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popculturebuffet · 2 years

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Sam and Max: Freelance Police: Christmas Bloody Christmas Reviewcap (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! I do know it’s christmas time at all and so does Kev, my most consitant patron and contributor. As such he’s comissioned a whole sack load of christmas reviews. And to start us off it’s time to call up the freelance police for a christmas case.

I got on the Sam and Max train late. I’d always been curious about our bloodthirsty heroes, sure, but I never saw the cartoon as a kid, didn’t have a pc for the telltale games and haven’t got aroudn to buying the relreases of those games. It always seemed up my alley but I took way too long to get to it. Once I did via watching their short lived but much beloved and throughly awesome show though I was hooked. Still need to get those games. But the always changing adventures of a steady voiced and handed dog with a hidden violent streak nad his hyperactive rabbit best buddy with a violent streak so visable his walls are decorated in blood stains, he’s named them jeff, rodney and gibraltar if you were curious, are right up my comedy ally: weird, clever and fucking insane.

So I was pleased as punch to cover this for Kev as I hadn’t seen the show’s christmas ep yet. Is it a lovely pair of socks or a sack of coal? find out under the cut!

We open with our heroes enjoying some cocoa on Christmas Eve at Sam’s Sweet Old Granny’s place. Naturally peace, a crackling fire and some jam jams annoy the tar out of Max.. sam thought he’d got all that out of his fur from max trying to drown that mammoth.

Thankfully Sweet Old Granny has some holiday fun scheduled and gets our heroes to the chopper. Their going to the holly and jolliest place on earth.. a federal prison!

Sweet Old Granny used to work there as the tough as nails warden, but beneath her iron fist lurks a heart of gold as she just wants to give her former inmates some holiday cheer and enlisted our heroes to help because thanks to The Geek she has backup nephews cooling in her sewing room next to her crochete of that time she met jimmi hendrix and they fought a wendigo together.

Shockingly for a prison, the inmates LOVE granny, which given she’s going into a den full of people she kept locked up, says a lot. I wish more wardens were like Granny: tough, fair, and actually interested in helping rehabilitate her prisoners instead of just keeping the money moving.

But enough about the grim and unfair realities of the prison complex, it’s present time as our heroes hand out presents to all the good-ish boys. Turns out though there’s one bad apple in the bunch, Hertzog, who was planning a christmas eve escape joker style. If not with AS much style as he’s not riding a giant fucking christmas tree like it was the end of a christmas remake of Dr. Strangelove. I GOTTA make a note to review Christmas With The Joker next year.

Said distractoin is a blackout blackout by using Max as a bat. Our heroes give chase, helped by Sweet Old Granny knowing the place and find an inmate named.. jakes....

So alternate 90′s me gets interrogated with our heroes planning to be the somebody to call his momma, and find out Hertzog plans to take the warden hostage, having taken out the guards.

So our heroes decide to hit the showers where we get the best and most “how the hell did they get away with this” joke of the episode”

Sam: If these walls could talk Max: (Disgusted) I’d prefer if they stayed silent.

They crack me up little buddy. Herzog ends up running into them in the shower and our heroes towel whip their way to victory though Herzog manages to escape to the warden’s office. If your wondering why i’m not mentioning as many jokes this time around.. that’s because like EVERY episode of freelance police this episode is so stuffed i’d have to stop every sentence to point them out.

Our heroes use a giant willy wonka fan to catch up, and we get an utterly triumphant jingle jangly beat down as Sam’s Sweet Old Granny uses a hard as the thing fruitcake to bash hertzog’s lights out. I love getting to type things like that. OUr heroes beat him and win.. but hertzog escapes.

So it’s wrap up time and our heroes bask in the warm glow of Sweet Old Granny’s awesomeness and the prisoners happiness at getting a christmas chainsaw, the one present i’ve always wanted but never gotten. Maybe this year. And Santa shows up (and in a nice bit asks them to sign for it) with a last minute gift: herzog, who he apparently gave some season’s beatings off screen. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Christmas Bloody Christmas managed to make itself a must watch every year from here on out in one viewing. It has the advantages of most sam and max eps: it’s fast and furiously paced, fires jokes out just as fast, and is utterly and wonderfully ludicrous. Add in a great guest character in Sam’s Sweet Old Granny who we finally get to meet after being mentioned often throughout the show and you have a bonified classic i’m sad wasn’t on my best christmas episode list. The entirety of the show is on youtube, go check it out no if you haven’t or even if you have as a present to yourself.

If you want ot help spread the good cheer head over to my patreon and help kick over a few bucks to keep this blog a rollin and thanks for reading

#sam and max #sam and max freelance police #animated #fox #fox kids #telltale #christmas #holiday

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padgettheadtotoe · 3 years

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All Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 1971 songs

1. Candy Man

Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew

Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two

The candy man, the candy man can

The candy man can ’cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good

Who can take a rainbow, wrap it in a sigh

Soak it in the sun and make a strawberry–lemon pie

The candy man?

