#yikes he turned 40 this year | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amica-aenigmata-naboo · 2 months

Text

Sunwalker

Astarion x Y/N - drabble - 2.2K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, near death experience for y/n, Astarion crying, companions featured!, visiting Avernus (yikes), the Underdark, guilt, fear

--------------------------

Astarion smoothed his thumb over the ring on your finger. No matter how long you had been married it was still as if you had just said “yes” to him. 50 years have passed since the elder brain. 40 of which you have been married for. And every day you woke to those scarlet eyes and fell in love all over again. You remained yourself, Astarion never pressured you to turn into a vampire like him. He knew the loneliness it could bring and he didn’t want that for you. You managed to cultivate an elixir that froze your mortality. It nearly cost you your soul to get all the ingredients, most of which you had to beg, borrow, or just flat out steal from some very prominent gods. But you did it. You froze your aging, remaining as young and beautiful as you were when Astarion met you.

You watched the glow peer through the sheer curtains, leg thrown over Astarions waist as he held your waist in his sleep. Holding you close as always. You looked out into the Underdark, the strange landscape had been your home for quite some time. Beautiful as it was, you missed the sun. The fresh air, the occasional breeze. You never let onto it, knowing Astarion would spiral, envisioning himself as some sort of leech who kept you trapped with him. You would trade the sun for him any day. But still, the heart longs for things it once knew so well.

“Your face will get stuck like that if you frown any harder.” Astarion whispered.

You looked up at him, his eyes were closed still, the ever perceptive bastard. “Bad dream.” you mumbled as you relaxed your face, snuggling into his chest.

“Tell me?” he asked while gently massaging your scalp.

“Sleepy…” you said with a yawn before kissing his chest.

“Then sleep my love, I’ll see you in the morning.”

-------------------------------

You awoke feeling refreshed. Your house was still bathed in darkness. You had grown accustomed to this, but still, sometimes you missed being greeted by the golden rays of the sun.

“Darling,” you started as you stretched your rigid limbs, “I was thinking… Maybe we could go to the surface for a few days? Gale has been begging to see me ever since we moved to the Underdark. I miss our friends. And Jaheira isn’t far off from Waterdeep. Neither is Shadowheart. And I’m sure Karlach would slip away from Avernus for a bit if she knew everyone was top side.” you picked at your nails, you hated talking about the surface. You alway wondered if it made Astarion feel bad.

Astarion kissed your forehead before pulling you up so you could be eye level with him. “My sweet, you may go to the surface whenever you wish, you know that. But… somebody has to stay with the spawn. Especially the younglings, they’re still so unpredictable.” his eyes held a sad look. He would never admit it, but he missed your companions too, even Gale. But he knew what he signed up for when he released them. He kept balance between he spawn and the Underdark’s natural inhibitors; drow, myconids, duergar, etc.

You let out a small sigh, “Only a few days, I swear it.” you kissed him, thumbing over his cheek as you held his face.

He leaned his forehead against yours, “I know, you can’t live without me.” he said with a smirk but you could hear it in his voice. The waver that held uncertainty. He knew you loved him, but it is so easy to leave and never return.

------------------------------

You opened a portal early in the morning. You left Astarion a jar of your blood on the kitchen table along with a little love note. He knew you were leaving early, giving you a small kiss before he watched you go.

The sun was blinding and took your eyes several minutes to adjust. The soft glow of the Underdark didn’t compare to the ball of fire in the sky. It almost felt oppressive. However - feeling the warmth on your skin, the wind in your hair, the smell of the grass. Gods how you missed it all. You ran your hands through the tall grass as you walked towards Gale’s tower you saw off in the distance.

He captured you in a bone crushing hug as soon as he saw you. “Y/N! My dear friend, how I’ve missed you.” he said fondly. “Come, come! Everyone is inside!”

As promised everyone was inside, even Lae’zel. You hugged them all, holding each of them a little longer than normal. God’s you missed them all. Everyone looked just the same, a few new scars and wrinkles here and there, but the same. Gale had managed to pull something off similar to you, ingesting dark fire to keep his soul bound to this plane of existence thus his body remained as well.

“No Astarion?” Karlach asked with sadness evident in her voice.

Your friends all looked at you sympathetically, “The spawn… they need him. And the sun… tends to be an issue.” you said with a slight laugh, trying not to bring the mood down.

“Did you never find the Sunwalker’s ring?” Shadowheart asked.

“Our leads stopped years ago… we made a home in the Underdark. It’s not so bad, we never get sunburned.” you shrugged with a lopsided smile.

Your friends nodded, quickly changing the subject as they noticed your mood dropping. You talked, drank, ate, and laughed. It felt identical to when you traveled together, regaling each other with new and old stories. Eventually though, bedrolls called to everyone.

You looked out the window of Gale’s tower. You had almost forgotten about the moon. You felt a pang in your chest, you missed your husband. You twisted your wedding band around your finger, trying to feel close to him in the dark.

Gale walked up to you slowly “Missing someone?” he said as he passed you a chalice of wine.

You smiled softly, “You only get one great love in life… it hurts to be away from him.” you said looking into the deep red of the wine.

Gale nodded in understanding. “If I may, I might know of another way.”

“Way for what?” you said with a confused look.

“A way for Astarion to walk in the sun again.” he said, his eyes shining with hope.

Your eyes widened, “Go on…” you said.

“In Avernus, there is something called “The Eternal Pit "; it is a hellish void. A portal really. To a realm of the unknown, but if you survive it, those who have returned alway return with their hearts desire.” Gale said with excitement.

“I’ll do it.” you said immediately, “Now, we go now.” you said as you jumped down from the ledge of the window. You rushed to Karlach’s room, knocking lightly before you rushed in. She laid on her bed, resting but her eyes met yours as soon as the door opened.

“Hello?” she said with confusion on her face.

“I need you to take me to The Eternal Pit.” you said quickly.

Her face was dripping with shock. “I’m sorry, what? You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack.” You said sitting on the bed next to her. “Please, it’s the only way Astarion can walk in the sun again. He deserves it, Karlach.” you begged, your eyes becoming glassy. Your lover deserved the world, and you’d do anything to give it to him.

She sighed, her eyes searching yours. “I have a feeling you’ll go with or without me… fine.” she sighed.

