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#you actually get to see Stanley grow and progress
blackkatdraws2 · 1 month
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The Main Character.
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[Blank Scripts AU]
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Fii Or Dii Or Sellers, That Is Controling The Markets?
This can be made use of to understand the FII sight of the near-term market. Mr. Narendra Modi pertaining to power as the Prime Minister of India in June 2014 brought about the hopes of a long-lasting advancing market. China is additionally a preferred location for foreign institutions seeking to invest in high-growth capital markets. In 2019, China determined to ditch quotas on the amount of the country's supplies and bonds FIIs can purchase.
If we look at the historical information, whenever FIIs have withdrawn cash, the stock market has fallen and also vice versa.
Economic markets function as bellwethers as well as give us a reflection of the total sentiment for the globe economy.
We have attracted almost US$ 7.4 billion of FII moves in this CYTD.
As a retail capitalist, we may earn a significant quantity of cash by executing their approaches without doing any type of evaluation or losing at any time seeking an excellent quality company.
As FPI/FII activity hogs the spotlight, it makes sense to keep tab on their activity.
As we can see from the chart above, FIIs no more dominate the trend of the market, that is, they no longer determine the direction of awesome cost motion. The Get Bank of India monitors conformity with these restrictions daily by carrying out cutoff points 2% below the optimum financial investment. This gives it a possibility to warn the Indian company getting the investment before allowing the final 2% to be acquired.
Discover Wonderful Supplies
Considering that both this, DII's and also FII's are huge companies with large funds, they have lot of cash to invest. Morgan Stanley, HSBC, CLSA and so on are a few examples of FII's while LIC, mutual fund houses like Kotak, HDFC, ICICI are DII's. Recreation of newspaper article, photos, videos or any other web content in whole or partly in any type or medium without share writtern approval of moneycontrol.com is forbidden. Hence, a thorough analysis of the month of August 2017 reveals us a consistent marketing pattern in FIIs with the exemption of 8th August 2017. This day experienced heavy acquiring in both FII and DII of around Rs.1539 cr and Rs. 798 cr. The entire month witnessed positive DII worths as well as therefore, we can think that inside, the Indian economic climate is quite secure and also progressively growing.
Individuals like you and also me, that individually invest in the stock exchange, all come under the retail group. The financial investment establishments like shared funds, pension funds fall under the foreign institutional capitalists or residential institutional capitalists classification. Abroad capitalists continued to stay web vendors in the domestic equity markets for the eight consecutive months in May, registering the lengthiest such streak at the very least in the previous 22 years. Data offered with Ace Equity revealed that foreign institutional capitalists have actually offered shares worth over Rs 2 lakh crore in between October 1, 2021 as well as May 27, 2022. Capture the current FII patterns and also track their financial investments in India. Because you're interested in tracking what FIIs are buying and selling, have a look at Equitymaster's Powerful Supply Screener.
Markets
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It was the duration when COVID-19 began to become a serious threat to the world economic climate. In the figure listed below, we plot the open rate of interest superimposed with the price for the following component of the evaluation. In the number above we can clearly see that the integrated open rate of interest began raising towards the end of February as well as remained at very high levels in the initial 3 weeks of March. It after that shot down enormously after the March expiry as well as reached a nadir in the direction of completion of March and then into April. We upgrade data that is easily proven every EOD from initial hand sources like BSE and also NSE.
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Buying by FIIs crucial for Nifty to move beyond consolidation zone - Economic Times
Buying by FIIs crucial for Nifty to move beyond consolidation zone.
Posted: Fri, 13 May 2022 07:00:00 GMT [source]
The first quarter of 2020 has actually been just one of one of the most challenging times in the article World War II period. The collision in oil costs as a result of geopolitical factors and the COVID-19 global pandemic were the dominant themes. A specially interesting way to make information aesthetic is the Sankey Graph.
Indian Indices
Provided the numerous headwinds, BofA Securities expects markets to be laterally the near-term given rising cost of living influencing quantity development and also margins throughout numerous sectors. It's a known truth that FII purchasing is critical for the survival of Indian Stock exchange. Current directive of Govt of India reg levy of MAT on FIIs was an action to cool down the nerves of FIIs as well as supply stable tax regimen. A financier always hunts for supplies which are hot faves of FIIs. Earlier, they stood as internet vendors for seven straight months in 2008, when they unloaded shares worth Rs 44,380 crore between May 2008 as well as November 2008. Nifty50 ended the week sharply adverse and also is currently trading around a solid support level of 15,700 which coincides with the bottom end of the down sloping network.
Capitalists must position their wagers only on business that have solid basics and also are readily available at affordable assessments. Edelweiss Broking Ltd. acts in the ability of representative for Products such as OFS, Common Funds, IPOs and also NCD and so on. All disputes relative to the circulation activity, would certainly not have accessibility to Exchange financier redressal forum or Settlement mechanism.
Fii Marketing In 5 Months Of 2022 Highest Ever
The ceiling on FIIs' financial investments in Indian public-sector financial institutions is only 20% of the financial institutions' paid-up funding. FIIs are bearish primarily on monetary services stocks because of rising inflation. Nifty Financial institution has actually been among the worst-performing sectoral indices with a 13.9 percent decline year-to-date.
Yet you'll be stunned to understand they likewise have significant exposure to penny stocks.
That said, the sentiment seems to be getting worse as even organized financial investment plan inflows have boiled down in April mirroring bad danger cravings of financiers.
Kotak Mahindra financial institution 8th in the list of top Fii holding companies in India.
The brokerage residences then repatriate the returns and also resources gains.
Financiers ought to put their bets just on companies that have solid principles as well as are available at sensible assessments. During the Bull Run from 2004 to 2007, FIIs gathered US$ 46.4 billion into the Indian markets. Nevertheless, in 2008 the entire world really felt the warm of the global economic crisis that came from the United States. FIIs boost resources markets, helping financial innovation and also economic development. This blog explores the reasons behind why FIIs purchase any type of country or draw their funds out and the effect on the Indian markets. The surge in FII task in F&O section is also partly as a result of the depth in the cash money sector, which is not big sufficient to absorb high volumes.
India's History: Exactly How Leftist Chroniclers Fed Us A Number Of Lies
Due to high rising cost of living, the US reserve bank has been aiming to quit actions for financial stimulation-- additionally called measurable easing-- that started after the pandemic. We accumulate, preserve, and also use your contact information for legitimate service objectives just, to call you and to give you details & most recent updates regarding our products & solutions. Hence the present DII vs FII possession proportion shows how robustly DIIs have actually been investing compared to FIIs.
FII financial investment today includes several policies for reasonable and transparent working of the purchase. A ceiling is deployed for all FIIs that specify the max financial investment amount can only be 24% of the paid-up resources of the Indian company receiving the financial investment. Only through a special board approval or the passing of an unique resolution can you increase the max investment above 24%.
What Is An International Institutional Investor Fii?
The Company has delivered great earnings growth of 22.60% CAGR over last 5 years. Shriram Transport Finance Firms is the stock with 3rd highest FII holding in India where 61% of share are held by International institutional Financiers. CAs, experts and businesses can obtain GST ready with ClearTax GST software program & accreditation course. Our GST Software application helps CAs, tax obligation experts & organization to handle returns & invoices in an easy fashion. Our Item & Services Tax obligation program consists of tutorial video clips, guides and expert support to help you in grasping Product as well as Provider Tax Obligation.
Explained: Why FIIs are selling and what can reverse this trend - CNBCTV18
Explained: Why FIIs are selling and what can reverse this trend.
Posted: Mon, 20 Dec 2021 08:00:00 GMT [source]
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grunklefidds · 3 years
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an unfinished stanley-centered same coin fic that has been sitting in my phone since around new year's (i'm happy with what's there of it, it just cuts off abruptly and i don't think i'll be adding to it any time soon). enjoy
1.2k words, only significant warnings are for recurring discussion of self-loathing, some unreality/depersonalization as relevant to the theory, not particularly detailed mentions of violence, and a good sprinkling of cursing
stanley dreams of burning. flames hot enough to burn blue licking around him until theres none of him left.
he thinks the first time he told ford he really was a bad kid they were seven or eight. ford told him that he was wrong. stan gave him a noogie and they laughed it off.
he doesn't remember most of his dreams. still he often wakes up feeling like he's just got away with murder.
lying on his brother's bed with snow eddying outside the window, stanley was distantly aware that if he shifted to lie on his side, the fresh burn on his shoulder would hurt less. he didn't move. a fuck-up like him didn't deserve small comforts.
he burns up into nothing that night.
the phrase 'self-esteem' wasn't really present in stan's vocabulary until well after he'd got settled in to life as mr. mystery. talking about that sort of things with kids was not in style when he and ford were young, and for the first decade or so of adulthood he was too busy surviving to really give it any thought.
dreams are strange things, anyway. sometimes you do awful, awful things in them, as if watching yourself do it, any sense of horror completely absent. surely you'd never really do that! if all the people in your dreams are really you, if the you in your dreams is really you, then you must be some sort of monster, right?
stan tried to get in on the self help game back in '78: it seemed like an easy grift. when he found some junk workbook called SHAME 'N' YOU at a garage sale the first year he was in gravity falls, he dismissed it as more of the same. he still slipped it into his jacket. good for spare toilet paper if nothing else.
