theoldsouls
here we are again
He/him, 21+. I answer questions about my past lives. Feel free to kindly talk to me if you want to know why - if not, move on. "May we meet again, say, in another time."
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I bit of a random/ out of topic question...but are there any time periods that interest you besides the 18th century? For me it's the cold war, about you? what time period in history draws you in?
Oh, that's a good question - I think almost any has the potential to pull me in, but some that have been obsessively on my mind lately are;
Medieval period in the Middle East
Bronze Age Collapse in the Mediterranean
Early Christian history (to about 400-500 CE)
The Cold War is definitely interesting too, though!
Thank you for your ask.
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I have many questions; first, how can you be sure about your past lives? I'm not asking in a I-don't-believe-you way, I ask because I've read, study and analize compilations of people claiming to be some person in a past life, but there's always this incognite about how far can human brain takes us, if there's really a soul that connects us to places along all the history or if it's all just a extremely complex tool of our brain. Doesn't that scare you? The knowledge that all you can believe at the end of the day could be your brain dealing with something?
In other hand, what kind of point of view has given this to you about fate and destiny? Most of times we associed the existence of past life and soul to a destiny or fate, in the books I've read about the subject, the individuals said that they knew the same people, sharing similar relationships, going through similar events, and in general, going in a ciclical experience; but, for the things you say, I don't think it's your case. In fact, for the things you say I don't think there's something as a ciclical experience nor a similarity, it looks like two different lifes and two different people, except that one is carrying the memories of both. In my opinion I think that's beautiful, there's something ugly to think there's not freedom and we all are going in the same patterns forever, but correct me if I'm wrong.
To finish I just would like to know what kind of misconceptions you can refute about your past life, I'm not interested in history, I'm just a little of a gossiper. (If you're confortable with it, I'd like to know how you feel about the fanart/fanfic about your past life, but if you don't like talking about that, ignore it. In fact, ignore anything of this message if you don't like it.)
Have a good day.
These are incredible questions with even more complex answers. Thank you for sending these my way.
At the end of the day of course we'll never know how much of the things we remember are real. After all, even with memories of events relatively close to us now there's a danger of coloring things in that weren't there and erasing things that were, and you and another person you shared this event with might have completely different memories of this - which might even contradict each other. It's a complicated part of our brain that we haven't really figured out yet. And just as much religious epiphanies and spirituality, these past life memories very well could be some messed up way my brain has tried to cope with trauma or something unrelated. At the end of the day you'll never know for sure, and as you said, that can be a very scary thought to grapple with.
However.
There are some reasons why I believe it might be not made up, and they're the reason why I feel relatively comfortable stating who I was with just as much confidence I have when stating who I am now.
I am not American. I did not step foot in the US until I was 19 years old. The education system I was in did not touch upon American history - besides briefly touching upon the Boston tea party, and diving in a bit with the Cold War. I heard of George Washington for the first time through Fairy Odd Parents on TV, and all that taught me was that he had wooden teeth (which is factually false). This means that I could not have heard, seen, or learned anything of the American Revolution and its early founding unless I myself consciously researched that area of history - which, for a long time, I didn't.
I did have memories, though.
Memories I at first did not understand nor had a name for. I remembered the clothes I wore, the faces of the people I was with. I could remember writing - which stood out to me, as I normally couldn't write or read in dreams at all - I could remember the drills and could reenact them with ease. I remembered how to load and fire a gun. I remember the feeling of my kids tugging at my breeches to go up, up! I remember events that - well, were less pleasant as well, being sick for example - the kind of sick you don't notice until your eyes roll back and you collapse, waking in your bed with blood crusted on your cheeks (face) and leeches on your arms. I remember my mother singing to me, our house near the sea, I remember her dying. I remember my brother carrying me after but the funeral is a blur. I remember my wife, angry, silent as she got, just sitting there and looking at me and me frantically talking and talking and talking and she just sat there. I remembered her name, Betsy, i remembered our first Dutch bed in the wall, and the guilt i felt as i looked at her livid. I remember my own death.
