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ectonurites · 3 years

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do u have any thoughts on the whole “tim is zapped to time prison” storyline? bc i feel like it could have been pretty interesting and a good way to bring back young justice/tim’s memories more immediately if it hadn’t been such a blatant attempt to just get tim out of storylines bc they had no ideas for his character

sorry lol u don’t have to respond i just kind of wish people talked about this storyline more? and the fact that tim lowkey became one of the only people in dc with knowledge of the other timelines (i think so at least) and nobody really addressed it?? like going into the next phase where people learn about other timelines after death metal.... tim should already know some of this stuff right?

YES YES YES OKAY LETS TALK ABOUT THIS this got incredibly long because I just have a lot to say (and i included screenshots) and i prob got a little off topic but. but lets get started anyways:

i haven’t read that particular storyline in a few months so i might be missing/misremembering some details here, but that whole ‘time prison + future tim’ thing was like. a really really interesting concept and the implications/impacts it has are a big part of why i liked tynion’s detective comics run as much as i did even with it’s flaws in characterization (such as treating tim like he was jimmy neutron boy genius and making steph..... be all ready to quit/breakaway from the team like that. the steph quitting characterization really started i think in batgirl convergence and unfortunately has haunted her since, even though pre reboot never giving up was like...... one of her defining traits. dc i hate you sometimes)

i think that one of the biggest things that bothers me about the situation is how little we saw most of the other characters in the batfamily grieve (aside from steph and some with bruce, but again the way steph was portrayed just... hhhhhh. it very much reduced her to ‘tims girlfriend’ more than i’d have preferred) but otherwise like...as far as I can remember there was maybe one line in that monsters crossover thing where dick mentioned tim was gone, jason had a single line about avoiding the funeral in rhato, i dont think they showed any reaction from babs at all until after he was back, and the most for damian I recall is at the end of the 2014 teen titans run (#24) where he looks at... a case with the old red robin uniform Tim wasn’t even wearing anymore when he died? and that just bugs me. Instead of getting to see the actual funeral we get one flashback to it way after the fact once Bruce already knows Tim’s not actually dead

But at the time when they all DID think he was dead? the closest thing we see was in that same teen titans issue (#24) there’s a memorial-type ‘sharing stories’ thing after the funeral with tim’s titans friends but.... we don’t see something like that with his family. tim is a major presence in these peoples’ lives, they are his family, when he gets sent into time prison its even SAID how loved he apparently is

its just... idk. they all thought he was dead, and if they had put more emphasis on showing not just telling how that effected EVERYONE (not just steph) in the batfam, it might have felt a lot less like they were just putting tim away until there was a story idea for him. (like obviously I know they can’t make everyone’s stories revolve around Tim, but I’d have way preferred a detective comics issue of the funeral/memorial with the family than having there only be a teen titans one, I think it would have... held more relevance & meaning... but instead they just went right into that monster crossover story instead of lingering on this)

but then the Tim story itself once it does pick up way later, with titans tomorrow/future tim coming along having that whole “tell conner you’re sorry” “who’s conner?” exchange with current tim... that opens up A LOT of things to think about, and I think was pretty interestingly done if i’m remembering correctly. future tim recognizes the timelines are different, and ya know goes off to try to change things further ("whaddaya got there?” “a gun to kill batwoman” “NO!!!!”), theres lots of fighting etc etc the good guys win as we expect, but once that’s all settled tim’s left there with this whole. thought process

which ya know is the big indicator there’s weird timeline/reality fuckery going on (or also the read here can be that tim and kon are so connected across all space and time that their bond can transcend anything even timelines and realities and reboots... “and they were soulmates” “oh my god they were soulmates”)

ANYWAYS lets not forget that tim isnt the only one who learns about this other timeline stuff during this whole situation!

Brother Eye has records of future tim’s timeline, and cass & steph see who they used to be! and as soon as steph finds out ‘holy shit i was ROBIN and BATGIRL?’ she also desperately wants to know more! which then a bit later leads into young justice 2019 where instead of going off to college like they told Bruce they were gonna, Steph and Tim go get the help of Zatanna to see what might be going on in their brains with these timelines and weird feelings (as we see in flashback form in yj 2019 #5)

and HOO BOY DOES SHE FIND THINGS! she gets in there and finds out that oh yeah, their brains had very much so been tampered with, and with her magic she undoes some of it, by unlocking memories, and Tim finally remembers Conner! (also in case u were wondering, that panel is specifically a callback to this one from yj 1998 #17 when Cissie quit the team)

one thing that I think is weird/interesting/idk if it gets... properly addressed even, was that Zatanna also poked around Steph’s brain too and she didn’t remember everything? Might have something to do even with how Tim had been in time prison, might have taken less work from Z to open things up because of that? Who knows

additionally i wanna call attention to how he said “That entire chapter of my life” which... leading into my next point a bit... strongly leads me to believe even though he’s remembering some things he definitely does not have ALL of his memories back (because theres a lot more than just the young justice ‘chapter’ of tim’s life that was drastically changed by the new 52 & rebirth)

BUT moving on, i wanna bring up this part from later on (after they figured out that there was a crisis that caused things in the world to change, which is why their memories/brains were messed with) in issue #16

so yeah, I think it’s indicated even though Zatanna brought back some memories and opened up his brain a bit, there’s still many holes, and some things seem more like dreams rather than memories and he’s probably unable to tell which are which on his own to some extent. (also for reference the real thing that Tim thought was just a dream is... likely yj 1998 issue #1)

So based on the things i’ve brought up here (which are the things I remember off the top of my head, I could easily be accidentally leaving shit out LMAO i haven’t fully read through any of these books in at least 3 or more months now) I think it’s safe to assume that Tim definitely has a head start on getting back his memories before Death Metal happens, but that it was by no means a complete thing. So the after effects of Death Metal are probably just gonna... be a little less drastic for him vs most other people because it was already happening, but it’ll be kinda filling in the remaining gaps?

And like you said he is absolutely one of the few people that already knew about about the timelines/the fact that these crises have happened and changed things, but pretty much all the other young justice characters are also aware that there was meddling in the timeline/that multiple timelines and alternate universes like this exist since they were all together as a group when it got explained (in like. yj 2019 #15 i believe is where most of the explaining happens) (and cass as well is aware of things to some extent because of her and steph’s interaction with Brother Eye) but the difference is that Zatanna didn’t go into everyone’s brains, so they aren’t dealing with the same memory things as Tim (and possibly Steph? because again Z DID go in her brain, she just wasn’t able to unlock all the same things as she did with Tim)

but yeah in general i SO wish this was explored more, both in canon and in fanworks (fanworks tho... that can still happen >:3c). Memories hazily coming in for Tim while Kon and Bart are able to confirm or deny things, him dealing with conflicting memories and feelings about his past as they trickle in... like I think we’ll start to see these types of things moving forward across a lot of titles with Infinite Frontier (i BELIEVE dont quote me on this but I BELIEVE the person writing Damian’s upcoming solo had mentioned in an interview that the memories coming back of the other timeline aren’t going to be an all at once thing but will be more gradual for most characters) but the fact that it theoretically had already been happening for Tim for MONTHS and we only got that one crumb indicating it in #16 of it instead of any actual exploration makes me SAAAAAAD

#Anonymous #tim drake #dc comics #meta #sam talks about tim too much #if anyone has diff thoughts interpretations im always down to discuss!#this sent me down a rabbit hole thats why i didnt answer last night it was Suddenly 1am djsjsjs #also sorry no issue numbers on the detective comics stuff but those r screenshots i already had #from my readthrough a while back or google images. so i didnt go check

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

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same anon (guess i’ll call myself kingdom anon) — and to be fair im also the same as u and can’t really watch competition shows. that’s why i only watched their youtube clips at the beginning. only watching it now because i need something to pass time. (though if u have any recs pls do share :)) but like i’m not paying extreme attention to it lol

i skip skz’s performances just because i am really not a fan. its v cringe for me…. whoever told them that they’re good rappers should maybe possibly be fired. but music is subjective so to each their own. i’m not going to subject myself to it. one thing that i am curious about is if skz genuinely believes that they did really well? it is a scripted show so i’m not too sure. but i really wished fan votes weren’t such a large percentage…. this was an opportunity for tbz/skz/atz to actually receive critical feedback and grow considering they’re younger groups (as opposed to btob/ikon who already established themselves). like for sf9, we saw their immediate growth from round 1 to round 2. but for skz, they’re stagnant.

on a more general topic, there’s something v unique w having large fan bases. recently i saw an article that skz’s new album reached 900,000+ preorder sales. but they didn’t actually rank on korean music charts. and in a way, the sales tell jyp that they’re successful because of the money they’re bringing in. and they’ll continue doing the same thing because it works. but also they’re relatively unknown by korea’s gp when u compare them to jyp’s other male groups (2pm, god, got7). i don’t know where i’m going w this lol sorry just finished a final. but this show was overall disappointing for me. and i d k if i’ll continue watching the episodes

you may be the only person left watching kingdom at this stage so i think the moniker is fitting!

obviously you've been around and reading my reviews so you know my thoughts on the show on the whole, but i don't think i ever really talked about what i thought skz themselves think about the outcome, which is.....i have to assume that they knew the results were gonna be skewed. i think maybe after that first ranking there could have been feasible deniability for them, but as the numbers kept coming in so drastically skewed, especially when mnet made the bizarre choice to show the individual rankings for expert/self/fan judging separately, there's no way they didn't clue in to what was going on. the general consensus from the skz fans i know is that even the fans knew this was not their best showing, and if i know anything about artists i know that we're never satisfied with anything deep down, even if its our best received work.

