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1uvtae · 2 years

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what do you do when you have just been cheated on? | kim taehyung

♡ word count: 17k (yes it may be less than 20k but this! it's intense!)

♡ genre: hard smut& fluff!! & crack & some angry angst towards the end (...also very protected sex! stay safe friends!) taehyung is a sweetheart inside a fuckboy's body and y/n is quite immature for getting back on her cheating boyfriend with taehyung but,,,,girl gotta do what she gotta do!

- kae's little 'moral of the story' tip: just don't cheat on your s/o. unless it's kim taehyung. /j

♡ summary/snippet: what do you do when you have found out that your long-term boyfriend has been cheating on you? well, contacting his (may i mention, very, very hot) best friend tae is definitely an option.

♡ kae chit chats: happy taetae day! i was actually on the way of posting another lengthy fic that i had started writing a month or two ago but i think that might not be the best option because i have sadly not edited that fic to the point where i think it is suitable to be posted...so here we are with this fic! i don't know where my inspiration for this fic came from because no i have literally no experience in almost any of the events that have happened here (except for eating ramen probably) but the thought of it popped right in when i opened a new doc so here we are..! enjoy this very much and i hope you guys are weirdly satisfied with this ending because this fic was definitely a rollercoaster in my opinion...lastly, so much love for my supporters (you guys hee hee) and happy birthday to the best boy in the world, taehyung. - kae

do you want to give me some feedback? request something fun? chit chat with me?!

kae's recommendation of songs to listen to when you are reading!! (psst, i have immaculate taste btw.)

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU ENTER- (trigger warnings: mentions of cheating and emotional manipulative side character with a hint of moral coercion, semi-violence towards the end & stalking behavior, very intense conversations, and mentions of one small injury and alcohol use but a happy ending !)

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

what do you do when your boyfriend just cheated on you?

when you found out that your boyfriend cheated on you that day, you decided to contact your boyfriend’s best friend.

before that day, you had only met taehyung one or two times, in fact, you didn't even know his name, only hearing the nickname ‘tae’ being called out by your boyfriend a few times. you did not even have any source of contact with him except the silent and dead group chat your boyfriend has once added you to.

you go through the list of members and find him at the bottom of the list. a profile picture of a pretty and slender hand holding up the fluffy face of a black and tan pomeranian. his username was simple and casual: thv. you supposed this must be the ‘tae’ you’re searching for since you knew everyone else's names.

the account was private and you requested. he did not accept the request until late in the afternoon, followed by a bold question mark in your message requests.

y/n: busy?

thv: not really

thv: whats up

the thought that he probably does not remember who you are hits you, considering your profile picture also doesn’t include your face. and of course, the many years you have been dating your boyfriend, he barely took you out to hang out with his friends, none of his friends would remember you anyways. you hesitate to reply but end up typing a word and sending it anyway.

y/n: well

thv: if youre asking to hook up, im afraid im not the suitable person to be sleeping with my friends girlfriend :)

a splash of awkwardness enters the chat, followed by your surprise that he still remembers you.

y/n: i wanna get back at him for cheating

thv: :0

the emoji he sent over seemed to know too much, you can’t help but think to yourself if he knew about your boyfriend’s unfaithfulness all along.

and that makes you feel very uncomfortable.

you decided to not reply, locking your screen and you lie back on your couch, switching to take a tired and quick nap. right when you are starting to enter the comforts of dreamland, you were startled by a notification. you struggle to grab the phone on the coffee table, unlocking it, you stare at the blue text and freeze.

thv: come over then

before you could text back a question mark or anything, he had already sent his location over.

the anger you were supposed to feel hours ago when you had just found out that your boyfriend had cheated on you came in right this second. when you had finally realized that you, y/n y/l/n, had been cheated on.

and that gives you more motivation to head over to tae’s house. you were going to get that cheating bastard back, be sleeping with his best friend. you barely felt embarrassed about going to tae’s house now. it was something consented to and with a purpose.

you stand up to go shower, pick an outfit, do your makeup so perfectly that you even brought out the expensive lipstick you only use on special occasions (like this one). you called an uber and headed right over to the location he had sent you an hour ago.

when you find yourself sitting on the black leather seats of the car, you feel hunger growling in your stomach, then you recall that you have not eaten anything today due to the load of information you have consumed last night that made you lose all your appetite.

he lived pretty far away, an expensive area almost out of your city, full of luxurious and lavish shopping areas and too much lighting at night time on the noisy streets. when you thank the driver and walk out of the uber, you notice the ramen store in front of you, you immediately rush in.

before ordering, you text him. “have you eaten? i’m at a ramen store, do you want some takeaway?”

thv: bro?

thv: my pants are already off wdym if i want ramen

you snort at the text, then catch yourself.

thv: anyways

thv: extra pork slices and no spring onions thank u <3

y/n: …..

one plastic bag in each hand, you walk into the neighborhood while trying to calculate the large prices of each car driving by. (as if you knew anything about cars, you cannot even tell the difference between two brands of cars.) you take your phone out once again to skim the address he had sent you, after strolling around with no result, you receive another text.

thv: hello. where is my ramen order?

you roll your eyes. does he think you’re uber eats?!

y/n: i think im lost =.=

thv: where r u rn

y/n: 13A

thv: turn around, walk straight until you find 9A then turn right

thv: im standing outside

with the text, you find him outside his house in less than a few minutes. you pause in your tracks and question yourself if that is actually him.

the past times you have seen him was always at clubs, the lighting dark and mysterious, smoke travelling everywhere, he always wore a white or black button-up, surrounded by different women, not to mention the thoughts you were brainwashed by your boyfriend, always telling you he’s a fuckboy and extremely flirty with anyone. your conclusion of him was a complete asshole with nothing but a pretty face and money.

but this was different. maybe because it’s at his house instead of clubs. or it’s because you have come to the conclusion that your boyfriend is a liar himself and everything that comes out of his toilet hole of a mouth is made up or exaggerated.

he’s wearing a grey oversized hoodie with causal sweats, too boyish to consider he was the person you’ve seen once or twice at the bars.

the second he sees you, he breaks into a small smirk.

“hi.”

you want to scream.

the thought that “i am going to hand him the ramen and leave” has completely left your mind. you knew he was pretty handsome before, but that wasn’t the handsome you were interested in. this long and fluffy dark hair, square-jawed, semi-tan skin with simple silver hoops piercings is your type of handsome.

you walk to him and smile back.

“hey.”

he reaches his hands out to grab the plastic bags from your hands, your hands brushing slightly.

he inspected the ramen in his hands and knitted his brows in concern. “you’re quite slow, the noodles are cold.”

you resist pouring the noodles on his face at his annoyingly funny gesture of criticizing the noodles. you follow him into his house thinking that the next actions will probably be the awkwardest moments you will ever encounter. but he didn’t pause to say something or do anything, he walked straight to his kitchen to get the noodles ready, taking chopsticks and bowls out while kindly asking you if you wanted to try some of the kimchi soup he had just finished making.

“sure.”

you close your eyes and convince yourself many times. you are here to hook up. you are only here to hook up. just have dinner and sex, then you are going to leave.

the soup was so good though.

before you finished eating he went to answer a call. you finished with your food and walked to the sink to start cleaning the utensils while thinking about all the moments that have happened in the past day or so, then you feel a hand take the bowl from you and put it back into the sink. you jump in surprisement. he shut off the running tap, “just leave it there. i’ll clean it up later.”

his voice was so deep it’s haunting. the distance between you two was close but safe. a good distance for friends to maintain. but the fact is: you two aren’t even friends.

you dry your hands and turn to look back at him, he opens his mouth to speak. “i have something to do, gotta go.” you pause. what? so you’re not gonna do anything?

he continued: “there’s barely any taxis here, i’ll send you home.”

you couldn’t help but stress the fact that: “but you told me to come over.” he nodded in agreement, showing understanding, tilting his head (cutely), he tried to negotiate: “so….how about…you stay here and wait for me? i’ll come back.” you understood that you’re gonna be a bother no matter what and this was just not going to happen.

“nah, it’s fine. i’ll call an uber.” you smile back and head to grab your tote bag off the couch.

before you could take a step, you feel a warm hand reach for your arm. the excitement rushed to your head. he tugged you slightly and you were back to where you were, in front of the sink, his eyes stared you down slowly and carefully. you didn’t try to struggle or anything, just completely mesmerized by his dark pupils.

“kitchen, living room, or the bedroom?”

“bedroom.”

he smiled and nodded.

hand in hand, he walked upstairs with you and into the bedroom.

your eyes traveled from the colored lights to the wines on the bedside table, then to the rose decorations, maybe this was not a good idea. the thought that the bed probably had been rolled with other people concerns you.

“hey.” you speak and he looked back at you and hummed in response.

“can i return to the previous options?”

he looked confused. “what previous options?”

