bunch of dndads doodles!! love these fuckin guys

40.

My mom and Leon are the worst at trying to be quiet, like they woke me trying to be sneaky, it just doesn’t work at all “Reign, girl please. Stop” I heard Leon say outside my door, they going to be in shock when they see me awake still, the door opened ever so slowly “oh baby, you’re awake!” My mom said, I just laughed because they are so stupid “I would be awake for Reign that is why, but you are all so cute” I love them “Happy Birthday to my baby, my precious baby girl” my mom came over to me, leaning down to me and started kissing my face “I love you so much, happy birthday” she moved back, Reign is too happy with the balloon, she is pushing it away and then it comes back and she pushed it away again, that girl of mine is too entertained “Happy Birthday to my beautiful friend, my sister, my ride or die, my homie. My girlfriend, my wife, my baby mother. Oh, the list is endless, I love you to the moon and back, you are now the same age has Moi!! Welcome to the twenty-seven club baby!! Ayeee!!” Leon shouted, “we not singing to mommy today?” Leon looked down at Reign, she is busy with the balloon, this girl “I just wanted to say, I am extra proud of you. You’re a beautiful mother and we are going to turn the fuck up!!” Shuffling up on the bed “y’all are so cute, thank you so much” Leon placed Reign on the bed “is Uncle Leon taking the balloon away from you” hugging Reign close, she is not impressed by Leon, he is stood with the balloon she was playing with “I am making you your favorite breakfast, your presents are downstairs. So come down when you’re ready” smiling at my mom “I will” Leon jumped on my bed, Reign started to play with my hand, intrigued by the tattoos “sooo you’re like three years away from thirty, excited?” I chuckled shaking my head “you know damn well I’m not excited about that shit, but so are you. We need to have a big party when we do turn thirty, ok?” Leon nodded his head “a promise, so did you speak to him?” Leon asked, I breathed out “I did, we spoke on Reign and Nalah will be picking her up, so daddy can have you for the weekend. But I said to him you need to let me know, tell me when you can have her. The only reason I said yes to this was because it’s my birthday, but he was like yeah, sure, ok. And then he asked what I am doing for my birthday, I said nothing much, but yeah. She is going New York to him today, I will miss her but I said it will be weekends but not every weekend. And he said I need to send you money, I goes I am not sure, just look after my daughter. Then I just kind of cut the conversation and said I had to go” Leon cringed “awkward conversation then?” Nodding my head “it’s a lot of trust but I want to test it out, I think I need to try it. I said to Nalah, you need to take him shopping and you need to show him what to get, she said she will be there through the weekend with him. But we need to co-parent, the best is that Reign goes to him because it’s hard Leon, I don’t want to see him and talking to him is hard enough because I love him but I’m not thinking of that, it’s my birthday so let’s begin” I am not going to sit here and be miserable.

Smiling at Reign in her booster seat, she is acting like it’s her day “you sharing my birthday baby?” Leon has put a party hat on her, her ears make it even more adorable “I will send him a picture, I think he will appreciate it” unlocking my phone, tapping on my camera and aiming my phone at Reign “princess, hey! Reign, look at mommy” Reign looked at me and I just cooed out “you are so adorable with your party hat” taking the picture and sending it to Maurice “so you both spoke, what did he say?” My mom asked “well” locking my phone and placing it at the side of me “I said that with Reign she can be with you on weekends, not every single one, I said once a month. He kind of was like ok, what are you doing for your birthday, I ignored it and said about Reign, and he’s clueless so I set it up with Nalah, I said you need to set the place up for him but apparently he is not moving anywhere, he is remaining  in the hotel, I don’t know how long for. So, she will be here soon, she will take my beautiful baby girl to see her dad. Honestly mom, I don’t want to see him. I rather it happens that way, so yeah. That is it, he asked about money I am not bothered” my mom sat down, she pulled a face so she is not happy “I don’t really like my grandchild travelling here and there, Reign needs to have both of you at times to be there together. I think, and I may not want that but if they want more rights to see her you will have to go to court and get a set time. I feel like Reign is being dragged around, now she is going to be away from you, it will stress her out. She settles and then she moves, how you think she feels? And now she will barely see her dad, I just think if you are letting her go. This is for next time, maybe he comes here. She is too young, and she needs her mother. You don’t want to see him, but she does so for next time” I guess that is me being told “ok, mom” rolling my eyes.

