the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats - Tumblr blog

the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 3 hours

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I’m going to give you ideas for creative projects beyond your skill level

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 20 hours

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Curse of constant 60% maximum on all your exams no matter how hard you study. Just well enough that you think maybe you can pass if you try a little harder, just bad enough that you don’t.

#an original threat i promise #couldn't be me lmao

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 2 days

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i will ensure that every embarrassing post you make is somehow relevant to supernatural or homestuck and you will never stop receiving notes on it

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 2 days

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I will make your posts accidentally resonate with discourse in a community you’ve never heard of, destroying the notes

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 3 days

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You will NEVER experience the benefits of being a marine biologist ONLY the excel spreadsheets and the grant writing!!!

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 4 days

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I’m sentencing you to only consume 60s and 70s weight watchers recipes

#an original threat i promise #satan himself would be less cruel

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 6 days

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I will unwash your car

#an original threat i promise #you've got quite a lot of threats today i see

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 6 days

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I’m going to de-aww your tism

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 6 days

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I will alter your brain chemistry to make you down bad for Nemesis (RE)

#an original threat i promise #i don't know who that is but this sounds threatening

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 6 days

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I will make you allergic to salt

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 9 days

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I'm going to make you forget that your teacher sets weird deadlines so you think your homework is due at midnight but really it's due at 10:30 and you don't realize until 10:27

I’m going to make you forget that your teacher sets weird deadlines so you think your homework is due at midnight but really it’s due at 10:30 and you don’t realize until 10:27

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 11 days

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since i just realized that i have free reign here, imma post summat

DINOSAURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY TO LIVE ON A WORLD THAT WAS ONCE HOME TO DINOSAURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :3

#not a threat

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 11 days

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I'm going to hit you with the beam that makes you really want fruit gummies (there are no fruit gummies available to you)

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 11 days

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I'm going to send you lame hater anons about how you're 'ruining your blog theme'

#an original threat i promise #wait i just realized that i have free reign over what i post here #get ready for... uh... band rpf and murderous elves and dinosaurs ig????

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 12 days

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fuck it, I'm GOING to spam post about the fictional men I want and YES, this IS a threat. >:)

#oh shit

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 12 days

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I’m going to make you realize a really important deadline passed by and you forgot about it

#an original threat i promise

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the-faux-list-of-ominous-threats · 13 days

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I’m going to make you accidentally hit someone’s car twice in one month

#an original threat i promise

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