“the ‘kitchen, living room, or bedroom’ options.”

he chuckled lightly, “too slow.”

then he pushed you onto the bed.

the bed, very soft. him, the opposite. he got on top gently and slowly started taking each piece of his clothing off, while still maintaining eye contact between you two. hoodie, tshirt, sweats, all the way down.

then it’s your turn. one of his large hands caressed from your face to your neck and the other traveled with every minute from one button to another on your white button-up dress. popping each of them with such care. the moment lasted long. so long that it made you question if you actually should’ve just worn a shirt and shorts instead. when he removed the dress, what was under was revealed to him. he looked from up and down with his pretty eyes, and backed up at your eyes. this time, there was a fire burning in his eyes.

under the dress, you wore a laced-up sheer slip-in dress. and nothing else. the handsome smirk found his face for the millionth time today. “only wearing that?”

his hand had found your abdomen and you felt your skin burning from head to toe at the touch of his soft and gentle palms, and it was going to burn this dress if he didn't take it off right now. at last, he found the way to your chest. his long and slender fingers drawing random shapes on your skin through the loose fabric, causing a ticklish and tingle right to your head. your hand found his and you held it tightly, squeezing it before trying to form proper words with your breath. “no more playing, please.”

he raises an eyebrow at you and grabs your hand so fast that now it’s the opposite way around, his hand now squeezing yours, he leads your hand slowly from his knees up, your eyes focused on the hands that are intertwined and slowly traveling up his thighs, and then he stops before it reaches the final stop before muttering with his deep and playful voice, “how can something like this be quick? hm?” you look back up. “only sex toys don’t play and gets straight to the point. what can i say? i like to play with my food.”

you can’t spit any words out. he slowly hovers over you and his fingers proceed into the rim of the dress, making their way slowly and steadily up. your breath becomes harder to breathe in and out as if he has sucked all the oxygen there is in the room. then his fingers find their way there to your core, and his teeth also find their way to your neck. his head tucks itself in the crook of your neck and kisses it gently before trying to bite a small part of your skin, you try to move away. but it resulted to leave a mark there that is way too obvious.

he didn’t seem to notice you moving away, pulling down the band of your dress and continuing to kiss your body downwards, his hands never stopped. a hand of his reaches into the bedside table drawer and pulls out the obvious sealed item. one hand on your abdomen again, he pushed in. although there was a lot of playing beforehand, the pain was still there. you hear his groan right in your ear and you turn to look straight at him, his eyes were filled with a fog of lust and the handsome face of pleasure was definitely something you could get used to.

he stops when he’s all the way in, not forgetting to remind you: “relax.”

you respond with a hint of brattiness. “i’m very relaxed…..thank you very much.” he chuckles darkly and the vibration from his chest goes straight into you, you contain yourself to make a noise. his hand lifts your chin up and his thumb brushes your bottom lip gently, rubbing it with such care. “if it’s uncomfortable, tell me right away. if it feels good……..you also have to give me some feedback, okay?”

feedback? how?

before you could ask the question out, he started moving inside you again, more violently and more aggressively. without any guard against it, you couldn’t help but to make sounds. soft noises, loud noises, all from the intimate touch under the shards of moonlight. you hear his chuckle between the hits.

“see? you’re giving me feedback.”

his chest hits yours and you feel how heavy he feels against but how good this feels to you. you use your hands to circle around his neck. the bed feels emotional, as if this was a test tube experiment in science class, going to explode any second.

you don’t know how to describe this feeling. like everything inside you had been removed and toggled around and placed back into you. was it pleasure? yes. was it love? was it something right? you don’t know. but all you can feel is his touch. all you can see is him under the pink lighting. and all you can hear was your voice, his breath, and the sound of thumping and connecting that makes people’s faces blush.

you both ended under the darkness. you leaned against him and felt it impossible to move around anymore. you mumble with a sleepy voice, “there’s no one at your house, right?” “that’s a bit too late to ask that, don’t you think?”

right. you’ll shut up now.

you fell asleep easily.

when you wake up, you don’t even know what time it is. the ceiling was still pink and the night was still dark and cold, this felt like a dreamland but in reality. you find himself next to you, his back towards you, and the room was filled with his light snoring. under the bunch of discarded clothing you hear the vibration of a phone, the caller was under the name of ‘s.young’, and they have rung him at least 10 times. you realized that this was his phone, you put it down and try to find yours.

the bright screen illuminated your face as you scrolled through the game and social media notifications to find a text message from him telling you that the asshole himself was going to be back home. you two had moved in a year ago and even though you knew he has been cheating for the past day or two, he doesn’t have a single clue.

and you needed real proof and evidence to break up with him or else he would accuse you of not knowing anything. so at this moment, you still had to suffer living with him every day. it was something you were already partly used to, so you were fine about it.

you stand up so quick to put on your clothes. taehyung was woken up by the sound of your bare feet walking on the wooden floor. he raised his head to look at you, still filled with sleepiness. “what time is it?” you look at your dress, trying to figure out which button is supposed to go into the third hole. “2 am something.” he lies back in bed and shuts his eyes to go back to sleep before speaking again. “leaving so late?” you didn’t respond, struggling to pop all your buttons in.

when you arrived back home you were met with the familiar pair of shoes, of course, he is back. you walk past him that’s almost falling asleep on the couch, he turns on the light and looks at you before asking. “where did you go?”

you answer coldly. “friend’s birthday party.” then you grabbed your pyjamas and headed to the bathroom without waiting for any reaction from him. you spend 5 minutes in front of the mirror, observing your body. you could not see anything when you are clothed, obviously, but when you take everything off, it is a complete mess. marks on your chest, legs, fingermarks on your waist, and the obvious. there was a red and every indented bite mark on your left breast. vibrant and deep.

you were sure that anyone who knew tae would definitely know who has created this mark. it was like a logo, a stamp. after showering and cleaning yourself from everything, you walked into your bedroom without sparing him a glance. sitting comfortably, you find a text being sent to you half an hour ago from your ‘one-night stand’.

thv: i think……i might’ve bit you.

y/n: yes. you did.

thv: whoops

while you were changing his contact name he sent another message over.

tae: r u home

y/n: mhm

tae: rest well

tae: good night.

you didn’t answer, instead, you deleted the entire chat.

this was nothing but something you wanted to get back at a cheating dick. it’s a perfect ending this way. nothing more, nothing less.

he never contacted you afterward, and you never went to disturb him like the first time, you were busy trying to figure out what would be a suitable way to break up with your boyfriend.

and then that happened. you feel your boyfriend leave in the middle of the night like every other time. you hold your breath until you hear the door shut and his key locking it from the outside. you wait for a good half an hour and search for the contact that has been discarded.

y/n: are you with them?

he answered right away as if he knew you were going to text him after two calm weeks.

tae: yeah….

tae: my room is next to their room

and that was all you needed to be assured that tae knew this all along. he knew everything. you knew it too and you don’t blame him. your boyfriend and that girl had gone out many times and you never really knew how to approach and handle that fact. but this time, you’re sure your one-night stand can help. he sent a location right away, but this time it’s for different purposes, obviously since you two are obviously not planning to hook up.

you found your way to the hotel in half an hour and texted him for which specific room he’s at. he sent over two rooms, one is his and the other, well, theirs. (you stare at the two consecutive numbers and debate on whether you wanted to head for the left and catch them in the act or head to the right and make it a two-night-stand.)

you are now looking at the two rooms in front of you and hear a sharp ‘ding!’ and the door slides open slowly to reveal a familiar person looking down at his phone, he raises his head and meets eyes with you. you didn’t know what emotion or mood you should use to face him, so you just stood there and he smiled lightly.

“oh! i thought you were also gonna be lost this time…so i headed down to wait for you.”

you feel your cheeks go pink at the kind gesture. “well, yeah, thank you.”

you two walked shoulder to shoulder to his room and you watched him ring the doorbell. that’s weird. isn’t this his room? the door opens to reveal another woman, she leans on the doorframe and starts to complain, “taehyung that took you a long time just to buy some beer-” her eyes meet yours as he grabs your wrist and pulls you in with him. “oh mr kim! is this perhaps some three-person game we can play…?” she speaks in a joking tone.

your mind is zooming from how you found it funny how he used buying beer as an excuse to wait for you and how you have just found out his name is kim taehyung. he smirks and shakes his head in response. “definitely not. ick.” he takes a car key and throws it at her before telling her to leave. she smiles knowingly and shuts the door. the atmosphere has returned to awkwardness for you. not him, obviously. he does things normally, turns on the tv, takes off his jacket, and casually asks you if you ate dinner.

“yeah, i ate.”

“oh, i thought you were going to take away some ramen for me again.” he pretends to be disappointed, pouting like a little child and you answer in a small but still audible voice that the reason why you bought him food was that you wanted to fuck him, and today, well, that’s not the case today.

“okay then, i get it. i’m only worth one bowl of ramen.” he then fakes to sulk and you roll your eyes. “then what are you going here if you don’t wanna fuck me?” he emphasizes on the ‘don’t’ and you ignore his annoyingness. “jokes aside…if you wanna catch them in the act…” he gets comfortable on the bed and looks at his watch. “im afraid it’s not the time yet.”

“how long have they been together? like this whole cheating thing.”

he shrugs. “i think you have to ask your boyfriend that.”

“oh.”

he pats the empty spot next to him and tells you to come to sit here.

you feel like two dumbasses sitting on the bed together as if there aren’t three couches next to the both of you, but the bed is comfy and cleaner than the last time you two were on a bed. so who cares.

you lay down and look at the white ceiling, and you see him also lay next to you but looking at you. you were scared to look at him so you kept your eyes focused on the ceiling above speaking, but more as if it was to the ceiling than him. “i feel like i cockblocked you.” he hums lightly and stares at you with amusement. “not really, i still have you if i need that..”

you want to muffle him with a pillow sometimes.

then you hear his chuckles again randomly, causing you to turn curiously towards him. his eyes are squinting in laughter and you felt a sudden attraction towards his boxy smile.

he explains, “you know, that night after you left, i slept for hours and hours. i haven’t slept so deep and long in so long, y/n.” this was the first time you have heard your name come out of his mouth, and you loved how it sounded with his voice. you don’t mind him calling your name every second if you can be here to hear it.