Reign and Leon are so funny together, like my baby is so clever. She knows when he is hiding stuff from her, I think I adore her ability to want to do things, like she is literally always vocal about everything, sitting up on her own “you need to quit playing her, Reign it’s ok. I can see him, I can see him taking your toys and trying to play you stupid” her eyes all wide staring at me and then Leon “Reign, it’s gone!” look at him hiding her toys behind his back, Reign is staring at his empty hands “I swear you are horrible, give them back to her” Leon held his arms open to her “come to uncle so I can give you snuggles, my little snuggle monster” looking over at the door as there was a knock “is she here already? What!?” Leon spat, I don’t think she is “I will get it” getting up from the couch “she shouldn’t be, you’re not ready to go yet. I want you to spend time with mommy first” unlocking the door, dragging it open “Robyn Willis?” the lady said “uh yeah” seeing a black box in her hand, she held it out to me “for you” she said, I don’t know who this person is “uhm thank you” taking it from her “also this, for you” taking the box from her “bye” she ran off “who was that?” Leon said, closing the door confused as shit “uhm, some woman gave me this, what is this baby” Leon is nosey as fuck, he is walking over to me wanting to know. Placing the box on the table, I am intrigued to see what is in the black box. This box is so fancy, I like it “did you buy it me?” I asked Leon “no bitch, you will get gifts later I will show you” unhooking the lid, pushing back the lid “oh, these a beautiful red roses Robyn” Leon said, these are beautiful. Taking the card that was laid atop of the roses “mhmm, well if I was to take a guess. I think it was your baby father” side eyeing Leon, I mean who else is it. Pulling the card out “the card is simple, just like him” I said as me and Leon laughed, opening the card “Happy Bithday, Pootie” I read out, I breathed out “yes, it was him” closing the card “well that was cute, I mean he could have bought you a car, make it up to you” shaking my head laughing, Reign whined out “you bitching about her dad, she feels it. You know she don’t like it” Reign is getting annoyed; her nap is due.

I left Leon to open the box, Reign is wanting me, and I need to make her bottle “uhm!” I moved my hand away from her, she wants her bottle “baby, it’s hot. Wait” placing the bottle under the cold tap again “oohhh ok, look at this Chanel box Robyn” looking over at Leon, seeing a white rectangle Chanel box “the receipt is in here still oh my god, he bought this himself. So, this perfume, it cost him thirty thousand dollars, fuck off! Fuck off, thirty-thousand-dollar perfume!” Leon screamed out running to me “look at the receipt, please just look” Leon turned the receipt to me “wow” I am impressed “fuck me, I have not known this at all, I need to see it” he rushed back to the table “I think your bottle will be done now baby” turning the tap off “hungry bear, so open it” walking over to the table “it’s leather, the box” he pushed open the box, both sides popped open “that is beautiful, wow. Read me the card, I am going to the couch to feed her” she is annoying me with the whining, she does not like to be hungry this girl “oh yes, I will” walking towards the couch, I didn’t expect anything from him and it was sweet of him, I will say thank you because that is just me. Sitting down on the couch “yes?” I said smiling at her “you’re like mom, you better feed me before I cry my eyes out, I know” Reign gave me a slight smile “so, the card says. He wrote this himself and look” looking over to Leon “happy birthday mom” I read out smiling “cute” I mumbled “it says, To mom, Happy Birthday from Reign Davenport, he got you a gift on behalf of Reign. He put in brackets, left the receipt if you wish to take it back for money” I smirked, I can’t help but smirk “I guess it’s a start” Leon said.

I love to pack extra, like I am extra as fuck, but I kept it minimum. Reign’ little suitcase of things, I packed everything I could for her, now I feel sad. I am glad she is asleep because then her hazel eyes just staring at me, my heart “Nalah called, she said she is running behind and that she can’t really stay and needs to go because of her lateness, she was doing an event here so yeah” my mom poked her lips out to me “don’t” I said “Robyn, you’re a mother, this is different” my mom said, I just rather she say nothing “thank god” Nalah is here so it is time for my baby to go, Leon got the door. We are literally stood waiting “wow, you are all waiting. I am sorry, I got behind. I am sorting his programme out that he created, is she asleep?” nodding my head “please, oh my god. Please look after my baby, I can’t believe I am doing this, I think it will be first and last time, but Leon is doing something for my birthday and Maurice asked but, it’s my daughter. She is my everything, please Nalah. That is my whole heart” Nalah nodded her head “I am not leaving at all; I am staying with him. I promise you; I will be there. I will send you updates; I will also beat Maurice’ ass. I am so angry with him, but he doesn’t like me talking about it at all over the phone. But I promise, I will be there, she is the apple of everyone’s eye. Honestly, my mom and dad are coming over for her. She will be fine, promise” looking in the car seat “I am going to the bathroom, I can’t yeah. Just going” Nalah looked at me dumbfounded “you go, she can’t see her go. I get it, I will help you out” Leon said, I need to go, I know this is something I will probably need to get used too but my heart, that is my baby and I am going to be away from her.