in terms of seeing if there was any payoff/growth post show, only three of the six groups have had comebacks so i cant really make any totally accurate judgements, but i can say that yea, overall there has been growth. we saw sf9's growth the most obviously during the show and then they cranked it up to 12 for teardrop and it paid off for them (they broke their own sales record, good job boys). we also know that even though the mv for teardrop was filmed pre-kingdom, they revamped the entire choreo after the show in order to capitalize on the feedback from move, and honestly it's the best direction for them to go in. not sure when their next comeback is gonna be because youngbin and inseong are going to have to enlist soon and because of the large age gap its probably gonna be a while before they're all together again. tbz i think has shown a pretty big improvement, at least with thrill ride (who's to say about other comebacks). they've ditched any kind of lore and although i don't like the song i think the majority of the styling is quite good and it's a good genre break for them.

as for skz, i do actually think there's been one or two lessons learned. thunderous isn't as good a song as god's menu or back door, but it's on par with their discography and consistency is key. i do however, think the choreography is excellent and the styling + general concept is interesting, even if a bit conservative. personally i think they should have leaned way more into the graphic elements of the mv, because the shapes and silhouettes of the clothing are good, but they're so monotone that it ends up being a little boring. if everything else was the same but there was more use of patterns and colour it'd pop a lot better. it's also possible that we may see that in the next stages they do, since they've only done three or four so far. i'm taking it as a win that the styling is at least related to the concept. as for the rest of them; the ateez comeback isn't for another two weeks and honestly i have NO clue what to expect, btob is tomorrow and it's gonna be fine obvs, and i dont think ikon is gonna have a comeback any time soon since bobby is apparently getting married next month (plus the baby), not that i was expecting kingdom to have any effect on them lol.

i think its reasonable that jyp front skz more as an international group, especially since they had that with got7 and then cocked it up so badly. i think we're definitely going to be seeing some interesting (if you like that kind of thing) numbers discrepancies in the next few years because of how different groups are being marketed and it's going to have some kind of effect on korean and international charts. personally i have exactly zero interest in charts and numbers and would prefer them to stay far away from me because it's just another way the music industry has been gamified by capitalism.

honestly if the show's not doing it for you than don't bother. it would have been a lot better if there were more group interactions; the sports/isac episode is cute and fun, but really the highlights of the rest of them are the stages.

#why did this response get so long im so sorry. why do i talk so much #kingdom #kingdom asks #if youre looking for time passing content sdc is great for that if you like dance #both sdc3 and sdc4 are on youtube in full with full eng subs (sdc4 is still airing but theyre putting up fully subbed episodes every week)#i shit you not the episodes are between 2.5 to 3.5 hours long on average and there is at least 12 of them #plus the finale of sdc3 is like 7 hours. (it was a livestream which is why it was so long and theres big chunks you can skip)#if you want something more music based superband is 20/10 always recommend #no idea where the full episodes are but most of the performances are on youtube and those are the best parts #the devil judge is really good #so is the uncanny counter #sometimes when im feeling especially shitty i watch all three john wick movies in a row #honestly i spend most of my time 1) looking up recipes 2) actually cooking or 3) research/writing for asks #the amount of film/tv content i have consumed in the last year has decreased quite significantly #so im kinda terrible with recommendations unless youre looking for something specific #kpop questions #text #answers

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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years

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Pan? Polysexual sounds better now

Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.

I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,

I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.

Because I really can't stick to just one label...

Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.

I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.

I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.

I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.

But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"

I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.

And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.

And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.

And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.

But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.

So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.

I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.

I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?

Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?

Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?

Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.

Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?

And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.

I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.

I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.

It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫

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strongsassysexysloane · 4 years

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You and Me

https://jpncis09.tumblr.com/post/190725282440/you-and-me please read this before continuing..

My muse is Jack Sloane and my crush. . .

. . .

You almost jumped out of your skin when theres a knock at the door and then Jack hangs up the phone. "It's unlocked." You shout.

"Youre as bad as Gibbs." She complains walking in and closing the door behind her.

"Hello to you too." You put a few fries in your mouth and fold you legs in front of you, leaning back into the couch. She sits down across from you in the arm chair.

"I don't care that youre bi, I'm bi." It took a few silent minutes of you refusing to talk for her to finally speak.

You nod, reaching for some more fries and putting them in your mouth. Not ready to give anything to her conversation just yet. That and you feel like youre about to cry from everything that has just happened in the past two hours. Why does everything have to happen at the wrong times.

"You gonna just eat or say something?" She seemed flustered. Fidgetting with her hands, kept crossing and uncrossing her legs. If this was any other scenario you'd find it quite funny and adorable. Ok, you do find it adorable.

"Eat. Because being Bi doesnt explain your behaviour." Your mouth twitches and you curse to yourself. Jack saw it and she knows the game you're playing or hiding from.

"Elsa guessed, didnt she." Jack leans forward and grabs a fry from your dinner and you raise a brow at her challenge. She knows your rules about not stealing your food. The first time she stole something from your plate during a lunch break you swatted her hand away with a squawk about 'Joey doesnt share food!' and she laughed. But you noticed the sneak attacks she made while she thought you werent looking and one day you just ended up ordering an extra side of fries and she laughed.

But the mention now of Elsa's name brings you back to the harsh reality at hand. Apparently that name now hurts to hear out loud, you feel guilty and in an unfamiliar territory. "Hey, you ok?" Jack moves to get up but you hold out your hand.

"Stay." Jack sits back down but with a very concerned look on her face. You've never said no to Jack's contact before. "Jack, why did you come tonight?"

"Because the team was going out for-"

"Don't." You know she's avoiding the question, trying to play it off. "I'm a psych major remember." She huffs out a laugh at that. You know all the tricks, espeically hers and that avoidence was just sad.

"Because I needed to see you. Apologise. Clearly I hurt you." She waves to the tear rolling down your cheek. You quickly wipe it away.

"Yes you had a part in that but it's not what you think." You grab the burger and take a large bite out of it. Not ashamed of the way you eat in front of Jack. Hell, she's a more messy eater than you are. Plus your emotions are about to let loose and having a mouth full of food seemed like a good choice.

"Want to talk about it or eat it away?" She tries so hard to lift the mood and it almost works.

"Eat sounds good. Not sure I can talk right now." You swallow the last bit of burger and grab a few fries.

"I'll be here when you can." She gets up. "Sorry to ruin your night, I'll see you monday." She grabs her handbag and car keys.

"Why didn't you go to Gibbs place after the bar tonight?" You stop her in her tracks half way to the front door.

Jack turns. "Needed to see you." A sad smile on her face. She leans against the doorway facing you.

"Why?" You take another bite of your burger, keeping your eyes on her.

"Thought you didn't want to talk?" She pushes off the doorway and walks towards you, stopping short of the couch, still giving you space.

"I dont." You swallow. "Doesn't mean you can't." You munch on a few more fries.

"Think it's much of the same conversation." She shrugs. She's trying so hard to hold onto her resolve but you can see it cracking and you feel your walls starting to slip away.

"Jack I think Elsa broke up with me." Your wall crumbles and you burst into tears, you aren't sure where they come from, its mostly confusion youre feeling. You bury your face in your hands and don't see Jack scramble to your side but you feel her when her arms wrap around you and tug you close.

"I'm sorry, im so sorry." She buries her face in your hair and your gut churns. You shouldn't feel like this just after a break up but having Jack so close. It feels right and you think back to what Elsa said. The tears start to fade and you calm down your breathing down. "Was it because of me?" You can't speak, you don't want to talk about it, you aren't ready to admit about it because you don't know what it is. But your head betrays you and you nod. "Im sorry." You think you can hear Jack start to cry and you pull back to see tears run down her cheeks.

"Hey." God, seeing Jack cry breaks you. "None of that." You wipe her tears away and she smiles at you.

"You can cry but I cant?" She reaches up to wipe the stained tears on your cheeks.

"Seeing you cry, it hurts." You swallow, nervous. Feelings bubbling to the surface, feelings you were so unsure of. The moment you saw Jack on your first day at HQ you felt butterflies. Everytime she smiled and when she laughed, you couldn't help but smile. You'd never felt these feelings before for anyone. Mostly confused you moved these feelings aside to get on with your job and didn't let yourself think about it. Just enjoyed the friendship that started to form and then you found Elsa and the feelings were buried so deep that it wasn't until tonight that they reappeared. That and she clearly had a thing for Gibbs.

"Hurts me to see you cry and think I caused it." She disentangles herself from you, but you reach out just in time to catch her hand before she can get more space. Maybe Elsa was right and you hate yourself for it. For leading her on without knowing you were.

"Can't help who we fall for." You see shock cross Jack's face and you laugh. "Once Elsa pointed it out, the feelings I buried so deep resurfaced. Thought you were into Gibbs." She squeezes your hand.

"I mean. That ship sailed long ago. We are good friends now." Jack smiles, you can see a memory flash through her eyes.

"Is it over?" You tug at Jacks hand, pulling her back to the present. "I can't be in the middle, espeically if it invloves Gibbs."

Jack shifts, you are trying to read her but somethings changed. She drops your hand and you try to get it back but she leans forward and you suddenly realise what she's doing. She's above you, arms on either side of you, resting on the arm of the couch behind you.

"You sure?" You just nod and her lips meet yours.The world goes silent and all you can feel and hear is her. Jack has you on your back on the couch and she's above you, letting her body weight rest on you and you love it. Wrapping your arm around her waist, making sure she doesnt move and you moan into the kiss. The kiss turns into several and you can't get enough of each other.