dreams of fire mix with dreams of him trapped in a colorless motionless place. it feels like home.
stan didn't like sleeping much in that first year or two working on the portal. at night he would sit in the kitchen desperately trying to understand the physics books he got at the library, alternating coffee and vodka, rather than sleep. he certainly didn't deserve to rest, not until he could clean up his mess. it only seemed fair.
occasionally among the dreams of fire and stifled screams there's feelings of comfort. some are memories of old hijinks with sixer but out of order with the colors brighter and warmer, and some are pink flashes of a sense of being protected. stan remembers these as little as he remembers the flames.
he found the phrase 'negative self-talk' not in the first book from the garage sale, but a similar one a few years later. stan scoffed at the concept. how could thinking that shit be a problem if it was all true?
his dreams are a bit less remarkable once the little guy starts working around the shack. it's nothing stan notices at the time, nothing abrupt, but dreams about ice cream goats and missing deadlines for high school english papers begin to slip in among the flames. some he even remembers. they leave him less exhausted in the morning.
at some point, despite the years of headache and frustration, it started to feel like stan was making good progress on the portal. it was satisfying, mastering all the nerd junk he picked up from books well enough to get the damned thing rumbling again. he wouldn't let himself feel proud of it, but 'accomplished' might be in reach once his brother was back.
his dreams are all over the place while the little ones are there. vivid memories of glass shard beach, flames a brighter blue than theyve been all his life, and horrifying sequences of him hurting the children in impossible ways. the traces of them leave his heart racing in the first moments after waking up.
having the young twins around the house made things a hell of a lot livelier. between getting general weird feelings from them reminding him of his brother and going out of his mind with worry when they didn't manage to hide whatever magical death trap they'd found that day, stan hadn't worked this hard at keeping a poker face since the 80s, at least.
dreams of happy days on the beach mix with ford looking at him with fear and shoving him onto a scorching stovetop. during the day, watching the kids smack each other with empty paper towel tubes, he recognizes the feeling in his gut as jealousy.
soos got on fantastically with the twins. stan was thrilled to see the three joking together, and tried to quash any fuzzy feelings over it. surely he was glad to have a load off while another adult (the big goober being over twenty still felt strange) could watch out for them. ...he could think more about who exactly he could call his family once he allowed himself to rest.
his dream the afternoon that gideon broke in is strange even for him. his memory of it fades as quickly as most of them do, but during it he's distinctly aware of someones other than him in his mind. some of them feel comfortably familiar- the kid he'd watched grow up and the kids he'd like to- and one feels terrifyingly familiar. he desperately tries to reach them, manages to pat dipper on the back, and is awake in what feels like seconds.
the day that the shack's deed was stolen, stan felt like he hit rock bottom yet again. of course he put on a strong face (out of courtesy) for the kids, and for soos (who probably knew better by now), and for soos' grandmother (who still intimidated him a little), but it was damned hard. thirty years of blood, sweat and tears over that machine, and a flimsy piece of paper with his brother's signature was still all there was keeping him off the street. all that work, added up to nothing. he couldn't help but see it as some kind of confirmation.
his dreams about jail are never pleasant. they're never true to life (though his memories of it are bad enough): something always twists partway through into some vast structure or impossibly tight space. they make him wake up nervous and ashamed.
he wouldn't say it to anyone, but stan loved cooking for other people. part of it was that he only ever ate enough to keep him moving when he was living alone (even well after things had settled in the shack). if it was for someone else, he actually thought about what the food would taste like, and, shockingly, he usually enjoyed it more. stan discovered this a while after soos started working there, but having the kids actually living at the house (not just there after school or whenever soos wanted to come over before his shift started), he was getting a lot more practice. it was nice.
stan dreams of being small and exhausted. he's giddy, he hasn't had an opportunity like this in decades- no, centuries! he runs around banging into every sharp object he can find, gleeful to have a new sucker to discard. the glee barely fades as the blue flames burn him out to wakefulness.
he makes bacon and eggs for breakfast.
later that day, he saw mabel stitching a sock puppet with her own face. he raised an eyebrow, but when she grinned at him he smiled back.
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35 & 46!
35. Who are your top 5 TV characters right now?
Oh Gosh! This is hard! I actually don't watch a whole lot of conventional TV (I'm more of a streaming TV watcher). Also, I have been HEAVY into Korean Dramas and Anime recently, so some of these may not ring a bell to most people. Let's see....
1. Hinata Kawamoto, "March Comes in Like a Lion" - I watched this show almost religiously on Netflix while processing my dad's death. The series itself is really amazing, and the manga is even better, but I love Hinata because no matter how hard life gets and how frustrated or angry she is, she never loses herself. She knows who she is, is proud of it, and has a family that loves and supports her. She also has this ability to care and empathize with others that makes me just want to hug her endlessly.
2. Choi Seung-kwon, "Itaewon Class" - He's a side character in this series, but he's one of my favorites because he meets the main character when they're both in prison. He is a former Korean gangster turned restaurant worker, and while he does struggle with leaving behind his old habits, he also genuinely cares about DanBam (the name of the restaurant) and the people he works with. He evolves over time and I just love how his arc progresses, even as a supporting character.
3. Stanley Hill, "Good Girls" - I had to go with someone outside of the girls, because all of them are my favorites for different reasons. Stanley, though, portrays a father and husband in a realistic, loving way. He and Ruby are SOLID, and even when things get insanely rough, he's with her 100%. Plus, he brings out a side that I don't feel is generally displayed with the men in Good Girls (with the exception, potentially, of Rio in later seasons with Beth) where even when he vehemently disagrees with Ruby's choices he still supports her. I have not yet seen all of Season 4, though, so PLEASE NO SPOILERS if this changes.
4. Kang Dan-i, "Romance is a Bonus Book" - another K-drama, and one I absolutely LOVE both for the premise of the show (it's on Netflix, highly recommend) and for the main character. Dan-i has gone through a really hard time recently in her life, and the series documents her efforts to a) find a job after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade, b) find her own sense of agency after her marriage and financial situation has imploded, and c) growing in her relationship with a childhood best friend and the other people she works with. Dan-i is diligent, hard-working, and also not afraid to call people on their shit when she's had enough. As a character, I love that she portrays a working woman and mother so realistically, while also showing she has her own passions and desires. Sometimes I want to shake her and tell her to ask for help, but that's part of what makes her real to me.
5. Devi Vishwakumar, "Never Have I Ever" - Devi is, quite honestly, a mess. However, especially given the premise of NHIE, I relate to her A LOT throughout the first season, even when I shake my head at her attempts to burn down her entire life rather than confront her emotions surrounding her mother, as well as her father's death. She is in no way perfect, but that's part of what I love about her. Some of the stuff in Season 2 made me want to scream, but at the same time I can see how it fits with Devi's MO and I love the fact that she grows across both seasons. Plus, how can I NOT love someone who says their life decisions are based on Megan Thee Stallion?
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46. Do you prefer to watch TV alone or with friends?
This really depends on the show and who I'm watching it with. My husband is not a fan of TV, period, so if I want to watch a show it's with my friends. Certain shows I watch by myself because their either a guilty pleasure (True Blood) or because they make me feel all of the things (Violet Evergarden or It's Okay to Not Be Okay come to mind). However, especially for comedic shows or dramedies, I typically watch with friends. One of my best friends and I watched our first episode of Good Girls together, and we were both hooked!
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theres-a-goldensky · 4 years
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16 + 2 Reddie Fic Recs pt. 2
I’m back and still on my Bill Hader bullshit, so here’s another round of Reddie fic recs, because I can’t stop reading and sometimes sifting through the insane amounts of fic is a nightmare. So if you feel my pain and need some (at least in my opinion) fun stories, then come along with me on a magical journey filled with men crying during sex, hypochondria, and your mom jokes.
As ever, feel free to reblog and check out my other rec lists for the following fandoms:
IT chapter 2 list part one - Reddie
Good Omens fic 
The Untamed list one and two - various pairings, mostly Wangxian
Various BL Series fic (fandoms: Love By Chance, TharnType, 2Moons series, My Engineer, Until We Meet Again, 2gether, History3: Trapped)
Or just head over to my bookmarks on AO3.
All my recs are completed, almost all of them are post-It chapter 2. * - denotes a favorite
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1. I killed a clown. AMA! by liesmyth - ~10,000 words, teen - The history of Eddie and Myra’s marriage shown through their posts on reddit. The voices here are great, and it really feels like reading the reddit forums, down to the people sleuthing through their past posts and comments to try and figure out if what they’re saying is real or an elaborate troll.
 r/relationships
Posted by u/martymcfly6xo 7 months ago
 My (39F) husband (39M) likes horrible stand-up comedy. How can I stop him from bringing this up in front of our mutual friends?
For the last year or so my husband has been watching a lot of stand-up comedy on youtube. I want him to have something relaxing to do (he works a lot and gets really invested in his ‘hands-on’ hobbies in a way I’m not sure is good for him) but I was very puzzled by this discovery as he likes very crass acts and that is certainly not the kind of humor hubby usually enjoys...
2. all of the kids back home believing much more than you do by eatcheeseliveforever - ~11,000 words, explicit - This is a fix-it fic, which is becoming more and more rare in this fandom as we collectively started deciding that Eddie Kaspbrak doesn’t need to be brought back to live, because he never died in the first place, dammit. It has some great pining by Richie. You can really feel his grief and desperation as he searches for a way to get Eddie back. The other Losers are great in this too, especially Mike with his whales.
