one of the reasons why i was upset after volume 2 wasn't even because i wanted will to come out or thought it would've made more sense for him than what we got it was because i wanted it to be clearer that he's gay because now people are still saying he isn't actually gay in the show which i knew was gonna happen and is just...so upsetting to me...

I feel more and more like this portrayal of extreme violence against women and also the idea that people in the middle ages were dumb/didn't know what they were doing (of which imo horrific childbirth gore is an example--I know it happened but also it still does!) is very much in line with the idea that history is an always linear progression upwards (dumb to smart, no human rights to many of them you get the drill) so in a way these "realistic" depictions make sense to most people probably because they assume that whatever is happening to women now, it must have been Worse for them back then, and because they're aware women didn't have too many rights until recently (a d even that is debatable) that has only ever been worse in the past too unless they were Joan of Arc

And this is why primary and secondary school history education needs a complete overhaul

*same anon, I just wanted to add to the linear history thing real quick. It also writes off the men as idiots who don't know morals, and humanity in general as stupid, rather than a complex evolved system of thinking which simply is different from contemporary white western civilisation. It just... Feels a lot like the way colonialists looked at the people they called savages.

I mean, yeah. I've written (and ranted) extensively about all of this in the past (as I said, this whole conversation is like being dead-fish-slapped in the face with approximately-2014 Tumblr). I have too many posts on this subject to possibly link and/or remember them all, but my medieval history and women in history tags both come to mind as places where some of that stuff can be found.

Also, either the makers of HOTD or the people writing the Hollywood Reporter article actually used the overturn of Roe v. Wade as a "reason" for it being "important" for the show to depict the "fact!!!" that premodern women "often" died in childbirth (one of the showrunners even came out with some imaginary-but-weirdly-specific statistic about it being a "50-50 chance" for a woman to survive giving birth. Thanks for that, Noted Medieval History Expert, Guy Who Makes Television Shows For HBO!) And like... does any woman in America right now think that what they really need is some mediocre-white-man entertainment executive making a high-budget infomercial about why childbirth is dangerous? Like they suddenly discovered that fact three seconds ago and are like ZOMGZ MORE PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THIS? When the possibility of women dying in preventable ways due to pregnancy complications has once more become a grim reality, like... we also really need to see this in entertainment now? Because something something realism!!!?

Either way, the overturn of Roe alone should put paid to any serious attempt to argue that things have only gotten "better" for women throughout history, have never gotten worse, and that "human rights" only proceed forward on a chronologically based idea of liberal morality. If the "progress" of history is real, why do we have a literal fascist movement in America that is mouthing all the old and supposedly discredited tenets of fascist thought? Why is that happening again, if we learned back in the 1940s that racist nationalist fascism was bad, fought a pretty major war over it, and then supposedly moved past it for good? Etc etc. People create social attitudes and legal rules according to what they find useful at the time and in response to their needs and fears. As I have said, they also don't live long enough to have any real historical memory or sense of just repeating what has been done in the past, because a) they don't learn history, b) they don't believe it, and c) it hasn't happened to them, they treat history as only the parts of it that they like and which support their point of view, and therefore just go around and around in circles and never actually learn their lesson. Blah.

Anyway, conservatives and the alt-right like the idea that there was supposedly a time when women "knew their place" and weren't treated like people and had no rights and only existed to please their menfolk and Serve God, because that lends "weight" to their attempt to do the exact same thing right now. Liberals like the idea that the Past Was Always Bad For Women because it implies that modern liberalism happily solved that problem and provides them with endless ways to disparagingly call the fascists "medieval," which isn't helpful either and distracts from how modernity has developed and nurtured these toxic ideas for its own purposes. So. Yeah.

oh, three? that's pretty young. he can talk? sorry, i don't know how babies work. that's sad. maybe try not taking their candy next time. it is?? wow. that sounds like a really cool name. either ash or asher works.

so do i. of course they aren't. you believe in magic too, huh? they don't exist. i'm sure of it. if we don't anything about other galaxies, how do you know they're real? uh huh.

question. do you prefer mr or ms? or mx? i need to know which one so i can mock you. :)

even strangers. once i saw this really cool person at hot topic with a pretty dress (i think?) or something. i still remember them. never had a stranger compliment me. do i? i always try to act like i have the biggest dick in town. don't think it's working very well.

maybe not. but you're still a good person.

