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slashingdisneypasta · 1 year

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MultiVillains x Reader || Drabbles

Plots / Includes: These are each inspired by texts from the Unsent Project- so this is gonna be heartbreaking 😅 . Enjoy XD

(Also- the ratings at the end of the blurbs is how upsetting it is at least in my opinion, for your convenience XD 😅 0 is happy, 5 is sad, 10 is dark. Remember these are my opinions so take them with a grain of salt and proceed cautiously if you think anything will trigger you ^^ I'm just trying this out)

Bo Sinclair x ChildhoodSweetheart!Reader- whatever happen to us, remember that i always loved you and always will. Your parting words to your childhood sweetheart before you leave town. || 6-7 1/2 out of 10

Captain Hook x Reader- i don’t hate you. i’m sorry it ended how it did. An affirming moment between two people who used to love each other. || 4-5 out of 10

Cruella De Vil x Model!Reader- you did a damn good job of hurting me, but not good enough i’m healing. You call her up and say some things that satisfying your fricken soul. || 8-9 out of 10 (its angry)

Hades x Reader- even when I get over you and all that you’ve done for me, i’ll never forget the happiness. This one’s about an ex-lover of the lord of the dead who, if you asked, would never say a bad thing about him. And how he responds. || 2-3 out of 10

Inkubus x Reader- if you had said something earlier it would have been you. He finally admits he really wants you which is all you’ve wanted for the last 5 years but its awful because its too late and you cant do this with him now. || 6-7 out of 10

Laughing Jack x Reader- i hope you can forgive me one day. i’m sorry i didn’t say goodbye when u left. i love you. These are the words L.J wishes he could send you, but that part of him that can admit those things out loud died a long time ago. || 5-6 out of 10

Wheezy Weasel x Reader- the universe keeps putting us in the same place at the same time and you still refuse to come to me. Wheezy is sick and tired of letting you leave every time you two find your ways back to eachother so he lays it all out on the table for you. || 5!!! out of 10

Warnings: Heartbreak and angst throughout. But also mentions of Mr and Mrs Sinclair (Neglect and abusive parenting), break ups, past break ups, caring about eachother but not getting back together, kind of psychotic reader in Cruella’s, being in mutual love but not being together, death of reader, gratuitous swearing, inner struggles, L.J struggling with his emotional trauma, break ups, immoveable objects, etc. Also unedited.

Bo Sinclair: whatever happen to us, remember that i always loved you and always will

Bo always had a deficiency in love- his parents never truly loved him and in a house like that you learn to protect yourself. You have to learn to protect yourself so your heart doesn’t break daily. You could tell this was in him, or it wasn’t in him, from the moment you met Bo when the two of you were 5. He just had that… air. And little five-year-old you, in overalls and mud, felt for him.

Since then, you did everything you could to make him feel loved, because honestly? From the second moment you met him he was. Sure, at first it was just puppy love; A little kid looking at another little kid and thinking he would look perfect next to a picket fence walking a cute dog, or in a church holding your hand. Despite that it was more then enough fodder to build a lifelong relationship from, developing rapidly over the years from being sandbox buddies to sneaking out of your window at night after a fight with your parents just to spend the night in his truck with him. To making out behind school for the first time and ending up with a kissing rash you hid by staying home for days. To him inviting you to prom. At 16 the two of you were the steadiest couple in town. And you were right when you were a kid- he would look good in a church holding your hand, now.

… Your heart still pangs like hell in your chest when you even just remember that that is never going to happen, though.

Because you cant stay and he cant leave.

He’s never going to walk that dog (Skippy you’d named it in your head over the years, after the peanut butter Bo liked) by that damn picket fence you would’ve taken such good care of. You would never get married, though it felt something like torture inside knowing that you two would not share a future at all.

Bo always had a deficiency in love- it came from his parents and you tried like hell to put him back together but looking at him now, your bags in the backseat and the drivers side of your car open, waiting for you… and him standing there all sweet and charismatic, like he’s not bothered by this when he raged last night in the darkness of your back yard… you can see it never really got fixed. Nothing you can do could ever repair what they broke. And it destroys you inside.

Sniffing, you carefully lay your hands on his shoulders just to feel him a last time, maybe commit him to memory. The darkness over his eyes from the baseball cap on his head hides the dark look inside him that you saw last night. You give him a serious look, nudging your forehead against the rim of his hat. You take a deep breath in, for saying goodbye with-

-He immediately shakes his head, leaning back from you. “Don’t say it.”

“Bo- “

“Naww, don’t say it.” Theres a good-humoured smirk on his face but the tone in his voice is not joking. He’s not joking. “Y’can still stay. C’mon, I’ll help you unpack- “

“Bo,” You start again, insisting and closing the space between you two again. Persistently, you catch his eye before speaking again, waiting until he’s still and he’s paying attention.