“i bet you slept that long cos you’re old and crusty and i'm too energetic for you.” you joked and the two of you fell back into bursts of giggles and chuckles. “you’re too confident. i didn’t expect you to leave in the middle of the night, i also left some energy for the morning activities too.”

“........shut up.” and he did what you said.

in the silence, you hear the notification sound from your phone. it was your boyfriend responding to the text you sent that was ‘casually’ asking where he is and why he slipped out in the middle of the night.

son of a bitch: i’m drinking with my friends…they dragged me out.

son of a bitch: go to sleep babe don’t you have work tomorrow?

you raise an eyebrow as you type back, taehyung watching your actions next to you.

y/n: you have so many friends, which one?

he did not even hesitate to respond with of course: tae. yk? you’ve seen him a few times.

you let out a dry laugh and turn to look at taehyung, him also looking back at you. when your eye’s meet, he smirks and sits up. “i’m gonna go shower, wait for me.”

you didn’t even think much of it that second, responding with an ‘okay’ and not even thinking why he had to tell you that and why did he ask you to wait for him and why did you even agree to wait for him. his hand patted your head lightly and you heard him mutter a “good.” and walk towards the bathroom. your eyes followed his back and all the way to the glass door shuts, your eyes were still fixed on the glass door.

you look down as you come to the realization that the glass bathroom door perfectly shows you what’s inside with a light blur, but still easy to make out the figure inside. (although you have already seen everything, it’s still very intimidating.) you unlock your phone and start typing again.

y/n: watch out, tae might be a bad influence

son of a bitch: haha you worry too much, he’s a great dude

son of a bitch: go to sleep babe

son of a bitch: be good

you cringe at the last text, being called ‘good’ by these two different men makes a perfect contrast now, and you realize how weird your boyfriend is. the thought that he can just lie to you like that and if you aren’t with taehyung right now or did not know anything about him cheating, you would’ve believed him easily. and that disgusts you.

taehyung comes out of the shower quickly and you watch him walk to the empty side of the bed and sit comfortably as he starts drying his damp hair with a towel. “hey, can you pass me my phone?” you look to your side and grab the phone and hand it to him without looking at him, still focused on whatever TikTok video you were watching. when you passed the phone over, he didn’t reach for the phone, instead, his hand found your wrist.

you look up and find him still drying his hair, the towel covering his face, so you don’t know if the interaction was a pure accident or on purpose, but you don’t care at this point. you pull away from his grasp and plop the phone in his palms.

this was getting boring, not knowing when was the right time. you sat up and decided to walk around the room out of boredom. right when you were going to open the door and check outside, you heard a trail of loud laughter. freezing, you turn to look at him. taehyung pulls the towel off his head and comments casually. “as you can tell, the hotel’s not that soundproof.”

not that soundproof? this hotel just isn’t soundproof at all. might as well knock these fucking useless walls down at this point. (actually, don’t. you kind of need them there right this second.”

you can hear everything clearly and loudly. from the spring of the bed to the harsh and unpretty words, to the giggles and obvious moans of pleasure. everything came through the walls as thin as paper. you feel a ball of anger rush out, you rush to storm out the door, right when you reached the handle, his hand stopped you.

“you have to let me go. i'm gonna burn the two of them down!”

taehyung speaks with a big smile, “hm. as if that will do something.”

his words felt like a splash of water that just put out the rage of fire you were feeling.

the voices from next door still went on, but they didn’t seem to make you as mad as they did before, in fact, you find it quite entertainingly funny. you can’t help but wonder their reactions if you rushed in. the sounds and moans the girl was making were indeed……sexy. you could tell why he would go for someone like her.

taehyung stays standing in front of you, his hand still wrapped around your wrist, “you smell nice. you always did, you know?” you were taken out of your thoughts when you heard the sudden compliment. “last time when you slept over, the entire room smelled nice afterward.”

the words bring you back to that night. the confused and complicated afternoon with a hint of flirtatiousness. every scene was pierced into your brain and you couldn’t get yourself to move back when he started coming closer. his hand felt warm and hot like that night, making your face also heat up.

the next second, you were pulled to the soft and comfy bed. he pressed you against the bed as he moved closer to you, his face nudged against your neck, he spoke against your soft neck. “hmm..yeah, you smell really good.” you gently push him away. “taehyung…….”

he interrupts, “it’s tae.”

you clear your throat. “tae.”

he smiles boyishly at the mention of his nickname, looking too cute to be pressed against your burning body right now.

“mhm. i’m listening, jagi.”

you stare in his eyes for a slight second before moving your glance away when you come to the conclusion that whenever you look straight into his eyes, he’s going to get what he wants with those doe eyes. “i don’t wanna…….” your voice trails off.

“hm?”

“i…i don’t plan on having sex with you again. the previous time was an act of revenge for that dick. if we do it again…it will get out of control.” you make serious eye contact with him, trying to hope this will convince him.

you deeply want this. you know he wants this, and you’re sure if he went one more step further, you would’ve let him anyway. you found this wrong, but it didn’t mean you couldn’t do wrong things sometimes right….? maybe you should’ve just let this happen again. and again.

your glance of seriousness immediately turns to a defeat and a regretful mood, oh god if you wished you could unsend words like texts on a digital screen. because you want to do this right now.

he raises an eyebrow to look at you, who are currently locked lying on the bed, and he can definitely tell by your eyes that you also want this now. he slowly guides a finger up to your core as he searches on your face for a sign of approval.

‘if he doesn’t get a sign of approval in 3 seconds he will stop.’

his burning fingers send a tingly sensation from your legs to your head, you shut your eyes tightly and try to keep your breathing normally.

taehyung stops right in front where you need it the most, his eyes never left your face.

you nod.

after the nod, he did not give you another second to hesitate, the fingers entered and you were invaded once again. his memory seemed so good, although you two slept once, he had already seemed to remember all your sensitive spots and has created a perfect guide to enter and reach every single of those points.

your mind slowly fogs up and the fog is completely cleared in a second when he enters your flower field of a body again. you were expecting more foreplay, considering he had given you a good hour of foreplay that night. when he enters, your hands reach for the closest thing to grab and hold onto - his arm. you squeeze it tightly and hum in response.

his mouth finds your earlobe and bites it gently before whispering with his hot breath. “ah…..sorry…..it’s been a while….”

you pause to think about what you wanted to say without sounding too salty. “how long is ‘a while’? i bet you had sex like a day ago.”

he doesn’t move and thinks as if he was solving a question. “after that time, i left the country for a trip to Hawaii.”

you couldn’t help a slight hint of jealousy as if you were the suitable person to feel jealous.

“oh. i bet there were so many pretty girls there.”

he makes strong and intense eye contact with you once again. “not as pretty as you.”

that second, you actually felt your heartbeat speed up.

but there was an unspoken rule you were used to: anything men say before, during, right after sex should not be believed.

back to the main topic….he is very expressive with his hands. he squeezes you gently to get your attention back onto him, although your attention had ever left him. “hey, did you forget what i said?”

your brain goes blank. “what?”

he looked slightly disappointed, rocked his body at you, teeth-gritting at the intimate touch. “feedback, jagi.”

you contain yourself from actually making some noise. “there’s feedback next door. listen to that.” he cracked up: “come on, i’m not listening to random moaning clips on youtube. also, your voice is so much prettier than hers.”

although this was not something to be proud of, you couldn’t help but feel good about his comment: “are you being serious?” he bites down harder on your shoulder before responding. “of course.” although the effect of his touches completely sweeps you off your feet, you still tried your hardest to not make a single noise.

“hey hey hey, am i really that shitty that you won’t even moan? or are you scared he’s going to hear it and find out?” the eyes he gave you were a teasing glance that you’ve never seen from him before, and you gotta admit it, it’s making you feel more than something.

you shake your head. “he won’t recognize it.”

“you’re his girlfriend, what do you mean? your voice is so unique.”

“i never moan when it comes to sex with him.”

he was taken by surprise, and you realized that maybe this was not the suitable topic to be discussing right now when you two are connected to each other. the atmosphere has shifted and definitely way weirder than before, you felt a slight pain when he moved his hand away from your chest. “fuck, sorry. i should’ve just said nothing.” you speak moments after.

he shakes his head, eyes looking down. you start to speak again. “i can just leave, you know-” he suddenly pushes your shoulder down with great force, and brings his face back to the familiar place, biting on the exact piece of flesh as he did last time. “what the fuck- ow!”

“taehyung you bitch!” you look down to observe the deep bite mark.

“shh jagi. they can hear us next door.”

you huff. he could’ve at least switched to the other side!

after the bite, more dirty and filthy words started to pour out of his mouth and drown your entire body out with each syllable. you felt completely under his control and not going to lie, you loved this feeling. his mouth began to make marks everywhere like last time, and you can still feel the pain from your left breast. “god- tae. stop fucking biting me.”

his voice sounded too innocent to be forming the dirty words: “you don’t let me kiss you…so i gotta keep my mouth occupied.”

