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#weird side of da
bloodrock-lobster · 6 months
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Okay so here's a question, because literally EVERYONE gives me shit about this
note: I know skunk and weed can smell similar but that's not the controversial question here
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the-acid-pear · 25 days
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Y'know I really feel like Harry and Dave's relationship goes highly unexplored which is a shame because there IS quite a bit to explore, ESPECIALLY if you care about shipping. But as the game stands I mean, they must be aware of each other. Harry in fact definitely knows about Dave. I don't think he'd tell the fucking weird rotten bunny his terrible boss brought in IS the number one threat against Freddy's since day 1 but even so. Dave I don't think would see Harry as much more than A Phoney™ though, which is always more of an obstacle and way less of a person. Which is usually opposite of how Jack sees his often sole employee. Like, you get what I mean? It's almost similar to 2 with the main opposing routes being Peter and Dave except the stakes are arguably way lower now.
#luly talks#dsaf#dsaf harry#dsaf dave#harry fitzgerald#dave miller#if you DO care about shipping however the meat to chew on becomes greater#i think dave bond w Phoneys in general goes fairly unexplored which is once again A Shame bc i do like the hypocrisy he holds#in more than one way they mirror each other#now im just getting emotional and derailed now im literally just thinking of steven that's NOT da point now 💥💥💥#point is i do think you'd take this to a weird domesticating route or simply a more. goofy love triangle one#i mean dave does say he'll win Jack back which is peak divorced line#so its like. a tug war. except Harry isn't like peter who was like employee for the love of god i need your help#harry is pretty passive like Sir. This is urgent but it is your choice ☹️#sorry my meds are kicking in what am i even saying anymore?#i feel like that NyQuil post im for sure gonna shit the bed tonight#i digress anyway point being i think you'd go many places with this concept#you'd just have them coexist in a way the game doesn't explore. you'd have it just plaguing Jack's mind.#you'd have a one sided rivalry. you'd have a STRAIGHT UP RIVALRY. you'd have tragedy and agony in planet earth#which i saw be touched up on once by that one artist who draws jack like he never left the 80s mullet and all. muppety too.#iykyk there's like 6 harrysport artists overall you'll figure what i mean#and yeah you'd even have a somewhat functional jack having two hands. which is something taps chest i truly think could happen#i believe un love and peace and chsnge and healing and#and copium first and foremost ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️#my body feels so heavy its hard to leep my eyes open
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cathyac · 10 days
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X-Men 97 Episode 9 Spoilers
Ok the way Jubilee and Roberto fought scratched a part in my brain that I didn’t know needed to be scratched
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eclipsecrowned · 7 months
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should i be as mean to da as i am on discord just bc gb3 came out and told a different story? i mean. yeah. yeah it really is showing how bad their gb fanfic got tbh.
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friendscfmine · 5 months
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christophe: ugh kpop is so stupid and overrated 😒
christophe, behind closed doors: you know who it is... comin' 'round again... you wanNA DOSE OF THIS RIGHT NOW...
ITSKDAUNH!!!!
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satellite-blossom · 6 months
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Sick coloring and shading, dude ❢ Unfortunately I don't like how you draw Sonic the hedgehog so I'll have to blacklist your blog because I don't want to block you.
