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calypsoff · 3 years

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Thirty Three. Part 2

I was dreaming of her, dreaming of her scent, her voice, her breathy moans in my ear as she curled against me, hands exploring her body. My eyes shot open, breathing heavily. My hand wiping my forehead, I am sweating. That dream felt kind of real, like she was here with me. I really want her so bad, staring up to the ceiling trying to gather myself, I just knew it. I knew I would be dreaming of Robyn after that facetime call, she was turning me on but I ended up falling asleep, clearly. Looking down at myself, I haven’t peed myself, but my dick is so fucking hard right now. Reaching my hand to the side of me, grabbing my phone from the side table “damn” it’s only like four in the morning, I wonder if Robyn is awake or will be asleep. Let me try her, you never know she may be awake, and she could help me with this issue, I mean this is on her and she did turn me on looking that fine. Tapping on Twin’ name, I feel so goofy right now. I can’t believe I am here having a nasty dream about Robyn, like am I child “you’re awake poppa?” oh Robyn is awake, she really awake “you having a party or something?” sounds like it “just a few drinks with my friends, I am shocked. You fell asleep, is everything ok?” I want Robyn so bad right now, it’s been far too long “mhmm I want you” I said it and I can only imagine what Robyn’ face is like “I am here?” she retorted “like I want you, your legs around my head, I am here dreaming of you. I want you so bad” the line went silent “oh” she let out “you are thinking on when I called you daddy” she said in a whisper, that soothing, sexy voice humming over the “could say” I whispered, I don’t know why I am whispering “It is late you know..” she dragged out “I need you” I said it again, I know she is smirking “I am going to bed” Robyn announced “he harassing you, go away poppa” they all calling me that “stop it now, I will be back. Depends” on she won’t be back, she is lying.

I smiled, she is in her hotel room now. God, I want her so bad. I exhaled slowly, mouth away from the receiver. There was a long comfortable silence, she is just listening to my breathing and I listened to her's. If we both closed our eyes it was like we were still next to each other. All that was missing was her warmth, her presence, everything I could hope to have, just short of the real thing. Breaking the silence “I watched you sleep for a while, I can’t believe you fell asleep on me though” I chuckled “medication kicking my ass” it’s like I could hear her smile, and as I closed my eyes I could see her. Delicate smile on her face, the phone to her ear “What are you wearing?” I asked her, voice soft and seductive “same thing I showed you earlier, just panties and a robe. How about you?” Robyn’ voice is so fucking beautiful, it’s sexual as fuck “me, uhm boxers. That is all” I missed her, but phone sex. That was just gonna make me miss her more “I was dreaming about you…” I whispered, “Oh really?” She asked, her curiosity peeked by her words and her sultry tone “And what was I doing?” oh we are doing this.

Waving to the crowd as I walked off stage, another date done. Another day down, closer to when I see my man. I am so excited to see him, he thinks I am not coming because I said I need to go Atlantic City but he doesn’t understand I have a two day break so I am seeing him, I am close by so I thought I would see him. See how he is, clearly he has become hornier. This man has sent me nothing but dick pictures, I am sick. He is sending them unprovoked now, I mean I don’t mind it but give me a break. I see his penis more than my own breasts, but I have to entertain him, of course I will he is my man. I have a rolling stone interview tonight so that will be done and in the morning I have the photoshoot and then after that I will be with Chris, I am keeping to the I am not coming vibe, I want to surprise him. I am super proud of him; I did think he would kick off way more then I thought but he hasn’t. He has used the time to reflect on things, he seems so much calmer “another day done” my tour manager said, Tina passed me my jacket “thank you baby and yes, I can’t wait for this shit to be over. Not in a bad way but I just have a lot on right now” making my way backstage ready to leave this place.

Making my way into the living room “Josh” the interviewer shot up, he seemed in a daze to meet me “wow, you are just amazing” shaking his hand “you think so” I laughed “I am nothing special now boy, come on. Nice that you can come out so late, you ready for the club? You don’t look it” I pointed at his outfit “club?” he retorted caught off guard “you hanging with Rihanna boy, you going to party with me. I mean we just going to go and have some fun, welcome to my life boo. Come” waving him over, I need a drink before we go “I didn’t know, the office just said to be here for eleven” I laughed, I laughed out because I was late “and I had you waiting outside, one thing about me. I will be late for everything, you smoke?” sitting on the bar stool “no, not at all” this guy needs better shoes “so they got me hanging with a nigga with bad shoes, I mean by all means but come on” picking the pre-rolled blunt from the counter “I left this for future Rihanna, past Rihanna rolled this and left for the concert and look, I am happy now” I smiled to myself “and relax Josh, I don’t bite” I winked at him “Tina! Pour some drinks for us” placing the blunt between my lips, grabbing the lighter to light the blunt “I am not prepared, I am just saying this out loud, you are very empowering” he is just full of compliments, clearly.

Josh and I clinked glasses “this bitch is my best friend Mel, I do not go anywhere without her. She is my other half” drinking the wine “so you both been friends since forever? Day one?” nodding my head “it was never a thing of she doesn’t have the talent or that she is not me. She is me, we are one. She is my best friend, my lover. She kept my bed warm at night, not in that way” I laughed “but where I go she goes, we been riding for each other since school. My team, we are all close. Shit, they all seen me naked, I walk around naked. Not in this occasion but we close, family type of close” Josh is just soaking everything in, an interviewer of course he is “does Mel still keep your bed warm at night now” I giggled “not that I know have a boyfriend, no” Mel and I just laughed “there was a lot of speculation that you was cheating on ASAP Rocky when you got with your current boyfriend, how it just started. I don’t know if that is something you read but it seemed like you had him there and had ASAP, was that the case or not” shaking my head “no, I am not a cheater. It happened quick and I get that I really do but I told Rakim straight away. I may have jumped because I was excited, I haven’t seen him for what seven years? So when I saw him, I just yeah. But I am happy, so happy that I could see myself leaving fame” I said it but laughed, I laughed it off but I meant it “you would do that?” Josh questioned “to protect my relationship, to confirm Chris hasn’t said any of this or asked of me to do that but he got hurt because of me, I love my fans I do but I have to think of my happiness but I won’t leave yet but it’s just something there” Josh looks shook “I hope you don’t, I think you got so much more to do yet, we haven’t heard the last of you” I pointed at him smiling “exactly, we can drink to that” holding my glass up.

Putting my earrings on, I wasn’t lying about going to the club “anyone got Josh new shoes” making my way out of the bedroom “wowee” he is crushing on me “I want you to include how much you crushing on me” I laughed “I will, because there is no denying how gracefully beautiful you are. After the incident at your home, the guy got sentenced and it was mentioned he was there for you? He quoted things that I am not repeating, and I am sure you read, does that not scare you?” taking in a deep breath “I can’t be scared all my life with things, I can only pray to god to look over me. Men can be scary, let’s be real. If I was alone, I don’t know. And it does scare me because there are some crazy people out there, I just want to move on from it. I do” sitting down on the couch “is your boyfriend not here? Does he know he got attacked because of you?” I chuckled “he does, and he is in his hometown healing. I will be moving away from that place, sometimes I think I want to move out of country. Maybe back to Barbados where I can be me, where I don’t need to look over my shoulder, where my family and friends can be happy, you know?” shaking my head “maybe that is the peace you need, which leads me to you being stressed which caused you to miscarry. I am sorry to hear that happened to you, when I read it on TMZ and I saw the video of you crying, you made me cry because I could feel your pain through it, it was a weird feeling. The love and support you received and how you highlighted that this happens to a lot of women and how stressful it can be, being in the that moment for you, how did you feel?” I hate speaking on it but it’s my first interview since “erm, wow. I find it hard still, look at me teary eyed. But I uhm, when I was told I didn’t believe it. I just went within myself; I was in shock and I was in pain. So much pain, I am not stupid because if we’re having sex without protection I knew I would fall pregnant and look at god, I just feel pain. And I do, but with the help and support I push through. The baby wasn’t developed fully but when I read that it’s heart would be beating; it just makes me cry. I lost a piece of me when that happened, and then when Chris got hurt. I just felt pain, I felt like I was getting attacked like I am not supposed to be happy. But I need to protect my family, so yeah. Once this tour is over I have a lot to think about, for me, for my family, for my relationship” smiling lightly.

“Do you feel like your career has got in the way? Because I don’t know if I am hearing this right from you, do you think the things that happened wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t on tour?” Josh asked, I paused thinking trying to gather my thoughts “if you are asking if I wouldn’t have lost my baby, you’re right. I had a lot on without noticing, I am to blame too because I was changing, and I didn’t take action. I think maybe I have been thinking about my future too much that now I feel like I am too busy, but I am not saying I would leave music, I love doing it but I think I need to have my time, I need to heal properly. Nobody is me; nobody understands how I feel when I stand there. Because it was me, and I am going to be selfish and I am going to spend time with my man, but I think leaving the country seems to be my way forward anyways” I want to stray away from that miscarriage shit “are you in love?” I laughed out “yes I am, this is why I don’t get why people think I was cheating on Rakim. What happened was I knew Chris from when I came here as an exchange student, I knew him, and I fell for him there, but we split paths and we met again. I never forgot him Josh, never did. You just don’t, not when someone makes you smile the way they do. Am I in love? Yes I am, it’s rare to find that and I did. I found it in him and if you met him, you will see what I love about him, oh are we ready to go?” grabbing my glass, I am ready to get out of here.