The candy man, the candy man can

The candy man can ’cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good

Willy Wonka makes everything he bakes

Satisfying and delicious

Talk about your childhood wishes

You can even eat the dishes

Who can take tomorrow, dip it in a dream

Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream

The candy man, Willy Wonka can, the candy man can

The candy man can ’cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good

And the world tastes good

‘Cause the candy man thinks it should

2. I’ve got a Golden Ticket

I never thought my life could be

Anything but catastrophe

But suddenly I begin to see

A bit of good luck for me

‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

I’ve got a golden twinkle in my eye

I never had a chance to shine

Never a happy song to sing

But suddenly half the world is mine

What an amazing thing

‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

It’s ours, Charlie

I’ve got a golden sun up in the sky

I never thought I’d see the day

When I would face the world and say

Good morning, look at the sun

I never thought that I would be

Slap in the lap of luxury

‘Cause I’d have said it couldn’t be done

But it can be done

I never dreamed that I would climb

Over the moon in ecstasy

But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m

Shortly about to be

‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

I’ve got a golden chance to make my way

And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day

Good morning, look at the sun

‘Cause I’d have said it couldn’t be done

But it can be done

I never dreamed that I would climb

Over the moon in ecstasy

But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m

Shortly about to be

‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket

I’ve got a golden chance to make my way

And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day

3. Pure Imagination

Come with me and you’ll be

In a world of pure imagination

Take a look and you’ll see

Into your imagination

We’ll begin with a spin

Trav’ling in the world of my creation

What we’ll see will defy

Explanation

{Refrain}

If you want to view paradise

Simply look around and view it

Anything you want to, do it

Want to change the world, there’s nothing to it

There is no life I know

To compare with pure imagination

Living there, you’ll be free

If you truly wish to be

{Refrain}

There is no life I know

To compare with pure imagination

Living there, you’ll be free

If you truly wish to be

4. Augustus Gloop Song

Oompa loompa doompety doo

I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you

Oompa loompa doompety dee

If you are wise you’ll listen to me

What do you get when you guzzle down sweets

Eating as much as an elephant eats

What are you at, getting terribly fat

What do you think will come of that

I don’t like the look of it

Oompa loompa doompety da

If you’re not greedy, you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

Doompety doo

5. The Rowing Song

Round the world and home again

That’s the sailor’s way

Faster faster, faster faster

There’s no earthly way of knowing

Which direction we are going

There’s no knowing where we’re rowing

Or which way the river’s flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing

Is a hurricane a–blowing

Not a speck of light is showing

So the danger must be growing

Are the fires of Hell a–glowing

Is the grisly reaper mowing

Yes, the danger must be growing

For the rowers keep on rowing

And they’re certainly not showing

Any signs that they are slowing

6. Violet Beauregarde Song

Oompa loompa doompety doo

I’ve got another puzzle for you

Oompa loompa doompeda dee

If you are wise you’ll listen to me

Gum chewing’s fine when it’s once in a while

It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile

But it’s repulsive, revolting and wrong

Chewing and chewing all day long

The way that a cow does

Oompa loompa doompety da

Given good manners you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

7. I Want it Now

Gooses, geeses

I want my geese to lay gold eggs for Easter

At least a hundred a day

And by the way

I want a feast

I want a bean feast

Cream buns and doughnuts

And fruitcake with no nuts

So good you could go nuts

No, now

I want a ball

I want a party

Pink macaroons

And a million balloons

And performing baboons and

Give it to me now

I want the world

I want the whole world

I want to lock it

All up in my pocket

It’s my bar of chocolate

Give it to me now

I want today

I want tomorrow

I want to wear ’em

Like braids in my hair and

I don’t want to share ’em

I want a party with roomfuls of laughter

Ten thousand tons of ice cream

And if I don’t get the things I am after

I’m going to scream

I want the works

I want the whole works

Presents and prizes

And sweets and surprises

Of all shapes and sizes

And now

Don’t care how, I want it now

8. Veruca Salt Song

Oompa loompa doompety doo

I’ve got another puzzle for you

Oompa loompa doompety dee

If you are wise you’ll listen to me

Who do you blame when your kid is a brat

Pampered and spoiled like a siamese cat

Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame

You know exactly who’s to blame

The mother and the father

Oompa loompa doompety da

If you’re not spoiled then you will go far

You will live in happiness too

Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do

9. Mike Teevee Song

Oompa loompa doompety doo

I’ve got another puzzle for you

Oompa loompa doompeda dee

If you are wise you’ll listen to me

What do you get from a glut of TV

A pain in the neck and an IQ of three

Why don’t you try simply reading a book

Or could you just not bear to look

You’ll get no

You’ll get no commercials

Oompa loompa doompety da

If you’re not greedy you will go far you will live in happiness to like the oompa loompa doompety doo

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brookston · 2 years

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Holidays 1.29

Holidays

Blue and Pink Day

Bubblegum Sculpture Day

Carnation Day (a.k.a. Red Carnation Day)

Curmudgeons’ Day

Feast of Overdue Expectations

Fields Day

Freethinkers’ Day

Great Fruitcake Toss (Manitou Springs, Colorado) [Last Saturday]

Hall of Fame Day (MLB)

Holiday of the Three Hierarchs (Greece)

Jigsaw Puzzle Day

Kansas Statehood Day (#34; 1861)

National Puzzle Day

National Seed Swap Day [Last Saturday]

Nevermore Day

Romeo and Juliet Day

Sahid Diwash (Martyrs’ Day; Nepal)

Seeing Eye Dog Day

Tet Holiday begins (Vietnam) [thru 1st]

Thomas Paine Day

Yay Day (Sam & Cat TV Show) [Last Saturday]

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Corn Chip Day

Potato Day

Sugar Cone Day

Weisse Beer Day

Feast Days

Andrei Rublev (Episcopal Church (USA))

Aquilinus of Milan (Christian; Saint)

Constantius of Perugia (Christian; Saint)

Dallán Forgaill (Christian; Saint)

The Equiria in the Campus Martius (a.k.a. The Pacalia; Ancient Rome)

Francis of Sales (Christian; Saint)

Gamelion Noumenia (Festival to All Gods & Goddesses; Ancient Greece)

Gildas the Albanian or Scot (Christian; Saint)

Gildas the Wise (a.k.a. Badoncius; Christian; Saint)

