slept well last night, did some fun exploring, cleaned and cooked and all the windows are open! gonna tidy up while i listen to my history podcasts and then i get to try my new conditioner bar
"I carve wooden animals in Aichi Prefecture, Japan. Because I try not to make the same thing twice, every animal make is unique. Just as every person is different, every animal I make is also different."
ugh i dont wannnnna go to class tomorrow and give my dumb little lecture. but also i know that's bc im nervous and i need to exposure therapy that out of me before i start teaching for real so i guess i am happy to be going to class and giving a lecture tomorrow. in a way.
paleolithic man sending multiple unsolicited "fertility sculptures" through rudimentary trade networks to a woman who moved several weeks' walk down the river to get away from him
“Responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and naming for you; it means learning to respect and use your own brains and instincts; hence, grappling with hard work. It means that you do not treat your body as a commodity with which to purchase superficial intimacy or economic security; for our bodies to be treated as objects, our minds are in mortal danger. It means insisting that those to whom you give your friendship and love are able to respect your mind. It means being able to say, with Charlotte Brönte’s Jane Eyre: “I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all the extraneous delights should be withheld or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.””
— Adrienne Rich, “Claiming an Education” (1977), On Lies, Secrets, and Silence (via sadladypoetssociety)
Maybe I went to Ipo to become one of your unresolved cases. Put my photos on your wall, stay awake all night, and think solely of me.
Decision to Leave (2022) dir. Park Chan Wook
I actually have a very similar break up story to you— first relationship, very close to 2 years, i initiated it and then doubted myself— and I would just say to trust whatever made you initiate the convo and give yourself time to adjust. it’s a big change, and def talk with your support systems to help get yourself to a more comfortable place with it. it will be okay!
bf and i broke up. even tho i kind of initiated the conversation i feel so bad and guilty and like what if i made the wrong choice. i know i need to give it time though like it just happened like 4 hours ago. it was amicable so i put a calendar that says i can text him after 3 months (like in general, just to see how he is). in the meantime i am reaching out to therapists. i can't imagine getting back together tho because how could he ever trust me again lol. and like he shouldn't i am clearly a flighty bitch and that's why it's over. but damn it was less than a month to two years and my first ever relationship so this is gonna take some healing. im very sad.