#y’know when i started this show i thought i’d have a lot more meta-y things to say | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamybandee · 4 years

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Rules: Don’t reblog, repost. Reply as muse talking. Tagging: Ahhhh anyone who hasn’t done it and wants to do it! Tagged by: @sternenteile! Thamk you Nikki. Sending big love ;v;

► NAME ➭ “Hello there! I’’m Dee! Bandana Dee! I’m uh...I’m sure you can guess why I’m called that. I can’t wait to answer these questions!” ► ARE YOU SINGLE? ➭ “Yes! I’m a single waddle dee among MANY Waddle Dees! There’s so many of us! You can ask Waddle Doo at the castle! He even says there’s a lot of the-...OH. Oh that’s not what you meant...But I guess I’m single in that way too! So yes again!” ► ARE YOU HAPPY? ➭ "Oh yes! Very! Thank you!” ► ARE YOU ANGRY? ➭ "Wha? Oh no. Not at all! I’m happy, after all! Wait...can you be happy AND angry? Is that possible? Oh man, I dunno!” ► ARE YOUR PARENTS STILL MARRIED? ➭ "Oh, well I...I don’t know...I don’t even know...my parents. I haven’t for a long time...Well, if they’re out there, I...I hope they’re happy. Having a good life...in a good spot...I wonder...Ohh. I’m sorry. Please continue!”

⚡️ NINE FACTS! ► ‘BIRTH’ PLACE ➭ “Dream Land! Just like every other waddle dee! I mean, I think. I don’t remember anything about it, but I’m pretty sure it was Dream Land I was born in. I just...I just don’t know where in Dream Land. I’ve been at Castle Dedede for so so long now? ...Wait, do you think I was born there?” ► HAIR COLOR ➭ "No hair here! But my bandana is blue! And I’m not taking it off to show you my head. Sorry!” ► EYE COLOR ➭ “Brown! Like um...Like chocolate! Milk chocolate! I love chocolate. Oh it’s so sweet...Oh! That wasn’t part of the question...Whoops.” ► BIRTHDAY ➭ “Oooh, uhm...I’m not...entirely sure? I don’t know when my actual birthday was. His highness told me he didn’t really know either...But November 7th is kind of a special day! That’s when I joined the army! I guess THAT could be considered a birthday, right?” ► MOOD ➭ “I’m feeling pretty good and pretty happy! Starting off the day on a good note!” ► GENDER ➭ “I don’t really do that! Sorry!” ► SUMMER OR WINTER ➭ “Summer! Oh yes! Perfect for walks, picnics, and picking apples! I love being outside in the warm sun!’ ► MORNING OR AFTERNOON ➭ “I have to go with afternoon! I feel so tired in the morning and mornings are really early for me too.”

⚡️ EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE! ► ARE YOU IN LOVE? ➭ "Always! I love the friends I have and the friends I’m going to meet! They mean a lot to me!...Oh wait...That’s not what you meant, was it? Well, no. I don’t think so anyways.” ► DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT? ➭ “I, well....I dunno! I think you should get to know people at least a little bit before you love them! It’s like an apple! I could look really clean, red, and delicious on the outside, but you gotta check if it’s rotting or has critters on the inside!” ► WHO ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP? ➭ “Huh? You mean...someone didn’t want to be my friend anymore? Well, I don’t know who’s done that, but that’s up to them and...not me.... If they don’t wanna be my friend then that’s sniff th-that’s o-okay and sniffle sniff th-that’s their decision...” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART? ➭ “Oooh, oh I sure hope not! I really don’t want to hurt anyone or their feelings!” ► ARE YOU AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS? ➭ “Yes! Well, I mean- no? Yes and no? I don’t want to break anyone’s promises or let them down! Making people happy doing those things? It feels...it feels really good. Makes me really happy too! But some things are really hard to do! I’d never tell people that, of course...I’d hate to trouble them or make them feel bad...So....Yes and no I guess!” ► HAVE YOU HUGGED SOMEONE WITHIN THE LAST WEEK? ➭ “Yes! I’m always there for hugs when people need them! I like them. They’re warm and friendly...” ► HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SECRET ADMIRER? ➭ “Well k-kind of?? I get an awful lot of nice notes from fellow waddle dees and other people telling me that I’m a good rep for them! Even a role model! I don’t even know where some of these notes come from, but I’ll do my best for all the great people who sent them!” ► HAVE YOU EVER BROKEN YOUR OWN HEART? ➭ "You...You can do that? I didn’t really know...M-maybe I did? Ooooh, I have no idea. This isn’t....isn’t really fun to think about. I’m sorry.”