Juniper (Christian; Saint)

Sabinian of Troyes (Christian; Saint)

Sulpicius Severus (Christian; Saint)

Sulpitius I of Bourges (Christian; Saint)

Valerius of Trèves (Christian; Saint)

Valero’s Feast (Spain; Saint)

Vasant Panchami (Celebrating Saraswati, Hindu goddess of knowledge)

Virgil (Positivist; Saint)

Willy Wonka Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Lucky Day (Philippines) [6 of 71]

Prime Number Day: 29 [10 of 72]

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Tycho Brahe Unlucky Day (Scandinavia) [7 of 37]

Very Unlucky Day (Grafton’s Manual of 1565) [8 of 60]

Premieres

Faust, complete play, by Goethe (Play; 1829)

The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe (Poem; 1845)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 29 of 2022; 336 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 6 of week 4 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Luis (Rowan) [Day 9 of 28]

Chinese: Month 12 (Xin-Chou), Day 27 (Ren-Wu

Chinese Year of the: Ox (until February 1, 2022)

Discordian: Prickle-Prickloe, Chaos 29, Year of Our Lady of Discord 3188

Hebrew: 27 Shevat 5782

Islamic: 25 Jumada II 1443

J Cal: 29 Aer; Sevenday [29 of 30]

Julian: 16 January 2022

Moon: 8.6% Waning Crescent

Positivist: 1 Homer (2nd Month), Virgil

Runic Half Month: Elhaz (Elk) [Day 2 of 15]

Season: Winter (Day 40 of 90)

Zodiac: Aquarius (Day 10 of 30)

Calendar Changes

Homer (Ancient Poetry) [Month 2 of 13; Positivist]

#calendar #Holidays

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brookstonalmanac · 2 years

Text

Holidays 1.29

Holidays

Blue and Pink Day

Bubblegum Sculpture Day

Carnation Day (a.k.a. Red Carnation Day)

Curmudgeons’ Day

Feast of Overdue Expectations

Fields Day

Freethinkers’ Day

Great Fruitcake Toss (Manitou Springs, Colorado) [Last Saturday]

Hall of Fame Day (MLB)

Holiday of the Three Hierarchs (Greece)

Jigsaw Puzzle Day

Kansas Statehood Day (#34; 1861)

National Puzzle Day

National Seed Swap Day [Last Saturday]

Nevermore Day

Romeo and Juliet Day

Sahid Diwash (Martyrs’ Day; Nepal)

Seeing Eye Dog Day

Tet Holiday begins (Vietnam) [thru 1st]

Thomas Paine Day

Yay Day (Sam & Cat TV Show) [Last Saturday]

Food & Drink Celebrations

National Corn Chip Day

Potato Day

Sugar Cone Day

Weisse Beer Day

Feast Days

Andrei Rublev (Episcopal Church (USA))

Aquilinus of Milan (Christian; Saint)

Constantius of Perugia (Christian; Saint)

Dallán Forgaill (Christian; Saint)

The Equiria in the Campus Martius (a.k.a. The Pacalia; Ancient Rome)

Francis of Sales (Christian; Saint)

Gamelion Noumenia (Festival to All Gods & Goddesses; Ancient Greece)

Gildas the Albanian or Scot (Christian; Saint)

Gildas the Wise (a.k.a. Badoncius; Christian; Saint)

Juniper (Christian; Saint)

Sabinian of Troyes (Christian; Saint)

Sulpicius Severus (Christian; Saint)

Sulpitius I of Bourges (Christian; Saint)

Valerius of Trèves (Christian; Saint)

Valero’s Feast (Spain; Saint)

Vasant Panchami (Celebrating Saraswati, Hindu goddess of knowledge)

Virgil (Positivist; Saint)

Willy Wonka Day (Church of the SubGenius; Saint)

Lucky & Unlucky Days

Lucky Day (Philippines) [6 of 71]

Prime Number Day: 29 [10 of 72]

Tomobiki (友引 Japan) [Good luck all day, except at noon.]

Tycho Brahe Unlucky Day (Scandinavia) [7 of 37]

Very Unlucky Day (Grafton’s Manual of 1565) [8 of 60]

Premieres

Faust, complete play, by Goethe (Play; 1829)

The Raven, Edgar Allan Poe (Poem; 1845)

Today is Also…

Day of Year: Day 29 of 2022; 336 days remaining in the year

ISO: Day 6 of week 4 of 2022

Celtic Tree Calendar: Luis (Rowan) [Day 9 of 28]

Chinese: Month 12 (Xin-Chou), Day 27 (Ren-Wu

Chinese Year of the: Ox (until February 1, 2022)

Discordian: Prickle-Prickloe, Chaos 29, Year of Our Lady of Discord 3188

Hebrew: 27 Shevat 5782

Islamic: 25 Jumada II 1443

J Cal: 29 Aer; Sevenday [29 of 30]

Julian: 16 January 2022

Moon: 8.6% Waning Crescent

Positivist: 1 Homer (2nd Month), Virgil

Runic Half Month: Elhaz (Elk) [Day 2 of 15]

Season: Winter (Day 40 of 90)

Zodiac: Aquarius (Day 10 of 30)

Calendar Changes

Homer (Ancient Poetry) [Month 2 of 13; Positivist]

#Holidays

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beerandpresentdanger · 7 years

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A Night on the ‘Town

I can still pinpoint the exact moment I really got into beer. It was 2005, winter, and I was looking for something to do with a group of friends, when we wandered into a seasonal beer festival organised by CAMRA and Cambridge RAG. I still remember every sound and image from that evening - the fug of steam after walking in from the cold drizzle, the hiss of waxed jackets from the heaving crowd, and the vermilion slop of chilli being ladled onto baked potatoes the size of my fist. Then there were the beers. Row upon row of metal casks, arranged around the hall, with strange, evocative names taped to the front in clear plastic wallets. I was so stunned, I even called my dad to tell him where him was, as if still seeking approval or praise. Then I proceeded to order halves of every strong stout they had and got crushingly, irredeemably drunk.