"A boat, actually," murmured Mike.  "I'm on a whale-watching cruise."
Richie mouthed the words "whale watching cruise" to himself.  Empirically he knew such things existed, that they happened not far away from the coast where he lived, but it felt like several fucking galaxies away from where he was, surrounded by the ghosts of takeouts and blackouts past and the actual ghost-ghosts, who he couldn't step in or stub his toe on at three in the morning, but hurt so much worse.
"He said you've been googling resurrection rituals."
Richie scrounged through his pile of empties, hoping one wasn't.  "Bill talks too much."
"Richie."  A sigh, or a wave, or a really quiet whale.  "You're not going to find a resurrection ritual on Google."
"I've found hundreds," said Richie.  "Funny thing, though, they all seem to call for orgies.  Or virgin sacrifices.  Or sacrificing someone's virginity in an orgy.  I'm hoping Ben will volunteer as tribute."
3. * - you’ve got the answers to my confessions by QueerOnTilMorning - ~17,000 words, explicit - This is the good stuff right here. Richie accidentally sexts Eddie and Eddie is IN. TO. IT. This fic starts with excellent phone sex, there’s misunderstandings and confessions in the middle, and then it ends with super hot sex. There’s a brief part with karaoke that was a bit of a lull in the story, but doesn’t take away from how great the rest is.
     suck on ur tongue  
     show u how much I missd that mouth  
     when u start getting weak in the knees  
     thats when ill get on mine  
 He set the phone aside to unzip his pants, palming himself through his boxers, already half-hard.
 Then he froze.
 The text he had just replied to--it was what he'd expected Travis to say, but it wasn't how Travis would say it. That text began with a capital letter and contained punctuation. That text was from--
 "Oh, fuck, no," Richie whispered, and his phone rang.
 Incoming call: Eds
4. * -  L'Appel du Vide by Mackem - ~92,000 words, teen - I know, I know, almost 100k and no sex, but hear me out! The pining in this fic is so exquisitely beautiful and wrenching. Eddie’s POV is excellent and feels really spot on. The other Losers are well represented, especially Ben and Bev. In fact, the group dynamics here are almost as good as the relationship stuff. The later chapters bring in a subplot about the deadlights that I wasn’t that interested in, but it’s still done really, really well, and that’s only a side plot that doesn’t impact that exceptional story of Eddie and Richie figuring out how to stop being dummies.
Two messages, however, are from Stanley, sent to him privately. He opens them, and is met with a picture of Richie, apparently taken without him realising.
It shows him laughing, his eyes crinkled at the corners behind his glasses, and his smile bright and broad as a hand gestures wildly in the air. The other hand is in his hair, pushing it out of his eyes as he tilts his head back, displaying the line of his throat beneath his stubble.
The breath is punched from Eddie at the sight of it.
He stares at it for a long moment, surprised by the depth of his reaction. His stomach is swirling happily, a bubble of excitement growing at the pit, and he cannot help but feel a heated flush build at his cheeks.
It’s probably just because Richie looks like he’s enjoying himself. It’s good to see his friend having fun. That has to be it.
Then he reads Stan’s message.
Stan: He was talking about you. He does that a lot.
5. my love a beacon in the night - by zach_stone - ~4500 words, explicit - Richie is on the road doing shows through Christmas. His friends have a surprise for him. I know it’s almost Valentine’s Day, but it’s never the wrong time for a fluffy Christmas story imo.
 “Yep, just got to my hotel,” Richie says. “Now I’m getting ready for my big Christmas Eve plans.”
 Eddie snorts. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
 “Well according to my TV guide, they’re doing a rerun of The Mistletoe Promise, so I’m all fuckin’ set,” Richie says, grinning when Eddie laughs. On Eddie’s end of the line, he hears the sound of cars passing by, the muffled chatter of people, and says, “Are you outside?”
 “Huh? Oh, yeah,” Eddie says.
 Richie glances at the clock on the nightstand. It’s after ten; Eddie’s not one to be wandering around Times Square after dark. He frowns slightly. Eddie’s been unusually vague about his holiday plans, so Richie has no clue what he’s up to this evening. Not that it’s any of his business. Maybe he’s started seeing someone and is spending the holidays with them. Richie has a sudden image of Eddie, arm-in-arm with some generically pretty woman, taking in the lights and decorations around the city. It opens a pit in his stomach.
6. Coming Back and Coming Out: Richie Tozier's 2019 by Lunatical - ~2000 words, teen - I genuinely adore the mixed media fics that this fandom has spawned. This one is an excerpt from a magazine interview with Richie as he restarts his career.
Slouched on his couch in a cheesy Hawaiian shirt and torn-up jeans, Richie Tozier looks exactly like the manchild he is describing himself to be. Next to him, sitting up straight and dressed in a lovely suit that most people would consider appropriate for an interview, his husband rolls his eyes.
When we scheduled this interview, Tozier insisted we hold it at their house, citing a desire for the interview to be “as chill as possible”—in his own words, of course. He argued that seeing the two of them in their usual environment would help me get a better idea of the kind of relationship they have. After walking into their apartment and seeing the way they’ve decorated the place, I have to admit that I can understand why.
7. baby, there’s no other superstar by kaspbrakziers - ~7000 words, mature - Another mixed media fic that shows the progression of Richie and Eddie’s relationship and Richie’s career through tweets, texts, and interviews. Eddie not knowing how to turn off the capslock on his phone absolutely sent me.
Search history
Today Sunday, 13 November 2016
should i get a divorce? - Google Search
Unhappily Married: Should I get a divorce? - Yahoo Answers
10 Signs Your Marriage Is Over - Buzzfeed
how to divorce? - Google Search
How To File For Divorce (With Pictures) - wikiHow
how to divorce someone without them getting angry? – Google Search
can you divorce someone without telling them? - Google Search
8. Goes on Trips for the Scenery by InkandOwl - ~4500 words, teen - Eddie dies and then comes back to life and tries to get some perspective. I liked the conversations between Eddie and Richie and then way that Eddie starts to take care of himself. The end is really sweet.
If cosmic power and a literal alien space clown’s death wasn’t going to bring him back to life, Eddie was certain that the terrible pain of hearing Richie beg, his tears dropping onto Eddie’s face, probably would’ve done it. He feels sick just thinking about it. About what it all means. “Yeah, Rich, I will.” He could throw a jab at him, tell him something about eating like an adult for once, but he wants to be easy with him right now. Richie deserves it. “You’ll text, right?”
Richie looks down at the prepaid cricket phone in Eddie’s hand and laughs, “There’s no fucking way that thing gets texts.”
“It does.” Eddie grins, “You could call too.”
The fight drains from Richie, his shoulder slumping and he sighs, “Yeah, Eds, I’ll call.”
9. cause i'm about to blow that back out by thotgreeves - ~5000 words, explicit - Here, have some porn. Eddie wears lingerie and Richie loses his goddamn mind. Features submissive top Richie and his unending boner for Eddie.
Richie really should have learnt to never underestimate Eddie Kaspbrak by now. It had come close to killing Richie once, but Eddie might actually be trying to finish him off.
Because the other perk of always letting Eddie go ahead of him was that it gave Richie a prime view of Eddie's ass. Eddie knew about this part and was okay with it. He was wearing a high-waisted pair of slacks that Richie was pretty sure came from the women's section, slightly loose in the legs but nicely filled out by his ass. Richie had been very vocal in the past about how hot they got him, which signaled that Eddie definitely wanted to have sex tonight, and that was already enough to make Richie's dick twitch in excitement. He hadn't been prepared for the finishing blow.
Richie's eyes were fixed, pendulum-like, on how Eddie's slacks were hugging his butt perfectly with every step he took, tight enough to show off the outline of his underwear. Only the folds didn't sit where Richie had expected them to. Instead, Richie realized, his mouth going dry, that in the absence of boxers, there was only a V-shaped crease running from Eddie's hips to between his asscheeks, which could only mean-
Eddie was wearing a thong.
10. * - I’ll Be Homo For Christmas by Amuly - ~15,000 words, explicit - Bill and Audra get a divorce, so Bill moves into Richie’s house with him. Eddie, watching all of this from New York, where he’s still married to Myra, is super, super ok and fine with it in every way.
Except then Richie started posting.
Just stupid shit, mostly with Bill. It wasn’t even real. Eddie knew Bill wasn’t gay and him and Richie were just fucking around ‘for the ‘gram!’ But the more posts Eddie scrolled past on Richie’s Instagram—
 Bill in the kitchen swatting at Richie with a spatula.
 Richie and Bill at the pound, Richie rating dogs on adoptability, Richie begging Bill to adopt a dog with him.
 Richie in the morning with bedhead, smiling blearily into the camera as Bill…
Well. Eddie couldn’t even remember what stupid thing Bill was supposed to be doing in the background of that photo because his eyes couldn’t get past Richie’s bedhead and shirtless torso, chest hairs creeping up towards his collarbones and the little dip at the base of his throat.
Eddie hadn’t thought he was homophobic. But he must have some unresolved issues with it, because he got a stomachache every time he looked at that photo of Richie. Eddie popped a Tums and resolved to talk about it with his therapist.