“fuck you, my head is going to…hit the headboard.”

he laughs as he brings an arm to protect your head from the wooden board. “i’ve never fucked someone until they get angry.”

hours passed and you two are still lying comfortably on the bed. “oi. bathroom.” you nudged him and he lifted the arm that was embracing you. you pick up the pile of your clothes and walk into the bathroom.

you walked out clothed and he checked you out, after seeing that you were probably going to head out soon, he seemed a little disappointed. “come here.”

you bend down to take your phone off the floor, “i'm gonna go home.”

he sits up: “your boyfriend texted me, do you wanna see it?”

you turn to him with curiosity,

he smiled “he heard us….do you wanna see what his reaction was?”

of course you wanted to. you walk slowly towards the bed and smile sheepishly “so….can i see?”

he pats the spot next to him and lifts the covers, signalling for you to get in.

you hesitated.

“you don’t have to get in. or can i have a smoochy smooch?!!” you shudder at the disgusting nickname and make a face before making your way to get in the bed.

“hey. that’s rude! i swear i don’t stink or anything.” you giggle and lean back into his arms once again and take the phone he handed to you. your boyfriend started the conversation first: “oh shit you’re finally done. taehyung replied casually with a “you heard us?” “no shit. your girl seemed so fun.” after reading the three sentences, you felt so utterly uncomfortable that your boyfriend could just throw out these adjectives to describe you as a toy, so you returned the phone.

taehyung didn’t take the phone back: “continue.”

there’s more?

you scroll down.

taehyung: you guys were also very loud.

your boyfriend denied it with a long sentence explaining how his partner was only faking the sounds and taehyung had a ‘real girl’.

you felt as if you wanted to vomit. then you read the last two texts and completely freeze.

“if my girlfriend was half as enthusiastic as your girl was tonight. i would be so fucking loyal.”

taehyung: lol.

you hand over the phone in silence. taehyung locks the phone and looks towards you. “so….are you gonna go over?”

“no, changed plans.” you answer calmly.

“you’re not going to…..break up with him?”

“i want to see how long he can play this fucking act for.”

you hopped down the bed and this time he didn’t stop you from leaving. but when you had found your way in front of the door, you heard him call your name for the second time tonight. you turn your head to look at him. “it’s my birthday on the 30th…do you wanna come over?” it was definitely a weird offer from him but you didn’t think much, knowing that you will not be welcomed if you went. you didn’t have a purpose there, cockblock your boyfriend with his lover and try to explain afterward the complicated relationship between you and taehyung without giving out the fact that you two had sex? that’s too tiring for you. you declined and he nodded, sliding down into the covers and scrolling on his phone when you left.

you knew your boyfriend wouldn’t mention a single word about taehyung’s birthday. it’s fine, you didn’t want to go anyways. but on the 29th, the bastard knocked on your bedroom door. “are you close with tae?”

hearing the name being mentioned, you feel a thump in your chest. “what?”

he told you to go check the group chat. you find the group chat that has been covered by messages.

taehyung: birthday on the 30th

taehyung: bring your friends family idk

taehyung: i can't cook for shit so we going to the club to eat

then a bunch of useless and random messages flooded the group chat.

then you find a message mentioning you.

taehyung: @y/n are you coming?

you have not talked in the group chat in ages and the mention of you is shocking. knowing that you probably cannot hide in the group chat for any longer, you were forced to respond. “yeah i'll go with him.” mentioning your boyfriend (unfortunately). your boyfriend looks up from the text and smiles at you. “hm. that’s cute of you, babe.” and he comes closer to you, putting his hands on you. you could not help but think about the uncomfortable moments you have shared with him and turn away in decline. “sleep early. goodnight.” he was used to you denying most of the contact between you two, he left you alone, and soonly fell asleep.

you feel the vibration from the phone on your chest, and in the darkness, you unlock and tap on the notification badge.

taehyung: no need for presents <3

you find a smile creeping onto your face at the playful text.

y/n: who said i wanted to give you a present anyway

taehyung: give me u? ;)

your fingers stop typing when you read the message.

taehyung: actually

taehyung: i would love a kiss

he’s such a flirt it’s hard to handle it. also, you two are just friends with benefits, why is he so desperate for a kiss. in fact, you two are barely even considered friends, nor with benefits.

taehyung: rest well, see you on the 30th.

you smile at the text.

the day of his birthday, your boyfriend picks you up from work to head to taehyung’s birthday party. the car ride was silent and very, very awkward. you didn’t want to say anything and he didn’t seem like he wanted to communicate with anyone.

when you two arrived at the booked club, you met eyes with the supposed girl that your boyfriend has been spending his time with every day. she seemed to be making a phone call, or just blatantly waiting for your boyfriend to arrive. they made a good second long eye contact, and you walked past and into the restaurant. the girl following you two as if she has just ‘finished’ her call at the same time you two arrived. if you didn’t know everything, this gesture would’ve looked completely normal. in fact, everything would’ve looked completely normal. (even the fact that she came over nearly every day you were at work and left minutes before you arrived back home, pulling a fake smile to greet you every time you two bumped and you still remained clueless.) now what you think about it, you are such an idiot.

your boyfriend tugs on your hand as you two walk in and greet everyone, just like normal. your eyes search for the familiar face and he is looking straight at you. your boyfriend leads you to taehyung and wishes him a happy birthday, then jokes around with him like normal. “oh, the birthday boy didn’t bring a girl with him today?”

taehyung looks up lazily at him and takes a sip of his coke before checking out your outfit. then opening his mouth to speak. “well, didn’t you bring the girl for me?”

you feel your hands sweat at the scandalous speech that taehyung had just made.

your boyfriend freezes and tightens his grasp on your waist. you resist yourself from shutting your eyes at whatever was going to happen the next second. your boyfriend lets out a light laugh. “hey man, i only have one girl. what would i have if i gave her to you?” taehyung gives him a side glance and uses his chin to point at the girl that was following behind you two, the girl you are way too familiar with.

“what do you mean bro? you still have her.”

you try to not smile at how good this feeling felt. your boyfriend couldn’t get a word out of your mouth and the entire room was silent. it was taehyung who broke the silence once again. he looked back at you from his phone, and switched his glance back onto your boyfriend. “just joking, man, why do you look serious?” you see the girl storm out from the corner of the room. “hey everybody, make space for y/n.” your boyfriend speaks and sits down on an empty scene, observing everyone in the room. you see the girl who you bumped into the other night when you had arrived at the hotel, you see taehyung, of course. a bunch of people smoking on another table. the room was crowded, yet it felt empty at the same time.

just then, your boyfriend’s phone rang. he placed a hand on your shoulder. “i’m going to go answer the call babe.” you knew what he meant by ‘answer the call’, probably just heading out to calm down his other girl. he left and you were left sitting there by yourself, just watching the boys play poker or whatever game that was. the room was filled with loud chatter and you found it quite annoying.

a good 15 minutes went past and you were browsing on your phone as your boyfriend came back, you caught a whiff of an unfamiliar perfume and immediately knew what’s up. feeling empty and the sense of nausea, you excused yourself to the bathroom. the dinner was loud and noisy, at least 25 people were there, eating, drinking, singing karaoke, taehyung was sitting on the leather couch in front of you, a girl practically draped over him, and he looked completely unbothered. you walk into the singular bathroom stall and go through all your social media apps. no messages.

you catch yourself that you are actually waiting for someone to talk to you.

a specific person.

you walk out of the stall and splash your face with cold tap water, calming yourself down.

when you have walked back into the place, you see your boyfriend with the girl, two people completely stuck together, browsing on a phone. heads touching and not knowing that you were getting closer. when he realizes that you have already made your way to the seat next to him, he pushes the girl away and puts an arm over your shoulder.

“i want to leave.” you sit down back on your seat and suggest. it’s already midnight and half of the people had left. “baby, i’ll go with you soon.” you decided to just close your mouth and go back on your phone, knowing that he will not obviously leave with you anytime soon. “tae booked rooms for us too, cos you know, drink driving and all. so we don’t have to go back.” you nod.

“y/n!” you look up when you hear your name being called by the girl who you had bumped into when you visited taehyung in the hotel room (her calling him by his first name and asking why he took so long to buy beer): “come here.” you walk over to her, confused. she holds you by the hand and sits you down. you sat down only to realize that she purposely sat you down between her and taehyung. you look at him for a split second, he sits up a little straighter and opens a can of beer, passing it to you. you pretend nothing went on and took the can, muttering a small ‘thanks.’

“taehyung. pass me the cards.” the friendly girl called to him and you leaned back in your seat, thinking he was going to pass it from the front. but obviously, you’re wrong. you lean back slightly and touch his arm, leaving you a little frightened.

the girl takes the cards from her side and he moves his hand back, but not back to him. he pats your back and caresses the skin lightly. you turn to look at him, he drank a lot today. red tint on his cheeks and a small smile pierced on his lips. the hand moves down and stops on your waist. you move your attention onto your boyfriend, who’s currently doing god-knows-what, obviously clueless to what is happening between you and tae.

you move back to the position you were in before and take the can of beer and take a big sip, washing the feelings down and avoiding the grip he has on your waist. you watch your boyfriend sit closer to you guys, asking what you guys were going to play. and of course, his ‘other girl’ followed. “truth or dare….duh!”

and the game started.

by round 5, you were caught. “truth or dare, y/n?”

you knew what was dare going to be, ‘pose your favorite sex position, chug a coke bottle, deepthroat a banana.’ the usual.