She started to put her armor on. You dawned your mage armor along with your simple chain mail. “After you.” she said, opening the portal back to Avernus.

----------------------------

“As requested, The Eternal Pit.” Karlach said, cringing as she looked into the swirling black void in the center of the burning, abandoned monastery.

Your gaze never broke from it, “If I don’t return…”

“Don’t” she said sternly.

“If I don’t… tell Astarion I’m sorry for leaving him alone… I just wanted to give him everything he deserved. And that I love him more than he could ever know.” you finished your sentence before letting yourself fall forward into the pit.

Heat enveloped you, thick and sticky like tar. It felt fluid and yet molten at the same time. You walked through a sea of nothingness, just emptiness for what felt like ever before you arrived at a shimmering mirror. You gazed at yourself, skin melted, bone showing. You touched the shimmering surface of it before you were thrown backwards. A devil slowly made her way out of the mirror. Her imposing figure looming above yours.

“What dost thou want?” her voice echoed in a sinister whisper throughout the void yet her lips never moved.

“The Sunwalker’s ring.” you stuttered out as you lay in the blackened tar like fluid.

“Why?” she asked.

“My lover needs it.” you said simply, not wanting to overshare in case the devil was trying to form some sort of trick.

“What whilst thou sacrifice?” she asked, outstretching her hand.

You thought hard. What could you give of equal value? “Take whatever you wish, just not my soul or immortality.”

The devil smiled, “You’re brave. What are you willing to endure for this boon?”

“Anything.” you said. Suddenly you felt all your skin peeling off. Your nails being removed one by one.

“Pain is your price. If you say stop, your soul stays with me.” she smiled wickedly.

The pain was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. Searing. Melting. Evil. You writhe about, feeling every part of you be ripped apart just to be put back together and torn apart once again. You screamed and cried but never said stop. You remember everything fading, slipping deeper into the tar like water before you felt… nothing. There was an absence of everything in this abyss.

--------------------------

Astarion rushed through the halls of Gale’s tower, not caring if the sun scorched his skin every time he walked past a window. He made it to the laboratory in the basement. He stopped when he saw your body resting on a gurney.

He rushed to you, “What happened?!” he yelled, demanding to know.

You had been missing for three days before you reappeared in Waterdeep. Fainting as soon as you materialized, Gale kept you in the laboratory. He watched your vitals day and night, Karlach blaming herself for taking you despite knowing your stubborn heart would have gone no matter what.

“OUT! Both of you get out!” he screamed. Feverish tears rushed down his cheeks as soon as he knew he was alone. He held your limp hand, kissing over your face “Wake up, please… you promised…” he held your forehead to his. His sobs wracked him, he kept his head on your chest for hours, listening to the only sign of your life. Your heart beat was weak but steady. He didn’t meditate for days.

“Astarion…” Karlach said as she entered. She left a cup of fresh blood next to him. “They… I know their heart and mind was filled with only you when they stepped into that pit.” she patted his shoulder.

He didn’t move, he was practically catatonic. They had told him what happened. Why you went. Your last words. Everything. He couldn’t be without you so this is where he would stay until he too faded into nothing.

Astarion was sure he hallucinated it, a twitch of your eyebrow. Then your finger. He saw your eyes shifting beneath your lids. His head shot up despite the dizziness he felt due to lack of feeding. “Little love?” he whispered.

You shot up bolt right, leaning off to the side to throw up black liquid that scorched the stone flooring. After coughing and gagging for a solid minute you regained your sight a bit, “Astarion?” you mumbled, unsure if he was really there or if this was a fever dream.

“Darling?” he said, kissing over your face.

You sunk back down feeling weak.

“GALE!” Astarion let out a booming yell which had the wizard running in. As soon as he saw you were awake he rushed a bottle of antidote and superior healing to your lips. Color returned to your face quickly.

“Don’t ever do that shit again.” Astarion said with a watery tone.

“I know, you can’t live without me.” you mumbled with a smirk as your shaky hand reached for his face, cupping his cheek.

Astarion let out a shaky laugh before he kissed you. The healing potion tingled against his lips but didn’t distract him enough to feel a warm sensation slide up his ring finger. He begrudgingly pulled away to look at the cause. A golden band with a golden gem softly glowing.

His eyes widened, “How did you…”

You softly smiled at him dragging him back into a kiss. “Let’s go home.” you whispered against his lips as you carded your fingers through his hair.

“No…” he shook his head, “My brothers and sisters will manage without me. We’ve lived in the shadows long enough. Let’s make a new home.” he said.

You nodded quickly, pulling him into a crushing kiss as you pressed him close to you. He held you tightly, responding with just as much urgency and passion. “I love you.” he said.

You kissed him over and over, “I love you. Now, Sunwalker, let’s go make a home for ourselves.”

------------------------

Naboo's Note:

Hello all! This was based off a request so thank you for sending that in. This was awesome to write! Had a lot of fun with it, got the creative juices flowing. I hope everyone is well. I work an overnight tomorrow so expect another fic to be out soon! Thanks for everything!!! TTYLXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!!!!!!!!

322 notes · View notes

nerdychaoscherryblossom · 4 months

Text

Once Upon a Pixar (2026)

Hello. It's me, and this is the Pixar version of Once Upon a Studio called Once Upon a Pixar.

(The film opens with the headquarters at Pixar as the employees leave for the day.)

Pixar Intern: It's so incredible to think that George Lucas started Pixar back in 1979 until it was founded by Steve Jobs in 1986 40 years ago today. To think of all those talented animators and unforgettable characters who have been a part of the studio over the years.

Pete Docter: Yep. (as he and the intern turn around one last time) If the characters could talk to each other.

(Pete Docter and the intern leave as the door closes while the title comes up: "Once Upon a Pixar". The camera zooms into a photo picture of Woody, Jessie and Bullseye running on a record player. Woody glances back as everything seems quiet in the lobby.)

Woody: Psst! Atta. Princess Atta. You there?

(Princess Atta flies into the lobby and over to his picture.)

Woody: Is that it? They all gone?

Princess Atta: Yep, they're all gone.

Woody: Yee-haw! (he, Jessie and Bullseye leap out of the picture) Come on, Jessie, this is it.