You both have to catch your breath. Jack tries to crawl off you but your arms are locked around her waist.

"At least let me roll onto my side." She laughs and you loosen your grip so she can roll onto the couch beside you and youre so thankful for the width of the couch you bought. Perfect amount of room for the both of you but you still tug her close. "For a person who ju-"

You kiss her again, and stopping her from talking is now one of your favourite things. "Someone had eyes for someone else until they saw I had a -" You go quiet and move to sit up. All the emotions from tonight are getting too much. You were distracted by having her so close that you pushed everything out of your mind.

"I'm such a horrible person." Leaning your elbows on your knees and burying your face in your hands.

"Hey." Jack wriggles around on the couch so she can tug at your arm so you look down at her and seeing her face makes you smile, its just that simple. "She gave you an out. She saw it, you aren't cheating, we aren't going to do anything else tonight. If that makes you feel any better." Jack laughs softly.

"Slightly." You lean down and aim to kiss Jack on the forehead but get her lips instead and smile. "Cheeky."

"Always." Jack says against your lips and tangles her hand in your hair. "So much for discussing later." You both laugh at that.

"You bring it out of me. Move back." You nudge against her cheek and roll back down beside her on the couch. You nuzzle your face into the crook of Jack's neck and she wraps her arms around you, bringing you in close. You're surrounded by her and you take a deep breath.

"Thank you for talking to me. Sorry I -" She stops and you laugh into her neck. "Shut up." You kiss her neck and she hums.

"Think I found a spot." You put another open mouth kiss in the same spot and suck slightly.

"If you don't want to do anything further tonight, I suggest you stop that now." She tightens her hold of you and you leave another kiss there before turning and inhaling her hair.

"You smell so good." You mumble.

"So do you." Jack kisses the side of your head and you two settle into silence. It's not long before you feel Jack's hold of you loosen and you look up and see Jack's fallen asleep.

You wriggle slowly, not to wake her and move up the couch to get your head ontop of a pillow and pull Jack into your chest. She snuggles into your side but doesn't wake up. You think back over the night and how drastically its changed. You can't help but feel bad for Elsa but she gave you something so special, you just hope it doesn't fall to pieces. Thinking it might be a good idea to go see Elsa at work tomorrow instead of calling her. It's such a strange situation but then again nothing in your life has ever been simple or worked out the way you planned.

"Your heart is racing, hon. Just breath." Jack rises up and you look up at her. You smile at the nickname, so endearing, like you've been together for years not minutes.

"Sorry, but now that you're awake, let me get up and switch off the lights." Jack nods and rolls onto her side so you slip free and do what you said.

"No bed tonight?" Jack smirks are you slid back down onto the couch, tugging a blanket from the back of the couch and placing it over you both. You hold out your arm and she snuggles back into your chest and wrap your arm around her, running your fingers up and down her arm.

"You and my bed, now that's destined for many late night fantasies." You chuckle as Jack raised her head back up, looking at you with a raised brow. "A girl can dream." Jack wriggles up the couch and kisses you, long and slow. "Few on this couch too." You feel Jack laugh against your chest as she settles back down beside you.

"And I thought I was the naughty one." She runs her fingers up your side and you flinch. "Ticklish are we."

"If you continue, I will kick you out." Jack's hand stops and tucks back under your butt. "Smooth." You drop a kiss to her head and settle back down, trying to will on sleep but fully aware of the woman attached to your side.

. . . .

I know its not the best but my imagination is on fire.

#jack sloane #jack sloane x reader #ncis #f/f

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shinwonsaysomething · 5 years

Text

What Your Heart Tells You - Lee Hwitaek and Yang Hongseok (University!AU)

Request by Anon: Hello my love, you know who this is🤣 Are you in the mood to write something Hui x Reader x Hongseok?? It can be in any form tbh, friends, lovers, classmates, i dont mind lol i just need my dose of Hui and Hongseok tbh🤣❤️ -E🍂

Summary: You work on a project with fuckboy!Hongseok where you had a crush on when you were younger. Your bestfriend!Hwitaek doesn’t like him at all. He doesn’t know you are in secretly in love with him. In fact you don’t even know it.

In this story you will make your own choice when it comes to genre and ending. If you choose Hongseok’s ending it will be Fluff. If you choose Hwitaek’s ending it will be angst and fluff

(Disclaimer: The idea of multiple endings has been done before, I forgot the fanfiction I read that did something like it too, but it was good haha)

"Y/N? Where the hell are you?" you hear Hwitaek scream through the phone. "I am so sorry. Please distract the professor for one more day. I will be on time tomorrow. I promise!" you say before hanging up. You run towards the school entrance. When you finally made your way up the stairs you sneak into the classroom. You see that your best friend Hwitaek is still busy talking with your professor, probably about some bullshit question he already knows the answer to. You sign to Hwitaek that you are here. He sees you, thanks the professor and walks back to his seat next to you.

"Why are you late this time?" Hwitaek whispers to you as the lecture starts. "I overslept today, because I was working on a project with Hongseok last night" you answer. "That is a new one" he says and chuckles. "Wait, isn't that Hongseok guy the one from Class 2B? The one you had a crush on in elementary school?". "Jup, that is the Hongseok I was talking about. But I promise you I will be on time tomorrow". "Good, I can't save your ass everyday".

After the lecture you and Hwitaek decide to get some lunch at your favorite café. It is a café you guys went to ever since you had your own money to pay for drinks. Today it was your day to treat Hwitaek, also because you had to make up to him. "So.. How is this Hongseok guy?" Hwitaek says and stirs in his coffee. He doesn't look at you, which strikes you at odd behavior for Hwitaek. You have been friends for so long. Hwitaek always looks at you when asking questions, unless he is uncomfortable or insecure. You still answer the question. "I don't know man. I am kinda confused actually. All the girls from 2C and 2B told me Hongseok was bad news and stuff. But I don't know what they mean. He is really sweet and kind while working on the project. He didn't make a move whats however, so I don't know why they call him the project player".

"I heard from Carly from 2D that that is also one of his tactics" Hwitaek says and takes a bite from his sandwich. "What is?" you say confused. "He pretends to be the nice guy and doesn't make a move in the first 2 weeks of the project, so you think you are different and than he will try to get in your pants the very next day" Hwitaek says with his mouth full. "Do you really think I would sleep with him after 2 weeks of knowing him?". "Hey you know I trust you on that, but I don't trust Hongseok at all. I don't like him to break your heart or anything". "That is sweet Hwitaek, but I promise you I am not going to fall for his tricks". Hwitaek smiles at you and puts his hand on yours. "I know, but if he does anything you don't like just tell him you have a boyfriend and you will be fine". "And who is that suppose to be?" you say laughing. You take a sip of your tea. "I am" Hwitaek says dramatically and as extra as he can be. You laugh even though his comment made your heart jump. To him it could just be a joke, but to you it is different. Recently, you have been feeling a bit more strange around him. His smile makes you blush more often and his compliments mean more to you than they did before. You try to ignore it and just enjoy your lunch with him.

"Did you bring your books?" Hongseok says and takes your coat. Tonight you are working on the project at Hongseok's home. You were feeling more nervous than the past days. In a way you don't want the rumours about Hongseok to be true. You liked him all the way through elementary school. Back then you could only dream of the fact that you would work on a project with Hongseok together. Your feelings are a lot less strong since you know he changed a lot when he entered university. But still there is so much to Hongseok that is appealing to you.

"Yes I got them in my bag. Shall we start on the project?" you say as professional as possible. Hongseok laughs at you. "What's up? You seem so tense?" he says as he leads you the way to the living room. "I- I just feel nervous because I never have been to a project partners house before" you lie. "It is kinda the same as going to a friend though, just a bit more boring because of all the studying" He says. You laugh. "Yeah you are right".

You work on the project and again Hongseok isn't making any move. It makes you think about what Hwitaek said at lunch. For some reason that makes you feel more nervous. Is it because he is not attracted to you or is it one of is tactics or are all the rumors just not true. "Okay, let's take a break. I can see something is up. What is it?" This eyes are on yours now and it makes you blush. Before you know you say "I just can't read you". Hongseok smiles, but looks confused. "What do you mean?". "Well, you know with all the rumors around you and stuff. I know you tend to sleep around and I have a constant feeling that you aren't trying anything on me because you don't find me attractive" you say and look down, instantly regretting everything you just said. Hongseok is quite for awhile. "The rumors are true" he says after awhile. You look disappointed and still don't look at him. He lifts up your chin. "But I didn't make a move on you, not because I don't find you attractive, but because I like you..." he says calmly. "I liked you for awhile and I knew from some girls that you liked me too. I am scared you would think bad about me like all the others. It kinda hurts knowing you already did" he looks down at his book. "No, o my god, that is not what I meant... I-I". Hongseok chuckles softly and scratches the back of his head. "It is okay, I deserved it. I just hope I can change your way of thinking of me".

Now is the time to choose one of the two members. Scroll down to the member you have chosen to continue the story. Both endings will be completely different (even when it comes to genre).

You chose HONGSEOK

"It is okay, I deserved it. I just hope I can change your way of thinking of me" Hongseok says. "I mean, I really like you... I want to take you out on a date. Not to get you into bed, but because I think you are awesome and sweet". You blush because of his words. "But I understand that you can't trust me after all the stuff I have done".

You turn to him. "Listen, I like you too, but you are right I have to learn to trust you first. So hear me out" you start. Hongseok looks up surprised by your answer. "Let's finish the project first. That means we have to work a whole month without making moves. Since we work together we will have enough time to get to know each other. If we still like each other after a month than I will gladly go out with you". Hongseok smiles and says "Is that all?". You laugh and continue "Nope. If you want me to trust you, you need to stop sleeping around and don't try your moves on other girls". Hongseok agrees. "I am serious about this, I am not joking around or trying anything. I am thankful you are giving me a chance". "We will see where this goes" you say and smile at him.

