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loaksky · 5 months

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I don't know if you've done this yet but can we have mean ellie is FWB with the reader but she's jealous when the reader is into someone else 👀

i have not + you know what anon i could kiss your brain rn ! i definitely view this pairing as separate from this fwb!ellie x reader, but this could also technically fit in their early timeline since nothing else has really been established about them...

content warnings: language, ellie being an asshole (very on brand for me to write ig lmao), reader actually sticks up for herself in this one, but eventually folds (i would too for ellie ngl) 18+ content that includes; brief mentions of strap-on sex, fingering (r!receiving), oral (r!receiving).

author’s note: i’ve been so unmotivated to write, but this request awoke something in me idk...also, if you’ve sent in a tlou request (yes even from june), i’m still cooking i promise! (and not in the way that ellie keeps promises in this fic lmfaoo).

main masterlist | tlou masterlist

You didn’t want to say anything at first, couldn’t be too sure under the lowlights of the party with bass-y music that makes both the house and your chest throb with every beat, but you see it clear as day on the drive home and a passing streetpost illuminates the purpling flesh on Ellie’s carotid.

She nearly jumps out of her skin when your fingertips brush over the blooming bruise, obviously fresh and warm to the touch.

“What the fuck?” she huffs, pulling the drawstrings on her hoodie to scrunch to fabric around her neck.

“Who gave you that?” you ask softly, expression on your face enough to devastate, but Ellie’s always been different, an anomaly of sorts when it came to the matters of her stony heart.

“Why does it matter?” she scoffs.

“Ellie,” you sigh. “You know why it matters.”

She’s swinging a right at the intersection, nearing the residential you live in.

“It doesn’t,” she grunts. “Because at the end of the night, it’s you I’m fucking, isn’t it?”

And you don’t know why the way she puts it stings so much this time around when she frequently reminds you both directly and indirectly that while you may be her most recurrent hookup, you’re definitely not her only one, but it does. Does so much that you’re turning your face towards the window to hide the tears that are pooling.

Because all you wanted was Ellie. Wanted her in ways she wasn’t willing to give you. Wanted to learn and grow with her, but she wasn’t budging and lately, you’ve been feeling stupid.

When she turns into your neighborhood, you speak.

“Just drop me off, please.”

Ellie’s slowing down, palm finding purchase on your thigh.

“Babe, c’mon,” she practically whines, kneading the skin there. “Don’t be like that.”

You shift away from her, gather your purse from your feet as she continues through the different apartment buildings.

“Babe,” she calls again when you barely wait for her to stop and you’re pushing the car door open.

And maybe it’s childish, but you’re wounded and quite frankly done with the back and forth.

“She’s probably waiting for you,” you add petulantly.

“Babe, seriously. You’re being annoying,” she warns.

“And you’re being a dick,” you bite back. “First, you drag me out to a shitty party where I don’t know a single soul even though you promised we could just chill and smoke while watching that stupid fucking space exploration documentary, then when we get there, you’re leaving me with a bunch of sleazy assholes while you do god knows what with the same girl you’ve been telling me not to worry about for the last five weeks.”

And of things Ellie’s looks horrified at, it’s the fact that you’d been observant enough to recognize the girl she’d thought she whisked away before your prying eyes could catch on.

“I’m not fucking stupid, Ellie,” you say with resignation. “I tried to turn the other cheek because I really fucking like you, but you treat me like shit and I deserve better than that.”

Of course you don’t know it, but those fucking words bite. They’re an automatic trigger because unbeknownst to you, both of your friend groups think the same thing. Aren’t afraid to let her know otherwise. And she’s obviously well aware that, Christ, yes, you absolutely deserve better. Is actually really insecure on the low because she doesn’t know why you stick around with a piece of shit like her when you could have so much better.

So she does what she does best when she feels like a kicked puppy and lashes out.

“Of course Little Miss Princess deserves better,” she mocks. “What fucking ever. I don’t know why I flaked on a ten for such a stuck up bitch.”

And you see right through her, know that she’s all bark and no bite, but it hurts regardless, when you step off to the side and she’s leaning over the center console to shut the passenger side door herself.

She’s revving off without another word, and to add insult to injury, your phone’s pinging obnoxiously once you get out of your well-needed shower.

els <3 sent a video.

It’s the blonde from the party. Of course those dumb LEDs pulse red in the background, making Ellie and her flavor of the night look a thousand times more seductive. Ellie’s kissing her sloppily, whispering things against her mouth that you can’t quite pick out.

els <3 sent a video.

The next video’s grainy, but you can hear the tell-tale squelch, the girl’s shaky moans and Ellie egging her on. Your cheeks are on fire and you feel like you’re about to throw up.

els <3 sent a photo.

You wonder if the girl knows, that Ellie’s sending you the most compromising footage of her. If she knows how grimy the green-eyed girl truly is, sending someone else pictures of her stuffed hilt-deep with the same strap Ellie’d used on you.

els <3: still think u deserve better ?

You delete the thread and her phone number.

Ellie expects you to crack first, you always do. Because even if she isn’t shit, she’s your biggest weakness and she knows it. Can say so with confidence, because maybe the same can be said about her.

She hasn’t fucked you in nearly two weeks and not a single body she touches can elicit the same feeling that you do. And in the back of her brain, she knows why, but Ellie’s prideful. Won’t dare admit it out loud.

So she cracks first. Texts you between classes.

me: i have a few joints + a coupon to tino’s if you’ll let me come over… :(

my #1 girl: Who’s this?

Ellie throws her head back and groans.

me: cmon baby, dont b like that. im srry i was mean, ill make it up to u

my #1 girl: I think you have the wrong number…

me: babe stopppp

Her text bubbles turn green after that message.

You forget that Ellie has a copy of your key because she’s never used it in the five months that the two of you have been in this precarious situation, and your heart falls square to your ass when you emerge from the shower to find her setting up a box of pizza on your coffee table.

“Ellie, what in the fuck?”

She feigns nonchalance, pulls a few joints from her jacket pocket. But the aroma of weed or the grease of the pizza isn’t what makes you wrinkle your nose.

It’s the smell of flowers that waft from a pretty vase sitting on the cut away of the kitchen counter.

Your gaze fixes on the girl who settles on your couch.

“You need to leave,” you say stonily.

“But I just got here,” Ellie says. “And I brought you pizza…and flowers.”

“I’m sorry, did you think that a five dollar pizza and a bouquet of flowers from Saver’s was going to fix the fact that you’ve been so fucking awful to me for the past half year?”

Ellie shrinks.

“Well, no…but—”

“You practically sent me a homemade porno of you and some other girl you fucked to get back at me for setting a boundary, Ellie,” you say sharply. “What, did it not work out? Did you—”

“I’m trying to be the bigger person here,” Ellie sighs. “I am sorry. I just—”

“You what?”

“I don’t fucking know, okay?” Ellie snips. “God, you’re talking down to me like you’re a fucking therapist or my fucking mom and—”

You’re shaking your head, crossing the room and picking up the pizza from the coffee table to shove in her arms.

“I don’t have time for this,” you mutter. “Kenzie’s going to be here any minute now—”

“Who the fuck is Kenzie?” Ellie balks, caught like a deer in the headlights.

“Ellie, don’t,” you warn.