⚡️SIX CHOICES! ► LOVE OR LUST ➭ "Love! I don’t really know about that last one.” ► LEMONADE OR ICED TEA ➭ "I’m thinking...Tea! I like tea both cold and hot! I love Lemonade too, but sometimes it can be soooo sour. It leaves a really weird feeling! But you know what is good? Lemonade in some Tea! It’s so sweet and good! You should give it a try! I can make some if you want!” ► A FEW BEST FRIENDS OR MANY REGULAR FRIENDS ➭ “I-well...I have both actually! Is that okay? I love all my friends very much! The waddle dees, the dream friends, other people in the castle, even some people I’ve met these last few years! But I’ve had more time with different people, y’know? Kirby, Meta Knight, his highness, people at the mansion, they’re all so amazing. I love my friends...” ► WILD NIGHT OUT OR ROMANTIC NIGHT IN ➭ "W-wild? What does ‘wild’ mean? I mean, I don’t think I’m romantic, so maybe the first one? This is so confusing!” ► DAY OR NIGHT ➭ "Oooh, I like both! Night is so pretty with the stars and the cool air! But it’s so dark! I like the warm sun and I like seeing. Both are great!”

⚡️ FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS! ► BEEN CAUGHT SNEAKING OUT ➭ “W-well...I....yeah. I guess...I guess the king caught me a couple of times. I really wanted to see how Kirby was doing and just get out of the castle a bit, y’know? But...work should ALWAYS come first, I guess. I’ll try and be a little smarter from now on...Oh, and please, don’t tell the king I said that! I-um...I don’t really know if I should have told you that...” ► FALLEN DOWN/UP THE STAIRS ➭ “Y-yeah, but stairs are so big and hard to step over! I hate walking on them when I’m holding stuff! I can’t see them! And I end up dropping everything all over the place? Ooooh, I don’t like stairs. I wish the castle wasn’t so high up! Then we wouldn’t have that many stairs!” ► WANTED SOMETHING/SOMEONE SO BADLY IT HURT? ➭ “Yes!! That cake Dedede had for the battle Tournament he made. Those fights were scary and they definitely hurt! But with Kirby’s help, we made it! It was worth it! The best cake I’ve EVER tasted!”

⚡️FIVE PREFERENCES! ► SMILE OR EYES ➭ “Smile! I’m so jealous. I can’t smile. I have no mouth. But seeing people’s smiles? It’s nice! I love seeing people happy! I love seeing that! I wish I could feel and show that for myself...” ► SHORTER OR TALLER ➭ “I like seeing people when talking to them! It feels weird to be looked down on. Soooo maybe shorter? I MEAN if other people were shorter! I myself would love to be taller! It’s so hard to reach everything! I hate asking for help too.” ► INTELLIGENCE OR ATTRACTION ➭ “You mean how smart? Or how nice looking they are? B-but...What about how kind they are? I mean- both are of those things are good, but I think being nice is even more important!” ► HOOK-UP OR RELATIONSHIP ➭ “...What’s a hook-up?”

⚡️ FAMILY! ► DO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY GET ALONG ➭ “W-well I um...I kinda told you I don’t have a blood family so...Oh! But what about the other waddle dees? I hang around them a lot! Yeah! Okay! We get along a lot! Sometimes anyways. Sometimes I have to fight against them though. I don’t really feel good about that...” ► WOULD YOU SAY YOU HAVE A “MESSED UP LIFE” ➭ “Messed up? Oh no! Not at all! I know life has it’s fair share of ups and downs, but that’s okay. I’m happy with it. I’ve learned so much and gotten so far. And most of all, I’ve met so many great people! I think I like my life the way it is.” ► HAVE YOU EVER RAN AWAY FROM HOME ➭ “Yeah! A couple of times, actually! Monsters and all sorts of bad guys have taken over Castle Dedede or even destroyed it before! I think the other dees and me were lucky we made it out okay!” ► HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN KICKED OUT ➭ “Once again, yes! Those people who take over the castle aren’t very nice! His Highness has even dismissed me a couple of times...but mostly when weird things are happening! Oh, please forgive me, your majesty! I didn’t mean to sound so rude!”