I remember more but I don't want to get lost and lose track of your question. I know these are memories, and not my imagination or dreams, for a few reasons.
First, they are repetitive. If I dream of them, or they come to me during the day, the details don't seem to change. The dialogue is the same. The people don't change, etc.
Second, though not good at recognizing or recalling faces in dreams or my imagination, theirs are crystal clear to me. And again, they don't change - only with age.
Third, I feel phantom pains from particular memories. My way of walking changes when thinking a lot on the war (it's more of a march then a walk). I sit different, i talk different.
Fourth, the languages and other skills. Thought not speaking neither French nor English, both kind of "fell" into my head with relative ease. I remembered doing the studying - I sometimes forget if I read or learned a thing here or then as I recall it well, i could converse with a professor of economics at a university with comfort (he gifted me books to read, impressed by my knowledge) even though I had not finished my degree nor had I specialized in the political economics we were discussing. I had not studied these things now, and yet I knew them still. I played the piano in a different past life, and now was able to pick it up without a teacher, quickly.
These things solidified the belief that I had a past life for me, even before I could put a name to the person I was. Since then I've met others whose memories directly coincide with mine (sometimes with minor differences, as is the pitfall of memories) and who literally recognized me by looks and mannerisms alone, but I won't touch too much on this reason right now as this is maybe not applicable to other people struggling with this and I don't want to give off the impression that external validation is necessary.
As to your second question in regards to fate and destiny - I do actually believe that people we meet and situations we end up in echo past lives and will repeat ad infinitum, until we learn whatever we are meant to from that situation. I go on a bit more in detail on that in this post.
For example, I started university at the same time I did then (same age). I dropped out (due to external circumstances) after the same amount of time had passed. I met an ex at the same time I had previously, we dated for a similar amount of time and broke up due to similar circumstances, I married my current spouse at the same age - and I intend to return to law very soon and apply for a clerk's position in the court near me this year. I have the exact same facial features, hair texture, body, length, cadence of speaking, mannerisms, tastes in food and drink, tastes in music, reading, gardening - even though I grew up in a different culture and do not have the same ethnicity as I used to.
These are but a few examples of how things echo very strongly - and I have no idea if they are simply coincidences, or things and people I was meant to meet, meant to experience. After all, experiences in life shape you. Friends that you meet, parents that raise you, even people who dislike you, make an insurmountable impact upon you as a person. You might carry yourself the same way a father figure did, or hold your loved ones the same way your mother did. As the 'lessons' you learn, with the people you're surrounded with, stay the same in life after life, perhaps that is why we are so similar every time? I have no idea. I'm not a philosopher - I just live and remember.
Some 'lessons' I did not learn last time I have been able to rectify - and with others, I made the exact same mistakes all over again. I guess this is why people end up with thousands of lives lived. After all, if anything, we are stubborn creatures.
So I guess I do view destiny and fate as something tangible. I believe that free will appears in how you react to the things that happen to you, rather than what happens to you. For example, I think I was meant to end up on the path of law regardless of what I did or didn't do in the past few years. But choosing to pick it up, and go into social justice law - that's free will. That's prioritizing things I could not and did not want to, before.
And thirdly, your question on any misconceptions - there are many. Of course there will always be generous and studious scholars who dig deep and find these, I will touch upon a few closest to my heart that seem, to the general public, factual and real even though they are not. As an entire life is long, and this post is already enormous, I shall keep it short and inexhaustive.
I loved my father. I never hated him, and he did not disappear from my life forever. We wrote to each other. I wrote to relatives in Scotland. I loved him. I do not blame him. I don't know if he was my biological father, nor do I care much to know who was.
I never had the hots for my sister-in-law.