“Don’t what?” she practically seethes. “You think I’m just gonna be okay that you’re spending time with some other stupid bitch? Maybe you’ve forgotten, but you’re mine.”

And she shouldn’t have glanced down at your cleavage as you cross your arms over your chest, but Ellie’s weak and you look too fucking pretty for your own good.

“Yours?” you ask incredulously. “Do you hear yourself?”

“Yes, mine,” Ellie affirms. “All fucking mine and no one else’s.”

“God, you’re so full of shit, Ellie,” you scoff. “I’m supposed to be loyal to you and be okay with you having a roster, but I can’t go on a date with someone I genuinely like because it fucks with your brain to have a legitimate interest in somebody?”

“You like her?” Ellie asks in disbelief. “Like, like her, like her?”

“Yes,” you reply without hesitation.

And that makes Ellie’s jaw set, makes her narrow her eyes at you.

“You like her more than me?” she taunts.

And maybe she has you there, but you refuse to give her the upper hand.

“I could learn to,” you answer honestly. “Because Kenzie is kind to me. She doesn’t treat me like an option, doesn’t act like she’s God’s gift to the fucking world and that I should kiss her feet for giving me the time of day. And I get it, you don’t like me the way I like you—”

“You think I don’t like you?” Ellie asks like the thought is unfathomable.

“I don’t think, Ellie, I know. We went into this without any strings attached, we established that it’d just be fucking, but I was honest in telling you that I caught feelings and you used that to your advantage. You lied to me on multiple occasions, you make me look stupid, like I’m fucking crazy.”

And you wish you’d gotten through your spiel without choking up, but Ellie’s the first girl you’d liked in a while even if she was bad news. And when you thought that maybe you could shake her, she’d come barreling back.

“Baby,” she murmurs, face softening as she’s crossing the space between you two to cup your face in her hands.

“Don’t call me that,” you hiccup, trying to push her touch away.

“Babe, stop,” she says firmly. “I’m serious. You think I don’t like you?”

“Well, you don’t fucking act like it,” you mutter. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways because whatever this was is done. You’re free to do what you want, who you want, whether you like me or not.”

God, do you unwittingly light a fire under Ellie’s ass when she thinks of what this Kenzie girl could do to you if she lets you walk out the door. Absolutely loathes the thought of anyone else knowing what you look like in any state of indecency, that you fucking cry watching children’s movies, that you snore like a freight train if you’re tired enough and have a weird ass penchant for pickle chips when you’re high.

“You’re not going on that fucking date,” Ellie says with finality, palms sliding from your shoulders to skim down the length of your arms and situate over the swell of your hips.

“Who says?”

“Me,” she huffs. “Because I’m going to make it up to you and we’re going to smoke these blunts and eat this fucking pizza and I’m going to make you cum so fucking hard, you won’t even remember that you were thinking of leaving me for someone else.”

“You’re not my girlfriend, Ellie,” you reiterate. “You can’t just–”

“Maybe not then, and maybe not in this moment, but I will be,” she says, and the words catch you completely off guard.

She’s catching your bottom lip between hers to further disorient you, kissing you like this could very well be her last.

“Just give me some time,” she whispers, walking you back towards your bedroom. “I’ll get my shit together for you. Promise.”

And you know deep down that you shouldn’t believe her. She’s just feeling territorial and grasping at straws to keep you leashed, but Ellie’s always been such a good kisser and she’s devouring you like she really is sorry.

She’s tossing your against your unmade bed, caging you between lithe limbs as she leans back on her haunches to take you in. Your blouse rides up to reveal the flimsy bands of your lacy little thong and Ellie’s lacking decency as she flips your skirt up to reveal a growing patch of wetness.

“Were you planning on getting fucked or do you always go out like this?” Ellie ponders, fingers rough as she pulls the tiny scrap of fabric down your legs and nearly salivates when a string of your arousal leaves with it.

Your lips part to answer, but her thumb’s dipping between your folds, pad collecting some of your slick from your drooling slit to smear over your achey little bud.

“I asked you a question,” Ellie says gently. “You just gotta be honest with me, baby.”

“S’hot out,” you whimper, fingers closing around her wrist when your body jerks against a particularly delicious stroke of her thumb.

“Yeah?” she clarifies. “You wouldn’t let any else touch you, would you? Not when I take good care of you like this?”

Her other hand comes to toy with your entrance, doesn’t give you any warning before her middle and ring finger are sinking inside slowly.

“Oh, fuck,” you whine.

“You’re my girl, you hear me?” Ellie murmurs, leaning down to catch your clit between her lips. “You’ll be my number one, always.”

She’s teasing at first, tongue languid against your fluttering pussy, but you’re quiet, back of your wrist caught between your teeth to muffle your moans.

One of her hands reach up to yank it away.

“Say it,” she barks, pulling away from your needy heat.

“Ellie,” you whimper.

“Say it,” she repeats firmly.

“M’your girl,” you moan shakily, thighs quivering as she smoothes her palms over the underside of your thighs to push them up to your chest.

“Yeah, you are,” she whispers, spitting harshly on your heat. “My favorite fucking pussy.”

She’s eating you out like she’s missed you, like she’ll only be satisfied when you finally cum. And maybe it’s true.

Maybe not.

Especially when she draws nearly three orgasms from you and practically knocks you out.

You don’t know how long you doze off for, but when you finally wake up, the sun has almost completely set, bathing your room in a burnt orange glow that leaves your dewy skin warm and sticky. And perhaps it’s wishful thinking when you call Ellie’s name, met only with the echo of your raspy voice. After all, you’re tucked on the wrong side of bed, elusive girl nowhere to be found.

As you dress and search for your phone, you can’t even find it in yourself to be surprised.

neng ©️2023

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams au #ellie williams fic #ellie williams #ellie williams smut

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vonter-voman · 1 year

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Lynda Carter will be part of ‘100 Years Of Warner Bros.’ 4-part Documentary Series

Warner Bros. Discovery is reaching back to its past to celebrate a century of entertainment in a new, four-part documentary series.

Narrator Morgan Freeman will guide viewers through “100 Years of Warner Bros.,” offering clips from past TV shows and films, along with takes from the directors, actors, and executives who created the magic, and commentary from journalists and historians who watched it all unfold.

The four specials trace the history from the studio’s humble founding in the early 1920s through its growth into today’s multinational entertainment giant. The first two segments will bow at the Festival de Cannes on May 24 an an Official Cannes Classics selection.

The series will debut on streamer Max starting Thursday, May 25 with the first two specials, followed by the third and fourth segments on June 1 via Max.

All four were directed by filmmaker Leslie Iwerks. More information is available at WB100.com.

#wonder woman #lynda carter #dc comics #warner bros #2023

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lindsglenne · 2 years

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June Movie/TV Wrap Up

Good month! (more…)

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#2022 #blog #blogger #blogging #cinema #currently watching #doc #documentary #Entertainment #entertainment wrap-up #film #june #movie #Movies #television #TV #wrap-up

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senawashere · 5 days

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We're on this together...(Chapter V):

Bradley Bradshaw x Fem!Wife!Reader

Summary: Wind of Change by Scorpions

A/n: Please fasten your seatbelts cause none of yall are ready for this!!

Warnings: MAJOR SMUT (MDI!!) ,Infertility,mentions of miscarrige,mentions of hospital,mentions of getting pregnant,mentiones of ivf.Use of alcohol,arguing,use of bad languange. Mostly angst.