Things haven’t changed that much, if the Beavertown Extravaganza is anything to go by. At least, they haven’t changed for me - 12 years, several jobs, one wife and child later, and I’m still over-ordering strong stouts and ruining the next morning. In every other sense, things have changed massively, and the Extravaganza - #BeaverEx17 as the hashtag had it - is the perfect way to record and chart just how far things have come for beer in the UK.

I missed the Friday session and resigned myself to watching on Twitter, never a fun way to experience any major event, whether a football game or a terrorist atrocity. I watched complaints crop up - running out of beer, excessive lines - and resigned myself to spending a Saturday being mildly disappointed. But I still got there 30 minutes before it even opened, because I wanted to believe.

I was right to. After we got in to the Printworks, a huge industrial space a few hops on the Overground from Beer and Present Danger HQ, we were ushered into a cavernous holding space where we picked up an adorably lilliputian glass, and were faced with two choices - go left, and enjoy one of the many food trucks, or go right, and get in line for two hours before being let in to the bars.

We chose the queue. We were right at the front, while the crowd swelled and jostled behind us, with lines of sight and time to formulate a plan of attack. Dart left to line up up at Other Half for quick hit of juicy Double Citra Daydream, then swerve across the hall to Omnipollo for a pour of the viscous, almost unbearably sweet Yellow Belly Sundae. Then a quick scurry to the second room to grab anything Three Floyds were serving, before Trillium, before Cigar City, before, before, before, before… We felt the hordes mass behind us. The security staff warned us to walk, not run, to our chosen stands. The clock ticked closer to 1pm. The atmosphere was electric, There was movement from the guards and suddenly we were loosed - straight into another queue.

Yeah, so it turned out that they’d second guessed our super keen rampage, and we’d have to wait another 15 minutes while the crowds filed in and queues built at all the stands. There would be no optimised Supermarket Sweep style speed dash for us. But as it turned out, that didn’t particularly matter.

Throughout the day, we queued for several of the most sought-after breweries, and even if they seemed daunting, the queues never seemed to last for longer than 15 minutes at a time. And frankly, that was time well spent, because I needed some buffer between the incredible brews that were on offer, especially given my preferences (I mentioned the strong stout thing, right?) I got my Yellow Belly Sundae, as rich and unctuous as a peanut butter caramel brownie. I got my Cigar City Hunahpu’s, the rare imperial stout out of Tampa that was a deep and raisin-wrinkled treat. I got Three Floyds Dark Lord de Muerte, one of the rarest beers in the world, that smelt of Marmite and tasted of just about everything. Oh, and Trillium Affogato (pure espresso), Firestone Walker Parabajava (sherry and fruitcake), Dugges Speyside Cacao (the name says it all), Alesong Bailey’s Joy (the name doesn’t begin to cover it), and many, many more. 100ml pours were more than enough. When you’re using DIPAs to cleanse your palate, you know something is either going really right, or really wrong.

The whole day was a wonderful, slightly hallucinatory affair - after we’d done a lap or two, the scale of it unfolded and we realised this was as close to being trapped in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory as we were ever likely to get. It was beer Comic Con, minus people cosplaying as Saint Gambrinus or Tim Martin. It was beer Glastonbury, without the mud. Even the toilets were nice - no signs of amateur brewers hanging out in the cubicles doing lines of purest lupulin powder off the top of the cistern.

It wasn’t perfect of course - given the ambition and the fact it was the inaugural event, there were bound to be teething issues, though these seemed to be as a result of the punters as much as the organisers. There was a lot of “Oh hey, how’s it going!” queue jumping when a particularly good keg came on, and it seemed that more than a few people had helped themselves to more than one glass at the beginning in order to double up their intake. And by the end of the day, quite a few gentlemen (and it was always the gentlemen) could be seen looking slightly tired and emotional, head lolling over a bench. I couldn’t find any bottled water and had to keep heading outside to get sips from the enormous tanks, and, the biggest issue, which I’m sure will upset many people, was that the beer really did mostly run out almost an hour before it finished, with bars switching to Gamma Ray and Neck Oil if they offered anything at all. But by that time, it was hard to bring yourself to care - if you hadn’t had enough, you hadn’t tried hard enough.

Oh, and there was no wine for the wives. But that’s another issue.

On the whole, the day felt like a huge success, and given what I’d pay for even a sniff of each of the individual beers I had, the ticket price was incredible value. It also felt like a real special moment, an accumulation of people and moods that shone with positivity and possibility. Here we were in south London, next door to a Decathlon, with some of the best beers in the world, and people like Sierra Nevada’s Steve Grossman pouring them himself. In a few weeks, I’m sure half the breweries there will reveal the collaborations that were dreamt up when all these people got together to make beautiful, boozy babies.

I didn’t even have time to see more than 10 minutes of impressive-sounding seminars, or pay more than a passing visit to the gallery of label art. I did get to sit on the bus, however. That was good.

12 years since my first beer festival, and they still leave me reeling. Maybe I should stick to the session ales next time.

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leoustarroz-blog · 4 years

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Label-Less #8: Sliding to the Otherside (3/6)

=== The Warehouse, Metropolis, 8:00 AM ===

*Her eyes open and she stretches her arms wide.*

“I haven’t slept like that in… wait… bacon?”