Looking down at my phone, Robyn got her gifts then. Least she said thank you, placing my phone back down “I know you don’t wish to speak to me or whatever, but your publicist has been asking” Ally walked into my office “asking what?” I mumbled “look” Ally said, she placed the paper down on the table, looking down at the paper “unknown source, you and Robyn split. She wants to know how to proceed” moving the paper away from me “tell her to fuck off, don’t say anything. Clearly my family are speaking, they are bitter with me. I shamed my dad, I shamed everyone again because of what happened. Besides, I need you to contact Wade, I want that divorce now” Ally picked the paper from my desk “I will, you are working late?” nodding my head “I have nothing else to do” sitting back in my seat “did anything come back from Tokyo yet? Also, Hilton? Are they going want me to announce it or not?” Ally shrugged “I will get on it, I will be leaving soon Maurice; I think you should too. And the flowers got delivered” she pointed at me, smiling at her lightly taking in a deep breath. You know what, I am upset. I hate the fact I am like this, Kellen is smug, he reached out to me. Here I go again, grabbing the glass and downing the whiskey. One drink does not hurt, I have caught up with my work to be honest, but I need to just file some things for Dubai. My dad doesn’t think I need to the company now, I have been let loose and I will fuck up. I am just missing Robyn so much, I miss her vibrant aura and she won’t tell me if she is doing anything nice for her birthday, everyone is laughing at me and I hate it.

It is so annoying, like the family are angry at me because my wedding didn’t happen, how does that even happen, I should be upset. And now I have that home in New York, I do not even use because I honestly prefer living in a hotel, everything is cleaned for me. I refuse to also put it back on the market because then it just looks more like we have broken up, now it looks all up in the air. Seeing my phone ring, it’s my mother so I better answer. Answering the call “yes mom?” I wonder what wonderful information she has now “Kellen has had a son; he was just born. He is a little ill but according to your uncle looks just like his father” I groaned out “why are you telling me this? Doesn’t make him anything important right? He’s a nobody like his father” I am being irrational “they are naming the child Royal Davenport” I blew out air “I will send flowers to the Royal idiot, imagine being that dumb” I am being very hateful “Maurice, stop it. Be happy for them, it’s nice that the new generation of Davenport is continuing our legacy, when Reign gets married that surname will change” I sniggered “not on my watch, like I don’t care. Kellen can fuck off, trying to throw his perfect little life to me, you know what mom. I won’t get him flowers, fuck him” I am annoyed “you will send them, I have told you now” rolling my eyes “sure” disconnecting the call “fuck Kellen, his bitch ass. How can two weirdos that cheat on each other still be together, but yet I can’t flirt. I flirt and I am thrown to the curb! Damn!” slamming my hand on the desk with my phone in hand “ouch!” my damn hand, I sighed out “wow Maurice, I expected you to be in your suite but you’re here” holding my hand looking up, my face softened “Reign? Oh, I forgot. I forgot she was coming” closing my laptop, I winced in pain at my hand “what was that all about? Uh, wait there” walking around my desk “no, you wait there. What was that? Who was you talking too?” Reign is awake, she looks so sad “nobody, just mom getting me angry. Mi Amor, Reign. My baby” Nalah is here trying to hide her from me “first of all, you forgot she was coming. I text you dumbass, she is not happy” it totally slipped my mind “aww Mi Amor, come here” taking Reign from Nalah “I missed you so much, yes I did. Awww you all emotional, I know. It’s emotional times for us both baby, it’s ok you with me now” walking off with her, she is on edge right now. She is between wanting to cry but is also ok “it’s ok, te amo mucho bebe” pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“You remember this place don’t you, daddy can’t be bothered to dress you so you can stay like this. And yes, daddy has finally shaved, was that it? With your fat arms” Reign is holding onto my tee stood up at the side of me, she got strong ass legs, but the TV got her attention “you just going to let her roam free in just her diaper?” Nalah asked “yeah, she is happy this way. I think she don’t like the fact I did shave; she probably misses it. This is the best day ever! It’s Reign’ weekend, yay!” Reign looked at me “daddy weekend with you, you happy yeah, huh?” wrapping my arm around her and bringing her into me pressing a kiss to the side of her face “it’s also Nalah’ weekend with you, don’t forget. I am babysitting you on top of that” I didn’t know she was “why? I am grown, I don’t need you” Nalah I laughed “grown, says the nigga that can’t keep a relationship down. You did all this work for what? You ran around just for your dumbass to wait, let me just say this. You ruined your little family for a quick flirt? Like how dumb is that, do you feel clever? Maurice you ruined Reign’ home more then anything, how could you?” this is why I didn’t want Nalah here “Robyn did, she left me. She couldn’t take it, I wasn’t doing no wrong! I love her!” I spat “then when she is flirting, she is doing no wrong either! I told Leon to make sure she has a good time, when she is flirting, she is doing no wrong ok?” Nalah is a bitch “now that is malicious, fuck you Nalah. How is that even normal? You’re my sister” who side is she on “because you hurt that girl Maurice, dad wants to murder you but then I told him Reign is here so he is content but what do you want? Do you want her to accept it?” shaking my head “I just want her to be confident in herself, like I get it. I fucked up but she didn’t need to leave me, I can change” Nalah laughed “just like your healthy change huh? Still smoking with a side of drinking. Please explain to me, what do you want?” Nalah asked “I want to be with Robyn, I got my faults and inside I feel empty, lonely. Reign is the only one to bring some light to it but I am so empty that not even the most beautiful girl could make me happy, I pushed it and I realise I was being selfish and I miss Robyn like mad Nalah, I do” I got teary eyed “she cared for me and when I speak to her on the phone, there is so much distance, I am not sure about these child payment business. I transferred her about ten thousand, I think that may be less then I should with what I am worth” I shrugged “well you only have yourself to blame, you should be thankful she is sweet enough to be like this with you with Reign. If that was me, court for you! And I wouldn’t marry your ass either, do I think you will get her back? Mhmm probably not because she deserves better” Nalah is so rude to me “thanks” I said in whisper.

