what if i made poasts on my own damn blog.. haha just kidding....... unless?

Flowers for you

Kim Hongjoong x Reader

Summary: (Y/n) had been a stylist at KQ for a while now, and over time she ended up catching feelings for the charismatic leader of ATEEZ, HongJoong. But after acknowledging her feelings, a sickness came over her, sparking fear in her and Making HongJoong worry about her as well. (I suck at summaries ngl)

Tags: Angsty, Hanahaki Disease, mentions of blood, bodily pain, near death experience, sadness, but a happy ending!

Word Count: 2.8k

Taglist: @kimroieho @mingissoggywaffles @damissub @yungisstar1117 @beomnoi @wooyoungsbae @maarkcraft @blessednhighlyfavoured @do-you-actually-care @winterciella @soft-teddybear @sanraes

A/N: This is one of my favorite tropes to read, so I thought I would try my hand at it. Its a repost from my old blog joongsprincess!

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“Good Morning (y/n)!” “Morning Guys!”

I smiled at my colleagues, setting my bags down, doing a mini stretch before moving to the stations, a long day of work ahead of me. I work as one of the many stylists for the popular K-pop groups, ATEEZ, and with them in the middle of a comeback means my hands were filled.

As I began to take out my brushes and palettes, I could hear the playful chatter from outside, meaning that the group was nearing the room. I chuckled to myself only imagining what they could be talking about today, knowing it would probably be something silly.

“(y/n)! Pancakes or Waffles?”

As if on cue, San walked into the room, loudly asking me the random question. He made his way over to me and placed his arm around my shoulders, waiting on my answer. I thought for a second before chuckling a bit. “Um…I like both but I prefer waffles'' I answered, getting both cheers and groans in response.

“See Jongho! I told you~ (y/n) Likes waffles better!~” Wooyoung teased as he entered the room. Jongho crossed his arms, an adorable pout on his face, “(y/n) only said that to please you guys,” He mumbled, making me laugh. Yeosang entered alongside Yunho, who walked over to give me a hug before going to sit down. “Good Morning Yeosang, Morning Yuyu” I say, Yeosang waved over to me before going to sit himself. 

“I still think Pancakes are better..” 

“Well no one cares, San! It's settled, Waffles are better!”

I shook my head at their childish back and forth, finishing getting my station together, turning around to someone standing really close to my face.

“Good Morning (n/n), How are you?”

Jumping back slightly, I placed a hand over my chest, waving a brush at the culprit. HongJoong raised his hands up slightly, laughing before apologizing. 

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to scare you like that.” He said, his little laugh sending a warm feeling through my body. HongJoong never failed to light up my day, his cheerful nature and infectious smile always brought warmth to me. He was just a ray of sunshine, his laugh, his smile, his whole aura could light up a room, I just loved working with Joong.

But for the past few weeks, I would leave work and end up having a violent coughing fit, not just a minor one that someone could push off as allergies. One that would rattle my entire chest, leaving me dazed and in pain for at least an hour afterwards. I didn’t pay much attention at first, just simply buying some medicine to help with the pain and coughing.

But then flowers started appearing when I coughed. Each and every time, beautiful yellow rose petals would fly from my mouth flying around my apartment after one of my fits, and in the past week it started happening at work. I had to admit, it was scaring me, but I just shook it off, deciding to go to the doctor if it got any worse, seeing as I could somewhat handle it myself.

Pushing the negative thoughts away, I continued my conversations with the boys, watching as they all sat down in the styling chairs. Jongho called up Mingi to check in on him and nearly had me about to burst into tears on the job. 

All the boys then scurried around, trying to figure out who they wanted to be their stylist. HongJoong then moved to sit down in my chair and gave an award-winning smile. We had casual conversation, asking about the comeback material, about atiny, little things to pass the time. I was giggling at something Seonghwa had said when a violent cough hit me.

Leaning over and holding my chest, I watched as yellow petals left my mouth and floated down onto the floor. I managed to cover my mouth, my coughing slowing down until it suddenly stopped. HongJoong looked at me with wide eyes, a look of worry and confusion painted across his face. 

Glancing around, I noticed that everyone carried that same look, my fellow stylists had hands over their own mouths, everyone not knowing what to say.

It was Seonghwa who decided to break the silence first, Him walking over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Are you alright (y/n)?” He asked. I nodded slightly, giving him a small smile before my body made me make a beeline for the trash can. Once again, my body felt like it needed to cough up something, as if something were in it that was not supposed to be, and what I saw in the trash scared the hell out of me.

Yellow roses, covered in my blood were in the trash, and not just a few like I had been seeing before or what I coughed up a few seconds ago. It was whole roses, with multiple petals surrounding them.

Standing up straight up, I looked at my worried friends and colleagues before croaking out. “I-I’ll be right back” I saw them wince from how I sounded, Jae-Hee, the senior stylist finally spoke up with a caring smile on her face. 

