touchmyfracturedstardew
An Omen's Stardew Valley Hijinks
Logan / 18 / Year 2 of Modded Stardew Valley playthrough
28 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
princesadaisy
ee-i-o, disco to go!
buckie-and-steeb
Welcome To Stucky Land
hellenruthe
火•RUTH
olabooksco
olabooks
faeriefaun
sugar in my teeth, demons in my dreams
Text
the stardew valley farmer is such a little weirdo and i love that for them
they run up to a townsperson, absolutely filthy from the mines, hand them a beautiful gemstone, and then immediately turn around and crawl into the sewers with a jar of upsettingly viscous black goo in-hand. tomorrow they will spend 20,000g at pierre's.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
I wish it was possible to run for mayor in stardew valley. Like clearly Lewis isn't doing a good job and if I can fix this abandoned farm then surely I can fix Pelican Town's crumbling infrastructure.
328 notes
·
View notes
Text
Emily: Welcome to salsa class! Who's ready to dance?!
Farmer, holding four bags of corn chips:
Farmer: I think there's been a misunderstanding
639 notes
·
View notes
Text
Shane: You know what the difference between jelly and jam is?
Farmer (who just got the preserves jar) : Jelly is made from strained fruit juice, whereas jam is made from mashed fruits. Oh! And preserves have large pieces of fruit in them!
Shane: ...
Shane: I can't jelly my dick into you.
772 notes
·
View notes
Text
Stardew Valley Vodka Woes
I currently only have 2 written goals for myself in stardew valley but we are only going to be talking about one of them
How to make vodka.
Logistically, when we look at base game stardew, one would think;
Keg
+
Potato
= Vodka?
Wrong!
Keg + potato = POTATO JUICE!
NOT VODKA!
What am I supposed to do with potato juice? Sell it to Pierre? The bastard would probably like it as well.
How the fuck am I supposed to get vodka?!
And don't get me started on the fucking cream cheese dilemma.
#sdv#sdv expanded#shitposting#farm woes#sdv woes#stardew valley#sdv farmer#modded sdv#shitpost#sdv mods#stardew valley gameplay#vent blog#vodka continues to elude me#i just want to make flavoured liqueur#vodka#liqueur#fuck pierre
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
OMG you guys.
So tonight my husband and I decided to have Quality Time together by both playing Stardew Valley while sitting next to each other: me on my laptop and him on the xbox.
Which means, for the first time, I saw what the inside of his chests look like in SDV.
GUYS. GUYS.
HE KEEPS EVERYTHING. And I don’t mean ONE of everything. I mean he has a chest of EGGS. With all the eggs his animals produce. Organized neatly. HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of eggs. Just SITTING THERE. IN THE CHEST.
HUNDREDS OF WOOL. HUNDREDS OF MILKS. CHESTS AND CHESTS of every FISH he’s caught. Chests of vegetables he’s grown.
Me: You…Don’t Sell Them????
Him: Not often.
Me: But…But…that’s…the…POINT?
Well, I guess that’s why you have no money…
What…exactly…is your plan?
Him: IDK.
Me: This…this is just…Hoarding Simulator.
So please…enjoy that I Found a New Type of Guy. A Guy who Doesn’t Sell Anything in Stardew Valley.
Also Me: So..are you a prepper? Are you prepping for the virtual apocalypse? Like ‘these 300 void eggs are going to see me through Armageddon?’
740 notes
·
View notes
Text
some amazing responses from this reddit thread
and my absolute favorite...
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hat mouse is the definition of girl boss. Like they’re an entrepreneur. Like fuck Pierre and joja. They don’t know what it’s actually like to be a small business like Hat mouse does. Like Pierre can say he’s a small business but he gets more customers than joja. Hat mouse only has US!! They rely on us to buy their hats. And I’ll gladly spend all my gold on hats.
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
i made a mod for stardew valley (its on nexus)
edit: it’s no longer on nexus, it has been removed because a bunch of people reported it for hate speech :/ new download link here
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
Therapy isn’t enough I need Pierre to cry when he sees my grange display at the fair
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
vincent and jas: go to the beach without sam
willy:
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
me whenever i see a vegetable: oh my god that's from stardew valley
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Shaking and crying because I’ll never be able to eat the soup from the Stardew Valley potluck
9K notes
·
View notes
