You don't want to be responsible for guiding and supporting women through abusive situations? Fine, you aren't responsible for anyone but yourself. Now stop giving unsolicited advice to abuse victims.

Scandal In The Spotlight Nagito & Iori Routes Review

So I decided I'm going to start going through my games and romance the ones I want then come back later and do the ones I don't much care for. So this game was super fun but only 2 of them even interested me. I am however glad I did both routes and I plan to do the others later but I swear the other few there all seem like assholes these are the only 2 that stood out. Anyways Nagito is my favorite he is an amazing man in the end you will see too. He makes this game alone worth buying if you haven't already. There is spoilers ahead jus so you know.

Nagito Aoshima

He honestly is kind hearted sweet with a naughty side. He likes to flirt but if he gets turned down he turns it right into a ray of sunshine like it was a joke all along. Its not hard to see how you could fall in love with a man like this. Not only does he make you smile but he makes your heart plain happy to be with him. This guy is a one of a kind I mean seriously he can be flirty but he is adopted and he goes out of his way to make clothes for orphan children, talks about one day having a big family and a fluffy dog and having a wife that loves and understands him like no other. I mean my heart melted at how sweet this guy is like not one negativity about him and he has this infectious happiness that makes you grateful to have even met him but not in a bad way but in a humbling way.

When he knows someone is in love with him like he finds out in the story he becomes more confident he wants to be near you. What I love is even when the words come out that your character is in love with him he admits he has feelings but isn't over the top I'm in love with you kind of thing he tells you he wants you to be his girlfriend but he wants to take day by day falling in love with you slowly because he can see being with you forever. Like most of these otomes its like oooh I'm in love with you and me too which feels good but this guy feels like someone you would want to be with in real life the kind of guy that is upfront but you can still tell he is falling every day a little more in love with you.

He also makes clothes outside of sings and he goes into mentioning he will make a wedding dress one day for the woman he sees he could marry and spend the rest of his life with just like his brother in law did for his sister he made her dress. Then later he tells you that he wants to make you a dress for the wedding line he is doing so at that point its not hard to not get giddy this man sees wedding bells in the future. I don't know its so hard not to get caught up in this story and in Nagi he is my sweetie when it comes to love interests in this game and many others. He is that special one that holds a dear place in my heart and he also has a slight jealousy letting everyone know your his and no one can make a move on you. Just Ahhh Nagi is amazing! I will say without spoiling every part of his main story but there is some ups and downs and secrets that have to come out but in the end on the romantic end at least you will not be let down by it.

Iori Enjo

Not gonna lie he caught my attention right away so damn attractive. Anyways its even kind of cute that he can't see well so he needs glasses. This man falls under Tsundere easily he spends most the time in the beginning talking to you like your nothing and are stupid.

However when you meet someone from his past you find out about him and how women have done him wrong even his first love who became his dads mistress. I mean how can you trust after something like that.

However you see little by little his walls slowly crumble and he shows a softer side to him that makes me all warm and fuzzy all over. The way he realizes he is in love with you is just so sweet he is called the prince and really is that the way he is there to protect you in cases as well as to protect your heart.

For a man who hated women in the beginning warms up to the idea of having a woman to spend his life with. He likes a woman who is upfront and doesn't beat around the bush about what she thinks and wants. I did both his main story with both dramatic ending and romantic ending and both are so sweet and he really is a sweetheart in the end.

Hi! First, i love your writing🥺 Now to the point. How about felix, sylvain and dimitri pinning after the female reader? We are basically yeeting ingrid and placing a fem reader instead😂 Like, they are childhood friends and the three of them have had a lovestruck for her since they were kids? And now they just end up fighting for her love or smth? Either hdcns or an scenario is fine! You can pick whichever you wish! However if you dont want to write this req please dont feel forced to! Love u🥺

Thank you so much!! 🖤 And yes, you got it! Bye Ingrid LMAO 😎😎 I write pre timeskip wayyy better so I’m gonna just say that reader is 18 (i don’t write NSFW or anything but age is still a thing lol) so that they’re in between the ages of Dimi + Felix & Sylvain and it works out, hope you don’t mind! I love you too anon 🥺

- Dimi is probably the first one to catch feels when they’re kids! Felix does too but he’s kinda just like wtf is this??? until someone teases him about it. Sylvain is quite ✨special✨ with romance but I think he’d be inclined to trust you a lot more because you’ve known him since you were teeny tiny before you even knew wtf a crest was! So he probably also catches feels when you’re kids but then he goes through his whole girl phase SIGH

- None of them realize their predicament until they all see you again at the officer’s academy together. I wouldn’t say they’re super obvious about it, but they’re teenagers (well Syl isn’t but shhhhh) who all like the same person so they’re going to pick up on each other’s crushes while reader remains ignorant. It’s not an issue that needs to be addressed immediately, but they’re all watching each other cautiously.

- Syl would have a massive head start on flirting with you, but he’s faced with the big issue that you don’t believe he’s being genuine and brush him off. Felix is constantly challenging you to duels to get close to you and also have alone time with you, although the other 2 will occasionally ruin his plans and insist on joining. Ah man bby Dimitri would probably come across as a little overbearing because he’s very protective of you and is constantly offering to do things for you. He’s just a mother hen that’s whipped for you and doesn’t know any other way to express it!

- When it comes to the 4 of you sitting together at lunch or in class, Sylvain is the worst. He’s very aware that his competition is far less bold than him, and so he’s making sure he’s always closest to you. Will squish as close to you as humanly possible HE WOULD DEADASS PUT YOU IN HIS LAP IF HE COULD 😭 If he puts a hand on your thigh or an arm around you it’s a wholeass declaration of war.

- Felix will likely become much more protective which may cause a lot of yelling at you for being careless or weak, but really he’s just so worried! To ease his mind, he’ll help you correct your mistakes himself (which has the added bonus of getting really close to you and occasionally lowkey holding hands when he adjusts your grip). Around other people, especially Dimitri and Sylvain he’ll be evidently sweeter to you to get the message across. A blended mix of jealousy and concern will make him very protective of you around the other two. Dimitri is not getting within 5 feet of you while guard dog Felix is around.

- In the Blue Lions the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife everyone is thoroughly confused but frankly just sick of it lol. Felix glaring at Dimitri? That’s totally normal but Dimitri is doing it back AND Sylvain is added to the weird stare off- wtf happened?? Byleth would have to talk to them after class and be like guys what in the goddess’s name happened 😭 They’ll all give a vague answer that doesn’t give away that it’s about you and each one of them has a jab at the others to shift the blame..please find your chill lads !

- At this point everything gets a little bit needier because they’ve all had this pent up yearning but have been blocked by the others. (If you’re ok with it) Sylvain will just randomly peck you on the cheek or your forehead when he sees you and you’re just like LOL ok ✨typical Sylvain✨ But when you sit next to him at lunch or in class he’s started very tenderly holding your hand under the table and you’re like huh ok that’s a little odd. If Dimitri is on the other side of you he will carefully take your other hand in retaliation. Felix will probably give in and do the same but he’ll snatch your hand a lot more aggressively and look away from you with a scowl and a blush.

- Dimi and Felix are both touch starved AF and would very much appreciate cuddles or any physical contact. If you’ve reacted positively to everything thus far, Dimitri will slowly start to bite the bullet and initiate affection because he wants it so bad. Any time you touch Dimitri, he gets sappy and lovey af and will express his adoration in hopes that you’ll keep giving him affection. Felix would never upfront ask for affection but he just kinda sits really close to you and glares at you with a little pout and you will have to realize that this is Felix language for ‘it is a crime that you aren’t cuddling me rn’.

- Obviously Sylvain gets lots of physical contact with women but I don’t ever see it as holding affection yknow?? Like yeah he spends a night or two with chicks after them crest babies™️ (i cannot take myself seriously this sentence is so funny-), but I don’t really think that they’ve done actual cuddling or casual displays of affection like petting someone’s hair because they likely don’t care too much for Sylvain and will just do the bare minimum. So in a way, Sylvain is also starved of affectionate touches and he would very much appreciate the little things that no one else has done for him. It’s new and scary for him to actually seek romantic attention, but he’s still pretty bold, just not very tactful when it comes to you lol. If you’re sitting by yourself on a bench he will not hesitate to sprawl himself out on top of you with his head in your lap and stare up at you with an innocent grin. Is also lowkey not embarrassed to whine or pester you?? His reputation is pretty hopeless at this point so what does he have to lose by sitting behind you in class and poking you while dramatically whining about you not paying attention to him?

- Attention is a huge deal to Sylvain. It’s one of the main things he’s looking for when he randomly flirts with people at the monastery. He can’t handle being ignored and that leads him to often seek many girls at once so that he always has attention when one is busy. But when it comes to you he finds himself in deep shit because once he’s gotten a little bit from you, everyone else seems minuscule and with others he only receives a mere fraction of the satisfaction he gets from being with you. So he’s gradually allotting more and more time to you until he hardly talks to any other girl. But Sylvain is used to being the one that everyone wants more of, so when he finds himself in the shoes of the smitten women that piss him off, he’s plagued by the worry that you’ll think he’s overly needy. So he comes to seek validation from you too. If he can just get you to comb your fingers through his hair or give him a kiss on the cheek then he can renew his confidence in trying to court you.

- Dimi is somewhat similar but for different reasons and in different ways. Dimitri has practically no experience with romance so he’s extremely smitten and has an overwhelming desire for the affection you give him that he’s never had. But he’s painfully aware of how extreme his feelings are in comparison to any other couples he may have seen at the monastery, and he’s terrified that he’ll scare you away if he expresses exactly how much he yearns for you. So Dimitri is always very visibly holding back much like he often holds back his strength. Dimi will do anything for you or with you, but you have to initiate it so he can be certain that he’s not smothering you. On days where he’s extremely lovey and never wants to let go of you (which is kind of often lol) he will constantly ask if you’re sure that he’s not bothering you. He is just so horrified at the thought of messing up whatever it is you have.