June 4, 2022.

Now, as Bradley drives, he thinks maybe you both need something else, the purring ball of fur in his lap being proof of that.

Excited, he taps his fingers on the steering wheel of his Bronco and hums a song from an 80's rock album, too impatient to park his car in his driveway, as he drives down the street to park in front of his door.

"Okay, man. We're here." He whispers to the barking little brown dog as he leaves his new comfort zone.

Bradley opens the door to his house, holding the puppy, who clings to his black shirt, in utter terror. He can hear Taylor Swift on the speakers, and it makes him smile that you are well enough to get back to your routine.

He walks into the living room, barefoot, and sees you in front of the TV, watching the Reputation Stadium Tour documentary as if it's the first time you're seeing it, and he can't help but feel like everything in him is screaming for this woman.

"Don't blame! Love made me crazy!" You sing the song, your whole body mimicking the choreography until you see him out of the corner of your eye. "Oh, my darling husband...!"

You were in the middle of standing up when you froze at the sight of the puppu, and your eyes and mouth widened as Bradley suppressed his laughter and stayed that way for at least five seconds.

You don't let out a small yelp before the puppy barks. "Did you get us a dog?" You ask, approaching them.

"Yes." He replies with a smile. "Do you want to hold it?"

You look up to meet his eyes and nods slowly, tucking the little animal into your chest, which instantly starts to purr, melting him with your love. This is the first time the two of you have shared a pet.

"He's so cute." You say, kissing his little head. "God, I love him already."

Bradley laughs and wraps his arms around your hips, pulling you closer and resting his cheek on your head, looking at the puppy as he shifts his gaze between his new parents. He already loves you too.

You turn your head to look into his eyes and smile shyly. "Thanks, I love you."

"I love you too." He answers without hesitation, kissing you softly before pulling away. “But we really need to think of a name.”

“Maybe later?” you kneel down, placing the dog on the floor and your gaze drifts to the coffee table in front of the couch.

“The tests came, I didn’t want to open them without you.”

The smile on his face fell, replaced by a nervous grimace, and he nodded quickly, walking with puppy and sitting down with the new family member who had made room for him on the backrest.

He holds one hand on his shaking knee as you open the envelope, holding two letters, one from the doctor and the other with the results.

He looks into your eyes and says;

“No matter what, we’ll be fine and i love you,always will.”

“We’ll be fine.” You repeat, and you look down at the papers to start reading.

“Blood tests, sperm tests, everything – everything’s fine…” You mumble, reading them a few times to make sure you weren’t mistaken. “Everything’s fine.”

“Read the other letter.” Bradley says impatiently, and you drop the piece of paper in your hand to start reading the other one.

“There, everything’s fine! I’m sure it’s all nerves and stress, calm down guys, I know you can do it, but you should always put your health first. Best regards, Dr.Evans .”

Both of is silent, the only thing that can be heard is the purring of the unnamed dog, Bradley is also shaken by the news, excited, and you keep your eyes on the TV, slowly opening his mouth to say it.

“Okay, fuck it.”

You both laugh, then you laugh out loud and he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer, making the dog yelp at the sudden movement.

He kisses all over your face, shaking you from side to side as you try to escape, laughing.

“Stop, Roo!” You scream, stopping to look into his eyes.

His dimples, the big, tight-lipped grin that breaks out on his face when he sees you, his hair messy, his face clean, and his mustache are looking better than it should be.

God, now that he knows it’s okay, there’s nothing he wants more than to put a baby in your womb.

“Brad?” You ask, reaching out to brush the sandy brown hair that has fallen across his forehead.

“I love you so much.” He whispers, pressing kisses to your neck. “You look so beautiful right now.”

“Did the good news turn you on?” Your question makes him laugh and he picks you up in his arms and starts walking towards the stairs.

“But we have to find a name for the puppy!” You exclaim, wrapping your arms around your man’s neck.

“The puppy can wait.” He replies, leading you up the stairs to the shared bedroom and sitting you on the bed. “We’re going to have a baby right away.”

“Oh, really?” You ask, pressing your palms against the mattress and looking down at him. “So how do you know it’ll work this time?”

“I don’t know, but at least we’ll have fun trying.”

He places one hand on your chin, leaning down and guiding your head up so he can kiss you. Slowly, he tastes your lips, making you moan, and you thrust your tongue into his mouth and brush it against his.

You love when Bradley acts like this, he’s so dominant and his hand on your chin slides down to your neck, making you shiver.

You can feel your panties getting wetter and wetter and you shift uncomfortably, rubbing against the bed to create dome friction, making you moan.

Bradley grins and continues kissing you for a few more seconds, sort of just eating your mouth.

When you kiss like this, you always try to kiss long enough for it to be intimate, making him remember that that’s all you do because you don’t have the courage to do more.

He doesn't complain, because Bradley loves to put his bottom lip between his and you love when he sticks his tongue out for you to lick and suck. (I’m sorry it’s weird writing this.)

Like when he inches away to whisper. “Stick out your tongue for me.” And you do, sliding your pink tongue between his lips and looking into his eyes, the sight making him shiver. (It made me shiver too.)

“Fuck, I can’t believe I’m married to the most beautiful woman on the whole fucking planet.” He continues to lean into you, biting your bottom lip.

Bradley, who had his hand on your neck to steady you, stuck his tongue out and licked yours, laughing when he felt your saliva in his mouth. He took it between his lips and pulled it slightly to spit it into your mouth.

Damn, you hadn’t thought you’d been this turned on in a long time, and he looked into your eyes before swallowing, moaning at the eroticism of the action.

“Good girl, let me do whatever I want with your mouth, maybe I should fuck your throat to finish the show, mhm?” Bradley mumbled, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear.

He grinned as you listened to him, spreading your legs and propping your feet up on the mattress, exposing yourself to him, despite the fact that your hole wasn’t tightening around anything.

“Are you going to fuck me or are you still going to think you’re Christian Grey?” He laughs too, and his insides heat up with joy knowing that you both can go from perverted to stupid in a second.

“Shut up.”

He grabs you by the waist to lift you up, throwing you towards the middle of the bed so he has space to position himself above you, and when he does, he starts kissing your collarbone, biting and sucking on your skin.

You sigh and feel his skin tingle with the kisses, tugging at the hair at the back of his neck, making him growl, and you slide your hands up to the hem of Bradley’s shirt, pulling it up.

He gets the message and pulls away to remove the shirt, revealing his bare sun tanned chest, and your hands are instantly all over him.

You admire him from below, gently dragging your nails down his chest, playing with his little dog chains, running your fingers down to his muscles and happy mark and those damn, hot laurels.

You couldn’t understand how you had the perfect man all by yourself, and you never would.

His eyes burned with the emotion that washed over you like a wave, the knowledge that he was as deeply and madly in love with you as you were, and you wouldn’t have gotten married without it.

Your gaze met his dark brown gaze as he slid his palms under the fabric of your shirt, reaching for your tits and cupping them with a familiarity that pulled you closer to him, lifting your hips to press against his bulge as he squeezed you by your titts.

“Are you ready,baby?” he asked, wrinkling his nose and taking a deep breath, a gesture that stuck with you after all these years.