11. A High-Five is a Hug You Can Hit by Amuly - ~26,000 words, explicit - This fic shows us times throughout their friendship when Eddie and Richie would invent reasons to touch each other without even knowing why. This author feels the same bone deep conviction about Richie crying during sex that I do, and I greatly appreciate that. Plus, all of their stories are fantastic, including this one.
“You know, one of the symptoms of hypothermia is feeling like you’re warm. So like, your body gets so cold that it gets hot, and then you start taking off your clothes-”
“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Eddie?” Richie shot back at him without turning around.
“Why don’t you ask your sister how much she liked it last week!” Eddie hollered up at him. Richie just flipped him off without looking. That kinda… bugged Eddie. What the fuck did Richie think he was doing leading up the group with Bill? Why was he stuck back here with Stan? Eddie glanced over at Stan, who was trudging tiredly through the woods alongside him, breath puffing out in little clouds of smoke.
“Okay, Stan?”
Stan glanced over at him, confused. Then he shrugged. “Yeah, fine. Cold.”
“Well that’s better than feeling warm.” And now Eddie was back on track. “Because, if anyone starts feeling warm, they should tell the others immediately. That’s a sign of hypothermia. And we have to warm you up. But you have to do it gradually, you can’t just jump in like, a pot of boiling water-”
12. * - fall apart of stay intact by kaspbrak_kid - ~19,000 words, teen - A more melancholy take on the Christmas fic. This story takes Richie’s self-esteem issues and mental problems and amps them up in a way that feels entirely realistic. The gang comes together to celebrate Christmas, and everyone is walking on eggshells because last Christmas was a bad one for Richie. Also, Eddie moves into the house literally right next to Richie’s, and I find that detail endlessly charming.
“Five minutes ago. I called you, and you didn’t answer. Because you were outside, apparently, fucking...stargazing in December! With no hat on!”
“It’s about the Vitamin D!” Richie says. Now that he’s moved a little, he can really feel the cold—his ears are aching, and his face is numb. “Reflecting off the moon, or something. I have seasonal depression, you know!”
“You have seasonal stupidity,” Eddie mutters, audibly rubbing his hands together. “Just get inside.”
“Yours or mine?” Richie jokes.
Eddie doesn’t get the memo. “Mine, obviously. I’ll make you hot chocolate.”
“Oh,” Richie says, and sits up. “Um. Okay, be right there.”
“Oh, thank god,” Eddie says, and hightails it to his back door, cursing about the cold.
13. evidence of a happier future by lagaudiere - 23,000 words, mature - I am here, leading the Jealous!Eddie revolution. Why aren’t there more fics about this. Have you SEEN Eddie Kaspbrak, can you IMAGINE him jealous? Make this happen, fandom. Anyway, in this one, Richie has a boyfriend back in LA. Eddie has trouble dealing with that as he tries to figure himself out and pick up the pieces of his life post-Derry.
“It’s not gonna be like Mike’s announcement, don’t worry,” Richie says hastily. “And it’s not like, a huge thing, so don’t make it a huge thing. But you guys are like, my best friends, and I just wanted you to know that I’m, uh. Gay.”
He turns up his palms and raises his eyebrows in a gesture that suggests a magician presenting his audience with an empty hat after making the rabbit disappear, and Eddie says, “Are you joking?”
“What? Jesus, no, Eddie.” Richie’s face falls, and Eddie instantly feels guilty. “I’m trying to be sincere here.”
“Sorry,” Eddie says immediately, feeling all of their friends looking at him with reproach. “I was just — if you weren’t, I wouldn’t think you should… joke about it.”
“Well, I am,” Richie says. He sounds slightly put out — and who wouldn’t be, Eddie scolds himself, by that ridiculous response. “I have all the gay credientials. I have a boyfriend, partner, whatever people say. I don’t really tell people because of the whole, stage persona, thing. But yeah.”
“Richie!” Bev’s voice breaks through the awkwardness, and she reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. “Thank you for telling us. Really.”
And the others all join in, a chorus of voices telling Richie they love him and they’re proud of him, and Ben is saying, “I wanna see a picture of the guy!” and Eddie’s throat feels like it’s closing up.
14. The ‘Do Not Fucking Touch Me’ Tour by MellytheHun - ~23,000 words, explicit - It’s Richie’s comeback special, and he makes it a big one. This...isn’t really a comedy show, but the author lampshades that. It’s an excuse to have Richie talk about how much he loves each of his friends individually, and it’s extremely entertaining. Richie doesn’t know that Eddie is in the audience watching it all.
“Hey, uhm… Eddie… he couldn’t reschedule his thing? He - I mean... it… it was really that important?”
She feels awful for him immediately, but not wanting to spoil what would ultimately be a lovely surprise, she tells him, “I’m sorry, Rich. He said it was urgent. He was really sorry about it.”
Her phone buzzes with a text from Eddie right as Richie curses under his breath, missing the noise. She clutches her phone more tightly in her fist, knowing Eddie is wondering where his seat is going to be; she bought him a separate ticket, elsewhere in the theatre, so Richie wouldn’t catch him sitting among them, as he will absolutely, inevitably look over to the Losers for most of the show.
“Okay,” Richie surrenders sadly, “Uh - I guess he’ll see it eventually, right?”
Smiling forlornly at him, she pats his arm, and tells him, “don’t worry, Richie. Your genius will inevitably be forced upon us all.”
He smiles at her, gives her a kiss on the cheek, and when Bill jokingly asks why he didn’t get one, Richie flips him off, and reminds them to treat themselves to the bar in the lobby.
Once he’s backstage, Beverly takes her phone out, and emails Eddie his ticket, explains that she’s already convinced Richie he’s not coming, and to make sure he doesn’t show up too early, or Richie will notice.
15. The List by cissues - ~7000 words, teen - Eddie finds a list he wrote as a teenager. Richie tries his best to fulfill them all. This is very sweet.
‘ All the things I want. Everything I’m not allowed to have. A perfect summer. ”
The words hit gentler than he thought they would, but they still hit and he finds himself blinking away at a wetness at the corner of his eye. He wipes at it and sniffles and Richie peers sidelong at him to make sure he’s okay. He is, he’s fine, and Richie never dotes on him when things are, generally, okay. Only when he needs it, which is one of the many things he loves about what they have now.
“This is… this is like a fucking  bucket list  for the most repressed child in the world.” Richie says, breathless.
Eddie rolls his eyes to hide the sting. “You’re looking at him,” he says, bitter. Richie frowns at him but turns back to the paper. Another thing Eddie loves, Richie never takes his trauma-induced bait. His knee-jerk reactions developed over years of what he’s now comfortable enough to call abuse.
16. Richie Tozier Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions by DeadpanMage - ~2000 words, teen - This is a short one, but the transcript of this popular YT video format with Richie felt spot on in terms of characterization and Richie’s voice.
[Back to the text screen: “So WIRED asked Richie Tozier some of the internet’s burning questions.” Cut back to Richie, now holding a poster board with several Google autocomplete searches half covered.]
Richie: I’ve undergone something of a rebranding in the past year, so I wonder how many of these questions are going to be super irrelevant-slash-embarrassing. Probably all of them. Let’s get started! [He tears the covering off of the first question.] Alright, that’s not bad. “How to pronounce Richie Tozier?” Well, we’re only on question one and I’ve already said it like a hundred times so there you go. And that’s “Richie Tozier” spelled J-O-H-N M-U-L-A-N-E-Y, so if you’ve got any complaints be sure to send them that way. Next question!
You can check out a larger list of stories I’ve enjoyed in my AO3 bookmarks. And finally, if you’re interested, here are the two fics I’ve written:
1. Waiting For a Sign - ~6000 words, explicit - Eddie meets Richie again and comes to the startling realization that he totally wants to hit that.
Maybe if Richie wasn’t famous, Eddie could have found a way to let it go. A couple furtive jerk off sessions in the shower after he got back to New York and the image of Richie’s big hands and wide smile and improbably flattering stubble would fade from his mind.
But Richie was famous, and the internet never forgot.
Eddie lasted three days before giving in and typing ‘Richie Tozier’ into the YouTube search bar. Just seeing Richie in the thumbnails was enough to make Eddie’s heart thud, what the fuck. He had to scroll past a bunch of news videos about Richie's supposed mental breakdown, but after that he landed on some old stand-up.
Before he clicked on the first video, he got up and made sure that the door of his study was locked. Then he turned off the lights and put on a pair of earbuds.
Fake It ‘Til You Make It - ~21,000 words, explicit - It’s that totally relatable situation where the man you’re secretly in love with is a celebrity who just came out and now needs a fake boyfriend to keep himself in the spotlight. Eddie offers to help out of the goodness of his heart and not because he’s insanely fucking jealous.
Eddie froze, breath catching in his throat.
Richie looked...really good.
Bev’s influence was obvious. His hair, which had been unkempt and shaggy, a perfect match for his stoner permakid schtick, was cut much shorter and neater. His formerly unruly stubble somehow now emphasized the sharp cut of his jaw instead of obscuring it.
He wore new glasses, Eddie noticed. Slim silver metal frames instead of his giant, clunky plastic ones. The fitted black sweater and dark blue jeans were simple, but made his shoulders look impossibly broad and his legs miles long.
Fuck everything and Beverly Marsh in particular.