no darling, i'm skilled. it's a talent. i lie about everything for no reason. i don't know why. i'm used to it, though. i think i'm very fake, i have about 30 different personalities

you're a hopeless romantic. no denying it, love. at least you're self aware. give me one movie that's good and sappy. i've never heard of one.

you should give me yours too, y'know. only fair, right? only joking. most are.. weird. i don't know. i swear what i listen to are better than my playlists. you should listen to 'lover is a day' by cuco. it's really good. if you haven't already.

i don't have much coffee. i've never gotten into it. don't go insane with the caffeine, v. have you ever drank monster? do you have a favorite flavor?

thank you. i haven't heard that in a while. seriously, verity. means a lot. i'm glad! do you go in person, or what? i've never really known how therapy works n stuff.

school isn't too bad for me. the only negative bit was a practice quiz. i filled in half of the questions, and got all but 2 wrong. it's okay. i guess. on monday we'll take the same quiz, but i don't wanna get it wrong. it's easy too! i'll study, i just suck at memorizing stuff. continents and oceans, match them and blah blah. probably 4th grade stuff but i'm still bad at it. even if i do bad on monday, it wouldn't make me dumb. right?

sorry for responding late. i went to sleep at like 11 pm yesterday, i was tired. got good rest?

ahh, okay. yes, that makes sense. enjoy the weekend!! hope you feel better now? relax, love. take it easy and do whatever you enjoy the most. right now, i hope you're feeling refreshed and nice. new day, new start. agh, sorry. i don't know what to say. but today will be different, good, hopefully.

(i said hope a lot, huh?)

did you? it's not long at all, but you finished it in a day? i'm glad you liked it! it also has a nice cover. i think my english teacher has another book from mitch albom, so i'll ask about it once i finish twilight. also. i'll read more of it today!

— 🐢

most kids start actually talking from anywhere from 9ish months to 2 years. but, obviously, they can make noise before that. i started talking pretty early as i’m told. he talks extremely well. pfft. i give him candy, if anything. i just don’t see him enough.

it is pretty cool, annoying in school though. ash or asher, got it.

not magic. i wish. honestly, humans can’t be the only living things in the universe. think of how many species are just on earth.

any and all. though i don’t prefer the mocking (yes i do).

technically i’m a stranger, and i think you’re amazing. so there. it’s working very well, i assure you.

have you ever told me a lie? i won’t be offended if you have. you’re not fake if you know that you lie, and if you think you are? clearly, you’re very real.

um, 2005 pride and prejudice. crimson peak. 50 first dates. literally dr strange. the loki series?? they’re all sappy, they’re all good. do you have a favorite movie btw? we’ve discussed shows, but not movies.

i don’t actually use spotify a lot. but maybe i’ll make a playlist and then give you it. it’ll be embarrassingly sappy, i assure you. i like your playlists! i listened to some of them while i finished cleaning last night.

ahahaha i am a caffeine monster. literally. i got absolutely insane with caffeine and then i crash. so i don’t have it too much, don’t want to become addicted and all that. but coffee is the love of my life, anyway. umm i’ve tried a tangy one? i think that’s a flavor? usually i just drink the ones my friend leaves behind. what’s your favorite flavor, maybe i’ll try it.

i used to go fully in person but then covid happened and we switched to online for a while. i go most times now, but sometimes online if my schedule is difficult. if you’ve ever seen therapy in a movie, it’s pretty similar. honestly just more down to earth, less dramatic. at least, for me.

quizzes are literal hell. i hate them, i hate tests. and i’m really bad at taking both. geography sucks, i don’t know anything about it. just that. well. there are seven continents (right?) of course it wouldn’t make you look dumb. you’re very smart.

glad you went to bed then. i slept strangely, and woke up early. i’ll probably sleep more tonight.

went to the store today. bought another blanket (i had four on my bed) and then i have an eye appointment soon. so, better. i do best when i’m busy. which is why i clean so much.

i read really fast. too fast. yes they seem like a really good writer. i’ll look for some more in the library. enjoy twilight!

-v

I: something SZ said: remember when you "called me pain in the ass" you turned around and were working on table top of a colleague who sits next to me........ and why i enjoyed it because...... you turned around and i had a good view

NF: oh geez! Is this just the way it is there, that guys comment on women's looks and make sexy references. For women that aren't appropriate for them? I'm being stupid I suppose. I read that it happens all the time here. I just don't see it myself.