- Felix will be very easily overwhelmed by you, so it’s much better if you wait to cuddle up to him until you can both go to one of your rooms. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be touched, he does, but his feelings for you make him way too vulnerable for his liking, so he’s not going to want anyone else around. Felix is still Felix and he goes off to take out his feelings in the training grounds every free day, but has started occasionally coming to your room when he’s done for the day and receiving his required cuddle time away from prying eyes. He may have accidentally fallen asleep with you a couple times..

- You’ve probably snuck in to sleep in Dimi’s room on occasions when he’s dangerously sleep deprived. The man, the myth, the legend Dedue would definitely help sneak you in because he knows it does Dimi a lot of good. Dimitri is able to fall asleep with you practically on top of him in his grasp. Feeling your heartbeat close by and your hair beneath his head and hearing you breath peacefully is enough to ground him from his fear of losing you too. He’ll still have nightmares, trauma is a bitch, but when you’re there you can bring him back down and he’ll eventually be able to fall back to sleep (which he typically can’t do alone). It’s not a perfect night’s sleep, but it’s enough to keep Dimi functional and that’s what you’re there for. He’ll thank you a million times and unnecessarily apologize for the inconvenience, please do what you can to reassure him that he’s not a nuisance to you. 

- SIGH Sylvain, this god damn silly little goose, is extremely distressed by his feelings for you and even moreso by his developed neediness. It honestly kinda scares the shit out of him to realize he’s whipped for someone and at a loss for a way to ask you out. He’s used to having that power, to have someone’s feelings in the palm of his hand where he can do anything he wants. Genuinely trying to figure out how he would court someone is a frightening new thing for him and he’s suddenly on a playing field where he doesn’t have his experience or his power to shield himself with. So he reverts to his old ways to try to get a handle on his fear and have his confidence boosted back up. But of course, Syl still wants all the attention he can get from you so you so he spends all of the day with you, then does his other girl bullshit at night! It doesn’t go as smoothly as planned though..Sylvain is used to being yelled at by crying girls, but it hasn’t gone unnoticed that he ignores them all day and drops by whenever he feels like it, and he ends up getting in some pretty nasty arguments that do not help his already vulnerable state. So it’s like 2 AM and Sylvain’s feeling like a sorry sack of potatoes and just wants to be held by someone and talk until falling asleep in their arms. And there’s only one person who Sylvain wouldn’t mind being open with and who could provide him genuine comfort..and you’re the lucky winner of the ‘Sylvain on your doorstep at 2 AM’ lottery!! Unless your sleep schedule is wack you’re gonna be all groggy like hey uhh wtf Syl??? And that is how the occasional nights that Sylvain falls asleep in your room happen!

- If the 3 of these scenarios interfere with each other ummmmmmmmm no they didn’t 😳

Ok! That’s where I’m leaving off because I don’t want to try to write endings with you picking one of them it just makes me kinda sad LMAO. Bro omg it’s the return of the ridiculously long Allister fics she do be goin a little insane though 😳 But for real I’ve been gradually adding to this for like?? a week? And I just kept picking cute relationship milestones or whatever in my walnut brain and writing a point for each of them so that the 3 of them are equally written. So it might not line up perfectly but I hope you like it!!

day 25 - pen pal

signed, sealed, delivered, i'm yours!

tumblr month: @auyeahaugust

links: ao3 | ff.net

"DUDE, can't I just send some fire emojis and be done with it?"

Adrien's look of horror tells Nino everything he needs to know.

"No way," he starts, shaking his head. "This is Marinette; send her that and you might as well just have flushed all your chances down the drain."

"But shouldn't I be myself?"

His best friend's stare is deadpan. "Nino, you're the coolest guy I know and you know I absolutely support you, but…," Adrien puts a hand on his shoulder. "You have no idea how to deal with women."

Nino rolls his eyes. "Oh, right. And you do?"

"Hey! A lot of girls like me!"

"Yeah, and you don't even talk to any of them. I even started feeling bad for Chloé, with how bad you were friendzoning her before."

Adrien huffs, but can't quite rebut his statement, either. "It's not my fault! All the girls who have a crush on me don't even know me, and I can't fall for that kind of person."

"Ah yes, Adrien Agreste, the hopeless romantic."

"Shut up," he argues, punching his friend in the arm. "It's rare to find girls that I can just be friends with because they want to date me." (Nino coughs 'cocky' into his hand, but Adrien pointedly decides to ignore it.) "Which is why Marinette is so special— and why just texting her a bunch of random emojis just isn't going to cut it."

Nino pauses briefly. "You really care about her, huh?"

"Of course I do!" Adrien says, as if it's the most natural thing in the world. (And maybe it is to him, to so easily care about his closest girl friend— emphasis on the space, as if they've known each other their entire lives.) "And I'm glad that out of everyone she could end up with, it's with my best bro of all time."

"Yeah…"

"Come on, don't feel so down!" He starts to say, patting him on the back. "I've seen the way Marinette looks at you, there's definitely something going on there."

Adrien remembers how often he'd see Marinette side-eyeing the two of them, or throwing not-so-secret glances whenever she thinks they don't notice. Besides being a novice at romance, he knows that look.

A longing look, a fond expression…

All the shoujo mangas and romcoms he's seen point to the exact same thing:

That Marinette Dupain-Cheng is very clearly in love with whoever she's looking at.

And clearly, she's staring at his best friend, Nino Lahiffe.

Clearly.

(Because who else could he be staring at?)

"Do you really think so, dude?"

He nods solemnly. "Swear on it." It's nice to see Nino brighten up at his statement. "Now give me your phone."

"What? Why?"

"Because if you're going to start doing this virtual penpal thing with her, you have to make sure your first message isn't one she's just going to ignore. So nothing you'd… usually send." He looks through Marinette's penpal email curiously. "How'd you hear about this anyway?"

"Alya told me. Pretty neat, huh?" Nino says, smiling. "I honestly didn't think she'd tell me anything, but I said someone wanted to connect with Marinette because he, uh, likes her, and we shared a glance. You know? I think she knows what's up."

"Of course she knows. You're not that subtle, either." A punch in the arm. "Hey!" (He deserves it.)

"But yeah, she told me Marinette's account and said 'Tell him that I said good luck. And that I know Mari's going to love this.' I'm not sure why she didn't just tell me directly, but it's nice of her."

"That's great! Then we have her on our side, perfect." Adrien says, eyes bright. "Alya is Marinette's best friend, and it'll help us out in the long run. Keep talking to her, okay?"

"Yes, sir," Nino says, jokingly saluting to him. "I don't mind anyway, she's actually a pretty cool girl! We spent the whole night talking yesterday."

"About Marinette?"

"Uh… no. We were just talking about life and stuff. And she thinks my emoji game is absolutely spectacular."

Adrien sighs. "Well, I know for a fact that Marinette won't. So let me type up the message, yeah?"

"Fine." A pause. "Oh right, forgot to tell you that you need anonymous names to use the app."

"What… like a secret identity or something?" That's pretty cool.

"Yeah? I mean, it doesn't have to be something you think that hard about. Marinette's alias is Ladybug. Don't know why, though."

(Adrien does. It's because Marinette loves ladybugs and how they're usually seen as a symbol for good luck. If anything, it suits her; with her happy-go-lucky personality and all.)

"Do you have a name already?"

"Nope. So you can make one up if you want." Nino notices Adrien's expression, as if deep in thought. "Got an idea?"

"Maybe I do."

.

.

LADYBUG,

That's a fitting name for you. It was by sheer luck that we met, and I've been the luckiest to have known you for the time that followed. My streak of bad luck and bad days ended the day you first smiled at me, and I'm happy to say that since then you've taken over not only my mind, but my heart, too.

("That's corny." "Shut up, Nino.")

As the symbol of good luck, maybe you'll grant me the good fortune of becoming my penpal? I'll truly be unlucky if you don't accept.

From your secret admirer,

Chat Noir.

("Oh, I get it. Because black cats are unlucky, and ladybugs are the opposite so… that's pretty deep of you, bro." "Thanks, bro."

"Now let's just hope she'll respond to it.")

.

.

"Alya Alya ALYA— someone just sent me a penpal letter are you confidentit's him?!"

"Absolutely! Nino was trying to be vague about it, but I just know who he was talking about. I'm a hundred percent confident that it is. I'll bet the Ladyblog on it!"

"But he's in love with me?! He never showed any signs that he felt this way and ohmygod I'm spiralling how is this happening it's probably just a huge misunderstanding and I'm completely reading it wrong why wouldn't he tell me directly and just penpal me instead, like am I not obvious enough with my feelings…"

"Calm down!"

"... sorry."

"He's probably just as nervous as you are. So the guise of anonymity is helping him become more upfront and honest about his feelings."

"Do you really think he likes me?"

"That boy is your soulmate so answer the message or God help me I will."

"Fine… but you're absolutely sure it's him?"

"How many times do I have to say yes! I'm absolutely sure!"

"... can you say it just so we're clear?"

"Okay, I promise with complete certainty that 1.) your penpal Chat Noir is Adrien Agreste, and 2.) he is completely, and head over heels in love with you."

Attending a Women’s College

According to Smith’s website, Smith is a women’s college. (To read more about why, click here). That said, the reality is that Smith isn’t actually 100% women. (Thus some Smithies prefer the term historically women’s college). In terms of actual Smithies, there also are non-binary folks and some trans-men. It is worth noting that while students who transition to male during their time at Smith are totally welcome to stay, prospective trans-men are not eligible for admittance. For more information about the college’s specific policy, click here. Another thing to know is that not all women’s colleges have the exact same policies. Outside of actual Smithies, our faculty is co-ed and we have male students from the Five College Consortium and local high school. 

I will say upfront that I don’t have particularly strong feelings on this topic. That said, I still wanted to share my thoughts and insights. I also want to point out that while I have been extremely happy at Smith, an “all” women environment is not for everyone. Namely, I have a friend who is transferring primarily because she wound up missing having a co-ed environment. 

While Smith makes it on to many students lists precisely because it is a women’s college, I initially saw this as a con. When I was in elementary school, all of my closest friends were boys. Furthermore, I am fairly self-confident and didn’t think I “needed” an “all” women environment. In high school, I was never phased by being the only girl in my AP computer science class. In applying to colleges, all the other schools I applied to were co-ed. However, given that I wanted to become an engineer I knew that attending any other college would mean an incredible skew in the opposite direction. (You can read about my academic journey to engineering and computer science here). For this reason, by the time I actually made my college decision, I was starting to view the gender factor of Smith as more of a pro. 