⚡️ FRIENDS! ► DO YOU SECRETLY HATE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ➭ “Wh-what? Oh no no! Not at all! I love my friends! I love Kirby, his Highness, Meta Knight, Sailor Dee, and oh! All the friends who helped in our recent adventure! Gooey! Adeleine! Ribbon! M-...Magolor...S-Susie... and M-Marx and...and...I-I mean...I know they’re not all perfect b-but...we’re friends now, right? H-hating them would make me....make me a bad friend...” ► DO YOU CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS GOOD FRIENDS ➭ “Y-yes! I...I guess? I mean, some of them were bad before, but they’re good now! I mean...I sure hope so...” ► WHO IS YOUR BEST FRIEND ➭ “All my friends! I love them all very much in their very own ways! Sailor Dee and I have known each other for all our lives...Kirby is so strong and cool, and I want to be just like him...And the king too! He’s such a great leader! And Meta Knight always has our backs! And-and....! Oh! S-sorry about that. I guess I kind of...Kind of got lost in my thoughts there. Uh-heh heh...” ► WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU ➭ “Well...I don’t know if there’s anyone out there that knows absolutely everything about me, really. There’s still so much I want to show people! And so much I want to learn and do! I don’t think I even know everything about myself yet. Can I be as strong as my friends? Where am I going to go in life? How can I be better and stronger? There are a lot of things I’m still trying to figure out I think...”

“Oh! That was it? Gosh. That felt so quick, answering all those questions. Thank you for doing this with me! Come and find me at the castle if you have any more, okay?”

#// Long Post #// I can finally get this out of my drafts now that it's finished! Yeeeee!#// This was so fun to do omg...#// This is super long so I'm not sure if I can slap in any cool formatting. Sorry! ;o;#{ Training Log | Headcanon }#{ The Legend of Dee | IC }#{ Minigame | Repost Meme }

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ngame989 · 5 years

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Starco Fic Recs

Disclaimer: This list is largely curated to my own personal preferences (minimal feelings angst, minimal AUs, character development >>> plot) and has a fairly high bar for quality in characterization, etc. There will likely be many popular/beloved fics that I really don’t think highly of at all and therefore don’t make the cut. Feel free to DM me things you think I should consider adding, but I make no promises.

And of course I’d be flattered if you gave my own works a chance - stop by my About Me section for links! Thus far I’m particularly proud of the post-canon series I just started in collaboration with an awesome team, The Greatest Gift.

(Updated 9/26 - I decided to redo the list since people might appreciate seeing it in the tags again. To anyone whose own work is featured here that I haven’t personally responded to - I’m a tough critic with a lot of strong personal preferences so PLEASE do not take my gripes as condemnations of your skills - if they make the list at all, I think they’re worth a read!)

See below for the very thorough list!

Bolded titles indicate must-read.

Italicized titles indicate work is incomplete (in the case of continuous stories).

Asterisks indicate new additions from last update (3 for brand new, 1 for status update).

I’ve VERY loosely organized the categories by personal priority order this time around, but read the descriptions and decide for yourself!

Must-Reads

Forevermore - A Starco wedding story (with a bit of Jantom as well). Simply one of the best fics I’ve read in the fandom. I have no meaningful criticism to give it, and that’s the highest praise I can possibly give something.

Monarchs of Mewni (+ Traditionally Lovingly Yours) - A series of chronologically disconnected oneshots set years after the show. The backstory is very dated given how long ago it started (Jarco was kinda serious for a few years, Tomstar v2 never happened, etc) but overall it’s lovely. Has a bit of plot, a bit of Jantom, a lot of other character interactions, and a boatload of Starco - plus a Starco kid who is a decently developed character but also doesn’t just take over and crowd out Star and Marco themselves! That alone deserves merit.

Ruined - Aftermath of a hypothetical return of Monster Arm. Angst with a happy ending (and one of the few angsty fics that gets my seal of approval), so read this extra early if that’s more your schtick than mine.

study buddies - Y’know what, fuck it, I’m putting this here. It’s a short ball of Starco fluff but it’s one of the sweetest and fluffiest fluffballs I’ve seen in a long time and it’s very emotionally immersive and y’all needa read it.