what i read in april

in which i read two (!!) 5-star-adjacent books and also defeat my nemesis thomas mann 

the paper menagerie & other stories, ken liu

impressive collection of (mostly) scifi short stories with some fantasy elements. liu is particularly interested in historical/collective memory, historiography, textmaking and textuality, and the importance of stories. my favourites were the bittersweet title story (feat. living origami animals), an alternative history story about the construction of an underground tunnel between japan and america, and the last story, in which time travel becomes tied to politics of remembrance. some stories are not as strong, especially an honestly boring take on AI/voice assistants/surveillance, but overall these are really good, especially in how they approach SFF from asian perspectives. 3.5/5

der zauberberg/the magic mountain, by my nemesis thomas mann THE EVIL IS DEFEATED!!! after 1.5 months i finally finished the magic mountain & honestly.... i really liked it. literally all that happens is that a sweet young fool called hans castorp goes to a mountain sanatorium in switzerland to visit his cousin for three weeks and then.... just stays there for 7 years even tho he ISN’T REALLY ILL (which is both incredible dumbassery & incredibly relatable). up there he hangs out with a lot of people, has lots of conversations about politics & philosophy, falls in love w/ someone, some people die, some people leave, hans takes up skiing, everyone becomes obsessed with seances & psychoanalysis & whatever else for a time, there’s duels, and most of all, thomas mann is like HEY TIME IS WEIRD AM I RIGHT??? and it is! it is pretty weird. things i didn’t expect: a) it’s honestly pretty funny, b) i had several feelings (’als soldat und brav’), c) i kind of knew what the ending was going to be but still i was. distraught. ANYWAY. sometimes.... books that are classics.... are really quite good. 4/5

city of dragons + blood of dragons (rain wild chronicles #3-4), robin hobb i really enjoyed this series even tho i think these two are not as strong as #1-2. the central characters & relationship dynamics are great, i was happy to see malta back, and i loved the new plot points here (trader conflicts! hest coming to the rain wilds! most of all, chassim and the chalcedean women’s liberation front!!!) BUT i think all of these could have done with a bit more space; it all feels crammed together at the end & not really satisfying. 3.5/5 for both these books, series rating 4/5 