LINK TO MY FIRST SET OF REDDIE RECS 30+ FICS
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insanityclause · 4 years
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The Broadway League and the American Theatre Wing have announced that they will present the 2020 Tony Awards this year after all, in a digital format. Details are scarce, but here's what we know: The newly determined cutoff date will be February 19, and therefore, the last two shows to open before the shutdown, West Side Story and Girl From the North Country, will not be eligible (the reason being they didn't invite enough voters to see them), nor will Six, which was supposed to open the night theaters closed.
Still, there are 18 productions and dozens of worthy actors and designers left to get nominated in 26 categories. Here, we look at the performers from the season, and explain the various Tonys rules for categories that may not seem particularly full. For a look at the eligible shows, click here.
Best Actor in a Musical
Eligible Artists:
Chris McCarrell, The Lightning Thief Aaron Tveit, Moulin Rouge!
Yup, there are the only two eligible nominees, which is, as far as I can tell, a first for this category. The closest similarity I could find was in 1970, when three actors were nominated. There's more of a precedence in the Best Actress category — back in 1995, Glenn Close and Rebecca Luker were the only two nominees, with Close winning for Sunset Boulevard (it looks like they deliberately chose not to nominate Megan Mullally that year for How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying), and before that, Gwen Verdon and Miyoshi Umeki went head to head in 1959, with Verdon winning for Redhead.
There are a few options here. They could eliminate the category, which doesn't seem too fair. They could combine it with Best Actress in a Musical and create a nongendered category, which would look admirable and progressive, two qualities that are the complete antithesis of what the Tonys have proved themselves to be year after year, so this probably won't happen.
Or, they could add two more performers who had previously been ruled as featured: Daniel J. Watts, Ike in Tina: The Tina Turner Musical, and Sean Allan Krill, Steve in Jagged Little Pill. But are these leading roles? You can make more of a case for Watts than Krill, and that's where problems may arise.
So unless they revise this previous determinations, combine acting categories, or do away with the whole thing altogether, it looks like either McCarrell or Tveit, both first-time nominees, are taking home their first Tony.
Best Actress in a Musical
Eligible Artists:
Karen Olivo, Moulin Rouge! Elizabeth Stanley, Jagged Little Pill Kristin Stokes, The Lightning Thief Adrienne Warren, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical
There are a variety of Tonys rules when it comes to the number of slots in a category. If there are nine eligible nominees, there will be five slots. If there are fewer than nine, there will be four slots. But I can find nothing about four or fewer eligible nominees (see above), which leads me to believe that if the Tonys keep everything traditional, this will likely be the lineup.
But even if they do combine the Best Actor and Best Actress category, we all know who's probably going to win.
Best Actor in a Play
Eligible Artists:
Ian Barford, Linda Vista Andrew Burnap, The Inheritance Brian Cox, The Great Society Charlie Cox, Betrayal Jake Gyllenhaal, Sea Wall/A Life Tom Hiddleston, Betrayal Samuel H. Levine, The Inheritance Jonathan Pryce, The Height of the Storm Campbell Scott, A Christmas Carol Michael Shannon, Frankie and Johnny in the Clair De Lune Kyle Soller, The Inheritance Tom Sturridge, Sea Wall/A Life
With more than nine potential nominees, this category will have five slots. It's interesting to note that there are three men from The Inheritance here. Back when that was announced, everyone looked at the ruling askance: in a full season, they would probably cancel each other out. But now, all three actors from The Inheritance actually have a great chance of getting nominated.
Still, determinations for Grand Horizons and A Soldier's Play have not yet been made, and we can assume that James Cromwell (Grand Horizons) and Blair Underwood (A Soldier's Play) will land in the leading category, with David Alan Grier, who was also above the title in the latter, being placed in the featured category.
Best Actress in a Play
Eligible Artists:
Zawe Ashton, Betrayal Eileen Atkins, The Height of the Storm Joaquina Kalukango, Slave Play Audra McDonald, Frankie and Johnny in the Clair De Lune Mary-Louise Parker, The Sound Inside Marisa Tomei, The Rose Tattoo
Determinations have not been made for Grand Horizons and My Name Is Lucy Barton, but we can assume that Jane Alexander (Grand Horizons) will be placed in this category, as will Lucy Barton's sole performer, Laura Linney. Even with those two additions, this category only has eight eligible nominees, so there will only be four available slots.
The featured acting categories are where it gets dicey every year, since anyone who's not ruled as a lead can be featured. Therefore, all four featured acting categories have more than 9 potential nominees, so they will each have at least five slots (more if there are ties). Here are many of the options.
Best Featured Actor in a Musical
Eligible Artists:
Danny Burstein, Moulin Rouge! Antonio Cipriano, Jagged Little Pill Jorrel Javier, The Lightning Thief Derek Klena, Jagged Little Pill Ryan Knowles, The Lightning Thief Sean Allan Krill, Jagged Little Pill Tam Mutu, Moulin Rouge! Sahr Ngaujah, Moulin Rouge! James Hayden Rodriguez, The Lightning Thief Ricky Rojas, Moulin Rouge! Daniel J. Watts, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical
As mentioned above, Krill and Watts landed in this category automatically because they're listed below the title. Their respective producers can repetition to have them considered as lead. Without them, it's going to be a Moulin Rouge!-heavy category.
Best Featured Actress in a Musical
Eligible Artists:
Kathryn Gallagher, Jagged Little Pill Celia Rose Gooding, Jagged Little Pill Robyn Hurder, Moulin Rouge! Dawnn Lewis, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical Lauren Patten, Jagged Little Pill Sarah Beth Pfeifer, The Lightning Thief Jalynn Steele, The Lightning Thief Myra Lucretia Taylor, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical Skye Turner, Tina: The Tina Turner Musical
We can see three Jagged nominees and two from Tina to round out the category. Tough call.
Best Featured Actor in a Play
Eligible Artists:
Eddie Arnold, Betrayal Ato Blankson-Wood, Slave Play Grantham Colman, The Great Society James Cusati-Moyer, Slave Play' Emun Elliott, The Rose Tattoo Sullivan Jones, Slave Play John Benjamin Hickey, The Inheritance Paul Hilton, The Inheritance Paul Alexander Nolan, Slave Play Jim True-Frost, Linda Vista Troy West, Linda Vista
This list will exponentially grow when they make determinations for A Soldier's Play and Grand Horizons. We can expect that actors like David Alan Grier, Jerry O'Connell, Nnamdi Asomugha, Billy Eugene Jones, and McKinley Belcher III (A Soldier's Play) and Michael Urie, Maulik Pancholy, and Ben McKenzie (Grand Horizons) will fit in here. Not to mention the remaining male ensemble members of The Inheritance, The Rose Tattoo, and The Great Society.
Best Featured Actress in a Play
Eligible Artists:
LaChanze, A Christmas Carol Chalia La Tour, Slave Play Irene Sofia Lucio, Slave Play Andrea Martin, A Christmas Carol Annie McNamara, Slave Play Sally Murphy, Linda Vista Caroline Neff, Linda Vista Lois Smith, The Inheritance Chantal Thuy, Linda Vista Cora Vander Broek, Linda Vista
This category will also probably include Priscilla Lopez and Ashley Park from Grand Horizons. The nominees can go in any direction, but I'm fully expecting the legendary Lois Smith, who could very well turn 90 before these awards are actually presented (her birthday is November 3), to take home her first-ever, long-overdue Tony.
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duncanwrites · 3 years
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All the books I read in 2020, reviewed in two sentences or less
My 2020 in reading was, naturally, a little strange. I had lots of long pauses, did a bad job of keeping track of everything I read, used an e-reader for the first time, and read more for work than I usually do.
So these may not be in strict chronological order as they usually are, and there may be a few missing, but here’s the list, as per tradition:
Rising Tide - John M. Barry: This history of the Mississippi floods of 1927 and the resulting changes in how the US deals with natural disasters is one of those stories about how politics and personality can become a part of the concrete world, and essential for understanding the racial dynamics of disaster response. Well-told, and worth reading. 
The Consultant's Calling - Geoffrey M. Bellman: A very useful recommendation from a trusted friend that now has a long-term spot in my office shelf. This book isn't only about consulting, it also offers great thoughts about finding your place and impact in organizations in general.
Range - John Epstein: I think Range is the nonfiction book that had the second- greatest impact on my thinking about myself this year (stay tuned for number 1!): I've always approached my professional and political work as a generalist, and for a long time I felt like that approach was leading me to a dead end. Reading this convinced me that I could be effective and even more useful with my fingers in a lot of different pies, and nudged me to keep searching for my most effective place in the movement.
The Accusation - Bandi: A harrowing work of realist fiction from North Korea that shows the toll authoritarian hero-worship takes on the soul.
The Underground Railroad - Colson Whitehead: I found that the quality of The Underground Railroad did not quite match its notoriety. It felt like two books awkwardly joined, where the more grounded approach to the emotional and interpersonal stakes of slavery and freedom was attached to a poorly-explored fantasy device.
Maus - Art Spiegelman: So much more than a book about the Holocaust, Maus is about parents and how pain is handed down between generations.
I Love Dick - Chris Kraus: After a long enough time, it becomes hard to evaluate books that are meant as a provocation as well as storytelling, but even 20 years on, it's not hard to see why I Love Dick brought us so much of the style and voice of feminist writing on the internet. A unique, itchy, sticky piece of work.