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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AAAANYways. look at the map ive been working on :]
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#its actually rlyyy unfortunate bc ive been spending all day sprucing it up it ws originally just generated by the globe making site i like#and then i realized that i dont quitee know how to make the height map.. the original generation it ws rly easy i just made the map#grayscale and then futzed with it a little bit and i got it looking rly good..but im the process of lining everything to make it easier to#comprehend they got too seperate from eachother sighs. so i might have to go in and manually add more transitional colors#but the trouble is id have to do that for the height map AND the normal map which is also a geographical map..#also its rly weird. on da site i rly prefer the look of the 3d heightmap#rather than 2d just adding like shadows your know#but when i do the 3d it gets this huge black blotch that i cant for the life of me get rid of#and it rly sucks. bc i think its sooo cute when i have the height map intensity set pretty high#bc it makes da planet look small..#but yas. and i cant just use the uhmm original height map#bc i made some pretttyy extensive edits#not rly. mainly i#well its hard t talk abt bc its all technically one continent but that ties into what i changed#bc i didnt realize it was all one continent bc on the original map it generated it was cut up rly weird#and i couldnt get it to fit as one thing. so i went in and smushed some aprts closer together#the biggest is umm the bottom right corner#the top part of that mass USED to hang down below and to the rifht#and bled over to the other side of the image#i moved that and the top left land mass to be closer to the top right#so i could fit it all together...#and the hright map thing wouldnt be an issue if the 3d height map thing was working. it just looks sliiiightly wonky with the 2d height map#i also need to smooth out the whole thing bc i used a digital brush like an IDIOT and i dont like how that looks when its on the sphere#oh also do u guys wanna see the globe of it.. grins#ik i was already doing this awhile ago but ohwell.#once i get it wayyy more finalized like. once ive added in major settlements and the like. id love to try to make an actual globe of it..#i wanna get it to a point im rly happy with FIRST bc otherwise ill change things on the globe#and then ill get annoyed bc i wont be able to transfer the irl globe into a digital one#bc thats what happened last time when i sketched a world on a ball. grins.#hopefully i dont drop this one like i did with that one.. idt i will since i have an accurate flat map thats literally made to be a globe
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hopefulqueer · 1 year
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what do u do when it's week 10 of ur 3rd to last college term and ur so sick that u dont know if u'll be able to do literally anything for the foreseeable future. if ur so unbearably fatigued that standing up to get food or take the dog outside or go to the bathroom leaves u exhausted for like an hour and by then u have to get up again to do something else, and thinking is impossible and frequently typing takes too much energy and also u don't know when u'll feel better so it's not like asking for an extension will do shit bc there's only 2 weeks left of the whole term and not finishing something on time means at this point it will never get done
i'm tired*
*drastic understatement for ironic effect
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intertexts-moving · 6 months
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hhjhgbbhhhh
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danielnelsen · 2 years
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trying to think of the best class for a dai solo playthrough.. like on one hand im glad they finally made all the classes important but it really makes this a tough choice
as far as i know, no class-specific abilities are required for story progression? but they are for some side quests.
rogues still probably have the most utility (especially with the lockpicking perk) but im gonna have to spend more time looking into everywhere class-specific abilities are used to actually decide……
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waywardsalt · 1 month
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>:3
#i feel like sisyphus in this job space tonight so assorted bellumbeck thoughts go#tryjng to not touch on the stuff im writing an actual post on bjt i might repeat stuff and get into ship territory#so like. i enjoy getting way too deep abt bellumbeck and the possible parallels and w/e between bellum n linebeck#things to get deeper abt them and connections between them. abt linebeck being somehow more drawn to bellum than oshus#tryina get my mind off of things. school work world at large yknow. uh. trying to stay optimistic. idk if thats a good idea rn#anyways. um. something abt like. bellum is to linebeck as the spirits are to link. linebeck and link as the two major human main characters#being kind of strongly associated with these opposing forces? linebeck and link being foils/generally very different#yknow? like maybe oshus/the spirits ofc choose him in a sense bc he aligns with their goals and beliefs#while linebeck aligns more with bellum’s goals (which ig you can infer with some similarities between them from what you see)#yeah. making it way deeper than it actually is. bellum meeting linebeck in the middle in some form before just yknow. fucking with him#the thing between linebeck and bellum is so fun. it starts with bellum just throwing all of linebecks trauma at him and that backfiring#then trying to get him on to his side with the whole like i mean you do fantasize abt murder dude and then that falling flat#and then just giving up and getting violent and then THAT backfires bc uh oh he started venting by accident n linebecks kinda into this#its half weird silly visceral homoerotic WHATEVER and the just straight up literary analysis of this 17 year old game#oh god ph is turning 17 this year. now THAT makes me feel old#anyyyyyways. i do like linebeck kind of being v similar to bellum. the disdain for ciela. a mlre chaotic and self serving way of life.#hatred for ppl who try to limit or control him. bit of a scrappier n frantic mindset when scared. loves to hit da bricks when shit sucks#i am putting them together like little dolls i think brllumbeck is really interesting to get wayyyy too invested in.