I wasn't a 'womanizer,' nor a 'slut.' I enjoyed the company of women, I enjoyed flirting banter. Calling someone who danced on both sides of the fence a 'slut' is a whole can of worms I cannot and will not touch on, but it's bordering on homophobic. I adored my wife; anything that went on in my marriage concerning infidelity concerns only me and her and that's all I will say about that. Plenty has already been said (including by myself).
I hung out with more gay men than some suggest, and was more 'out' (to use modern terms) as a 'molly' (to use older terms) than is now perhaps known or acknowledged. It was not out of the ordinary for jokes about my inclination to both the male and fair sex to fly across the dinner table, which is why, unfortunately, it so often made it to the papers. In modern history this however seems to be deemed 'speculative,' and is dismissed. Queer people have always enjoyed to meet up with like-minded fellows, the age you live in be damned.
I am not entirely sure what date I was born. Birthdays are hard to remember and were largely unimportant then; we celebrated our children's birthdays sure, but when I was a young adult it hardly mattered and multiple people frequently forgot or ignored their birthdays with little to no remark. It was probably the 11th of January, before the crack of dawn. Maybe the 10th if you count nighttime as belonging to the day before. Who knows. Not me.
Last but not least, you were curious to my opinion on fanart/fanfic. I think it's very natural - at least, I soothe myself in this sometimes - that anyone who remembered as much as I did would be curious to see what others wrote and devour it all. Some of it I want to bleach from my brain, some of it is sweet but has nothing to do with me as a person (fanart of the musical, for example, is to me fanart of the cast of 'Hamilton', not me nor my contemporaries), and some of it is heartwarming and will forever be cherished by me. Some of it makes me laugh and others sting a little (deservedly or undeservedly so). I guess I'm glad I went from obscure and nearly forgotten to famous internationally - though I could've done without the toxic elements of the fandom or the 'thirsting on main' for me (and people self-inserting their kinks onto me as a vessel I suppose!). In the end, people are allowed to draw or write what they will and it's not really up to me to judge. If something someone said hurt my feelings or makes me uncomfortable, it's not like I can say 'hey Alex here, thanks for honoring me but no thank you' haha!
I hope this post is not too long - thank you again for taking the time out of your day to sent this to me and I hope I was able to do justice to the things you were curious about. Adieu.
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In your pinned post you said you lived multiple lives. Does it overwhelm you? Have you ever met anyone from one of your past lives?
P.S.- I hope I don't sound like I'm interrogating you
You're all good, I like your questions a lot. (Don't worry, the other, longer ask will get posted asap. It's probably going to be very long though so I thought to post this one first.)
Yes, I lived multiple lives. It doesn't overwhelm me anymore so to speak, as most of the time I feel 'closest' to Hamilton, and remember by far the most of that life. This creates some kind of 'structure' to hold on to, and that I purposefully cultivate, as flitting between memories and names and identities can - yeah, be overwhelming. (And confusing. Gender is weird). There is a lot of overlap between lives though. I'll elaborate more on that in the following post (as it touches upon the cyclical nature of lives within reincarnation in general) but briefly, it means that people I meet, and lessons I learn, repeat until - well, the journey I'm meant to go on and things I'm meant to unlearn/learn are done with. So people I've hurt/have hurt me, I have met them several times, until I hopefully one day get my head out of my ass and not mess up again. People I've loved, I've loved several times. My wife for example was my husband in one life, my wife in another, my lover in another - list goes on.
I've met multiple people from one or more of my past lives before. Both my ex, and current partner (wife) are examples of this, but also friends, acquaintances, coworkers, college friends, etcetera. Not as big of a list as this might suggest, but also not as small as I had feared when I was younger. Little fun walk down memory lane, the first person I 'met' this time around (on a reincarnation forum almost a decade ago) wasn't someone I'd met then - but it was still the first person to have also been remembering things from the same time period. This was Joseph Warren, and we exchanged quite a few letters. It was a lifeline of hope (that I wasn't crazy) that eventually led to me making a blog on Tumblr a few years back - meeting my wife - and me now being here. Unfortunately, Warren hasn't replied in a long time to me (they were already very old at the time, in their 80s) and I don't think I'll ever be able to thank them for their help and support.