“truth.”

“okay….hm…..how did you fall in love with your boyfriend?”

your boyfriend looked at you, hinting for a good answer, one that he can feel proud about and brag to the boys about.

you ignore it and give your honest answer. “his outfit on the day we went on our first date.”

it was something you never mentioned or said to him because he obviously was taken by surprise. and it was true. that day your boyfriend was wearing a silk button-up with baggy khaki pants, leather shoes, and styled fluffy hair. it was something you would never forget, although it was kind of weird that he never wore anything in that kind of style afterward.

the other person continued asking: “so what kind of outfit was it?!”

“that’s the second question,” you answer and he nods, starting the next round.

after the game, you guys finally returned back to the rooms. and of course, he had to bring up the question. “you liked me because of my outfit?” it wasn’t even in a joking tone, he sounded angry. “well….yeah….at first it was the outfit….then…..”

you didn’t finish the sentence.

then you stopped liking him.

you wished you had the courage to say that out loud. but you didn’t. and he nodded before sitting on the bed with you, obviously wanting to do more that night.

you refused and pulled out a random excuse, telling him you’re on your period and have really bad cramps. he huffs and goes back on his phone, texting someone. a good minute passed and he excused himself to ‘buy some cigarettes downstairs”.

buy some cigarettes?

in a bathrobe?

funny.

he shuts the hotel room door and you peek from the key eye that he disappeared into another room in front of yours.

you get out your phone and text taehyung.

y/n: where are you?

taehyung: next to yours

y/n: anyone there?

taehyung: just come over

you change back into the clothing you had on an hour ago and walk over to the room. before even knocking, the door opened. taehyung was also in a white bathrobe, looking down at you: “what does miss y/n want in the middle of the night?”

“spreading the love around the community.” you take out a large branded gift bag and he smiles, offering you to come in the room. he shuts the door behind you and your fingers find their way into his bathrobe. he slowly removes your hand from his chest and clears his throat, reminding you: “there are people here, you’re a bit too eager, miss y/n.”

you turn to find the friendly girl and another boy sitting on the couch, two wine glasses in hand and ‘enjoying the show.’ your face heats up and drops the bag before moving to storm out of the room due to embarrassment. he grabs onto you and tells the two people to leave first.

the girl shakes her head and giggles lightly, “we’re awfully sorry for disturbing you, now, go ‘unwrap’ your present.”

the two people left and your mood also left the room. he chuckles and takes the bag with one and keeps the other hand on your waist. “i’m glad you came.”

you remove his hand from your waist. “it’s your birthday, i had to come.”

“no, not that, i meant i'm glad you came to my room to ‘spread the love around the community.' ” you spack his arm from the reminder that you were probably going to be made fun of that forever.

as if there was even going to be a ‘forever’.

he looks down at the bag curiously. “can i open it?”

“of course.”

the first and only time you went to his house, you were immediately in love with the design and interior of his house, vintage and simple. so you had decided to give him an antique record player because it completely matched his vibe and personality.

“oh shit. i like that. does it work? it is new? how expensive was this thing? the design of this thing is so unique.” he looked as if he quite liked it.

he takes it out of the box and observes it, and carefully back into the packaging, placing it on the couch, he leaned over without any warning. you felt a cold and light peak on your face and by the time he moved away, your face was burning. you bring your hands up to your cheeks and look at him, speechless.

“hey, i said i didn’t want anything but a kiss yesterday.”

“..........”

“thank you very much, y/n”

again, without any warning, you were pushed onto his bed. “taehyung what the fuck-”

“shh. unboxing my present.” he uses one hand to pin both of your hands up, locking you in place. “also, i forgot to tell you. soo-young said she saw the both of them leave to the bathroom for a good 20 minutes when he was ‘making a call’. you didn’t even need to think who he was indicating with ‘them’. rolling your eyes at the disgusting mention of him, you wrapped your arms around his neck.

he looked at you before asking. “why did you come over tonight?”

“....he left for another room.”

taehyung didn’t understand: “is he not interested in you?”

you shake your head. “i said i was on my period.”

he raised his eyebrow in a teasing manner. “really?”

“what do you think? i'm literally here, in your room. under you.”

you don’t know if it was the alcohol that made the both of you a little more braver tonight or was it the excitement that your boyfriend and everyone else didn’t even matter at this moment.

his lips felt soft and warmer than when they were against your cheek. weird, you two have already slept twice, and yet, kissing seemed more intimate than sex. you avoided eye contact when the two of your lips met. his hand found its way onto your neck, forcing you to look at him. the kiss felt passionate, more than what a friends-with-benefits kiss should feel like.

“you kinda suck at kissing, miss y/n.” taehyung muttered between groans.

your only boyfriend was the one you had right now, so you’ve never known the difference between a kiss and another, but now you do, and you are sure that he will be the reason that you will like kissing.

the moments went on and although he was doing many, other things, creating many, other roadmaps around your body, he never stopped the attack on your lips. you gain your consciousness to speak between breaths. telling him to at least stop for a moment or else your lips will swell up, he listened, removing his lips from yours and keeping his hands on your waist, steadily trying to keep you in place while invading your body. and then again, his mouth found the familiar spot. and bit it down.

“tae!”

he hummed and stopped in his movements while looking at you with a huge smirk: “not my fault. i was in the moment, jagi.”

what can you do when he looks like that, hovering above you?

taehyung takes your soft hand and peaks it before speaking through deep groans. “you wanna know a secret….”

his voice was interrupted by your phone’s vibration on the bedside table. he could grab it easily, but he didn’t, ignoring the phone. your hands were placed against his chest. “hey…wait…phone.” but the strength difference between the both of you was so big that you just gave up, and the loving continued.

after another 2 minutes, another phone rang again, it was his this time. and you had finally realized with the little left of brain left in your head, that it could very possibly be that asshole.

calling because of the fact that he went back to the room, but you were not there.

you were sweating everywhere when taehyung reached for his phone this time and answered it in a heartbeat. (or two heartbeats because your heart is beating too fast right now.)

you hear the familiar sound and bite down on your lip, trying not to make a noise, but it was impossible when he was using all his stamina. “hey tae, are you busy right now?”

“yeah, very.” taehyung answers and leans down to kiss you, the phone microphone less than an inch away from your face, you move away and hold your breath. “why did you call me this late?” the other side pauses, then speaks again. “my girlfriend isn’t in the room, i dunno where she went.”

taehyung lets out a laugh. “then how would i know.” after he had said the sentence, he started moving even faster, if that was possible. without any guard, you let out a small sound. definitely knowing what was going on, the other side responded quickly: “oh, you guys continue, i won’t disturb you anymore.” and then ended the call.

“taehyung i have to go back-”

he didn’t even budge.

“no seriously. please.”

“jagi…be patient…” his husky voice came on into your ear and you decided maybe you weren’t that urgent.

you felt like a chunk of dough afterward, head in his chest and his arms embracing you warmly. “soo-young, yeah, just say she’s staying in your room for the night.” he hung up and moved in to connect lips with you again, and you moved away. “angry again?”

you did not respond. “you’re always angry after sex, it’s funny.” you push him away. “i’m going back.” you mumble.

he stares you down. “right now? not scared to be found out?”

“found out what?” you questioned

he looks you up and down. “you do know if you walk out like that, anyone can tell what you just did.”

you realized: “........let me borrow your bathroom then.”

he let go of you, “go ahead, pretty girl.”

you walk into the bathroom and again, like always, observe the ‘crime scene’. the same marks, hickeys, and the one bite mark you’re already used to, you smile. sometimes after a while, you realize that the mark is gone. and that makes you feel empty. it feels when a permanent tattoo is suddenly removed and you’re unused to it. then you were covered by a while soft clothing is thrown at you. you could tell from the light scent that this was no other bathrobe than tae’s. you close your eyes and turn away from the big mirror. you see taehyung get dressed through the foggy and mosaic glass door and knocking comes from the outside. you hear the annoying voice: “soo-young told me she’s in her room. but i don’t know where soo-young’s room is.”

taehyung lazily spoke: “i don’t remember, let the two girls have fun, don’t interrupt them.”

he laughs. “of course, you have a lovely girl with you. you won’t understand the loneliness of having no girl to fuck.”

taehyung responded coldly: “don’t you have another one?”

the other side quietly responded, reminding taehyung to never mention that again in front of you, taehyung reassured him that he will never make jokes like that in front of his girlfriend, and rushed him to leave.

after hearing the door closing, you walked out of the bathroom and taehyung walked behind you, you were taken by surprise when he walks in front of you and his arms looped around your waist and he tucked his head in the crook of your neck comfortably, as if it was made for his face. “hey, tae, my hair’s not dried.” you take a hand and softly play with his hair. he lazily takes his hand and returns the favor, running his fingers through the strands of your hair. “it’s dried~” his voice sounded tired and you slowly led him to the bed. you waited until he fell asleep and covered him with the soft duvet.

his hand reached out as if he wanted to grab something, like a small animal without a sense of security. you laughed to yourself and reached your hand over, and he pulled you into his arms.