I hope Chris appreciates this because I have been to the club, had that interview. Went to bed and then had the photoshoot in the morning all to fit him in, I can even stay the night. I am tired, the fuck. I don’t even know where Tina put him, I just said I did but I really don’t, she found the place, but it seems very peaceful around here, quiet and out of the way. I said to my manager I will see them in Baltimore tomorrow “is this the place?” I have no idea what I be paying out for “yes it is” oh this is fancy, no wonder Chris said it was too nice, I am super excited to see Chris in person. I am tired of talking to him dirty too, he is a damn feign. I don’t even want to think where he is putting those cumrags, he is nasty so I can only imagine “I can open my car door, thank you. See you tomorrow” grabbing the backpack “are you sure? I will watch you go in” opening the door and getting out of the SUV “thank you” closing the door, walking up the drive. Chris is having breakfast in the afternoon, he said he just woke up so I guess it will be a nice surprise for him. Walking up the steps, I can’t wait to see my bald poppa in person. Knocking on the door and stepping back from the door, I know they are eating but someone can open the damn. I know Chris won’t be coming to the door, I was going to knock again but I can see someone coming to the door. Seeing Clinton’ face “hey” I said smiling “oh wow, what a great surprise. Come in, come in please” he opened the door wider for me “what that!?” Chris shouted, stepping inside “he is in the dining room, he is going to be so excited. Does he know? I don’t think he does, or he would have mentioned it” shaking my head following Clinton to the dining room “who is it?” Chris asked again “for you” Clinton pointed behind him, Chris looked behind him “w-what? Twin?” he said in shock “I came to see your bald self in person, hey boys” placing my backpack down “oh my god, you are really here. Wow” placing my arm around him, pressing a kiss to the top of his bald head “I have been waiting to do that to you” Chris is still trying to get over me being here, he is shocked.

#Chrianna FF #Chrianna #Chrianna Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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mylifeiskara · 4 years

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Happy Holidays*, Have a Fic Rec List!

So I realized recently that even though I didn’t start interacting with people until like September, I got back into The 100 last January, even if it was mostly just scrolling through the tags to see what was going on. I’ve been absolutely floored by the writing talent in this fandom, and everyone I’ve interacted with has been so warm and welcoming, which has only encouraged me to write more. So to mark my almost a year of being a lurker and as a fun sort of holiday present to everyone for being so nice, I thought I would go through all my bookmarks and AO3 history and find some of my favorite fics I’ve read this year and share them, complete with commentary somewhat like the way I leave comments on AO3! I’ve read so many more amazing fics than just these ones (which is surprising because I’m a really slow reader), so thank you to literally everyone who writes for this fandom, because you’re all superstars! I get so excited every time someone shares something new, and my marked for later list just keeps getting longer.

This list is mostly Bellarke, but there’s also a couple Murven and one Memori. It’s also abundantly clear that I read mainly modern AUs, so I didn’t bother separating canon things from modern things, but I did separate the complete works and the WIPs. And if I don’t know someone’s Tumblr, I’m just gonna link their AO3 profile!

*I’m pretty sure only one of these fics has to do with a winter holiday, so sorry if that’s misleading!

Complete

Your words on my skin by not_a_total_basket_case Bellamy/Clarke, Rated G (Multi-Chapter) This is the first The 100 fic I ever read, so obviously it has to go first on my list. I don’t read many soulmate AUs, but I liked that soulmates communicated to each other through notes on their skin. The whole thing is just so soft, and I’ve read it a bunch of other times since my first reading. Also bonus points for Clarke and Bellamy being absolute idiots in love.

Feels Like Reckless Driving When We’re Talking by Chash Bellamy/Clarke, Rated E (Multi-Chapter) In this one there’s an age swap, so Bellamy is younger than Clarke, who’s a single mom in her 30s. Bonus points for the presence of Murphy and Emori to help get Clarke out of her head and out of the house so she can meet Bellamy, a hot younger man!

so i sing a song of love by @hiddenpolkadots Bellamy/Clarke, Rated M (One-Shot) This is my comfort fic! I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it, but it’s one I keep going back to. I love a good friends with benefits complicated by feelings, and also in this case, pregnancy.

I’ll always wear the crown that you gave me by bellamysgriffinprincess Bellamy/Clarke, Rated G (One-Shot) Best friend’s brother is one of my favorite tropes, and I really love the evolution of Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship throughout the story.

Talking with You in the Dark by @bettsfic Bellamy/Clarke, Rated E (One-Shot) This is like “oh my god they were roommates” adjacent (since they’re neighbors), which is what I like about it. I think I’m just a sucker for stories where Bellamy and Clarke’s relationship kind of evolves in a very natural way. Also the simple ask of wanting to share a bed with someone because you’re lonely is such a mood.

the naked truth by @kombellarke Bellamy/Clarke & Murphy/Raven, Rated E (Multi-Chapter) Speaking of “oh my god they were roommates”! This fic has so much great angst! It’s probably the angstiest thing on this list! I’m not sure if I can adequately put into words my feelings about this fic, other than it’s great, and I feel like everyone’s read it already, but here it is so you can read it again!

guess it’s never really over by @captaindaddykru Bellamy/Clarke, Rated M (One-Shot) I love how even when Bellamy and Clarke are divorced, they’re clearly still so in love. It’s why the idea of them having another kid together didn’t sound absolutely absurd to either of them, and that’s the tea.

You Should Still Take Me Home by @eyessharpweaponshot Bellamy/Clarke, Rated T (One-Shot) This has many things I love, which are fics about New Year’s, friends with benefits, and a college setting. It’s the dream! And it’s really cute!

Here’s What I’ve Got (The Reasons Why Our Marriage Might Work) by @marauders-groupie Bellamy/Clarke, Rated T (Multi-Chapter) I have been trying to come up with the words to describe the way this fic made me feel literally ever since I read it, but my God, I still feel like what I say wouldn’t do it justice. Also there is a very particular word I’m searching for that I have yet to land on. It’s so beautifully written, and I love stories that begin after the couple has broken up. Also they’re actors, and I love a celebrity AU!

Potions et Patroni by chants_de_lune Bellamy/Clarke, Rated T (One-Shot) I love anything to do with Harry Potter or Hogwarts, so adding Bellarke to the mix was just right up my alley. If you haven’t noticed, I really love watching/reading the natural evolution of a relationship, which this fic does a great job of. Also if I were a student at Hogwarts, I would have thought Professor Blake and Professor Griffin were a couple the moment I stepped foot into the school.

starry eyes and galaxy minds (we’ll be dancing on the clouds at night) by @pawprinterfanfic Bellamy/Clarke, Rated M (One-Shot) If Bellamy were Spider-Man, I too would fall in love with him, solely based on his voice. When he removed his mask, him being incredibly attractive would just be an added bonus.

Eons With You by @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold Bellamy/Clarke, Rated G (One-Shot) Another great soulmate fic I stumbled upon! I feel like I’ve never gotten into soulmate AUs until this fandom, but that’s just truly the only way to describe what Bellamy and Clarke are to each other? So yeah, this one has reincarnation and the time periods that are in it are so vivid and great.

And in Other News... by @jeanie205 Bellamy/Clarke, Rated T (Multi-Chapter) News anchors! Who make the most perfect team on the planet! There’s some angst, but this is great fluff. And more bonus points for Clarke and Bellamy being idiots in love.

Rock Bottom by @detectivebellamyblake Bellamy/Clarke & Murphy/Raven, Rated E (Multi-Chapter) Wowee, I love so many things about this fic! Clarke and Murphy are my brotp, so I think that’s why I clicked on it to begin with. I hope to have a group of friends like this when I’m in my mid to late 20s, so I guess I’ve got a couple more years to get working on that. I also love that everyone ends up owning up to the shit they’ve done wrong and growing, which is something we don’t always get to see. And there are such cute moments between so many characters!

Burning Cities and Napalm Skies by @jarleene Murphy/Raven, Rated M (Multi-Chapter) Honestly, don’t remember how I found this one, but I’m so glad I stumbled upon it. I’m really only into Murven in AUs (as I’m low key Memori trash), but this fic just had me hooked. Also as someone who wondered if the show would ever question having to repopulate the human race, I was very on board with the concept. Dare I say bits of this more sense than the season 6 we were actually given?

feat. by Debate Murphy/Emori, Rated T (One-Shot) Please forgive the fact that I called myself Memori trash, yet there is only one Memori fic on this rec list. (But also, if anyone wants to rec me some Memori stuff, literally send it all my way!) I love musician AUs, so I was immediately sold on the idea of Murphy admiring Emori’s band’s music and wanting to write a song with her. It’s just so cute!

WIPs Not as many of these, because I can only follow along with so many unfinished things at a time, but these are ones I’ve been keeping up with!

If the Right One Came Along by @useyourtelescope Bellamy/Clarke, Rated M Another celebrity AU, with a side of friends with benefits! Bellamy is a famous historian, and I am here for that. Literally peak nerd, I’m so proud of him. I really enjoy Clarke and Bellamy’s dynamic as they have to figure out how to be friends again after naturally drifting apart when he moved away. And it feels like each subsequent chapter gets cuter!

All Because of You by @burninghoneyatdusk Bellamy/Clarke, Rated E It’s another best friend’s brother fic! This time with a pregnancy! I really enjoy that this story switches back and forth between the past and the present, so we get to see moments of Bellamy and Clarke when they were teenagers/baby adults, and we get to see them be amazing co-parents in the present as well.

The Hungry and The Hunted by @octaviadblake Bellamy/Clarke, Rated T As I said before, I love musician AUs, and I’m so absolutely pumped for more of this story. I’m a huge fan of Bellamy and Murphy’s dynamic. The 80s setting works really well, and I’m already preparing myself for the coming angst.

someone let the poets out by @kindclaws Bellamy/Clarke, Rated M Another actor AU! But this time, actors gone rogue! This fic is also really cool because it’s mixed media, so there’s little tweets and Tumblr posts and whatnot throughout, so I’ll give you the same recommendation the author does to not read this one on mobile.

That’s all I’ve got for now. But happy reading!