You arched your back, causing Bradley’s hands to press into you even harder. “Just fuck me, please.” Your voice was shaky, and you could see the stupid, cocky grin forming on his face.

It’s been maybe ten minutes since they both moved the subject to the bedroom, but the wetness that has gathered in your panties is making you even more nervous, as is your clit that continues to throb at the sight of your half-naked hot husband. .

Bradley just stares at you with a serious look on his face, but there’s a spark of lust in his eyes, and he lifts his hands from where they were supposed to rest on your knees, bringing them up.

He leaves his left hand there, but the other goes straight to your panties, running his index finger up and down the fabric, making you close your eyes and take a nervous breath.

“You’re so wet, you’ve ruined your panties,” he says, smiling wryly. "You're so desperate for me to fuck you, aren't you?

The questions he shouted in his thick and husky voice only made you hornier, and you knew your wetness was probably on the sheets right now, but you couldn't care less.

"Yes, please." Your eyes were open now, and Bradley felt himself shifting in his pants when he saw the desperation and need in your eyes.

His arms pull you closer so you can kiss him, and you let him do whatever he wants, bite and suck and leave those sweet little kisses that make your eyes squeeze tightly because he's so crazy about you.

His girl. His wife. His soul. His everything.

Your hands are messing with Bradley’s hair even more, trying to get his pants off and pressing your body against his, both of you moaning as you both rub against the thin clothing, he is rushing to lick and mark your breasts, making sure to give you some extra kisses and bites on the heart tattoo from when both first got together.

“These breasts…” he says, sticking his tongue out to lick your nipple. “They’ll be filled with milk for my baby soon.”

Your mouth opens at the stimulation from Bradleys thrusts into your clothed hole, and a longing fills you as you remember the first time you did this. And now you were about to have a baby.

Or at least you were trying to.

He was licking your breasts and then blowing some air on them, making you shiver. You put your hands behind his ears, forcing him to look into your eyes, and in a voice choked with need;

“Roo, fuck me so we can have a baby.” you said.

Your cracked, trembling voice makes him search your face for any tears, but it’s the arousal that makes you so.

You need him and you can’t keep playing these games, not when you think you’re going to cum at any moment because of him and his entire being.

Bradley quickly throws off the rest of his clothes and you’re both naked, pressed together as he kisses the weak spot on your jaw that makes your eyes go black. One of his hands resists his weight so he doesn’t crush you, the other cups your breasts, moaning at the relaxing contact on the sensitive shaft.

His tip brushes against the warmth of your folds and you moan in unison, admiring him with narrowed eyes, your head tilted back, your hair disheveled, your eyes closed and your mouth open with a trickle of drool escaping the corner. From yout mouth.

For Bradley Rooster Bradshaw, seeing you fucked this hard was a work of art, if only for his eyes.

He presses the dripping tip against your clit, making himself make a noise in the back of his throat, and leaves kisses behind your ear, murmuring words of love as he slowly pushes inside.

You both remain still as your wetness greets him like it always does, he thinks he’s about to cum and you do, knowing that with just one lean and one thrust you’ll hit his soft spot.

You hug him back and let your head fall onto his shoulder.

“How come you’re still so tight every time,hmm baby?”

You laugh, tightening around him and he braces himself for the first thrust, grunting when he looks down and sees his member emerge, covered in all your wetness.

“Fuck, Roo.” Your breaths match his deep thrusts and you lift your hips halfway to meet his.

His pelvic bone hits your clit perfectly, making Bradley moan and lose himself as his thrusts become more erratic, his chest pushing away from yours so that he grabs your hips with both hands, holding you in place.

You don’t know what to do with his hands, he squeezes the skin of your stomach as you continue to moan from the way his tip brushes that weak spot, you don’t know how he manages to fuck you properly every time, but he does, he fucks you.

He watches you from above as his hips continue to thrust wildly, but your mind is filled with love, your eyes closed, your hair at the pillow and your body at his mercy, he was your dream, his only dream.

“Fuck, look at you.” He’s out of breath, unable to take his eyes off you. “I can’t wait to fill you up, and when I’m done, I’m going to do it over and over again until the house is full of our babies.”

“Brad.” You moan, your mind clouded by the image, and you feel your orgasm coming closer.

“Yes, you want it, don’t you?” He asks, licking his thumb between your bodies and pressing it against your clit, increasing the volume of your moans.

“Walking around full of babies. Full of my seed,huh baby?”

You can’t believe your ears, as Bradley hasn’t heard it as loud as he does now, and you feel your climax through your fingertips with every thrust, word, and caress your husband gives you.

You look at each other, and your bright gaze contrasts with his dark one.

“Please, make it drip from me.” You babble, leaning your weight on one arm, pressing your foreheads together so you can get closer to him. “I want to make you a daddy.”

Bradley feels himself about to cum at your words, and despite the burning in his muscles, he continues.

"Is that so? and you're gonna be a mother, the best, the hottest, fuck, my love-"

You place your hand on the back of his neck and kiss him, messy from his movements and the desire for release you both have.

You pull away to murmur against his lips.

"I love you no matter what."

He cums inside you in long white ribbons that paint your walls, and the stimulation in your clit makes you cry out his name, tensing all your muscles, squeezing your eyes shut and opening your mouth in a silent scream.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Bradley murmurs, leaving kisses across your open mouth, your cheeks, and all over your face.

You both collapse onto the bed and stay silent for a few minutes, catching your breath and you snuggle under the covers, knowing that you won’t be making the bed later, thanks to him not having the strength to make the bed.

Bradley slides his now soft member out of you, you are hissing at the sensation and seeing how his cum wants to drip from your hole, so he forces it back with three fingers, feeling himself shift and almost harden again. He pulls them out, quickly wiping them off with his mouth, so he can pick up his shirt from the floor and carefully clean his wife.

You wait for him to take the shirt between your legs and throw it away before looking into his eyes, and you grab his hands, making him smile and roll his eyes, you grab his arms and pull him down onto your chest.

"We're trying to have a baby here while you're still acting like a baby." You joke, but he pinches your nipple. "Ouch!"

"You think it worked?" Your hopeful voice makes him smile, and you both look at each other, satisfied with what happened.

"Of course." He replies, playing with your hair, a little sweaty from the exercise. "The next test will be positive, I believe."

THEY GOT A PUPPY🥹🥹 AND maybe more😏😏

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3416 · 1 year

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1634 primer (2015-2023)

since my brain refuses to let me think about anything BUT the toronto maple leafs these days, i've decided to compile info/links/photos/videos of the dynamic on the team i personally find most compelling, charming, heartwarming, hilarious: mitch marner and auston matthews (aka 1634 aka the heart and soul of this current leafs team in my humble opinion). this will cover the beginning of their nhl careers to the end of the 22-23 season. for anything from 2023 summer onwards, here’s part 2.

i will be citing my sources, but if any info needs corrected or there are things i've missed, don't be afraid to hmu. i've only been around for a couple months so 🫡 😘 ✌️ this is going to be long-winded (almost 4k kinds of long-winded...) let's DO IT:

2015-2017 (rookie era)

in june 2015, mitch marner is drafted to his hometown team, going 1st round 4th overall in more beginnings of an effort to rebuild the leafs franchise. here are photos from that day. here's an athletic article about why they picked him that makes me cry.

