I’m currently fasting. Only 33 hours in so far but wanting to continue for another 5 days, potentially more if I don’t go stay with my mother next weekend. The staff here tried to give me ensure this morning but I refused. I’m determined to lose weight and technically it’s good for me as I’m obese. My seven year old part believes we need to punish ourselves to stay safe and that is done through not eating and purging, and in the past self-injury. I feel so disgusted in myself. I just want to shrink into oblivion.