this was your first time staying overnight, but you were already so used to his scent that it felt like home already. you fell asleep in his embrace safely and easily.

you woke up not knowing what time it was. the curtains were blocking all the light, so you had to check your phone for the time. it was only 8 am, there was an unread message from soo-young. “Hey I have sleeping tantrums so they won’t disturb me- I normally sleep till 10 or noon.” you knew the text was just informing you that you can stay at tae’s until 10 am. from the few interactions with soo young last night, you have figured out that she was no other than a friend of taehyung’s that is super nice and bubbly.

you feel taehyung shift behind you into a better position, your back is touching his chest, and you can feel his slow rising of the chest and the sound of his gentle and soft heartbeat. you put your phone down and turn over to him. he opened his eyes slightly to only see that you turned towards him, and your eyes are now closed. his hand found its way to your soft strands and caressed them like usual, and you two fell back into sleep.

the second time waking up was when you heard the tap running from the bathroom. the other side of the bed was already empty, and you watched the boy walk from the direction of the bathroom. “good morning.” he greeted you and bent down to peak your lips. you could taste the freshness of mouthwash and see small water drops on his long eyelashes, his eyes are dark and bright, and reflecting you. “did you sleep well, jagi?” you nod in response.

he squished your cheeks softly and spoke and instructed you like a parent. “he woke up, i’ll drag him down for breakfast now, and soo-young will pick you up and you two can go down together.” you nodded again and he patted your head. “do you specifically want to eat something? i’ll order in advance.”

“...i don’t have much appetite.” you replied and watched as he put on his yellow hoodie.

after half an hour, soo-young knocked on your door, the both of you walked downstairs and started chatting. you got to know that she was classmates with both taehyung and your boyfriend. she said many good things about taehyung when they were classmates, she completely refreshed your opinion about him.

you wanted to know if soo young had watched his sexual partners changed, if he treated them all differently, if they were pretty, if he spent time with them outside of having sex, if he ever felt attracted to them, you wanted to know it all. but who were you to ask? who said you were that important?

you hesitated for a second to ask the question lingering in your head all along: “.......is he always so gentle with his partners?”

so gentle it feels like love.

oh god you wished she refused, so you can stop making a fool of yourself. so you can stop this ‘trade’ with him, so you can move away before you fall in love, so you can distance yourself from him. but soo-young shook her head. “no, it’s because it's you are-” her voice stops when the elevator opens to reveal no other than the unwelcomed girl. soo-young greeted her with a forced voice and she explained (as if the two of you asked) that she had already eaten and wanted to go back to sleep. “you must’ve been pretty wild last night. very dark circles.” soo-young joked and the girl rolled her eyes before staring right at you. “i’m so lonely and single….how would i be wilding around with other men?” she emphasised on the other men and you walked out of the elevator with soo-young without sparing her a glance.

you and soo-young made way into the room and you walked to sit with your boyfriend, then soo-young next to you, and then tae. your boyfriend immediately started offering you coffee and toast, helping you to spread jam and you thanked him quietly. when you all had finished breakfast, everyone left to tidy up their hotel rooms.

you and your boyfriend met soo-young and taehyung outside the elevator afterwards. your boyfriend had his arm around you and was laughed when he saw taehyung, jokingly asking him about ‘the chick you were fucking last night’. then you feel the atmosphere changed, you look up from your phone and onto taehyung. to spot the wine red wool scarf you were wearing last night to the party, now wrapped around taehyung’s neck. the hand wrapped across you immediately stiffens. you realized that the reason why you felt so naked and revealed was due to the fact that you forgot your scarf in his room.your mind goes blank and your face flushes pale. that second, you felt completely stripped away.

“that scarf….isn’t that y/ns?”

taehyung looked at you, and smiled: “hm? i don’t know, i found it in my room.”

and that was it.

you wanted to run away or dig a hole and bury yourself into the ground forever.

when taehyung’s last words came out and into the air, everything went silent. you kept your eyes focused on the empty elevator that has just arrived, unable to get yourself to look at anyone else.

your boyfriend speaks again: “explain it then.“

soo-young clears the atmosphere quickly, “taehyung stop fucking joking. it’s not funny!”

she then carries on to “explain” it to your boyfriend that you left it in her room and taehyung said it was cold so he took it off her to wear it.

not going to lie, that was very convincing considering it was something tae would do. but your boyfriend was too angry to comprehend words or even use his brain (as if he had one.) “take it off.”

“what if i don’t want to?”

your boyfriend lets go of your shoulder and reaches his arm over to yank the scarf off. before he could, two of taehyung’s other friends came and immediately pulled them away, thinking they were going to start beating each other up. they got both of them into the elevator and started asking soo-young wha happened, she kept her arms linked with yours and stayed silent. then you hear a serious voice again. “take the scarf off.”

taehyung did not listen to him, instead, he leaned towards you and looked into your eyes, as if he was pleading for something. “y/n, i’m kinda cold, do i have to take it off?”

you wished you could’ve said something but you knew that even another word would completely wreck this mood that was already terribly bad. you guys had reached the car park and split paths. your boyfriend was more than angry, like a monster. he drove the car so fast that you had to grab onto the safety belt. you bite down on your lips as you slowly mutter out two words: “i’m scared.” his hands tightened on the driving wheel and sped up, as if it was even possible. you gave it a minute or two and spoke calmly.

“it’s just a scarf. you gave her half your wardrobe and i didn’t say shit.” he immediately knew who you meant by ‘her’, he remained to stay silent and you felt relieved, he slowed down the speed and you took a deep breath. you felt scared two minutes ago but right now, you’re enjoying the sweet taste of victory. after you two had arrived home he walked in front of you, stepping into the bedroom and slamming the door shut loudly, but you did not bother.

you were in a good mood, walking into the kitchen and making yourself noodles, then ignoring his existence as you enjoyed the night of silence.

the second day came quickly and you woke up from the couch and received a text before you got to work.

taehyung: are you okay? did he do anything bad?

y/n: no he didn’t

you didn’t have enough energy to lash out at him for wearing the scarf out, you didn’t want to ask him why he did what he did.

taehyung answered in less than a second: good, i was so worried about you.

taehyung: fuck, i’m so sorry for doing that. i don’t know why i did it. it was so childish of me. i have been beating myself up the whole night because i did that.

you read the text over and over again before responding. “never again.” the text wasn’t to scold, it was a meaning that you don’t ever want to interact with him ever again. you don’t want anything to do with him now. but you couldn’t get yourself to say that although you mean it.

he obviously did not know what you meant by ‘never again’, responding again: do you have time tonight? i want to have dinner with you.

y/n: it’s gonna be pretty awkward

this time he sent over a voicemail, “hey, don’t answer so quickly. it's going to be more awkward if we never ever talk it out, right? i just wanted to spend time with you to talk it out, we can go to my friend’s restaurant, the food there is great, it’s italian.”

his side was quiet, the only thing you can hear being his voice. you can hear how clean and pure his voice is. the first half was more of a joking tone, and the last half was completely serious.

taehyung: please, jagi, give me a chance to apologize in person.

you could not resist the voicemail and the text, answering an ‘okay’.

taehyung: tell me when you’re off, i’ll pick you up.

you sent your address and the time over, and he responded with a cheeky emoji.

the afternoon arrived and you left 10 minutes early, standing outside of your workplace, you start typing a message to taehyung as you spot in the middle of your eye, a very familiar car. you felt like a cat whose tail had just been stepped on, you peek at the man who’s currently sitting on the driver's seat and playing on his phone, unable to believe that your own cheating boyfriend is speculating that you are cheating so now he is on a mission to stalk you every day after work. you quickly caught a taxi and jumped on it, giving the driver a random area to drive to, then turning slightly, you find the same car following you.

a call form taehyung came by and you answered it with trembling fingers “i don’t think im free tonight, he’s following me.”“mhm. i know.” taehyung’s warm voice came through and you felt calmed by his soft voice.

“how do you know?”

“i saw him when he was tryna find a parking spot. he didn’t see me though.”

“so you were here ages ago?”

“yeah, waiting for you.”

you smiled and ended the call and called a friend asking if you can come over to hang. she agreed and you made your way to her place. you did not want to go home. it felt like a prison back home. after having dinner, taehyung texted.

taehyung: ate dinner?

y/n: yeah you?

taehyung: can you come downstairs? i have something for you.

you didn’t understand the text until you read it again: “where are you?”

taehyung: parking lot, he left, don’t worry.

you calculated the time, it has been at least 3 hours since you have arrived at your friend’s house, does that mean has been waiting for at least 3 hours downstairs?

you excused yourself and put on your coat to run downstairs. you spot his car when you walked down, he opened the door and you couldn’t help but to smile when you met eyes with him.

it has only been a day since you last saw him, but it was a very, very tiring day.

his hair was long and nearly covering his eyes, wearing a sweater vest over a long white blouse. he had a warm smile on his face when he walked towards you. he stopped in front of you and helped you fold your coat collar down. “you must’ve really wanted to see me, didn’t even wear your coat properly.” you look up at him. “did you stay here waiting for me?”

he hummed in response. “i'm afraid there won't be any taxis by the time you leave.”

“didn’t i tell you that i won’t make it to see you today though?”

his glance softened and he mumbles under his breath. “but……i really wanna see you……plus, it’s the last day of the year…” his voice trails on the last word and you feel yourself melt. “don’t try to seduce me, kim taehyung.” he laughs at the comment: “i actually have something for you.”