in april 2016, auston matthews is drafted 1st overall and is basically deemed the savior of the toronto maple leafs from the jump. here are pics from that. (please look at the one below of auston putting on a 16 leaf jersey on draft day and tell me that wasn't fate of SOME sort... i know it's the year but. THE VIBES. the what's-to-come of it all) (here’s a sportsnet documentary on auston/his journey to the nhl).

they played against each other at the 2016 world juniors (dec 2015-jan 2016). here they are on the cover of world hockey news before they had even met... as boys to watch in the hockey world

according to mitch, the first time they actually met was when he said hi to auston in an elevator at world juniors. then mitch says the night auston was drafted, he was at a concert and everyone started an auston matthews chant that he was 100000% in on and excited about. and it was pretty early on in development days that they became instant friends. here's the vid @ ~4:21 and here's a gifset

during their very first day of training camp, auston broke a pane of glass off of a pass from mitch when they were just messing around (again.... fate). here's the vid and here's an article about it

here's them fighting each other for the puck at camp... there's something about it that makes me emotional... their tenacity as rookies...

one of the first ever hangouts recorded on social media... they went to a fair or smth august 2016 (gifs)

at first, they didn't play together very much. in fact, through a lot of the coach mike babcock era (2015-2019), they weren't linemates at all, as auston usually had willy on his right wing. (here's an article justifying that decision from babcock)

that didn't stop them from developing a lot of habits and routines together though. this whole half of a morning skate interview with mitch... "hopefully we're together for a long time and can build up some great chemistry" "that's a big part of what me and matts try to do when we drive together, just keeping it light and have fun with each other" (gifs... it kills me)

"Not only are Matthews and Mitch Marner clicking on their respective forward lines, they are having a good time in the car driving to and from practice and games."

they used to come into the the arena in the same ways on game days (watch any leafs blueprint ep from this time... they’re always getting off the bus together or walking into scotiabank together attached at the hip), went out of their way to greet the doormen and staff, sometimes showed up in matching outfits as evidenced here, here, here, and honestly.. so many more times. it’s about the coordination... the texting each other their fits.

the famous copycat hat moment (gifs).... their goofy responses and getting chirped on twitter about it by everyone and stamkos) (auston’s smile)

they started making sure they were coming out onto the ice together for warmups, always in line toward the back (still the same to this very day). here (x, x, x, x) are just a couple shots of that... they have a handshake they do on their way out (still to this day also), and i think this is the one of the first times it was recorded.

and on the rare occasion they DID get to play together... they were always the Most™ excited and cute about it. here's them talking about playing on the same line, here and here and here are some first moments of cellying that deserve to be looked at for 10000 years... just pure excitement and joy

here's mitch hopping right on into a ridiculous fight on auston's behalf. and here are their responses about it in the media afterward (cute, loyal, grateful).. and here’s auston pissed about an uncalled shove on mitch ... even though they’re not big fighters, they ARE big defenders of one another

2016 centennial classic where they were so cute (x x x x x)

there are lots of practice photos/vids and media of them around or mentioning each other obviously (like this hug at a scrimmage that kills me personally), but anther one of my favorite standout days was this practice when auston had mitch falling on the ground in laughter. gifs: "I think a lot of people don’t understand how big of a jokester he is at times. He’s always pretty serious, but that’s not his kind of personality at all" (pics)

so many bench shenanigans (literally too many to try to round up)

(what i assume is) a broadcast quote i can't seem to track down but so many ppl have used it for edits and gifs that i believe it: “They love him, clearly Auston Matthews loves him.” ... they're always saying the most ridiculous things about them as a pair

case in point.. they also said this: "Matthews and Marner together - their eyes light up […] They've been dying to play together." (basically confirmation vid here from auston.. his hopeful little smile, help)

one of the most iconic moments has to be the time the camera caught them singing 'livin' on a prayer' together on the bench and it became a whole thing in the media. here's the moment, their responses (gifs, gifs), and bon jovi's response too.

they used to play video games as a unit and basically annoy the shit out of everyone. thanks zach hyman for the confirmation: “They have this whole strategy, whenever we play. Auston sits in the back and snipes, and Mitch runs around and looks for you. They have this whole little strategy they put together. And then they laugh. They start dying laughing. They’re clowns.”

they have so many oddball social media interactions and a lot of them are probably lost to time but: here's a meme of mitch being part of both of their twitter profiles, here's some petulant mitch getting clowned on and compared to mickey mouse, here's more auston making fun of him for looking 12, “can’t be a boys week when your gfs are there...... but u look nice :)”, purp.... the joint ootd.. who was doing it like them?, “getty images”, “walking advertisement”

holding bozak’s baby together at the xmas party (gifs)

golfing, hanging out at the mall, shopping

despite their very complimentary talk of each other in media, they're also not afraid to razz each other. "he gets sensitive sometimes", "just kind of get him grinding", auston chirping mitch and the insurance ads he does, mitch making fun of his hair (pre balding era... wonder if that’s off limits now LOL)

here’s a vid of the 2016 leaf rookies at a christmas market... mitch and auston were very cute... mitch uploaded a story of them on the ferris wheel smiling their asses off too

auston recording him on his ig story here and here while they were filming this batting practice vid

here’s a goalie challenge video mitch and auston did with matt martin and barstool back in the day (”don’t take slapshots” “you took seven”)

here are some misc gifsets from this time period: x x x x x x

i'll end this section with a couple of my favorite and the most iconic game pictures from this era...

if you're curious about more stuff from the rookie days, i highly recommend checking out this initial 1634 primer from @/zoehickel, @/thiccbrock's soft bros tag, and @/mitchski's auston x mitch tag (pro tip: add "/chrono" at the end if you want to see everything chronologically).

2018-2020 (not-so-rookie era)

nothing extremely important or concrete separates this timeline but mitch and auston clearly started to grow into their roles on the team and were no longer just rookies (altho i compiled some very basic stats from wikipedia and both of them have just been crazy talented and at the top of team goals/assists/stats almost every year since they were drafted.. they’ve never really been ‘just rookies’ but )

from what i gather, early 2018 was one of the first sightings of mitch's drawings on his gloves... a habit that auston had also been into since his rookie year... mitch started doing this toward the tail end of the hardass babcock days as a reminder that hockey is supposed to be about having fun (here's a not-official-seeming article about their clashes w babcock) (here are some pics of the doodled gloves of that era)

here’s an article talking about how much mitch and auston loved playing together and tried to take advantage of it and prove to babcock they should be allowed more often (also includes goofy bts content of them sharing a fantasy football team)

babcock got fired bc of nasty coaching tactics (here’s a story on what he did to mitch as a rookie), and in came sheldon keefe, who is more mild-mannered and is willing to experiment with auston and mitch playing together so they got more time as linemates these years.

auston and mitch developed a warmup routine together before games where they stayed on the ice a bit longer than everyone else and passed the puck back and forth (here are some vids from this time period: x x x x x)

the team did a big nhl video game faceoff early 2018, and mitch was auston's #1 hype man about it: gasin him up, helping him warm up, sittin behind him making commentary, and acting like it was his own personal victory when auston won

instagram teasing for mitch’s 22nd bday... “babe !”

they participated in this ‘need for speed’ challenge video with natalie spooner and laura stacey to promote the canadian women’s hockey league... competitive dorks is all i have to say about that.