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calicostorms · 3 months
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Grey Warden armor is so fascinating like what is going on here. What is the logic
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NOT ENTIRELY ALONE - The Narcissist Cookbook
I haven't met God myself, I don't know anyone that has so I can't vouch for her gift-giving abilities Maybe she put a lot of thought into you Or maybe you were something she picked up at the 24-hour petrol station at the last minute, on the way to the party
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osachiyo · 6 months
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✦ BAD TIMING? ✦
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⟣ ──┈ · · · + including : dazai, chuuya, fukuzawa, fyodor x fem!reader
⟣ ──┈ · · · + c/w : nsfw content (mdni), teasing, petnames, degradation, rough sex, prone bone, cowgirl, mating press, nipple play, cursing, cockwarming, mentions of nikolai + non consensual vouyer in fyodor's & more
⟣ ──┈ · · · + a/n : i wrote this with my pussy.
synopsis. . . you're getting your guts rearranged when− 'riiing!' the annoying sound of his phone ringing caught you both off guard, snapping you out of your dazed state as you both paused your nightly rendezvous. what's even more surprising to you is when he reaches over to grab the tiny device, answering the call− ugh, seriously?
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.001 — Dazai
You whined at feeling Dazai's hips slow down, now completely flush against your ass, as he picks up the phone. "What could kunikida-kun possibly need from me, at this hour?" He muttered to himself, voice breathy and warm against the shell of your ear. Fuck, it was kunikida?
"Hello~ ku-ni-ki-da-kuunnnnn?" Your co-worker said in an annoyingly sing-songy voice, making the man in the other end of the line grumble in frustration. They began talking about some..mission? Anyway, it had been around 20 minutes since they've started talking? You couldn't exactly tell− or cared, honestly. The only thing in your fucked out mind was for dazai to close the damn phone and just fuck you already!
You showed your frustrations by huffing and angrily kicking your legs− turning your head to look back at dazai with a glare. He only smirked in response, shrugging before turning his attention back to the call.
You had no idea that dazai was aching to move right now, the feeling of your warm cunt pulsating around him was almost too much to bear. The way sweat gathered at the dip of your back, the way you arched for him− shit.
It had been a few more moments, you were so close to whine out complaints when dazai's hips started moving again, cock easily brushing against your sweet spot. You could still hear his voice from behind you.. he− he wasn't done with the call?!
You were about to ask him what the hell he was planning now− when long, slim fingers entangled themselves in your already messy hair− shoving your head down against the mattress to shut you up as he kept his pace, voice straining a little while he contuined his "very important" conversation with your other co-worker.
Lewd "pap! pap! pap!" noises of dazai's balls hitting your ass filled the enclosed room as you tried your best not to let any moans slip out− god, if he found out− "oi dazai, what're the weird noises coming from your side?"
Fuck.
"Oh uh− nothing, nothing at all, kunikida-kun," he breathed, free hand now coiling around your waist to rub at your neglected clit− making your back arch even more as you gasped out loudly.
"What the− are you sure? You better not be scheming anything bad right now, idiot."
"Of course not! mmh− so tight−!" he whispered the last bit, large hand now cluntching the flip phone in a vice grip as he watched his cock disappear inside of your slick folds− a creamy ring forming around the base of his cock.
"Huh? what's so tight? Dazai−"
That was the last thing you heard from kunikida before dazai's poor phone was thrown somewhere on the bed, the hand coiled in your hair now dragging you up− arching your back even more for him as he muttered soft curses into your ear.
You let out a pained mewl at your hair being pulled, desperate hands scrambling to claw and tug at the sheets as your back was flush against dazai's chest. "Ah− shiit−!" your eyes rolled back as the thumb circling your tiny clit sped up, the bed creaking loudly with each thrust of dazai's narrow hips against your ass.