Bloodchild - Octavia Butler: Whenever I see an Octavia Butler book in a used book store, I buy it. This collection of short stories is a fantastic example for what transgressive, visionary speculative fiction should aspire to.
King Leopold's Ghost - Adam Hochschild: What I love about this book and the other I've read by Hochschild (Bury the Chains_ is that he very carefully merges deep explorations of systems of violence with the way that they can be undone by the people who participate in them. King Leopold's Ghost is as much about Belgium's murderous plunder of the Congo as it is about the successful global movement against it.
Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon: Priory of the Orange Tree is built on a strong foundation, melding Eastern and Western dragon stories into one universe, but couldn't seem to tie all of its threads together in a compelling way by the end.
Desiring the Kingdom - James K. A. Smith: Smith's point about meaning and desire being embedded in every day practices is a valuable one, but I think I may be just too far outside of his target audience of religious teachers and thinkers to get the most out of his explorations here.
City of Brass, Kingdom of Copper, Empire of Gold (The Daevabad Trilogy) - S. A. Chakraborty: This series is exceptional, and some of my favorite books of any kind that I read this year; I certainly think I recommended them more often than anything else I read in 2020. A high fantasy built on Islamic and Arab cultural iconography, the characters are insightfully developed, the world building grows with precise pacing, and the themes of intergenerational trauma, and sectarianism are handled with expert delicacy.
Leadership and the New Science - Meg Wheatley: While I appreciate the effort to apply metaphors developed from scientific paradigm shifts to provoke paradigm shifts of thinking in other areas of work, I think this book strains its chosen metaphors a bit too far to be useful.
The American Civil War: A Military History - John Keegan: I appreciate that there's a value to these kinds of military analyses of conflicts, but I found this book's neutral tone - and sometimes admiring takes - towards the Confederacy off-putting. Two things I did take from it: the outcome of the war was not certain at the beginning, and speed is truly a critical part of winning conflicts.
To Purge This Land with Blood - Stephen Oates: This was the first substantial reading I had ever done about John Brown, and Oates' book made it very clear why he is still one of the American historical figures most worth talking about today. The contradictions, complexities, and unimpeachable truths caught up in his raids are almost too many to name, but I think he is one of the people most worth thinking about when considering what actually changes the world.
Normal People - Sally Rooney: Anyone who denies that this book is anything less than a truly great novel is not telling the truth, or does not actually care about the feelings people feel. It is a work of keen emotional observation, and perfect, tender language, as well as a pleasingly dirty book -- and there is nothing I would change about it.
Conversations With Friends - Sally Rooney: Still a banger, I think Conversations with Friends struggles somewhat to get to its point, and has less of the pleasing depth and ambiguity of Normal People. Still worth your time and attention, I think.
The Glass Hotel - Emily St. John Mandel: I loved Station Eleven, and I can't imagine having to follow it up, and I unfortunately think The Glass Hotel doesn't quite accomplish all it set out to do. It wandered, hung up on a few strong images, but never progressed towards a point that needed to be made, and I finished it feeling underwhelmed.
The Water Dancer - Ta-Nehisi Coates: Coates is an essential nonfiction writer who can turn a phrase to make devastating, memorable points - but I thought his novel failed to do very many of the things that make his nonfiction great.
A Visit From The Goon Squad - Jennifer Egan: Someone once recommended this book to me as a way to study voice in character development - it is certainly that, as well as a brutally efficient window into hope, fame, and aging.
Trick Mirror - Jia Tolentino: The best parts of Trick Mirror show why Jia Tolentino is one of the writers most worth reading today: she knows how to find the experiences and people that wormhole you into dimensions of American culture that you might not otherwise think carefully about. While I think some of the essays in the book are weaker than her usual work, overall it is still terrific, and her essay on Houston rap, evangelical culture, and drugs is one of the best anythings I read all year.
My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell: I feel like I'm on very shaky ground making any definitive takes about a book like this that is so fundamentally about gendered violence and what it means to be a victim of that violence. But I will say that I think it's important to recognize how power and charisma can be used to make you want something that actually hollows out your soul.
Prozac Nation - Elizabeth Wurtzel: Without a doubt, this is the nonfiction book that had the greatest personal impact on my life in 2020, and I have much longer things I've written about it that I will probably never share. While I've not ever been to the extremes she describes here, Wurtzel describes so many things that I clearly remember feeling that the shock of recognition still hasn't worn off.
The New Jim Crow - Michelle Alexander: In truth, we should all be shaking with rage at the American justice system every single day. This is certainly not the only book to explain why, but it does a particularly good job of explaining both the deep roots, and rapid expansion of the system we need to dismantle.
The Martians - Kim Stanley Robinson: Getting another little taste of the world Robinson built in the Mars Trilogy only made me want to drop everything and read them again. Well-made, but not stand-alone short stories that are worth reading if you've finished the novels and aren't ready to leave the formally-Red yet.
The Wind’s Twelve Quarters - Ursula K. Le Guin: One of the things that makes Le Guin so special is the sparseness of her prose and world building, and her genius is very much evident in her short stories.
Matter - Iain M. Banks: This is the second Culture series book I've read by Banks, and once again I thought it was inventive, satisfyingly plotted, but not so heady to be imposing. A very solid read.
Ogilvy On Advertising - David Ogilvy and Ogilvy On Advertising in the Digital Age - Miles Young: The original Ogilvy on Advertising is  frustratingly smug but at least delivers plain and persuasive versions of advertising first principles. Ogilvy on Advertising in the Digital Age is also frustratingly smug, but is mainly useful as an example of the hubris and narcissism of contemporary advertising executives.
Goodbye to the Low Profile - Herb Schmertz: Schmertz was the longtime public affairs director for Mobil Oil, and in this book he talks about how they worked to manage public debate about the oil industry, without realizing that he's writing a confession. Reading this it is abundantly clear how the oil industry's commitment to making deception respectable led to the collapse of the American public sphere.
The Lean Startup - Eric Ries: I was surprised by how much I liked this book, and wish more people who wanted to start political projects would read it. The Lean method is a way of building organizations that are ruthlessly focused on serving their base of supporters, and evaluate their work against real results - and I think we all could use more of those.
Zero To One - Peter Thiel: Another book that reads like a confession when perhaps not intended to, Zero To One's main point is that the point of building businesses should be to build monopolies, and that competition is actually bad. A great starting point for understanding what's gone wrong in America's tech economy.
The Mother of All Questions - Rebecca Solnit: Of the many things to cherish about Solnit as a writer, the one I needed most when I re-read this book is her ability to gently but doggedly show other ways of imagining the world, and ourselves in it.
Native Speaker - Chang-Rae Lee: I think this is the third time I've read this novel, and the time I've enjoyed it the least: somehow on re-re-reading, the core metaphors became overbearing and over-used, and the plot and characters thinner.
Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller: There are several excellent entries in the sub-genre of classic tales re-told from the perspective of silent women characters, but this is the first I've read re-told from a man's perspective - in this case, the likely-lover of Achilles in the Iliad, Patroclus. While not necessarily a groundbreaking work of literature, it is a very well-executed one that tells a compelling story about how violence can destroy men who carry it out.
Uprooted - Naomi Novik: What makes Uprooted so engrossing is that its magical world feels grounded, and political: magic has consequences for the individuals who use it, and further consequences based on their place in the world. What makes it frustrating is the overwhelming number of things the author has happening in the story, and the difficulty they have bringing them to a conclusion.
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reddogf13 · 3 years
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Runaway to the Circus ch 1
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Pennywise x Beverly
summery: on the road for years since she turned 18, Beverly unintentionally returned to Derry. looking for work to support her continued travels she hears of a visiting circus hiring. wanting better support on her homeless road travels she things the circus life would be perfect for her. unfortunately she realizes too late who runs the place and that something hunts the circus staff.
status: In progress
rated: M - fowl language and gore
previous chap: None
next chap:  TBA
_____________________________________
~ch:1 The runaway~
Beverly walked down the long empty road freshly wet after light rain fall. Sticking to walk the roads edge over the ditch beside it she usually followed for safety. The dirt ditch filled with run off rain water from the solid streets. Looking over the grey skys between the large pines partially hidden by fog sweeping in. taking a deep breath of the refreshing chilled forest air. Shivering into shifting the backpack on her shoulders. She both loved and hated walks like this.
So peaceful, but took a toll on her wandering body. The rain could be especially harsh even if it weren't a hard shower. Because unlike most she had no home and hadn't had one for the past 8 years. The weather was always a cause for concern when on the road. Taking shelter where ever she could from spots under bridges to a fast food places if they allowed her to stay. After so long she had gotten used to the open road life. Preferring to stay away from city's with many people wandering around. Some weren't so kind to those who were homeless. Although, it wasn't like she had such great faith in humanity before her hitting the road.
People were the whole reason she left, specifically her father. Among the many other extremes she faced in that town Derry. Hearing her story some would say her father was the least of her issues there. One summer she had made fresh new friends with a bunch of other kids. Calling themselves the losers club after everyone cast them out. Others like Henry bowers practically hunting them for sport to fulfill his psychopathic tendency's. One of them named Ben who escaped from Henry carving into his stomach with a pocket knife.
The only good that came of that was Beverly running into him and a few others patching him up. Helping bill, Richie, Eddie, and Stanley shoplift from the drugstore for medical supplies. Soon after that they helped mike being attacked by Henry down by the creek. They didn't know what was really haunting Derry at the time. Why no adults cared for there suffering. Why no one bothered with why so many children went missing. Bills little brother Georgie being one of them that his own parents stopped caring after a year.