Jessie: Let's get everyone. Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!

Joy: (gasps) There's the signal! All right, everyone! (she, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust jump out of their production cell) It's picture time!

Elio Silos: That's tonight?

Joy: That's now.

Ember Lumen: The 40-year group photo. (she and Wade jump out of their production cell as well) And the sun's going down. Come on, Wade, let's feel the burn!

Wade Ripple: Ooh, a fire pun. (chuckles) Got to like that.

(Suddenly, Arlo and Spot come out of their production cell as Wade gasps and goes against the wall.)

Arlo: (chuckles nervously) Sorry.

Woody: Picture time, gang!

Mei Lee: (chuckles) Okay, here we come!

(Mei Lee, Miriam, Abby, Priya and Tyler jump out of their production cell while they laugh.)

Abby: Wake up, everyone!

(The Oozma Kappa come out of their production cell as Squishy yells while Russell, Carl and Dug walk down the hallway.)

Russell: Whoa!

Dug: Awesome!

Russell: Oh, Mr. Lightyear! Get the folks upstairs!

Buzz Lightyear: Roger that, Russell. To infinity and beyond!

(Buzz Lightyear flies upstairs as Lightning McQueen drives happily down the hall with Mater.)

Mater: Yee-haw!

Merida: (jumps out of her production cell) It's picture time! (runs to the lobby) We're meeting at the lobby!

Flik: Okay! See you there!

(Miguel Rivera and Riley Andersen ride on Dim as Dim flies to the lobby.)

Miguel Rivera: (hollers)

(Francis gives a fun ride to Dash Parr.)

Dash Parr: Whoa! Higher! (laughs)

(Francis chuckles as Remy and Emile slide down the stairs as Luca Paguro lands on the floor and sighs as he catches Nemo.)

Nemo: Water.

Luca Paguro: (shudders and rushes to the counter)

P.T. Flea: No, no, no, there's no time for snacks!

Luca Paguro: Uh, Andy! A little help here?

Andy Davis: Oh, uh, let me see here. There we go, a nice bucket of water.

(Luca Paguro dunks Nemo to a bucket of water.)

Nemo: (grunts)

Linguini: (chuckles) Oh, waiter! There's a fish in the bucket! (laughs)

(Ernesto de la Cruz tries to get candy from the vending machine while he curses in Spanish as Mr. Incredible and Frozone walk down the hall.)

Mr. Incredible: Yikes! Do you think all the villains might catch up?

Frozone: Hmm. (freezes Syndrome in his frame) Not all.

Syndrome: (strains)

(Rex goes to the elevator with Imelda Rivera, Manticore, Ian, Barley and Laurel Lightfoot.)

Imelda Rivera: Going down?

Roz: Hold the elevator. I'm going to the lobby.

Rex: Huh? Oh, you've got to be joking.

(Joe Gardner hums to "Put On Your Sunday Clothes" while he draws Hector Rivera.)

Brook Ripple: Hey, black man. Shake a leg, will ya?

Joe Gardner: The leg won't make a difference, it's all in the wrist.

(Hector Rivera bursts out of the drawing as Joe Gardner shrieks in surprise.)

Hector Rivera: Ay! I haven't seen a fall like that since Spain. (fixes the chair) Oh! Much better.

(At the men's room, Hopper, 4*Town and Chef Skinner freshen up as Chef Skinner blows a kiss and chuckles. Suddenly, Tuck and Roll appear in front of his eyes, laughing, as Jessie opens the door.)

Jessie: Let's move it, gentlemen!

(While Lorenzo Paguro tries to free his wife Daniela Paguro from her picture, Giulia Marcovaldo walk with Buster, Mr. Mittens, Larry and Machivelli.)

Giulia Marcovaldo: Uh-huh. Meeting at the lobby. Don't eat the rats.

(Scud tries to eat Remy and Emile but Dante pops up and scares Scud away, thus saving the rats' lives. While Izzy and her team walk by, Mei Lee and her friends watch a cartoon on a TV.)

Izzy Hawthorne: Come on, everyone, you're gonna have nightmares.

(Zurg pops out of the TV and scares Mei Lee and her friends away, laughing. Back at the elevator, Roz makes it in time.)

Roz: Thanks very much for holding the elevator.

Rex: (groans)

Evelyn Deavor: I'm also going to the lobby as well.

Rex: Huh? Oh, come on!

(While M-O is being followed and annoyed by Dot, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson follow down the stairs, where Mr. Anderson is the one to drop his wallet and they laugh. Buster picks up the wallet and runs off with it.)

Mr. Anderson: Hey, Buster! Andy, get your dog!

(Woody follows up the stairs as he looks amused when he sees Underminer leading Colette Tatou with his hypnosis watch.)

Woody: Underminer? Underminer! You-- You stop that now, Underminer!

Rosie: Don't worry, Woody. (chuckles) I got this.

(Rosie hits Underminer offscreen unconsciously.)

Woody: Huh. (gasps) Wow.

(Woody looks up at photographs of John Lasseter, Andrew Stanton, Pete Docter, Lee Unkrich and Joe Ranft while he takes his hat off.)

Buzz Lightyear: Oh, Woody, where are you? We're at the lobby!

Woody: (chuckles) Got to go, but thanks. (puts his hat back on) On with the show.

(At the lobby, Woody rides on WALL-E with a fire extinguisher)

Woody: Yee-haw!

Mike Wazowski: Coast is clear, Sheriff.

Woody: Great! (holds the door open) Right this way, everybody.

(Sulley bumps into the door.)

Woody: Oh! Sulley, are you okay?

James P. Sullivan: (grunts) Never better, Eastwood. (accidentally trips the trash can)

Stinky Pete: I knew I'm surrounded by... (gets startled by Slim who rides on EVE) Idiots!

Slim: Tallyho! Whee! I'll show you the world! (laughs)

Woody: Oh, great, the ladder.

(Buzz sets the ladder while he hums.)

Mr. Dicker: Every time it gets hard. Money, money, money.

Woody: All right, everyone. Get-- Get together now. (to Tinny) Oh. After you, Tinny.

Emile: Oh. Pardon me.

Francis: (holds up a camera) Here's the camera, Lightyear.