*The scent of breakfast reminds her of suppressed memories, some joyful, some painful. The reason to which she was smelling this scent puzzled her, while also putting her on her toes. She snuck to the door and slowly creeped it open. A robot stands by a now spotless stove, bacon sizzles in the pan.*

John: Good mornin’, bright eyes.

“What in the hell?”

*She drags herself into the makeshift kitchen and plots down at the table.*

John: Had myself a couple extra hours so I did some tidyin’ up, truth be told my days in corps left me with a few decent habits.

Doris: like what, cooking?

John: Ha! No, that was the kid Dell, he had me loaded with some new learnin’ programs. Hope you paid him a hefty amount, kid needs it with the rent.

Doris: Didn’t know you’d be concerned about someone like him.

John: I like him, little wet behind the ears, but he’s bright.

*John slides a plate of bacon and eggs in front of Doris.*

John: Hope you take your eggs scrambled.

Doris: I don’t.

“He’s acting like my mom, it’s weird and creepy.”

*She takes a bite of the eggs. They were crisp and flavorful, with just a hint of pepper.*

Doris: Dell didn’t install a learning program, did he?

John: What’s got you sayin’ that?

“I know nothing about cooking, but these are too good to learn in one night.”

Doris: I just know.

John: Heh, well my little secret; mom was a devil of a cook.

“She must have been, I haven’t eaten something like this in… wait did he making anything for himself? No, He’s a robot, he doesn’t eat. Did he sleep?”

Doris: You said you had extra hours, you didn’t sleep last night did you?

John: Caught me again, your quite a questioner today aren’t you, bright eyes? Well, I don’t need to sleep.

“Kinda wish I did.”

Doris: I need you at your best.

John: A soldier not givin’ a 110% ain’t a good soldier.

Doris: Of course. Now, about today. You’re absolutely sure *he* has *it*.

John: I’m always sure.

Doris: Don’t be stupid, it’s Winslow Schott after all, damn lunatic.

John: He’s a fruitcake, but he’s a genius and detailed fruitcake. You got somethin’ for me to wear? Walkin’ around like this might bring out the skynet crazies.

*She gives him a sarcastic glare for his comment.*

John: I didn’t spend *all* night cleanin’.

Doris: Check the cardboard boxes.

*He starts digging through a box full of clothes for a proper fit.*

John: Have to admit, those movies didn’t get better.

Doris: I don’t care for TV.

John: You gotta have a favorite franchise. Let me guess, King Kong? Godzilla? Transformers?

Doris: Hilarious.

John: Nah, you’re the romantic type, Clueless? Sleepless in Seattle?

Doris: Far from it.

John, pulling a jacket from the box: No, hold on…. Titanic.

Doris: You sure do like the 90s.

John: Heh, guess my head’s still back there.

Doris, whispers: It’s probably still up your ass.

John: What’s that?! I got super hearin’ so it wasn’t quiet enough!

*He pulls on a pair of brown pants, and slips on a blue jacket. Both reasonably cover him and fit with little annoyance.*

John: Ya know, I think I got it. You like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

Doris: Are you done yet?

John: An underdog story, kid who’s just tryin’ to support his family. Gives up his childhood to support them and by chance of fate gets to experience his wildest dreams.

Doris: Why would I care about that?

John: You were an underdog.

Doris: How would you know?

John: I like said, I wanted to get to know my future partner. I gave you the option to tell me ‘bout yourself, when you said no I did my own searchin’.

*She stands as he finishes and marches to him, standing inches from his glowing eye sockets with a slowly building intolerance.*

John: You really seem to like this spot.

Doris: What the hell is your game?

John: Same as yours. Giving these guys a proper unmarked grave.

Doris: Stay out of my past.

John: I know what you’re doin’ here, bright eyes. You’re puttin’ a lot on the line for one man.

*She grabs him by the jacket and grips the fabric with malice.*

John: I didn’t need to dig through a criminal database to figure that out.

*She drops him and turns to the doorway she came from.*

Doris: Just get dressed and get the f*ck out of here.

*She walks back to her room with a hint of speed in her step.*

John: From what I read he seemed like a decent guy.

*She slams the door behind her, allowing the sound to echo.*

“You won’t miss me when I’m gone.”

John: ‘bout time I found a hat.

*He flips the hat around to see a Superman crest on it.*

John: Heh, too ironic.

*John stands to his feet and walks to the back door. He turns back to get a glimpse of the old warehouse before he departs.*

John: Good luck, bright eyes.

*He opens the door, places the cap on his head and walks out as the door shuts behind him for what he believes the last time.*

==== Metropolis, Unknown, 10:00 AM ====

“He’s going through a lot, Lois. You and Jon returning out of nowhere, his father, the Justice League, even the man of steel gets tired. He’s doing his best to hold strong. I couldn’t be more proud of him for putting up with everything I’m doing right now, but it’s time you get to get your head in the game.”

*She peels back the fencing and walks to the rusted door.*

“He’ll have the place crawling with stuff that’d give anyone nightmares, anyone but me. “Don’t get in over your head, Lois.” It’s how I get the scoops, Perry.”

*She starts picking at the lock.*

“Just a few more… finally.”

*She creeks open the door to an abandoned toy factory. The ceiling sounds of swaying wooden dolls, innocent smiles remade to horrors with age and terminates.*

“He’s not around to save you this time. Is he? Hmmm, if I get caught I can test how great his super hearing is.”

*She sneaks through the old factory. The sounds of aching wood and rusted servos alerts her to a coming menace. She hides behind a few rotted boxes as a nightmarish wooden jester hobbles by.*

Lois, whispers: Sheesh, screams more Joker than Toyman.