*When Two Worlds Collide - One of my favorite postcanon series thus far. I admit I’m really not big on “magic returns!” plots in postcanon (which this has), and the sections that focus on that are hit or miss for me, but overall it has some of the funnest and cutest characterization and gags I’ve seen in any SVTFOE fic, ever. Absolutely worth following (and it has a fair amount of art to go along with it!)

***Star Chef - Oneshot (two chapters, so twoshot technically?) set in the same universe as Starlight Justiciar (see below) and is just a day in the life of Star and Marco. Goes absolutely above and beyond at emotional immersion and little nuances and details to bring the world and characters to life, which elevates it to something special to me.

Light of the Sun and Stars - (Promoted to Must-Read!) One of the few heavily divergent AU fics I care for. Marco is an orphan raised by monsters, and meets Star after running away. Just finished its “first season” and I've loved the recent chapters, am very excited to see where it goes.

*Don’t You Let Me Go - Wonderfully fluffy post-Cleaved Starco, one of my favorite oneshot “epilogues”.

i want to tell you (but i don’t know how) - Post season 3 fic detailing the growth of Star and Marco’s relationship. It’s spectacular writing and shows off a lot of the true depth of Starco beyond just being cute.

Adult - NSFW warning, non-explicit (aged-up characters). It’s a story about the journey towards Star and Marco’s first step into adulthood together - it’s not graphic and way more focused on the emotions involved, but it still is definitely more explicit than your average FFnet rated-T fic. If sexual themes ain’t your thing, I totally respect that, but this is a charming and funny piece of writing.

Lawchan’s various oneshots - There isn’t a great compilation for them right now so the best I can do is give you her tag for it and you can comb through it yourself. I like some more than others here, but they’re all very well-written - my only gripes with some of them are my own tastes in subject matter, so have fun perusing this on your own.

I Will Always Be There For You - A really pure and wholesome Starco oneshot. Very well-written.

Post-Canon Series to Follow

I figured with the show being over, and so many people starting their own series, I should include a lot of them here even if I’m personally not the biggest fan just to help gather them up so people can decide for themselves. Little bit looser on judgment here.

*Life on Earthni A to Z - Non-chronological postcanon slice of life oneshots, Starco and some Globclipsa and Jantom. Overall really good so far, one of my favorites in terms of direction.

*When Dimensions Cleave (sequel - Unforgettable Getaway) - Another postcanon series hellbent on bringing back magic queen lore, but it has some solid Starco fluff still. Credit where it’s due, the “Star constantly freaking out over what a horrible person she was” bit that I called preachy in the prior rec post gets somewhat less preachy and does end up actually going somewhere as part of character development, but I’m left scratching my head at how they all act sometimes. The good parts are certainly good, though, and in terms of quantity of lovey dovey Starco, it really can’t be beat (especially the sequel) and that’s worth something by itself.

We’re a Miracle - Extra adorkable postcanon fluff. Lighter on the “but ACKSHUALLY MAGIC IS BACK” stuff compared to the others, but it’s there, like almost every postcanon fic in existence.

Star vs the Sands of Time - Heavy politic/lore postcanon fic, not my fav but if that’s more your thing then great. Has some casual Starco too.

Goodbye Isn’t Forever - More POV dives into Cleaved.

Fake Proposal - Some decent jokey but cute fluff

The Stars Above - Some exploration of Earthni

New World - A bit over-the-top meta, but fun fluff

The Starlight Justiciar - Four years after canon, some social change plot stuff and some decent Starco. Not the biggest fan of some of the plot stuff but check it out for yourself!

Starco vs the Forces of Evil - Another collab fic/art thing. Fair warning, I really am not personally a huge fan of a lot of the characterization and plot decisions here (see my notes on Sign of the Moon waaaay down below) but decide for yourself, don’t let my pickiness dictate your own preferences!

Ready For The Future - Technically a oneshot (with some Starco) but sets up some Mina plot, if you’re interested in more give it a follow/review.

Worlds Together - Some Starco and exploration of Earthni.

Epilogue - Some Starco and exploration of Earthni.

***A Dark Horse - Has a few really nice lovey dovey Starco bits but also lots of superdrama with politics stuff. There’s a lot of fics here that I honestly just windowshop the scene I like for a quick fix of dopamine every now and then and skim at most otherwise, and this is one.