the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy, douglas adams like, it’s funny. maybe i was not in the mood, but funny doesn’t carry a book. 2.5/5

remembering babylon, david malouf (uni) this book is really good but it is also exactly the kind of book you read in a seminar on postcolonialism, which is what i’m doing. it’s set in a small australian settlement in the mid-19th century, where one day a strange man appears who looks like a “savage” but claims to be a ‘british object’. it turns out that he was marooned as a child and joined a native community, and his presence and strange liminal status (’the white black man’) disturb the entire community. it’s all about questions of assimilation, indigeneity, whiteness, and who owns the land, and it’s very very good, well-written, evocative of the australian landscape, dreamy and i’m probably gonna write my paper on it & end up resenting it a lil bit. 4/5

a canticle for leibowitz, walter miller jr. post-apocalyptic monks in the desert preserving knowledge!!! i ADORED the first two parts of this with all my heart (the first set 600 years after the nuclear apocalypse in a new “dark age”, showing the canonization of leibowitz, engineer-turned-protector-of-knowledge; the second 600 years later again, when during the “renaissance”, conflicts arise between church and secular scientists), the third part (a new nuclear/space age w/ mutual destruction threatening) i liked less, especially when it abandoned the themes of cyclical history, the danger knowledge presents to humanity but also its value, and the process of science and culture rebuilding itself from the atomic ashes for a digression on euthanasia, but i still loved a lot about it, particularly the monks sent to human colonies on other planets (”remember this earth... never forget her - but never come back” made me cry). it is very steeped in catholicism (obvi) which i don’t have much of a connection with but i actually loved how the book talked about religion. on the whole, i genuinely, genuinely loved this, loved francis illuminating a blueprint for 17 years, loved benjamin/lazarus (?), the apocalypse being reframed in biblical terms, loved the melancholy & despair over humanity destroying itself again and again, and the mad mad tiny hope for peace somewhere, some time. i will read this again for sure. 4.5/5 

machandel, regina scheer perfectly fine multi-perspective novel about 20th century (east) german history, all revolving around the small village machandel (a lower german word for the juniper tree). it incorporates some interesting perspectives/topics you don’t necessarily see a lot (forced laborers from eastern europe, euthanasia programs during the third reich, a sympathetic look at the promises & failures of the gdr) and it’s a pleasant read but it didn’t resonate with me in any special way. i’m more interested in scheer’s new book, which is literally set right around the corner from me. 3/5 

wild seed, octavia e. butler sooo this is a afrofuturist-y science....fantasy (??) book about two immortal beings, doro (spirit possessing bodies) and anyanwu (healer & shapeshifter) & their complicated relationship over about 200 years. also involving a magical selective breeding programm, changing your gender, slavery of different kinds and a whole lot of babymaking. it’s interesting&unique&very immersive, but not really octavia e. butler at her best imo. i think my next butler will be xenogenesis. 3/5

kokoro, natsume soseki early 20th century japanese classic about a young student and his mysterious mentor. very quiet and slow but still a good read. don’t have much to say about it tho - i’m probably missing a lot of cultural context. 2.5/5

the merchant of venice, willy shakes (uni) tbh i skimmed most of the scenes shylock wasn’t in bc in this house we stan shylock & no one else, but also like why would anyone sign away a literal pound of their literal flesh as a bond for money you don’t EVEN NEED fuck you antonio. 

shylock is my name, howard jacobson (uni) the hogarth retelling of merchant. i’ve read this before & thought it was clever & sharp re: the play & shylock, but ultimately sexist & gross. i still kind of think that but i liked it A LOT more this time around; it’s really the best of the hogarth series (that i’ve read) in terms of actually engaging with & deconstructing the play rather than just retelling it in a modern setting and it does it in a really smart & thoughtful way. everything not about shylock is ridiculous and farcical but that’s really the point - all the characters beside shylock are the worst and already were the worst in merchant. still not happy about the sexism but: 4/5

the complete maus, art spiegelman honestly it really just is that staggeringly good and given the amazing panels about beckett (x), i’m not going to say much more. if you’re interested in the graphic novel (not really novel bc it’s not fictional) and can deal with the subject matter, just like. read this. predictably, my favourite part was the beginning of maus ii, where art (post-publication of maus I) reflects on what he was doing and why (and why mice) and deconstructing the central conceit from within (see the panel linked, where everyone’s wearing animal masks and he wonders whether mentioning housepets will ruin everything). 5/5

many highlights from The Stolen Century from a first-time TAZ listener (here there be spoilers)

oh hot damn a flashbacks episode!!!!!