… Then you take another deep breath and lean your forehead softly against the rim of his hat, this time. “Whatever happens to us- I need you to know-… I always loved you, and always will.”

Then you squeeze your eyes shut, squeeze your fingers into his shoulders one last time, and then break away into the car.

Captain Hook: i don’t hate you. i’m sorry it ended how it did

Of all the things to see outside your window at night, this had to be one of the most surprising. Sure, its true that he used to visit you at your window every night, you would leave the window open for him, but its been years since then and now the window is closed and latched. And yet, he’s here.

Even so, you move forward a moment after you see him and unlock the window for him once again- then step back and wrap your dressing gown tightly around your body; eyes wide as they flicker up and down his body. “Is everything okay??- “

“Everything is fine, my dear.” A terrible pang rings throughout your chest at him calling you that, a twisted echo of the reaction you used to have to his pet name for you. A lot can change in 3 years, you suppose… but that doesn’t mean you like it. “I just… I wished to… ask you something.”

This experience is almost surreal, for you. Dreamy. Having Hook turn up at your window again after all this time has been a dream - no, nightmare, - for you since you said goodbye; You imagined all the things he might say, the way he might beg for you back and the way he might come back just to have a last word with you… you were never sure which was worse. Whether you hate them or still care about them, its always awful when your ex comes back. Its always painful.

You’re not quite sure which one this is. Looking warily at him, you arms crossed over your chest, you feel the cold air coming in from around him on your face and shake your head “… Why don’t you come inside?”

“… thank you, but no.”

“Why not??”

“I don’t think I’ll be staying for long, to be frank. Can I ask my question now, dear?”

“I… “Taking a deep breath in to strengthen yourself, you nod. “I suppose. Go ahead… “

Something in his face shifts then, something vulnerable appears. “Well I.. I- I’ve been thinking lately, about our time together. I had a dream, and… “ His eyes flicker away from yours for a moment, and you know he had dream like yours. You sympathise, but sympathy is a dangerous game and you can’t fall back into old feelings for him- it would be too much, having to start again from the beginning getting over him. So you fold your arms tighter and lift your chin, holding it in when he looks at you again. “And I couldn’t get it out of my head. Smee, that… blundering fool… suggested I come here and ask you myself, so- I- I just have to know, my dear… do you harbour any ill-feelings towards me, still? I know that we ended things and it was unpleasant but I would really regret it if… if you hated me, for anything I said at that time.”

At this you cant help it, your expression immediately softens and your arms loosen against your chest almost entirely. You feel bad for him. And you would never want him to ever think that.

You??? Hating him?????

You couldn’t.

“No… no no no- I- I could never- “ God, you’re a blubbering idiot. Taking a deep breath to calm down and possibly manage a complete sentence, you start again. “… I don’t hate you. I’m sorry for how it ended.”

The two of you just look at eachother, then. Searching eachothers faces for any of the malice that you remember from those last weeks- it wasn’t that you suddenly disliked each other though, it just… some things… sometimes two people aren’t meant to be for that long.

And thankfully, its not there.

A warm smile crinkles the corners of Hooks eyes, and he nods. “As am I.”

Cruella De Vil: you did a damn good job of hurting me, but not good enough i’m healing

“Arghhhh!” The frustrated scream is muffled by the pillow you have pressed against your face but its still loud, and you don’t feel better afterwards when you pull your warm face away from the pillow and force a deep breath. When that doesn’t work either you stand up, throw the pillow on the floor and stomp down on it.

Its childish, you know. But you are pissed.

Not only did she just stop answering your calls, stop looking at you at work, stop asking for your presence - like it was some switch!, - , but now she’s fired you!??

This. Bitch.

“How the fuck could she do this??” You hiss, storming to one side of your little studio apartment- then whipping around storming to the other side. “I am the face of that stupid fucking company!” With that, you snatch up a cushion from the couch this time on your way across the room. Its one she gave you, made of precious fur so she wouldn’t have to totally slum it in your apartment the rare times that she visited. You stop and stare at it for a few moments, fury bubbling and rising inside you at the sight of the stiff, uncomfortable black-and-white thing before you finally whip around again and go to your desk. There you grab a pair of scissors and stab them into the ugly thing.

That feels good. So you rip the scissors out again and cut a sizeable chunk out of one of the corners.

It cuts surprisingly easily and you sit down for a few minutes at your desk just cutting away at it until all you have now is a pile of feathers and fur. When its finished, you’re a little calmer and pick up your polaroid camera from the very edge of your desk. Snap!