I hope this answers your question!
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What is it like to have memories of a past life? ( Sorry if I sound rude; I'm genuinely curious.)
Thank you for your ask, it's not rude at all!
Honestly, it differs day-to-day, but most of the time it just feels like 'normal' memories with a nostalgia factor that you can't satisfy. It's like you've gone to college and left your childhood home, only this time you can never go back - like your childhood home has sunk under the waves, pulling all your friends and family with it, never to resurface again (with some miraculous exceptions). Not only that, no one around you sees this tragedy or knows of it, and you carry it with you constantly, seeing faces and hearing fleeting melodies or smelling old smells and this pang of hurt in your chest because it's just that - a fleeting thing, no longer tangibly real. It's like visiting your and your wife's grave and standing rooted to the spot, unable to cry because - well, that would be silly wouldn't it - staring at all the coins and flowers left on the grave from people you can never thank.
Because I've remembered things from a very young age (2004, I was nearly 8) it's hard for me to disentangle the two me's - me then, me now. Did I pursue law and economics as a study because I am now currently interested in that? Or because I, then, had a career in these things? Do I like singing and practicing the piano because it's something intrinsic to my character, or because I miss playing on it with my children? Did I start writing when I was 8 and not stop because I always had wanted to write - or because I remembered doing it and missed it then?
It's also something to philosophize about I suppose. Do I do similar things sometimes, because we just are creatures of habit? For example, I married when I was 25. Now, and then. Is that just a coincidence? I'm frequently promoted ahead of more experienced/older coworkers and no one bats an eye. Is my work ethic, despite very differing circumstances and backgrounds, still the same?
Remembering does many good things, don't get me wrong. It's given me so much wisdom in many things, more than my actual years would've gotten me, and it's kept me from going down similar rabbit holes because now I remember what it used to have done to me. (For example, I will not be going into politics.) On the other hand, it gives me much grief, as I don't think many other of my 12-yo classmates were trying to grapple remembering losing their child while doing geography quizzes, too.
I don't know if this was the answer you were looking for, or if you wanted specific memories and what it is like carrying those with me. I apologise for getting all philosophical. I cannot pull apart the spirituality and weirdness of reincarnation from the tangible impact it's had on my life and person, and how it occupies my mind a lot in what is me, what is me repeating things unconsciously, and what is just intrinsic on my soul.
I guess my short answer to your question is that it confuses me to have past memories, it blurs memories and habits and hobbies from now and then - for if who we are is made up of memories, am I two people or one? - and it, ngl, leads to many a night of insomnia.
I hope you have a good day or night, wherever you are.
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Do you ever just miss someone you used to know so viscerally that you'd pay your weight in gold to talk to them again?
Mine are Neddie and my father. By God would I do a lot to talk to either of them.
#been thinking of the ebb tide - the book by Robert Louis Stevenson#and it makes me miss my father so much it takes my breath away#the wretchedness of his life fills me with regret and guilt and love for him#any one talking of him instead makes jokes of abandonment and whatnot but. I love him.#and Ned - I can't even talk of it. I had a way of meeting him again#and we lost sight of each other#I miss him. I miss having a brother#I wish I could write him a letter. A long one. Hundreds of pages long#I kept the bookmark you made and your drawings and the letters we exchanged I kept it all#agh#pls ignore this pathetic musings into the void im having a sad night i suppose#the statesman#alexander hamilton
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I want to put 20 year old Hamilton and 40 year old Hamilton in a locked room and watch them tear each other apart
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yaaaassss i cant believe you're back after 200 slutty slutty years you bastard!! gay icon
Ah yes,
The bisexual man who was in love with 2 people and slept with 3 during his entire lifetime is a slut. Hilarious.
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Happy Birthday Alexander~
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Hey, it's Tallmadge. How have you been?