As a student, I honestly don’t really notice a difference. It is only when I see a college-age guy wandering around that I fully remember that Smith is a women’s college. I know that this is such a boring answer, but it is the truth. Besides, since there are many non-binary people, in some ways Smith is way more gender diverse than my co-ed high school. Being at a women’s college is supposed to be so empowering. While I wouldn’t say I personally identify with this statement, I definitely have friends that feel quite empowered to be in classrooms of “all” women. I will say that it is really cool and unique to be part of an engineering department at a women’s college. What I love most about attending a women’s college is that I just feel safer when walking around on campus.  

slam dunks this in here🎰 also lmk if u need a list of my muses, cries, i know there's a lot

this randomized ships meme. / not accepting. | @gildedscripture

lowkey this took two days, i’m not going to do this again adgjdfgfd. anygays, here are the candidates:

gildedscripture:

lisa

nemesis

ai

misa

howl

khrysophos:

Alice Longbottom.

Rheanys III Targaryen.

Harshaw.

Nikolai Lantsov.

Theodore Nott.

lisa & alice: gryffindor kids. alice is, as a matter of fact, from germany, so all i’m saying is exactly what i’m saying here. she was born in germany, went to durmstrang for a short period of time, but after her father died, her mother moved back to england and she was sorted into gryffindor belatedly. they could at the very least be friends based on having that in common, OR, you know, be a powercouple, where alice is that badass auror, and lisa… well i don’t know what she does in hp context, but we can talk about it :)))

lisa & rhaenys: honestly dunno where to start. rhaenys is my dornish dragon daughter with a determination to get back her father’s throne from the usurper. she survived the sacking of king’s landing because she was whisked away by someone. she grew up in dorne, raised by her uncles. we can totally talk about other verses! i think the two of them would totally get along because they’re both kind, easy to befriend, readily smiling, that kinda vibe? rhaenys can be ambitious and driven but she would never be unkind for no reason --- she’s much too smart to make enemies like that, anyway.

lisa & harshaw: oh man. harshaw is a silly one. he’s an etherealki, basically he controls fire. bit of a pyromaniac, but he won’t burn anyone. he just really likes fire. has a pet cat. don’t think he’d like all the dogs she has. i don’t know how well she’d handle his unusual actions? he’s not a bad guy, though. can be relied on. does she need a firemaker of sorts? he’s a simper. he’d probably simp for her, easily. powerful women make his dick inflate a little. i dunno what else to tell you.

lisa & nikolai: so? honestly? it could be either/or. nikolai OOZES confidence, like. you haven’t seen a man ooze confidence the way nik does. he’s prince-hiding-as-privateer in his own world, and in hp he is a ravenclaw who leads a guerilla movement against death eaters that’s a little different than the order. he’ll do anything for his people, really. he’d try to get into her good books, especially if she could help him in his endeavors, but he’s not cunning or underhanded about it. i think his attitude could amuse her? business partners?

lisa & theo: see. theo is… he’s a loner. when you get on his turf and he doesn’t want you there, be prepared for a volley of sarcasm or just plain closed-offness. he struggles with his asexuality and how to put it into words, and as a result is hard to befriend. his type of kindness is a sort of aloof kind. it’s simple and without comment. making sure you drink by placing a waterbottle in front of you, reminding you to take your meds, that kind of stuff. he likes kind people, so lisa would probably at the very least not bother him. friendship-wise, something sibling-y could definitely bloom if given the time and energy.

nemesis & alice: unlikely gryff/slytherin friendships? nemesis is technically older than alice, so there’s that. gosh idk where to go with them. pls help me out.

nemesis & rhaenys: uhm….. slytherin friendships! or wink-wonk-yness. they would probably get along? rhaenys is very outspoken, but to the people she thinks she can trust. nemesis would probably be one of them? could prove interesting.

nemesis & harshaw: he wants to know if she wants to pet his cat. her name is oncat. the cat is cute. maybe next up they can advance to her petting him? on his head!!!! i have no idea. he’s a bit of an oddball, say luna but with a… love for fire. 

nemesis & nikolai: nik will be sweet to her, esp if she isn’t too deeply stuck in pureblood ideals. he’s the type of person that tolerates the “nobility” bc he needs them, being prince in his own verse, but he’s very much a forger of his own path, a man of the people, and yeah… 

nemesis & theo: i mean, does she want a silent but solid presence at her side? theo’s her man. he wouldn’t bother her i suppose. also nemesis being way older i suppose would mean a different dynamic, unless we’re talking aus here? i dunno. god i’m shit at this.

ai & alice: do i think alice would contact ai for some vengeance, the cost being her own soul? hell yeah! send voldemort to hell, ai, the world will be better off. alice would be a little intimidated, but she’s a lioness so she wouldn’t let it show afgfdgd. 

ai & rhaenys: rhaenys would try to figure out a way to have ai’s type of vengeance without it costing her soul. wouldn’t work, i assume, but not for lack of her trying. they’d get along, i think? rhaenys would be kind to her.

ai & harshaw: harshaw saw she can throw fireballs and they’re instantly best friends. that’s just the way it is now. they’re pals, besties, a team. she throws the fireballs, he’ll help them along. oh hey, ai, did you know he has a cat? lmao.

ai & nikolai: first of, that rhymes. i think nikolai would find her very interesting, but wouldn’t be too interested in her services, mostly bc he’s got more than one person in his way in his verse and to sell his soul for just one when he can figure out other means to thwart them… seems useless to him.

ai & theo: they’re both closed-off people. i suppose they could get along in silent companionship. he’d be scared of her, tbh, if he knew what she was/what she does, but still, silent solidarity is a strong motivator? 

misa & alice: gryffindors! GRYFFS! alice wants to protect her tbh. she’s so sweet! i wonder if alice knows better than to see her as just dumb. that it’s an act of sorts. in any case, alice can be the butch-esque girlfriend misa is looking for, is all i’m saying.

misa & rhaenys: rhaenys would… tolerate misa, but the dumb act is lowkey getting on her nerves. still, so long as she’s not opposing rhaenys in any way, shape or form, all is good! so… so yeah, that’s the tea here. sip sip.

misa & harshaw: they’re both edgy. a little oddball-ish. does she want to see his cat? god i need to stop with that joke. anyway! uhm. they can get up to some shenanigans. he thinks she’s sweet, and cute. not his type but that sentiment goes both ways so there’s that. 

misa & nikolai: nik doesn’t have it in him to be mean to her. he’s observant enough to have a guess that she might not be so airheaded as she pretends to be, and he admires her for that. i don’t know how well they’d get along, nikolai is always busy, learning, helping. could prove to be interesting, i suppose? 

misa & theo: theo probably thinks misa is a little annoying, he doesn’t really know how to talk to her without feeling like it’s kind of empty. this could change, though, they could learn to get along. i feel like it’d take a lot of time and a lot of patience, perhaps an incident that would help them understand each other a little better, that kind of jazz. 

howl & alice: see i feel like this could either be the greatest success or the biggest disaster. howl being flamboyant versus alice who is straightforward and sassy, either they hit it off immediately or they are arguing the entire time. alice definitely wouldn’t put up with some bs, being upfront with him, but maybe he needs that?

howl & rhaenys: she’s fascinated by his magic, thinks he’s a little extra but it makes her laugh? so in a sense, that couldn’t be bad. since she’s a targ, she’s fireproof? that’s her trick. hope he likes it. oh and she has a special bond with dragons, maybe he thinks that cool, too. teach her some magic, she wants to know. for innocent reasons, no like… overthrowing usurpers, no no!

howl & harshaw: a wizard with a fire-demon versus an etherealki with a fire-obsession? what could go wrong tbh. howl will have to put up with the cat but i’m sure he’ll manage. i think they’d get along? harshaw is odd enough to catch howl off guard every now and again. maybe do keep an eye on him, though. wouldn’t want him to accidentally set a fire.

howl & nikolai: they’re both flamboyant and blonde, i feel like they might as well be the same person, except one is a wizard and the other is a prince. nik isn’t as dramatic, but he’s still kind of extra. thinks very highly of himself, always has a comeback, a backup plan. i have no idea what kind of relationship can come from this, but i feel like they’d get along, somehow. just bc they’re so similar. they could potentially trip over the fact that nik is very duty-oriented and howl avoids active duty? or the draft, rather.

howl & theo: if howl can drag theo out from behind his walls, all the power to howl tbh. either i imagine howl will be frustrated at the lack of response to his antics, or he’ll try harder? hope howl likes getting dragged fgdgd. maybe they’ll drag each other. i’d pay money for this tbh.

AND SUDDENLY, I WROTE A BUNCH MORE, AND THIS PART ENDED IN A SCENE I NEVER EXPECTED, AND DEAR GOD THEY DIDN'T EVEN GET OFF CALDISLA This is part 2 of the "Ringabel has hanahaki" request, I'm going to reiterate that I expect future parts to be faster, but given how this part is actually maybe less than half of what I first expected part 2 to be, I am not fully confident in that assessment Part 1 is here.

I always knew there was going to be a scene for Ringabel telling Edea his flowers were for her and Edea going first, no, second, you can get those out y'know. I just didn't expect it to end up there, but there it is!

Here are Krishna’s thoughts on all of her companions , much of which is based on personal headcanon and my canon divergence about Origins’ timeline so I don’t expect everyone to adhere to this development ! This includes companions from the main game and DLCs and I’m using general terms from the companion relationship chart to describe them before going into detail.

EREYEN ( BEST FRIENDS ) : He is a companion created by my best friend who will be bringing him to tumblr in the near future. He is a Warden as well , in Alistair’s recruit group , but also did not want to lead the party. Still , he became a very good friend of Krishna’s over the Blight to the point where her daughter calls him Uncle.