“Hmmm,” You smirk, shaking out the polaroid until it shows the picture. “Cruella will appreciate this nailed to her office door I think… god I sound like a psycho… “For a moment, you consider chopping up the photograph, instead- but instead just shrug. “Honestly oh-fucking-well.“

Cruella made you this way. She can reap the rewards.

“… fucking hell… “As you sit by the ex-cushion and its innards, you feel an almost sadness looking at it. You remember how she bought in the first place, yes to jazz up your home a little bit so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable in the low-rent district,… but also so she could be there when you were sick that one time. That was shockingly warm, of her. You thought after that, that she actually cared about you.

Then your face goes sour again, anger licking at your heart like flames. Because despite that, she did this to you. Somewhere between then, and now, she decided that you weren’t in fact worth it. She changed her mind. Like you were an option on the fucking menu.

Slamming the scissors down on the desk and dropping the polaroid, you stalk across the room back to your bed. You throw pillows off of it until you find your cell phone, that she gave you, and punch in the numbers that would get you her.

When the ringing stops and the line clears, and you can hear her breath in to say something, you immediately speak first. As far as you are concerned- she has nothing to say. “How dare you- I am a supermodel you heinous, ice cold, disgusting old freak. Your company is going to crumble without me to wear your rags and you’ll- ughh! You’ll- “ What? She’ll regret this? She’ll miss you? She’ll want you back? You know in your heart that none of that will happen. And it kills you. “Agh! I’ll- I’ll find something better. I’ll be much happier working for- being with, someone else. I promise.” Are you promising her, or yourself??? Either way this screeching has calmed you down some, and now you’re just standing there with one hand on your hip, breathing carefully. “… you know what? You hurt me real bad, Cruella, you did a fantastic job. But not good enough- I’m gonna heal.” As soon as you say it you know its true, and a semblance of sanity returns to your mind.

Then you hang up and, for good measure, you throw the cell phone at a wall with all your might- smashing it into pieces.

Hades: even when I get over you and all that you’ve done for me, i’ll never forget the happiness

“Even when I get over this and you and everything we had- I’ll never forget how happy you made me.” Those would be your last words to him. Those were perfect, you thought. He needed to know that despite this not working between you both anymore, that he would still never be a villain in your life. A lot of people make those assumptions about him and just because you were finished, you would never revert to being on of them. He made you happy for a long time when you thought you wouldn’t be that again and that will never be erased by anything. Not to you.

So, giving one final teary smile, you then turned around and walked away.

Its many many years later when you see eachother again. You’re much, much older now and your heart stopped beating. He meets you at the gate, not something he does with just everyone, and he smirks at you just like he used to.

Its nice, that he still looks at you the same now as he did back then. It makes you feel warm inside, despite being dead.

“So… welcome back.” Are the first words he says to you in so long, and you give a warm smile in response. Sure, you should be scared… you’re dead… but looking at him, you just can’t be. “How bout I show you to your bunk for the next eon?”

Nodding yes, you follow him nervously past the gates and past the river styx. You’re surprised, walking by that- aren’t you going in there?? You thought you would… But Hades keeps moving, not looking back as he leads you deeper into the Underworld. Past the throne room you’re familiar with, past a big iron door with Asphodel Meadows indented into it… to a similar door with Elysium on it. Your eyes widen, stepping back- but Hades’ smoke creates a barrier behind you so you cant get away. It gathers against your back and softly nudge you forward again.

There’s no way- you don’t deserve-

“Uh uh uh… not so fast, babe, you belong here. Look- “ Hades speaks and your wide-eyed attention is immediately on him again, waiting for a good explanation for this. You never in your wildest dreams thought you would ever end up- “I know when our thing ended I was aaa… lets say a little cold. But- I need you to know that wasn’t because I didn’t like you anymore. Babe, damn, you’re still my favourite mortal. And… “The odd, unfamiliar, empathetic look on his face transforms once more to a smirk now. “I heard all the nice things you’ve been sayin’ about me all these years. Remember, I got ears everywhere.”

Oh- well- you’re about to say something, but a smoke tendril wraps itself around your mouth. Hades holds up a finger. “Not just yet. I just wanted to show my gratitude and… “He pushes the door open, which creaks from absolute lack of use over the years, and what’s you see inside is beyond your wildest daydreams. There is absolutely no way he is sending you in there- “Welcome to your final resting place, sweetheart. You like?”

The smoke all over you slips away, then, you’re free. And without thinking, you step towards the doorway.

Its beautiful… and you can’t wait to be there. Is he really sending you there??? Glancing at him, he nods and you look back at Elysium. You take another step, putting your hand gently on the inside doorhandle.

Elysium. You can’t believe it.

“Y/N- “

“Hades,” You finally speak, turning to him before you just go and step inside without saying a word to him. If you did that, you would regret it forever. When he looks back at you, you give a gentle shrug. “I promised, Hades.”