“everything begins, and i mean that quite literally, with the light of creation”

the IPRE has some real nostalgic space exploration nasa vibes to it

travis: “i would like to state that, canonically, magnus calls him “cap’nport” because magnus, like I, loves portmanteau”

suggested names for the ship boat thing: boaty mcboatface, spinnaker (which just means boat), stinky spinnaker, laser spinnaker, hyper spinnaker, flying boat, tail spinnaker, fighting spinnaker, lightbringer, sky spinnaker, sky boat, sky weaver, star dancer, starblaster! the winner! starblaster!

the way they arrived at “starblaster” was such peak mcelroy Creative Nonsense

the reporters at this IPRE press conference have had increasingly silly names

justin: “taako and lup go to a bar and do what they always do at a bar, which is hustle people at pool” i love them so much! i didn’t love taako all that much for the majority of this story but now i think he’s cool as shit

I’m so SO SO SO SO SO EXCITED for lup to be a part of this and be a real character and not just a fucking GHOST haunting taako’s umbrella

magnus wants to go train with the bear of power and that’s the most on-brand thing for him to possibly want to do

travis: “magnus doesn’t kill animals if he can help it” not animals, but of course he has no problem killing dwarves, elves, liches, wizards, ya know, all those PEOPLE he’s killed

justin: “taako and lup are gonzo, they're out of here" magnus: “i’m like checking on bear cubs and making sure everyone's okay" merle: “im like increasing everybody’s speed with spells’ very on brand of everybody here

travis: “okay griffin i have a very important question that i should have asked before-” griffin: “is about your fucking hard candy supply?”

the entire set up of this arc is so fun and good 

justin: “yeah i've got a fucking genius plan and I'm gonna fix everything! come close, griffin, because I'm about to blow your game wide open. I’m going to make a fake light of creation. I’m gonna spend this year like a survivor contestant on their last legs, crafting a false hidden immunity idol. I’m going to craft, to the best of my ability, a fake light of creation. a decoy, if you will!” THIS IS GENIUS

taako: “okay, that’s all well and good but lup and i are going scrapping. this is the most civilized- this is the most technologically advanced place that we’ve been to yet, and I wanna load the ship up with all the valuable mechanical components I can find, so I’m going fucking looting, I’m gonna destroy as many robots as it takes, I’m gonna take these motherfuckers apart piecemeal, so I can take whatever cool magic is powering them. I’m going to loot this motherfucker to brass tacks, I’m gonna just loot and pillage” merle: “burnt earth” taako: “yes exactly”

lup: “i believe one of these times we’re going to get this right. and we’re going to find a way to defeat the hunger and save everybody inside of it. I have to believe that to keep doing what we do, becasue I have to believe that I’m going to get those 15 dollars back from greg fucking grimmaldis” lup is as cool and funny and DOPE as I was hoping she would be

one of these eps, they just kicked it on a beach for 35 minutes and were shitheads about merle’s attempt at gifts. the literal goddamn definition of a bottle episode. im only like 75% sure davenport was even in this fucking episode

travis has named magnus’s fish, magnus’s father-in-law, a rando reporter at the IPRE press conference, and a kid at one of the stolen century planets “steven”. all of those people/fish are called steven, because apparently travis has a thing for that name

clint just called lucretia “lucinda”

well now i understand why merle’s died 50 million times

taako: “i got bad news for everybody. our arch-nemesis is MORRISSEY”

magnus gets excited to learn to carve wood bc its something he could do with knives and weapons and shit and im like oh THATS the most magnus thing he could possibly do!!!