#the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #bellarke fanfiction #bellarke fic rec #the 100 fic rec #fic rec #this was fun to curate #and if anyone wants another at any point in time #hit me up and let me know

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half-man-half-lime · 4 years

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On why being dark makes Worm a good power fantasy

Okay I have a tendency to pointlessly and circuitously ramble so I’m just gonna leave a TL;DR up here: Worm shows that the most powerless people in the most hopeless situations can still make a difference through perseverance.

So here and there I’ve seen posts going around (not gonna search and link the various posts I’m referencing in this post, it’s 2 AM and I’m lazy) about why everyone should shut up about people liking lighter works, and how Steven Universe is a great work of escapism because it lets people experience a world where compassion can win wars and make the world a better place. I’m not gonna argue about whether lighter or darker stuff is better, the point of those posts is people can like what they want (also see that one comic I’m not gonna link where stories are balloons and someone makes a heavy iron balloon and drops it into a pit and someone stuck in the muck grabs a hold of it; you know the one).

But that stuff HAS been making me think about why Worm is a good escapist fantasy in a number of ways. My analysis of the Parahumans stories has been kind of sidetracked by the amazing analysis by the We’ve Got Worm/Ward podcast, all that stuff about characterization and themes and shit, it’s great, but all that stuff plus the YBUTTing (You’re Being Unfair To Taylor, basically dismantling her moral justifications and pointing out the negative effect her moral choices have on her and those around her) kind of make you forget the childish, sadistic appeal of a story about a girl who cuts people’s eyes out and is Completely Justified in doing so and also Extremely Clever like a seasoned D&D player. And that stuff is fun, even if it gets less so after too many rereads. (Seriously, I’ve listened to the audiobooks so many times now, I’ve lost count.)

But one thing Matt and Scott and the reddit commenters have discussed is the usefulness of horror story elements as a way of establishing stakes, which brings me to my point: It’s really fucking empowering to see a nerdy teenage girl take down invincible serial killers and bully god to death when she seems like she should have absolutely no way or right to do so.

Like, one of the reasons One Piece was always so appealing to me, something that sort of faded with the power creep and repetition of the same story beats over and over again, is how satisfying it is to see Luffy and pals take down warlords and tyrants a thousand times stronger than them through sheer force of will. What right does this punk-ass kid from the East Blue with stretchy powers have to take down a powerful Fish-Man, or a lightning-slinging self-proclaimed god, or a seasoned undercover assassin with a thirst for blood? But he does it anyway! He works out and trains and shit, and basically wrecks his body sometimes, and in the end, after a lot of screaming and punching, those guys are gone, and he’s still here! Because they had the audacity to hurt his friends, and he and his pals will fucking bully reality into doing what they want if it means stopping people who do those sort of things.

Now the thing about Taylor Hebert is she isn’t strong, not physically. This bullied kid never got super-strength or web-slingers to swing around on, nor the charisma to make quips and piss off the local mad scientists. She’s clever, but not enough to build a laser gun or a giant robot. She controls bugs. Wowee. Like the Stretchy Man, she should by all rights be underwhelming to deal with, but somehow she always seems to make it out alive, her enemies leaving without the eyeballs or prosthetic foreheads they came in with. (Don’t worry, they both got new ones, it just took a while. Well. Not Valefor.)

And that’s cool in a vacuum, but in the Parahumans universe? That’s an accomplishment. The Endbringers and the Slaughterhouse Nine, the horror as stakes, they’re like an uphill battle against a bigger, steeper uphill battle. And Taylor has bugs. She can’t chop Leviathan in half, and if she tries (which she does, to a degree), she risks drowning, being crushed and paralyzed, and being thrown headfirst into a concrete floor all at the same time. So she slinks around the Endbringers, too far away to be stepped on, giving CPR to the fighters wounded in battle; she plots against the Nine and probes for weaknesses, even if it means risking herself and her teammates. She beats the shit out of the genius killer mannequin man, not with fireballs or hundred-ton punches, but with spiderwebs and glue, and in the end, after being wounded and exhausted, tens of people are alive because of what she did.

To compare this to Steven Universe, or the opposite side of Skitter’s coin, the Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (though sadly SU is a better comparison because on top of the positivity it handles things like abuse and trauma) (woe is me that I’m too lazy to write crossover or toneswap fanfic, between Worm and USG by the way, if you want to do that for me, be my guest (Also a Freaks and Geeks mashup, Worms and Germs)), it’s enormously encouraging that Steven is ultimately able to stop the onslaught of genocidal space empresses, not by punching them, but by appealing to their humanity, a task that his upbringing and challenges completely prepared him for. Doreen Green, in a world of angsty heroes and villains and murder and trauma, can befriend her enemies and stop them by suggesting more fulfilling career goals, or end centuries of interstellar war with a chalk board and a day or two of diplomatic negotiations.

And that’s appealing especially today because a lot of people feel tired of fighting and knowing that no amount of talking or empathy will stop transphobes and Trump supporters from making the world a waking nightmare. And plenty of people are tired of stories of Hopeless Bleak Despair, and want a little compassion in their lives. I get that, I truly do. I enjoy those stories for the same reasons.

BUT, Worm means a lot to me right now too. And it wouldn’t be the same without the pain and suffering. Scaring the Slaughterhouse Nine out of Brockton Bay wouldn’t seem like such an achievement if we didn’t see Brian cut to pieces, doomed to permanent PTSD, while the Undersiders lie paralyzed on the floor, subject to Bonesaw’s torturous whims. The defeat of Behemoth would seem a little more predictable and boring if the Avengers pulled it off in an hour, without hundreds of dead heroes (and thousands more who died in past fights), infighting, and the threat of an ally destroying all of India in a misguided attempt to stop the beast. Mannequin running away from a super-puncher or a fireball-shooter wouldn’t feel like the accomplishment it does coming from the scared teenage girl whose only weapons are some squishy bugs, a knife and baton, and some craft supplies.

Worm presents a world where suffering is everywhere, where the where traumatized, hopeless people can fight and fight and endure endless pain, lose loved ones and body parts, be given just little enough power by those that seek to exploit and hurt them that they shouldn’t be able to fight back, to leverage nothing but pepperspray and spiders against dragons, and, after all that struggling and fighting and pain, actually make the bad guys stop hurting people. (it’s like that Chesterton quote in Coraline that people misattribute to Neil Gaiman, about how fantasy shows us how dragons can be beaten.)

And it’s an upsetting and exhausting story to read, especially binge reading or listening, and it ends in genuine heartbreaking tragedy, yet somehow the victory seems like one of the most earned wins in all of fiction. Nobody should be able to defeat Grieving Golden Jesus or Superdense Hurricane Godzilla, and that’s why it’s so empowering when Taylor Hebert fucking does.

Isn’t that just as reassuring, in a world that seems so hopeless right now, when we all feel so powerless, so tired of struggling? I think so.

#Parahumans #Worm Spoilers #Mild One Piece Spoilers #Steven Universe Spoilers #Mutilation.;#Mild Unbeatable Squirrel Girl Spoilers

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calumsdaydream · 5 years

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this is a Calum Hood AU.

keep in mind it’s my first one so go easy on me

it’s vv soft and I cried while writing this so enjoy.

———

you’ve always been ashamed of your body.

you know you’re not fat, but you can’t help but think that you’re not good enough for calum. You are convinced he is absolutely the most beautiful thing that has ever walked the earth, and you, you could never match up to how breath-taking he is.

you’ve been in a relationship for about four months now, and you can’t help but think that you’ve let him down. You’re not some skinny 5’ 8 brunette with a model figure. You don’t have straight A’s and you’re not high on the social patriarchy of highschool.

on this particular night, you’re sitting in your room, cocooned in your big white comforter, looking on Instagram at all of the obviously more beautiful girls at your school, that calum, really, could have in the blink of an eye. you knew it was bad for your mental health, but you couldn’t help it. you just felt so down. Before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face, as you silently sobbed into your duvet. Your mind constantly wandered around the thought that calum would leave you for someone else. It just made you so sad.

there was so much negativity swimming around your brain that you didn’t even notice the door to your room creak open, or the man -occupied by your thoughts- walk in and sit on the edge of your bed. he couldn’t take seeing you so sad, for he longed to see your -in his eyes- breathtaking smile, so he crawled over to the other side of your bed, and lay down next to you. Calum scooped you up with both of his arms, and set you into his lap, letting you melt into his body.

you weren’t even surprised or scared when he took ahold of you, simply because the very moment he touched you, you knew it was him. his calloused fingers, rough -but at the same time- soft hands, and his gentle touch you’ve all grown so used to. you just sink into his body as much as possible, and you fit into his like two pieces in a puzzle.

“what’s wrong babygirl?” calum whispers softly, gently scratching your scalp, because he knows just how much you love that. your attention falls away from the heart-wrenching thoughts for a moment, instead thinking about how his fingers felt against your scalp, tracing soothing patterns across the top of your head in a way that could put you to sleep in a matter of seconds. all that was heard between you two were the faint breathes shared between your almost silent sobs. by now you were calmed down, just a few tears finishing down your flushed cheeks, as you finally decide to answer him.

“i just don’t feel like I’m good enough for you.” you said, just above a whisper, still snuggled up to human sized teddy bear as you confess your fears to him.

calum was stunned at your answer. he never wanted someone as amazing as you to ever think about yourself in such a disheartened manner. if he had it his way, you would have the sun, moon, and all of the stars in galaxy, if that’s what made you happy.

“how could you ever think that, princess? you are everything I could ever need.” calum told, in a calming tone.

“I don’t know. I- I just feel like there are so many better girls you could have.” You sniffled, beginning to feel your eyes water up all over again.

calum, was yet, again astonished by your words. “Angel, you have no idea do you? You are absolutely amazing. I- I couldn’t have found anyone better for me in the whole town. i don’t think you understand how perfect you are” calum didn’t care if you had only been dating for barely four months. he’s felt more himself in that small amount of time than he has the last 4 years of his life.