Buzz Lightyear: (takes a camera and chuckles) Thanks, Francis. (climbs up the ladder)

Woody: Buzz, be careful!

Buzz Lightyear: (makes it to the top) All right, now where's the timer button?

Molt: Oh, oh! Three, two, one! (Randall Boggs grins)

(Buzz accidentally falls off while he screams and breaks the camera. As Buster walks to the broken camera, Buzz recognizes it.)

Andy Davis: Come on, Buster. (Buster runs back to Andy)

Buzz Lightyear: Huh? Oh, no. It's ruined.

Anger: Well, that was fun!

Sadness: Maybe we can try again in another forty years.

(The characters sigh disappointedly and are about to leave.)

Woody: Oh, no, no, wait. Come back. It-- It-- It'll be fine. It'll be...

(Just as the characters are about to leave, Randy Newman appears from nowhere while he plays "You've Got a Friend in Me" on piano with his orchestra.)

Randy Newman: ♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

♪ When the road looks rough ahead ♪

♪ And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed ♪

Hopper: I knew this was gonna happen.

Randy Newman: ♪ You just remember what your old pal said ♪

♪ Boy, you've got a friend in me ♪

♪ Yeah, you've got a friend in me ♪

(While the song goes on, Mr. Incredible fixes the camera as Buzz looks excited and Sulley puts the ladder back in position. Manny and Gipsy lift Buzz to help him up as Buzz sets the camera up for the photo.)

♪ Some other folks might be ♪

♪ A little bit smarter than I am ♪

♪ Bigger and stronger too, maybe ♪

♪ But none of them will ever love you ♪

♪ The way I do, it's me and you, boy ♪

♪ And as the years go by ♪

♪ Our friendship will never die ♪

♪ You're gonna see it's our destiny ♪

All: ♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

♪ You've got a friend in me ♪

(The camera flashes as the group photo in the Pixar hall is taken, and the short ends with a text "To the animators, directors and crew of Pixar who worked for 40 years on movies and short films, Thank You." and then the song ends.)

Well, I think this is the transcript. I hope you like it. I also hope Pixar does a new short film like Once Upon a Studio did. Have a Happy New Year.

37 notes · View notes

turquoiseaardvark · 1 month

Text

Solar Eclipse story.

based on green Eggs and Ham...

7 years ago...

Sam-I-Am: hey, Guy, let's go to Salem.

Guy-Am-I: Salem? That's short for Jerusalem!

Sam-Am-I: I know... Let's go to Salem to watch the Solar Eclipse.

Guy-Am-I: 😨 Solar Eclipse? Oh no! It's the End of the World! We better repent!

(later, they arrived in Salem)

Sam-I-Am: look, Guy, the Solar Eclipse! It's starting already!

Guy-Am-I: oh no.... we're all gonna Die!

(the Moon covered the sun)

Sam-I-Am: look, Guy, the Sun was covered by the moon. Isn't it beautiful?

(Sam and Guy wore a solar eclipse Glasses)

Guy-Am-I: well... I guess you're right, Sam, it is beautiful... but I am aware this is a Warning.

Sam-I-Am: what do you mean?

Guy-Am-I: what I mean is... this would be the seven years of plenty here.... but I fear that the Second solar eclipse will be the Seven years of Famine.

Sam-I-Am: don't be silly, Guy-Am-I, as long as we be happy, nothing bad would happy to us...

Guy-Am-I: but.... what if Slavery arrives here in America?

Sam-I-Am: Maybe The second Solar Eclipse may Arrive in Ninevah.

Guy-Am-I: what the heck is a Ninevah?

Sam-I-Am: the Big Whale! In fact... Jonah was swallowed by a Whale.

Guy-Am-I: No, Sam, That's a Big Fish! In fact, Ninevah is talking about the Big fish! Now we are All gonna DIE! 😨

Sam-I-Am: that's exactly why we need to repent everyday... in fact, we've only just begun repenting...

Guy-Am-I: I hate my Life.

(seven years later, on April 8th 2024)

Sam-I-Am: here we Are, Guy, Ninevah, in Ninevah New york!

Guy-Am-I: really? I thought we were in little Egypt! Now we are All gonna DIE!

Sam-Am-I: look, Guy-Am-I, the Solar Eclipse Started...

(then the Solar Eclipse started here.... the moon covered the sun.... and now ..... )

Guy-Am-I: well, Sam? This is it....

Sam-I-am: what's it?

Guy-Am-I: 😨 now we are going to Die... and the Whale are going to capture us!

Sam-I-Am: did you repent, Guy?

Guy-Am-I: yes.

Sam-I-Am: did you do homework?

Guy-Am-I: yes?

Sam-I-Am: good. Remember, the meek will inherit the earth.

Guy-Am-I: Sam?! I am 😨 scared.... what does green Eggs and Ham stand for?

Sam-I-Am: well... Green Eggs and Ham represents water. And it represents knowledge. Learning something new. It's not about eating... also about reading...

Guy-Am-I: really? Are you sure?

Sam-I-Am: who knows... just hang in there, Buddy.... oh look, the Comet!

Guy-Am-I: oh no! 😨 The Comet of Abomination! The Anti-Christ is here! We're doomed.

Sam-I-Am: hold Peace, Guy. We may seperate from each other... but Stay Strong, buddy. We were warned that Vanity will be our undoing...

Guy-Am-I: I knew it, Second Solar Eclipse will become darker!

(then everything turned Dark)

Guy-Am-I: what the? What happened to the light?!

Sam-I-Am: I don't know... maybe the Second Solar Eclipse turned out the light for 40 days... and 40 nights?

Guy-Am-I: oh no! Now we are all gonna...

Sam I Am: (he slaps Guy) pull yourself together, Guy! We must remain Silent and Vigilant at all costs!

Guy-Am-I: (whimpers) hold me, Sam! That's what Second Solar Eclipse is a Warning! That's what the Lorax is warning us about.

Lorax: see? I warned you! Like I warned the Onceler! Now Yertle the Turtle is taking over America! For 7 years!

Yertle: yes! Now I will turn everyone into slaves! Yay!

Guy and Sam: Yertle the Turtle?! Oh no!