"Yeah? you gonna cum, 'donna?" Dazai mocked, breath hot against your neck as he moaned lewdly at the way your pussy gushed around him− spraying the sheets with clear fluid. Dazai only groaned in response, "oh shit, fuuuck!− g'nna cum inside you, yeah? y' wan' that?" He slurred, you didn't get to answer before blunt nails meanly dug into your hips as he stilled− balls tightening as spurts of white filled your cunt before he fell on top of you.
You two laid there for a few moments, his cock slowly softening inside you− chest heaving as he finally got off, hissing from the loss of warmth. Dazai pressed a gentle kiss on your temple before walking off, most likely to grab a wet rag to clean you up. You got up with a sigh, running a hand through your messy hair when your eyes land on dazai's phone− it wasn't too far away from you.
You crawled closer to it, taking it in your hands when it lit up− "call ended now."
.002 — Chuuya
You were happily bouncing on your boyfriend's dick when the annoying ringtone of his phone went off. He sighed, lifting his head from the sofa as he reached over to grab the device, brows furrowing at the contact name.
You were sitting idly on his lap now, still impaled on his cock. "Who is it?" You panted, out of breath as you tried not to clench around the ginger's fat dick.
"It's.. boss. be quiet f'me, okay doll?" His voice was soft, but you know he meant it as a command.
You nodded innocently, urging him to answer the phone call. and he did, the way he immediately put on a professional voice sort of baffled you but hey, he was a mafia executive.
But the moment he put the phone next to his ear, you clenched around him tight— making him almost double over with a gasp as he gripped your hip for stability.
"Argh!— I mean- y-yes, boss!" He stuttered, face flushing as he grit his teeth, glaring at you as his fingertips dug into your plush hip, veins appearing at his temple as he mouthed to you to "behave."
Like hell you'd listen and torture yourself by cockwarming him. You only grinned mischievously before lifting your hips up and slamming down on his cock, his eyes shutting tightly as he tried his best not to moan out— he couldn't. Especially not with Mori on the line.
You kept pleasuring yourself on his cock without a care, even going as far as putting a show for him— your hands reaching to play with your tits as you softly moaned out his name, reaching to grab his hand but he only smacked it away, cock dripping with need as he tried his best to keep things professional.
"Chuuya-kun, everything alright on your side? I keep hearing these..noises."
The man in question knew he was fucked— he knew Mori already figured everything out, "uh— y-yeah, boss. I'm fine— fuck—!" Panting out the last part, Chuuya gripped his phone so tight that you worried it would shatter.
"Uh-huh.. Anyway, you had better call me back once you're finished with your.... current predicament. Have fun."
And with that, the Port Mafia boss ended the call, making Chuuya groan in annoyance before chucking the small device somewhere— "what the hell was that?" He growled, hand coming up to wrap around your throat as he forced you to stop your movements, cock nestled deep inside of you once again as your hips stilled. You whined from the loss of friction, the sound only making your lover's right eye twitch in annoyance— "such a poor, needy slut, ain't ya?" He held you down firmly before thrusting up, fat cock nudging against your sweet spot as you threw your head back.
"Ooh, f-fuck— my slutty fuckin' girl can't even stand a few minutes without cock, huh?" He stuttered, other hand reaching up to land a gentle but firm slap on your face. It didn't sting much, but was enough to move your head to the other side. You only whimpered in response, clenching around him even more as his thrusts sped up— growls and groans of pleasure escaping his own lips as he suddenly parted your lips with his thumb before shoving two gloved fingers down your throat— your eyes stinging with tears as the digits hit the back of your throat, tits bouncing up and down as he practically manhandled you like a ragdoll— settling you on your hands and knees without even pulling out fully.