“but how?” tears were now spilling down your face, but you just stared at the beige wall in front of you, unable to comprehend your boyfriends thoughts. “how could you choose me, a small, not sk-skinny, blonde girl that has no friends? i just don’t understand”

“y/n.” calum said to you, and he took a deep breath.

“y/n, look at me.” He commanded softly, turning you around, so that you were now on your knees, facing him. all you did was stare at your hands as they twiddled with eachother , awaiting what he was going to say.

calum tenderly placed his pointer finger under your chin, and brought your face up so you were looking straight into his eyes. your lower lip trembled as you tried to hold in your tears, and he wondered how someone as flawless and beautiful as you, could ever feel so down.

“listen to me babygirl. you should never have to feel this way. you are the only person I ever want to be with. and you’re body is beautiful, please don’t ever think anything other than that.” this saddened calum to say, for he felt as if someone had hurt you, and made you feel this unnecessary hate towards yourself.

“but I’m not skinny. I can’t wear bikinis to the beach, let alone even wear a swimsuit at all. you should be with someone who has a body as perfect as yours. someone who’s not ashamed of themselves.”

and that statement. that broke his heart. you thought so low of yourself you couldn’t even see how high others thought of you. the thing is, calum absolutely loved your body. you weren’t necessarily skinny, but that didn’t bother him one bit. he preferred your unique body over the overly skinny cheerleaders who ate salads everyday at lunch. your curves and lines and just everything about your figure made his jaw drop everytime he caught even a glimpse of it. in his eyes, you were a complete goddess.

“love, you have to listen to me when I say this. you. are. perfect. I don’t say this to you enough, but baby I don’t know how I even got you. quite frankly, I’m probably the one who doesn’t deserve you.” he just couldn’t fathom having anyone other than you. thinking about it made his head hurt. “your body is unbelievably perfect, so don’t you ever think that those snotty cheerleaders, who haven’t eaten Dairy Queen since they were 10, are any better than you. I love every line and curve you’re made of, and I wouldn’t want any other person to be intimate with.” He shook his head in disbelief, look back up at you with a look in his eyes that you haven’t yet seen before.

“I just- I just don’t believe that you actually gave me a chance, I am beyond grateful that you ever even looked at me a second time. But I am so happy that you did, because I’ve felt more alive in the four months we been together, than I have probably my whole highschool career. you make me the best version of myself, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

by now your heart was beating fast, and you didn’t know how much longer you could last without kissing him. that reassurance was all that you needed to feel on top of the world. the luckiest girl to ever walk the earth. you looked into his eyes, and he brought your face close to his. you could practically feel eachother’s breath on eachothers lips. he leaned his forehead against yours, and your noses touched. this moment was so intimate, and affectionate. you couldn’t possibly have been happier anywhere else, than where you were right now. and in this moment, you knew. you knew how you felt about this man. you loved him. and to be quite honest, it shocked you. to think that you were actually capable of feeling this way, but what surprised you even more- was what calum said next.

“I love you.”

———

wowee.

I hope that was good.

this was inspired by the song arms- the paper kites.

eek. the fluff. and boyfriend!calum

just UGH. I NEED.

#calumhood #calum #calum5sos #calum imagine #calum fic #calumau #5sos #5sos blurb #calum hood 5sos #cth #fanfic #calum hood fanfic #5sos fic #5sos imagine #calum hood fluff #five seconds of summer

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moonraccoon-exe · 5 years

Note

(1) Hello Coonie! *hugs you tightly* So good to hear from you too. I had some stressful days too. I went to Berlin with my mom for a couple of days for our annual city trip and as soon as I returned I fell sick and had no voice for days. Gladly I am well again. And now the 40 degrees hot weather is killing me. It’s the hottest in Germany since we started recording the weather. But don’t wanna complain too much. Berlin was amazing. We visited the botanical garden, wich was so stunning.

(2) The cacti were blooming and the Water Lilies and they had a pond with beautiful Koi Carps. And we visited the Pergamon Museum. Sadly the huge antique pergamon altar was being restored but I got to see the beautiful Ishtar gate and the market gate of miletus. And one day I will surely get so see the altar. :3 But how are things for you? The stressful stuff over? And hopefully the heat isn’t so bad where you are. And lots of luck for you so you will be able to see the blood moon next time.

PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*HUG SQUEEZES*

PERIDOT, YOU MUFFIN, IT’S YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤❤❤

Hewwo Peridot!!!! Happy to be answering to you again!!

Aaah, I’m sorry to hear that you had some stressful days. Lamentably those come and go and all we can do is deal with them. Sorry you had to go through that, though, it’s never comfortable or enjoyable!! Wishing you some really nice restful very wonderful days now

YOU WENT TO BERLIN AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I know it’s just the yearly thing to you but holy shit is it a goal for me!! I bet it’s really beautiful! I’m really glad to know that you had a blast in there!

Though yet again I’m sorry to hear you fell sick and, to make it worse, you were received with such weather. I’ve heard indeed that it’s been a hellhole over there, which is super strange! You europe people are known for constant rain and cold weather, and I mean, even when it’s summer it’s no comparison to tropical countries…so to know you’ve been at 40°C!?!?! That’s HELL, not even me in a tropical country have been in that heat!!! Very close, though, and if we were at 40 I didn’t check, but it’s not usual and GODS if I MELT at 31 I can’t imagine what 40 must have felt. AND TO BE RECEIVED IN THAT HEAT RIGHT WHEN YOU FELL SICK?!?!

Holy cows, I’m sorry about that Peridot! No wonder it was super stressful days to you, it must have been awful, terrible! ;A;

What matters is that you’re doing okay now and much better. Really happy to know that!!! Your voice is back and you’re back on track hek yeh!

YOU WENT TO SEE BOTANICAL STUFF IN BERLIN I WANNA GO I WANNA GO I WANNA GOOOOOOO ASLDKJFGLKDJ LDKAJ

BLOOMING CACTI. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A DREAM, CACTI ARE SO CUTE AND ADORBS AND I LOVE THEM just don’t have them because papa said they’re usual home for spiders? and I’m TERRIBLE WITH SPIDERS KALJSDKLDGJADLK BUT I LOVE SEEING CACTI!!!

HOH!? WATER LILIES’ POND HAD KOI CARPS!?!?

I L O V E KOI CA R P S

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It must have look SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO stunning!!!! What a breathtaking mental image, to get to see a beautiful pond with the roundish leaves idk the name in english and the lilies all over it and the adorable, beautiful, mystica Koi swimming around…AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT!!!!!!!!

HOH! Pergamon Museum? Never heard of it! BETCHA IT’S GLORIOUS THOUGH, Imma look it up in better detail later on!

Aaw, sorry to hear that you didn’t get to see the huge antique altar. I guess it must be one of the main things to see, and even if not, huge and antique and altar? That sounds like something important and that I’d love to see for sure! Sorry that you missed it, but we shall take it as good that authorities are doing restoration works! c:

GASPS.

AN ISHTAR GATE!?!?!?! HOLY ROLLY MACCAROONIE THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN INCREDIBLY VALUABLE, ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL THING!!!!!!!!!!! I JUST GOOGLED IT AND IT LOOKS SO BEAUTIFUL LIKE HOLY WOWEE YOU GUYS HAVE THAT!?!?!??!?! .A.

AND THE MARKET GATE OF MILETUS!?!?!?!??!?!

HOW HAD I NEVER HEARD OF THIS MUSEUM BEFORE HOLY FUCKING MACCAROONIES THAT SOUNDS LIKE ABSOLUTE MADNESS, IT’S INCREDIBLE I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, ISHTAR GATE AND MARKET GATE OF MULETUS ALL IN THE SAME PLACE AKLSJDKLFAJGDKLGDJALGKADJGLKADGJA I CAN BARELY IMAGINE WHAT THE ALTAR LOOKS LIKE!!!!!! HOLY WOOLY ROLLY WHAAAAAAAT!!!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AKLSDJFALKDGJDALKGJAD

*FLAILS ALL OVER THE PLACE*

PERIDOT BUDDY THAT ALL SOUNDS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FANTASTIC AND SO VERY BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! NO WONDER YOU ENJOYED BERLIN I MEAN??? AKSDJFLKAGJADKLGJADKLGJADLKGJAD THAT SOUNDS LIKE A FREAKING EPIC TIME, MUSEUMS ARE THE BEST THING EVER AND I ALREADY LOVE THE PERGAMON MUSEUM AND IT’S A GOAL NOW THANK U

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Peridot, I’m SO happy you got to go out of routine to see wonderful things and go places!!! That’s what does best to the soul, traveling, even if it’s just to other parts of the country/city you hadn’t been to before, especially so to museums and other things alike!! It’s WONDERFUL for you, I’m happy to know all of this!!

Thank you for asking how I’m doing! It’s been good but I’m getting tired really easily. I’m going into uni finally on the 5th, and I’m not THAT excited. It’s on the top 5 of the biggest/most important of latinamerica and it’s free (well, okay, 0.20 centavos which is according to internet 0.01 dollars per semester), so it’s like the absolute dream of so many people, there’s a lot that move from other states to the capital and the suburban areas (same school but it’s got like 10 campuses), which is huge because the country is huge so moving state isn’t like an hour away,some are literally 19 hours away by car, but I’m just eh?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m super exccited about what I’m going to learn. I’m just not on sync with everyone else? Like my bro is super proud and bragging everywhere that I’m into that school (he studied there too) and my parents are like KAJSDLKAJGDA WELCOMING CEREMONY YAAAAAAY and as happy and excited and thrilled as I am about the classes, I’m just not...in the hype? lol it’d difficult to explain

Not to say that I think about school and I get tired. Walking there, going daily, it takes me out of my routine, which is good but it wears me out mentally. I don’t know, I just...I’m really exhausted mentally and thinking about school wears me out even more. So sadly no, the stressful stuff is just starting. I hope it won’t interfere too much with my fic writing and blogging because I love it :c I want the knowledge but tihngs like homework or exams are like ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

And another good thing besides it being a super renowned school so I’m eager to learn despite everything else is that as a student of that school I get free medical, psychological, and tooth-thing services, which I think I need a lot, all three of them lol Don’t worry I’m not feeling bad or anything, but I’m underweight, my teeth don’t hurt but gods know I haven’t been to the dentist in YEARS, and there’s some stuff I’d like to talk with a psychologist just to know I’m not dragging some weight I don’t even know exists.