This grin on his face now, is genuine. He loves you- he is always going to love you. This is the reason you couldn’t stay together, because one day you would die and it would be too hard on him. You’re so sorry that the separation changed nothing… but a small, selfish part of you is glad he still loves you too.

… But instead of saying that, making this harder on him, you just give another warm smile, a thank you, and then turn around and walk away.

Inkubus: if you had said something earlier it would have been you

You are literally looking at him in horror. You didn’t think before this that anyone in real life would truly have the power to horrify you to this degree, but he has done it. Honestly if anyone could, you’re not surprised it was him, but you do wish he would shut up now.

By the time he’s finished your eyes are downcast, you can’t even look at him. He comes back for the first time after a year and… and this!? 5 minutes ago the last thing he said to you was I’m going away for a little while, watch my plants and now its I shouldn’t have left like that. I’m in love with you???

You have no clue how to respond. You want to tell him to leave now, you want to say get fucked, how dare you, you want to slam the door closed so hard the walls shake and crumble, you actually pray for a hole to open up under you and take you away to somewhere where he isn’t looking at you anymore.

“Uhh… “Eyes flickering up towards the porch light to keep your eyes dry, you delicately cross your arms around your stomach and then tighten them there. Then you take a deep breath, and look square at him- you hope he scan see the rage and the hurt in them. You wish it would make him step away, back down, apologise. “So a year ago… when I said to you… if you think you’ll ever want me back then tell me now… were you listening??”

He senses the absolute storm in you but he doesn’t step away, or back down, or apologise. He takes a step forward, reaching out for you. “I always listen to you- “

“Oh-” Fiercely rolling your eyes, you twist away from him and pull your hand up and out of his reach. He always listens to you?? “Because I was asking you that because I needed to know, if I should let go of any dumb hope that the man I wanted would actually ever actually love me back, or if I should wait- because I would’ve waited. I really would’ve… “Looking at him now, you remember that part for definite. You loved him, you wanted him, you would’ve waited… however long, he needed. “Do you remember what you said, Inkubus?? It was important, so you should remember it. You better.”

You watch him and see the very moment the memory flickers through his head; The wince that follows… you almost feel the regret that must burn in his chest. “I said- “The sharp look in your eyes makes him stop. You do not want to hear them again. “I see… “

“Yeah.”

“I don’t suppose I could make it up to you, for that grievous mistake on my part?”

Here was the man you wanted so badly for the past 5 years, finally finally begging for you- actually begging. You know if you only said yes, just closed the door behind you and nodded he would grin at you and your insides would turn to goop, he’d kiss you just the way you imagined - and damn it did you imagine. Which is just wasted time, now, - and he would take it from there. It would be so easy to do. You might even be happy with the decision…

But then you take a deep breath and look away from him. Remember how he left and you had pick up your pieces and do this fucking thing on your own.

So, no. No.

You can’t.

Now your voice has lost all the unrestrained venom from before, all the anger, and you’re just tired and sad. “If you had said something earlier… “ God, it would have been so different… “But no. No. Its too late.”

“Y/N- “

You close the door.

Laughing Jack: i hope you can forgive me one day. i’m sorry i didn’t say goodbye when u left. i love you

L.J’s POV

“Just send it.” I growl, an almost feral edge to my tone that I cant say I’m fully proud of. “Put. It. In. It’s just a bloody letter Jack. Now!- “

The letter nearly slips into the slot this time, but I see Y/N’s face in my head for a moment, just a moment, and they’re pretty as ever but they’re reading the letter. They’re reading the letter, finishing it, and then setting it aside. They do not respond to me.

The letter swerves and goes over the top, slipping down the backside of the letterbox, instead.

“Aghh!” I’m heaving. This is ridiculous! What!? Why can’t I- “My god.” Dropping to my knees on the ground, I reach underneath the letterbox with one of my long arms and collect the now dusty, dirty letter back again. I sigh. “Of course.”

Slowly getting back up to my feet, I look at the letterbox with a frown on my lips. I have to do this. I have to tell them…

Okay. Taking a deep breath and puffing out my chest, I inwardly pump myself up for this. I think I need to, considering how hard this seems to be. Let’s go Jack, we can do this, we’re very very close. Just one more try. Come on. Here we go-

I accidentally picture Y/N again at exactly the wrong moment. This time it’s a memory; This actually happened. And its horrible.

Before my eyes, seemingly, I see them animatedly explaining why they have to leave to me - because they got an amazing job opportunity, a fact I’m surprised I remember considering I was blocking them out at this point, - , that they’re so very sorry - something I definitely didn’t care to hear at the time, - , and then… inviting me to see them off the next day. Say goodbye properly.