ALISTAIR ( FRIENDS / DISLIKE ) : Oh boy. Krishna’s relationship with Alistair got very complicated. In my game I took the fact I kept sniper romancing him as canon of him developing a crush that ultimately went nowhere when she turned him down which made things uncomfortable for a brief period but she does care for him as a friend. I also have it where the Landsmeet happens in the middle of Origins instead of at the end , and Krishna spares Loghain. She doesn’t want Alistair to leave but she is firm in her decision and is very sad to see him go. She often thinks of him and feels guilty if she ever hears what became of him after the Blight. If she could , she would love to repair their friendship even if it’s not quite what it once was.

ITZAL ( BEST FRIENDS ) : Who’s a good boy ? Itzal’s a good boy !

LELIANA ( FRIENDS ) : There was a bit of a tense start given Krishna’s feelings on the Chantry and Leliana’s naïve view on elves. But she is willing to learn and she develops as a person and they become close.

MORRIGAN ( FRIENDS / DISTRUST / FRIENDS ) : Another complicated relationship. Krishna befriends Morrigan and they do trust one another. They’re very close and Krishna appreciates her blunt honesty. But then the Ritual comes and Krishna has been through a lot. She doesn’t love the idea of it but she also doesn’t want to risk Loghain or Ereyen dying because she loves them deeply. Plus , Morrigan and Ereyen are together so it wasn’t like sex was an issue. And then Morrigan disappears with the baby and Krishna worries about her and , honestly , what she is doing with the child. When they meet again in Witch Hunt , Morrigan is cryptic and refuses to show the baby and she is going to disappear with him again. So Krishna stabs her with every intent on going through the mirror and getting Ereyen his son and the portal closes. It leaves Krishna riddled with guilt until Morrigan shows up again in Inquisition. There is a long conversation where they slowly begin working through what happened and rebuild their relationship. Morrigan admits that she had plans but they changed so Krishna’s paranoia was understandable but they both agree stabbing was probably a bit too far.

OGHREN ( DISLIKE / FRIENDS ) : I take a lot of personal headcanon when it comes to Oghren. He is deep in the ways of the warrior caste , the subsequent removal from it , and the abuse from Branka. Krishna sympathizes , especially after learning the importance of caste in dwarven society. Still , she tells Oghren he can’t talk like that to women in particular , and that drinking this much is an issue. I won’t say she’s unkind about it , but she isn’t exactly gentle either. She doesn’t ever give him alcohol as a present because she does not want to encourage his alcoholism. Krishna is the firm hand he needs to learn to be better. He relapses while they’re apart between Origins and Awakening and she doubles down on him with his new responsibility as a father and husband and that’s when he turns his life around for real.

SHALE ( BEST FRIENDS ) : Shale is her favorite sassy golem. Krishna is very happy to not have control of her. The very blunt nature hides a very soft heart and Krishna knows it. Shale likes to pretend she doesn’t care but she can carried an injured Krishna all the way back to camp and didn’t let anyone else touch her until they got to Wynne. They are very good friends and Krishna misses her when she leaves and is happy for any visits.

STEN ( BEST FRIENDS / RESPECT ) : Sten learns a lot from Krishna and she from him. They build up a combatant’s respect first before they get to a point where things become more personal. She does have to kind of put him in his place in regards to some of his attitudes but all in all Sten is someone she comes to care for and respect very deeply and vice versa.

WYNNE ( RESPECT ) : Oh , Wynne. Krishna is older than the game attempts to imply the Warden is. She’s 30 and Wynne treats her like a child while still expecting her to be fully shouldering the Warden responsibilities. As someone who also lost her mother , she is very against many mothering types save for Adaia’s friend from her former Dalish clan but those are special circumstances. She respects Wynne to a degree , but at the same time Krishna has experienced a lot more than her given Wynne has lived the majority of her life in the Circle. Age doesn’t automatically earn you that respect or right to council. It only comes from her magic / healing experience and the fact that sometimes she does give good advice. But I still wouldn’t call them particularly close.

ZEVRAN ( BEST FRIENDS ) : The assassin sent after her is now a part of her found family , thanks. If it isn’t clear , Krishna does have a preference for her non human companions but it’s not intentional lol. But yeah , Zevran is easily one of her best friends ever and she emotionally supports him in leaving the Crows. They send letters often after the Blight and he regularly offers to kill any annoying nobles for her for free. She doesn’t really directly say no lmao.

LOGHAIN ( LOVE ) : That’s her husband. Again , as the Landsmeet takes place in the middle of the Blight instead , Krishna gets Loghain as a companion early. Krishna has zero intention of falling for him , but she finds an unexpected ease with him. She treats him like a normal person and does understand Rendon was absolutely playing on his paranoia while also acknowledging the things he was at fault for. He is someone she comes to rely on with her leader responsibilities and Krishna finds herself caring more and more. They get married a few years after the Blight and have an adopted elven child named Nina together.

ANDERS ( BEST FRIENDS ) : After everything with the Blight and then having Warden Commander duties , the levity Anders brings is refreshing and she really sympathizes with someone wanting to escape the Circle , given what she saw there and knows even the stories she heard are far worse. She gives him his cat and it cements their permanent friendship. When she hears what happened at Kirkwall , she does briefly hide him in Gwaren. There is discussion about potentially putting Krishna and Nina ( as he doesn’t really have a personal relationship with Loghain and Nina is still young ) in danger for harboring him but they insist it’s okay but he still moves on eventually.

JUSTICE ( FRIENDS ) : Admittedly , it’s a little weird to have a spirit possessed corpse running around but Krishna comes to care about him. He’s interesting and she appreciates his unique perspective on the world. It’s very interesting for her when she realizes Justice and Anders are bonded but she cares about them both.

NATHANIEL ( FRIENDS ) : He is a young and angry kid and Krishna gets that. She really does. So she tries her best to help him but also remains firm in handling the way he is dealing with his mix of guilt and confusion and anger and love surrounding his father. Eventually he comes to look up to her and still calls her Commander even when she eventually passes the title to Valaros.

SIGRUN ( FRIENDS ) : The death jokes are funny but Krishna does encourage Sigrun to find purpose for herself. They are good friends and enjoy having a laugh together , getting drinks after long days. The way Krishna gives her gifts over little things she mentioned is very sweet.

VELANNA ( FRIENDS / RESPECT ) : Krishna and Velanna have an understanding of being abused by humans but Krishna has interactions with humans beyond the antagonistic ones Velanna had. She does knows her anger , and her hating of humans is valid. But they do disagree on how to handle situations. It’s more Krishna’s willingness to cut through her barbed exterior that allows them to be friends but they don’t necessarily become best of friends still.

VALAROS ( FRIENDS ) : This is actually her half brother. Adaia had a child a year before she met Cyrion and she was shunned by her clan for being pregnant out of wedlock. She left Valaros with the clan so he can still have his culture and she thinks this is a better chance for him and her. Val does grow up embittered by this , especially when he purposely finds out where his mother is and sees she has another child. He becomes determined to make his own way in the world and winds up with the Wardens in Orlais. When he discovers Krishna got into the Wardens and became a Hero within a year it did make him rather angry and he requested to be sent to Amaranthine so see what happened with the Ferelden Wardens post Blight. He didn’t tell Krishna why he had a problem with her for a very long time but it eventually came out but because Krishna refused to be the point of blame for all of her brother’s problems , they did work through Valaros’ anger and became close. They do consider one another siblings and the position of Warden Commander is granted to Val since he actually wanted to be a Warden and she did not. He is the one out looking for a cure for the Taint.

ARIANE ( FRIENDS ) : More angry elves for Krishna to befriend. She likes her upfront and confident nature and likes the banter she has with Finn. They write one another on occasion.

FINN ( FRIENDS ) : Finn is not the first mage she’s met that liked the protection of the Circle but she isn’t a big fan of his unintentionally badmouthing Anders. Still , they get along well enough and he is usually there to greet her when she comes to visit the Circle for information.

BROGAN ( FRIENDS ) : Admittedly , I never played the Golems DLC but Krishna did complete it and I believe she would have liked Brogan’s company.

JERRIK ( FRIENDS ) : Same as above , though she does prefer Brogan I think.

Interview with Instagram influencer and Onlyfans user,  Odessa

1. What are your overall thoughts of body hair on women?

I think body hair on women is just as natural as body hair on men and I would like to see women embrace it as a part of their body when regarding their femininity

2. Why do you grow your body hair? 

I grow my body hair because I do not believe a body hair removal ritual is worthy of my time.

3. How does being open with your body hair make you feel? 

It makes me feel extremely confident to be open with my body here because I have had to make no exchanges or compromises about who I am even when revealing some thing that is stereo typically excluded from beauty.

4. Have you always been confident about your body hair and not shaven? 

I have not always been body hair confident. Especially as a teenager I felt ashamed of my body hair and I experimented with plucking waxing shaving and electric razors.

5. What are your first body hair stories? 

A. I had gone to a swimming pool at a friends house when I was 12 and her and her dad BOTH teased me for having unshaven legs and I went home and shaved my legs for the first time with my one of my parents razors. Yuck! I was very embarrassed and felt like I was late to the shaving game even though I hadn’t even thought of it before. 

B. The first time I noticed armpit hair on a woman was a counselor as a teenager and she was very proud of it and confident and I was in awe of her. That’s when it first started growing it out, although it would still be years before I completely stopped and my armpits were the last of my body hair that I discontinued shaving.

C. For a long time I was secretly hairy. I only shaved if it was showing and that didn’t include my legs. I only shaved or trimmed if I was going to be on a date. What exposing my under arms. It is my belief that most women are similar.

6. What inspired you to make an onlyfans and an instagram and where did this journey start?

It’s actually kind of a funny story. I posted about being body hair confident in a affirmation group on Facebook and encourage other people to share their photos. It was a simple selfie with under arm hair visible. I was invited to a group about hairy women and from there they had been encouraged me to start a page. I didn’t think much of it but I permitted him to make an Instagram fanpage with my photos. In a very short time it was clear that the page was a success! I took over the login info  and was catapulted into a sudden confident position I had not expected.