All because of IT, Pennywise the dancing clown as he called himself. Red hair flared up into three sections. Silver Victorian looking suit with red pompoms, white ruffled edges, and a full white ruffled collar. Pure white gloves matching his pure white face paint, or actually his skin. The white broken by strong red markings crossing his lips to go from the corners up toward his eyes and over. Golden soul staring eyes that could lock anybody for a mere moment. Long enough to be grabbed for a torturous devouring.
She didn't know what IT was, but he wasn't human. Some monster who hibernated for around 30 years before cropping up again to terrorize the town. Devouring the children before his next long rest. She had to face him multiple times along with the other losers he hunted. He tried and tried to scare her, liking the fear to marinate all his meals. Fortunately or unfortunately for her, IT had no affect on her. She wasn't afraid of some monstrous clown. She had worse fears waiting for her back at home. Her father who at a few points tried to kill her. Forcing her to fight back in the bathroom by bashing him with a back toilet cover.
The clown came after to take her away for a final meal before his rest. Trapping her in the deadlights as if in a burning painful coma she couldn't wake from. Finally being saved by the other losers arriving. Fighting the clown down into a starving early sleep. They talked after the battle that involved making a blood promise if the clown returned. Afterwards they slowly separated to go home, with her being one of the last. Fearing what would greet her when she made it home. Would her father be dead after what she did? What would she do if he was?
That walk home felt longer then usual. A dark sinking feeling that was maybe lightened by a relief of being free. Getting lighter the closer she got that she felt for the first time she could breath around her apartment building. That disappearing the moment she entered to her father waiting on the couch. The injury on his head patched crudely from some home med kit. Glaring her down in dominating silence that had her heading straight to her bedroom to hide. Although that didn't matter with her room offering no protection by the lock-less door. Only the bathroom had a lock on it to separate her from her aggressive father.
Things were different after that day as he turned more aggressive. Maybe because she had escaped his grasp one too many times and rejected doing what he demanded. Seeing himself lose his grasp on her made him tighten the choke-hold he had on her life. One night she couldn't take fighting for her life anymore in this horrid place.
She hated running away, she was tired of running away and actually wanted to gain something for once. It became apparent to her that Derry would never give her the chance. Her father didn't truly love her like a father should. Her whole school labeled her the slut. Even the whole town called her a whore no mater what she did. The losers club was the only kindness she had in her 17 years of life. Becoming a runaway soon after her 17th birthday without sticking around to even finish high school. Dropping out as she fled Derry in the night with a bag of clothes. Some survival supplies she managed to scrounge up after carefully asking her friends. Even they didn't know she was running away. She preferred it that way to not drag out the goodbyes or for possible convincing to stay in Derry some other way. Leaving one last goodbye note in each of her friends lockers to explain she would be fine, but no longer in Derry to escape her fathers torment.
Traveling the road became her new life being far more forgiving despite its harsh side. Currently it had been unreasonably harsh in the weather department. Rain freezing her to the bone in soaked clothes as shelter seemed the hardest to find. A fear growing in her empty stomach that she was traveling down a barren road. that went on for far too long through the empty wilderness. She had a small amount of pocket change to buy a small cheese burger if she would just find a food place. Hell, even a gas station would do in offering up some on the road packaged sandwiches.
Grumbling in reply to her stomach growling at the thought of finding food. Two days she had been walking this road and it was getting serious on the lack of civilization she had run into. Should she turn back was one thought she considered. Possibly even settling down somewhere to channel her inner wilderness survival instincts. Hunt down a squirrel or rabbit for a filling meal to last her just enough down the road.
“fuck.” she thought. “maybe this road is new? No cracks, no potholes, not even slightly sun bleached. If it is new then that means nothings going to be built on it. A gas station may not even be built on it yet.” walking on and on down the smooth pavement. Her thoughts leading her to grow concerned about the lack of cars. A peaceful loneliness down the road could also be dangerous. All it took was the wrong car seeing a girl walking all alone down the road out in the middle of nowhere.
“wouldn't be the first time.” thinking back to a few cars trying to pick her up as a prostitute. remembering the other creepy black out cars following her around the dark streets she had to ditch by hopping a fence or two. Shoving the thoughts aside to focus again onto where she was heading. Gauging off where the sun was for a sense of time to decide if she should settle down for the night or not.
“if I sleep out here it could end up taking me another day or two to reach any kind of town. I already haven't eaten food for two days now and my water bottle is about empty.” sighing to herself over getting into this position. She should have checked a map somewhere to make sure this road actually ended up somewhere in a reasonable walking time. This was a problem she hadn't learned from in her entire years on the road.
There was always excitement in freely going where ever her heart desired. Never having to fear of someone looming over her to force her into a decision she didn't want. Freedom had a bit of a price however such as situations like this. Long walks with no rest in the middle of nowhere or needing to pass through a sketchy part of town. This much traveling relied on snatching work when you could to afford supplies. Skipping out on work meant skipping out on food down the road. Getting work made harder for Beverly keeping to the road. No high school diploma and requesting temporary work that pays under the table.
“soon as I reach some place I have to get a job.” rubbing her arms to warm herself against the cold air. The sun slipping down to fill the sky in various warm colors into the approaching night. “A couple dollars wont get me far.” squinting her eyes to the horizon when she saw a strange light. “something shiny? A chunk of glass way out here?” questioning what it was.
Eyes going wide at realizing it was a street lamp. Picking up her pace to jog up to it in being thrilled to see a bridge that could lead someplace with people. When she reached it there was a sense of Déjà vu  coming over her. Rushing down a winding street that met with the entrance of a small town. Cars driving by while people walked home from ending their work day. Beverly wouldn't have the chance to find a job right now, then again. Spotting an open small corner store that she could buy some food for dinner. Maybe even managing to get a little paid work in unloading boxes for them.
Crossing the street she sensed that Déjà vu feeling, but why? What was causing it? Had she been in this small town before? Wouldn't surprise her as she visited many different towns in various states. Made sense that in her travels she may cross back through a town another time. Some places were pleasant enough she'd like to return for a short visit.
Heading inside the little corner store lit up by bright white lights hanging above. Heading first to snag a sandwich along side a large hot cup of coffee to keep her warm through the night.
Paying at the counter for the items before asking. “you guys have any small jobs available? Something small that you don't need a permanent employee?”
the old man at the counter shaking his head. “no, sorry. And honestly not even full jobs are available round here. Towns been getting smaller and smaller every week it seems. This place and the grocery store are the only two food selling places left. Not even a diner is around anymore and this place is only standing thanks to the gas station selling no food items.”
“shit, this place falling apart with the times.” sipping a bit of her coffee at the poor news. “Let me guess, the old factory's that kept this place a float moved on or closed?”
the old man giving a sadden nod. “exactly. Only a matter of time before I gotta pick up my house and move.” he sighed. “such a shame Derry might not exist much longer.”
that recognizable town name having Beverly almost choke on her coffee. “Derry? I am in Derry, Maine?” she asked the man to confirm.
“yes, why? You seem really surprised about it.”
“oh, I left here ages ago to travel the road through different states. Had no idea I had accidentally ended up back here.” thinking back on that strange road that she didn't remember being there as a child. “i came off that long road through the woods. Is it new?”
“oh wow, and yep. That road was just finished about a month or less ago. Townsfolk were hoping it'd bring a bit of life, but ironically it just convinced more to leave. One straight road leading directly to other roads that went to many city's near by doing far better then here.”
“no surprise. Derry wasn't exactly … safe.”
he quietly nodded in agreement. “only nice thing of recent was that traveling circus arriving off that road.”
“circus? Like the fair we usually get … or got.” unsure of if the visiting fair still arrived despite the circumstance.
“no, this is more the classical circus type. Tigers, bears, lions performing under the colorful big top inside the ring. They got wood wagons for their country travels on the roads. the real dangerous performances like eating fire that most got rid of years ago. They definitely don't deal with the safety inspectors.” chuckling over it.
“huh. Been a while since I've ever seen one of those.” the circus conjuring up an idea. Thinking this may be the perfect thing for her. “if I get a job on the circus I'll get a place to stay and food. A permanent residence yet I can keep traveling on the road regularly.” bringing her attention back to the man. “the circus is still here, right?”
“oh yeah, but it'll be leaving in a day or so from what I've heard.”
“where is it? The usual fair grounds?”
“off the main roads going onto dirt along the river. You'll walk through some forest, but you should see the big top tent and their Ferris wheel. If they still got them up anyway.”
“thanks, they could be just what I am looking for.” waving the man goodbye before rushing off to find the place. Aiming to make it before it got really dark and the circus runner wouldn't be in the mood to listen on a possible new hire.
Following the dirt path the old man mentioned to pass between rows of forest pines. Fog having cleared enough to reveal the tops of a towering red and yellow tent. A massive ferris wheel standing not to far from it able to be clearly seen against the grey sky's. Her dirt trail passing under two pines leaning over enough to cross into a fake arch way. Passing through she was covered in a strange feeling of mystical excitement. Like being a kid again visiting the circus for the first time although she didn't find a good reason to be feeling this. Her dad always took her to fairs and that greatly soured them for her. She was just here for a job, not to win prizes … unless it was some fair food.