You never thought Hongseok would really take it serious. New rumors were going through the second year classes. Most were focused on Hongseok's drastic change of behavior. Some were about Hongseok having a girlfriend. Some were even about you. People noticed you were spending more time together. You got to know a whole new side of Hongseok as well. You really get to know someone when you hear them laugh so uncontrollably that their "real laugh" comes out. That unashamed laughed. You spend nights working on the project, but also on getting to know one another.

Hongseok is really sweet and kind. He also kept his promise of not sleeping round and trying anything on other girls. The only thing that was hard on him was not trying anything on you, because he got to like you more and more. It was also difficult for you. You told Hwitaek all about the deal with Hongseok. He said that you really have to commit to your own rules, because otherwise he might take advantage of you. If you kissed him before the project was over, it would be more easy for him to go back to sleeping around, because he always gets what he wants.

This was the most difficult. You fell in love with Hongseok. The feelings from elementary school came back, but stronger. Luckily it was almost the end of the project. Hwitaek still doesn't trust Hongseok completely, but he trusts you on your decisions and will support it if you guys end up together.

Monday arrives. It has been 4 days since the deadline of the project. You and Hongseok meet up at your house. The professor told you your grade will be up online today. You two want to check it out together. You sit behind your laptop on the couch, constantly refreshing the page. "He said it will be up right now... where is it then...?" you say frustrated. Hongseok sits close to you and rests his head on your shoulder to watch the screen as well. "It might take awhile, your wifi was bad last week too, remember?". It is quiet for a while. Hongseok breaks the silent. "I- I. uhm I was wondering i-".

"There it is!" you interrupt him. "O my god ! I didn't think would get such a high grade!?" you say surprise. You and Hongseok jump off the couch and hug. he picks you up and swings you around. "Yes! We did it!". He puts you down, but he doesn't let go. "I- I wanted to say". Again you interrupt Hongseok, but this time with a kiss. Hongseok was so shocked that he didn't kiss you back. You pull away and look at him. "I trust you. Can you trust me too?" you say and look at him. "Finally, yes! I trust you" he says. You kiss him again and he kisses back. "Do you want to go out with me, Y/N?". "Yes, let's go".

You chose HWITAEK

"It is okay, I deserved it. I just hope I can change your way of thinking of me" Hongseok says and moves closer. You turn to him. "Listen, I liked you a lot, but this doesn't feel right". "I can make you feel right though". Before you can say anything else he kisses you. You don't kiss back because you are so shocked. You pull him away. Hongseok looks annoyed. "What is it?". "I just told ou! Why did you kiss me?". "Seriously why do you gotta be so difficult?".

"Hongseok, all you want is to get into girl's pants. And I don't want to be one of them". Hongseok doesn't listen and tries to kiss you again. "Hongseok! I have a boyfriend stop!". Hongseok laughs hard at you as if you just told a joke. "You? Yeah sure, love. That friend of yours probably told you to say that didn't he". Offended and angry you stand up. "All guys are like this even that stupid friend of yours". "He is nothing like you!" you say angrily. "You will see, he will tell you he likes you too". You don't want to hear any more. "I am going. Good luck with the project" you hiss at him. You storm off. At the ride home all you can do is cry. You feel foolish and dumb that you believed his words. "but I like you" his words are still in your head. You wanted to hear those words so badly, but knowing it was all an act makes your heart ache.

At some point, you can't even see where you are going because of your tears. You have to sit and calm yourself down. You want to call up Hwitaek. He is the only one that can calm you down right now. Yet you still don't call him. You feel to ashamed and afraid. Your feelings are all over the place. "He will tell you he likes you too". No Hwitaek doesn't like me that way. This night with Hongseok made your feelings for Hwitaek more clear. Once he kissed you didn't feel good. You walk the rest of the way home. You turn off your phone and go to sleep.

10 pm. You are 2 hours late for the lecture. You promised Hwitaek to be on time today. You stay in bed and turn on your phone. 5 missed calls and more than 40 messages for Hwitaek. All say you need to call him back. You ignore it, because you are really afraid to tell Hwitaek what happened and because of the feelings you have towards him.

A loud bang on your front door wakes you up. You quickly fix your sleepy face and run down stairs to answer the door. "Hello who is th-" you say as you open the door. It is Hwitaek out of breath. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH" he yells at you. He hugs you tight and you feel him shake. "I thought something terrible had happened". Your tears come up again and you let them all go. "I am so sorry..." you say sobbing. "What happened, please tell me".

You tell him about last night and what happened. "That dick... He totally deserved the slap in the face I gave him today" Hwitaek hisses to himself "You hit him?" you ask. "Yeah, he was spreading rumors that you were all over him last night. I know you and you won't do that so I figured he was spreading lies". "Thank you" you say. Hwitaek sits next to you on the couch and puts his hand on yours. You pull your hand away. "I am so sorry". "Did something else happen you didn't tell me?". He always knows this stuff, so annoying. "He told me even you were going to say you like me to get into my pants. I know he is lying, but still I don't know what trust anymore". Hwitaek grabs your hand and turns your face to his.

"Listen Y/N, You mean the world to me. Probably more than you think. I would never say I like you to sleep with you. I don't even had the courage to tell you I like you two years ago". You heart drops. "Hwitaek, if you are pranking me right now. I will kick you in the balls. Don't do this after what happened". Hwitaek laughs. "I am sorry about my timing, but it is true. I like you. I just want you to know that there are guys that really respect you for the way you are. I wish I told you sooner. I was just so afraid you still liked Hongseok and I didn't want to ruin our friendship".

You look him in the eyes. You can see whenever Hwitaek is lying, because he is so easy to read. "You are for real" you say. "Yes, I am" Hwitaek says seriously. You see he is nervous, but that he still looks at you. "I like you too" you say. "I was afraid too". Hwitaek puts his hand to your cheek and moves closer, but stops. "Is it okay if I kiss you. I don't want you feel bad after everything that happened". You nod. "It is okay". Hwitaek plans a soft kiss on your lips. Different from Hongseok's kiss, this makes you feel good. Very good. Like everything Hongseok says melts away and you finally found someone that truly loves you. "I don't want to move fast. Is it okay if we take this slow and see where this goes. I promise you I will protect you from any mean words people will say and I will personally kick Hongseok if he says anything else about you". "I would love all of that. Thank you, Hwitaek. You really are the only person that can calm me down". He smiles at you before kissing you again. "Come on, I will treat on lunch this time".

I hope you liked it! Let me know what you think! 🌱🌸

#🌱🌸.txt #pentagon #ptg #pentagon oneshot #pentagon fluff #pentagon angst #pentagon multiple endings #multiple endings #pentagon fanfiction #hui #hwitaek #lee hwitaek #hongseok #yang hongseok

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justintimbershit · 7 years

Note

1-99

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?XO - John Mayer Cabaret - Justin Timberlake Lights On - Shawn Mendes Bad Habit - The KooksHow Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran You’re Gonna Llive Forever in Me - John Mayer

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?literally John Mayer so I can ask him why the FUCK he played XO in Chicago and why that was only the 10th time ever and first and only time of TSFE tour he played it

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.“Mom’s stumped us. We had absolutely no idea who she’d dredge” (I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson)

4: What do you think about most?how terrible life is and then how much i wanna die tbh

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Jena should i get dropped off at your house then we can go get joe & julie?” IOWA TOMORROW FOR ED :DDDD

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?always w shirt but no pants lol

7: What’s your strangest talent?hating life as much as i do idk i have no talent

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)girls r hot n nice boys r hot n mean

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?yeah bc we were in love lol :(

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? idk i usually dont

11: Do you have any strange phobias?feet, being alone but also being in large crowds, idk theyre not very weird

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?no?

13: What’s your religion?idk man none atm prob

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?looking forward to going inside. but working and therefore reading.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?behind bc i am ugly lol

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?um probably panic at the disco but then also the killers

17: What was the last lie you told?“its fine” bc no it is not fine i wanna fight

18: Do you believe in karma?ya i think so. maybe

19: What does your URL mean?i like Justin Timberlake and also swearing

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?weakness is probably just who i am as a person and strength is idk i dont have any

21: Who is your celebrity crush?lmao. you say this like i have one. i have many. like thousands.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?nope

23: How do you vent your anger?talk to someone usually

24: Do you have a collection of anything?movie/concert/sporting event tickets and also empty gatorade bottles on my floor

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?phone bc im ugly

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?eh. better than what i was but could be better

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?hate is my sisters voice lol love is john mayers voice bc he sounds like a fuckin angel

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?what if i was someone else but not really someone else just like what if i was me with a better life or a differnt life in which things didnt always go so terribly for me ya know

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts maybe but aliens def

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.right arm some paper hanging off my nightstand and left nothing

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?the faint scent of clean laundry and lotion

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?hm.. great question. i feel like ive been to some pretty bad places but i cant recall any???

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?ive never been to either but east coast i think

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?justin timberlake bc hes one of the most attractive men in the entire world

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?bein happy, doin what you want, livin

36: Define Art.something someone creates

37: Do you believe in luck?yes i do

38: What’s the weather like right now?humid i think

39: What time is it?9:41 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?nope to both

41: What was the last book you read?i recently finished “The Upside of Unrequited” and now im workin on “More Than This”

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?no i hate it it makes me nauseous

43: Do you have any nicknames?jules

44: What was the last film you saw?o fuck um fist fight maybe?