at the end of 2018, mitch and auston took part in a real production of the nutcracker as cannon dolls... and it is as absurd and amusing as it sounds. famous quotes from the event include: “he couldn’t let go of me”, “that’s what friends are for”, “mitch could just sit around and pout the whole time which he’s so used to doing”... here's the vid (gifs) (pics w ballerina) (more goofy pics) (ig story)

some cute practice pics

in 2019, apple had them film a commercial where auston just followed mitch around titled Mitch Marner Shot on iPhone by Auston Matthews... (gifs) (tumblr vid) (more gifs) just any excuse to talk about it forever... it's arguably one of the greatest things they've ever done... pov of dreams tbh. here's another snippet that didn’t make the cut of them laughing... here’s some gifs of ANOTHER snippet.. and here’s an article about auston with some quotes about how he and mitch are great friends and they were just going to “their” favorite places in toronto that day. (also THEIR favorite restaurant being sotto... the exact place mitch/steph go on very special dates apparently according to this pandemic leaf to leaf... food for thought)

another thing about auston and mitch... they WILL be forming unbreakable bonds with people on the team like it's a group activity, and the most formative for them was probably patrick marleau, who basically became their dad for the 2017-2019 seasons. they would always hang out on the road together, watch movies and go to dinner, etc etc. one time mitch n patty when on vaca without auston... ymca in the car with patty and his sons... “he’s obviously old but he acts even younger than me and mitch”... mitch and auston singing happy birthday to him... here’s a christmas party pic of them that kills me... that here's a video where they talk about their relationship... here's another long interview they did together during lockdown... here is an emotional gifset about the three of them, and below are pictures of the family unit (and one rather... interesting... see: the 3rd pic) (here are pics from 2023 when the marleaus came to a leafs game)

morgan rielly on mitch and auston: “[they] are like best friends. they’re different personalities... when you watch the dynamic with the two of them, whether it’s on the road or on a practice day, it’s pretty funny. it changes every year. it’s a unique dynamic for sure.” and him on mitch/auston/patty also

here’s mitch and auston honoring patty with an appearance from the truly wild jumbo

another case of the trio vibes would be freddie andersen, who was on the team 2016-2021. he was basically besties with auston and they spent lockdown together later, but during the 2020 all star game, all three of them attended and freddie, dedicated his goalie helmet to his best friendship w them. "you look cute?" "yeah, i look cute." ..... also here’s some pre-game high five rituals with the three

more all star content: failed attempted at a heart, the blueprint ep (gifs)

the style/clothes content continues... auston was featured in gq mag and here's mitch's giggly reaction to it. "he's a big style guy and i respect it" (gifs)

auston attended a marner assist foundation event in 2018 to support mitch's charity work (some sm pics from here and here)... also went to the marner assist invitational and got dragged for his tape job (here’s a selfie w them)

here’s some intense cellys from this era: like hello? .. SWEET PEAS... this bench moment....... whatever this was

“Marner and Matthews entered the NHL together in 2016-17 and remain good friends and road roommates now. Marner sounded genuinely enthused about his buddy’s new contract, and sent him a text once word broke Tuesday joking that they’re going to have to figure out where to be neighbours once they enter a higher tax bracket next season.” fellas.... is it gay to plan your future in the suburbs of toronto together

here they are dancing at naz kadri’s wedding ... hand check

which teammate does auston matthews like to watch the most? the answer won’t surprise you!

mitch was planning to stream and play nhl with this random streamer during lockdown and auston literally asked to join and hang... “matts, i’ll talk to you.. in like an hour probably” aka mitch is a constant texter/talker (ALSO here is a twitter thread recounting to the experience since the streams gone forever... rip 2020-2021 mitch the streamer)

here are some of my favorite pictures from this time period:

2021-present (superstar era)

they're both alternate captains, very clearly leaders of this team, and basically recognized as superstars in the league too with continued individual success. they're the last ones out on the ice at warmup still, the first ones to cheer for their teammates milestones, the last ones to give the goalies big hugs after wins. they still don’t always play together 100% of the time, but they individually enhance the players around them and have played career high years when they’re at each other’s sides.

confirmation of their warmup rituals and the fact that it's something they've been doing together, to feel good about themselves, since the very beginning ........ the same as back then .... here’s very recent vid

still doing their little handshake too, with the added bonus of a behind-the-back one too sometimes (mitch does the handshake line for the whole team by this point)

"it really seems like we're not cellying really by ourselves. we're constantly going in to hug each other. i think that just shows the amount of joy and happiness we have going for each other right now."

mitch basically assisted on a large percentage of auston's goals these past few record breaking years that they've been allowed to play together. here's a video after the 21-22 season where mitch talks about how thankful and generous auston has been.

here is a tumblr compilation about their chemistry after they've gotten to play significant stretches as linemates (literally part of the most offensively dangerous line in the 21-22 regular season).

“have you ever had this kind of chemistry with another teammate before in your life?” “no, not really”

they're so silly... so much goofy inconsequential content is out there but: mitch fighting the post that hurt matthews at practice.

here’s mitch checking on auston after he took a puck in the knee at practice

forgotten 2021 christmas vid i can’t track down but. matching mugs and whipped cream mustaches. also just look at them in THIS...

the fashion saga continues.. where here they anecdotally have the same spikey high top/low top shoes (they also have lots of random matching sneakers but i’m not knowledgeable enough to compile those)

this media day fashion trend video... where do you even start with this. “you better put some earrings in here for auston” like auston is the center of his fashion conscience. “i won’t wear one of those.. i don’t think... maybe.. we’ll see” you know DAMn well if auston recommended--- “matts has got those- he’s got a big frame”

they both wear chains with their numbers on them (recent fit pics of auston here and mitch here), and though they’re not exactly matching but the coordination, the knowing they talk about fashion and accessories... them having these chains dates back to 2018 btw

their mutual social media hype for each other's accomplishments never gets old: mitch breaking game point streak in 2022... random overtime winner in 2022... auston hitting 50 goals in 21-22 season... "@austonmatthews what an achievement. proud to be a part of this journey with you"... "congrats to my brother @austonmatthews on his historic night"... “couldn’t have done it without my boys”.... they were so extra just bc of a pic of them hugging... like sure ! ... “my fucking guy is a beast” YOUR guy?? .... mitch basically campaigning for individual awards for auston every time he scored a goal ... “well deserved my dog” “lets go baby” when he finally won them... “new range got that dawg in it”

“[auston’s] always very thankful. he’s done a couple really big thank yous for me already and given me a couple things that i’m just gonna keep between us two... he’s a great guy and obviously deserves what he got.”

in the same way they grow attached to people as a pair, michael bunting joined the team and auston and mitch's top line in 2021 and a best friendship blossomed between the trio.

they went to auston's home in arizona over the 2022 summer to "build chemistry", play golf, play tennis, and just generally hang out

they also potentially celebrated auston’s birthday there because here’s a photo of them at auston’s house with his fav chef and here’s auston with his bday cake in the same outfit ...... best friends

went to a jays game together right at the beginning of the season, this image..... a video of them chatting :’)

here is bunting talking about what it's like to get to know them

iconic bench moment between the three of them... another cutesy one

the 2022 heritage classic costumes/entry together like usual, plus the new trio, plus practice pic

their 2022-2023 gloves where they are still drawing cute little doodles of hearts and dog initials and smileys to remind themselves to have fun