I don’t know if I’m not excited about school itself, or if I’m just mentally exhausted which I try to justify with not being excited? Hasdanga ah man who knows. But thank you for asking!!! :3

And thankfully no, the heat isn’t so bad!! It was bad some days like mid spring or starting summer, I don’t know, like SUPER HOT, there wer nights I couldn’t even sleep, but thankfully summer has been really rainy and very cloudy. Not going to lie, it’s still more heat than I like because I love the cold so even the ‘normal’ heat tires me and I hate it, but overall it’s been rainy and chill

BUT ANYWAYS PERIDOT

Like always I’m SUPER HAPPY to get to be replying to you yet again!!!!!!! Thank you immensely for taking the time to write to me and for letting me know what’s up!

Sending you my WARMIEST FLOOFIEST SHNUGGLEZ and lots of magic, my friend!! Have a WONDERFUL night!!(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

#peridot-chrysolite #peridot #coonreplies

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deslabe · 2 years

Note

Hello Beth! Phantom Santa here I am glad to hear from you again but I am sorry to hear that you've been going through a few things recently I hope all will turn out well!

When I visited Scotland I was in a small place called Dumfries and stayed just outside there at Comlogon Castle which was gorgeous.

I think but I'm not 100% that I visited a bookstore that is near the English Scottish border in Whitehaven I shall have to look at a map again!

Thank you for giving me ideas about your favourite designs of this winter season! I shall keep them in mind!

Now, let us discuss Phantom of the Opera a little since that is what has brought us together— tell me a little more about your connection to it, what got you enjoying the story and are there parts that are your favourites, are there characters that inspire excitement in you, anything you wish to say!

thanks so much! unfortunately they are continuing to pile up as the holidays approach and trying to organize going home, but i think as soon as they’re over i’ll be back to semi-normal lol. hope you are having a lovely holiday season outside of the fandom as well!

ah ive heard of dumfries but haven’t been there yet! wowee the concept of staying AT a castle is surreal— that sounds amazing. the only one i’ve visited so far is edinburgh castle and it was so lovely :)

thank you for asking! lol i recently discovered that i have a calendar date in my phone set to mark the anniversary of the day i became obsessed with phantom. i almost didn’t (become obsessed, that is) because i watched the 2004 version first, but i was so unsatisfied that i watched ALW immediately after and that was the ticket. ALW is def my favorite, although leroux is very entertaining haha. lerik is batshit crazy and i’m here for it. the translation very likely plays a part in how unhinged the book is, but in general it’s just such a trip lmao. i guess my favorite part is the final lair scene for erik’s character development, and my favorite song is the point of no return.

hope you are doing well!

#thank you for the anon! :)#poto #poto secret santa #anon

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because-its-important · 6 years

Text

transitions & transformations

i. the rest of my batch at RC

I spent the first six weeks of my batch at Recurse Center in an out-and-out sprint. I learned Python, built and released projects, and wrote blog posts every week. I wasn’t sure where my limits were, but I was determined to find out - preferably by overshooting them, then adjusting after the fact.

A curious thing happened. I kept finding that I was more than capable of starting and finishing projects, especially when I had a firm mental image of the end goal. There were at least as many unexpected good-turns as there were setbacks, and I certainly didn’t come up against any inscrutable barriers. Mostly the challenge was in overcoming the distance between a thing that doesn’t exist and a thing that does, which I was able to sort out pretty handily through a consistent application of effort across time.

Who’d have thought?

A selfie taken on my birthday, which also happened in the last few months and was really great!

The second half of my batch was not so visibly productive - with the exception of The Question Game. The Question Game is a simple game designed to help groups of people get to know each other better IRL. I designed it with my friend Brittany a few years ago as an icebreaker when we found ourselves in a group of folks who knew us but didn’t really know each other. The game only really needs a method of generating random numbers for a small but arbitrary group size, but building it out as a toy webapp was a good excuse to get practice working with a JS-only stack. I learned React, got a lil more familiar with node, and even went as far as to attach an otherwise completely unnecessary PG database and Sequelize ORM. You can see the code for it here. Outside of this project, however, I didn’t publish any code. I didn’t publish any writing, either.

So I’d like to take a moment and shine a bit of light on the work that I did during the rest of my batch.

🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘

First, I made the decision to leave community.lawyer, the social impact startup I co-founded in 2016 following the Blue Ridge Labs Fellowship.

I’m happy to report that I left on the come up, which seems a rare and privileged thing for a founder to be able to say. Gaining traction in a hyper-specialized industry like legal tech takes a gargantuan amount of sustained forward momentum, and I departed just as we began to reap the fruits of our labor. In the last few months community.lawyer has reached final approval on partnerships a year in the making, won federal grants we’d submitted to in 2016, and every day our software is being used to help connect people who have legal needs with credible lawyers. Our first two partners were exactly the types of legal organizations at the heart of our mission: the Justice Entrepreneurs Project and the DC Reduced Fee Lawyer & Mediator Referral Service.1 Based in Chicago and Washington DC respectively, these orgs are specifically chartered to deliver quality services at rates that more Americans can afford. I am so proud. ⚖️

Second, I started my first ever job hunt as a software engineer. Wowee, this was scary! I knew that I had to prepare for interviewing, which meant a) getting my career change narrative straight, b) studying Data Structures & Algorithms 101, and c) learning how to perform my handle on both of these in a live, semi-adversarial environment.

At one point during my batch my laptop broke. I read through this wonderful illustrated book during the two days it was being fixed.

In order to direct my search I also had to craft a set of selection criteria of my own. Foremost: “What good will my work do for the world?”2 Additionally, “What degree of access will I have to supportive mentors?”

Getting started with interview prep was a challenge, at least partly because I had so many options for where to start. But I did get started! I read Cracking the Coding Interview, I did the free trial and weekly free problems on Interview Cake. I attended a few group mock interviews at Recurse Center and signed up for a 1-1 mock interview with an RC alum. Her name is Leah, and she’s amazing - the superbly friendly and encouraging Comp Sci TA I wish I’d had years ago. 💚Brittany also set up mock technical screens for me with her pals, Leaf and Ian. They were the vanguard against my outsized anxiety about programming for an audience and they each took the time to give me solid feedback.

Third, I extended my batch at Recurse Center by another 6 weeks. I had decided early on I wouldn’t extend (for no real reason) and stuck with this decision up until two days before my batch ending. A small group of folks - Lily, Connor, Alicja and I - went to NYX in Union Square to try out lipsticks. We played with different colors and finishes (satin! matte! shimmer!) for half an hour or so. There came a point when I looked up, glanced across the narrow makeup store at my beautiful friends’ beautiful faces and thought, “You know, you don’t have to leave yet, right? What’s the rush?” I’d already accomplished my primary goal, to forcibly rework my identity as an engineer, but it sure seemed that I could stand to reach for a second one. That night I decided to extend my batch, with the intention of sampling a more open method of self-directed learning, i.e. with a little more chill and a lot less panic. Specifically, I wanted to practice connecting meaningfully with my limited supply of social energy.

In my bonus six weeks, I: gave three talks (2 planned, 1 impromptu) under encouragement from Ayla and Lily, learned to juggle thanks to instruction from a fellow RCer, Edward, who also loaned me a book about learning, made it into weekly Feelings Check-in (read as: opt-in support group) fairly regularly, picked my first ever lock, saw a live-coding show and then later attended two live-coding workshops (one on TidalCycles, another on Super Collider), sat in a dark room and played howling wolf clips while Microsoft Sam read grimoires aloud, got my hair braided for the first time in a decade, made dumplings and DJ’d for a dinner party, connected with folks about queer-poly relationships, gave fiery advice, and received compliments so earnest and rational and persistent that it was difficult to refute them.

Zine fair plus Lightning Bolt concert inside a movie theater in Times Square??

I also put my interview prep to use and interviewed with a handful of Recurse Center partner companies. Job searching meant squaring off against impostor syndrome and a ton of related anxieties in rapid succession. I successfully choked most of that down when it mattered, though, and it was only a couple short weeks before I received my first offer.

To that end, I’m super happy to say that I’ll be joining Blink Health as a Fullstack Product Engineer! Blink Health is a healthcare startup in SoHo. They make it easier for people to afford prescription drugs, especially for those with limited insurance plans or none at all. These savings aren’t trivial either: an extra $50 can spare someone from choosing between groceries or medicine that week, and for some folks Blink saves many times that. I’ll be starting at the end of this month. ✌️🤓

The last two years have been a wild ride: participating in a social impact fellowship and accelerator, busting my product chops and learning web dev to get a public benefit company off the ground, then diving into four months of self-directed learning at Recurse Center. I’m really looking forward to having some externally imposed structure again. Real health insurance, too.

ii. some hard truths

I made a few radical life changes in 2016, like getting involved in activist spaces, dating more, biking everywhere, building strong friendships, going capital-B Boogying, programming full-time. As I carried those changes forward through 2017, I began to notice a lot of mental and emotional reconfiguration happening to me.