“what?”

“your scarf.”

you declined and refused to take the bag from his hand. “you don’t have to give it back.” the scarf would bring up the moment you want to forget so bad.

he nudges you gently. “just open it even if you don’t want it.” you look at the bag and observe the logo on the cream white bag. it wasn’t just a normal random paper bag, it looks brand new and just bought. you slowly take the scarf out of the bag, to find a similar scarf as the one yesterday, but more expensive.

after seeing the scarf, you put it back into the packaging bag. “return it, i can’t take that.”

“but i really don’t want to give you your old scarf, it reminds me of you…” you told him that you don’t need him to give it back. “i don’t like owning other people things. i give all my friends things, infact, our relationship is definitely more than friends at this point…right?”

of course. of course you two are more than friends. you two skipped the step where you ‘be friends’, you two are not up to the level of ‘cheater and cheating partner’. you two are complicated.

you pause before overthinking more into this situation and take the bag from him slowly, “thank you.”

he pinches your cheek and smiles at the gesture.

he then sent you home, but parked his car a little away from your house, knowing to keep distance in case something unexpected happened. you walk for a few minutes, turning around before you enter the building. he was leaning on his car door, staring into the night like a peaceful painting. and then you remembered what you had forgotten, you had forgotten to tell him that you don’t want to contact or meet with him ever again. but you were sure that even if you remembered the idea, you probably couldn’t even get yourself to say it to him face to face.

even though you hesitated texting it to him too. you were so used to the greed and clinging feeling you could have and enjoy with him, you enjoyed the gentle and softness he always made you feel but at the same time, felt as if it was never there.

before you had walked upstairs to reach your house, you received another text form taehyung.

taehyung: don’t go home.

y/n: ?

taehyung: break up with him.

you didn‘t pay much attention to it, the day was tiring and it is finally the last day of the year. work has been tiring you out and you felt your entire body hurt from overworking and staying up too late to catch up on deadlines. all you wanted to was to hop into bed and sleep the night away. and tomorrow will be a brand new year. it will be a new day and you will gain enough courage to actually do what you intended to do-

he was waiting for you by the front door. you force a smile and try to squeeze past into the house. “nuh-uh. baby.” your boyfriend blocks you by the doorway and you roll your eyes impatiently. “why can’t we talk and do whatever tomorrow? i’m really tired-” you feel your eyes being covered by complete darkness. he grabbed your arm and led you into the room. you felt as if something was going to happen. and you don’t like the feeling of this. “what…the fuck are you doing?” you knew your house by heart, knowing exactly where you are right now and where he is now leading you to: the kitchen.

he lets out a laugh, “well….remembered the place we always went for dessert? they shut down in the middle of the year when we were studying in uni. i finally found the baker and paid them to make the exact cake you liked….wanna try?”

you don’t know how to describe the feeling you were feeling now. this is not something he would be doing and you are sure that he had other plans than just ‘ordering you a cake’. you kept silent when you smell the sweet scent from the cake being passed to you. you don’t take it. you don’t dare to take it. “just try it, y/n. i spent too long waiting for it.”

he nudged your mouth with the fork and you delayed to take the bite in. to be very honest, you had completely forgotten the taste of the cake, you didn’t care if he actually fed you cake or poison or a block of sponge, you wanted the night to be over. or even better, you wanted to see taehyung instead of him.

then you pause.

you move your hand up to take the item out of your mouth while the other hand reaches to yank the eye mask off.

the room was not bright enough to make your eyes hurt, you scan around quickly and figured out what was going to happen in the next few minutes. there are candlelights on the dining table, pink balloons floating in the air, you see a few boys with champagne in their hands, standing with the man who is currently looking at you with a smirk, they are ready to celebrate this. you hear someone run up the stairs, and you turn to see no other person than tae, he must’ve checked his phone after spending the hour with you. there was no light in his eyes when they met yours. they were dark and emotionless.

because the thing in your hand was a diamond ring.

you stand still in your spot, circled by the pink balloons that spell out ‘marry me’, completely shocked by the fact that he was going to propose to you because he knew that you had found out of his disgusting behaviour and using this ‘marriage’ to cover everything up has been the best plan in his opinion. before he could even get down on his knees to say whatever disgusting and unrealistic things he had to say, you stopped him.

“why don’t you go and marry that girl instead.” you point to the girl with a fake smile plastered on your face. “that bitch seemed to be everywhere you were anyways.” the atmosphere changed when you had spoken those words.

you watch his face freeze for a slight second and he breaks into a small smile, “babe….stop joking…what are you talking about?” the girl standing in the corner seemed to be stuck by your words, unable to move and tears swelled up in her face, but unable to fall out either. you nod and smile at everyone, including the girls: “haha..yeah just a joke guys.” the others obviously knew what was going to happen next, bringing up some excuse and leaving hastily, wishing you guys well although they know for fuck sure that you guys will obviously, not have a well night.

when you turned, you realised that taehyung had also left with the others. you ignore whatever will happen soon and make way into the bedroom, leaving the proposer in the living room to clean up the mess, not only the mess in the room, but the mess in his heart. you lock the room behind your room and see the two messages tae sent when he left your place just minutes ago, but it felt like hours, maybe even years.

taehyung: broken up?

taehyung: watch him apologize and call it a misunderstanding

taehyung: you’re not gonna marry that asshole right?

you couldn’t help but tease him. “nah im gonna marry him and then secretly cheat with u on him

taehyung: :) bye

after the man outside had cleaned the room, you hear him try to open your bedroom door. you take a deep breath, knowing what will come in a few seconds. “open the door, let’s talk.” his voice came over and you didn’t give it any attention other than taking the silver ring from your bedside table, walking to the door and sliding it to him from under the door. “i want to talk to you.” you suggested and he continued to speak cheekily. “babe, then open the door, we can talk.”

you didn’t open the door, still talking through the door. “i don’t want to marry you.” he went silent for a few seconds, “why? am i not doing something right?” you find it amazingly annoying how he still thinks that this is a joke, and through the door, you decided to speak honestly with him. “i like someone else.”

his voice sounds a little more disappointed and emotional now, “kim taehyung, right?” you hummed in response. he was trying to resist anger, you can hear it. “we’ve been together for so long…we have love, you only have liking for him. he’s just a fuck boy, he isn’t worth your liking, y/n….”

you smirked at what you were going to say next: “i not only like him, i fucked him.”

dead silence.

you repeat it again: “i slept with tae.”

he knocks loudly at the wooden door, “open the door and we can discuss this.”

you knew better to not open the door, you knew how angry he was going to be, and you were not going to risk anything. “look, you’ve also done many other filthy shit behind my back, with that bitch, there was no point of being so angry about the fact that i fucked taehyung-” before you could finish, a loud noise came from the door, so strong that you watched the dust form the walls bounce off.

he kicked the door. you back away. he aggressively turns the metal handle. “open the fucking door!” your heart is beating fast, not only from fright, but also excitement. although there was fear, you felt good about getting him back this way. this was more exciting than walking in on them, this was more exciting than calling them out at a dinner. he felt angry, and he should. he should feel very angry.

it was impossible for him to break the door, the door was made from quality and hardwood, the lock was secure and impossible for one man to break. you pushed the desk over to also strengthen the already very strong door. he swore and fought the door for a long time, and until when he was finally tired, he threatened you through the door. “trust me, if you don’t open the door, i’ll burn this entire house down.” you replied calmly. “i called the guards, if anything unsafe happens, they’ll rush here in a sec.”

he felt defeated yet still wanted to talk it out. “....can you tell me when it happened?”

silence. “was it the time when you were at soo young’s room? you were in his? that night?” you didn’t try to deny it. “then….”he stopped asking now, and you hear his footsteps trailing away. you continued tidying your things and sent a text to a friend, asking her to come and pick you up. then you received a text from taehyung.

taehyung: what happened?

taehyung: he told me to come back to your place

taehyung: seriously, what happened?

y/n: don’t. fucking. come.

taehyung: ?

y/n: i told him things! don’t come up unless u want him to beat ur ass

taehyung: i'm not scared of that assbag

before you could send the last text out of frustration, you hear knocking come out from the front door. alright, then that was quite speedy. you take a deep breath to prepare for what was going to happen next. you try to move the desk that was blocking the door away, but found it extremely hard to move the desk away now that you have pressed it against the door, you struggled to push it away until you could open a small creak between the door, but it was still too small for you to peep out. you hear the front door being opened and your boyfriend reminding taehyung to take off his shoes. taehyung didn’t seem to move at all, instead asking where you were.

he insisted that taehyung should change his shoes. “i just cleaned the room, take your shoes off.” you push the desk a little bit more, finally being able to see the living room from your room. taehyung heard the sound of the desk being moved against the hard wooden floor, making a step to where your room was, but immediately pulled back by the other man. “take your fucking shoes off.” tae moved his arm to shake the hand off, but resulted in being blocked by the opponent. he spoke with no emotions on his face.