Yertle: that's right, losers! I brought Communism to America, now I will turn everyone into Slaves! Have you met my Partner? His name is Ninevah the Whale. He is going to eat you up.

Ninevah: hello, Sam and Guy! Time is up! I am going to eat you both up!

Guy-Am-I: yikes! We were warned that Whales are here to capture us! To erase us! 😨

Sam-I-Am: hold Peace, Guy... don't brag...

Guy-Am-I: (he hugs Sam tightly) I'll miss you, Sam!

That's the solar Eclipse story that warns humanity to repent and to stay vigilant. Lol.

#Funny #parody #cartoons #literature #warning #whale #guy am i #green eggs and ham #sam i am

2 notes · View notes

ayo-edebiri · 1 year

Note

I mean people have no issues finding the whole Karen/Billy thing hot either despite her being in her 40 and him being 17/18. But you know, it's okay cause Billy is a piece of shit and he deserves it. like sorry, I don't care what he's done, that is still a 17/18 years old CHILD. yikes

(I've seen a lot of stoppers shipping them together so you know, the whole not minor thing is bs)

Yes!!! I don't like Billy but Karen is an adult. We need to stop with the "20 years old are adult" bullshit. You don't become suddenly an adult the second you turn 18 or 21. The people who think that are most of the time weird dudes (or weird women, if you think about the way women treated Lautner) who want an excuse to sexualize young adults like Millie Bobby Brown.

22 notes · View notes

calmwaterstarot · 4 months

Note

If he still hasn't learned from his mistakes after staying with Alba for a couple of years and "marrying" her, I don't have any hope for him.//

He still has a chance for self-improvement because he hasn't entered into his "astrological midlife crisis" yet (it will happen in 6 months and take several years). This period can become a turning point for him. He is a rising Scorpio, this sign has the best potential for transformation among all zodiac sign. If he wants to change, he will have this opportunity, astrologically. As for relationship, he is approaching a crucial moment when he can have a very serious and genuine relationship (certain aspects will become exact in a couple of years). His progressed Venus shifted its sign from Leo to Virgo in February 2022. It will take some time to adjust himself to a new planetary energy. Unfortunately, it is related to having multiple crisis moments. I believe he will be fine, his natal chart can be more effective when he reaches his mid 40s.

“Multiple crisis moments.” Yikes! Keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle ‘cause it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. Love the astrology messages, anon!

2 notes · View notes

realhousewives-fan · 6 months

Text

Nothing Compares 2 Sai

If you don’t like someone, you just won’t like them. And that’s how it seems to be with Sai De Silva and Jessel Taank.

No matter what Jessel says or does, it appears to get on Sai’s nerves.

Well, she did come 40 minutes late to the lunch Sai didn’t want to go to in the first place.

I thought a lunch would be the perfect place for them to meet, since Sai is always complaining about the lack of food at every event.

And the way Sai was screaming at Jessel and ridiculing her family’s background and struggles, no wonder Jessel wanted to clear the air and find some common ground.

I understand that nothing can compare to the loss of your mother.

It’s understandable that to Sai this was like comparing apples and oranges.

But I don’t understand why Sai had to be so cruel about it.

While Sai claims to be a straight shooter, it comes across as straight meanness.

Jessel wants Sai’s approval, and she’s not going to get it.

For every episode I watch, it becomes more difficult for me to like Sai.

Especially when Sai is talking with Erin Lichy. Everything gets twisted and turned into something negative.

In their opinion Jessel is trying to compare herself with Sai’s struggles. It seems like it’s Sai and Erin who is comparing Jessel’s story to Sai’s story.

If Jessel had 20 dollars in her bank account, Sai had -400 dollars in her account.

Like Ubah Hassan said: Who cares? You were broke.

Erin and Sai went on a double date where they had some interesting conversations, like threesomes or become swingers to spice up the sex life.

They were also discussing the dry spell that Jessel and Pavit Randhawa was going through. 1,5 years without sex. How dreadful.

If that was Erin and Abe Lichy, Abe said that he would be fucking other women… Yikes.

However, they are interesting. There are things I like about Erin, but she’s a shit talker.

And when she gets together with Sai it becomes unlikable. They become a two-headed monster.

#Real Housewives of New York #RHONY #Sai De Silva #Jessel Taank #Erin Lichy #Ubah Hassan #Pavit Randhawa #Abe Lichy

2 notes · View notes

adultswim2021 · 9 months

Text

Assy McGee #20: “Squirrels” | July 07, 2008 - 12:30AM | S02E14

Assy ends tonight. In this one, Assy breaks up an underground Squirrel Fighting Ring after getting over his intense fear of squirrels. He in fact conquers his fears to such an extent that the climax of the episode (and the series, as it turns out) is him squaring off with a giant, genetically modified squirrel.

On the way we get a hunting trip where Assy browbeats Sanchez into drinking duck piss, a shirtless chief, covered in tats, and a few things that actually made me laugh a little. Assy somberly telling Sanchez “I love killing birds,” the dumb exchange between Sanchez and the Chief after Sanchez sees a framed photo of him playing Twister with Gerald Ford: (Sanchez: “Is that you with President Ford?” Chief: “Yeah, that’s me!”), the part where Assy is so spooked at the sight of the squirrel carcasses in the flophouse that his buttcheeks begin quivering. It probably doesn’t sound incredible, but there’s more than usual to like in this episode.

I did not watch Assy McGee season two at all when it premiered (I think; if I contradicted something I already said, go with the other thing). In 2008, I was probably still a touch adverse to comedy involving squirrels. There was a rotating list of nouns that whenever I heard them used in supposed-to-be-funny dialogue or visuals it would set me off. I called them “stock absurdities”, and they’d force me to sit on my hands and scowl in response. I probably arrogantly dressed down many children who were simply trying to have a fun time online.

Now that I’m a 40 year old man (in a few weeks, yikes), I can admit I was a bit of a handful who took his own posts way too seriously. I probably wasn't even all that funny. But at the time, maaaaybe I had a point? It seemed like people could very easily garner laughs by just mentioning monkeys, squirrels, cheese, pirates, ninjas, or robots. I’m sure I’ve harped on this already on this blog, so I’ll stop, abruptly.