"i think the sky's the limit for [mitch]. i think he's just unbelievable. i love playing with him. i think after he came back, he was probably the best player in the world for the rest of the year. he's incredible to be out there with and watch."

commentators weighing in on their joint legacy and saying “they’re magic out there together. they are what they are because of each other”

here are some more quotes about their impact on the franchise and the way their names are basically cemented in history... the modern day odd couple, they say

for auston’s birthday in sep 2022, mitch commissioned a drawing of auston and his dog felix as a gift

speaking of their dogs..... this goofy insta story

auston feeding mitch a golf club at a charity event? or are they using it as a mic... who can dissect their weird antics

the blueprint episode about mitch has some cute bg stuff of them (gifs), as well as one of my fave little head bonks here

some cellys/bench moments these years too bc they don’t stop: big squeeze... he just lauched himself... i just love them... arms wide open... mitch is a cartoon character... what in the hell is THIS... iconic moment ... 22-23 season cellys so far.... this riveting convo

“all of this doesn‘t really happen without him.” okay another unverifiable quote but like. look at those images and tell me it’s not something he’d say... you can‘t

auston asked about mitch trade rumors: "Mitch is an unbelievable player, he's an unbelievable teammate. In this room, everybody loves Mitch; everybody loves everybody. We really have a tight bond. All the noise coming from the outside, you guys have fun with that."

i’m getting derailed here bc half of these moments are not that significant but i fucking love these pics of yappy auston... like of course he’s talkin to mitch

plenty of ribbing is still going on.... or at least attempts: “those are loud flip flops”... though we have transitioned into blatant confirmation that auston can and will be bossed around by mitch when he says stuff like “mitch will assault me if i don’t pick him [to bring with me to a desert island], but i’d like to have him there too”

team bonding at a lake house but you only tag mitch? that vs the history of mitch complaining about not being included...

the importance of the content we received on the 2021 media day cannot be overstated. here’s 5 questions with auston and mitch, yearbook superlatives, career day (images: x x x), and then 2022′s who’s more likely? (all must-sees, i promise... even confirm themselves as the best bromance... if i spent too long on any single revelations this post would be 500k words more)

also the 2021 leafs call out video and the 2022 leafs call out video absolutely showcase how annoyingly endearing they are about each other... whether they’re trying to harp on one another or give genuine compliments... amazing that a dynamic can be captured so clearly when they’re not even in the room at the same time

“mitchelly marner, i’m grateful for my guy” (gifs) (the new nickname... the incessant use of my guy... mental breakdown inducing)

in november 2022, mitch tied a franchise point streak record (with a very valiant effort from the whole team to get him an empty net goal in the final 2 minutes, i might add) and auston was the first one to scoop him up in celebration and then (where he’s normally :| in media these days) was very :D and proud about it and him afterwards. “i’m so happy he got it” (mitch went on to set the new record at 23 games)

and as for extremely recent, both auston and mitch hit their 500 career points mark within a week of each other (1/3/23 and 1/7/23). here are screencaps, gifs of mitch getting to hit 500 with auston on the ice.. then auston collected the puck and pretending to throw it over the glass and prompting the broadcasters to say: “they’ve celebrated so many milestones together”

here are some teammates and coaches talking about their chemistry together and the fact that they push each other to be better players and enjoy it (tumblr vid)

there’s them being hype about the fact that they were SUPPOSED to go the 2023 all star game together on instagram (auston didn’t end up going bc of injury)

here’s a 2023 athletic article about how different they are in personality but how clear their leadership and friendship is (the athletic... tumblr)

mike johnson went on a podcast pre 22-23 playoffs and said “they like playing here, they like playing with each other, they care about each other, they want to have sex– success together” .... the freudian slip

toward the end of the 22-23 season, mitch was nearing 100 points (never made it) BUT they kept showing this graphic about how mitch has assisted on 99 of auston’s career 299 goals up to that game (ALL DESPITE THEM NOT PLAYING REGULARLY TOGETHER TIL A COUPLE YRS IN)

mitch being asked if he prefers to drive his own line or play with auston... he says it’s always fun and special to play with auston bc of their chemistry and the way they're not afraid to “give it to each other” about where they need to improve. “that’s the kind of friendship and teammate you want. that’s something we’ve built a bond over” (vid) (gifs)

mitch marner got married on july 29th 2023, and auston came back to canada (after skipping OTHER weddings like his “favorite teammate” alex kerfoot and ex teammate tyson barrie) to be in attendance :’) here’s a video of him watching mitch n steph dance there way into the reception, here’s a picture nazem kadri generously posted, here’s a pic of him with mitch and willy, here’s gifs of mitch and auston singing shirtless at the reception, and most 👀 of them all... here’s a pic of auston watching mitch and steph’s first dance. ..

here are some of my favorite more current pics of them

i also gif or post pretty much every 1634 moment from current leafs content/games, so you can check out my hockeyedit tag for some goofy bench or ice shenanigans that didn't make the cut. or my 1634 tag in general.

TL;DR

mitch marner and auston matthews were basically drafted to the maple leafs to be two of the faces of the franchise, and they share a similar burden in that with the leafs lack of playoff success thus far being leaders on the team. they’ve accomplished so many records at an individual level in tandem because of their talents and their chemistry on the ice, and they play their best and happiest hockey when they’re allowed to play together. despite different backgrounds and personalities, they’ve developed an extremely charming relationship off the ice, one built from years and years of intense mutual support, playful teasing, and a shared vision for the team. they seem to be so much more outwardly excited for each other’s successes; it becomes so easy to root for them...... regardless of what the future holds for the current maple leafs team, the two of them have done enough to have their names in the hockey history books, and we are all so lucky that there’s much more ahead of them and that we get to WATCH.

if a single person made it this far, i love you, lol. i personally will never be getting over them and am always looking for more content or unseen stuff so lmk if i missed something crucial. edit (6/18/23): if you’re looking for more pictures of them, i have removed watermarks of 95% of their images together on getty and organized them by tags on this blog @1634archive if you’d like to peruse!

hopefully some people get some sort of joy out of this like i have in compiling it all!! cheers to much much more 1634 in the future too. ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

last updated: 9/12/23

#toronto maple leafs #leafs #1634 #mitch marner #auston matthews #hockeycomp #iidk what to call this KLFJSDKL #1634 PRIMER #AnYWAY.. SInCE THE LEAFS LOST ABYSMALLY ... LETS GO #Eplease SOMEOn EnJOY THIS. i beg.#also im officially using this to summon a 583416 return #hockey

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jgroffdaily · 10 days

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Interview by Jake Nevis, photos by Jenny Anderson - excerpts:

For Groff in particular, who’s earned a Tony Award nomination for his swaggering turn as the prodigious composer Franklin Shepard, the experience of starring in Merrily We Roll Along is provoking a tender sort of reappraisal of the wide-eyed, closeted 20-something who arrived on Broadway two decades ago in Spring Awakening, tending his own dreams. “There’s so many powerful parallels and I’m feeling the opportunity to release a lot of the tension I was holding at that time,” he told me earlier this month over coffee in Greenwich Village (just before showing face at a Tony’s luncheon). “This character feels like an exorcism of the lightest and darkest parts of myself.” With easy candor—and a charm not dissimilar to the kind he demonstrates in the role—Groff opened up about learning to live without shame and what Looking, the polarizing HBO series he starred in from 2014 to 2016, taught him about show business.