“you’re gonna sleep with my woman i have slept with,,,you’re gonna pick up the trash that i have discarded? you have problems, dude.” taehyung ignored him and still tried to walk towards you, but dragged once again, and this time. it was not only a drag but a harsh punch.

you hear a groan from taehyung, knowing that that punch was filled with very much rage and anger and if definitely had hurt him. you felt your heartache and your body’s first instinct was to run and check if he was okay, you push the desk to the other side as hard as you can, but you could not think straight enough to get yourself out of this trap you have created. taehyung gave you a reassuring smile when your eyes met him, his lip was now bleeding slightly and you felt tears swell up in your eyes. taehyung licked his lips and turned his head towards the very angry man standing behind him: “did i owe you this punch or am i supposed to be the one punching you, dickhead?” after hearing the words, his eyes went completely black, running to hover over taehyung, taehyung ducks and moves away, speaking again. “sleeping with your woman? ask yourself, was she supposed to be yours?” taehyung feels his collar being grabbed onto by the man, “so? she’s mine right now!” tae lets out a small smirk and moves his hands away from his collar. “if it wasn’t me, do you think you would be here with her right now?” after the sentence, you watch the anger disappear out of his eyes, he muttered under his breath. “you promised me you won’t ever speak about this ever again.”

taehyung laughs and nods. “well, i’ll take it back now.” the anger burns up again and before anything else could have a chance to happen, you speak. “look, i got with him because i found out you cheated on me weeks ago.” he stopped everything, looking back at you, first you find the look of shock, then the look of hope, of a liar. “look, i don’t have any feelings for her, it was a short term thing, everything ended. i promise, it will never happen again.” his eyes lit up as he tried to sound convincing enough: “please! from today on nothing will happen, i won’t care about anything you did. we can start again, it’ s easy.”

you shake your head. “no.” your heart starts hunting more and you try to not let any feelings get in the way, this is over. no more apologies will work. you decided this from day one.

he knew you enough to know that you never break up casually, in fact, you never did. you try very hard to avoid conflict and breaking up. so when you had declined his offer, he knew exactly what you meant about this relationship that had died long ago. you watch the light disappear in his eyes as he squats down, mumbling apologies as if they were only for him to hear. there was no one blocking tae now, meaning he could come to you. he took calm steps to you, knocking on the door frame: “back away.” you move back steadily and you watch him kick the door that both the door and the desk move to the side, the corner of the desk making a huge line of scraped up wall paint. he takes your suitcase with one hand and the other hand wraps itself around your body. “is there anything left?” you shake your head and take the suitcase from him, moving in front of him to escape his grasp.

the now silent man didn’t block you two from leaving this time. you two walked into the elevator silently. taehyung keeps his gaze off you, and you watch the door close, then turn back to him. “thank you.” he keeps his eyes focused on the level buttons. “for what?” you were confused by the sudden attitude that had made you confused as to why you were even thanking him in the first place “....thank you for kicking the door open for me…?” he smiles at your sentence, finally looking down at you. you noticed the swollen mark on his face, it now is vividly red and bruised too. he sees your glance fall from his eyes down to his lips, and onto the injury. “i owe him that. that punch.” you felt as if you weren’t supposed to be in between the two friends, to cause this scene and wreck their friendship. “i’m so sorry…i shouldn’t have told him it was you…in fact…i shouldn’t have ever done it.” you blurted out that ‘you slept with tae’ because you wanted revenge, you wanted him to feel what you felt for days and nights beforehand, and it was going to be worse because it’s his friend taehyung.

“it’s okay, y/n. it wasn’t a strong friendship…he was always a selfish asshole. so i’m glad you told him, to be honest, i'm more afraid if you never told him about us.” he smiles, reassuring you, he reaches his hand over to caress your hair, opening his mouth to speak again. “oh god..imagine if he didn’t call me over because you didn’t tell him anything….you would not be having a great time right now.” you argue: “i locked the door for a reason.” he looks at you seriously. “doesn’t trapping yourself in a bedroom make this situation even more sticky than it already was?” you went speechless, he had a point.

“wait,” you questioned. “you left for a while, so how did you get back here so fast?” the escalator has arrived in time, he walks behind you with your suitcase, the other hand ghosting around your waist, still leaving you some personal space, answering you. “i never left.”

you raise your eyebrows in surprise, “how did you sense that i was going to confess what we did to him?” he shakes his head. “i didn’t know, not only that, i even thought that you may agree to the proposal and choose him. i had that illusion when i shut the door behind me.” you were confused. “then how did you…” you ask back in confusion, he doesn’t explain further, finding his car and putting your suitcase in the trunk, then proceeding to open the door for you, but not shutting the door when you sat in, he just stood there, watching you grab the seat belt and proceeding to try and lock it.

at last, his voice sounded as light as feathers floating into the atmosphere. “i just couldn’t get myself to leave you behind.”

your action stops with your heart. it was impossible for you to stay serious and lock the seatbelt in place, you look up at him for the millionth time today. “taehyung…i don’t want to play this game anymore.” his face changes immediately. “what do you mean?”

“im single now. don’t try to seduce me or else you’ll be stuck with me for the rest of your life.” you smile cheekily and he lets out a breath that he has started to hold for the last few seconds.

“of course i know that. i would love if if you were stuck with me for the rest of our lives.” he moved closer and bends over to help you with your seatbelt. he looks straight at you with reassurance in his eyes. “i know it’s gonna sound weird, but i'm glad you decided to contact me when you were looking for your ‘cheating partner’.” he laughed and you followed, both feeling relieved.

you lean back in your seat to maintain distance before asking a question that has just popped into your mind. “hey, what did you mean by the words you said to him?”

the sentence and the scene when taehyung smirked and removed the man’s hands off his white-collar came back into your brain. “if it wasn’t me, do you think you would be here with her right now?” what did it mean?

taehyung’s eyes formed a line as he smiled. “i'll tell you if you kiss me.”

you shake your head immediately. “never mind then. mr taehyung said my kissing skills sucked.” he laughed. “well you sure do hold grudges....”

he shut the car door and walked to the driver’s seat, starting the car he looked at you, after gaining your attention away from the phone and onto him, he raised his eyebrows before whispering, “hey, wanna know a secret?” “yeah..what?” you ask. he gestured with his pointer finger to come closer. “come closer.” your ears straightened themselves to know the secret as you moved closer, but instead surprised by a small peak on your cheek. your hands raise up to cover your cheek and you fall back to the seat. “you’re such a dick.”

he chuckled before speaking. “the secret is that, you know the outfit he wore on the first date with you? yeah, it was actually my outfit. bitch went through my closet and stole my fit for the day.” you giggle and nod. no wonder he never wore that kind of clothes in the future. he keeps his eyes on you and you patiently wait for him to start driving.

“are you gonna drive?” you ask impatiently and his hands find their way to hold onto your wrists. “hey hey hey, really not a kiss?” with the pleading tone in his voice, you couldn't say no, just nodding and he moved towards you, your lips crashed and you were completely under his control. your lips moved against his and your lips stuck to each other perfectly like two puzzle pieces. your breath starts to become heavy and harder to breathe. your face heats up and reddens all the way to your earlobes. he pulls away and mutters under his breath with his husky voice. “fuck…..i cant promise what will happen if we continue this on the car…” you cover your face with your hands and talk through your hands. “..exactly, so let’s get out of here.” he knits his brows, “where are we going then, miss y/n?” you smile cheekily and move your hands away from your face and check the time. 11:45 PM.

“mr taehyung, are you currently looking for a roommate for the new year?”

“hm. not really. i am looking for a y/n to spend the new year with though.” he smiles lightly and starts driving home. your home. his home. home for two.

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

the clock strikes twelve o’clock. the fireworks make their way into the night sky and you can hear cheering from afar. you are on the couch and in his lap. the huge window showing you everything happening around you, the colors with the pouring snow in front of you through the glass and behind you, you have him and his warm body, something that you have never dared thinking about is happening to you this moment. right here, right now, this is your home and you belong here.

the snow continued and you stayed comfortably in his lap, and descended to dreamland. happy new year, kim taehyung. in the light slumber, you feel a familiar hand rubbing your hair with such care, and a deep, soft whisper coming from the boy, his chest vibrating with every syllable.

“happy new years, y/n.”

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

it was quiet in the house when you woke up in the middle of the night due to not being in his embrace. the night has finally silenced down, no more new year cheers and fireworks. you walk around the large house, trying to search for the familiar person. the tiles were cold on your feet as you travelled from the living room to the kitchen, then finding him sitting by the kitchen island. the moonlight shined a shard down to the ground and you watched his side profile. in a black silk blouse, unbuttoned and a slender hand grabbing onto a wine glass filled with a red liquor. he turned to look at you after feeling your glance on him. “come here.” he said in a low voice, almost like a whisper. you make your way over, watching him take the rest of the liquid in one sip, swallowing before wrapping his hand around your wrist. he pulls you closer and blocks your lips with his.

you can still taste the intense wine on his tongue when he connects his soft lips with yours. the intensity of the sour yet sweet alcohol burns your throat. your instinct made you wrap your arms around his neck as you made your way comfortably sitting on his lap. slowly moving down your face, your lips found his pretty neck, kissing the smooth skin, you hear him hiss in your ear before he wraps his arms around you to bring you upstairs while his hand slowly crawls up your dress.

his voice rings in your ears once more: “this time let’s make love. not sex. love.” (end.)

thank you so much for taking your time to enjoy this <3

here is my masterlist if you want to enjoy some more of my writing!

and until next time,

thankq loveys!

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