Alriiiiight post time. Finished the first project of my first illustration class. The prompt was flora and fauna which I ran with, ngl. I chose an orange tree sapling paired with an epaulette shark. Pretty fun to make but pretty nerve racking not fucking it up bcs of how fine and small the details are. BUT I DID IT and I'm pretty happy with it. :)

Been a little stressy but hopefully things start looking up

like on one hand i understand why people don't like subira at first, but i'm also getting tired of seeing people shit on her without actually getting to know her. and i know how that sounds, but she's literally fine. like yes death to cops but the in game order lady isn't the evil witch come to kill zeki and reth that everyone thinks she is. and they would know that,, if they did her quests,, or at least spoiled themselves and looked at the wiki,,,

it's getting embarrassing honestly

I'm on ep5 of LOK and remembering why I have never gotten past the first season of this show. The love triangle shit is driving me INSANE in the worst of ways. It feels like fucking high school drama.

I will stick it out... because I have heard the show gets better... and also the promise of endgame Korra and Asami.... I will stick it out this time....!!!!

But God. It's so annoying 😭😭😭😭

I know once upon a time, you watched 9-1-1. Do you still keep up with it or did your interest in it die? I'm asking because I haven't seen you post or reblog anything about it recently but was curious if you've seen the news about it.

Due to the writer's strike, the break between seasons was so long, I decided to rewatch the last season first before starting the current season!

But yes, I'm still very much watching, I love that show. Rare for me to love canon pairings and I adore Bobby/Athena and Karen/Hen, so this show would have to fundamentally fuck up for me to drop it! (Still sad about Michael being written out, though I understand the IRL reasoning.)

I have seen the news about it though, or I think I know what you're referring to, at least, and I'm... already exhausted because the way I learned about it, of course, was by shippers treating this as Step One to getting their ship be canon. And I think that canon queer rep should be celebrated about being canon queer rep and not be used as stepping stones to get your non-canon ships canon. So that's, I don't know, disappointing behavior.

Can't attest to how well it was handled though because I haven't seen it yet. I hope it's actually handled. I hope there is actual... consideration. The character considering his sexuality, I mean. We so rarely get self-finding stories when it comes to queerness, too often we're just the side-characters who are already fully in their identity when they step onto our screen and considering that he has never shown any interest in men before, a retcon of "yeah no he's been bi all along" would be wild. Which, also, I hope that consideration of his sexuality leads to explicit labeling, something that's also too often hand-waved and you get to guess the sexuality by what partners a character is shown with.

So, yeah! Once I finish my rewatch, I'll get onto the current season and see how they handled it for myself and see if I like how they handled it. If I do, you can expect a delighted rant here. If I don't... well, I hope I do.

OH SHIT. my dad fuckin died today uh. rest in pieces dickhead 😘 time to CELEBRATE 🎉

hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.

Two things that are true at once:

I am not nearly as mentally ill as I’ve convinced myself I am

I am far sicker than I’ve convinced my friends that I am

I do wish I'd realized I'm an aromantic poly lesbian much earlier in life because I would have saved myself a lot of trouble but also it would have been nice to have known from the start what was up with me and A Specific Type Of Man because truly I've done it at least four times now and this is the first time I'm like fully fucking aware of what I'm doing and not trying to squash it into a societally acceptable heterosexual box like I'm not attracted to men but I like specific ones in the way a lot of aroace people have partners like human sexuality is so weird and fluid and I'm seven kinds of crazy, so when I find someone who clicks with my brain, I'm like, interested in that regardless of gender. and idk I have an easier time clicking with guys in that way because of both my gender and my prodigious daddy issues and also society because of the way mend tend to be socialized, especially if they're queer or ND in some way

all this to say that like it's not a bad thing for me to both be a lesbian and also to have a male partner or partners like sure it would be nice to have a partner I was actually attracted to but I also don't necessarily feel like I'm missing out that I don't? comphet is crazy, but I feel like rather than making me feel attraction I didn't really feel, it made me reclassify actual feelings as romantic and sexual like it's why I stayed with my partner after I came out cauae I still loved him it just wasn't the way I thought I did

just occurred to me that i could probably go on the twitter i used to connect with local bands and be like "hey this is no commitment since i don't live locally any more and can't hold you to it: what do you think is a reasonable price for someone (me) to photograph a concert/what are you willing to pay (bc those aren't necessarily the same)"

put on tshirt after doing yardwork (cuz i got hot) and my mom immediately commented "look at YOU in bArE aRmS"

so i put on my long shirt again

had the most miserable experience today.

yall my ex is so lucky we're not together now that I'm off my meds for like. not even the reason that makes sense.

me after spending the past 12 hours or so in a blinding panic of anxiety like. hm. things are really gonna be okay, huh