#what do u mean they are not blatantly romantic coded with this just being out here so early on i cant i cannot? i cant! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ginazmemeoir · 2 years

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hey everyone, as mentioned in my earlier post, i will be releasing chapters of my latest fic over the course of the next few days (and yes i purposefully planned it for festival season).

Kalidasa's protagonists are too romantic and ideal, while those in the Mahabharata are too pragmatic and realistic, bordering on cold. I have attempted to sort of meet them both half-way in this fic, and i hope you like it :D

tagging @rudolphsboyfriend @redirection04 @gopikanyari @aadyeah @holding-infinity-and-a-book @allegoriesinmediasres @totallyforgotyouwerehere @dragonfairy1231 @weird-u @taareginn @avani008 @wtfrroch

Dushyant.

Only one name reverberated inside her mind, as Shakuntala sat at the steps to her cottage, enjoying the winter afternoon sun even as her mind conjured up images of her lover. A full head taller than her, lean and strong, his bronze skin shining with sweat, a smirk on his face. Beads of sweat trickled down his abdomen and rolled down his sculpted figure in her imagination, as a blush rose to her cheeks. Her thoughts however were interrupted by an unexpected visitor.

A hush fell on the entire ashram. It was the fabled Brahmarishi Durvasa, known for his tiny ego, even tinier anger and an arrogance that rivalled even Mount Meru, the abode of the gods. Nobody knew what would happen in his wake – please him, and he would reward you handsomely through boons and gifts. Bring his water a little bit too cold though, and you could find yourself enduring hell on earth. The latter was far too common.

Students made way as the various elders assembled rushed to accommodate him and take them to their leader Sage Kanva, Shakuntala’s father. Shakuntala, being the woman who presided over the ashram in her father’s absence, was called upon to welcome him – after appropriately covering up her quickening belly. Pregnancies out of wedlock were no issues in the progressive, scholarly environment of the ashram – to men like Durvasa though, they heralded the collapse of society.

Fresh mats of grass were laid and attendants sent forth to sprinkle rosewater on him and fan him. Shakuntala then came forth with his meal : a pitcher of buttermilk, some roti, dal, rice and yams. Dushyant’s image however, wouldn’t leave her mind. She kept replaying that passionate night, and kept wondering when he would come to take her as his bride to his kingdom, and in the process, missed what the guest had just uttered. The next moment, all hell broke loose.

“What is the meaning of this?!” he shouted, flipping his plate over and scattering the food all around. “Is this how Kanva treats his guests? Through such blatant disrespect? I knew women could often be soft minded, but I never knew a lady could be a stranger to the rules of hospitality!” he shouted, disdain evident in his voice. Shakuntala was hastily pulled away, lest the man spring flames around himself, and comforted by one of her friends. Mustering up her courage, she retorted. Even as she said the words, her mind warned her to stop, but she couldn’t bear the insult offered to her father, or to herself. “Brahmarishi, you accuse us of dishonouring the code of hospitality when you yourself blatantly do so. Not only have you insulted your gracious host, but you have also insulted the food offered to you, and through that Goddess Annapurna. It does not befit a man of your station.” She said, chin raised, voice collected, her eyes meeting Durvasa’s. Her answer was followed by an audible gasp, and visible anger and discomfort on the other sages in the ashram. A cruel smile grew across the guest’s face, as he took in Shakuntala.

“Ah yes, of course. Pregnancy. That ought to play with a woman’s mind. But dear child, I don’t see your husband around, nor do I see you wearing any symbol of you being a married woman, except that ruby ring on your finger.” He said, his voice insinuating that which hadn’t been said. “You disrespected me while thinking of your lover. Well then, let this same lover who left you with a child out of wedlock, forget you forever.”

Her mind went blank. Surely she had misheard something. No human would ever inflict such a cruelty on anyone – for being forgotten by someone you loved was akin to a slow death. Tears welled in her eyes as she sat down, unable to register the shock of the curse, even as those around her begged the rishi to take back his curse. Satisfied with the unrest he had caused, Durvasa offered a solution to the curse. “Keeping two lovers apart is hardly any concern of mine. Show him something he gave you, and he would instantly recognize and fall in love with you once again.” He declared, and prepared to leave. However this time, he went minus his respect. The assembly of learned people all stared at him with fear, while those who like him had undergone tapas, looked at him with an expression of disapproval and disdain; and that was what got to Durvasa. Suffering disrespect at another’s hand was something that he never left unpunished, but losing it through his own deeds was unfathomable for him. Reluctantly turning around, he approached Shakuntala and sat by her feet. “I was harsh on you dear, and that surely is a mark of failure from my side as a man of learning,” he said, his tone and face both touching upon remorse as he apologized. That man’s nature was even more unpredictable than that of the Yamuna. “Mark my words though,” he continued, “the child you carry is no ordinary one. Your child will change the fate of this land, and will bring fame to itself and you of a stature unforeseen.” Blessing her so, he left as quickly as he had arrived.