Tallmadge! Well that's a name I haven't heard in a while. I'm doing okay, very busy with work and trying not to work myself into a stupor. (Work in Healthcare this time and as you can imagine there's quite a lot to do in that department rn.)
How are you doing? How have you been holding up?
#the statesman#asks#I watched that show Turn a year ago#wonder how you like it - I know it wasn't the most accurate and my own portrayal made me cringe#Benjamin Tallmadge
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Up thinking again about how funny it was that the most big history blogs could come up with as criticism of my old posts and memories the 1700s online, that;
1) It was too true to historic record (g-d imagine I was correct about what I was saying, adding details that couldn't be disproven by written record. They also neglected to pass over posts where I refuted common legends and misconceptions.)
2) I currently am neither a politician nor a soldier. Why in all that is holy would I ever do that to myself again? I do not endorse the military in any capacity, and politics is a vipers nest that has killed me before (not just once, but multiple times, as far as I can remember, in three different lifetimes. All three financial ministers. Once I got beheaded, once I died of overwork and organ failure from stress, and once I got shot. None of those lives actually helped things in the long run. Wouldn't touch politics with a ten foot pole for a million dollars.)
G-d imagine someone learning from their past mistake and choosing happiness over personal duty. I have always valued love, books, and family. This time I can actually prioritize it. And if that somehow disproves that I used to be Hamilton; so be it. I'll just keep on laughing.
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Hey, I read your post! I had a famous past life too. It was a very complicated one (wrong choices, etc...), and you can imagine what people have said about it. Not nice things, obviously. So, long story short, I just want to thank you for your post. It made my day! It's not easy to talk about.
It's almost easier to talk and confess obscure lives than famous ones, absolutely. If you ever need a friend to talk to or want to talk about your own experiences here, anonymously, feel free. This blog isn't solely for that one life of mine, hence the title of it, I want to have some space here online where it can just be talked of, reincarnation, without judgment.
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'Ts good to hear from ya again! Hope you're doing well!
I am, thank you so much! I'm in a much better place than I've been most my life, and I'm actually excited about the future. It's a weird feeling but I'm counting my blessings. ❤️
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How's John doing?
I don't know. I assume he's doing well, the last time we communicated he told me he was. We're not talking really, as we're not together and live in different countries.
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I'm just putting this out there, whether whoever reads this and believes me or not. I have lived several lives; and tragically for me one has been noticed by posterity and bastardized and twisted into something phantastical and otherworldly and corrupt that I cannot even search my own name without cringing.
My name is Hamilton, in that life. Having once been honest about that online left to a string of bad events - as people felt entitled to a part of me because they thought they knew me - and I let them, desperate to find old family and friends. I let this need blind me to a lot of things.
I'm not here for that purpose anymore. Do not seek me out for want of a father figure, a lover, or anything more than someone you'd like to get to know. I'm still a normal person. Whatever people know of me might not be true. How can you claim to know or love or hate a person if you've never talked to them? No, I'm here to have a safe space to talk of my memories, to debunk some things, to just talk this into existence and let it be. I'm not here for drama. I'm not interested. But trying to move on and be silent as I'm dunked on as the punchline of a joke is something I can no longer watch and idly sit by.
My inbox is open to all those who are curious and respectful. Do not say things to me that you wouldn't say to a stranger. Thank you.
#a WHOPPING 3 followers will see this but that's fine.#reincarnation#Alexander Hamilton#the statesman#amrev#Hamilton
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hi!! i know you probably don’t check tumblr much but i just wanted to send a happy birthday message!!! i’m glad you’re back on the site and i hope you’re doing good
Thank you so much!!! You are very kind ♥️
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Will I regret this? Probably.
I said once I wouldn't make another account yet here I am - it's been a long time since I deleted mine and basically threw the password away, and it might be an incredible big mistake or a big flop considering all the stuff that's happened, but I miss having a blog on my past lives! And I'd love to talk to someone people that I really missed after getting rid of this blog!
So - happy holidays everyone. Let's see how this goes, shall we?
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