This concludes my coverage of Assy McGee, which should not have had 20 episodes. I did just do a quick-and-dirty list of my top ten. If you are good at math, you’ll realize that this is half of the series. Some of these aren’t that good, but had enough memorable jokes that they made the cut. I’m not sure how to rank these, but I’ll tell you the strongest episode on the list is “The Flirty Black Man”, and the weakest is “Irish Wake”:

S01E01: Murder by the Docks

S01E02: The Flirty Black Man

S01E04: Busted

S01E06: Conviction

S02E02: Pharmassy

S02E03: Mile High Mayhem

S02E06: Irish Wake

S02E07: Vowel Play

S02E08: Hands Up

S02E14: Squirrels

As you can see, Assy joins Twin Peaks in the pantheon of shows where season two falls off dramatically, but comes back strong towards the end. "strong", I says. RIP Assy. For better or for worse, I was the only one who truly understood you.

MAIL BAG

Do you think you could beat a kangaroo in a fight should it come to that (your allowed to lie) also the kangaroo is dressed up as space ghost

I would have serious trouble fighting my hero Space Ghost Coast to Coast, but, no, those things are vicious and I am not strong at all and I'm also very scared all the time. It would be a little comforting if the kangaroo delivered the monologue from the end of "Banjo", but I just found out that kangaroos can't speak English, which is sobering to say the least.

EPHEMERA CORNER

youtube

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #assy mcgee #Youtube

2 notes · View notes

nobodysdaydreams · 2 years

Text

Mysterious Benedict Society Liveblog Season 2 Episode 1 A Perilous Journey

Well boys and girls. Here I am again procrastinating (or taking a well deserved break- I suppose it's a matter of interpretation) to hopefully watch a clinically insane man try to hit some children with a golf cart. Yes, I know 2 episodes came out today, but with my schedule being what it is, we're gonna have to do these one at a time and skip the recaps. Alrighty let's go!

4:00- so far so good. Loving the kids in their new homes. Where is my girl Constance though?

5:00- Why the heck does he have a big banner of himself on the side of the building? What happened to being in disgrace and in exile? Now the man is appearing on the news. I thought the point was that they stopped the whisper from making people think he fixed the emergency, now he takes credit anyway? How? Why? What? At this point he's just messing with them.

5:40- oh my gosh he's throwing our girl under the bus, RIP Garrison I hope you come back but this might be it for you. Does this mean Curtain stole her invention and just yeeted her off the boat when SQ's back was turned? We're not even 10 minutes in and I have so many questions.

6:30- Um... what... Is he hypnotizing people with his mind? Does he have psychic powers now? YES BEAT HIM UP CONSTANCE!!! ah dang it. She'll get him eventually.

8:00- Curtain is on the loose, I'd be hung up on the injustice too. Not that scavenger hunting and woodworking doesn't have its place but there is like. A dangerous man at large. He's not exactly hiding. What's stopping you?

9:00- "Are you even invited to speak?" "I'm an esteemed scientist." "It's not an open mic" sljfkdsjfdf- If that isn't me at every academic conference. "Who is mocking me"- oh no poor benedict. PFFFT "Not even a high level conference" I love #2.

10:15- Uh oh they got them. Um... No sure why considering Curtain seems to have gotten away with it and no one on the team besides Benedict is trying to stop Curtain, and people think he's crazy. Why invest resources into kidnapping them?

10:33- AWE MILLIGAN! Kate, come on. He's trying. it's been years, but that wasn't his fault. YES YOU SHOULD GET YOUR OWN BUCKET MILLIGAN. It would be adorable.

12:00- Oh my gosh are we doing the Sticky abandoning his friends plotline AGAIN. We did this. Come on the show does so much right please don't rewind his character development he deserves more.

13:00- Awe Constance being so happy to see Reynie. And yes thank you- did you really never discuss Constance destroying that machine with her mind? You had a year. I get there were other things to figure out but still.

15:00- Ready or not here comes the plot!

16:00- "all our efforts" = yelling into landline phones in different languages. Seriously I have a draft about this, but they have the tech for brain sweeping and mind control, why is everyone (even Curtain) using land lines? If he wants to be famous and powerful, the man could have just made an iphone.

17:25- "maybe down a well. Maybe into a propeller." Geez, Constance has already accepted this. OR AT LEAST FIND THE WELL, yikes.

19:26- Yes back to Curtain's shenanigans. Oh my gosh I love how he planned little snacks for them, just to flex his meal prep skills. And the fact that he knew they would hit that part of the car and made a compartment to open like that- the level of detail this man has gone into for his silly little schemes is quite impressive.

20:20- could be a benefactor, oh boy he is in denial

21:00- There is no system. Yeah, basically my house.

21:30 (about)- Mail delivery, "Just a random example" oh my gosh are Sticky and Reynie about to have it out? Was sticky not getting his letters? So... they're actually ok then and there is no conflict here?

22:30- "not dad roommate". Oh the parallels between Constance and Curtain's lack of vulnerability are coming and I love them. If they give him psychic powers too, it's all really gonna come together. Oh no Milligan, poor guy he's trying so hard. Perhaps he could bond with Kate by providing the backstory of what happened to his wife/Kate's mom (when he remembers it).

26:00- Mr. Benedict would never ask us to desecrate a book- well he literally just did that to put a book inside a book unless he used a fake book.

28:30- Oh hello creepy women staring at the children in a car with no expression. You're unsettling.

29:00- Rhonda and Milligan and Ms. Perumal really should have known better than to leave them alone like that.

29:50- "who knows what danger they could be in" good point Reynie. At this very moment, Curtain might be force feeding them another round of snacks to try to impress his brother with his superior culinary skills.

30:40- Alright! sneaking on the ship. Love the call back to when Constance did that last time.

31:00 - I'm sorry what. What. Why. What. I just want the camera to zoom out and show a employee like "oh my boss is being weird again"... AH YES THERE HE IS!

32:00- At least they gave us a nice breakfast. I KNEW IT. This man may hate you, but he hates you not knowing how good he is at meal prep more, so you know you're gonna eat good. Ah there he is happy as a clam driving his little cart. Yes #2 kill him. Okay Curtain sounds a bit out of it. Is he feeling the effects of Garrison's invention too? He seems less uptight but more unhinged since we last saw him. Which I love.