… But the next day came and I didn’t go to see them off… The letter once again mises its target. I saved myself from that unnecessary pain of saying goodbye. Didn’t I?

I’ve been so sure about that, for a while… But not so much, lately. No. Suddenly I regret it. I’m thinking maybe I should have been there, maybe it would have been better. Perhaps I wouldn’t still have this nagging itch in my chest every time I think about them. I wish I would have… been there…

And now I just want to tell them that. They need to know that I’m sorry I didn’t go, or say goodbye to them when they left.

That I hope they forgive me.

I love them.

But I am apparently physically incapable of sending this bloody letter!

Wheezy Weasel: the universe keeps putting us in the same place at the same time and you still refuse to come to me

Creaaaaaaaaaaaak- “Oh, shoot.”

“Mmm… toldya that floorboards a little loose.” Wheezy mumbles sleepily, cracking his eyes open to see you caught with your boot just pulled on but not laced up yet. He immediately sees what’s happening, and those scary steel eyes narrow at you. Oh, no. You were really hoping to avoid that. “… Goin’ somewhere?”

“I… “ Searching for the words gets you nowhere; There are no words to sufficiently explain yourself in a flattering light. You’re running away- again.

“Its kinda early.”

“Wheezy, I- “ You try again, but he’s already climbing out of bed and fixing his sleeves. Watching him, you wait for the way he’ll shut down and let you go like he always does. It hurts, but you’re used to it. And you’re sure it hurts him when he sees that you’re leaving, so… you’re even. You owe it to him to stay and see the moment he gives up on whatever’s between the two of you every time.

“No.” Is all he says, and you’re a little surprised. No?? What does no mean??? You open your mouth to ask, concerned, but he says it again; Head still down and eyes not on you as he finished rolling up his sleeves. “No.”

“No??”

He lifts his eyes to see you again and you’re struck with the utter intensity of them. “No, yer not leavin’ again.”

Jaw dropping, you look around- searching inside yourself for the words again- this time to say yes, you are. You have to, this isn’t good for either one of you. Sorry. “… Actually- “

“Y/N,” Suddenly he’s in front of you and his hand’s on your face and his eyes are soft on you now and god- you could give up right there. He is such kryptonite to you, its unbelievable. “Just stay this time, huh? Just fer breakfast- its Greasy’s day, so you don’t haveta worry about anything. And it might actually taste good, considering the boss aint cookin’.”

“I can’t stay for breakfast… “

“Why’s that?”

“You know why!”

Eyes going cold again like a switch, Wheezy gives a frustrated sigh in front of you and closes his eyes; Letting his hand fall down to your shoulder, instead. “… why can’t you believe this could work?”

What kind of question is that? Exasperated and desperate to just leave, you step away from him, edging towards the door. “Because it never does!- “

He looks at you again and he looks so damn frustrated, throwing his arm out for emphasis. It’s surprising, he’s usually so cool. “ - Because you always run away! What are you scared of, Y/N??” He comes in close to you again and you feel like a bowl of soup- “The universe keeps putting us together over and over again- and you still refuse to come to me.” His voice is quiet, and soft as it can be after years of chain smoking, and it’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to you… in a crappy low-rent apartment downtown smelling faintly of pee, no less. “… Why’s that??”

You have no idea what to say to second part, so you elect to ignore it. Its easier. “… I’m not scared- “

“Really?? You coulda fooled me.”

“Wheezy, I-… This is dangerous, for me.” You can feel the pressure building up, hear the blood pumping in your ears. You have not wanted to admit this part, you have wanted to keep it buried so as to not hurt him but it’s about to come out and you can’t stop it. “This stuff that you do for Smartass, and the judge… I can’t be mixed up in all that! I could get hurt. And… I can’t-… I can’t… “

“… y’cant put yourself in that situation for a guy.” He realises slowly, on his own. And it’s a small relief… though really, really small.

You want to tell him it’s not true, that he is so worth it because truly, honestly, he is and you love him… but… “Yeah,” You let out, more as breath then an actual admission. But he hears it.

And he understands, too. He nods and actually looks like he understands you. Which just makes it worse for you! He’s fucking perfect, what the hell!? “I get that… “

“Thank you… “

… When it’s clear that Wheezy isn’t going to stop you this time, you sit down on the edge of the bed and silently do up your boot laces. Wheezy carefully sits down next to you, reaching to get your jacket for you and hold it silently while you finish your boots. When you do finish, you turn to him and he hands it to you, forcing a small smile.

For a moment more you just sit there, wondering how you could possibly say goodbye to him. Really, say goodbye. Because you don’t think… you’re ever going to do this again. Not after this. Its over.

You can feel your heart breaking as you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Wheezy.”

“Love ya, baby.”

“Oh I love you too.” You sigh out, pausing only a moment more to let it sink in, then take a deep breath and leave the room.