Revolution - end of canon AU where Moon is as anti-monster as Mina, dark as fuck. Only putting it here cuz some of y’all angstlords might like it.

Shorter Works/Oneshot Collections

I’ll Carry Your World - Big ole’ ball of wonderful Starco fluff with an important moment between them (written before end of show so a bit divergent).

***LoveIsTheStrongestKindOfMagic - Very short and basic fluff.

Starco Week 5 (Hugs Included) - Some of it is postcanon Earthni oneshots and others are from the Light of the Sun and Stars AU (see above). Great author, fun as hell writing style.

Fragile - Star worries about keeping her boyfriend Marco safe.

Complete - An older Star reflects on her past and present. Short and sweet.

Knighthood - Simple fluff piece on if Star and Marco got together after Storm the Castle.

Too Hot to Move - Star and Marco try to survive a heat wave on Earthni. Also funny fluff.

Marco Make-out Mayhem - Star really likes kissing Marco. Funny fluff.

Cleaved Together - NSFW warning, non-explicit (aged up) - Star and Marco’s first time. Very very overly focused on the whole purity/sacredness of first time thing, but still pretty cute.

Like Us - Really nice, sweet casual reflection on her life with Marco from a future Star’s POV.Toothpaste Kisses - Short fluff about its title.

A Friend’s Memento - Starco fluff with some reflection on the results of destroying magic

Plum Pie - Some goofy antics and hurt/comfort.

Not Losing You - A little dive into Marco’s POV at the end of Cleaved. Also adds a kiss.

We Belong Together - More speculative slightly angsty comfort/fluff.

Enough - A nice study of the emotions and thoughts during the last scenes of Cleaved, adds some depth to it.

Heartless - A bit of angst over magic going away with some sweet Starco comfort.

Together - Post-Cleaved Starco megafluff.

My Prince - Starco fluff set in a world where they were together before Cornonation.

Dancing with a Star - Starco fluff from alt S4.

Love in the Time of Pancakes - Written hours after my last update of the list, another little ditty based on the pancake promo.

Pancakes - Fluffy S4-promo-based little oneshot.

Hers - Hurt/comfort/confession-y fic, has some really nice moments and shows off a lot of how much they care about each other. Nice to see after such a drought.

Someone to Stay - Another hurt/comfort fic, nice and simple.

A Viola, a Violin, and a Butterfly’s Sword - some nonlinear oneshots about Starco. Some kinda weird directions gone in with the “plot” but it’s pretty good overall.

Falling - One of many, many fics from throughout the fandom’s history about Star and Marco getting together. Short and sweet.

forget about white horses & once upon a time - Drabble collection of various moments scattered throughout Star and Marco’s lives. Cute fluff.

The One Where I Thought I Lost You - Post-BFM fic where Marco realizes his feelings for Star earlier. Very wholesome.

christmases when you were mine - Established relationship fluff.

lightning in your veins, thunder in your heart - Post-season 3 established relationship fluff (slightly divergent, written before 3B).

once upon a december - Established relationship fluff.

Flags - Alternate rendition of the episode “Flags” with Starco.

Spells and Hot Chocolate - Wintry fluff.

5 Ways to Say ‘I Love You’ - Post BFM with some events in Star and Marco’s lives.

You’re My Wish Come True - This is just indulgent Starco trash. I won’t even argue for the characterization/writing quality, this is just a straight-up guilty pleasure.

Wands and Nachos - ^

The Princess and the Safe Kid - ^

A Day in the Life of Starco - ^

A very Starco Xmas - ^

Could It Be -^

All the times Star wore Marco’s hoodie - ^

Protect Me, Squire - ^

Crushed - Star and Marco both get turned down by their respective crushes and find comfort in each other.

Stay - Cuddly fluff. There’s another Stay out there which I frankly can’t stand with will-they-won’t-they melodrama out the wazoo, so don’t get confused.

Longer Series

*The Inescapable Us - Really tropey miscommunication will-they-won’t-they type of thing. Not my fav, especially now that the show is over and finished that leg of Star and Marco’s story once and for all (I’m personally WAY less interested in things that redo something canon already did). However, where it’s at now has some really good Starco moments. Fully admitted that I hella skimmed most of it until the parts I enjoyed, but And if you’re more fine with that type of thing then you’ll probably really like it, it’s well-written otherwise.

