unchronology
Academy of Unchronology
Happily fussing over the mechanics of time travel since 1594.A blog of history, gaming, time travel theory, and perhaps occasional music.
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Doylist addendum: Star Wars was originally created according to fairytale tropes and structures, so wouldn't and shouldn't get caught up on logical snares. Luke wouldn't know the winner of a race from the Olde Dayes because it's not important. He has a princess to rescue.
Watsonian addendum 1: Skywalker may not be that uncommon a name on Tatooine. I vaguely remember some old EU book from years ago where a minor character from Tatooine had a similarly batshit daft surname and it was implied that Tatooine people are just Like That. Luke doesn't bat an eye on seeing another Fred Smith written down.
Watsonian addendum 2: A lot of people lost a lot of money on the Boonta Eve Classic that year. Most people put their money on Sebulba (including Anakin's owner). They might not be altogether keen to have it remembered.
Watsonian addendum 3: Is Luke actually that much into podracing?
It’s so crazy that Luke Skywalker thought his dad was just some freighter pilot and yet also claimed to be a podracing fan how did he not think to look at the records and see his dad was the only human to ever win the Boonta Eve Classic the legend who defeated the great Sebulba #FakeFan
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Christian god: makes the face of Jesus appear on toast
Xiuhtēcuhtli, Lord of Volcanoes: hold my beer
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Peaceful Sunday afternoon with Flynn. He herded me over here & demanded we stop... who am I to argue? I flopped down on the lovely soft spring grass & was delighted Flynn chose to flop down right beside me, so we could soak up the sunshine & listen to the birds together. It still makes me incredibly happy to see Flynn happy, confident & relaxed about making physical contact like this, after he spent so many years being fearful. Love this pup!
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Hello depression. How have you been?
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From bottom up:
Colon and Nobby would be the first in the history of the Ring to genuinely lose it along the way, not through any malice on the Ring's part, but due to genuine incompetance. They'd make it as far as Mordor (through dumb luck) before Fred noticed the Ring was missing (Nobby noticed back in Ithilien but said nothing). They'd retrace their steps, entirely fail to find it, then slink off back home and hope that Vimes and Carrot don't notice.
The Feegles would listen carefully to all the warnings, gain a thorough understanding of the dangers of the Ring... then use it anyway. Deliberately. Don't threaten them with a good time.
Moist, Cheery, Maurice and the Rats would all succumb to the power of the Ring. Sorry.
The Librarian would be a poor choice as he would understand full well the danger of the Ring and why he would be tempted by it... but at the very least he could be relied upon to get it out of the University before anyone else found out about it. Because if it was left anywhere near the faculty the ink on the "DO NOT TOUCH" would still be wet while the world ended.
Granny and Nanny would be the worst choice, sorry. You might think that as Granny has the most experience in turning away from power she'd be ideal, but no. Granny is the closest expy on the Disc to Gandalf, and as such would understand implicitly why she should not have the ring. Don't get me wrong, she'd still get the quest done, but the same way as Gandalf - she'd find someone else to do the actual lifting while she busy-bodied away in the background.
Carrot and Angua is a similar situation. Carrot's kind of an Aragorn figure, so would definitely be tempted by the ring, and Angua is closest to Legolas. They'd struggle on mightily, but would eventually end up giving into the Ring's power. Probably somewhere around Gorgoroth.
Dorfl is an interesting case. He'd probably start off better than anyone else on the list, since he's not technically alive and therefore cannot be tempted by the power of the Ring. Except as a Discworld character, he's subject to the Belief=Reality concept, and would start to believe that he's as alive as any other Ringbearer. Suddenly he'd start hearing the whispers of the Ring in his Chem, and would eventually put the Ring on. That, or he'd eventually be mobbed by orcs with sledgehammers. He's hardly stealthy.
Vimes though? Vimes is very, very fallible, and knows it. On paper, he's a terrible choice... and knows it. But who on the list has a better history of overcoming addiction than Sam Vimes? Alcohol, the Gonne, even the Summoning Dark... he knows how to fight back against the little voice that says "do it". Vimes would agonise over the Ring every step of the way, and it would be that agonising that would eventually mean he could resist it...
...nearly. Because Sam Vimes, out of everyone there, would need a Sam Gamgee the most. Someone to keep his head on straight and give him the motivation to continue. Sybil? Young Sam? Someone like that at least. But yeah, in the end I can see Vimes getting the Ring into the volcano, probably missing a finger in the process.
Finally, Rincewind would be my choice for an alternative solution. That bit in Bree where the Ring 'accidentally' slips onto Frodo's finger? That would happen to Rincewind all the time. Like, every third page or so. At least once it would get stuck on his finger (no effect, incidentally) and he'd have to get it off using butter and cooking oil. Eventually he'd get so exasperated he'd throw the Ring into the Luggage and go off and get drunk and forget about the whole thing.
The Luggage would then be corrupted by the power of the One Ring. No-one would notice any difference.
Death would be waiting at the edge of the volcano, wondering how a piece of jewellery got a lifetimer in the first place.
Explanations welcome! No "other" option, sorry.
#discworld#rincewind#the luggage#vimes#sam vimes#captain carrot#angua von uberwald#granny weatherwax#nanny ogg#moist von lipwig#nac mac feegle#fred colon#nobby nobbs
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Shout-out to my grandad who didn't die on that hill because he dug his trench nice and deep while he was attacking fascists.
I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say
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Behind the Music 🎤 (This was a short video born after Joan brought it to my attention lol)
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youtube
Remember, remember the 27th of April...
#happy high forks night to everyone who celebrates#maid marian and her merry men#high forks night#history#history lesson#Youtube
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57... submitted and then realised that whole I managed to include Erkenbrand, Ghan-Buri-Ghan and even fuckin' Lindir... I somehow had forgotten Gollum.
Bonus internet points will be awarded to anyone who actually tries this exercise before voting.
Assume you need to get the spelling at least somewhat close, and if a character has multiple names, only one counts. Also, if a character doesn't have a canonical name, I'm sorry, but "that guy's wife" doesn't count.
For reference, if you can name the 9 members of the Fellowship, the eponymous Hobbit and his 13 dwarf buddies, 3 prominent women, and the guy who runs the Rivendell B&B, that's 27 characters right there. And you probably also know the name of a dragon.
For further reference, Tolkien Gateway has 637 (!!) pages dedicated to Third Age characters. (Don't click that link until you've voted, of course)
Edit: Your humble pollmaker gave this a try, and got as far as 73 before deciding she was too tired to keep trying to remember dwarf and Silm names. If you also want to share (and don't mind people being incredulous at your having forgot ____), pastebin allows you to paste text and share it for free. :)
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