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marinerainbow · 4 months

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I have been obsessed with Bistro Huddy for a couple days now, and I found this video and... I can't. I can't stop thinking about this with my Poppy ships. I had to write this crack XD

@just-kit-ink and @wicked1will0sparkles I have a feeling this'll get a chuckle out of you guys (for the sake of argument, let's say that Shiny and Poppy do work for the TP from time to time in this fic. Like... Poppy can offer them info about some of the Uptown toon she works with, and Shiny can do all kinds of crimes with them).

It was a rare, and almost frightening, sight to see the boss smiling. Not in an unnerving way, not in smug pride, but actual genuine joy from another person. It almost never happened. Which was why Greasy knew something had to be up between Smartass and Poppy when he saw the two laughing and drinking coffee side by side in the kitchen.

"Ohhhoho! You really said that??"

"Well 'yea, what else was I gonna say? You 'shoulda seen the look on his mug!" The weasel breathed out a few chuckles before he noticed the new presence and looked up, just in time to see his right hand man smirking at him knowingly. Rolling his eyes and shrugging, Smartass chose to just cut himself off, now that he and Poppy weren't alone anymore, "Alright, I'll tell 'ya what happened next later. Seeya at lunch."

It wasn't lost on Poppy that another person's presence did ruin the mood, but she didn't make any implication about that. She didn't want to hurt the Spaniards' feelings... That and work needed to be done anyway. So she just nodded, "Alright. I should get you the paperwork you need by ten, at the latest."

"Sounds good."

Poppy walked off with her mug and a smile, nodding and offering Greasy a cheery "Bonjour." As she passed him and slipped out the kitchen door. That left him the opportunity to smirk knowingly at his boss, who rolled his eyes in response, "Buen día."

"Shuddap, Grease."

Though 'shutting up' was not on Greasy's plans. Not after what he just witnessed. The weasel took his time grabbing his coffee cup from the cupboard and pouring himself some of the much needed caffeinated liquid, all while keeping eye contact with a Smartass who was ever-increasingly going back to his grumpy persona. This probably wasn't a good idea to poke the bear before he could finish his coffee... But hey, this was what happened when you chuck out the TV the night before, and there was nothing else to entertain your right hand man, "So, I see you and Poppy have a little something going on~"

Usually there would be a tapping foot- or a death glare- or a twitching hand and glancing towards the nearest object that would tell the taller weasel that there was indeed something happening between his boss and their sweet friend. However, Smartass must have been truly exhausted since he just huffed and went back to stirring his coffee, "There ain't 'nothin going on. That's just how a work marriage is

The ear-to-ear grin on Greasy's face fell instantly after that, and looked like his brain was shutting down from attempting to process what Smartass just said. As if he claimed that Bugs Bunny was actually a crcodile, "A... A Work marriage?"

"What?? You 'nevah heard of it??" The hint of jealousy in Greasy's eyes seemed to be lost on the head weasel. He looked more surprised at the thought of him not being aware of the special relationship one could have with their coworkers, "Well I ain't explainin' it-"

"Ohhh no, I know what a work wife is. Because that is what Poppy is to me."

The sip that Smartass had attempted to drink almost got coughed up onto his suit. The pink weasel actually had to set the cup down before he glowrred at the other toon. There was absolutely no way his ears were working right. At least Greasy better hope they weren't, "Excuse you??"

Instead of being intimidated, Greasy just crossed his arms and seemed to take on the challenge instead, "You heard me, boss. If she's work married to anybody in this house, it's me."

"Oh no. Uh-uh bub. She's work married t'me."

"No, Poppy is my work wife."

The two weasels whipped their heads towards the doorway, looking at a just woken, disheveled, feral looking Psycho staring at them like they were the insane ones. And he was sending Greasy in particular a glare that could make any iron-willed man feel weak in the bladder, "You already have Shiny. You can't have Poppy too."

At that, Smartass immediately turned back towards Greasy with his fists on his hips, "Oh! You got that lunatic, but you're over here movin' in on my work gal??"

"MY work wife! Get your own!"

"And who's to say I must limit myself to one beautiful woman, eh?" Greasy glanced between his comrades with a hand to his chest, like he wasn't just getting on Smartass' case for being work married to Poppy, "How is that fair?"

"How is tha- BOY-"

"Actually, I'm Poppy's work husband too."

"WHAT!?"All three looked straight at the smoker, now standing in the doorway and looking like he just made the biggest mistake in his life. Why he thought it was a good idea to say that out loud, who knows. But the smoker just groaned and walked further in the kitchen to grab an apple from the fruit bowl, with Stupid following after him.

"Duh, what's happening here?"