"Argh- fuck—!" He moaned, burying his face into the dip of your shoulder, landing soft kisses on the smooth skin. "Ch-chuuya— s'good, feels s'good—" you slurred, eyes rolling back as one hand found your breasts— the soft flesh jiggling with each brutal thrust of his hips as he basically slapped them around, harshly pinching your nipple as his other hand found your clit— rubbing quick and fast circles on the delicate bud— making you clamp around his cock once more before gushing all over his cock and the expensive leather couch. Your juices ran down his balls to his thighs— the force of your orgasm making you limp against him. You'd probably fall face first onto the couch if not for Chuuya's vice grip on you. Whimpers and borderline pornographic moans left his swollen lips— before biting down hard on your shoulder, spurts of cum flooding your insides as you laid flaccid in his hold— a drooling, shivering mess.
Chuuya fell on top of you, the both of you laying in each other's warmth when—
"Riiiing!"
.003 — Fukuzawa
A pout graced your pretty lips when your husband reached for his phone— picking the tiny device up as he drew soothing circles on your hip, motioning for you to be quiet.
You tried your best to be quiet as he took the phone call, you really did! But the way his cock was nestled so deep inside you and the way you could practically feel him throb inside of your gooey walls— you really didn't wanna bother him or interrupt his phone call but... you couldn't help but whine softly, reaching a hand down to rub at your clit, clenching down on the older man's impossibly hard cock. Fukuzawa's eyes widened when his eyes finally focused on you, underneath him— little pants and huffs of his name rolling off your tongue as you played with yourself. Your other hand was playing with your nipples, softly tugging on them as you bit your bottom lip— which was already swollen. Your eyes were glossed over, hips dying to move on their own.
His jaw was clenched— free hand coming down to lift your legs and put them on his shoulder before he started thrusting inside of you with more vigour than before. It was like he was in a trance— the way your pussy fluttered around his pulsating cock, and the way his tip kissed your cervix with each thrust had you both panting. Your head spun with pleasure as he reaches down to press at your tummy— feeling his bulge. Fuck, he was huge.
The phonecall still went on, of course— but you know all Fukuzawa could think about was you, and the way your pretty cunt swallowed his cock. The noises leaving his mouth told you exactly what you needed to know— the slight stutter in his voice, usually gentle tone now gruff and slightly higher in pitch as he tried his best not to blow his load right then and there.
Not like you were any better either— hair disheveled, sweat dripping off your body as tears stinged at your eyes from the sheer size of this man— it didn't take long for you to cream and gush all over his cock— some of it even spraying on his abdomen. He saw the way your glossy eyes rolled back, your jaw slacked open as your high hit you like a truck.
To hell with the phonecall — he thought.
He cut off whoever was on the other line with a quick but curt, "I'm a little busy— I'll call you later", not even letting the other person respond before ending the call and placing the phone away— all his attention back was on you.
"Putting on a show f'me, sweet girl?" He grunted, dragging his hips back before slamming them against yours— "mmh! K-Knew it'd work— fuck!" You moaned, now feeling both of his hands pushing your legs back, knees almost touching your ears as he forced you into a mean mating press. You felt your high coming closer again— balls slapping against your ass, cock bullying that spongey spot inside of your gummy walls as he groaned sweet nothings into your neck— gruff voice drowned out by his own growls.
You could only babble nonsense and his name as you came hard for the second time that night— pussy clenching around his length and he could feel something snap inside of him— hips speeding up to an inhuman pace, losing their rhythm as he bottomed out fully. Balls pressed against your ass while he spurted out so much cum— some of it ran down your ass and on to the sheets as he slowly got up, pulling out of your cunt with a hiss and watching his cum gushing out of your cunt in spurts.
.004 — Fyodor
You were finally bouncing on Fyodor's cock after hours of teasing and cockwarming— your hips and thighs burned but it didn't matter to you at the moment, because you can finally reach that release that Fyodor has been dangling in front of you— or at least you thought.
Your heart dropped to your stomach once the ringing of his phone echoed through the room— an annoyed sigh leaving Fyodor's lips as he gently slapped your thigh, a silent order for you to stop and stay still.
"A noise and you're getting punished," Fyodor's voice was smooth, but the threat made you gulp, "o-okay," you nodded, accidentally clenching down on him from nervousness and he hissed— blunt fingernails digging into your soft hips. He let out a shaky breath before picking up the phone, it was sort of unsettling how his voice switched from breathy to normal in a second.
