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glitteryhottubavenue · 6 years

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With a name like that

who knows what kind of people will be drawn to it

what’s in a name

nope.

I cross my legs alot. I think to keep myself warm but also I’ve been trying to notice it more and then I’ll put my legs on the ground in a manspread kind of way. I hope I hold correct posture.

What is it about the energy between two people. Why can’t I control my face?

I am working on being present in the moment but for the moment I am working presently. hmmm that can be worked on

writing without a censor is hard

I kind of want to write about my day and then it comes out all different than what I had intended. Like do I keep typos? do I not have to follow proper sentence form and structure or even a coherent thought halfway through

can I just write the same thing

Can I just Write the Same Thing

I guess not

I like the power of threes. I wish I was more assured about what I knew about how to create theatre. Like can I write a book about what I’ve learned about story telling from a sound designers point of view.

I guess I could. That would be interesting. To about.00002% of the American population but hey at least it would be relevant.

I have a tattoo from a tennessee williams festival

I also have a tattoo from a split second decision that is a comedy and tradgedy masks, sock and buskin, but with pumpkins as faces. It’s my first colored tattoo and I’m pretty proud of it. It’s cute and makes me laugh.

When I think about how I was raised on Pokemon it is no wonder that I like to travel. Although are my shows like collecting pokemon or is it like the knowledge is pokemon and my shows are the battles that get me to higher levels.

I guess that’s how life works.

William Burroughs and the cut up method constantly tickle my brain. What did he actually get famous for and where did his money come from?

self edititng self edititing self editing editing

just keep writing until the spell check doesn’t correct you and then you know you’ll have passed

my brain is being funny tonight I guess it’s a funny night

It has been a pretty good day overall though. I felt the most confident practicing with JJ and saying hey. I don’t know why I have to keep them at an arms length though. It’s like they have too much attention or affection or just doting presence that I’m like dude just chill and thank you I like hanging with you too but yikes I’m not ready for that much. And it’s not to say that I don’t appreciate them because I do and I recognize and honor that they have been an integral part of me growing as an artist but if I’m honest with myself I have to take them in doses. Today felt nice though.

The show felt better. I feel like I can do this. I WILL DO THIS FUCK THAT I WILL DO THIS AND IT WILL ROCK!!!

I mean if the actors keep giving me the material to work with then I will gladly take what their character thinks. My design it to grow with the show. Being present is helping I feel it. I would like to womanifest a fantastic show and the confidence, strength, stamina, will power, and humor with which to execute the piece. I can do this I can do this I can do this.

And I can womanifest a career in animation. I would really like to voice and write possibly for an animation. And get my shit together musically. I can do this I can do this. I at least have the opportunity with JJ, and the show. I’m excited but something else is telling me to keep pushing for more. I mean I’ve made it to the next level and now need to work for a hot second where I’m at if I want to continue to grow with it. I should probably pick up the Artists way again especially if I keep writing the daily pages. I should set aside time in the morning to do this because it does feel like at the very least good for exercising my hands, vocabulary, spelling, and recount of the day.

go get em go get em go get em go get him geit gemti gemigemitem

trying out beats on a keyboard is fun.

I NEED TO MEMORIZE A BEAT FROM A PLASTIC DRUM AND INCORPORATE IT INTO THE SHOW SOMEHOW

Guitar?

He sings, can he give me an example of his work?

What has he sung?

Has he gotten back to me?

What is his style like I wonder.

I guess I’ll find out.

And I shouldn’t act defeated when we first meet. He doesn’t know me so I can be full of tricks to him. Lets have an initial convo about where we are musically and then figure out the best solution as to how we pair this. Take his lead. Your major ideas are, finding a beat for him, using plastic gallon drums, sax (but need to source so don’t count on it, michael suggested harmonica but that is definetely not a sound that I heard in NOLA so I don’t think that would be good.) My friend has a pocket trumpet I could maybe borrow would When the saints be a good number to play I wonder. I should ask J anyway if he wouldn’t mind letting me borrow it. to see if I could at least try to learn it. I manifest the trumpet from J.

Everyone in my life is named J ok

once twice three times a lady

frice fifece sice times a man

what?

there has been a lot of discussion about the gender movement. I had to respell that 3 times. HMMM gender queer

what the fuck does that even mean

Why do I feel like being detached made me lose some level of understanding the details of things.

Maybe most of my memory exists in my muscles. Too many years of field hockey practice. At least I was a goalie and got to stand up

God damn those days. What fucking Days

Shit

Speaking of, I threw up my entire guts over the course of 8 hours just 4 days ago and now I feel better so I hope that lasts but what the fuck menstrual cycle.

What.the.actual.fuck.

Does that happen as you grow older or does it just happen to people when they’re dehydrated.

Ok why haven’t the transmen raised any kind of fuss about men with periods.

Why aren’t the transmen held up as much as trasnwomen. I mean all politics aside I feel like I can rattle off the name of 3 trasnwomen that are household names but only because I’ve been deep in lgbt culture especially in womyn’s culture I can think of names of transmen. I guess entertainment and mainstream isnt everything but I think about it because I can’t seem to decide if I want to go ahead and move forward with that decision myself. It’s just so time consuming and money sucking that I’d rather just diet and be gay but damn Ive gotten so attracted to people that I know would date me if I was a guy. I think that phase is done now and I’m starting to come into my own though and through being observant and open am learning so much more about what people I’m attracted to want and how I can fulfil that and also my own needs...selfish? I guess, I’ve never claimed otherwise.... That will probably cost me brownie points somewhere down the line of life but we’ll see.

I do enjoy being on my own and my life just sets me up with little pockets of people to learn over time. I can take my time with this show because we’re going to be together for a good long time.

And its TW so yay.

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