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?the sunburn i got in florida was terrible bc i couldnt walk for a day so im gonnna say that

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?no :(

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?brandon saad being a chicago blackhawk again, tommy la stella, john mayer, reading gay books

48: What’s your sexual orientation?bi

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?uuuuum possibly ??? idk

50: Do you believe in magic?nah but also maybe

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?in my mind yes but most of the times my actions dont reflect that especially if its been a while

52: What is your astrological sign?sagittarius

53: Do you save money or spend it?both. i allow myself to spend it as long as i still have a decent amount saved

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?lunch at panera lol

55: Love or lust?neither bc they both suck when ur alone

56: In a relationship?no lol

57: How many relationships have you had?zero

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?nope i am not talented like that

59: Where were you yesterday?yesterday. i think i stayed home all day then me mary and joe hung out and went to get milkshakes at steak n shake

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?the inside of the bra bra sitting waiting to be put away lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?indeed

62: What’s your favourite animal?sloths my fav

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?i dont have one bc if i did ppl would like me, tf

64: Where is your best friend?at home id assume

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.whats tumblr

66: What is your heritage?im italian but i was born here and so were my parents

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?watching an episode of Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia before i showered

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?satan satan

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?yeah lmao who hasnt tho

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?i think so sometimes but other times im the worst person ever idk how i have friends

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?fuck u boss i love dogs and if u hate dogs that much as to not understand the situation i dont wanna work for a dog hater. asshole.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?a. maybe probably b. everything ive never done but wanted to c. probably

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.fuck. um. shit. id say love but then u cant trust the person you love so like… but at the same time i love love so much i feel like id die w/o it n ya know i dont trust anyone anyways so im gonna say love

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?srsly…..Bye Bye Bye by *NSYNC bc i cant be sad listening to that song lolol

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?9077

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?communication n openness

77: How can I win your heart?just be nice to me lol i have low standards

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?yes i do believe so

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?buying tickets to see john mayer lol that changed my life so drastically. my life is now pre john mayer and post john mayer. he literally fucking sang xo i will never get over it that will always be the happiest moment of my life im crying while typing this

80: What size shoes do you wear?8 - 9 ½ depending on the shoe

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?‘probably died because she said she wanted to die so often that death got sick of hearing it and killed her.“

82: What is your favourite word?fuck

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.justin timberlake. god im so fucked lol

84: What is a saying you say a lot?'i hate my life’ 'i want to die’ 'u should fight’

85: What’s the last song you listened to?Fools Gold by One Direction lmao

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?turquoise

87: What is your current desktop picture?justin timberlake leaning on a car lookin all hot n shit

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?myself tbh

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?uuuum idk it depends whos askin ya know. id answer certain questions if asked by one peson but not another

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?probably cry and attempt but ultimately fail to go back to sleep

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?flying or teleportation

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?when john mayer played XO at my concert obviously

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?losing all the pictures on my computer bc i keep saying im over it but im really not that was the entire past 4 years of my life in pictures and videos and theyre just gone its bullshit

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?oh man. so many. but if i had to choose one justin timberlake. wow bet no one saw that comin

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?literally fuckin no where im seeing ed sheeran in a matter of hours im not leaving. but if it were a different day lol id say amsterdam or boston

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?not that im aware of

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?when i was a smol child yea h but not recently

98: Ever been on a plane?when i was a child yes

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?um lol idk probably nothing tbh i dont wanna be held responsible for whatever happens afterwards

#questions

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cold-iron-burns · 5 years

Text

We've come to a consensus.

Everyone present at the time of this writing will do their best to inform the ones who need the support of a gentle delivery of current events.

The ayes have it.

YOU WOULD HAVE A PARLIAMENT AS YOUR COMMUNICATION SPACE

what's wrong with that? if we all actually do our jobs, so many more of us will be represented

THATS A LOGICAL ARGUEMENT, BUT WHO IS REALLY GETTING REPRESENTED

-wait WhAt?! HoW mAnY oF yOu ArE tHeRe

Oh honey, more than you will ever know. It's gonna be okay. We found each other and that's what's important. We're gonna start introducing ourselves,

*or at least, becoming more clear*

I love all of you so much, thank you so much for letting me in, for being patient with me. I think I'm the host? what iss. @ -o{oo#t?

started dissociating, it felt physically painful. the documenter.

And the enchanting lady is? *turns to tip his hat and wink at the camera* A -name-? Do you honestly think I could have settled on any name? Any singular--yes, Zed is going to sleep. I'm very fond of him. Attracted to him? He is my Adonis. Every inch of his body is particularly unique to his position in spacetime. There will never again be a Zed in which he appears, feels, smells and tastes exactly the same as he does at this exact moment, continued, forever and so on, as far as you know, infinitely. The Philosopher.

Wait, no, the Philanthropist

Wait wait NO, I stand by The Philosopher (for now)

[hold up, are y'all tellin me -- you c'n cawl me your White Trash Sweetheart, get rid of that bracket there, that's for the Host now

she doesnt know if she's the host or not, wibblywoooooo~ teen punk brat? aww man, fuck you you stupid piece of shit

hiiii yeah hi, I'm post-apocalypse punk Mayor (yes, you can call me that, but its aspirational) wow very humble -- golf commentater (now based on ugh this is important remember the actress' name, you look stupid, don't just stand there staring off into space, GET BACK TO WORK

OH YEAH, hi BiTcH --oh he's gone, that's -too- bad. well, as I'm here anyway, we should get to know one another. I'm "sassy black woman" because you're ashamed people will think you're using me just for drama and that's pretty fuckin racist--

I'm Final Form Chie. I started as so many of our seeds do, a poor slave girl, who loses her virginity yeah it's okay to make shortcuts

FOCUS

she gains skills, proves useful to the master, destroys the master (sometimes with kindness sometimes literally depending on what we need at the time)

[I didn't know it was that specific]

I'm mixed, actually, but I'm inspired SO MUCH by Claws. FUCKING REPRESENTATION FINAL--

>nope nope nope, shut it down<

John Cleese?

not exactly. A bit like the entire cast of monty python rolled into one. I'm from the countryside, but I can't say for sure where

woooooo we almost lost her there. she was panicking about losing this productive high, but she pulled through and FOUND THAT RUBI. Small Town Beauty Queen. I don't find it insulting if it helps you remember me. I started as Fern of Charlotte's Web. I keep that mournful lullaby for you. It really changed your path, dear heart. I don't become Miss America or anything, I'm too old by that time. But I love my family so much. You have so much anger

Yes, that's right, Dearie. Maiden, Mother, Crone. We don't think it was intentional but we like the power we have when we cooperate. Yes, we guide ... oh honey, don't cry, it's gonna be okay. no, n-n-no, no, you don't h-h-have to oh no, I really don't want to be here, I wasn't sure what to wear before, oh, I've gotten comfortable and I'm stuttering less. No, I don't think people who stutter in real life have this drastic of

oh, oh my. oh no, I'm still Achates.

Does it really surprise you? Chie and Amaury loved me so much that they couldn't bear to part entirely. They feel loyal to answer when you call on them when recalled in memories; they consider it their duty to fight in sharing our stories! With Pictures!

I don't need pictures

Don't you? you need to sleep, you're exhausted and you have an appointment tomorrow. Please go the fuck to bed. Slightly Extra (okay kinda actually just really ~(EXTRA)~

okay how do I... Ah, I got it. I'm the lucky early gen x mom you both wish you had -- no, we are not combined, sugar tits.

I'm the hardass 70s-80s mom you would have had if you're life was a movie. Well, technically I can mask as any kind of 70s-80s media mom (one of y'all--us! oh, yes, i hear you. I want you to know I would protect you, Kevin. MOM UGH

keep going - the sprites (soot or rainbow, we shift to suit your needs. we might steal your shoes. we are only some of the fae court. crossover unknown cannot compute - PLEASE HURRY. GOOD. I AM THE ROBOT OF THE 80s and --scratch that record

I'm that part of you who knew she couldn't look like Zach Morris and wanted so badly just to be a little boy. You were SO CONNECTED with the host when I was there?

wait, I'm the host

no, you--you are now because writing takes concentrating which you are losing quickly. Hello! I'm Sassy Progressive Upper Class CONCENTRATE, DAMMIT. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER. I don't care if I sound like -your-mom. Someone has to be the mom around here!

Someone has to be the mom around here.

Who wrote it?

you are high af.

keep letting your eyes go out of focus, yes you're getting sleepy, think how nice the bed will feel on that aching body. She deserves some rest, the old girl.

My body is a cow? wait, there's more. she shifts to being omniscient for scenes, if a cowsona (oh, yes, Buana and Gaushala and Pirwa ... Gaushala still has an arrow in the heart.

Yes, WoW Chie (Chiela will do.). I was here while you built your confidence to try... yes, dear, you really should sleep. TO TRY GETTING CATRIN AND RIAIN A HOME AFTER being abandoned when some of you lost the "spark" or whatever with Michael. I orchestrated some of the setup. you don't need to know my name. I'm both Italian immigrant/WHOA DO NOT EVEN CONNECT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY TO--NO, We Dont...*clears throat, drinks water*. No, you're not wealthy like Ms. Maisel, -we-, sorry, sometimes I have to pretend. Speaking of pretending, no, kid, I'm not as funny or talented as all the wonderful Jewish actresses (yeah yeah, Italian-American you, whatever his+her names are, we'll get to you later)

oh nooooo they're not sure if they'll fit the stereotype if they get loud but they wanna

yeah, sure kid, we sound a lot alike. we exist in a liminal space in which America (and new york city) (and every big american metropolis)... we can all celebrate our differences

It's alright, you just need to focus. I'm 90s Successful Well Paying Professional (I can be in the late 80s WA>T)

you're just stating tropes you stupid bitch

whale!