Together We Fall - Throwback S2 AU fic where Star and Marco go to the dance together instead and Toffee makes moves earlier. Gets kinda dark but has a lot of nice Starco along the way.

Safer, Sorrier - A recent rewrite of an older fic, Better Safe Than Sorry, where Star has to leave early to become queen and Marco is alone for a few months before they reunite. A very dated premise (post season 1 ish) but quite good.

Sugar and Spice - NSFW warning, non-explicit (NOT aged-up characters). In this fic, Star and Marco have gotten together after BFM, and a spell gone wrong leads to Mewberty relapses with obvious consequences. This fic has adorable Starco moments, but what I love this for above all is the other character interactions (especially Glossaryck and Star’s parents). This is probably a controversial add-on to the list, but I stick by my decision - if the subject matter isn’t your thing, then by all means avoid it.

Beyond Dimensions - Plotfic + established Starco where some ancient sorceress has to trap Star to escape and try to take over Mewni. Maybe y'all are more into plot stuff than me but the Starco that’s there is quite good regardless.

Starfall - NSFW warning, explicit (aged-up characters). Probably the most popular one to make the cut. Star and Marco are forced apart and have to find their way back together. Very old fic, lot of dated stuff here, and the narration and plot itself can get kinda questionable sometimes, but it has a lot of good Starco and some interesting plot elements that make it, in my opinion, worth a read despite a lot of flaws. A few epilogue chapters contain rather explicit sexual content, so be wary of that (and the epilogue itself after Ep 6 kinda transitions into a nextgenverse, so maybe just skip that entirely).

The Star Butterfly Effect - The sole fic on the list that is purely plot-based, with very little actual Starco development whatsoever. I can’t even really explain it, just give it a shot and see what you think; I was rather engrossed by the plot, and that’s rare for me.

The Princess and her Knight, Return of the Empire The former fic in this series is way more character-based, while the latter is very heavy plot stuff. Pretty decent character writing with some fluff. There’s a third that I honestly can’t recommend because I completely dropped it because it was just a nonstop war story.

Experimental - REALLY heavy, dark AU where Star and Marco are tortured and corrupted. It’s pretty decent.

Blood Moon Blitz - Alt BFM fic of Marco going to fight Toffee with Star. unfortunately dropped without completing, but what’s there is pretty solid.

Read at Your Own Risk…

The Sign of the Moon, The Dance of the Stars - Starts post-3A, involves the growth of Star and Marco’s relationship as they take on foes in and out of the castle and learn more about the Blood Moon. This series is rather… melodramatic, and there were some chapters and character interactions I flat out did not enjoy reading. But some people aren’t as strict on character interpretations as I am and would love such a long plot-based Starco fic, so overall I still will at least list it and let you decide for yourself. There might be a third entry in this series now, but I dropped it before then.

Photos - I hesitate to include this one here because the “Tom is a perfect angel who must sacrifice his love for Star” thing pisses me off. But just skip all that (and ignore the random “a part of me will always love Tom” line) and it’s a really nice post-s3 confession fic.

#starco #svtfoe #star vs the forces of evil #fanfic #ngame

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queenlua · 4 years

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salty hugo nominee 2020 reviews: short stories

under a cut because long, etc

ranked roughly from “shit that made me the most annoyed” to “shit that made me the least annoyed”:

A Catalog of Storms by Fran Wilde

God did this ever not work for me. It must’ve worked for someone, I guess? To be nominated? But, what?

Look, the story was already on thin fucking ice when I was halfway through and I noticed the narrative wasn’t going much of anywhere. Then the storms started getting names like A Leaving and A Grieving and A Loss That’s Probably Your Fault and I rolled my eyes so far back into my skull that I had to wait a while for them to re-correct themselves so I could finish reading the damn thing. AN OVERWROUGHT AND NOT-EVEN-THAT-EVOCATIVE METAPHOR IS NOT A STORY, I want to nail on the office door of A Certain Subset Of Acquisitions Editors.

Ten Excerpts from an Annotated Bibliography on the Cannibal Women of Ratnabar Island by Nibedita Sen

Sigh.