Toyman: Oh Miss Lane….

*She whirls around faced with a short little man. An enormous cracked Doll helmet covers his face and a brief spinning emits from his flashy yo-yo.*

Toyman: The Toyman doesn’t like cheaters.

*The Jester grabs Lois from behind. She kicks in panic, but the android’s strength more than matches her.*

Lois: No! Let me go!

*Toyman slowly creeps to her, the yo-yo jumping up and down with a flick of his wrist.*

Toyman: And what do I with cheaters?

????: Schott.

*A man stands in the shadows, his eyes glowing with an ominous green and his voice with an echoed chill.*

Toyman: Another playmate?

????: No.

*He steps into the light.*

John: I need your help.

Toyman, gasps: My favorite toy soldier.

“Favorite toy soldier? That phrase. It triggered somethin’. I can remember… it’s fuzzy, some bullsh*t with those alternate “heroes”. Gaps in time that felt alien to me, like they never happened. Maybe, I think… I was a gift.”

Posted by Crazy Jake on 2019-08-13 07:25:21

Tagged: , 8

The post Label-Less #8: Sliding to the Otherside (3/6) appeared first on Good Info.

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trendingnewsb · 6 years

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Aesthetically Pleasing Movie Scenes That Always Make Me Hungry

Anytime Keri Russell makes a pie in

Waitress

I watched this movie on an airplane once and remember feeling incredibly sad for all of the characters, but the movie trailer (which I just re-watched to check out the pies) made it look like some quirky romantic comedy.

How hungry I am: Pie is one of those foods where I always think I love it and then when I’m actually eating it, I start wishing I were eating something else. That being said, watching Keri Russell baking makes me think maybe I actually love pie. The most alluring one is the “Pregnant, Miserable, Self-Pitying Loser Pie,” which not only has a name that almost entirely resonates with me (minus “Pregnant”), but is a mix of oatmeal and fruitcake, which sounds .

The whole “I Want Candy” scene in Antoinette

Marie Antoinette

I think I am one out of maybe 10 people who really loved this movie and still makes references to it. Actually, a lot of people I know hated it. This is one of my favorite movie scenes ever. EVER.

How hungry I am: Starving!!!! Famished!!! The cupcakes! The icing! The fruit! The jelly! This is WHY I want to marry into ROYALTY — to be surrounded by baked goods at all times! And, unrelated to the food, but someone remind me to incorporate more feathers into my outfits.

The Chocolate Room in

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

This mention does NOT apply to the very frightening Johnny Depp remake.

How hungry I am: VERY. I knew I wanted to include a photo of Gene Wilder eating the teacup because I loved that scene when I was growing up. My life goal has always been to drink tea and then eat the cup afterwards. That’s it, I don’t aspire to do anything else. Also I would definitely drink the chocolate river. Also this movie is kinda fucked up.

The strudel and cream in

Inglorious Basterds

I can barely pay attention to the dialogue in this scene because this looks so good.

How hungry I am: Like the pies in , I don’t think I’m a big strudel fan. But the !!!!!!!!!

Pretty much every single scene in

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

This documentary made me incredibly emotional.

How hungry I am: The sushi looks like art to me, I would be afraid to eat it for that reason — it all just looks so perfect and dainty. I’ve never had egg custard, but I want to try it. WOULD LOVE to have dinner with Jiro and his entire family. I wonder if he’d be repulsed if I told him I eat sushi from a makeshift deli in the basement of my apartment building.

All of the food scenes in , but especially the part where Jon Favreau makes a grilled cheese

Chef

Seriously. I used to microwave bread and cheese to make grilled cheeses at 3AM in college. This is like ASMR to me.

How hungry I am: Slight advantage to this movie because it’s about food, but I’d saw off my hand for one of the Cuban sandwiches they make.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2EShCHO

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#IFTTT #Viral News HQ

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foursprout-blog · 6 years

Text

Aesthetically Pleasing Movie Scenes That Always Make Me Hungry

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/aesthetically-pleasing-movie-scenes-that-always-make-me-hungry/

Aesthetically Pleasing Movie Scenes That Always Make Me Hungry

youtube

Anytime Keri Russell makes a pie in Waitress

Waitress

How hungry I am: Pie is one of those foods where I always think I love it and then when I’m actually eating it, I start wishing I were eating something else. That being said, watching Keri Russell baking makes me think maybe I actually do love pie. The most alluring one is the “Pregnant, Miserable, Self-Pitying Loser Pie,” which not only has a name that almost entirely resonates with me (minus “Pregnant”), but is a mix of oatmeal and fruitcake, which sounds amazing.

The whole “I Want Candy” scene in Marie Antoinette

Marie Antoinette

I think I am one out of maybe 10 people who really loved this movie and still makes references to it. Actually, a lot of people I know hated it. This is one of my favorite movie scenes ever. EVER.

The Chocolate Room in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

This mention does NOT apply to the very frightening Johnny Depp remake.

The strudel and cream in Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds

I can barely pay attention to the dialogue in this scene because this looks so good.

How hungry I am: Like the pies in Waitress, I don’t think I’m a big strudel fan. But the cream!!!!!!!!!

Pretty much every single scene in Jiro Dreams of Sushi

Jiro Dreams of Sushi

This documentary made me incredibly emotional.

All of the food scenes in Chef, but especially the part where Jon Favreau makes a grilled cheese

Chef

Seriously. I used to microwave bread and cheese to make grilled cheeses at 3AM in college. This is like ASMR to me.

How hungry I am: Slight advantage to this movie because it’s all about food, but I’d saw off my hand for one of the Cuban sandwiches they make.