Looking around she found some circus staff cleaning up the inner tent. Spotting someone not suppose to be their they cut Beverly off from going any deeper past the entrance. “hey, you cant be in here. Even with a ticket were closed for today.”
“sorry, I am actually looking for the person who runs the place. I want to try and get a job here for something more stable on the road traveling.”
the circus workers not looking too surprised another road traveler was looking to join the circus. “your looking for Robert grey. Hes currently in his wagon down by the tree line past all the other wagons. You better talk fast, because dinner will start soon and he isn't too happy about meal time being disturbed.” gesturing in the direction Beverly was to find everything.
“thanks.” following the pointed direction to a cluster of wagons, some huge and long with many wheels like a train cart converted to be more earth to road worthy. Beverly couldn't imagine the size and power of the horses needed to haul these things. They must have an army of horses just to haul a single wagon. Passing by she had many of the circus staff eyes looking her way. Confused as to why someone not from the circus was wandering around the grounds, especially by their living spaces of all places to explore on the grounds. She ignored them, as long as they didn't bother her to prevent her from joining. Spotting greys wagon sitting alone from the others. Half as large as the weird train like carts but still a hefty size for a traveling wagon.
Taking the few steps up to face the large dark wagon door. A lamp hanging above providing a small amount of light to attract moths from the dark. Staring at the door she had another wave of Déjà vu pass over her as if she'd seen the door before, but that couldn't be. She knocked firmly on the dark wood that looked incredibly aged. Heavily water logged at some point as if plucked from a lake it had been soaking in. then re-dried enough to be usable for a few more weeks before becoming brittle enough to crumble.
A mans deep smooth voice answering her knock. “come in.” the door opening slightly with a click to its handle. Yet no one was near the door when she fully spread it from the doorway. Not far from the entry way was a desk with an empty chair in front of it and behind was a large chair facing away to hide who ever was sitting in it. “have a seat.” the man spoke again.
Beverly quietly stepped over to take the seat. Nervous of what to expect for a traveling circus interview. Surely they wouldn't care on if she graduated high school or not. As long as she could write and count out money. She could work whatever job they needed her for. Whether it physical labor or some sort of filing. The owner speaking again before she could. “what is it you want?”
“a job.”
“here, why?”
“I've been living on the road since I was 17. Its been rough and I've been wanting some stable source of living, but still on the road. I felt the circus was perfect for that and I can work where ever you need me to.”
“are you sure?”
“yes, I cant start immediately if I am accepted.”
“then welcome aboard.” the smooth male voice shifting to a higher pitch. One that knotted Beverlys stomach into something pale. Blood draining from her face when the chair swiveled around to reveal the clown, IT, grinning widely at her. “whats wrong Beverly? You look like you've seen a ghost.” he laughed.
Beverly jumped up from her chair, shock turning to anger. “its you!”
“aww, why so angry? You seemed excited for this job.” he teased.
“fuck you!” she snapped before fleeing from the wagon. Hearing the clowns laughter follow her out the door.
“cant break your contract now Beverly!” she heard his voice mock her from behind.
She ran from the circus grounds pas the arch made from trees. Fleeing down the dirt road for a time before coming to a halt. Somehow she had looped back to the arching trees leading to the circus. She turned around to flee again away from the grounds. Swallowing hard at the arch coming back into her view a third time. “no.” she swallowed hard in refusing to believe what was happening. Attempting a fourth time to escape her new found prison. Time and time again those arches greeted her on her running path. Forcing her to accept that this was her final place no matter how long she ran.
“fuck.” she breathed out on what little air she gained. Accepting that their was no escape and that she had to face the clown.
Making the small nervous trek back to his wagon with the door remaining wide open for her. “oh, back so soon?” the clown teased as she sat annoyed in the chair.
“shut up.” she snapped. “ now what?” wanting to get past all his mocking and straight to the point.
“you work for me now, what else is there to say?” snickering with a shrug of his shoulders. “we'll start tomorrow as today has ended. Go eat dinner and rest up in the 3rd wagon. You'll have a lot of work tomorrow.”
she raised a brow. “I'll actually get to eat?”
“of cooourse. Cant have you starving when we haven't even gotten started.” grinning widely. “Foods served under the tent. Breakfast and dinner only, lunch entirely relies on you buying with your own dimes. Theirs also an employee discount at the food carts.” the few things he mentioned seeming odd on why he even bothered with, however she wasn't going to sit there and interrogate him on all of this. “i already let them know you're part of the big circus family.” he chuckled.
Wanting to get away from him she left without another word to the tent. Hunger stabbing at her stomach far too painfully to reuse food. Even if he turned a bowl of rice to maggots she may be tempted to eat the extra disgusting protein. One step into the tent entrance had her swarmed by other circus staff wanting to question her.
“you know Robert grey?” “how long have you known him?” “why'd you join the circus?” “have you been in a circus before?” “how long have you lived the road life?” the questions swarmed her, only one standing out to her over the others. “are you hungry?”
“i am starving.” was her answer to whoever asked. Thinking through the other questions another stood out. “Robert grey? Pennywise was using a fake name? Did they only know him as Robert or did he also go by Pennywise?”
following a group who offered to show her to the dinner line. Some staff handing out pre-plated food from a kitchen cart of sorts parked next to the tent. A make shift dining hall set up in the tents middle ring. Beverly took one look at the food and her mouth filled with drool. At least the place didn't skimp on the portions. A silver trey covered in a heaping pile of rice mixed with vegetables sitting atop were pieces of grilled chicken Brest and a leg. a full cob of corn, sided by a small bowl of salad with a packet of ranch on the side. Grabbing her silverware and a few packets of seasoning before heading off to sit at one of the dining tables. Feeling the odd one squeezing in to a new spot she wasn't sure if she would even be accepted into.
Having horrible memories coming to the surface of being shooed off from her dining spot at a school lunch table multiple times. Eventually finding it best to eat alone outside under a tree. That was quite the opposite here with everybody swarming her again to repeat the questions they had. She got down a few chunks of grilled chicken before speaking to any of them. She wanted something to fill her stomach before something caused her food to be ruined.
“did I know Robert grey, you mean Pennywise? I've known him, but I wish I didn't.” eating more chunks of meat and stuffing down rice. Not caring if she looked to be lacking table manners in stuffing food down. Chugging down a whole glass of freshly poured lemon aid offered from the tables center.
Most didn't seem to care for her starved hunger, appearing obviously thin that no one wanted to disrupt her stuffing of food. Only one older lady seeming to care, glaring in disgust at Beverlys earned gluttonous eating. “don't choke on the bone dear.” the women sneered.
Beverly rolled her eyes in response, continuing her meal. A few others glaring at the women. “don't mind her.” another girl spoke. “Selenas been working here a while and assumes shes the manager around here, but don't believe that. Greys the only one in charge of what happens, not her.”
“i should be!” Selenas snapped with her fist pounding the table. “i was here first before all you children! I have been a traveler far longer then all of you and have been hardened by the life you all dare to claim as yours!” growling at them all as if offended. “you were all pampered in homes for far too long to be called travelers.”
“so why'd you start working with grey?” the curious group ignoring the snapping women.
“i only started working with Pennywise because I had no choice.” Beverly holding her anger back. Although the rest hardly noticed her negative feelings.
“working under grey is so nice. He lets us have so much, it must be difficult on such a tight circus budget.”
“yeah, yeah.” Beverly waved off. Finishing her huge plate of food before getting a small tour by everyone. Mentioning that things may be changed after each move. Something that Beverly was curious about as she assumed Pennywise was trapped in Derry. After the tour she was brought to her new wagon home. Brought to an empty loft bed toward the end, the top a bed next to a small rectangle window and small shelves on either side of it. Large enough to hold a water bottle and small trinkets. Below the bed was a personal space of a wall wardrobe, window, and a slide up mirror behind a desk against the wall. A vanity desk for putting on make up or dressing into outfits.
Beverly didn't have much with her in her backpack. Old clothes, a wallet held with duct ape carrying mostly change now and a mashed water bottle she could probably throw away now. Assuming shed be here for at least a few days she packed the clothes away. Bringing her back pack up as another pillow to use. Laying down on a bed after sleeping on concrete to leaf litter was like heaven on her back. Swearing it cracked in multiple places from laying straight after so long. She knocked out as soon as she pulled the curtain closed to her “bedroom”.
Waking to someone shaking her in the morning. Believing only a few hours had passed, if she had not been able to see the new morning from her small window. Turning to look at the person disturbing her sleep she flinched back from the clown. “time to wake up for work.” grinning at her. Tall enough to be face to face with her on the loft bed. She groaned as he left off the wagon, leaving her to get ready in private. Dressed in fresh clothes she met back up with him outside.
“what do you want?” still sounding exhausted.
“ever worn a straight jacket?”
“uh, nooooo.” raising a brow at the clown.
“come on, we need to get you fitted before the show.”
“what?! Fitted for a jacket? For a show, what show?! What am I doing?!”
“our new escape show together! Out of locks, water tanks, spiked boxes, oh all the thrill they'll bring.” speaking positively of the whole show he threw together in one night. “and if you cant handle them. Then it'll also bring the fear.”
Beverly huffed at him, figuring out the game he was playing with her. “hes hoping to scare me with extreme shows. Either I power through them or I become a perfect meal at the shows end.”
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