“Don’t worry, go, we’ll take over for you.” She stated. 

With her words, I made my way out of the room, slowly trekking down the hallway towards the bathroom. The tightness in my chest felt like I was having a heart attack, I could hardly catch my breath and it felt like my throat was closing on me. I finally made it to the bathroom, managing to push open the door, nearly collapsing in, falling to my knees in front of the toilet.

Pulling my hair back, I coughed and coughed until I threw up, a burning and tingling sensation shooting through my entire body, making me bend over in pain. Sounds of pure agony were leaving my body, I didn't even recognize my own voice, cries of pains left me until my poor body had decided it had enough. Finally giving me a chance to raise my head up, my eyes widened at what was in front of me.

Multiple yellow roses, many with a little bit of the stem attached to them, covered in my blood and saliva, staining the beautiful color they once had. I fell back in fear, letting out a loud scream of pure shock.

I was struggling to catch my breath, no matter what I had done, the situation had gotten worse. “W-what’s going on with me?..” I whispered, placing a hand on my chest, the pain still there, but it was not as painful as it was a few moments ago. 

I reached into my pocket, quickly trying to search my condition up before another coughing fit came up, I scrolled through multiple pages before I found one, and I did not like what I was reading.

“Hanahaki disease is a disease in which the victim coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. It ends when the beloved returns their feelings (romantic love only; strong friendship is not enough), or when the victim dies..”

Scrolling my nerves weren't calmed with the next passage I read.

“There are also cases where the flowers are surgically removed, as are the victim's feelings of love, meaning they can no longer love the person they once loved. Sometimes this also removes their memories of the former beloved, or the victim's ability to ever love again. Often, the one suffering the disease will refuse the surgery, preferring to die rather than losing their feelings.”

I gasped and felt a feeling of fear just surged through my body, dropping my phone on the floor.

Was I going to die because of the love that I felt for HongJoong? And if I chose to get it removed…I have a chance of forgetting him and the love I once had?

A rapid knocking on the door scares me clean out of my thoughts, but I calmed down once I heard the voices on the other side.

“(Y/n)! Are you Okay? We heard you scream..” Hongjoong said through the door, his voice sounded hurt, filled with worry and concern.

 I mentally slapped myself, I don’t want to put anymore stress upon the male, I could feel tears well up in my eyes but I quickly wiped them away.

 “(y/n), please let us know you are alright, I don’t want to have to kick down this door.” 

That was Seonghwa, and not feeling like being hit with a door, I wobbled, standing up, opening the door slightly. The two males stood at the door, HongJoong held a water bottle and a towel in his arms, and Seonghwa had pain medicine. 

I gave them a weak smile, feeling another strike of pain travel through me, giving them a small wave I finally spoke. “I’m fine…Just allergies messing with me.” I say, once again wanting to slap myself because of the bullshit answer, and apparently the males in front of me that it was too.

“(Y/n), You really need to go take a rest, Your skin is looking a bit pale..” Hongjoong said softly, handing me the water bottle. I accepted it and opened it, taking a small sip, even the normally refreshing drink sent a burning feeling down my throat. Hissing slightly in pain, I hand him back the bottle and begin to walk past them only to get stopped by Seonghwa.

 “And where do you think you’re going missy?”

He asked, an eyebrow cocked. “I’m going back to work Seonghwa, I still have to get you guys ready.” I say, moving past him, I only get a few steps away before getting pulled back into someone's chest, the only other person who was there was Joong, and low and behold, that’s who I was pressed against.

He then pulled me into a hug.

My body froze upon the sudden contact, HongJoong sighed softly before he began to speak. “Please, Listen to us (y/n), you’re scaring me right now, Go home and get rest.” He muttered, his voice a bit shaky. 

I felt awful, the last thing I wanted was for the boys to worry about me, my health wasn’t really important, I saw them as my top priority. I slightly pushed HongJoong back, which only made him look at me with a hurt expression. I averted my gaze to the ground before letting out a sigh of my own. 

“I can work guys, I’ll just take some pain medicine, sit down for a few minutes and then I’ll be okay…” I began trailing off as my legs started feeling weak, I tried to stop myself from falling but it was too late, I had already lost my balance and was about to topple over.

HongJoong moved quickly to catch me in his arms, he placed a hand on my forehead, his hand felt so cold against me. I felt so hot, like I was burning up on the inside, the previous pain from earlier came rearing its ugly head once again, making me cry out in pain.

“Screw going home, we’re taking you to the hospital.”

I shook my head, trying to move but Joong had an iron grip on me, he looked down at me with a stern look, one that I normally only saw when he was getting the group together for a performance. It sent a shiver down my spine, and I would have blushed if I weren’t in so much pain. 

I heard many footsteps coming towards us, turning my head I could see the rest of the group rushing towards us, I had a weak smile on my face.