#Happiness

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swan1974-blog · 7 years

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Swan shock treatment dream

Swan woke up and sees sam wearing black in red lighting. Swan wore a red and black suit and matching bellbottoms, Mostly dragon patterned,the dress shirt is satin red,there is a satin purple and black dragon pattern huge bow tie. A waistcoat lapel pattern is rainbow dragons on a royal purple and neon green fire flamed pattern shining in the light changing colors. He has rainbow colorchanging gloves that shine in the light to change colors. He had on hot pink satin fur coat with royal purple fur for the fur lapels on the coat. Swan says to Sam,Can you explain something to me? Why I am dressed like Prince and Willy wonka. Sam says,well this is a shock treatment themed dream I watched you seeing it. So why not. Swan says,I like the outfit but I have it in real life I slept in it right now while dreaming of the film. But it showed in this dream. Why are you laughing at me? Are you hungry? What do I look like a fruitcake! It means gay Sam. Sam laughed at swan's outburst and saying,yeah I know You look like Willy wonka a lot but evil. Swan gave a angry look. Sam says ok ok I was just kidding. Jeez Swan says,HE WAS NEVER EVIL. Sam says,HOW YOU KNOW? Swan says,I NEVER SEEN HIM BE EVIL. Sam says,COME AND BE AMAZED! Swan smilies. They go inside to see a tv studio. The elaborate opening shot begins on Willy wonka in the overhead video booth which has a lot of monitors on the walls. We never see his face only his shadow. and the camera slowly does a 360 degree pan around the room as the crew prepares for the show and swan and Sam finally enter the tv purple studio. Swan sees something that reminded of himself The names on everything Willy was trying to put his name on everything The chairs and all over the studio. Swan felt cheated because he felt like Willy stole everything he has The naming everything everywhere on the cameras and the red and black accents Even adding purple to the mix. Swan says,stay here Sam. Sam sees dr phibes and sy grabbing her. Sam screamed for swan, Swan didn't hear her. Swan goes upstairs to the booth. He sees what that mostly resembled him when he hid in his office like in the film phantom of the paradise. Swan can see Willy wearing a royal satin purple regular suit with a gold and purple fire bow tie With purple lights hiding him With green fog hiding his face. With the camera monitors behind him Giving him a sinister look. Swan asked,why are you here? Is it about Sam? Willy says coldly,OH, SAM, HUH? A SHORT PRETTY BLONDE GIRL WHO KNOWS ALL YOUR SECRETS? MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Swan gets goosebumps as he heard willy's dark creepy words about Sam, In the shadows,Willy evilly smilies at swan. Willy revealed himself to swan. Swan sees willy's hair changed to not curly Into looking like John Denver with long hair. Willy was trying to be like swan with the hair. Swan noticed Willy is trying to be evil. Swan didn't like this one bit. Swan found it creepy. Swan yelled,why are you trying to be like me! Willy says with a dark creepy tone,YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO'S GONE LOONEY. Swan was shocked by his words. Willy says,I KNEW IF YOU SAW YOURSELF YOU WOULD BE SHOCKED! Willy smilies evilly. Swan was shocked. Then swan sees Willy waving goodbye to him as dr phibes and sy take swan away. Swan sees himself while seated in the audience are chosen to participate in the game show Marriage Maze by the supposedly eccentric and kooky host Willy wonka. As a "prize", Swan is imprisoned on Willyville, a soap opera that centers upon the local mental hospital run by sy and dr phibes, They see swan. Swan sees dr phibes wear a white satin and red fur coat along with a satin red 1920's Doctor suit with black buttons. Sy says to swan,HEY, YOU LOOK A LOT LIKE WILLY! Swan says,I KNOW... Dr phibes says, Better than my outfit. Swan says,Yeah right, Dad! Dr phibes smilies at swan remark. Dr phibes says,Why, thank you. Swan says,So who else do I know here? Hm... Then he sees his mother as a crazed nurse. Victoria his mother says to swan,HELLO, SWAN. Swan says,LONG TIME NO SEE. How have you been? Victoria says,A LITTLE looney, but okay. Nice to see you! Swan says,Nice to see you too! Swan smilies at his young mother. They smile at swan, They bring Sam in. They all sing shock treatment, I'm not a loco with motive to suture myself I've been a cynic for too many years Playing doctor and nurse, it can be good for your health I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers But if you open your heart to a smooth operator He'll take you for all that you've got He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later It'll shake you the way he takes off like a shot You need a bit of Ooooh...Shock Treatment Gets you jumping like a real live wire Need a bit of Ooooh...Shock Treatment So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor For a vista that'll mystify ya You're blinded by romance, you're blinded by science You're condition is critically grave But don't expect mercy from such an alliance Suspicion of traditions so new wave You need a bit of Ooooh...Shock Treatment Gets you jumping like a real live wire Need a bit of Ooooh...Shock Treatment SWAN FELT A SURGE OF ENERGY GOING THROUGH HIM. So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor For a sister that'll certify ya (fy ya, fy ya) You need a bit of Ooooh...Shock Treatment Gets you jumping like a real live wire You need a bit of Ooooh...Shock Treatment So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor For a sister that'll certify ya (fy ya, fy ya, fy ya) Swan faceplamed. He sees a red and black cage. Swan is in it with Sam. They look at each other Swan says,Why are we in here? Sam says,Ask HIM! Swan sees Willy grabbing Sam. In a purple and gold dressing room, Sam is given a taste of show-biz