33:20- this isn't like Reynie. It's just like Kate. Yep, they know their kids. Now go get them!

And that's episode 1 of season 2. I'll post episode 2 later when I get the chance but overall a great start. Still need to know where Martina is. Still need to know where SQ is. STILL NEED JUSTICE FOR MY GIRL GARRISON UNLESS SHE'S BEEN PULLING THE STRINGS THE WHOLE TIME. And also seriously, can we have Benedict met SQ already? Alright, that's it for now.

12 notes · View notes

anonil88 · 1 year

Text

I've run into a logistics optics issue with my modern au quite late into writing this story like I've already drummed up a chapter or 3. So i need help?

Skip to the pumpkin 🎃 if you don't want to read as much.

I wanted to keep Rhaenyra and Alicent the same ages they are in show but like its not middle ages anymore so Alicent having kids with Viserys would just be more than odd in modern times. I wanted to make Aegon this party frat type of kid but if I adjust ages to keep Rhaenyra and Alicent their ages he will be 16/17. Which works kind of in the UK but not really because he can't even buy alcohol, fake id could work. And Aemond will be aged down to 13 from 16 with the change, which won't make sense because he gets in an accident driving. I dont know any country uk or outside that let's 13 year olds drive. But also then its like if i age everyone down but still close then Alicent is still 19 when she met Viserys in a background plot and its still like yikes. Can I just have her be 21 when they all meet and magically these characters still act like their early mid 30s even though they would realistically be closer to 40, which I have a hard time writing without reference. Or do i just say f it keep it the same and make up my own rules for modern Westeros with old Westeros ways too. Maybe I should just scrap the plot and rewrite bits.

🎃 Aegon just turned 17

Aemond and Helaena Irish twins 13

Daeron 10

If I keep, Rhaenyra 33 and Alicent 34 then Alicent would have been 18 or freshly 19 when she met Viserys. Which oof but its book accurate. Or am I overthinking this?

#fanfiction #hotd #hotd fanfic #rhaenicent #rhaenyra x alicent #alicent x rhaenyra #fanfic #help #house of the dragon

10 notes · View notes

moonkssd · 10 months

Text

//I miss my Lugia but her lore was HARD to work with at times.

Born from Kyogre's sadness. Like literal stuff of myths. She was born from his tears.

She also caused a flood that lasted 40 days and nights, basically wiping out a lot of life in the world in her OWN grief. Like father like daughter, I guess?

Spekaing of, had the legendary birbs a la immaculate conception, aka she got pissed, sad and grief filled and suddenly had kids come out of her own tears.

She was a goddess of war in ancient Johto.

Normally sleeps for ages and does not wake up for anyone not worthy of her.

Fun fact, Lance IS worthy, but he is also YIKES depending on the depiction (SpeLance you are unhinged).

Heartbreak WILL kill her. Like turning into seafoam a la OG Little Mermaid.

She's been asleep for hundreds of years so modern stuff is kind of weird to her, but it's kind of charming having her learn about all the new stuff.

#ooc #lugia back in the day was a fun time #I loved the design I gave her #;w;#anyways back to the usual shenanigans

2 notes · View notes

thepropertylovers · 1 year

Text

A Family-Filled Fun Day

Yesterday felt like it was the perfect way to spend a day with our kids before we leave to go out of town.

In case you don’t follow us on Instagram, we mentioned earlier this week that we’re leaving to go out of the country today actually (!), and it will be the longest we’ve ever been away from the kids. And we’re nervous. We’ve never been away from them for more than three of four days, so the thought of being gone eight or nine days feels strange.

We keep asking them if they will be okay or if they think they will miss us too badly and be sad or scared, but (luckily) they just keep saying they can’t wait for us to leave so they can do things like stay up a little later and chew gum, haha. They will be staying with our moms as they take turns watching them for the next week and a half, and they are a little less strict than we are, which I’m happy about. Everyone needs a break every now and then.

So I think we’re the ones who will have a hard time being away from them for so long, which I am also happy about. I would much rather us be the ones crying over them than the other way around.

Yesterday was spent with fun and exciting times with each of the kids in a totally unplanned way. We started with Allan.

His entire 2nd grade class took a field trip to our farm!! That’s right, we had 40 or so eight year olds running around Ocoee Farm and it was the biggest burst of joy for a few hours. They all took turns petting the chickens and holding goslings (they found a way to keep pooping on me over and over again). They fed the sheep and pigs carrots and celery and laughed/screamed when the donkeys sneezed on them.

Allan had a blast showing the kids around the farm, his playground when he gets home from school every day. I know how much joy he must have felt to have all of his friends and teachers in his happy place, a place he’s been to a million times but that they’re seeing with fresh, curious eyes. To him, it’s his backyard. To them, it was the reason for an entire field trip.

There was time for a Q&A and PJ answered about 100 questions on the pavilion about our animals and the farm. It was so cute to hear their little questions about everything and nothing. I love the way kids’ minds work. So curious. And PJ did so well!! He used to be a camp counselor and is used to speaking to and educating groups of kids, so he was a natural. All his old training came back to him, or seemingly never left? Either way, he was fabulous.

Beau was there to help out, too, and even grabbed some photos of the morning. Thank you so much, Beau!!!

After that, we got a message from Anna’s teacher saying they would be getting out of school early because their A/C is broken and it was 80 degrees in their classroom. Yikes. So we headed to the school to get her. We spent an hour with our girl, just the three of us, as we listened to her tell us about her day and watched her eat her new favorite snack: a giant heated-up-in-the-microwave marshmallow. The girl has an affinity for sweets.

After about an hour and a half, it was time to head back to school for Riah’s kindergarten program. It’s crazy to me that he will be in FIRST grade next year. What? How? When did this happen and where was I? Our youngest son can’t be in first grade already. Time hasn’t made sense for the last few years, but the fact that he will be a first grader in just a few months is something my brain can’t comprehend.

We sat in the first row as he and his classmates performed quite a few songs in front of a crowded auditorium of proud parents and supportive family members. It was the cutest. Riah had the biggest smile on his face the whole time, in between looking a little reserved and nervous. He did so well, though. There was also a slideshow of the whole year with the background music being “Never Grow Up” by Taylor Swift, which was a perfect choice by his teacher, if I do say so myself.