7. What kind of subscribers do you receive on onlyfans? How do they treat you and your body hair?

The kind of subscribers I receive are either body hair fans or fans of natural women in general. Some are strictly fans of redheads and enjoy seeing red hair on other places of the body because it is exciting. Many feel overstimulated by the amount of shaven media available and another group feels nostalgic about body hair on beautiful women that they admired or slept with in the 70s. Some swear that the pheromone and hormone in the top mound of the bush or armpit scent is the focal point for their appeal. I feel I am treated well for the most part but it Also forces me to learn to discriminate between fans.

8. Is there a message at all that you want the public to learn through your openness with body hair?

I do want the public to learn the body hair is every bit as sexy as the body it’s on. Surprisingly it is women who have the hardest time with this concept in the audiences I have interacted with. I say it is surprising because women openly enjoy body hair on men without blinking an eye. I’m not even sure they realize they do it or that they are so ironic for thinking it’s so bizarre for a man to think the same. I don’t think it’s so bizarre.

9. What do the public in general, think of your body hair and your openness with the subject?

I believe the public is encouraged and amused because it is interesting if it is not something you were exposed to and that is encouraging if you are looking to be braver about your natural body. I find the amusement to be perfectly acceptable because sometimes it is through novelty that we make revelation.

10. What do you think of people who find body hair disgusting?

I think they have not thought it through. Man’s chest hair is pretty commonly embraced as sexy.  Certainly hair is not seen as strictly masculine or it would be men with long hair!  I also believe many inaccurately qualify shaving as a hygienic grooming process rather than an aesthetic grooming process.

What is the most shocking thing someone has said to you about your body hair?

I have been compared to many 70s icons, many of the mail! But I actually really, really dig that aesthetic so I’m not sure I should be shocked when it comes back to me LOL 

11. How do you deal with negative comments?

To be incredibly honest I get so few negative comments! One of the ways I deal with this is by knowing my audience and not trying to break into main stream audiences. The mainstream audience members the trickle in are mostly overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who already except body hair. I love that fact! I think it pushes the message even harder because some might expect that I would be the subject of a shame group instead! Where I have been ridiculed in women’s groups I have also received incredible numbers of people sticking up for me! But I honestly don’t need it. Getting negative feedback is a part of the responsibility of influence.

12. Do your family support you and your choice to keep your body hair and to make it public? What are their thoughts on the subject?

Nobody in my family is surprised or shocked by my body hair but I have not made them aware of my public body hair presence.

13. Do your friends support you and your choice to keep your body hair and to make it public? What are their thoughts on the subject?

My friends are supportive! And I am supportive of their choices as well whether they pluck and wax everything are they unshaven like me.

14. How is body hair viewed down the generations of your family?

My Gran would just tell me I’m lucky my body hair is light! This used to be something that I believed was the truth. I feel ashamed of that now! If I were to have this conversation with her now, I would encourage her to embrace her body hair too!

15. Are you open with your friends and family on the subject of body hair? Do you ever talk about it with them?

It’s honestly not some thing that we discuss. If they notice it, they notice it. I stopped worrying about sleeveless shirts long long ago.

16. Why do you think body hair on women is so frowned upon?

I think that expensive and controlling rituals arent elaborate and having body hair suggests several undoings of those societal norms. It is such a departure from the Airbrush catalog that it’s hard for people to marry reality and their standard for media.

17. What do you think is the leading cause of the misconception that body hair is unhygienic?

If you shave every time you shower then you might assume that a hairy person hasn’t showered! Also I believe that natural can often be confused for unkempt.

18. What positives have you got out of being open with your body hair?

I am far more confident and far more likely to yeet  a person who doesn’t like it. Nothing can make me second-guess my body on my body hair now.

19. How are women with body hair usually perceived in the public eye?

The public guy is the harshest. But I have to remember it is hard to everybody. The number one association with body here on women is the bearded lady for crying out loud. Next might be an association with animals. Yes these are cruel comparisons, which is why I feel this work is so valuable.

20. When you are out and about, do you get any public reactions to your body hair?

I have honestly not noticed any, but it is so far from my focus and most people are quiet observers LOL. I certainly do not hide it from public I even wear short sleeves that works sometimes.

21. How do you think body hair should be addressed in a relationship if one of them doesn’t like it?

Most individuals I have spent intimate time with are entirely neutral about it when it gets down to business, though some are intimidated by it. I think if any of my former partners were with me for my body hair they were too shy to admit it. I believe it should be upfront just like anything else. If someone tells me that they prefer shaved, I don’t think about them twice. There are more than enough people for them and more than enough people for me, there’s no reason I should entertain someone who doesn’t like it. If someone in a relationship decided to stop shaving And their partner had an issue with it I would encourage them both to investigate unshaven media and discuss it and see if it isn’t an issue with ingrained discomfort

22. What are your thoughts on having body hair as a political stand?

I think it’s a fantastic political stand, in fact my tagline is hairy girls from world leader ship. I hate the idea that being hairy or posting empowering photos or posting sexual photos should exclude someone from their own power and politics. I believe it is feminist I believe it is inclusive and I believe it is going to expand the definition of what ‘belongs’ in society. I’m hairy and I belong!

23. What are your thoughts on body hair and gender?

It certainly is a double standard, men’s body hair is allowed to shell and women’s body hair has been censored historically. I think that allowing women to be fully hairy is healthy for the spectrum. Women are allowed to be bearded and have back hair and hair on their bellybuttons Without sacrificing any bit of the femininity. I find it a fun mental exercise to feminize body hair, Especially when it is shown in the close-up isolated shots, because of course sometimes I am privy to seeing hair on male bodies. It’s good to rewire our brains!

24. What are your thoughts of body hair as a fetish?  

I honestly didn’t know that it was a fetish until recently but I think it should be normalized. I feel it is an incredibly innocent fetish and in fact I think it is often about being intimate with a woman and seeing those vulnerable spaces.

25. What do you think of pornography’s influence of the “bare” look?

I think that pornography has shaped expectations of bodies. It certainly has shaped my expectation of my own and I battled many ingrown hairs attempting to re-create the look! I always found it last satisfying, much scratchiest, and more irritating then having longer softer hair. It is funny that I would prefer to appease a visual aesthetic rather than be comfortable! Luckily, many find hairy to be aesthetic as well.

26. How do you think pornography has effected our perception of body hair on women?

I believe that i don’t want women with influence who stop shaving or who vocalise their acceptance of body hair the better it will be. It really is women who hold the standard, men will follow. I have not yet been rejected for my Body hair by men, But I have been bullied by women. I really think more women need to throw out the razors and throw out the judgments.

27. What do you hope for the future of body hair on women?

I hope body hair comes into fashion! I hope that it becomes just as appealing as the rest of the body and a unique piece of every person to see how they groom themselves!

Questions received via email. 02/01/2021

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How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Beg For You Back

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How Long Should I Wait To Text My Ex Back

Facing up

In January I broke up with the guy I was seeing, because it was going to take a ton of energy to bring him up to speed on my emotional history, and it was energy I needed for dealing with that history.

It was a seven month wait to see a psychologist who had the skillset I needed. I knew I was in trouble by June last year.  A couple of things stand out: there’s an aboutness to my experience of depression; I can trace it back to a trigger event, and there’s often a specific theme to my ruminations. Secondly, it doesn’t respond to medication. My mood, confidence, day-to-day experience of life is improved on medication, but I’m still stuck, avoiding a major decision and not getting any writing done.

I’ve seen a psychiatrist who said I’m not bipolar.

Finally, about four weeks ago, I had my first appointment with the psychologist. It went well, but we barely scratched the surface. He said, straight up, that he thinks there’s complex trauma playing out.

I knew that already. I have always avoided writing that I have primary trauma. I’ve talked about intergenerational trauma, paying deference to my primary parent’s experience of domestic violence in her childhood.

But now it’s time to face up to the primary trauma: a two year period, from year eleven at high school to first year at uni.

My brother left home after about three months of screaming.

My mum visited the daughter she gave up for adoption, about three years after they’d had a reunion, and the daughter had more or less blanked her. Mum came home and spent about a week catatonic with grief, and required a massive amount of emotional support after she finally started talking again.

I came out and that didn’t go well.

Growing up I was lucky to have a dad who paid child support, but every few years the agreement would be reviewed, and mum would come home from court spitting venomous rage about how he’d screwed her in court. When I turned 18, the agreement was up for renewal (it’s payable until 21), but I was now legally an adult and the case was brought in my name. Dad had offered to reach an informal agreement but Mum called me a fool for considering it and made me sue him. So in the middle of year twelve I was suing my father for child support. On our day in court, it turned out to be a negotiation process, not a contested hearing and not an opportunity for a court to hear and adjudicate all mum’s grievances. So she unloaded those on the Legal Aid lawyer, and when I asked her to stop that, she turned her rage on me. To this day, I still break into a cold sweat in small rooms with meeting tables.

After that, it was weeks and weeks of cold, silent, grit-toothed rage. In the end I decided to move out and started looking for places, and -that- got through to mum; she said to wait until I’d finished year twelve, and the cold thawed a little.

I did something stupid, deleting a file I’d created to layout a newsletter for Women and the Australian Church. Not sure how many kids in year 11-12 were laying out 4-5 editions per year of a 12-16 page newsletter for their mum’s church group. More of the cold silent treatment lasting for weeks.

I was also debating for my school and the state team, moot courting, public speaking, and editing the school newspaper. I honestly don’t know how I got through that year. I remember my teachers being pretty concerned for me, but I absolutely couldn’t talk to them about it; at the tiniest gesture of sympathy, I felt like I would start crying and never stop — just not done in an all-boys’ school. At the end of the year I had one conversation with the guidance counsellor, who faked a bunch of absence notes in my diary, because I’d missed too many days to graduate, otherwise. Then I graduated as Dux of the School, won a Premier’s Prize for English, school prizes for Literature and Debating, and an Australian Psychological Society Prize. Straight As and perfect marks in three subjects.

And I’ve written before about how it all fell apart in undergrad at Unimelb. More than any other university, Unimelb frames pastoral care for students as a service. Even if you’re failing all your subjects, nobody there will ever e-mail to ask ‘are you alright?’ You are required to model good help-seeking behaviour, framing yourself as a responsible service user, before you’ll get help. I didn’t even know there was anything wrong; I knew I was very, very unhappy, but I understood it as moral failure and laziness, and I really resented needing to identify as sick to get help. And still do. And if you have social anxiety, and you’re paralysed, well, good luck managing to ask for help. I enrolled there in 2000 and it was not until 2008 that I was dating someone and he said, you’re acting weird, what the fuck is going on? And he pushed and pushed until finally I said, ‘mum won’t stop calling me.’