Their figures were starting to become blurry as they got closer, matter of fact, the whole world around me was spinning, and little rainbow dots began to fill my vision. My body wanted to sleep, but I knew that I should not, my eyes were growing heavier and heavier 

“h-hongjoong…” I whimpered, raising my hand to touch his cheek, his worried face being the last thing I saw before I slipped into unconsciousness.

“Y/n? Y/n! Stay with me! Stay awake please! Guys Hurry!”

“(y/n) please…stay with me, I lov-“

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I watched as HongJoong laughed with another girl, His arms wrapped around her waist, Her arms around his neck. I could feel my chest tighten, tears were already spilling from my eyes, I wanted to scream out to him, and let him know how I truly felt.

I tried to scream out to him but my words were gone from me, my voice was gone. I was left helpless on the ground reaching out for him. Watching him walk away from me, happy with someone else.

Someone that wasn’t me.

I could feel vines begin to ensnare my lungs, stems began shooting out of the ground, wrapping around my limbs and trapping me against the ground.

I felt hot tears run down my face as I began choking, until a large yellow rose sprouted from my mouth.

“You look so pretty, Love is such a pretty yet deadly thing isn’t it~”

I cried out, trying to struggle my way out of the restraints I was bound in.

“(y/n)…”

“(Y/n).”

 “(Y/n)!”

I jolted up out of bed looking around scared and confused, nearly ripping the IV drip from my arm. I looked around the room realizing I was in a hospital room, the beeping of the heart monitor beside me was the only sound in the room.

“(y/n) thank god..”

I looked to my left and saw Hongjoong, now in a comfortable hoodie and sweatpants, the poor boy looked like he had not slept at all. He quickly scooted closer to my beside, gripping my hand and holding on for dear life. His gaze was on my hands until I felt something wet hit my hand.

He was crying.

“HongJoong?...” I called to him, placing my other hand on top of his, hoping that he would look at me. He eventually did, his face had a look of pure pain and fear on it, tears streaming down his face.

 “Why?” he asked, I looked at him confused. 

“Why what Joong-"

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” 

He suddenly yelled, making me wince at his sudden loud tone, his voice shakey filled with many raw emotions. “why didn’t you tell me you were dying…” He muttered softly, him laying across my body, letting choked sobs leave him, the scene in front of me absolutely broke my heart.

"Why didn't you tell me you were dying because of me!?

“I-I thought I could handle this myself Joong.”

“Well obviously not!” He yelled again, looking me dead in the eyes, he moved closer to me until we were only centimeters apart. 

“I love you too much to let you do this to yourself…”

I could feel his breath tickling my lips, so I decided to close the gap, pressing my lips against his. I saw his eyes widen then soften as he moved to deepen the kiss, he wrapped his arms around my body, holding me against him as if he were to let go I would vanish.

 I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest, the tightness that had been plaguing me for weeks on end finally gone. 

I slowly pulled away from Hongjoong, making the male whine in response, but a smile came over his features anyways. “You don’t have to fight this again (n/n), we’re in this together from now on.” He said, placing his hand on my cheek cupping it gently.

He places a sweet kiss on my cheek, staring lovingly into my eyes. We both jumped at the sudden entrance of the doctor holding what looked like an x-ray result. She chuckled at us and walked over, Hongjoong moved back over to the chair he was sitting in. 

“You are really Lucky Ms. (L/n), I thought we were going have to operate on you, I’ve never seen a case this bad clear up so quickly.” She said, taking a seat on the other side of me. Hongjoong looked over at me, holding my hand tightly. The doctor must have sensed his unease because she quickly continued talking. 

“Oh But luckily it cleared up! You’re all good now, but we’re going to keep you here for a couple more days in case it comes back.” HongJoong shook his head, before speaking up himself, “It won’t come back! Not as long as I’m with her.”

He said proudly, making me blush in embarrassment. She chuckled at his remark and nodded along. “I’m very glad she has you then. I’ll be back in a few to check on you again.” She smiles at the two of us before standing up and heading out.

Once Hongjoong heard the door close he chuckled softly to himself. “You know (y/n), once we get out of here.” He began coming over to place a kiss on my cheek, placing his hand on my thigh.

“I promise to get you real flowers, To replace the ones you suffered to give me”

I chuckle at him and shake my head slightly, giggling at the cute offer.

“No offense Joongie-Bear, But I don’t want to see another flower again for a while”

He chuckled himself, wrapping his arms around my body, pulling me close to him once again.

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Hi! First off, thank you for helping resurrect this fandom! Do you think you could please do the SFW alphabet for Larry? Thank you!

No Anon, thank you! I wouldn’t be able to do this without you guys! Alrighty, enough rambling *cracks knuckles* Let's do this! 

WARNINGS: Swearing(?) and slight angst

A = Activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time?)

- He loves just being with his S/O in general. Touch is his love language so prepare for cuddling or just you two holding each other.