Did you know that along its way to becoming a butterfly, a caterpillar nearly completely liquifies inside its cocoon?

Psychological growth is confusing, full of false starts, and generally painful. You’ve got the static pain of stretching beyond your limits, the pleasure-pain of feeling an old knot finally release, the frustrating pain of stubbing your toe because some helpful asshole has been rearranging your psychic furniture when you weren’t looking. There’s the more dramatic knife-in-the-gut pain of realizing that just because you’re growing doesn’t mean the people closest to you are, and that now in certain cases what you previoulsy regarded as friendship actually looks a whole lot like run-of-the-mill exploitation or even emotional abuse, if you're being honest, and it's a realization that only hurts more because it’s so irredeemably cliche and boring. And despite all that pain you gotta go ahead and grow anyway, claw your way out of the relative comfort of ignorance. Transcendence may not be the only show in town but afaik it’s the one most worth watching.

Prior to attending Recurse Center I’d spent lots of time exploring my surroundings and cataloguing people and places worth coming back to. My view of myself did change (and positively!) as a consequence. But sooner or later, ya get tired of the taste of low-hanging fruit.

So, armed with the bookshelf of a philosophy grad and a burgeoning psychoanalytic vocabulary begging to be let off leash, I decided to use my time at RC to try confronting a few of my Hard To See truths in addition to becoming a better programmer.

Here’s what I’ve found so far.

Truth #1: People like me a lot. This causes me problems.

I’ve been metabolizing this one for some time. I remember having a conversation with Brittany in January of 2016. I don’t remember what social anxiety I’d been vocalizing, but I must have been worrying that someone “hated me.” Brittany cut me off, exasperated in the way that only a friend can be in the face of utter delusion: “No one hates you Nicole! You’re always worried that people don’t like you and it’s never true!”

I carried that admonishment with me through two years of voracious friendship-building. On the whole, seeing that people do in fact enjoy and seek out my company has curbed the most egregious overreaches of my social anxiety. But reckoning with my anxiety honestly has also meant acknowledging that my compulsive instinct to withdraw from social situations is also a protective (if suboptimal) response to a few very real dangers.

Most acutely: being friendly, generous, and intensely empathetic makes me a ready target for users. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt for as long as I can, which makes me proportionally susceptible to being taken advantage of and then gaslighted about it. A lifetime of socialization as a petite woman don’t help, neither. This leads to a pattern where, semi-regularly, I look up and take stock of how someone has been treating me and realize that the answer is Very Badly, For Quite A While. This in turn leads to rough periods of cutting ties and moving on. Ideally I’d like to be be able to filter bad actors out sooner, but I also want to stay open, giving, and hopeful beyond reason. Those desires are fundamentally at odds with each other - raising vs. lowering one’s defenses - but it’s clear that I need to come up with a strategy that balances both.

More broadly, though, I operate under an ever-present dread of inevitably disappointing everyone who knows me. Whether people project onto me because they already like me or like me more because they project positively onto me, I am extremely sensitive to the fact that when people meet me the conception they form has waaay more to do with what they want to find than what’s actually there. My body is a surface readily projected upon: young, female-shaped, ethnically ambiguous, small, smiling. These well-intended projections cause me the most trouble when people see me interacting socially; they’ll witness fifteen minutes of seemingly effortless extroversion on my part and extrapolate out massively. As far as they’re concerned I’ve got plenty of social energy to spare, and if I don’t spend it hanging out with them, it must be because either my friendliness is fake or I don’t like them.

Pretty much none of this is conducted consciously, of course, but it still creates a lot of unnecessary pressure that I can’t pretend not to feel and resent. I know there are people who dream about attaining this kind of “popularity” - to be assumed Cooler than one truly is - but getting buffeted around by folks’ totally unexamined, unarticulated psychological desires mostly sucks.

Truth #2: I’m non-binary.

I’ve also spent a very long time resisting this one. Two decades on the rack, easy. As such, the story of getting here is long. Perhaps one day I’ll tell it. 😛

The short of it, though, is this: I’m probably at least as much of a boy3 as I am a girl. Outside of where my life has been mutated by the chronic background radiation of sexism, “benevolent” and otherwise, I don’t strongly identify as a woman. Furthermore, I find the two-gender system to be infinitely more alienating than comforting. Gender is a social construction designed to impose order on the natural messiness of sexual experience, and as far as I’m cool with that, I am decidedly Not Cool with the “normal” state of affairs, i.e. aggressively shoving whole human beings into an absurdly reductive false dichotomy.

Between its either-or-ism and its forced assignment, the traditional approach to gender reveals itself to be obviously bullshit to anyone who spends more than a few minutes thinking about it. Its boundaries are arbitrary, inconsistent, and generally ill-fitting at the level of individual experience, which why they require such an outrageous amount of coercion and bodily violence to enforce. As much as other folks want to participate in a system of ritualized violence I guess they are free to? Personally, I’d prefer to see it actively dismantled.

If gender is to be saved it’ll be by subverting it, taking it apart, remaking it into something life-affirming. Not the dehumanizing garbage we’ve got now.

As of yet I don’t have any plans to change my presentation because I don’t fuckin’ gotta!

I do have a preference towards They / Them pronouns, but She / Her is still fine. For most of my friends this isn’t going to be at all surprising nor will it in any way negatively impact our relationship. Anyone who needs me to just-be-a-girl, however, can expect turbulence.

Truth #3: My righteous anger is justified and I am good at using it to help others.

I have felt conflicted about my anger for a long time. Since a very vocal childhood I have been regularly frustrated by prejudices and injustices, and I was frequently the first voice of dissent against them, whether that meant challenging adults or my peers. Unsurprisingly, I became well acquainted with the standard strokes of the backlash.

When you are confronting bigotry in a mixed environment, the voice of the status quo will generally manifest in one of two ways:

Gaslighting, e.g. “you are wrong to have said this at all, obviously I am a Good Person, you are just imagining that what I said sounded like XYZ, honestly how could you even think this, as a matter of fact it is I who is offended!”

Tone policing, e.g. “you’re too upset about this! after all, I, the person who did Fucked Up Thing, am perfectly calm about Fucked Up Thing, so any amount of anger makes you irrational by contrast, and I get a raincheck on whatever this is about!”

I know these responses are repulsive. I know they are merely the signs of a weak and imperiled ego acting out of fear. And yet I still spend an inordinate amount of time second-guessing my own anger. Gaslighting and tone policing are a favored weapon of the status quo because they work, and they work in direct proportion to how agreeable their target wants to be.

content warning: the following segment talks about sexual harassment and assault

About couple weeks ago I had the misfortune of being sexually harassed at a club in Bushwick. After numerous rejections and explicitly telling a creep bothering me, my friends, and other women in the club to get lost, I finally went to get a bouncer to eject him. The bouncer got the creep to leave. When I went to thank him, the bouncer told me a whole story about how the creep was “a harmless guy.” Then he reached down and grabbed my ass. Presumably he felt entitled to do this after helping me get rid of a person I asked him to remove... for unwanted touching.

It Really Sucked.

At every turn during the whole ordeal (and its aftermath) I had to hold onto my anger, convince myself that I wasn’t overreacting, remind myself that anyone who thought this was acceptable to do to me is almost certainly doing worse to more vulnerable people. I kept picturing myself the way this guy, this man in a position of power, must have seen me in order to feel okay doing what he did. That I was young, small, female, too friendly to say No, already indebted anyway; that he was one of the Good Guys, that his behavior was also “harmless” because he had decided it was. I conjured up as much anger as I could, pushed down the nausea of envisioning my own degradation from an attacker’s POV, and got to work. I reached out to the club and was quickly put in contact with the owner. The venue now has a publicly posted zero tolerance sexual harassment policy. The entire staff is going through training with a local org dedicated to creating safer nightlife spaces. And that motherfucker has been fired.

I demonstrably made the world better. I wasn’t alone, but all that happened because of my actions. Me and my anger, we did that.

I wish more people were this fucking angry. 💢

~ end of content warning ~

iii. an opinion

My Saturn return is upon me, y’all. As Frank Ocean serenades, we’ll never be those kids again. I have lived a few of these here nine lives and it seems only prudent to be moving forward with some sort of opinion on the matter.

My opinion is this: us folks with financial and physical security should be spending more time fixing shit around here. Figuring out what needs fixing and how you might help are the first steps.

If you’re operating on a similar scale of privilege as I am, maybe that means changing jobs to do more mission-oriented work. If you can’t swing a change of that magnitude, maybe it means showing up to community events and engaging with, caring for, supporting people you otherwise wouldn’t talk to. Churches, libraries, volunteering, supporting local artists, participating in local politics - this all counts. If you’re already doing this sorta thing, that is awesome! Maybe you also have a friend worth inviting who you sense is just itching for a chance to exercise compassion?

I’m using “fixing” pretty loosely here, too. Fixing, to my mind, means making the world brighter, safer, and sweeter for your fellows, human and otherwise. We’ve all got different ideas about what that looks like, and there are definitely folks - myopic or malevolent or both - who will swear up and down that their fear- and hate-driven behaviors will bring about better world. Ultimately, though, I believe that many hands reaching towards their personal vision of Better will in fact make things Better, especially when that vision is informed by meaningful interaction with the real world and its real sorrows and its real triumphs.

But ya gotta reach. Ya gotta try.

I am so tired of hearing my well-fed, well-homed friends piss and moan about late capitalism4 without lifting a damn finger in service of the communities bearing the brunt of material hardship. Unfettered capitalism sure does have a marked tendency to wreak havoc on organic life! But capitalism is not a monolith, and lamenting the abuses perpetuated by its principle benefactors as unchanging or inevitable only normalizes them. Any investigation into the history of capitalism (or the broader phenomena of how a Few come to subjugate the Many) will very quickly disabuse you of the notion that this shit is going to stop without a great deal of active resistance.5

So unless you are personally doing work to put our current strand of democracy-withering corporatism six-feet-under, seriously, just STFU instead. Your nihilism is boring! You don’t sound woke! Save it for your local DSA working group!

