment is watched HER until she disappears from my view… is that normal? Do other girls my age do that? Has that ever happened to you? READ MORE @ thewordsofsay (dot) wordpress (dot) com #verbalmind #ilikegirlswholikegirls #blogger #stateyourtruth #embraceyourself #loveyourself https://www.instagram.com/p/BwpXTU1gyyG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1k7gf1g41pbu4
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Sometimes I just sit and think on how I can become a better person... Reflect on my day... Allow thoughts to flow in my mind... Or I sit there and read a book I’ve been waiting to read all day #bookreader #sittingdown #reflection #blogger #verbalmind https://www.instagram.com/p/BvvDqCUgRzA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1r8fkwiis7ewb
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‼️‼️New Article Post ‼️‼️ Living in the United States women of color- especially-are pushed to look at Europeans as the standard for beauty.💅🏽 Women of color 👩🏿👩🏾👩🏽 who are in the spotlight not wearing their natural hair has a huge impact on societies view of what beauty is. Want to Read More LINK N BIO 💙 https://www.instagram.com/p/BuZlru7gccq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8lqczmoye0hx
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