as Willy molds her into a singing diva superstar in an attempt to take her away from Swan. Sam says to Willy,YOU'RE CRAZY! Willy says,NO I AM WILLY. We have to get married. Sam says,no Why are you looking like my father Willy says evilly,BECAUSE HE STOLE MY IDEAS AND MADE IT HIS OWN SO I AM MERELY TAKING WHAT IS MINE! Sam says with a shocked tone in her voice,WHAT?! Willy gives her a drug made out of candy. Her compliance is assured through the use of drugs supplied by Willy. Erin and Quinn investigate Willy and other people involved in wonkatv eventually discovering that Sy and Dr phibes are not doctors, but merely character actors, and Willy is jealous of swan because he seen how swan has a better father daughter relationship with Sam,trying to put himself as swan's long-lost twin brother, seeking to destroy Swan and take Sam for himself. The pair rescue Swan from Willyville and Erin says to swan,We have to stop him. Willy is going marry Sam. Let's hurry Swan says,I WONDER HOW HE WOULD MANAGE TO DO THAT? Swan turns to Quinn, Quinn says,my dad drugged her into thinking Willy is you. SO SAM HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE IS DOING! Swan felt anger and says,WHAT GOTTEN INTO HIM?! I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO HARM MY PRECIOUS GIRL. HE TOOK IMITATING ME TOO FAR! Quinn says,you ready? Swan says,the hell I am. They see the video monitors in willy's office. They all see Willy preparing the wedding with Sam looking woozy. Wearing a purple and green dress. Swan says to the monitor,WHERE IS WILLY? Swan sees Willy saying to someone saying,have her be killed. It would be televised coast to coast Now that's entertainment Swan feels anger at Willy. Swan yelled,I WILL MURDER ANYONE WHO MURDERS MY DAUGHTER! AAARRGH! Swan turns around to see Erin and Quinn. Swan goes downstairs. Erin and Quinn have Swan confront his "twin"on willy's wedding show candy Faust. Swan noticed Willy tries to marry off Sam To show how evil he can be. Willy puts on a boat ride type of wedding With colorful lights and disturbing imagery Like a needle stabbed into a arm and lots of gore It has like purple girl strippers covered in blood Sam emerged in her dark purple and neon green glittering dress, giddily happy with dilated eyes. Swan could still smell everything strongly and knew from the chemical scent that she'd been heavily drugged. Ignoring Quinn's disapproving gaze, Swan clutched Sam by the shoulders. Swan yelled,Sam you have to get out of here, now! Willy going to have you killed! He's not me! Sam says,Killed? Oh, no, you must be mistaken! You going to marry me… Swan yelled in frustration,NO I AM NOT AND BELIEVE ME! AND THE WEDDING THING... Yeah, about that, don't you think it's kind of sudden? Sam says with a woozy giggle,Of course…but it's meant to be! Nothing but good things have happened! Swan yelled,It's because of Willy,Sam! You owe him nothing and God, not him! He's evil Sammy! Sam clutched swan while she shook with laughter. Sam says,We can't all be perfect like you,daddy! Swan resisted the urge to scream in frustration. Swan hoped He was having better luck. Quinn asked as she danced past him,SO DOES SHE KNOW WHO WILLY IS AND HE IS NOT YOU? Swan whispered in her ear,SHE THINKS I WOULD MARRY HER AND I TOLD HER NO. Quinn frowned. As much as she wanted to doubt him, something deep down told her to trust him. Quinn seen swan do amazing things in the short time he have been here. He wasn't fake, not like all the other men. Swan says with fear in his voice,WILLY SAID HE WOULD HAVE HER KILLED! She pantomimed something scary,HOW? Swan said reluctantly,I DO NOT KNOW... That's the one. Their time to talk was up. They'd been drifting further apart slowly and now had to be on opposite sides of the stage. She was still frowning and he wasn't sure that she believed him. Willy appeared in the middle of the flower. It was then that Swan realized what willy had done. He was wearing neon green with purple vest and tie,a rainbow dress shirt with black satin gloves. He had on a purple mask—and so was she. Two sides of the same coin… Swan felt sick to his stomach when he sees them kiss. Of course,Willy wasn't himself right now. His eyes were overly bright from the evil influence inside and the air seemed to darken visibly. He caught swan's gaze with a smirk. Willy said,it's over…I win… Swan dropped Sam's mask of everything being okay and he sent him a pleading gaze. His hands were shaking, but He kept everything else controlled tightly. Swan yelled,SNAP OUT OF THIS EVIL PHASE WILLY! Willy removed his mask. Swan jumped out of his skin when he sees willy's face with the skin torn off,muscles showing, blood veins red and blue showing ,and blood and a little bit of skull showing. Willy says with malice,EVIL, HUH? MWHAHAH! Willy smilies at swan. Swan remembered that same cold expression and it finally dawned on swan that this was Willy. Quinn disappeared from sight and Swan wondered what had happened. The priest started the ceremony. Then swan sees Willy getting a knife and stabbing Sam in the heart. Swan yelled,OH MY GOSH YOU MONSTER! Willy says evilly,MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Willy felt no remorse. Swan sees Sam falling in the floor and held her in her pool of blood. Swan gets up and faces Willy. Swan yelled with anger,WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? TRYING TO IMITATE ME?! Willy says something that made swan really angry,WELL YOU HAVE HARMED PEOPLE. Swan yelled,I WOULD NEVER HURT SAM! Willy and swan fight. Then Willy smilies at swan evilly as his face was bloody by swan. Swan felt extreme anger and yelled,YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS! Willy says evils, I ALWAYS TOLD YOU THAT TOO, REMEMBER? Swan sighed. Willy imprisons the three and Sam, but they manage to escape in a car along with a local band. The dream ends with swan waking up.

#swan #shock treatment

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