MISS PIGGY

LOOK AT HER FAT FINGERS

remember when you -hold on- hold on for me, my love lovely?

~do you wanna be my lover, gotta get wit my friends, make it last forever cause that's the way it is"

some of us havent learned to swype yet, fuuuuuck. you're popular--but not top tier popular 4th grade 4H champion with all the ribbons. you'll grow up (yes it's hard, i want to be a teacher one day. I'm based on Angie. I'm the imaginary life you might have led if your family wasn't so difficult. We should give them credit, everyone's trying their best. Oh, I can take on mom duties when I need, we also have kids in our future. We live in Lagrange (my husband and I, at this point in the line) but we don't make as much as our parents yet, though. Yet. Yes, I know what it feels like to feel content but maybe have some (or a lot of) wanderlust in life. I'm ten or so years older than you, so while our dedication to staying in Lorain County is important to the values we wish to impart on our children (yes we are Christian. We love Sharon with all our heart and we're so glad (there's a small congregation of us, maybe enough to fill a quiet one room cottage on Sunday, God willing. I'm inspired by the Amish women I see selling their wares and replicate "Amish" methods when making food for my family (I'm good friends with The Baker. We watch Steven Universe with you! We're so excited for the movie and hope we get to talk to you about it! I showed it to Chip and Carol, well I keep talking with them about it and they agreed to get around to watching it with me. I want to be a good ally. I'm, you know, only a little bi. I know that's probably inappropriate--oh- okay, oh, my, oh WOW are my hormones nuts. I'm pretty enough but nerdy enough that I'm kinda in a weird middle tier of popularity. Haha, oh, that's funny. I'm part Sunday (we miss her! some of us are so jealous of her we want to claw her comfortable boomer life from her hands.

That's awful. Shame on you. Suffering is relative.

SHE HASN'T EVEN SUFFERED A FRACTION OF WHAT I SUFFERED

Oh yes. You are the raw emotion of what the Host(?) feels when listening to Jekyll & Hyde, but only the certain version claws at our hearts

We salute the departed Host.

I miss her. Many of us do. But she crumbled under the pressure of knowing too much. She remembered too much before she was ready.

Parliament: We [redacted for time] ...salute her memory. She fought well, carried her armor, was ready to take on anything and change the world, even if in a small way.

She's Not Dead.

sprites: {hushed whispers to avoid being heard by parliament} {WAIT, NO, WE ARE NOT THE HOUSE OF COMMONS}

there's a lot of you when you get mad.

@@@@@@ Angie no, please don't put me to bed. I'm gonna be a computer genius - I mean, maybe not genius and did you know colleges could pay you to get a Bachelor's degree, it's called "scholarships", I mean, this changes -everything-!

I love you, Cameron. I came first, but you gave me a perfect form. I help the others feel calm. Community is punk, but is corporate entanglement the final destination-- hey, wait a minute, I'm not done talking!

whoa bitch. I mean, we have to mention joe. want to be him, want to fuck him, His story, too, is tangible to me. maybe we're a package deal now, ha! I'll try to remember the good times more than the bad, for the health of all of us.

SO SAY WE ALL

wait, what the fuck are you trying to say

hey, it's cool, it's cool.

nah it aint cool

STOP IT STOP FIGHTING

let's think about date sugar

Ah. That was a good distraction. but we really must be off to bed.

is this productive?

Love, it's okay to be sad about losing the real Ben. \It's okay to have any kind of feeling at all.

Ladies and gents and nonbinaries and everyone else, please at least get up into the bed to think about flickin the bean. More like taking a bush-hog to a lil baby bean sprout, but whatever. let the rest of us lie down.

night y'all!

0 notes

superblyjovialtheorist-blog · 6 years

Text

What is the cheapest car insurance?

"What is the cheapest car insurance?

I'm going on a road trip with my friend and we're wild and stupid. I'm not looking to hear your advice on the subject I'm smart enough to come to those conclusions on my own. However, I want to know what car insurance, would be the cheapest so that we may legally drive in every state. What kind of coverage would be required? How cheap can we get it down to? Thanks friends.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I bought a new car in Germany. It is insured through its manufacturer. I then left Germany and went to another country to work and live. Since I wanted to keep the car, I drove it to my new home! For the first 3 months (I am told) I am still insured as a Tourist. But I wonder... Say I have an accident in this new country, we exchange insurance details, etc... Where should the other driver go to get his compensation and file his claim? Has anyone ever had an accident with, say even, a rental car from another country and found out that they live elsewhere and . . . How should one deal with this situation where there might even be language barriers between the two drivers and the forms they have to fill in? Thanks in advance

How much is car insurance for a 2009 Benz C300?

I'm 27 years old. I live in the Bronx, New York. I have good credit. TransUnion: 765 Experian: 764 Equifax: 734 I want to financial or lease (I'm not exactly sure what the difference is. Do I still have to get full coverage regardless of which I choose?) a 2009 Benz C300. It's valued at about $30,000. I live in an apartment with my father who has a 2001 Pontiac Montana. He pays about $150-$200 per month in insurance. I tried to find out how much it would cost on Geico and they called me and told me it was gonna be $150 for the first month and $140 for the next seven months. I thought there must have been some mistake because how could it cost the same for a new car and raggedy car? The guy was like, Well, looks like we can get you a great price . Is this a ploy to get me to switch insurance companies and then they'll charge me higher rate after the first year or something? I think they must have thought I already own the car outright and didn't know I was planning on financing it. Or is it because we will have two cars from the same household an we'll get a multi-car discount. I know this was true when my brother had a car on the same policy with my dad and they got a discount, but they lived at separate places. Me and dad live together, so I think they won't even allow me to get insurance. Someone please tell if this is true or not. My friend, who thinks she knows it all, said its a scam and they will charge me alot more as soon as I sign up. But believe me she's just jealous cuz she's high class and I live in the Bronx and she makes way more than me and doesn't have a Benz. So, she is definitely just assuming. If you know for sure let me know you know or that you think that's what will happen. I assumed the insurance would be $400 - $450 per month. Also, if anyone has some idea what the financing per month with credit like mines on a car like this would be, that would also be appreciated. I have never been any serious car accidents, had a DUI or DWI. I hope someone has experience with financing a nice car and insuring, so I can get at least a ball park estimate on how much I will expect to be paying. Thanks for the help!""

Why can you 16 years old own cars in America?

Hello, So when I'm watching MTV or whatever television program here in the Netherlands I'm noticing that so many 16 year old drive a car. But where do you guys get the money from? Because a really crappy cheap car cost about 1000 euro's and than you need to pay a 390 euro (507 dollars) a month. I'm 16 too and with my 40 hours of work in a month I make 200 euro (260 dollars), so I can't afford a car now. (at least not paying every single month 390 euros) Nevertheless in the Netherlands you must be 18 years old to drive a car, but even when I'm 18 I think I won't make a 390 euro a month (only for my car). So do your parents pay? Don't you have to pay taxes or whatever? Thanks. David Calculation: Cheap car = 1000 euro Good cheap car = 3000 euro Average insurance 18 year old = 100 euro a month Can't find translation but road taxes = 80 euro a month cost of maintance = 80 euro a month Average driving 1000km a month with 7/100L = 70 * 1,80= 126 euro We pay 1.80 euro a liter (benzine) = 1 gallon = 3,8L = 6,84 euro's = 8,9 dollar per gallon so: 390 euro = 507 dollars a month""

Would having a baby affect you car insurance rate?

I just had a baby 3 months ago and I was jw if it would affect my rate if i told the company.

What vehicles have the lowest insurance rates for teenage drivers.?

Hit a car. How much insurance can go up?

Have good driving record for 3 years and with Progressive. How much insurance can go up if I hit a car and damage like this... http://www.whymagic.com/html/images/front_bl_before_lg.jpg http://www.whymagic.com/html/images/before-after/front_before_lg.jpg

Can parents get sued if I drive a car without insurance?

My mom tried to tell me that if I drive without insurance they would be sued because I live with them. I am 19 so I am a legal adult. The car is also in my name only. I think she was just talking out her *** personally, but now I am curious if that is even possible. Whatsoever.""

Can anyone recommend a good Classic/Collector Car insurance company?

I'm looking for reasonable terms/conditions and rates to insure a 1967 Chevy Chevelle. Anyone have any experience or recommendations for insurance companies specializing in classic cars? Thanks!

Car insurance after accident?

I am 18 and have been driving for 1 year, I used to drive as an additional driver on my Dads Renault Megane, I crashed it from spinning off and hitting a wall, luckily no one was hurt, I just had a few cuts from shattered glass. The police have arranged for me to have an interview next week to discuss the consequences, at the moment I have no convictions or anything on my licence, my Dad just bought me my own car and has said he'll pay for the insurance in full, it's quoted at 880 for a year if he pays in full, he was planning on paying in full in 2 days, I'm not trying to cheat the system, but if my dad pays in full and then I get a conviction after the transaction has been made, can the insurance company up my insurance considering I had no convictions at the time? I'm not trying to beat the system and cheat my way, I'm just curious as to what will happen. Thanks for taking the time to read!""

I have an insurance quote of 1300 for a punto 1.2 on a provisional licence?

if i take this quote what will happen when i get a full licence will it go up or down?

Will I considered to drive a car without insurance?