Seeing the big lug of a weasel come in all confused made Greasy and Smartass narrow their eyes at him in suspicion. Psycho on the other hand was too busy growling at an unphased Wheezy, "Estúpido, you better not say you're Poppy's work husband too."

Stupid blinked at his brother and coworker for a moment, before his eyes lit up once he caught up with the topic of discussion, "Huh? Noooo, we're not work married!"

"Good. I don't need'ta deal with yo-"

"She's my work mom!"

The whole room fell silent. Smartass and Greasy glanced to each other before looking at the oblivious Stupid, and even Psycho had paused his confrontation with Wheezy- who was now burying his face in his free hand, "Stu, don't-"

"And Wheezy is my work dad!" The buck toothed toon proclaimed happily as he pointed to the internally dying Wheezy, still blissfully unaware of the tension in the room, "He and Poppy work adopted me! We even got ice cream yesterday!"

...

At that moment, without even looking up from his paw, Wheezy knew his smokes would not be enough emotional support to face these ridiculous weasels, "Ok, guys-"

"YOU STARTED A WORK FAMILY WITH POPPY!?"

"¡Destructor de hogares!"

"Is there ANYBODY in this house NOT puttin' the work moves on her!?"

"I'm not, boss!"

"SHUT UP!"

Breakfast and coffee were on no ones mind now. The entire kitchen was quickly filled with screaming, threats, and proclamations of betrayal. Poor Stupid could only stand there, glancing to his work dad and pleading with his eyes for an answer of what to do. Though all Wheezy would do was suck in as much toxic smoke as he could while he still had the chance. Before Smartass could throw the toaster, or Psycho could pounce on somebody.

The only thing that could break up the whole room was the very rabbit of discussion when she poked her head inside in concern. Her eyes pinned down against her head and her eyes were wide as they darted to each individual in the room, "Uh, g-guys? Is everything-"

"Get outta here while you still can, Pops."

"What do you-"

She just barely managed to contain her shriek when suddenly all four pairs of eyes locked onto her, making her stand straight up at attention. The moment to escape was long gone now, "Guys...?"

A long silence hung in the air as the first three weasels all looked at each other, as if agreeing upon something, then looked right back at Poppy. Stupid scratched under his propeller hat in confusion, and Wheezy closed his eyes to fully enjoy the silence before it would be undoubtedly ruined again.

---

"What on Earth- What are you guys talking about?"

Having taken this out to the living room, Poppy was seated on the couch and resisted rubbing her temples. The papers she was working on for Smartass were currently strewn about the coffee table, but all she could focus on were the weasels surrounding her. Wheezy was sitting on her left, not at all wanting to be here either. Smartass was sitting straight up in his own chair, tapping his foot with his arms crossed. Greasy had been trying to sit on Poppy's right, though he kept getting driven off by Psycho who was standing by the couch like a gargoyle. And Stupid was busy getting himself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen now that it wasn't crowded anymore.

If Poppy had been told she was going to be in the middle of a work love triangle- or rectangle in this case- with four of Toontowns biggest criminals four years ago, she would have laughed it off as a joke.

"I don't know how we can make it any clearer, but fine." Smartass huffed out as he leaned forward, almost looking like he was in the middle of one of his business meetings, "These nimrods think you're their work wife. We gotta clear it all up, like usual."

"Smarty-"

"Poppy, it's alright. I know this is all a terrible misunderstanding." Greasy still hadn't managed to slip past Psycho, so he chose to kneel in front of her and take her paw in his hands all dramatic like. He looked like the love interest in one of his novelas, and Poppy just looked so tired, "Just tell these putas that you, Shiny, and I are exclusive. Then we can get back to normal, si?"

"Listen-"

Poppy was once again interrupted, but this time by Psycho as he hopped over the couch just to smack at Greasy's face and hiss like a territorial housecat. The second in command managed to jumo back in time, but that didn't make the lunatic back off, "¿¡Qué carajo!?"

"You go be 'exclusive' with Shiny!"

"Yeah, you shouldn't even be here!"

While the three spiraled into yet another argument, Poppy heaved out a defeated sigh before looking towards the only sane one right now. Their eyes met and, like always, they shared a silent moment of pity and understanding for the other, "Help me."

Although he truly felt sorry for his work wife, and wanted nothing more than to escape this madhouse, there really was nothing Wheezy could do for either of them. All Poppy had to see was his slumped shoulders to know what he was going to say, "I tried, Poppy. You know how they get."

The toon groaned as she gave in and leaned back on the couch to rest her head on the back. Her headache growing with each curse word flung around. Why couldn't these guys just... The bond formed within a stressful and emotionally draining work environment knew no bounds. It couldn't just be contained to one individual. Why couldn't these jerks see that??