- Just imagine Larry painting in his room on a rainy day, you can hear the rain against the window and Sanity’s fall being played at a low volume. While Larry is moving the brush along with the paper, you have your arms around his waist, your face in the crook of his neck, basking in the scent of pine, cheap cologne and a slight hint of smoke and paint.

B = Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

- Ummm, LITERALLY EVERYTHING! He likes your looks, your personality EVERYTHING BITCH! 

C = Comfort (how do they help their s/o when they feel down? what makes them feel better?)

- Larry thinks that he’s not good at comforting people but he actually is decent. If you want to be alone, he’s going to find it hard but he’ll respect it. If you need someone to talk to or you just want to be held, Larry’s fine doing that,

D = Dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o and in general?)

- He doesn't really picture his future often, he’s kind of a ‘go with to flow kinda guy’ wherever life goes, it takes him. But that doesn't stop him from thinking about probably proposing to you someday or even having a kid or having a few pets.

E = Equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship or are they rather passive?)

- Although you are pretty much equal he comes off more dominant sometimes. He feels a need to protect you and take care of you, although that concludes in him bottling up his own feelings and wants to be the one taken care of for once.

F = Fight (how quick are they to forgive their s/o? what are they like in an argument? who says sorry first?)

- Larry can be stubborn sometimes, but he’s the one to apologise first. Although he needs some alone time. 

G = Gifts (what kind of things do they gift to their s/o? are they spontaneous or do they stick to special events like anniversaries?)

- He’s kinda spontaneous with his gifts, but he can’t really afford it so it’s going to be something cheap or something he made or found

H = Heart Eyes (what are they like in love? is it obvious to others? how do they express their love? do they brag about their s/o to others?)

- Obvious as hell. Locks eyes with you CONSTANTLY even when not meaning to, stutters, rubs the back of his neck also that boy can blush like hell.

- Larry expresses his love through touch. He always has to be touching his S/O, like holding their hand, an arm around their waist or shoulders etc.

- He doesn't really brag to his friends but he does brag to people who are mean to him or his S/O

I = Impression (what first attracted them to their s/o? how accurate was their first impression of how their s/o actually is?)

- What first attracted him to you was your overall aura and your looks. You were just so pretty and he could feel your presence from a mile off

J = Jealousy (do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?)

- He hardly gets jealous, he knows he can trust you but earlier on in the relationship he just couldn’t help it.

K = Kiss (are they a good kisser? what was their first kiss like? where do they kiss the most?)

- He was not a good kisser when you met him. You definitely weren't his first kiss but he needed some practice. He’s a quick learner and gets better sometime in the relationship. 

- Your first kiss was kinda awkward since his nose got in the way but you got there in the end, it was sweet but messy at the same time. 

- Larry kisses you pretty much everywhere and anywhere, but his favourite places to kiss you are your lips, cheek and neck but if he’s feeling extra spicy (I am so sorry) he kisses your inner thighs and the top of your breasts.

L = Little Things (what are the little things they love about their s/o? are they attentive?)

- He’s pretty attentive and likes the little things about you such as freckles, birthmarks, stretch marks, moles, boobs.

- Larry likes pretty much anything and everything.

M = Marriage (do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the wedding be like?)

- He wants to get married ngl but if you don’t end up getting married it doesn't matter. 

N = Nicknames (what do they call their s/o? what do they get called?)

- Babe, baby, sweetheart, kitten, some other extremely cheesy but cute nickname

- He likes being called pet names/nicknames, he doesn't have a set preference but he does like the usual ‘babe’ or the occasional ‘love’

O = Open (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? is it easy for them to share?)

- He’s pretty open with his S/O, sometimes a bit too open. 

- Larry’s a pretty honest guy, so he keeps nothing from you but it’s depending on the degree of what it is. 

P = Pancakes (are they a good cook? how often do they cook for their s/o? breakfast in bed or fancy dinner dates?)

- He sees himself as a decent cook, but he normally just helps Lisa and doesn't actually cook anything. 

- He really wants to do things like dinner dates and breakfast in bed but he’ll burn down the whole complex before you even think of it. 

Q = Quirk (a random quality/ability that is beneficial to their relationship.)

- Larry’s already pretty strong and is even stronger when he started working out, so including touch as his love language he loves to pick you up out of nowhere are swing you around, or cuddle you. 

R = Romance (how romantic are they? are they cliché or creative?)

- Larry is pretty romantic and creative with your dates but he can’t help but be cliché sometimes 

S = Sleep (who falls asleep first? do they need their s/o close to them? do they have any bad habits?)

- Larry’s sleeping schedule is all over the place, but sometimes he’d rather have you fall asleep first so he could watch you (in a non-creepy way) and just hold you.

- Larry also snores and is a pretty light sleeper, he’ll feel you leaving the bed to go to the bathroom and pull you back in. 