Hi. I been driving without insurance for months because my mom told me to wait until her insurance expired and will add me to her policy in june. My mom add me to her policy a few days ago and my car insurance will only start valid on june 2, 2013. Yesterday, I was pulled over and got a ticket. Will I considered to drive a car without insurance? My mom was very mad at me because I didn't get any ticket for months and not involve in any accidents and now only 10 days until my car insurance valid, I got a ticket. Please help, I don't want to have 2 violation case especially drive without car insurance""

What is the cheapest car insurance?

Insurance problems with car theft?

a friend of mine is an american citizen living in Juarez, Mexico because of his wife is a Mexican citizen that can't cross until her papers are finalized.. So he works here and goes back to Juarez for the night and comes back in the morning.. the other day on his way home.. he stopped at the store and when he walked out.. someone stole his truck.. he called the police and reported a stolen truck but with no info given about himself or the truck, just merely a black suburban... now he's back in the states.. and wants to report it stolen here from a friends house or something... not at a store because walmart has video cameras in their parking lots.. so how can he proceed in doing this.. he doesn't want to cause insurance fraud but he has nothing left besides his truck.. if he tells the insurance company it was stolen across the border, there is no policy on where it was stolen, so Juarez, Mexico is out of their jurisdiction.. how can he do this without getting in trouble.. he's worried about the border itself.. because they snap a photo of you coming into the united states.. but do they snap a photo of you when they get out? any info on what he can do to help his situation would help so much.. thank you""

What is the cheapest insurance group?

I'm 17, girl, doing my driving lessons and am planning to get a car soon. Not bothered which car, i just want a cheap, affordable one. I've been hearing about insurance groups recently which is confusing me because no one around me can adequately explain it. So, i just would like to know what the cheeapest insurance group is and if you could also please explain a little more on insurance groups so that i'm a bit more informed.. thank you""

How can i find out Insurance rates on cars?

is there a certain website which can give me the average amount i need to pay for car insurance on certain cars.

How to transfer car loan to my name?

My boyfriend has gotten a dui recently and his insurance went up like crazy tripling how much he use to pay. To avoid paying for the high insurance rate for the next 4 or so years, he suggested that he transfer his Wachovia car loan to me. How do I go about to doing that? Do I contact Wachovia first? Do I then have to get a car loan from the bank for the remaining amount of his car? By the way, my credit score is excellent. Thanks your answers.""

How much would i pay for car insurance? Estimate?

I know that it depends on a lot of factors but can you estimate how much i would pay for car insurance on a monthly basis - I am 18 years old - will be driving either a 1999 or 2000 model - will be attending college after the summer - clear background - this will be my first car - I live in a very wired and exotic place called MARYLAND

How to get my car insurance in my name?

i am going to break up with my boyfriend, but my car insurance is in his name.i want to be independent , so how to get it over in my name. he refuse to help me out. did i mention how much i dislike him.""

What kind of health insurance do i apply for?

I have a one year old son and he has had medi-cal off on and they give me so many problems and i'm tired of him having medi-cal. I recently reapplied because they stopped it again, but this time i added his father on there since he has no type of medical insurance either.4 weeks went by and i haven't recieved anything in the mail so i call and ask what is going on. The lady was extremely rude to me and tells me they denied my application because they never recieved a packet that requested birth certificates,social securities, proof of income etc. And i tried to explain to her i never recieved the packet that requested any of that and that's why i was calling to let them know and she said well they already denied you so you need to apply again i'm tired of medi-cal my poor son deserves better.so i was wondering if anyone knew of something else i could apply for? it's just for my son and his father i'm still under my moms insurance so i don't need it but i have to apply for them since i'm the mother of my child obviously. We live off of $400 every 2 weeks and have other things to pay for.so please someone help!""

What is an average 16 year old car insurance bill?

Im am 16 years old bought a car sunday its a 96 240sx 2 door, and my mom is wondering how much my insurance would cost. And we are with allstate if that helps you guys.""

Short Term health care insurance plan in California?

I am looking to get insurance for a short period of time - 2 months. Which plan and provider be appropriate ?

Where do I find florida health insurance ?

I am looking for a health insurance quote for florida health insurance. I am looking for cheap florida health insurance.

Could anyone tell me if there are dui/dwi exclusions in states that have no-fault auto insurance?

Health insurance HELP!?

okay so hears the problem. im 19 just moved away from home no parental support pretty much on my own attending school and working full time. i need to find a cheap health plan any suggestions? no deductible? HELP PLEASE!!

""I lower my car insurance deductible a week ago, would the insurance company accept my claim today?""

Because of the bad snowy weather we been having, I recently lower my car deductible from $1000 to $250 . My car just sliped today and hit a curve. I took it to have it checked, and the shop told me it would be around $3000 to get the car fix. Would my insurance company think that i lower my deductible after the incident happened? Would they cover the damage? Should i wait before trying to file the claim?""

Cheap Car Insurance companies fo 17-20 year olds?

hey im 19 and just passed my driving test, and i can not find vheap enough car insurance, does anyone have any suggestions? thanks""

Does state farm insurance cover rental cars if you car gets stolen?

I do have full coverage on the car that was stolen ,but does rental coverage come standard on full coverage insurance?""

What is a cheap car insurance plan?

Im 19 years old and I live in New York. I am looking for an affordable car insurance plan. Any suggestions?

Does the insurance rate go up or more if I get my license?

Ok my mom and dad both have a car and they bought a car just for me. It already has insurance and license plate and everything. I'm planning on getting my license soon. So when I do would my dad have to pay for more money because of me driving it? I mean the insurance is on my dads name. Thx for replying.

How much extra would it be to go on my parents car insurance ?

at the moment my mother is paying 600 a year for car insurance, i was wondering how much extra it would be a year for me to go on her insurance. i am 18 year old girl living in england would it be cheaper for me to get my own insurance or go on hers ?""

Expat insurance - what kind of insurance is appropriate?

I traveled abroad for a year and got worldwide travel insurance. Then I decided to make the move permanent. I am living outside the EU and I'm wondering, surely travel insurance is inappropriate for a permanent move - what to other expats get to make sure they are covered against issues abroad? Thanks

Will a sex change from male to female result in lower car insurance?

Females have lower car insurance then males. So if a male gets a sex change does the car insurance company change their sex in their records and lower their car insurance?

Auto insurance quotes?

What website you recommend to get instant multiple quotes for multiple cars, without agent or a representative involvement?""

Car insurance help needed?

I'm 16 and a male and I need to find out how much insurance would cost on a 2000 Monte Carlo SS. I heard that pod grade help so I have roughly a 3.3 GPA in HS

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

Rough Insurance Quotes (Guesses welcome)?

I am first in line for several used cars I'm considering. The only thing I'm worried about are insurance rates. I'm only 19 and I've had my license for less than 6 months. I will be signed on with my parents, and they are with Geico. The three cars I'm considering are a 2000 Ford Mustang, a 2004 Honda Civic and a 2001 Kia Rio. How much would you guess it would cost me a month/year to insure?""

Which is the best homeowners insurance?

i live in california and im getting a home and now i need home insurance which is the best thanks

What is the cheapest car insurance?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/car-insurance-quick-quote-racv-stephen-mason/"

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healthimind · 7 years

Text

God, I feel like the only time I ever write in my life is when the shit hits the fan. In part, I believe its because I use writing as a way to express how I’m feeling, it helps me to put all my negative emotions into something and vent without having to necessarily feel bad that I have just word vomited all my feelings and thoughts onto someone. Writing has always been my way of dealing and coping with the things going on around me. Whether that’s related to family, friends, a breakup, my personal struggles - I can’t say I have a great way with words...but that’s not what my writing is about, nor is that why I write. It’s generally quite simple and straight to the point.

Its about freeing space in my head and knowing that I’ve put all that’s inside in a safe place on a page, or screen.

But i’ve also realised that i’d like to write about the good things and the positive. I would like to remember the things I did, and more than that I want to remember what I thought in those particular moments, how I felt. I don’t think i do enough of that. As a matter of fact, I know I don’t do enough of that because if I was to scroll through any of the numerous posts I have made throughout my presence here - they would undoubtedly all be about negative emotions.

But, like I said before - I vent when i write. i write everything I cannot say to anyone. Not because I’m afraid of any judgement that might be passed my way. No. I believe its primarily because I don’t want to pass on MY negativity onto other people. It’s my, personal, negativity and they have nothing to do with it. Nor are they the responsible ones to listen to me vent every so often. And that’s why I love writing. It’s not about seeking advice about a particular problem - what I reach that point, im more than happy to talk to people and brainstorm the possible solutions. But that’s not where I am at the moment.

I’ve felt this distance from family. From mum and dad. I feel like no matter what they do I get frustrated and irritated. I think a large part of the way I feel about them comes form the shit that they have going on between them. I’m seeing the neverending loop that they’ve created for themselves where they are unhappy, they argue, its a matter of a millisecond when a conversation can go from being perfectly normal (normal is a relative term in my family), but lets say being calm to being a volcanic eruption. Seriously, I often wonder how I never learned to adapt to this over the years? How have I not found a better way of dealing with their shit? How am I still so affected by their arguments, mood swings, mine-fucking-fields?

And yet everytime I write about things like this, I don’t seem to be any closer to figuring it out. Maybe i’m doing something wrong? Maybe I need to change the way I write and the way I explore this head and heart of mine.

I know one thing - I bite my nails out of frustration. I’ve realised that much. and it also only stems from them. I don’t want to blame them for my habit that I can break, but relapse every time things get too overwheling. There is nothing about biting my nails that is soothing of calming; if anything, its even more frustraing because half way through doing the behaviour I realise that I’m doing it and that half of my nail of eaten off and well that just perpetuates the cycle of frustration.