You didn't know the phonecall would last so damn long.
It had been almost 30 whole minutes since he had picked up the goddamned phone— and this was pure torture to you. The occasional twitch of his cock inside you made your head spin, oh and the way he'd glare at you when you clenched down particularly hard— it did nothing else but make you even wetter. He, on the otherhand, was completely fine— not a hair out of place as he spoke so casually about.. something. The only time he'd react is when your pussy contracted around him— which would only get a hiss, or hitched breath from the man. It pissed you off.
It was too much for you— your juices running down his cock and onto the leather chair, god - you were leaking so much.
Fortunately for you, he was done with the call soon enough— quickly placing the phone on the desk before whispering into your shoulder as he placed gentle kisses on your skin, "go ahead, myshka - move." His voice was soft, as if he was proud of you for obeying his order and being a good girl— fingers that were previously digging into your flesh now reached between your bodies to rub and flick at your clit, while you happily bounced on his dick. He may have been quiet as a mouse during the phonecall— but he couldn't help but let out soft grunts and pants as you expertly milked his cock, dry lips even letting out one or two whines as you kissed his neck, down to his collarbones— pale skin now adorning a heavy flush as your thighs smacked against his own.
Lewd squelches and noises of skin smacking against skin filled the dark room of his office— Fyodor's jaw clenching as he feels your walls - so soft and warm, squeezing his cock as if you were trying to milk him. He was going to cum soon— but he couldn't possibly finish before his darling, could he? Lithe and slim fingers sped up their movements on your clit as he bit on your shoulder— free hand pinching and pulling at your hardened nipples as you gasped, your own pace turning sloppy and uncoordinated as you clenched your eyes shut— cumming all over his cock as he held your hips down firmly, shooting ribbons of white inside of your walls, some of it dribbling down his balls to the leather of his seat.
You both were left panting, shivering as Fyodor drew random shapes into your shoulder— trying to come down from his own high. He pulled you closer after you both calmed down, your head resting on his chest as he placed soft kisses on the crown of your head, whispering how good you've been for him.
If only you knew the man also coming down from his high on the other end of the video call— white hair disheveled as he came all over his screen.
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©sachiyoh — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡
note. ik i said i'd add jouno but I lost motivation for this thing :( jouno will be added to another work, so sorry jouno lovers </3
tags ・ @hopefulpain @inkmooon @constant-existential-terror @nda-approval @mellieellie @seiiushi @lynxxyyy @kentopedia
@sorahatsumi @himebwrries @nopethenope @neviex @fyodorisbbg @stygianoir @saharei @x-lunawrites-x @munnaitorei @emyyy007 @dearhoney-31 @the-foreigner @angoisfine @hannzai @honeycombflowers-blog @yuiiasathesilly @kaithegremlin @poisonedslop @sukiischaotic @squigglewigglewoo @boba-is-good @cupidszvlvr @ashthemadwriter @4xxxv @bloobewy @mrs-bakugou @hauntedsol @ask-me-or-not @hanakotateyama @qqingque @lunaeheroine18 @kissesmellow21 @dazaichuuya69 @xxsilverjackalxx @gettinshiggywithit @leftrunawaybanana @deaths-presence @sugaredpersimmon @rjssierjrie @iheartpieck @angelof-darkness @otakudul @dazaisimpletmereadfanficspls @hellokitty-4-lele @scinclaitnoir @aly-insanity @kemis-world @bisexuawolfsalt @thateldribitch @chuuya-brainrot
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charliemwrites · 5 months
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Awooooooo!
Content: Voyeurism, Dog Urination, Implied Non-Con Touching
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Your dog is weird. Just.. just weird. Like, all dogs are weird. They have their quirks and their oddities, silly babies in fluffy bodies.
Johnny though…
He snuggles up in your bed every night; you don’t even bother trying to kick him out. He’s presses up tight against you, head almost on your pillow. Have to start sleeping in a shirt because one too many unfortunately placed cold nose bumps…. Yeah. But that’s fine. The fuzzy space heater is worth it.