Which isn’t to say that I’m not convinced of the wickedness6 of the problems we’re facing: skyrocketing wealth disparity with no relief in sight; the destruction of most of Earth’s biodiversity via mass extinction; a pernicious climate of racism and xenophobia that scapegoats black and brown folks and then visits misery upon them; the weight of an aging population bearing down on the shittiest healthcare system of any nation in its class; a widely disenfranchised electorate further fragmented and fatigued by hyper-polarization; the gendered terrorism that is inflicted daily on women, trans and non-binary folks, and queer people at large; a rising wave of depressive anxiety as people become more aware of these problems and how thoroughly they’ve been disempowered from changing things for the better.

So yeah, I get it. These are hard problems. I just don’t see any better option than trying anyway. I want to spend my time fixing things around here and encouraging others to try their hand too. You already know the bad news: real change is hard and it can take a very long time. You might work your whole life sowing seeds whose fruit you never get to taste.

The good news, however, is that you can get started whenever and wherever you are. The good news is that a sense of purpose is its own reward.

iv. how to get started

When you’ve got hard work ahead of you, your best bet is to use your beautiful human brain and create some leverage. Ask Archimedes about it.7

Lever systems got two parts:

The lever, which is the tool you use to amplify your effort. The longer your lever is, the easier your job will be.

The fulcrum, which is the wedge the lever rests on. The nearer your fulcrum is to the thing you want to move, the easier your job will be.

If you’re starting from zero - “I want to do more for the world but I don’t know how!” - my advice is to forget about the lever arm for now. A lever ain’t shit without a fulcrum, anyway. Your time is better spent exploring the world, keeping an eye out for problems you’d like to solve, and identifying nearby points of leverage. If you want to get into activism, a fulcrum might be volunteering to fold pamphlets for an organization with a mission you believe in. If want to see more self-expression in the world, it might be might be inviting your friends to a zine-making class or hosting your own arts and craft night.

The best fulcrum is one that makes you Feel Good when you apply any amount of effort against it. Too many people get caught up in a self-defeating belief that if they can’t give 110% of their creative energy to something they might as well not try. I can confidently say that trying is itself a virtue. Every time you try even a little bit you make it easier for yourself to try again later, and more importantly, you make trying easier for others. A bunch of people altering their behavior a smidge in the same direction doesn’t add up to nothing; on the contrary, it’s a sea change.

If you’ve got a decent idea of the types of problems you want to solve, though, and you’ve tested your fulcrums, and you are thinking, “Okay, but is this all I’m capable of giving?” then it’s probably time to work on your lever. Given your own interests and inclinations, what skills can you develop that will increase the good you’re doing 10x, 100x over? This is the long game, but it scales a whole lot better than “keep doing what I’m already doing, but more.”

For me right now this means deepening my technical knowledge, building a resilient support network, and sharing what I’m learning. Helping others has been a powerful motivator for self-improvement, not the least of which because it’s a convenient shortcut through the snarl of self-confidence issues.

I am so grateful that Recurse Center was a stop on lengthening my lever! What a concentrated cluster of helpful, considerate beings.

I’ve spent the last two years wandering around New York City in wide-eyed wonder, asking myself the most ambitious question I could think of: how do you save the world?

Getting older comes with a lot of downsides, but asking yourself big questions and living your life as the answer is the primary pleasure of adulthood. It took a ton of courage to get started and I am still frequently awed to find myself moving in the right direction. I’m humbled by the grace and fortitude of the folks who’ve been at this for way longer.

I’m also a hell of a lot happier. This summer’s gonna be rad. ☀️

There are lots of extraordinarily sexy company names like this in the legal world. ↩︎

Having the choice to direct my energies in this way is a privilege. Working in tech gives me this freedom of motion and I have been drawn to software engineering in part because it is the freest of the free (if you still gotta labor for your living). ↩︎

😱😫😖😬😬😬... 😏 ↩︎

Substitute with whatever modifier is en vogue. As a point of fact, “late capitalism” is a term that’s been floating around for literally over a hundred years. ↩︎

Thankfully, history also clearly demonstrates that the tide can be turned. ↩︎

“The use of the term ‘wicked’ here has come to denote resistance to resolution.” Wikipedia page. ↩︎

“Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move the world,” etc etc. ↩︎

#recurse center

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thedivinefish · 4 years

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TGIWednesday ... and igniting and inspiring your creative energy!

TGIWednesday News

Just coming off another full moon and weird times for sure can make us clam up and lie down! I am seeing you as being more creative! During this time of uncertainty, it seems as if we all feel a little shut down, and overwhelmed. I call it extra crispy, or fried! Please know that this does not have to be the case! Today I am seeing you doing something different even if it’s a walk in a different direction, making a homemade pizza or listening to a new genre of music! I really feel like we all need to switch it up a bit and rekindle our creative flow and attributes. You know that you have it deep down, or you would not be reading the likes of this! Along that same line of thought....we have released our new Audio MP3 The Creative. This audio is playable on any phone, tablet or desktop device and is for actors, authors, musicians, artists, healers/empaths. Any one or all of these resonate with you? Of course. Join in on the fun and reinvigorate inspiration and the spice of life!

This one is about you receiving divine guidance and support for your creative endeavors and it's also ideal to get people unstuck releasing brain fog and getting their creative juices flowing again. Click over to the sales page to read more.

MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark Great for artists, healers/empaths, musicians, writers, performers, actors etc…

Get 30 minutes and over 130 clearings! Price goes up to $57 after August 14th DOWNLOAD NOW JUST $44 *We encourage you to share this with your immediate family and immediate friends. I have no problem with it I want you to share and to benefit.

Get It Here

Read these great testimonials coming in from new listeners: "This is so brilliant! Thanks Jimmy!!" - Amy "Wowee zowee!! Just listened for the first time to the new mp3 Your Creative Spark and it is incredible! Only time will show how powerful this will be but already I can feel a big shift from being very stuck,stunted brain fogged etc etc to cool calm and clear. And even hopeful that the creative spirit is not dead yet ha ha. After months of lockdown in a care situation with elderly folk and being pretty much removed from all spacious and creative thinking :))) this comes as a breath of fresh air, or should I say Spirit Air! I am so looking forward to playing this over and over again! Thank you so much we are indeed very lucky to have you in our universe! You blessed us with a safe and calm pandemic experience with the Transcending Covid audio and now this!! Thank so much. May you continue to create in a wonderful way!" - R. Sayer

....PS. "It is indeed very powerful and seems to go through those underlying deep belief patterns that I dont even know are there. Thanks again really appreciate all the time and energy you give everyone constantly." "Please tell Jimmy that the "creative" shift that happened for me after just one listening is to "create" a life I love. I was blocked on creating "life." Yeah for the healing shift!" - Eileen

TGIWednesday Download

~ BEING MORE CREATIVE ~ I believe, think, know and feel that it is safe and comfortable to be more creative. I am ready, willing and able to bask in my creative endeavors and to create. I know, when, where how and why on any and all levels to tap into that creative universal flow. I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is!

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

AUGUST 5th "Today I will accept the unusual. I will expect more life and living and for the blessings of spirit to chase me down. I will be open and receptive to today in the here and now and know beyond all knowing the change is here, now."

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TODAY August 5th - 4pm ET - Spiritual Insights with host Charlotte Spicer Listen Here Online - Taking LIVE callers for readings and messages ☎️ (347) 934-0751

Thursday Sept. 23rd - The Global Gathering with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism. Join Us and Watch Online!

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT Watch and Participate (via Comments) during the Live TV Show streamed on Goldylocks Productions YouTube Channel, Facebook Page and Periscope. NOTE: You will need to log into your YouTube (Google) or Facebook accounts to comment. If you watch the Live show from any other location other than the 3 listed below, your comments will not be seen by the Show Host or Producer. https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow Or watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Instructions for the VIEWERS: 1. One reading/message per person. The first question posted will be answered, so please think about your question carefully before posting it. 2. If you want a longer and more detailed message, please book an appointment with the Show Host. 3. Spirit does come through and gives messages that can apply to many, not just the person asking the question. 4. It is not required nor should be expected that every question or comment will be addressed by the Show Host. 5. If you have any issues with the show host or show format, please contact the Show Producer... not the Show Host. 6. Contact the Show Producer, Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman via email: [email protected]

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Psychic Joanne Leo | https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ Watch the replay here!

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR AUGUST

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf. Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day!

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online. 3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with you immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality

TGIFunny

Forward

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session Transformational Healing of Body, Mind & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations! Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads and books to improve your life! Get Certified in My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for Supplements http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved

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divinefishingtips · 4 years

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TGIWednesday ... and igniting and inspiring your creative energy!

TGIWednesday News

MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark Great for artists, healers/empaths, musicians, writers, performers, actors etc…

Get It Here

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TODAY August 5th - 4pm ET - Spiritual Insights with host Charlotte Spicer Listen Here Online - Taking LIVE callers for readings and messages ☎️ (347) 934-0751

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Psychic Joanne Leo | https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ Watch the replay here!

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR AUGUST

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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365dailyaffirmations · 4 years

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TGIWednesday ... and igniting and inspiring your creative energy!

TGIWednesday News

MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark Great for artists, healers/empaths, musicians, writers, performers, actors etc…

Get It Here

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TODAY August 5th - 4pm ET - Spiritual Insights with host Charlotte Spicer Listen Here Online - Taking LIVE callers for readings and messages ☎️ (347) 934-0751

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Psychic Joanne Leo | https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ Watch the replay here!