T = Thrill (do they need to spice up their relationship with new things or do they stick to a routine? how often do they do new things?)

- It’s in the middle, although Larry is fine with routine after a long while he or you need to spice things up a bit

U = Unity (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? what traits do they share?)

- You helped him feel more confident in himself, you’ve also helped him process things that could’ve been self-destructive as a result.

V = Value (how important is their relationship to them? what is it worth compared to other things in their life?)

- His relationship, his friends and his mom is worth EVERYTHING to him. 

W = Wild Card (a random fluff headcanon.)

- Larry likes dancing with you, only slow dancing really. He also likes using you as a model for his art projects. 

- Sometimes he just holds you and tells you how special you are to him and how much he loves and cares about you.

X = XOXO (do they like to kiss and cuddle? are they upfront about their relationship or rather shy when in public?)

- Larry is fine with kissing and cuddling in public, he’s also quite upfront about your relationship, he likes showing how much he loves you.

Y = Yearning (how do they cope when they spend time away from their s/o? do they miss their s/o?)

- He copes well, it’s not that he doesn't care, it’s really because he knows that you're coming back. He does miss you though and contacts you when your away.

Z = Zoo (do they have pets? do they want some in the future?)

- He does like animals and he’s fine with getting literally any animal.

Culture and Translation - S01 E04

Slowly getting through these, although they’re out of order. I’ll post an index when I’m done with season 1. 🤦‍♂️

CLIP 1: A wild mom appears

22:30 is a perfectly cromulent time to have dinner in Spain, but ngl, I’d have it a bit earlier on a school night. Eva’s supposed to be at school at 8:30.

Eva is eating the Hacendado store-brand “natillas de vainilla” from Mercadona (vanilla custard). Lol can you imagine that Skam España gets enormous, and people from abroad make trips to Mercadona because of Skam España?

Pesada (“annoying”): Okay, I love “pesada” because it literally translates as “heavy,” but it actually means that someone is being annoying/nagging to the point where it feels tiring to put up with them. There’s an idiom in Spanish: “eres más pesado que una vaca en brazos” (you’re heavier than carrying a cow bridal-style) and I find the visual hilarious.

CLIP 2: Carrying their bags for some reason

This clip dropped at 11:39, but the characters are all carrying their bags and backpacks. You don’t take your backpack out for recess. You leave it in the classroom and take the valuable stuff with you. We don’t have lockers.

Ni de reojo (“Not even a glance”):  Looking at someone “de reojo” is looking at them from the corner of your eyes, but that’d have been too long.

Bien, normal (“Good, fine”): In Spain we often use “normal” to respond to small talk (how are you doing, what’s the weather like, how was dinner with your family, stuff like that). I went with fine, as I haven’t really heard “normal” being used that way in English.

CLIP 3: Are these our biology buddies?

I do like the juxtaposition of Eva telling Nora everything is fine, only for Eva to UNLOAD on Lucas the very next clip.

I can’t watch this clip without remembering that I did the Social Sciences track of Baccalaureate, and yet, I had to translate a fucking optical microscope exercise for Skam. This fucking show.

Es que es muy heavy, Eva (“You crossed a line, Eva”): I also really like the Spanish slang “heavy.” It comes from heavy metal, and it’s meant to bring to mind the intensity of the harder heavy metal bands. And hey! It shows up on Urban Dictionary with the same meaning: Serious and intense, but also too much. I think this might be outdated slang in the US?

Y yo estaba rayada (“And I was going crazy”): I’m pretty sure that to be “rayado” comes from “discos rayados,” i.e. skipping records. When you’re “rayado,” you are stuck on a specific thought or emotion to the point of obsession or being unable to move past it. It’s NOT “sounding like a broken record,” as in English, because being “rayado” is internal. You’re stuck on a continuous loop within your own mind. It comes up several times throughout the show, and I’m pretty sure I used a different expression each time because nothing felt quite right.  

Tú qué vas a decir (“Like you’d say anything different”): The literal translation would be, “what are you going to say.” However, that sounded like it could be a question, even a rhetorical one, when Eva is throwing Lucas’ words back in his face.

CLIP 4: Carrot cake

Carrot cake is a relatively new import in Spain. I think it’s trendy for coffee shops to have it on their menus now. Since it’s so recent, it was adopted with its English name, rather than the Spanish translation. This also applies to brownies, pancakes (which were actually called “tortitas” for a while, but now it’s become trendier to call them pancakes), muffins and cupcakes.

Aquí os quedáis (“I’m out”): Lucas actually says, “you stay here,” but the connotation is that Lucas is leaving because he’s Done with Eva and Jorge. Eva and Jorge can choose to stay or leave or do whatever, but Lucas is leaving and not taking Eva and/or Jorge with him.