(So what if you sort of wake up sometimes and half-dream its skin you’re snuggled up to. If you imagine a more human rasp to the quiet snores by your ear. If the tongue on your cheek is softer and smaller than you’re used to….
Your dating life has been dry for some time.)
Johnny pees in every room of your house at least once, but that’s not entirely surprising - he’s an intact male, after all. (Something you’re trying to, heh, fix. Though the appointment mysteriously keeps getting moved or cancelled.) thankfully, though, once he’s “marked his territory” he starts asking to go outside.
And that’s where the weirdness begins.
The first time you let him out off leash, he shoots off into the woods and only returns once he’s done. You panic, feel so stupid and irresponsible, near tears by the time he gets back. When he sees you upset, say on the porch steps, he darts to your side and leans into you until you calm down.
You stop worrying so much about his little “trips”. Means you dont have to clean up after him to keep the yard tidy after all.
The first time he bounds off into the woods and doesn’t come back after a few minutes, you almost go searching. But.., but well he’s a good boy. An hour later he comes back, scratching at the door.
You’re not sure what he’s up to and it makes you anxious. Don’t like the idea of an “outdoor” dog. All of yours have been in-home pets kept in sight at all times. You’re scared Johnny’s going to get hurt or bitten or hit by a car.
But he always comes back healthy whole.
One hour turns into two, then three. Entire mornings, only returning in the evening to climb into bed. Eventually a whole day. You have someone install a doggy door big enough for Johnny to slip through so that he can come and go as he pleases.
You get used to having a pet that’s only around sometimes, though you sniffle that you miss him when he’s gone. As if understanding, he’ll always lick at you, comforting.
The other weird thing - he demands to climb into bed while you’re doing “self care”. Again, dogs don’t get human social boundaries. He’s allowed on the bed so why is it that he wouldn’t be allowed up even if it’s not bedtime? It’s understandable dog logic, even if you have to stop the first several times it happens.
Keeping him out isn’t an option. Even if you manage to shut the bedroom door on him before he wriggles inside, he makes such a ruckus. Barking, howling, knocking over the trash and scratching at the door. You almost step directly into a puddle of pee once.
You just keep the lights off, close your eyes, and try to ignore the odd brush of fur or gust of air from his nose. Pretend he’s not there at all; and not staring the way he tends to.
Not getting off just isn’t an option. You make your peace with your dog too dumb to even turn away.
(You also learn very quickly to wash your toys as soon as you’re done. Can’t even wait to catch your breath. Calling him nasty makes his tail wag. You know it’s not reasonable to think he’s doing it on purpose.)
“Johnny, drop it!”
Instead of doing that, he drops his front half low, a lacy black pair of underwear in his teeth. He snatched it right out of your laundry basket while you were trying to start the washer.
“I’m going to turn you into a pair of boots. Put those down!”
Chasing a giant wolf-dog for your panties is ill-advised but what are you gonna do? Let him shred your underwear?
“I wanted to wear those out tonight, you bastard!”
You’re supposed to have a date. At this rate, you won’t even be able to shower, never mind get ready. Johnny’s been a nuisance all day, ever since you got off the phone with your mom this morning, updating her about your life and plans for the evening.
Determined, you give up and go to finish the laundry - only to hear a crash and a yelp. Johnny’s knocked over the mirror and stepped in the glass.
“Oh, baby boy,” you groan. “Dammit, John-Bon.”
You text your date for a rain check, then call ahead for the emergency vet. Huh… your first aid kit is much better stocked than you remember.
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bet-on-me-13 · 5 months
Text
Ellie wasn't born a Halfa
So! Jason just found something weird. Or rather. Someone.
A little girl, no more than 6 or 7, crying behind a dumpster in an alleyway. Now, as unfortunate as it is, this isn't that strange a sight in Gotham. Kids are always running away from home, getting lost, being left homeless after a mugging gone wrong, but this time was different.
Because the kid was glowing.