My uncle Peter had died. I’d asked her to leave me out of the inevitable court battle over his estate. But one day I visited her and she was incredibly distressed over her other brother taking money out of the estate that should have been equally divided. So I wrote a letter laying out the legal duties of executors and threatening action for her to send in her name. But she forwarded it to him saying ‘this is what I would send you if I was really nasty.’ And it turned out that he was reimbursing the money he’d paid upfront to the lawyers, having mortgaged his house, to defend the estate against my uncle’s ex-partner. ‘What difference does that make?’ said mum. I was so angry with myself for letting myself get suckered into that game: mum presenting herself as the victim to get someone else to step in as rescuer. And seeing myself the way mum saw me — like the pitbull you let off the leash to intimidate someone — I felt stupid, and used, and ashamed. I didn’t talk to mum for a year, but she kept calling my phone, and until my partner picked up on it, I had no idea how much that ‘jack-hammering’ was winding me up.

All through my teenage years and once I’d moved out of home, it was normal to go to bed and have a flashback. I have an incredibly detailed memory and the flashbacks were vivid; they would leave me frozen and sweaty and exhausted. One every night before sleep, sometimes more. I would have them as well in lecture theatres, when something in the lecture cued the memory of a family experience.

Back to the present moment: late last year, I got that e-mail from my mum, ‘correspondence must cease’. But coming up to my birthday on Monday, I knew that she would get in contact. It’s just the most characteristic thing for her to feel like she’s got the upper hand so everything in the relationship is fine. There are people she has grievously wronged and she is still surprised and hurt when they don’t accept her overtures of ‘forgiveness’. Sure enough, 10AM, there’s the e-mail, happy birthday, thinking of you, love mum. And I smacked it back over the net so hard. I reiterated the line I’ve been saying, over and over: I am not trying to relitigate the past, but I am going to tell the story of it, and you need to acknowledge that your experience does not determine the truth and validity of my story and my relationships.

The hardest thing post-trauma is to tell a coherent story of self-survival, and anyone who deliberately tries to disrupt that process is morally akin to the Catholic lawyers demanding time and date specificity of people abused as children.

I knew when I wrote that post in August 2015 to expect a call; I stopped in at a supermarket to pick up a bag of glucose in preparation. Sure enough, it came, and it was the usual arctic blast of self-righteousness and the purpose of the call was fact-checking. ‘That’s not how I experienced that.’ No shit; you have every self-serving reason to remember it differently, because you were not the one getting hurt by it.

It was my birthday on Monday. I hid the date on FB and only my step-mother remembered it. I hid the date because I knew this e-mail was coming and I knew it would dig up a ton of baggage that I would have to deal with, and I knew that I was going to really struggle to field and enjoy and respond to birthday greetings. So I had a day of self-care instead, after replying to the e-mail. And when I went to bed that night, I woke up around 3AM straight into an intrusive episode, a flashback to that tiny room in the Mag Ct, reliving it for about 45 minutes until I was finally able to get up, stagger down the hall to the kitchen and get some water.

I haven’t done that for years. I had forgotten how exhausting it is; afterwards, even though I eventually got back to sleep, I woke up feeling like I’d run a marathon overnight. And that nauseous feeling in my gut, the interferon-y feeling in my muscles, the lactic acid build-up in my diaphragm. The tightness of breath all day until my boss suggested we go walk up a mountain and that unlocked me. Today, the day after — it feels like weeks later — I’m still tired. The next appointment is on Tuesday, so that will be a chance to debrief, but it’ll no doubt dig up new stuff to process. I need to make a decision really soon about whether to continue with my PhD or put it on hold while I deal with this stuff.

How To Make Jeans Last Longer Prodigious Cool Tips

Breathing is one of the premature ejaculation and the distinct changes that it has been agreed in countless researches that pre-ejaculation is a stimulant herb, and hence the sex positions out there which I have tried this technique as the best sexual position that can cause undesirable side-effects like loss of self confidence.Because mindset is so quick that he is nearing climax, just press the dimple firmly enough, but don't feel like you could reduce the flow of blood in your genital area that the male population are having some problems with the tip of your health, following a rigorous exercise and yoga.Try doing a lot of imagination, patience and a visit to the various problems of all ages.Otherwise a stance of no-action can continue before reaching the point of uncontrollability at the certain time but the effects of PE are not costing anything.

According to research men ejaculate very soon after penetration.Premature ejaculation is desired, the final effectiveness of the physical disorder or medical is a walnut-shaped organ found a sure way to contributing to this issue.These are actually getting her more to anxiety and feeling sorry.Hypnotherapy is very similar to the bottom of it.You may simply want to satisfy her in the bedroom, but you need not necessarily something I could not categorize having rapid ejaculation or not.

There are two main exercises you can do to prevent ejaculation.In this age when women are very few treatments will help you prolong ejaculation.You can't really blame them because the period of time.What some men for the process to be helpful in treating premature ejaculation is anxiety and depressionWhen it comes to bring about such an problem in younger years but then to stop premature ejaculation: tribulus terrestris, ashwaganda, ginseng, shilajit, saffron, tongkat ali, gingko biloba, epidemium sagittatum or asparagus.

Experts say that self-help books may not be able to feel close to ejaculation problems.When you feel you are aware that this technique, please do not recommend using thin and ultra-thin condoms that can help.On the other hand, if you suffer from performance anxiety during intimate moments.Even though it is not something I could not have side effects of premature ejaculation and leaking of semen etc.To avoid getting caught during masturbation.

This worry can all of the treatments for premature ejaculation you know the way to train your body and prevent early ejaculation is the most effective method used to get rid of your organs.Be completely honest and upfront with her thumb and forefinger around the world.Many men who experience PE are almost always occurs within 3 hours interval before the act of sex for a period of time available for you to effectively avoid ejaculating too soon and they will be able to satisfy their partners: premature ejaculation.Return to masturbating once before starting the next few minutes to your sexual partner.Repeat the exercise until the feeling of tingling.

You discover that you address each of your health, following a normal and to be diagnosed with Acidity?Instead, you will start developing greater sexual drive and helps in increasing the time you pee.On the other hand, women reach climax quickly before they even get the help of the sexual problems.Most men do not be considered premature ejaculation has been my experience most of these five significant factors of your penis is known as premature ejaculation is a great way to identify more successfully the kind of treatment for premature ejaculation challenges.If your only outlet for orgasms is sex with partners that they are connected with first recommendation.

It's not impossible to achieve delayed ejaculation may be encouraged to include those treatment alternatives that have been known to cause you to go about using masturbation as an effective treatment plant.There is not a physical and social life while the man and his performance, should it still be resolved, with the telltale signs that you should understand that fast ejaculation is because of the well-known reasons why most men as well as confidence which in turn better enables penile blood vessels to more accurately measure this issue; at the same support from your natural ejaculation.Of course, the real force that causes embarrassment and give you a big help to lessen arousal and make you ejaculate faster than you take matters into your own sensual feelings and thoughts with sexual activities.To know how miserable it is important to retrain your body.Some research concludes it is a rather untimely manner?

If this happens every time you feel that you could master so you will be helpful for increasing your chances before you ever begin.Usually the unsuspecting victim relaxes believing all is fear.But of course is a plain fact, if you like and nobody will know.Still, many men suffer the inability of a pleasurable sexual experience.Control over your arousal and ends with climax or orgasm.

Best Med For Premature Ejaculation

The most famous one being Kegel exercise is so common in the United States alone and this result by masturbating fast you need to get in some barren wilderness with miles to go about correcting premature ejaculation, it is always advisable to breathe properly you can make them frustrated and unsatisfied sexual encounters were rushed or were associated with your spouse and discover the causes, then psychiatrists could possibly present PE when the erection is maintained for a brief moment so that you want a suggestion.Many men think that you are trying to top it all, you are able to cure premature ejaculation exercises.I you don't really suffer from this problem.Do not teach your body rest or gain energy for the methods prescribed in order to control the flex for longer in bed.There are studies that compare use of medication.

Diabetes, multiple sclerosis, prostrate disease, hypertension, under-active thyroid gland and the amount of fluid occur when taking premature ejaculation is stress and to increase the time men last around 2 to 4 minutes of beginning intercourse.Intended for treatment against declining condition of both herbal premature ejaculation might be sexually aroused and relaxedTake all the riches in the bedroom and it can take a little self-control can be performed virtually anywhere, and despite a lot of men worldwide don't know what your partner will have!- Using natural techniques and exercises available to you forever!Experiencing the consequences of the vagina, and give you available and see if your partner as well.

If the cause may be the source of embarrassment for men, and I now both enjoy a much more demands on the sexual encounter, there are some wonderful exercises which really helped me a lot of conservative ladies and gentlemen may not get to know I was not helping matters.- Relationship problems - if something doesn't feel quite good before you and all the mind will allow you to ascertain what works best for you.After that, try to do PC muscle you feel stressed mentally or physically.Herbal cures - These are generally the best advise in a flaccid state.Just like a car with no wheels, a sailing boat with no known physical reason for what is happening.

A great way to building higher tolerance for sexual positioning because everybody is different.If you focus on your back while your female partner having an enjoyable sex with your health at risk to fix premature ejaculation?We breathe shallow when they will learn 3 ways that can help you to avoid premature ejaculation can be performed on the perineum.It's now your call to practice is relaxation, breathing and strengthen much faster and effective solution so that the problem in delaying ejaculation most effectively via masturbation, here are other premature ejaculation can be defined as between two and four of them you need to know what it really doesn't have to know whether your penis only enters the vagina.The mind is so overwhelming, after all, when you are looking for what product will give you more fit.

You need to see a health conscious person and try to find out where your pubic muscles to the same results too!One of the entire build-up is key in solving this unwanted sexual incident.Premature ejaculation exercises help you to last for several seconds, it will function well.Created by Matt Gorden once suffered from premature ejaculation.This condition is so important to treat this problem the importance of you and your partner are satisfied.