I: its my fault when it's SZ. i flirted with him first. i said I’d like to spank him. so i cannot show him the moral code book. well, i know he should have one as he's married n also has 2 kids!!. but i think thats just how men are

NF: You are allowed to change the way you relate.

I: i was telling Kaalu about SZ's comments and what he says. a few of them that i remember, n she just got married in february n she is worried if her husband will turn out to be like these men in his end 30's. Change the way you relate?

NF: If you want to, you can change your relating to SZ to not be flirting. You don't have to make it a moral thing. Just ... I don't want to relate this way anymore.

I: i know i can. i will if i get bored

NF: Are you enjoying that you can have that kind of effect on a guy? Putting aside the downsides to it for the moment.

I: i think i always enjoyed having this kind of effect on a guy. now the difference is that first they were college boys/guys, now they're married men. he asked me out on a long drive

NF: hee hee, ask him to bring his wife and kids along

I: and i told him "on a serious note, it's all fine till its jsut verbal. i wouldnt want to sabotage your marriage. so i cant see you outside office". n he agreed. he said okay

NF: wow, that's great

I: but he still talks about things like "i am coming back tomorrow so can u come pick me up at the airport?" i think he's just flirting now. he doesnt really want me to come. i think i've learnt where to draw the line now. earlier, if they said things like "send me a pic of u before u sleep, i want to c u. if u dont, you're dead. ill never speak to u etc etc" Atul too said something like this. n earleir, i wud sned a pic back. just my face. nothing sexual or sexting type. now? i dont send if i dont want to send i draw the line. because back then, i had low self esteem n i felt i need them more than they needing me n now ive come so far that ive realized that they need me. i dont need them/ so if they stop, i wont care.

NF: *hug*

I: this is what he's saying now. i know that this is how he is. he's not making it up:

wait but before that, i sent him this: Well, the spanking thing.. i just said it the spur of the moment. What else do you with an ass? the most obvious thing is spank it, baby! And well, Ladies first is for to check their ass out so. Put two and two together! I know the spanking thing was too much.

so he said: no .... thats where you go wrong..... the thing is i want you to be open with me..... to be able to do/talk anything you want with me (but with love.... not anger)..... the thing is i have chivalry... i have manners..... so when you start speaking that language i start speaking too.... till then i wouldnt .... remember i sent you jokes..... but only after you send me that "cake my nephew made from egg shells" which you know looked like what..... i sent adult jokes.... A true story.... while i was doing my MBA... i had asked a girl out for dinner (becasue i was bored of eating in canteen and needed company) nothing else..... after dinner she wanted to walked a little..... so i walked.... she started personal question ... i answered... she then asked me "have i kissed a girl" and i was like ofcourse...... but i still didnt get the hint.... after may be 5-6 hints.... i still didnt do it ... finally she had to tell me .... "kiss me" ..... and then it happened..... so if you want to know the real me ...... you would have to reveal real you.. another true story (but funny) once i was in a conference in philippines.. was put up at hilton.... was neatly dressed ..... suit and all.... cleaned shaven ... and i entered the lift... there was this european girl .... from Estonia... we started talking boring conference blah blah ... had good small conversation.... lift reached lobby..... and she asked me "coffee" i was so dumb ... that i told her .... "the coffee shop is that way" its only when my colleague in lobby asked me "Badi goriyon se baatein ho rahi hai.... what were you talking" thats when i realised it was she asking me out for coffee..... i still regret that moment... but now i always smile at that thought .

he really wants to know me. figure me out!

NF: I hope you do work out a good way to be friends with him.

I: we r friends. when i was in college, i used to only find guys who i can flirt with. have a fling with. theyre disposable. as i've grown up. After Andy i changed. n now i may flirt with them, but i maintain the friendship too

NF: I'm glad you're smart

I: i have learnt to balance it out now. did i tell u i used to flirt with BB too?? when we became friends, after the first year i flirted with him.i dont remember he flirting back. but i remember he had said one thing. that he would never do it with me. i would never be like the other girls are for him. i would never be just a fling for him, even if i flirted with him. n i flirted, because i never took him seriously. he was just some cute guy i talked to. i didnt care if he stayed or left or died, back then i was 19 years old

NF: I think lots of girls do, just to test out their power

I: i do that now. back then, i did it because i was bored.