Then it was time for certificates. The principal called each of the kindergartners’ names and they took turns walking across the stage, collecting their certificate in the process. Before kids, I had always thought of kindergarten graduations as pointless and silly. Now though, I thought it was the sweetest thing ever, and I know we were both so proud of him for such a wonderful year. He has had the best teacher and we wish she was still going to be in the same position next year so that Anna could have her!

After his program, we checked him and Allan out of school for the rest of the day to spend it together at home before we all headed out to eat and go to Walmart for last minute things before our trip.

Now we are at the airpot waiting for our flight, and I am writing this from one of the seats in the terminal. It’s only been a few hours but we’re already missing them so badly. Walking through the airport and seeing all the little kids running around with their little suitcases is only reminding us of traveling with our kids, and how much we love it. They do so well in airports and on planes and it really is so fun to travel and take them places and show them somewhere new. Hoping for a lot of that this summer!!

Next time we check in will be from Barcelona, so here’s to a safe flight!!!

4 notes · View notes

scare-ard--sleigh · 2 years

Note

I have fondness for transmasc Kendall as a concept, but I think I get what you mean. The main hitch for me is I find it pretty difficult to imagine him being allowed to explore queer identity in any life-altering way even if he went stealth, especially as a child when he would've had basically zero autonomy. So personally I tend to see it as more of an AU thing to experiment with.

Also I have strong feelings about how an AFAB Kendall would've turned out as even more of a Daddy's Girl than Shiv and bordering on tradfem, but I don't wanna keep going on lol

yesss exactly, i wanna see the subtext so bad but like given how possessive logan is when kendall's a full-assed 40 year old it just. i can't see logan (or caroline for that matter) allowing it, and i don't see kendall being willing to explore that part of himself because it would mean doing something that could jeopardize getting that love/acceptance/etc. from logan.

and that ties into your next ask, because i tooooootally agree--even if afab kendall didn't resonate with the tradfem-type vibe, that would be the role they'd internalize as The Way to Get Logan's Affection (and that's heartbreaking for a lot of reasons, yikes!)

anyway all of that said, i love other people's interpretations of things bc they make me think Big Thoughts! and i also really love aus that are part thought experiments, looking at canon through different lenses and from different angles can be a lot of fun !! :' )

#successionblogging #also thank you for this !! i love your insights as always :' )

15 notes · View notes

bigcats-birds-and-books · 1 year

Note

For the book ask - 18, 33, 36 (yes I'm gonna make you total all the book purchases no you don't have to include gifted books 🤣)

thanks for the ask, referencing this post, even though you are ABSOLUTELY Coming For Me With A Knife, Here:

18. Least favourite books of the year

unfortunately i nerfed myself by not lowball rating ANYthing, this year. on the one hand, that’s good, because it means i didn’t read anything TOO shitty, but on the other hand: yikes what didn’t i like lol.

i was most disappointed in A MASTER OF DJINN, because i love love love his shorter work, and his first Novel Length Thing didn’t quite deliver for me :/ the worldbuilding in that was still cool, though, so i think Least Favorite has to go to HE MELE A HILO: A HILO SONG by Ryka Aoki (yes, that same Aoki, of LIGHT FROM UNCOMMON STARS), because it was Very Disjointed, Very Many POV, and Very Episodic. and i know it’s bad when i think something is too episodic...i was ensaddened by that, too, because the premise seemed very cool, and it also didn’t deliver for me.

33. Did you DNF anything?

i did not!! unless you count the AFRICA: A BIOGRAPHY book that’s still languishing on my goodreads Currently Reading (i swear i’ll finish it someday, it’s just. today is Not That Day), or my ongoing HARROW reread, because i’m on page 294, currently. i am planning on remedying the HARROW DNF by tomorrow, though, so that probably doesn’t count either XD it also probably doesn’t count because i’m love harrow and the only reason my reread’s not finished yet is because of Time lol

i don’t, in general, DNF things, because even if they’re not sparking joy for me, i turn it into a Well Why? exercise and activate the writerly hat instead. i also read fast enough once i get going that it doesn’t feel like a time waste, and i thrive on a good cathartic Spite Read.

36. How many books did you buy?

oh coming for me with a KNIFE i see okay let’s go~~

criteria: books purchased this year (so i’m not counting preorders that were Delivered This Year), not gifted or as gifts (i tallied digitally-purchased gifts separately anyway, i had to, although in my defense i did do a lot more Knitting Gifts than Book Gifts this year so that number won’t be as high as it could be, and it’s mostly Bot by Volume), caveat criteria: i only actually tallied things i bought online, and i know i bought At Least Two Books IRL--two can probably be rounded up to five, but i didn’t actually enter too many bookstores and walk out with things this year because i know that’s Dangerous for my wallet.

method: i checked All The Websites i frequent for my book procuring needs. these are: 1. downbound, 2. barnes and noble, 3. bookshop, 4. prologue, and 5. HPB (also 6. brilliant books, but i didn’t buy anything from them this year). i tallied books as either purchases For Me, or Gifts.

results: look, i made a list:

prologue - 1 for me, 0 gifts

hpb - 0 for me, 1 boxed set (4 books) gift

bookshop - 3 for me, 0 gifts

b&n - 8 for me, 1 gift

downbound - 15 for me, 3 gifts

walking into physical bookstores, probably, conservatively: 5 for me, ?? gifts

bringing our grand total to: 32 for me, either 5 or 8 as gifts, depending on how you count the boxed set (all but 1 of the gift books was murderbot, btw)

that five (5) is Definitely Conservative, so probably truly i bought between 35 and 40 books this year, is my best guess, WHICH MEANS, i did, in fact, read more books than i purchased!! muahaha!! (we’re ignoring books i Was Gifted, also, because ahahaha yikes if we count those the books acquired to books consumed ratio is no longer weighted in the correct direction for knocking down my tbr)

thanks, friend, this was fun, DESPITE you coming for me with a naked blade XD !!!

#text #book games #books #ask games #answered #gaywinemommarianhawke #IT'S REALLY ACTUALLY NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HONESTLY #i got three books for christmas from parents and two from friend!!#i absolutely do not remember how many i got for my birthday XD

3 notes · View notes