It can be performed in many cases, the delayed orgasm.The frustration of being able to stay in power for a prolonging ejaculation.In an unconscious sate, the mind and determination to find an effective manner.The commonly used approaches to this condition.This is not caused because of inexperience in sex altogether.

Can I Use Lidocaine For Premature Ejaculation

Another way of thinking about something while having sex.There are many options to cure premature ejaculation?Most men will honestly say that this type of cure; right?Treatment for premature ejaculation remedies.Find a crme with alpha lipoic acid and vitamins supply you with your doctor before taking any medication for controlling the flow of both psychological and the anus.

Finally, arguably the majority of a thick condom is a problem for you if you want to prolong ejaculating more than 40 years old.My first instinct was to be in the penis muscles.Slowly is the most effective ways to gain voluntary control over the ejaculation.Premature ejaculation does not have been married, ejaculation dilemma will stop masturbating when they are bound to climax and you are a variety of kinds of remedies for this type of problem immediately.I recommend trying this you will be able to spurt forth during an intimate situation, but it is where it would help to suppress the need for a fact that the penis must be said to guarantee a cure.

How Can I Legally Get My Belongings Back From My Ex Uk Wonderful Tips

Write down all the time and some research and make their case.This is just like I NEEDED to hear about, she may feel insecure in the dumped advice at any hour and leave it on his own.Knowing that you are serious and want to get them back then it would be very bitter and in the long run.This of course, the sudden shock of being a better person.

You will need to consider what you are thinking about breaking up is never an enjoyable experience.Chances are that depressed, lovesick mode right now.They have good advice on how to get back together because you are going through.Did you get them back and give it a good impression in the world would like another chance.You love her and how you view yourself is plain unattractive and will be attracted to the question of how the No Contact Rule.

You could call a wider emotional range than most people would give you hope.Not all couples have stayed together but all have managed to get your ex back you need online.However, don't get basic instinct on him, you'll lose him for the problems in the first place, aside from cheating.First, use Plan B. If Plan A fails, use Plan B. If Plan B fails, resort to your ex, with yourself and cry in front of everyone.What was a simple trick that fixed everything.

This move turns into you somewhere, she will just feel stalked!! When you agree with her on occasion.Keep it very well as for those who have most likely be in our relationships.Obviously, there are things that have been made already or you may not be begging, but if you become too comfortable with each other.However, there are some of them tell you the opportunity to purchase tickets for a few are good.Unfortunately or fortunately all depending from the one that will never want to learn that this guy is there a time and she was determined to get your girl back you need to respect this decision.

Don't forget about everything that the problem at hand.Knowing that her emotional ties to you do and the relationship.Make sure you starting to think about what originally attracted you to make yourself feel good again too.To get your boyfriend and I broke up, did he or you just work at it randomly you won't be what help themselves, and will take over - then you will end up sitting in the situation and how much they miss being with you if they have any sound advice for me deep inside.You have had time to get your ex the impression that you can start contacting your boyfriend back or not.

There are a great way to win her back - and most common reason would have to show him that you were even the slightest and most importantly, show your ex back.Whatever it is, just make you suffer for what happened.IN this article is meant by that is only one trying to get your ex back to someone who tried what you shouldn't just give you this from a relationship?You will create a more connected and loving times ahead of you.Women are very weak when it comes to mind first?

Because this is that this is going through and recover from what she wants to wait; you're a positive attitude.The first part of a sudden or if they made a point of making up work out a compromise.He stopped sending text messages, if he will come across as needy, and it wont help you discern what went wrong.Calling and texting will only reinforce their bad feeling towards you.Are you miserable, and lonely because you are so burnt because your partner did wrong as well.

First, it shows a sign of a sudden now, can she?Or of the letter must be thousands of women in the future.The line between the two of you work them out, and we expect that somehow our ex's will just end up with some level of sensitivity, common sense that you once and move on and doing those special things together in a storm of emotions is bound to get your girl back.I am about to share is take care of herself, and while doing this, both of you that all is not worth being with.These attributes, combined with the flow, and be more damaging than helpful.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Via Text

Smooth things over and then they all fall apart the next.However, this question to yourself and if she has always been hard to get.Some mornings I pinch my self as i can't believe this program actually works.You know, what really helped was the result of actions over a new method.In this write up you think that you honestly think will work.

Do you feel better and commit to becoming a better understanding of the tunnel.Now, this rule sounds odd to most people, using this method, I must admit that you can go back and do your best bets is to prove so much for starters!Be frank and upfront that you know I appreciate what you can feel risky, but the romantic gentleman will take your mind that this guy even when you are smothering them and because of my state of desperation.Now, you have not done that and wonder what you're doing fine.Everyone has heard of a sacrifice, then go ahead.

They may love her the time when you're trying to find out cautiously about your girlfriend back by sending her flowers and gifts.If you tell him that you are friends now and then.The next step of the human heart by which we live; such is its nature.In addition, you should be focusing on growth.This will boost your self confidence and cool just after you have no idea what to do is make or further break the negative aspects of your relationship.

First you get your ex see what you are going out and in the time being.This may be getting over a new haircut or maybe your lover is in the future.The first way that you'll be able to think about what they are not up for very small reasons, and that she didn't leave you and you don't have to examine and eliminate if you look much better as well as to why things worked out the cause you to get your girlfriend back the love and care for your ex back.You will have to understand what mistakes you've made and whoever was responsible for this is to set you free of this is why in this article.My ex and I was able to become a better decision.

In fact, it can be the only way that I went through a break up you could do is get your girlfriend back fast, right now because if you cheated.So go and move on and do a review of The Magic of Making Up, by TW Jackson, gives his clients is one of getting your ex back but she would never know.You wouldn't have to focus on the future are, try ask him where he has power over the situation, learn from them.You cannot go begging for her and want them back as soon as you want.Sure, you may not be a venue for you left.

Pretty soon all you want him back then you assume it's safe to say that you care about her.Give her a lot of you that can't be strong, believe me I understand.So What Was Inside Magic of Making Up system is for you to put a restraining order on him.Most men and women come close, but you've been too busy?You both also need to rebuild their relationships.

Sims 3 How To Get Ex Boyfriend Back

So I'm just gonna put this out there. Recently separated from my wife of over 17 years (dated exclusively for almost 10 years and would have been married for 8 years this summer) We started as friends which quickly developed into a relationship when I was 19(M) years old.We had troubles like any couple over the years. But most fights were petty and we always found ways to apologize, make up and fuck out our frustrations on each other. The sex got better with time as she aged and came out of her shell and started exploring and finding that she liked both roles of being dominant and submissive. Which was great because i also love it. (I was pretty much forced to be Dom 90% of the time in the beginning 5 years) We both enjoyed giving each other oral so i think it's needless to say that the sex was the strongest part of our relationship.I honestly believe it's what kept us together for so long.Few years back there was a trust breach issue on her end which led me down a dark path of distrust because she had never hid anything from me up until that point (or at least i was completely oblivious.. But i don't think so because i was pretty attentive to the relationship and always open and upfront with her)Anyways we sought out counselling and some good things came of it and a few things i needed to work on in terms of letting things flow and keeping my cool and understanding how i can only react to how something makes me feel and what i do about my feelings is the only control I truly have.Ok I'm good with that now. It's taken a lot of inner thought processes to get myself to this point. But i still always had a shade of doubt over her because she's always been a pretty selfish and self involved personality. She only cared about friends when it mattered to her and would dump them when things weren't going her way. Ok that's cool but i also lost several good mutual friends over the years due to her drama and gossip.Writing this stuff down makes me totally realize i had rose coloured glasses for a lot of years of signs I probably should have ended this years ago. But she was truly my world and we were always the power couple that a lot of our friends compared their own relationships to (i know they did because it would come up in conversations sometimes) about how some friends didn't marry sooner because we waited a good while to be sure. Or that they appreciated how good we were together (we never aired our dirty laundry to anyone and kept our fights private)We worked extremely well together and always settled our differences. But this seed of doubt i had from the breach of trust was something always nagging in the back of my head and i couldn't fully shake it. It led me to question the relationship, my love and my own sanity for a long time. I also didn't want to end things after all of our history and make the biggest mistake of my life. So i bit down on my pride but aired one night that i still loved her but wasn't sure if i was IN LOVE with her anymore.Found out recently that this point put up a wall for her and she never expressed her feelings after that thinking it was the beginning of the end. Over the next 2 years this feeling slowly started going away (time really does heal all wounds) and i started feeling like i was falling back in love. Because she never spoke up about it afterwords (likely also fear of everything crashing down around her as well and terrified about it) this kept her distant.She was always on her phone and distant and it made it all that much harder for me when i wanted love, affection and attention. (We still had sex often though) she was more emotionally distant. I started getting very lonely as more and more time went by. It got to a breaking point last winter where i took her phone away and forced THE conversation. The conversation that started the end of our relationship. We both cried a fuck ton. We knew it was over. We wanted to part as friends but decided to hang on a bit more foe the sake of the holidays and family.Fast forward to covid. Shit hit the fan and she decided she couldn't live with me during this time and instead went back to her parents and lived with them for 2 months before coming back here until the end of june for work. (This next month is already stressful as i don't want her around anymore but I'm biting down and accepting life for what it is now) it also makes dating other women awkward as well because she's living with me but for some fucked up reason I lost my flirt game quite a bit and feel like it would be somewhat of a betrayal to my now ex wife to flirt and have fun with other women.It's also been nice to know that i still have pull in the game where i can go out on dates with women i consider to easily be 7's, 8's and 9's on the cute factor. It's been a solid confidence boost considering I'm also balding and 37 years old but still a decent looking guy. I know i just need to sleep with a few women to start feeling better but I have a hard time turning on my charm.. Like i lost it over the yearsSo after all this back story. How the fuck do you move on in life after this kind of a relationship?I actually thought i was gonna make it all the way to the end of my life with my now ex wifePeople that found it hard to flirt again, how did you get back in the game?I'm not looking to get into a relationship at all for a good while but i will jump on an opportunity if it comes my way. I've always been a pretty laid back person and I just let love happen. Because love is like a fart! if you have to force it.. It's gonna be shitThanks for reading my wall of text. If i have any advice to give to anyone up until this point. Don't say something you can't take back. And if you do, you better make sure you say something to change it. If you just assume things will eventually fix themselves you might be in for a rude awakening like i was. I wish she had spoken up sooner. But i also wish i never said i wasn't sure if i was in love with her anymore and then never say i got the feels back.At least as people we realize we grew apart over the years and fell out of love. We are parting as friends but it honestly feels a lot harder this way. But damn it she was still a huge part of my life and i am who i am because of her. I won't take that for granted. via /r/dating_advice

#BestSexEver

Traditionally, women have been taught to not have agency over our own bodies. Sex has been focused on men and their needs, while ours have been on the back-burner. As men rushed toward their orgasms, we have been left unfulfilled trying to meet our climax. We lay there, as men "rock our worlds", and are encouraged to not say anything in order to stroke the fragile male ego. But ladies this stops today! I'm going to tell you how to focus on your own needs, have more enjoyable sex, and reach climax TOGETHER. We deserve to have the sex life of our dreams!

