#which..............
Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”
The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”
Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”
Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”
Me: “Oh….well…thanks”
Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”
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never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
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A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.
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adhd will have you fighting for your life to do beloved hobbies that bring you nothing but joy
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Knowledge Revenge.
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trains will announce you're stopping in places you never knew existed
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i hate when people call marcille a girlfailure btw like SHE ISNT. and shes not a ”girlboss” either. this is a neurotic and Permanently On The Edge of a Breakdown overachiever late 20s virgin just out of her phd program with permanently shaky hands from an addiction to overly sugary coffee and a deep desire to be crushed to death under falins giant jugs no matter the cost. the only thing shes ever ”failed” at is going to theraphy
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when in fics they say two characters gave each other a look this is always what i envision in my head
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ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be
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clicker training but its just a single piano key that makes you sad
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Alright now this pissed me off
What do you MEAN you're going to remove one of the most important aspects of Sokka's character arc in the first season? What do you MEAN you're going to remove Sokka unlearning misogyny, accepting change and embracing his role as a fighter and protector of the Avatar in order to end the war? What do you MEAN???
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If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)
At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.
Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.
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enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to
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fugking love it here!!!!!!!!!
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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.
I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.
One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.
The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?
The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”
I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.
It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.
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