thecardiganunderthebed
Forever, the sweetest con
i legit just spew nonsense help me. โ๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ ๐ฎ๐ญ๐ญ๐๐ซ, ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฌ.โ- ๐๐ฌ๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ข๐ฅ๐๐Gryffindor (griffinclaw) โง๏ฝฅ๏พ*
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After Neil's death Todd frequently goes to sit at the dock and reads his poetry out loud for Neil
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YOU DON'T MATTER GIVE UP/YOU MATTER DON'T GIVE UP
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YOU DON'T MATTER GIVE UP/YOU MATTER DON'T GIVE UP
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THE CONCLUDING STATEMENT WAS FOUL FUCK U
Excuse me but Neil Perry what are you thinking here huh?
Is your mind playing a sequence of you holding your twinky roomates head and giving him a kiss that makes you two breathless?
You want to hold him forever huh?
You want to marry him?
Is that what you're thinking about? The stone on your wedding ring? How his hand will feel intertwining your fingers? That's all you want huh?
THEN WHY DON'T YOU DO IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE? YOU BETTER CONFESS YOUR LOVE FOR THIS BOY OR I'M EMBEDDING A BULLET IN YOUR HEAD.
Wait..
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i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii
โWeep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates menโs behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!โย
โAmplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.โย
โWe two dear men, friends forever, were here. If you want to know our names, they are Gaius and Aulus.โ
โFloronius, privileged soldier of the 7th legion, was here. The women did not know of his presence. Only six women came to know, too few for such a stallion.โ
โOn April 19th, I made bread.โ
โ I have buggered men.โ
โIf anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my girlfriend.โ
โIt took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times.โ
โChie, I hope your hemorrhoids rub together so much that they hurt worse than when they every have before!โ
โEpaphra is not good at ball games.โ
โTwo friends were here. ย While they were, they had bad service in every way from a guy named Epaphroditus. ย They threw him out and spent 105 and half sestertii most agreeably on whores.โ
โSecundus likes to screw boys.โ
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becoming an adult cheat sheet!
learn to coupon
what to do when you canโt afford therapy
cleaning your bathroom
what to do when you canโt pay your bills
stress management
quick fix meals
find out if youโre paying too much for your cell phone bill
resume workshop
organize your closet
how to take care of yourself when youโre sick
what you should bring to a doctorโs appointment
whatโs a mortgage?
how to pick a health insurance plan
hotlines list
your first gynecology appointment
what to do if the cops pull you over
things to have in your car in case of emergency
my moving out masterpost
how to make friends as an adult (video)
how to do taxes (video)
recommended reads for surviving adulthood (video)
change a flat tire (video)
how to do laundry (video)
opening a bank account (video)
laundry cheat sheet
recipes masterpost
tricks to help you sleep more
what the fuck should you make for dinner?
where should you go for drinks?
alcohol: know your limits
easy makeup tips
find seat maps for your flight
self-defense tips
prevent hangovers
workout masterpost
how to write a check
career builder
browse careers
birth control information
financial management software & app (free)
my mental health masterpost
my college applications masterpost
how to jumpstart a car
sex ed masterpost
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wrote a dissertation on this painting of catherine of siena so i got it tattooed
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A young man comes to the confessional: "Forgive me father, I have sinned. I was with a woman of dubious morals."ย
The pastor asks, "Is that you, Jimmy?"
"Yes, it is I, father."
"And who was this woman you talk about?"
"I can't tell you that, father. I wouldn't want to sully her name."
"I'll find out sooner or later, so it doesn't matter if you tell me now. Was it that girl Kathy Miller?"
"I mustn't say."
"It was Mary Smith, wasn't it?"
"I am not telling."
"Sally Rogers?"
"I will be silent as a grave."
"How about Betty Teller, then?"
"Father, do not ask, I won't betray her."
"Then it must have been Peggy Jones?"
"Please, father, I vowed to remain silent."
The priest sighs reluctantly. "You truly are determined, Jimmy. I almost have to admire you. But you have sinned and you have to do penance for it. You are not allowed to show your face in this church for three weeks! Now go in peace."
Jimmy returns to his bench where his best friend greets him. "Well, how was it?"
"Great!"
"What did you get?"
"Three weeks of vacation and five good tips."
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I will use your intestines as room decoration
List of unusual and concerning threats
(Feel free to reblog and add to the list)
I will rearrange your bones in alphabetical order
I will scoop out your kneecaps with an ice cream scoop
I will end your lineage / Your bloodline ends with you
I will make your skin vanish
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Everyone's comfort character are either mass murderers, mentally unstable or just straight up dead or all of these. there is no inbetween
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Reblog to put one of these in your mutualsโ pocket when theyโre not looking
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i love gifs that donโt loop. they had a story to tell and now theyโre done
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my gender is like that and you can do that for you
ok?!??!?!
Type "my gender is" on your phone and let your phone finish the sentence, then tag your moots to keep the chain going, I'll go first.
My gender is a little bit more intense than I thought I could have done
@mirukosbitchywife @get-junpeid
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