Que aproveche, chicos (“Enjoy, you two”): Enjoy, as in enjoy your meal, of course! “Chicos” could be translated as “kids,” and when the teachers use it, I do translate it as kids. But the waitress is calling Eva and Jorge “chicos” just because they’re younger than her, not because she’s calling them children. You are either young enough to be “chicos” or old enough to be “señores.”

I mean, if Lucas is going to parent trap them, he could’ve at least paid for the cake. This entrapment with an unpaid bill is kinda rude!

CLIP 5: Nailing Viri

Eva has a palmera in her hand! See Wikipedia for info on this supposedly palm leaf-shaped pastry. The picture captioned “Pig’s ears” is closer to the one Eva has in this clip,

Un clavo saca otro clavo (“there are other fish in the sea”): The literal translation is, “a nail takes out other nail,” as in, the construction kind of nail. The connotations of both sayings are a little different. “There are other fish in the sea” has the connotation that you’ve been dumped, but there are plenty of people in the world for you to explore. “A nail takes out another nail” can mean you’ve been dumped or that your love is unrequited, and that the only way to get over it is to find someone new asap. I also found a debate in a translation forum over whether the nail in the idiom means a dick, as in, only by hopping on another dick you can get over the previous dick, and I can honestly say I have no idea if the idiom is about dicks or not.

Viri con la mierda (“Viri with the junk”): Viri actually says “Viri with the shit.” Haha. This girl squad is so gentle and well-spoken.

Quick note on grades: Grades can be 0 to 10, where 10 is the highest grade. You pass with a 5. Anything under 5 is a “failing” grade. 5 through 5.99 is a “passing” grade. 6 through 6.99 is a “good” grade. 7 through 8.99 is a “notable” grade. 9 through 10 is an “excellent” grade. Once you’re in university, you can also get an “honor roll” grade. Only one or two students can get that grade on a specific course. As far as I know, “honor roll” does not exist as a grade in Spanish primary schools, middle schools or high schools.

Encima se pica (“She goes and gets ticked off”): “Picar” literally translates to “to itch” or “to sting” (such as a bee or a wasp sting). If something “te pica” in the slang sense, it means something has offended you, and the speaker thinks it shouldn’t have. There’s a saying, “si te pica, te rascas,” which translates to, “if it itches, then scratch yourself.” It means that if the tea has been too hot, you don’t get to lash out, you need to deal with it. Cris is indignant that she’s trying to help Viri out by telling her the truth straight up, and Viri is offended, instead of grateful.

Una chica de cuarto (“A fourth grader”): Fourth grader as in being in her fourth year of Mandatory Secondary Education! A grade below the girl squad.

CLIP 6: Underage drinking  

I don’t know where that tunnel is, and I desperately want to know. On that note, I was so fucking chuffed when the clip came out. I really didn’t think they’d even attempt a street drinking scene. They obviously had to have it a secluded place in order to keep the shooting a secret, but it works.

Okay, so my personal take on the call to prayer scene is this. The clip dropped at 20:07 on the 6th of October, and Isha (the fifth prayer) happened at 19:08 at the very latest. (There are several methods of calculation.) So Amira probably did pray before meeting up with the girls. However, once she took in their initial reactions, Amira might’ve wanted to see exactly how badly the girls would take it, so she pushed a bit harder. Committing to praying five times a day might also be new for Amira, and so she might’ve wanted to test those waters. Ngl, asking her to do it somewhere where nobody sees Amira is with them is pretty fucking bad.

A buenos días (“Good morning”): Jorge is doing one of his voices here. I guess he sounds a little like a rural old man. And yes, he says “good morning” even though it’s visibly dark outside the tunnel, lol.

There’s a conversation happening below the camera line and a bit aways from the mics. It’s hard to catch all of it, But Lucas drops the bag with the ice cubes and tells people to help themselves. Dilan grabs ice cubes with his bare hands, and Hugo calls him out for being gross. Dilan asks Hugo why he minds. Tbf to Dilan, a botellón is usually a gross affair with drinks being spilled, vomit, and sometimes piss, so touching the ice with your hands is small potatoes in comparison, lol.

Verdad o atrevimiento (“Truth or Dare”): For the record, the version I played was called Beso, Verdad o Atrevimiento (Kiss, Truth or Dare). I guess there’s a larger English language influence that’s made it more authentic to drop the Kiss option from the name, if not from the dares themselves.

Va lanzada (“going for it”): Lucas says Cris is “lanzada,” which literally translates to being launched, or going as fast as something being launched. Such as a rocket, for instance.

Pa mala yo (“I’m the badass”): Cris is quoting the Aitana and Ana Guerra song Lo Malo, which comes up again later in the season. The gist of the quote is that Cris has no need for bad boys, when she can be a bad girl herself.

Le dio un amarillo (“she had a whitey”): In case you’ve never heard of “a whitey” before, you can find a detailed explanation on Urban Dictionary, which corresponds 1:1 with the Spanish expression.  I had to do a lot of research to find the best translation, so pls appreciate!