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR AUGUST

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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advancedthetapractitioner · 4 years

Text

TGIWednesday ... and igniting and inspiring your creative energy!

TGIWednesday News

MyBeliefWorks™ for Inspiring and Igniting Your Creative Spark Great for artists, healers/empaths, musicians, writers, performers, actors etc…

Get It Here

TGIWednesday Download

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell The Fish: 365 Daily Inspirations & Affirmations

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

TODAY August 5th - 4pm ET - Spiritual Insights with host Charlotte Spicer Listen Here Online - Taking LIVE callers for readings and messages ☎️ (347) 934-0751

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

Yesterday's Show - Special Guest Psychic Joanne Leo | https://psychicjoanneleo.com/ Watch the replay here!

UPCOMING GUESTS FOR AUGUST

August 11th – Kevin Lee | Certified Spiritual Medium http://revkevinlee.com/about-kevin/

August 18th– Jeremy Riden | Divine Spark Ministries https://www.facebook.com/JeremyRiden/

August 25th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Tampa Office Sessions

FRIDAY AUGUST 14th at

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions from 10-4 on Friday August 14th.

NEW OFFICE LOCATION! 403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

LEARN MORE HERE

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library.

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com

Stay connected!

Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

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frankierising-blog · 7 years

Text

Lair Review for Cov

@cov-rising I’m sorry, I had to cut this one short because it is somehow now 6:30am and I need to start wrapping up to finish my shift!!

First Impressions:

Okay, wow. From your front page I thought I was going to be blasted to death by pinks and cuteness, but this is actually a pretty cool, relatively varied lair!! I like it!

Honey

Is this your Progen!? If it’s not, I basically hate you. Honey is GORGEOUS!! HOT DIGGETTY DAMN! Al those golds and yellows, absolute perfection!!I love the subtle greens in Sylvan Apparel and the Peace Dove! It blends in really nicely! And of course, matches the sprite perfectly!

I like that you’ve managed to keep the bulk of it within the yellow/gold range without making it look tacky or cluttered! Very, very well done! The accent compliments it all perfectly! LOVE IT!!!

Neria

Stop, STOP! What a perfect Mate for Honey! This is fantastic! The oranges and the golds with the contrast of the Midnight! The Candles match the midnight perfectly, I love it! I do feel like this one is not quite as perfectly balanced as Honey, but that kind of makes sense! If they’re both perfect then it would probably look more like twins!

Do you have any character or lore for these? Are they actually a pair or am I making incorrect assumptions? Also, the Reaper kind of makes it look like Neria is the more sinister of the pair, or maybe has a darker history, is this a correct impression?

Lucian

Lucian, stop. No. This is freaking amazing! The colours, the Iri/Shim/Thyla that actually WORKS! I don’t know if I’ve seen that before! That accent is freaking PERFECT! I feel like the Golden Wing Silks doesn’t match quite as perfectly as I’d like, but there’s definitely nothing wrong with it! I wonder what he’d look like with the matching Ember dress and then more exposed wings? IDK my lair is a freaking mess so wtf do I know?

Love the Mith familiar with him, too! The purples in it are dang spot on! And so much gorgeous art! LOOOOVE!!!! But gurl, even if you don’t write lore yourself – if you can spend that much commissioning art, COMISSION SOME DANG LORE – IT’S KILLING ME NOT KNOWING WHAT HE’S ABOUT! Get on that. My interest is now your No.1 priority, KTHXBAI

Atlas

“Atlas is a smart philosopher man with a beard and a bird” THAT IS THE BEST SENTENCE I HAVE EVER READ ON THIS DAMN SITE! 10/10 WOULD READ AGAIN!

Atlas looks PERFECT! He’s like this well-read, learned old kook who’s always got his nose in some book, tome or scroll. The Ethereal Ribbons really look like he’s gotten himself tangled up in some long, ancient scroll he was reading and just couldn’t be bothered untangling himself.

I get the impression he doesn’t even realise there’s a cat on his head, he’s just busy thinking about where he left that book he’d borrowed from some ancient library or temple that he seems to have misplaced.

But gurl, he is a philosopher with a beard, why is he covered in flower petals? Wouldn’t that piss him off? OR IS THAT PESKY BIRD GIVING HIM HELL!? IS THAT HOW HE GOT TANGLED IN THE SCROLL!?

Tea

Tea seems like she’d be the head of the clan…. But she’s not at the front – I always just assume that’s where the head goes.

So I have decided that Tea is not the leader, but is extremely up herself. Flaunting her golden spoils. Just look at the snobby way she’s got her head turned to get more light on her face, and that self-important smile.

JOKES ON YOU, TEA, THAT BIRD LOOKS LIKE IT’S ABOUT TO NEST IN YOUR PRECIOUS CROWN!! HA!

But seriously, I really love how nice and subtle this is. Tea has this almost oxymoronic shimmery, pastel look about her, I really dig it!

Essence

Um, excuse me, I’m pretty sure someone vomited pretty things on a gorgeous GenOne. IT’S A DOUBLE BLUSH, WHY IS IT COVERED IN LEAVES!!!

Okay, but seriously, I LOVE the colours, and Daisy Flowerfall, Crown and Peace Dove look absolutely FANTASTIC but I just wonder if the golds are a little too light against the Blush. Or is that something that changes once the gene-ing is finished?

Also, I just learned that a Pink-Tail Mole exists so thank you for that! It also looks fantastic with Essence’s colours! :)

Blossom

Why stop at 2 Flowerfalls? Why not get the Violet one going? While you’re at it – chuck some snowflakes and fire in there too! Screw it, grab those Festival Butterflies! Let’s just go all in here!

But seriously, dayum, you’re fond of the Flowerfalls, haha!

I actually really love Blossom! Especially the greens to compliment the Blush. 33KG HOLY FREAKING CRAP OKAY PUT ALL THE FLOWERFALLS, PUT EVERYTHING ON THIS OH MY GOD. JUST SELL EVERY OTHER DRAGON AND GIVE THIS EVERYTHING BECAUSE WOWEE THAT’S AN EXPENSIVE BABBY!

Were the Witch’s Cobwebs supposed to look like Moss? I hope so because that’s exactly what I see! Birds and moss and flowers floating in the breeze, little white butterflies resting on his limbs. Freaking gorgeous!

I don’t like the tail rings but I think that has more to do with the fact that I don’t like them in general! YOU MATCHED THE SPEEDY WITH HIM SO WELL! I LOVE THIS!!!

Bloom

Holy freaking cow. That is a lot of pretty things on one pretty, pretty Wildclaw! The Sylvan Wings and the Alchemist Tools work SO WELL together, holy crap! They compliment the Pistachio and the Spined Cobra SO MUCH!!!

I love the way the accent looks on the legs! I just wish there was some way to break up the green on the tail a bit? IDK

But uhm… I don’t mean to alarm you, but I think a tacky feather boa has somehow connected itself to this gorgeous masterpiece’s tail? :P

Honeysuckle

Okay, I actually really like the River Royalist Tail Rings on this one! Maybe I’m just extremely picky!! Honeysuckle looks absolutely fantastic!! Look how nicely the green highlights in butterfly work with the green in Spring’s Breath! The only thing that will forever shit me about Springs Breath is that green petal right on his thigh. WHY THIS, SPRING’S BREATH!?

I’m REALLY impressed by your Familiar matching skills, too, you got the yellows, golds and greens spot on! Also, your GenOnes in general are… decadent *Drools*

Dahlia

A dragon representations of the Tumblr Aesthetic

Allium

The Tumblr Aesthetic going through it’s SLIGHTLY edgy animal print phase

Hydrangea

Okay, so I like to make fun of girly things that I secretly love and that whole row are absolutely STUNNING but Hydrangea takes the damn cake!!! For one – way to nail Piebald! I haven’t seen Piebald properly utilized in a fairly long time so it’s really impressive how much you’ve nailed it! PLUS the wings of the fairies make it look like you’ve got Thylacine-like markings that actually spill into the secondary field and the tie the Skys in nicely! This is absolutely amazing!! I really love the tiny bits of gold from the Sky Blue Silks and the very discrete Clawtips! I didn’t even notice those till just now, THIS IS ACTUALLY PERFECTION, HOLY CRAP!!!!!!

Amity

Yet again, you’ve managed to match your familiar PERFECTLY! Amity is STUNNNNNNIIIINNNNNGGGG!!! What are your plans for the primary? I kind of hope you ditch the sylvan on it’s neck and chuck in another Piebald HINT HINT!!! But again, customisation is lovely AND I SEE YOU’RE BRANCHING OUT A LITTLE WITH YOUR DUAL FLOWERFALLS NOW!

I really love how discretely complimentary the Cobwebs are, and what a surprise it is when you finally notice the Tail Jewel, so many hidden little treasures here! I love it!

Laurel

Get out. You have no business here anymore. I’ma need you to just pack your things and exit this site, this is too much. You have too many amazing gems in here (that I’m sure you worked extremely hard for, but I’m still going to be ridiculously jealous!)

How GREAT does Oilslick look with the cream!? It’s perfect! Like, if the Tert was much darker than that, it might have come off a little too Pastel Goth and then seemed forced with the Antique Lace, but Oilslick Glimmer comes out just brown enough and with just enough highlight to perfectly compliment the antique and cream! LOOOOVE IT!

And once again you’ve matched the familiar freaking perfectly, even the Accent creates the ultimate perfect match!

Laurel is gorgeous to the point that I feel like you could make a real life porceline statue and people would display it in there homes or gardens loll.

OH AND YES, I SEE YOU SNEAKY ICE EYES BRINGING ALL THE BLUES IN.

You are a freaking ARTIST with these customisations, dayum!

#flightrisinglairreviews #Fight rising lair reviews #fr lair reviews #1424 words :O

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