Well, at least Wheezy understood it. And Greasy, to an extent... Maybe it was more of a pride thing between him, Psycho and Smartass. If that was the case, then she could get this fixed no prob-

"Alright then. How about a fight?"

Blinking back into the present, and getting over the jarring sudden silence that befell the living room, Poppy turned her head far back enough to see the source of the familiar voice; Shiny standing in the middle of the open front door, with what looked like a crate of her homebrewed alcohol tucked under her arm. The arguing must have been loud enough to cover Shiny coming inside. But either way, her announcing her presence caused the three weasels to actually pause in their bickering, "You guys heard what I said."

Oh god no, "I- Shiny, I don't think that- we don't want that to happen."

The weasel lady just shrugged as she kicked the door closed behind her, taking turns to look each and every one of them in the eye- including Psycho, despite the probability of him taking that as a challenge in the mood he was in now being high. She didn't even bother trying to hide her smirk while placing the moonshine on the nearest syrface as she reiterated, "If you guys want her to choose, why not prove your worthiness and fight for her?

"Shiny, for the love of God, no." Wheezy stated in a firm voice he didn't often use. Glancing to his team, he could see the gears turning in Psycho's and Greasy's heads as they briefly shared a look. Fortunately, though, Smartass at least was currently stuttering out a response in disbelief. Hopefully, that meant the boss' sanity was coming back.

"Too late, Cowboy."

"No! No, not too late! Guys!-"

"You know what?!" Finally. Smartass was being the leader he should have been from the start. Standing up and pointing a finger at the mischievous woman, who just raised an amused brow right back at him, he snapped, "You don't get to come in here and-"

Though he was too late. The time for actual sense in this house had passed. That was made obvious when Smartass was sent flying over his chair and across the room. After a straightjacket clad weasel launched himself right at him. Psycho' battle screech and Smartass' cursing and gun clicking filled the room, and all Greasy did was pull out his switchblade and started cleaning it; preparing himself for war.

Although his expression remained partially neutral, his shaking hands while he lit up his whole pack and jumped right out of his seat showed how absolutely done he was. He wasn't going to bother trying to pull those maniacs away from each other. Not when he didn't even want to make a big deal out of this in the first place, "I'm out."

"PSYCHO NO!" While Wheezy was walking away from the others, Poppy leaped up to her feet with intentions of trying to break up the fight. Though before she could take a step towards the brawl, she was stopped when Shiny placed her well manicured paw on her shoulder. Looking behind her, Poppy watched her shake her head, silently telling her 'it's not worth it, honey', "Shiny!-"

"Let them get it out of their system. They clearly need it, sugar." The woman casually shrugged. The tiny smirk on her lips, though, showed she had more selfish reasons for starting this between them... And that she wasn't going to even try to hide it, "Besides, it's funny how easy they all are. Isn't it?"

"N-No! I can't let my work marriages fall apart!"

"Oh, please. This'll get through to them better than 'sitting down and talking it out' ever would. And you know it." Shiny sighed- not as dramatically as Greasy was renowned for, but there was a hint of drama behind it- before wrapping her arms around the rabbits shoulders and pulling her around and close, making Poppy completely face her now. Good thing, too. As the pencil holder that flew behind Poppy would have hit her in the eye otherwise. Even though Poppy was upset, the look of worry and slight anger towards her was absolutely adorable, and only made Shiny's grin broaden, "Besides, it doesn't really matter in the end. Does it?"

The tiny frown on Poppy's face faltered at that. Though not because she was comprehending how close her best friend was now, "How?"

"'Cause you and I both know that out of everybody here, I'm your true work spouse."

"Oh my god-"

"Hey! I didn't say anything about being the only one! I'm just saying that I'm the matriarch of your little work harem~"

...

Somehow, despite her soured mood, despite the waging three-way war happening just mere feet from them, Shiny still managed to get a smile, and even a little chuckle, out of her. Shaking her head, Poppy decided in that moment to just press her forehead against her favorite lady's crown, and enjoy this tiny moment between them while it could last, "You're terrible."

Not paying any mind to the sounds of agony from the three men, or the crashing and breaking of wood, or Smartass' "WHERE'D PSYCHO GET THE LAWN CHAIR!?!?", the dancer just touched noses with her little rabbit and giggled alongside her, "I know~"

While the girls were distracted, Stupid poked his head out of the kitchen doorway to see what was causing so much of a rucus. Crumbs of ceral still unwiped from his lips, "What's going-"

One look at the three feral weasels, a mising Wheezy, and Poppy and Shiny completely forgetting the world around them, Stupid had made probably the smartest decision he ever hsad made in his life at that moment. He quickly and quietly slipped back in the kitchen to finish his food, "Nevermind!"

This got a little genuine Popshine'y at the end of the crack. I don't regret it XD

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