Fue muy borde contigo (“He was an ass to you”): “Borde” is yet another classic Spanish slang words. To be “borde” is to be rude for no reason. While it’s slang. It’s not a swear word, and it’s not rude to use. I went with “ass” as I figured it comes across as softer than “asshole.”

CLIP 7: Safety considerations are ignored

Both this clip and the clip before (which dropped at 20:07) generated a discussion in Spanish fandom spaces, specifically about when Spanish teens go out and what their curfews are. Lots of people felt Eva and her friends are going out too early and going back home early, as well. Part of the discussion has to do with something the remakes have shied away from: dropping clips at ungodly hours. As some might remember, during Isak’s season, clips would drop at 3 am because Isak was insomniac. So far, the remakes have held back on dropping clips during hours the target audience may not be awake to react to them, generate discussion on social media, etc.

Spanish people have a (not unearned) reputation of starting the party after dinner time (so 22:00-23:00) until dawn. That said, every teen has their own set of parents with their own set of rules. Personally, I didn’t have a curfew, but we were generally partied out by 4 am.

That said, if I’d been as wasted as Eva is in this clip, I’d have headed home at midnight, sure. Mostly ‘cause I’d have wanted to nap it out.

It makes me smile that Eva and Jorge are jay-walking. There’s no penalty for doing so in Spain, by the way. And especially in small towns or villages, where traffic is light and sidewalks not wide enough for more than one person, it is far more common for people to walk down the middle of the road, rather than using the sidewalks.

I don’t understand how Eva’s house works, by the way. That door makes it look like Eva lives in a detached house with a front yard, a fence and a gate. But we know from other clips that you can show up at Eva’s front door without needing to be let in through a gate. Also, there’s no window by the gate. You can definitely see a window by the door in the final clip.

My friends were shocked and appalled that Jorge would leave without ensuring Eva got inside her house safely, since she was so drunk and it’s past midnight. Grudges have been held.

The gagging noises at the 18:54 mark are poetic cinema.