hey cool so barry and lup’s adorable love OWNS MY ASS

that was the sweetest falling-in-love story ive ever heard and it was like 5 fucking minutes. @ fanfiction writers throw all your barry/lup friends-to-lovers fics directly at my head PLEASE

davenport: “lup can you blow it up?" lup: "can i...blow up a mountain?....well, YEAH! but lets save that for a last resort" the legato conservatory person: “i'm going to firmly request that you don’t blow up our sacred mountain”

taako: “hey I’m taako, from TV” griffin: “uh okay-” justin: “what?” griffin: “you haven’t been on tv yet” clint: “it’s aspirational” justin: “yeah, its aspirational. hey I’m taako from TV. you’re all pretty wanged. you’re pretty fucked. there’s good news and bad news, and the bad news I’ve already covered, with the fucked-ness that you are”

jesus, shit got DARK

oh my god the voidfish that magnus saved in the stolen century is the same one on the bureau of balance base. that’s some heart-tingly shit. that’s that GOOD STORY SHIT

griffin: “your adventures in the back half of these cycles are more fraught than the first half” OH IM SORRY? MORE FRAUGHT??? REALLY, GRIFFY?

griffin’s judge character dude: "magnus, you have fought with others your entire life, throughout your adolescence you celebrated strife. i didn't mean to make that rhyme"

one of the future crimes accused of the IPRE crew is “cruelty to a child who loves them” and im like oh. maybe i shouldnt have wanted somebody to call them out on being mean to sweet ango

oh man i wanna hug lucretia so bad and take care of her and make sure she’s okay

griffin: “she wouldn’t go on to found the bureau of balance for decades, but this horrible lonely year, that’s when she became Madame Director” okay, yep, i love her, and i just remembered i was worried for SO LONG that she was hoarding the relics for her own gain and jesus christ IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT THAT, EVERYBODY, I REGRET IT SO BAD

magnus reading fisher the voidfish a story more like GREAT JOY AND HAPPINESS

justin: “taako like walks by [the voidfish] and you just hear him shout ‘give him the complete works of nathaniel hawthorne next!” griffin: “YOU FUCKING HATE THAT GUY!” justin: “fuck that guy” clint: “what do you have against nathaniel hawthorne???” justin: “he is the worst writer and everybody has to read him and it makes kids HATE reading” clint: “last of the mohicans???” justin: “thats- not him, thats james fenimore cooper” griffin: “BOO-YAH!!! [singing] take him toooo schoool” justin: “yall i know the name of TWO authors from that time period, and he did the ONE pull, that’s gonna sound so fucking smart” oh man maybe I really need to reevaluate my ranking of Favorite Mcelroys, justin just reached for the Deepest Cut To Make Me Love Him

magnus: “i don’t find anything useful in this library, so let that be a lesson, kids, you’ll never find anything useful reading books” yeah take that, you punk ass book jockeys

griffin: “I base it on just how much i like the scene, right? so take plus two bond” whoa what GRIFFY DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A SYSTEM FOR THIS SHIT?? HE’S JUST HANDING OUT BONDS AND ASSETS WILLY NILLY????

magnus: “oh, could i have been learning magic instead of feeding books to my buddy?” griffin: “your scene was really good though” magnus: “oh man i could have become a wizard” yeah and break the continuity of THE ENTIRE GODDAMN SHOW

this Lup and Taako’s Greatest Day chaotic destruction is the most fun shit that’s happened in this show

taako: “I pull off her blindfold to reveal this planet’s ONLY DMV. there’s one DMV on the entire planet” this planet has no people and no animals and no living anything besides the 7 ipre crew and yet there’s a DMV leftover from whatever civilization used to be here. UH UH UH SURE JUSTIN

jesus christ i can’t believe lup’s lich form dabbed in the goddamn middle of this ritual

travis: “griffin, i know this wasn't in the instructions you sent us, but I want to make a lightsaber, can I do that?" griffin: "absolutely not!"

the KrebStar is a dope name

griffin: "so like a lotta bear stuff, then, huh?" travis: "look im leaning into it"

travis: “I’m going to name the helmet BearFace- ya know, naming stuff isn’t magnus’s strong suit- and I’m going to call the pendant 2th Necklace”

griffin: “and she’s holding an umbrella” justin: “fuck you” THIS MOMENT IS SOOO GOOD

justin: "I think i speak for the rest of us, and like the entire audience, when i say I cannot wait to see what these fucking 7 items are"

“that was the last conversation you had with your sister” hey griffin. fuck you

“not all exits are equal” HEY GRIFFIN. REALLY REALLY FUCK YOU

oh man lucretia. i can’t believe you did that to everybody. man that’s. that’s rough

this is heartbreaking holy shit. barry begging his bestfriend TO KILL HIM so he won’t forget the love of his life is SOME GUTWRENCHING SHIT HOLY SHIT

this is a really amazing story and I’m so impressed with the way it evolved from a goofy mcelroy joke podcast into such an amazing compelling story