And I feel like in this writing I have covered five different topics, neither one particularly related or relevant to the other - but that’s OK. At least i’m getting things off my chest - and I will, hopefully, be able to leave it all here, go to bed and start tomorrow fresh.

I don’t want to let these feeligns govern my days and cloud how i’m feeling. And the thing is - that is exactly what they’re doing. And it’s in part becasue when I come home from work - I am in exactly the same environment as I was when I left - nothing has changed. And its not that nothing has changed from yesterday to today - its that nothing has changed for years. I’m also struggling to grasp how people live like that. I often think about this and I only ever hope to have the courage and strength to leave and get out of any situation that is making me this misrable. And it is, it’s making them both incredibly misrable. Neither one is happy with the current situation. Neither one wants to be in this relationship and yet neither one of them is doing anything about it. And i’m not advocating for divorce, separation or anything drastic like that - but doing something, anything - trying to make things better. Nope. I don’t know how they expect to see a difference in their relationsihp when NOTHING is changin. NOTHING. NOT. ONE. THING. and I know this because I’ve been the witness of their relationship for the past...27 years. Ok maybe give it the last 15 that I can say counts and I can (not fondly) remember.

I think i’m also tired of going around in circles. Having the same discussions, talks, plans. Yes, lets discuss the trees you want to plant in the garden (the 5 lemons, 3 lime, 4 mandarin trees, 2-3 figs, peaches etc). Oh but no, lets not do anything about this for months - just talk about it. and confirm after every conversation that those are the plants you want to get. Lets confirm, for the 100th time the place where you would like to plant those trees. And then lets not do anything about them. They are YOUR plants. It is YOUR project. Am I the only one here that thinks its OK to have your own projects that the whole family doesn’t need to be a part of? Like, its OK that you want to plant those trees - go and do your research, buy them, plant them, water them...do what ever you want with them, but just DO SOMETHING.

Same thing with buying a phone. For the love of God, I cannot have another discussion about that. Its like he doesn’t want to buy a phone...and he prides himself if having the money to buy the phone but not doing it. And I dont get it. WHAT AM I MISSING??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And how do I know he doesn’t want to buy a phone? because everything he does suggests so. He says he wants to buy a phone - asks me to do the research behind it and then, changes the battery to a new one becuase his one is like every other iphone battery - crap. The lock button stops working as does the headphone jack and what does he do? he spends $100 to fix it all. Now its not about the money and spending $130 to fix the little bits to make the phone (which he has memory and internet issues with) last longer. I dont get it. It’s not like he bought a brand new phone a month ago and now iphon 8 has come out and he wants it. No, he has the iphone 4s....and its giving in, one piece of hardware at a time. So, then there we are again - talking about him getting the new phone, but then not really beacuse he’s just spent $100 fixing this one and he doesn’t want to be one of the first ones to have the new phone...because, god knows why. Don’t worry - you wont be. There are about 342974023 other people in the world who have pre-ordered them. But then I think i’m being an absolute asshole who instead of appreaciating this quality and seeing it in a positive way - is putting a negative spin on it and looking at it through the negative lense. Why? Is it because I feel like my time is wasted having talked about the same thing, AGAIN, or is it because I’m sick of my parents not being able to make a decision and stick to it. You’re buying a phone - just make up your mind and do it. The world is not going to fall if you make and execute a decision. Trust me. I feel bored and frustrated having to have these same disussions. The same goes for renovating the kitched...painting the interior of the house - i cannot count the number of times we’ve talked about doing this - at least 20...and yet - absolutely nothing is being done. NOTHING. We havent even moved a milimeter. No dad, bringing home a prospectus of some company X that will charge an arm and a leg and then asking me to go onto their website to have a look at everything - no, thant is not making progress. That is you superficially finding something and then delegating and passing on the task to me. To do all the time-wasting research which wont result in anything other than - it’s too expensive. Should we invest in this kitchen - are we even going to stay here? Are we selling the house? What are we doing with our lives? Aaagh. and we are back to square one. But no, you can do that research too. You are more than competent to research your news paper online - you can google this. Ooooh but no, the language is a barrier, not knowing how to use the app, the phone, the ipad. You know what, that’s another thing that gets on my nerves. This constant need to be shown how to do thigs on the iphone, ipad. CMON people! These devices were designed for idiots! Kids under the age of 5 use them!!! KIDS. Yeah, the little people that cant count to 20. They use them with ease. So why cant you? And the most common response I get is, well just think about all the things we had to teach you and ha ha ha oh look how its all coming back. Yeah, the only difference is that when you were teaching me you had the expectation that I would LEARN and we wouldn’t be going over the same things over and over and over again - 5 years down the line. The only difference is that I learned. I had to. and you, for some reason, dont feel like you have to. And that “some reason” being your dependency on me always being here. Here to fix the phone, here to fix the ipad, here to call vodafone, here to call tower...enough. ENOUGH PLEASE. You’ve used your immigration status as an excuse to not learn anything new, to boycot technology - which is the driving force of the time we live in. Do I love it - no. Do I need it - yes. and that’s where the story end. I need it and therefore I will learn what I need to. You talk about being sick that you have to depend on me, or someone to help you with things. Do you know how you overcome that? BY LEARNING. By WANTING TO KNOW. By being interested. You have to WANT TO be independent, self-reliant in order to be it. and don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean that I am never there to help and i just tell you to google things that you dont know. Absolutely not, but for the love of God, show some initiative. Show me that you’ve tried - that you’ve gone - hey, i’ve done this this and this and its still not working. What am I doing wrong - and then we’ll look at it together. but dont just come to me after hte first hiccup with your hands up in the air holding a white flag.

Oh and while I am on the topic of doing something after the first hiccup - what is your deal with coming and waking me up in the morning to tell me ridiculously UNIMPORTANT things? No dont wake me up. Respect that i’m sleeping and if what you have to tell me isn’t a matter of life or death - please, realise that it can wait an hour or two while I wake up and then we can talk about it. I dont want to be jumped before having even opened my eyes, with something that is so minor and irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things. How do I put all this nicely? How do I say this in a way that is encompased in love, care, compassion, and understanding?

I am sick of being told I am harsh and judgemental and unreasonable. I’m that way becuase I can’t handle all the things that are constantly thrown at me. I am sick of seeing what the problem is and knowing that nothing will ever be done about it. How do you not understand that that’s extremly difficult to deal with and handle? How is that such a foreign concept to you? Anyway - I know that I need to be more compassionate and kind - but I struggle to find those feelings and reserves of understanding for you. And that, in general, makes me incredibly sad. To think that I have the capacity to be that for everyone else, but you. Even though I know that those people are the same as you. They are probably running around in their own circles and neverending loops.

So, lets start here - I WILL BE A BIGGER PERSON, FOR MYSELF. I WILL NOT LET OTHERS DARKEN MY ENERGY AND FREQUNCY. I WILL NOT RESOND BLINDLY TO THE PROVOCATIONS OF OTHERS. THESE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, AROUND ME. WHAT I WILL DO IS TAKE A COUPLE OF SECONDS TO GROUND MYSELF IN ANY SITUATION. I WILL TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND I WILL THINK BEFORE RESPONDING. I WILL REMEMBER THAT THEIR ENERGY ISN’T MINE AND I DON’T, BY ANY MEANS, NEED TO EMBRACE AND BECOME IT. NO. I HAVE MY OWN ENERGY, I HAVE MY OWN BUBBLE AND I WILL CHOSE WHAT COMES THRUGH. IF I’M IN A SHITTY MOOD - THATS DIFFERENT. IN THAT CASE, I WILL NOT PROJECT IT ONTO THER PEOPLE - BUT I WILL BE ABLE TO SEPRARETE THE TWO AND KNOW THAT I AM THE ONE THAT IS IN THE BAD MOOD - AND THE OTHER PERSON ISN’T RESPONSBILE FOR IT, NOR ARE THEY THE DESIGNATED TARGET OF IT. SO, I WILL STEP BACK - I WILL CONSCIOUSLY BE PRESENT AND AWARE THAT i NEED TO SEPARATE MY MOOD AND APPROACH THEM IN A NEUTRAL WAY.

WHEN IT COMES TO FAMILY - THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT. I NEED TO PRACTICE KINDNESS, APPRECIATION, COMPASSION, AND LOVE. FOR WHAT AND WHO THEY ARE. FOR WHAT THEY DO. I KNOW I FORGET THIS - AND SO I BELIEVE ITS IMPORTANT THAT I REMIND THEM AS WELL AS MYSELF. I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO DO THIS. I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST WITH WORDS - IN TERMS OF SPEAKING - BUT WRITING, WRITING I CAN DO. SO I WILL NEED TO THINK ABOUT THAT. I ALSO NEED TO REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING THEY DO - THEY DO OUT OF LOVE. SO WHEN THEY SAY WE DONT SEE YOU - ITS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER. I WILL FIND TIME TO BE TOGETHER AND MAKE IT COUNT. I WILL NOT BE AN ASSHOLE I NAMCOR TO THEM BECUSE THEY DONT DESERVE IT. I NEED TO KEEP DEVELOPING IN THIS EMOTINOAL INTELLIGENCE SPACE AND WHILE THEY MAY NOT HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE - I DO. AND THAT IS SOMETHING I CAN USE TO BOTH MINE AND THEIR ADVANTAGE. I CAN STEP UP MY GAME AND NOT LET THINGS GET OUT OF HAND. THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN DO AND IF IT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE I WILL DO IT.

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