Gloom hung over the ashram in his wake. The rishis and rishikas deliberated amongst themselves in quick, hushed tones, deciding the best course of action while the students milled around Shakuntala, trying to comfort her. By dusk, her father arrived and was promptly briefed in on everything that had happened in his absence. She expected her father to show the same reactions that those around him had had, but he, without saying a word, just drew her into his embrace. Shakuntala nestled her head into her father’s chest, and started weeping. Sobs racked her frame as she clutched onto him. She was like an open book in front of him; each tension, each thought in her mind erupted. Why did Dushyant leave her in the first place? Why hadn’t he come back yet? And why, of all things, did she have to get pregnant? She was barely an adult and still relied on others to look after her, how would she take care of a child? Finally, as her tears subsided, Kanva lifted her face up and kissed her on the forehead. “My brave girl,” he said, wiping off pearls from her cheeks, “everything will be just fine.”

“I want to go to Hastinapur father.” She said in a small voice, her eyes looking at her feet. “I must negate Durvasa’s curse as fast as I can, lest Dushyant forget me forever.”

Kanva’s soft gaze hardened and his mouth pressed into a thin line. After a long pause, he spoke, “Shakuntala, you are wise. I have instructed you in all the fields of academia, withholding nothing I knew. Then tell me, why aren’t you wise enough to see through Dushyant?” he asked, his eyes searching Shakuntala’s.

“Dushyant promised he would take me back as his bride. He promised…”

“When? When would he have taken you back? You were only together for a fortnight beta. It has been 8 months since you last saw him. I think we have to face the truth putri; Dushyant had forgotten you long before Durvasa’s curse.” Kanva said, interrupting her.

“No. I refuse to believe that. He wed me through the gandharva rites, we took the trees and the creek as our witness, we promised to be there for each other! Words hold meaning father, don’t they?” she cried, rebelling against the seed of doubt which had long been planted inside her.

“You’d be surprised dear at how often people throw them around.” Kanva replied wistfully.

“I am leaving for Hastinapur first thing tomorrow. I will meet Dushyant and I will make him remember me. Fate brought us together, and I won’t let it keep us apart.” She declared, daring the universe and all who thought her love was weak. Kanva drew a sigh of resignation, as he too was forced to bow before his daughter’s determination.

The girl he had found abandoned near a river, shielded from the sun’s harsh rays by a flock of cranes, wasn’t going to rest without a fight.

#shakuntala #dushyant #mahabharat #mahabharata #india #hindu mythology #my fic #god it took me so long

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dykecadence · 5 years

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A Dissertation to Prove that Alice Quinn from The Magicians is a Lesbian Experiencing Comp-Het

some of my twitter friends requested i post this on here so @alicequinnlove i hope this is good! (keep in mind this was written before the second half of season 4 so some things are out of date)

1. Her attraction to Quentin as compulsive heterosexuality

Alice only expresses attraction to Q once he has expressed attraction to her

Jumping into a relationship with the first guy to show interest in her despite knowing they don’t necessarily work (and that she is better than him)

Never feels sexual fulfillment in their relationship (until that one ep) but not saying anything about it

Rebounding quickly with another guy after Q cheats as if she is trying to prove something to herself/him

Every time she talks about sexual encounters before Q she says they were all uncomfortable and very impersonal

Look, as someone who struggled with comp-het for a LONG time and has dated guys because of it… Q is exactly the type of soft, nerd boy that is perfect for closeted lesbians to try and date as a means of making themselves seem straight. He’s non-threatening and when you don’t want to confront your sexuality it can be easy to trick yourself into getting crushes or turning friendships into something more.

Not entirely supporting my point because I do think opposite sex friendships are very important but; the fact that Alice was far more upset about her trust being broken and losing one of her best friends than the relationship ending

2. Her inherent unease around other women

Alice is uncomfortable around other women but not because she feels threatened by them. In fact, we don’t really know why she’s so uncomfortable with them at first.

Alice has no close female friends thus the way she views her interactions with women is skewed through Hetero Goggles

She would have no frame of reference for determining if there is a difference in her feelings toward women/patricular women

With Margo in particular, Alice is uneasy which I would chalk up to:

Margo compliments Alice/her body often

Margo being so comfortable with herself

Margo blatantly flirting with her at times

They have tension

I mean…… Margo/Alice Rights!

3. Magic often functions as an allegory for The Gay

Alice has always felt out of place

She fears her own “magic”

Her family didn’t teach her any magic she had to find it on her own

Magical found family narratives are for the gays only

Unaware of her own potential, still hasn’t unlocked it

She holds herself back in her magic, just as she does in every other aspect of life

4. Sex in this show is barely ever just sex

Basically everyone in this show uses sex as a coping mechanism

Especially Alice

Alice sleeps with Q because she’s stressed and worked up in Brakebills South

People had also been telling them to sleep together or speculating the would for months

She may have felt like it was what she was supposed to do

Her immediate distrust of the truth of her feelings once they get back is not something you would expect from someone who is getting what they want

She often says, “I love you” to Q but never says that she is “in love” with him. An important distinction as this show displays many different forms of love.