Look, I know why everyone wants metafiction to be good. I’m a sucker for the meta and the contrary and the self-referential and the circuitous. In college I convinced some poor sucker of a professor to let me submit some horrifying 80-page metafictional thing about Andrew Johnson being a piece of shit, told via (among other things) histograms, MSN Messenger group chats, excerpts from a 2100 reactionary Civil War novel that does not exist, strangely erotically-charged letters between Johnson and various southern governors, excerpts from an anthropology textbook published in 2400 that also does not exist, and so on and so forth. That shit was delightful to write, so I get it, I do.

But I also don’t ask anyone to read my 80-page metafictional thing (except that poor professor, bless their soul), because when I reread it later, it wasn’t a story. Parts of it were an excuse to show off my own cleverness. Parts of it were almost a story—but I either couldn’t be assed to fill the full thing out, or I didn’t quite know how to full the thing out, or I just didn’t have the ballsiness to do so. Alas.

So, okay. In waltzes this particular story, a metafictional thingy told via excerpts from various books and websites.

And while this one didn’t enrage me with its mediocrity the way, say, STET did last year (an angry Facebook post that was only barely pretending to be a story), it also just isn’t much of a story. Weird spooky cannibal shit happens. Feminists be fightin’ with each other about intersectionality. Sure. But I feel like that’s just Tuesday afternoon on my Tumblr feed, not a proper story.

(I would be delighted to read a metafiction-y story that does manage to work for me, by the way. Hit me up with your best quirky metafiction-y shit. But this one wasn’t it.)

And Now His Lordship is Laughing by Shiv Ramdas

It’s like, fine. The prose is good. The right motions are made, mechanics-wise. There’s just not that much to the story.

This is actually a problem with most of the stuff I’m reading in SF/F zines these days. The prose is good, the prose is always reasonably good, and sometimes it’s so good I’d chop off my left pinky to be able to write some of the phrases they do. But the story part, too often, ends up being a nothingburger with nothingsauce. It’s obvious from the start that the colonial government is going to be horrid; it’s obvious from the start that Apa’s going to use some trick to get her vengeance; the only question is how. And the how wasn’t especially evocative or thrilling, to me.

Blood is Another Word for Hunger by Rivers Solomon

Y’know, this one is weird. You get a lot of points for being weird. It’s not quite Philip K. Dick levels of weird, and it could’ve benefitted from that level of weird. Like, if Sully’s gonna give birth to a bunch of previously-dead folks, I’d expect them to do some kinda weird shit, rather than just some amicable homesteading and then some Sully-planned murder, right?

What’s here is reasonably fun but I ache thinking about how much weirder and cooler it could’ve been.

Do Not Look Back, My Lion by Alix. E Harrow

This one was actually pretty solid adventure fantasy. Actually, it sort of gets me in a mindset of wondering—do I ask too much of SF/F short fiction? Like, I look at the Hugo nominees each year, and I’m always hoping to have my mind blown, my world rocked, and so on. But I dunno, the English-speaking SF/F world is only so big, my mind can only be blown so many times, and maybe something can just be a good romp & that’s perfectly deserving of an award on its own.

It does some stuff with gender, sure, and that bit’s pretty fun, but mostly it’s a cool story. Recommended if you’re into warrior chicks and/or healer chicks and/or those dating each other.

(BCS, as a venue, seems to select for a lot of this sort of thing. It’s not always revolutionary but it’s also always a story and I appreciate the shit out of that.)

As the Last I May Know by S.L. Huang

So we have a blatant ethics-of-nuclear-war metaphor going on. Lil’ trite and/or unsexy now that the Cold War’s over, but, well, the horrible threat of nuclear war never really went away, right? We just decided to ignore it in favor of other looming apocalypses. So sure, let’s ride.

I liked Tej in this story; I liked Otto Han; I liked how full a sense of their characters was evoked in such a small space. Something about Nyma didn’t quite land for me, though, and I can’t put a finger on why. I get why she’s relatively non-agenic, I understand the concerns and fears that drive her, but I just wanted something... more?

I dunno. Maybe I’m nitpicking. It was alright; I wanted more than alright.

Also, an ending like this is like when pop songs do that radio-edit lazy-fade-into-silence ending. C’mon, commit! The only time you get to do an ~ambiguous~ ending like this is when you’re writing “The Lady or the Tiger” and you want some middle school English class and/or some book club to argue ferociously over it. But endings are what elevate things from thought experiments to real stories; it’s the moment you gotta say, yeah, this is a thing about the world that I know and believe to be true.

#book post #kinda

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