When he found her hiding behind the Dumpster, a medical gown being the only thing she had to protect herself from thr frigid Gotham Winter, he didn't hesitate to give her his Jacket and take her to his nearest safe house.
(Actually it took a little while to convince her to accept the Jacket, and even longer to get her to agree to being taken to his safe house, but they got there in the end.)
When he had finally gotten her set up in a side room of the Warehouse, with the most comfortable bed and thickest Blankets he could find, he tried asking what had happened.
"Daddy lied." She said. "He said he loved me, but then he made another kid and said he didn't care about me."
And, once again, it was unfortunately not that uncommon to see runaway kids from neglectful homes, but the way she said it raised some flags in his head.
"...and, how did you end up in Gotham?"
"I ran. He said I was a spare, and that scared me."
Well, that was even more horrible than he had anticipated. What kind of monster tells their kid that they're a spare?!
"And, I'm sorry if this is a touchy subject but why are you glowing?"
She just buried her face in the Blankets and shook her head.
"Alright then, that's fine. You can tell me when you're ready, or even not tell me at all, I'll accept either or".
For the next few weeks, Jason juggled running his newly created criminal empire and raking care of the kid. He still hadn't gotten a name out of her, but she said to call her "Dp" instead. 'It's the best I'm gonna get', he thought.
It was only after a few more weeks, right before he was about to begin his Plan of confronting Bruce about the Joker still being alive, that she approached him and agreed to tell him everything. He was actually really glad that she finally seemed to trust him enough to tell him.
"Okay Dp, you can start wherever you want."
"...well, I guess I should start with my name..." She started, "...or rather, my lack of one..."
"What?" Asked Jason in a soft voice.
"I, I don't have a name." She explained, "Daddy never gave me one. He just called me DP-2."
"...what do you mean by two?" Asked Jason.
"It-It's my Experiment Number." She said, stuttering a little, "I'm not a normal person, I'm a Clone. I was made to be daddy's perfect child, but I was just the test run. He said that I wasn't needed after he made DP-3, and that all I was good for was spare parts."
Jason felt his throat dry up. Dp was a Clone? Of who? Who made her? What right did that guy have to reject her?! Who in their right mind would make a Clone and then reject the Clone?! How dare he!
The Pits perked up
He felt the Pits rising a little, but managed to push them down. Dp needed support, not the Pits.
"It's Okay kid." He said, holding her had reassuringly. "It's perfectly okay to be different. I accept you as you are, and I'm sure as hell not gonna abandon you that easily. Or, ever really. You're stuck with me, whether you like it or not."
She giggled, and hugged him. A thoughtful look crossed her face, and she pulled away.
"There is one other thing...you know how I glow sometimes?" She asked.
The Pits felt a sense of dread
Jason felt like he wasn't going to like this. "Yeah?"
"Well, when I said I was meant to be a Clone, I never mentioned who of." She explained slowly. "He's a kid named Danny, and when he was 14, he had an accident where he died and came back as a Half Undead."
No...
Jason really wasn't liking where this was going.
"When Da-Vlad tried to make me, he realized that those powers couldn't be cloned..." She paused here, seemingly gathering the courage to continue. "...they needed to be added afterwards."
NO.
He didn't. He had better not have, for his own Fucking Sake, he had better not have done what Jason thinks he did.
"So one day, he took he down to the Lab, and he put me in a big machine." He voice broke a little. "He locked me in there, and then I think...that I died..."
...
For once, Jason felt completely in tune with the Pits. He was going to Kill that guy.
...
Sorry if this feels a little rushed, I kept going back to add or change parts of it.
Basically, Vlad realized that you can't Clone a Halfa. So, he made a workaround. He just stuck his first Viable Clone into a Portal, and let the machine Kill her. When he realized that it worked, he knew he had no use for Ellie anymore aside from spare parts.
And he told her as much, Vlad is a fucking asshole.
Ellie, of course, got scared and ran away. She ended up in Gotham, and was adopted by Jason right at the start of his Criminal Career.
When Jason finally hears about the rest of his kids' Backstory, he decides that Batman can wait his turn. He needs to go Kill that Vlad Bastard.
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