i’m going to start off this post with an apology for disappearing again, especially before valentine’s day. i was trying to hold back from doing it so i could spend the 14th with you and finally ask you out on a date but my need to ghost prevailed and well. yeah. it’s been rough like it hasn’t been in months, (and i think you understood it since i haven't posted here in days) but i guess it is because i’ve been dealing with constant uneasiness? i’m actually not sure what’s wrong, though. do you ever feel anxious even when things are going well? like, you cannot sleep or focus on your work or do anything really because you’re too busy feeling overwhelmed? it’s horrible, especially when you cannot pinpoint the reason and so you end up just locking yourself away. we're going to blame mercury retrograde and not my mental health, tho. especially since sun and mercury are in pisces. 🤕 🤢 i’m sorry for being so distant both physically and emotionally and just... not being there for you. the worst thing about me ghosting is in fact not knowing what to say once i feel better. i can write here rather easily but the moment i have to dm you i feel awkward and guilty and i never know how to act... i’m not good at saying sorry but appearing randomly after days without saying anything makes me feel even worse, so i never know how to be. but anyway, that’s not what I want to talk about in this message. i needed to feel better the other day so i checked the padlet and found the message that you wrote a month ago… it hit me a lot and kinda really resonated with me. it sucks how late I saw it and I feel really bad since you opened up to me so well and idk, it’s like i looked down at your effort by not replying immediately, even though it was involuntarily. but i cannot just ignore it so here’s my (late) reply to all of that. first of all, let me tell you how much i appreciate the straightforwardness of that message. it gave me an input on how you have been feeling and it also made me feel closer to you, especially considering the fact that i can strongly relate. not gonna lie, I hadn’t cried (like, actually cried with sobs and all that shit) in months but i couldn’t even reach the middle of the message because i literally couldn’t see SHIT. knowing you have been struggling with these emotions is… devastating? to try and explain: it’s like the whole world came crashing down. this whole ghosting thing isn’t something i can actually get mad at you for, because i know how exhausting life can get and how comforting being alone can be. as you can see, i do that a lot, too…  which is why i make “excuses” for you. of course, when it gets to three weeks it stings and i do get annoyed at times . but it’s not something i will crucify you over? especially because it would be super hypocritical of me. so, please, don’t ever think that you’re “taking advantage of me” or whatever, because you’ve been nothing but amazing to me for the past years and i literally /know/ that i couldn’t do better than this even if i tried to. you’re one of the few good things in my life rn and if i haven’t gone completely insane yet is thanks to you too. and while i'm happy you do know that i sincerely treasure you a whole lot, i can't help but get worried because of you being insecure. you're human and like everyone else, you experience lack of confidence, and honestly i'm glad you told me about it. more than insecure, i’d say i’m way too paranoid for my own good. i often get ugly thoughts that try to make others look like they’re out to get me and i always have to stop, take a deep breath and remind myself that not everyone is trying to hurt me, but i also get those moments of "what if". what if i say this and sound weird or what if i talk too much about myself and make royal uncomfortable by coming off as vain. and there are times where i hesitate or straight up don’t post on the blog because i don’t want to burden you with /my/ emotions, so i understand that too well. but we've talked about this so many times: we both have to fix these problems, but you know it won't happen overnight and every single little step counts, even if it requires lots of courage and trust. i don't think you realize how happy it makes me when you reach out randomly or open up to me directly. it makes me feel trusted, worthy and useful, so please don't villainize yourself for being human and wanting to share your feelings with others. you're far from being toxic and you need to finally understand that you're not putting any kind of pressure on me and being able to help you, even if just by listening, helps me as well. we deal with situations and feelings that are similar and i've found a solution to my problems the times we've opened up to each other. but lol. that part right there about you being self serving pissed me off so fucking bad, you have no idea. when i say i cannot find a single flaw in you, i mean it. i know it might sound fake or exaggerated but it's true. you’re one of the kindest and most selfless people i know and it's hard to even imagine you as selfish or “self serving”. i want you to think for a minute. do you think you’ve ever done anything to me to get you the title of self serving? i have a really good memory when it comes to you and i can assure you are far from being that. you have NEVER asked for anything, you have NEVER made me feel wrong or treated me badly. obviously i don't know what happened in your previous relationship and even after * dmed me to befriend me and then ask me to deliver you that message, i’ve been meaning to ask you about your dating history since i don’t think i have ever seen you as upset as you were those times, but it felt like i was being nosy and out of place so i just sucked it up and moved on. ngl though, i have been curious about it. both because i want to learn something new about you and because i want to be prepared. i told you about keo and how he mostly affected my self-esteem, so i kinda feel bad for not knowing about what has affected /you/ in the past. folds hands. let me also add something. me being scared of confrontation isn’t an excuse for us to avoid talking directly about certain things. if we keep on avoiding any kind of serious talking 1) i’ll never learn how to deal with it 2) i think we’ll be missing out on a huge part of relationships and on the long run it will show. and i’m not exactly scared of confrontation. i’m scared of hurting you by saying something wrong. i get so defensive /and/ passive aggressive for no reason when i feel the mood shift and it makes me say really mean things just to get a reaction out of people. but i’ll never be able to fix it if i don’t start talking with my own partner. but still. you’ll have to be the one to bring it up if you want to because i’m still a scaredy-cat after all and i’ll never start anything. <3 you have also talked about me deserving better and it reminded me of all the times i’ve said you do deserve someone better and you said that you don’t care because i’m the one you want. it goes both ways, really. there is someone out there for me, even more than one person, but just like there is someone else out there for you too. but it literally does not matter to me if someone is waiting, because i don’t want them. i want You. you're the love of my life and my best friend and i seriously cannot imagine my life without you. i can promise you that i will be here by your side. we can be scared of being vulnerable together. LMFAOOOOO WHY IS THIS SO LONG I'M SO SORRY FUCK AND I AM NOT EVEN DONE SINCE YOU POSTED ANOTHER MESSAGE ON THE PADLET AND I WANNA REPLY TO THAT TOO. yes it takes me days to reply to one (1) singular message yes i live like this. anyway the latest message put me in such a good mood. your care package isn't here yet but i can already tell that it is going to work perfectly. but?! your hobby is literally naming pets after food or things and honestly? i respect that life. i still remember when you talked about wanting to get a cat to name it pancake. 🥺 i hope you took pictures of your friend's dog, though. 😡 and on god i knew something was gonna happen to you. kisses your wrist and puts a bandaid on it. the fact that you're still running around sleep-deprived and with a sprained wrist is so You. fucking sagittarius sun gemini rising headass. but OMFG I USED TO LISTEN TO THAT SONG WHEN I WAS A KID. you brought back so many memories. </3 while my baby was being a busy bee, i was busy being Lazy. my week has been kinda ok? i've been spending my days watching stuff on netflix but now i'm sad because i saw a possible spoiler of the drama that i am currently watching aND . I DIDN'T SPEND THE LAST FOUR DAYS CRYING FOR THEM TO PULL THIS SHIT. also since there is straight up a coronavirus outbreak in my region, all the schools are closed and the shops have to close down at 6pm so i don't have to work at the office this week! a win! kinda! if we ignore the reason why i can stay home! will that stop me from going out though? absolutely not. x today i went to the gym despite the warnings lolz and i even passed out so fr who's doing it like me! then i went grocery shopping and i napped for like 6 hours. i had an appointment with my old school's head master scheduled for tomorrow since we have to talk about uni and stuff but they cancelled it :/// so i'll spend my day maybe doing some work and Sleeping. anyway. this message is a big mess but  i mith you so bad and i feel so shitty for disappearing and i'm over being a ghost so! we're sleeping together tonight. :)