Alice sleeps with Penny when Q cheats. Why does she do this? To get back at him presumably but I don’t think she’s that petty. I think it was insecurity. Her trying to prove herself to herself.

Alice kisses Q/has sex with Q post-break up only in emotionally intense scenarios where she is overwhelmed by grief, power, or both.

Kissing him at the tree

Having sex with him when she gets back from being a Niffin

Carriage ride to the fight with the Beast

5. Alice has never really had friends

Her experience with comp-het and her inexperience with friendship would very likely lead her to misattribute close feelings of friendship with attraction.

I have personal experience with this so I feel this assumption is justified

Since she knows so few people and Q is the only one she has a close/friendly relationship with she clearly feels the strongest connection to him

She instinctively distrusts everyone and doesn’t let people in easily so it would be hard to know her true feelings

If we could see her in a close female friendship in this show I think she would bond quickly and strongly (as she did with Sheila)

It’s not that she doesn’t want friends, it’s that she has a hard time letting her walls down which ~gay~

It would be invaluable to see her have a close female friendship as we could compare that to her season 1 interactions with Quentin and decipher her behavior

Her few friendly interactions with Margo had a lot of tension before she and Q got together

6. Alice has not expressed attraction to anyone since her last encounter with Q in (I think) late season 2.

This encounter was an instance of sex not just being sex. It was her being overwhelmed after coming back from being a Niffin and seeking comfort/distraction in something familiar i.e. Quentin

Since then she has:

Not expressed in interest in getting back with Q

Not had sex with anyone

Not mentioned an attraction to anyone

Made no insinuation of lingering romantic feelings for anyone she has previously been involved with (with the exception of Timeline23!Alice but as she is not Our Alice she is not relevant)

Her attraction to and intimate interactions with Q have been nothing more than physical since season 1

They have slept together again multiple times but it was always because of some bigger emotional turmoil and not love

She said she didn’t want to get back together with him after the threesome and I think (in terms of a real relationship) she means that

But she used sex as a coping mechanism since Q was familiar/her closest friend and it made her feel like herself

I don’t think either of them have had genuine romantic feelings for each other for a while but U believe Alice’s went away faster (because she never really had them due to comp-het)

7. Gay Coding

A lot of aspects of this show are unambiguously queer-coded

There is no such thing as gay panic in this show so there is no need to be weirded out over gay stuff and if you are you are portrayed as the weird one (ex. Hymen)

Alice’s cold intelligence and manner is pretty lesbian coded

Her style is high femme and I will not be told otherwise

8. This doesn’t fit into a particular spot but…

When Q mentions the dream that Penny walked in to involving her and Julia kissing, her problem was not with herself kissing another girl or even that it was a kinda gross fantasy for Q but rather that Q was thinking about his former crush alongside her.

She doesn’t dwell on the gay of it all just the fact that Q is subconsciously thinking of his old crush

9. I would argue that Alice’s inability to find sexual pleasure with Q (until that one ep) is a ~problem~ on both of their parts.

Partially due to Quentin having no clue what to do

But I think mostly due to the fact that she doesn’t really feel sexually attracted to him

The one time it is “fulfilling” to them it is because they are trying to get Penny back

Alice is determined to get shit done so I’m sure she is capable of…. Fulfilling her part in getting Penny back even if she didn’t really feel as much as she should

As I’ve said, they never really have sex just because, there’s always an external factor (as far as we the viewer are aware)

10. She had more chemistry with Penny than with Q despite “loving” him

11. Her previous experiences

She was standing up and at a party for all of them according to her

These interactions are:

Impersonal

Likely the result of alcohol

Clearly not fond memories

12. Niffin!Alice and Dark!Willow are Very Similar in quite a few ways, enough said

13. Her feelings for Quentin feel like the “I’ve decided to have a crush now”

As I said, she only expresses interest in him once he has expressed interest in her

Crush comes out of nowhere

She seemed very professional with Q at first

She skips friendship and goes straight for crush

But the crush was really friendship

Her romantic feelings for him are contingent on how emotional she is

14. Alice awkwardly avoiding talking about the Incubus’ penis

She doesn’t wanna say penis lmao

15. New Addition: “But she and Q got back together!”

I felt the need to address this additional point and why it doesn’t effect my theory.

Once Alice left The Library she was a prop for the rest of the season.

Logically they have no reason to get back together as they’ve both been growing far more on their own than they did together.

I think her going back to him only serves to prove she is only with him because she desperately wants to feel loved even if she doesn’t quite understand her own feelings

Alice is reaching out to reconnect with Q in an attempt to gain some of her old self back

She knows she cares for him and that he cares for her and she automatically assumes that romance is the logical answer for those feelings

It’s comp-het babey

Them getting back together was a cheap ploy to add more emotional weight to Q’s death

If anything I feel it supports this theory

In conclusion, Alice Quinn is a lesbian. Send tweet

#this is a mess hopefully it's okay lol #watch me get hate on this even though i haven't actively done anything tm related since like april w egg nation #ill die on the lesbian alice hill #alice quinn #the magicians #tm #the formatting on this is so ugly on mobile I'm so sorry

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