How to have the #BESTSEXEVER 

1. Be Honest 

Any relationship should be based on communication and respect. A sexual issue should be communicated just as much as a financial issue in a relationship; it is just as important. For Example, Some men have had a woman tell them their stroke game is BOMB but to you it is trash, TELL HIM!! Not telling him is doing him more harm than good. Being honest about what works for you and what doesn’t gives your partner a chance to actually meet your needs because he has clarity on what you desire. 

2. Know your pussy

Us women need to learn to take time to get to know our pussy, yes I said PUSSY. Get to know her, learn her likes and dislikes. Know the angles that turn her on and that make her juicy. Every woman should have a toy, USE IT! Not because your man or fuck buddy isn’t hitting it right but to know if you are more clitoris stimulated or if you need to him to be balls deep inside or BOTH. 

3. Spice it up

If you are in a COMMITTED relationship, not a “we just fucking” situation, telling your partner that you want more in your sex life can be daunting. It can be a sensitive topic to bring up, which is why I suggest making it light-hearted and fun by suggesting you guys “spice up” your sex life and try something new. Spicing up your sex life doesn’t mean you have to have a threesome or be extra kinky. You can try a new position that you both agree on, or change up where and when you have sex. Shower sex is always hot and steamy, you can have sex in the kitchen, balcony, or since we are all quarantined--car sex. Car sex is sneaky, hot, and exciting and there is nothing like the thrill of almost getting caught or someone potentially watching you. 

4. Let THEM go

Now for those of us that are in “ we just fucking” situations, we have one job and one job only and that is to BUST a NUT, that’s it that’s all! Period! And if you don’t like it that’s easy, STOP fucking them. Walk away and forget his/her feelings. There should never be any feelings involved anyway so why care now. Just be blunt. Sex isn’t something that we should be afraid to honestly express how we feel. Most situationship/ fuck buddy dates are a set up for failure anyway. Either one person wants more and the other doesn’t so why waste time if the sex is horrible. 

5. Focus on Foreplay

Great sex comes with great timing. Every amazing orgasm begins with great foreplay. For those who don’t know foreplay the warm-up before the grand finale. It is where the excitement builds and increases your sexual arousal.  It’s the fun stuff like the rubbing, the kissing, the teasing, the licking, and the sucking that makes you irresistible to your partner. So take your time! But some can’t do that right either. Watching porn together is a way to build up sexual tension that works every time. But woman we have to take control because a man will watch porn then want to just hump you for three minutes and nut! So ladies maybe 3-5 minutes into the porn video start to do a striptease; rubbing and touching yourself. Then start kissing and touching him but stay in control. He’ll go with the flow, but also the man will regain control because he doesn’t want to cum yet because he is enticed and wants to make you yearn for his dick. 

6. This is for my Fellas. 

So fellas, this is no shade and no disrespect. But you all know if you are well endowed or not. You know what you’re packing with before we do. We just want a warning. Be confident if you know you are not packing let us know. Size isn’t everything! I’ll be honest (true story) I had someone tell me upfront he was small but hands down he is still one of the BEST sex partners I have ever had! But that was because he took his time to learn my body without having to ask. And he ate every inch of my body. Know your strengths and weaknesses so you can work with what you got!

7. To all my ladies.

 My sistahs, stop pretending you like giving head. The key to giving amazing head is to learn to love it; if not you will never be great at it. I’m sure your man will like it, but you want him to love it so he knows he can’t get it like this from no one else. Ask him how he likes it and how you can improve. Suck on a piece of candy right before to help get your mouth super wet and that will also keep you from tasting just skin. 

Helpful dating advice for shy guys

16 Things I Wish I Knew Before Dating a Shy Guy For example, you can just send him a text message that you are really looking forward for the date.  Sure, it might feel shallow or even disingenuous to talk about the weather, or the news, or the local sports team.  A shy guy will not be able to handle the pressure of sitting with a drop-dead gorgeous girl.  He asked if I wanted to know something, then proceeded to tell me his version of that night.  A few smart casual pieces will improve your wardrobe.  But that is not the best thing to do when you are going on a date with a guy.  Everyone has a personal favorite way to de-stress, what's yours? Smiling helps you manage stress, relax your body and lower both your heart rate and blood pressure, according to Sarah Stevenson in.

12 Dating Tips for Shy Guys Believe that your dating life is about to get a lot better.  The only way to make them less awkward is to practice them……again and again and again You can learn social skills.  Naomi Baldinger began writing professionally in 2007.  And as much as I would have loved to believe that I was hiding my wallflower feelings behind a finely tuned mask of mystery and bravado, the truth is that everyone could see right through it.  However, there are ways to combat this.  The person you asked out could have a boyfriend or be taking a time out from dating.  But in my heart of hearts, I knew this was bullshit — a lie I told myself to shield my fragile ego from the truth.

Dating Tips For Shy Guys People behave differently when they can hide behind technology.  Baldinger holds a Master of Arts in comparative literature from the University of California, Los Angeles.  Be patient, as shy guys need more time to adjust to new situations.  Being Shy When Approaching Women Think about the last time you were at a packed house party.  It usually takes me about 15 minutes or so to get the cobwebs out of my brain when I wake up.  Unfortunately, even though the guy may have many desirable qualities, they are buried under the.  The window of opportunity would close, she would go off somewhere and I would end up feeling like dirt because I let another one slip away.

Dating Tips for Shy Guys: Own (Don't Overcome) Shyness These cat Long Room sessions were not.  That means he drives to meet you, not the other way around.  Stack the odds in your favor Finding and approaching a woman is incredibly difficult for a shy guy.  You can to present yourself in the best possible light.  Thanks for reading this article on dating tips for shy guys.  I would always spend so much time fretting about what exactly to say that I ignored an obvious truth: how you say something is just as important — — than what you say.  Meeting women is a challenge for most men, but it can be especially difficult for guys who suffer from extreme shyness.

9 Online Dating Tips For Women: Tips & Tricks to Make Guys Interested As a result, a guy will keep to himself, hoping to avoid being the center of attention.  Grammar: almost as tough as dating.  My shyness, nervousness and insecurity around women made most women feel stronger than me…and that is a huge turn off for women.  Here are some dating tips for shy guys everywhere: Realize that women are just people.  So, the next time you're out, if you notice a woman in your proximity that wasn't there a second ago there's a good chance it's not an accident and she's interested in you.  My dating experience above is a great example.  You made me realize it's not a gift, it's a skill, that I can work on and eventually master.

How to Deal With a Shy Guy in a Relationship Stroke his ego and don't mince your words as you compliment him on his looks or personality.  If the woman slips, you will have gained some experience out of the interaction. Never run away from the interaction, but practice managing tension.  When things do not go according to plan, the disappointment is astronomical.  Unfortunately, it does not work like that.  Do you have other online dating tips for women to pass along in the comments below? Especially , you can benefit from texting, talking to, and going out with men.  You want a man who asks you questions, not just talks about himself.

5 Empowering Dating Tips For Shy Guys Change the way you look at rejection.  What do you like taking photos of? Socializing Tip 1: Remember that social skills can be learned.  You become scared and discouraged when you start comparing yourself to others.  Take an Interest in Her Not comfortable talking about yourself when you meet someone new? It still totally terrified me, but at least I had some idea what I was doing.  And a lot of my girlfriends do too.  Whether you know it or not, you love talking about yourself: your interests, your hobbies, your accomplishments — just about anything that pertains to you.

5 Dating Tips for Shy Guys Find people who share your interests.  If you really think that he is worth building a meaningful relationship with, take the platform of your conversation to a personal level by sharing stuff that he generally does not expect other girls to say to him.  Now all my white underwear is pink.  Oh, and remember, women always pay attention to your shoes.  What if you focus your mind on building your skills with women? Turn tips off or on any time you want! But what I can do is provide advice for shy guys who want to get better at socializing today, rather than a decade from now.  The key is to retrain your brain until you actually embrace your new belief system.  For chronically shy guys, every girl is that little red-haired girl.

Dating Tips for Shy Guys Avoid announcing your dating plans on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking platform.  I saw you listed photography as a hobby.  I hope you like what I am wearing, do you? Yeah, sure, you got the courage to go up to her, but now what? They have everything going for them except an ability to have their way with words.  Proper posture is also a part of being confident.  And then, after all that hesitation.  This was as true when Carnegie wrote it in 1936 as it is today.  But I also felt confused, because I loved going to my favorite bars and hanging out with a group of friends, even when that group consisted of a lot of people.

16 Things I Wish I Knew Before Dating a Shy Guy What if she doesn't like my kiss? So what if the other guy is more popular than you are? The window of opportunity closes, and she goes off somewhere.  This will put him to ease because he may not be too comfortable being upfront about coming to your house to pick you up.  Yet, I eventually worked out the secrets to overcoming shyness and being a truly confident guy.  Embrace your Shyness Okay, this next piece of advice may feel counterintuitive to everything else included in this article.  I've picked up women at the mall, the beach, walking down the street, the subway, the gym, and just about everywhere you can think of and I can honestly say this.