JAKE NEVINS: Hey, Jonathan. Congrats on your Tony nomination.

JONATHON GROFF: Thank you so much.

NEVINS: That’s exciting. How do you feel?

GROFF: Oh my god, I feel super emotional. I’ve been crying a lot these days. Last time I was nominated was during Hamilton, which was like seven or eight years ago. And I wasn’t in the show when the nominations happened. I had left to do a TV show. So this is the first time since Spring Awakening that I’ve experienced the intensity of awards season on Broadway while being in the show. I’m having a lot of flashbacks to being 22 years old.

NEVINS: What were your first encounters with Merrily in particular?

GROFF: Gideon Glick, who was in Spring Awakening with me, sent a text to the Spring Awakening text chain saying, “This documentary came out called The Best Worst Thing That Ever Could Have Happened. And it’s devastating and beautiful, and it reminded me so much of us. You all have to go see it.” So I watched the documentary about Merrily that Lonny Price made and was blown away by it. At the Hollywood Bowl, I had done Sondheim on Sondheim, where I sang the role of Frank in “Opening Doors” and Jesse Tyler Ferguson did “Franklin Shepard, Inc.,” so I knew the songs from there. Funny enough, we had just finished our Spring Awakening reunion concert, which was in the fall of 2021, and we were making a documentary about the concert and about the show. The Merrily doc was a big inspiration for that because of how they went back and forth and showed them as kids and showed them as adults. And then in January 2022, me and Jim Carnahan, who cast me in Spring Awakening 16 years before, were in a film club during COVID. After we saw 8½ at the Film Forum in January 2022, he said to me, “We’re going to come to you with an offer for Frank in Merrily We Roll Along. Do you know the show?” And I was like, “I know pieces of it, but I don’t know the show.” Maria’s production in London was on YouTube, so I watched it and I died for it. I just thought it was fucking genius, never having seen it and obviously knowing from the documentary that the show was originally a flop. So it took six months between January and June 2022 for us to figure out the dates. Dan [Radcliffe] was already attached to play Charley, and then Lindsay [Mendez] came on, and then we were off and running.

[Jonathan on reactions to Looking] And I was like, “Whoa.” That was when I started to learn the art of walking with an open heart and also protecting myself.

NEVINS: What does that look like?

GROFF: It’s like, having empathy and respect for the haters and honoring them and understanding that that opinion can exist and I can still be in my lane and express myself. Just because someone says it’s terrible doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth making.

NEVINS: Well, I’ll leave you with this. What’s the status of your inner voice? By all accounts, you’re living your dream, but I don’t want to draw any conclusions.

GROFF: This feels like it’s been a rebirth, a bit of a renaissance, and a release. It’s like I’m re-experiencing what I experienced when I was 22 with Spring Awakening, but now as a flashback, which is what Merrily is about. I moved to New York in 2004, 20 years ago. This show takes place over the course of 20 years. It’s about three friends. Spring Awakening was about these three characters. There’s so many powerful parallels and I’m feeling the opportunity to release a lot of the tension I was holding at that time. It feels like this opportunity to tap back into that 20-year-old I was and release all of the baggage from that time. I’m feeling more like myself than I ever have. This character feels like an exorcism of the lightest and darkest parts of myself.

NEVINS: An exorcism that ends with a Tony, hopefully

GROFF: Oh my god.

#jonathan groff #interview #merrily we roll along #interview magazine #spring awakening #Gavin Creel

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allenvooreef · 22 days

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Heads up, this gorgeous documentary can be viewed online for a limited period of time! I just did, and can heartily recommend it to anyone, especially if you also have a history with dieting.

Watch it here before June 18 2024!

#eef talks #aubrey gordon is wonderful and her articles are so impactful

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cinnajun · 2 years

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ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: ghosting | njm

summary | na jaemin is your soulmate; having known for about eight months now, you’ve been able to come to terms with the fact that you’re never, ever going to let him know it. (OR, a series of events in which you're forced to face your fate.)

genre | soulmate au. non-idol au.angst & some fluff at the end, y/n kinda destroys jaemin’s week. fear of commitment is strong and y/n has social anxiety. mentions of alcohol. some nsfw implications (conversation) but nothing explicit. quick/unreliable narration.

wc | 7.6k

a/n: the fic that was the inception of this blog! it’s based upon a mini fic i had planned out for beomgyu of txt, but i twisted a bit for this (obviously). i’m not as happy with this as i could be, but i think it’s good enough lol

ft. aespa's karina/winter, itzy's ryujin.

JUNE 21, 14 YEARS AGO. You’re seven years old when you first ask your mom about the little sun on your right wrist, curious about what lies behind the blue, swirled lines. She seemed so amused, at the time, staring at you with such admiration that remembering it made you feel sick.

“When you’re older,” she said, kneeling on the floor to be level with you, “you’re gonna meet someone with a matching mark on their left wrist.”

Gently, she picked your hand up, your palm facing the sky. “Right here.” She pointed at a spot on the corner of your wrist. “Maybe a moon, or a storm cloud, or a planet…whoever has the other half will be clear to you. You’ll recognize it. And that person will be your perfect other half.”

To a seven-year-old, who watched princess movies every day and dreamt of a prince to sweep them off their feet, the mark was dazzling. The thought of someone tailor-made to be your companion was dazzling.

You wish you still thought the same way.

FEBRUARY 18, 3 YEARS AGO, and you’re graduating high school. You spent your days sitting in the library with your friends, inhaling information as if it was more vital to you than water. You hadn’t started trying to cover the mark, then—in fact, you were infatuated with a friend’s relationship with her soulmate, and wanted so desperately to have the same link they did.

The ceremony was long, and you fought off falling asleep for most of it, but you were so proud you had done it. It, as in graduate high school with an impressive university to go to and recognition from your father, who never seemed to care what you were doing.

Then, university seemed like a dream. You remember your mom saying, “Hey, what if you meet your soulmate there?” and you remember the giddiness you felt at even the notion of that. Your life was beginning, now, and it made you feel excited.

That was the first time you’d felt truly excited about something in years. There were no more CSATs, no more disapproving stares when you got less than a 95 on a test, no more endless homework assignments and sleepless nights.

You wished it would’ve turned out like you thought it would in your brain.

SEPTEMBER 01, 3 YEARS AGO, and you’re in a psychiatrist’s office, spiders crawling up and down your throat as you struggle to find comfort. It’s so…artificial, in the way that calming art prints and fake plants line the room, in the way that the couch you sat on felt new and unused, in the way it smelled faintly of mint and lavender.

“It’s something we see a lot in first-year university students,” the doctor explained, obviously trying to reassure you. “I mean, kids like you spend their entire high school experiences with their noses in their books, and then they just don’t know how to handle the real world. With some good therapy and exposure, you’ll be right up to speed, okay?”

Nothing was going how you envisioned it. You had two friends, one of which had practically adopted you after you gave him your homework answers, and one being an acquaintance from middle school. You didn’t go to Itaewon every weekend, you didn’t make out with random strangers, and you didn’t drink until you couldn’t breathe. Instead, you watched space documentaries in your apartment and ordered delivery for dinner every night.

“I’m just going to ask some personal profile questions to grasp what we might deal with, and then I can refer you some to good help, okay?”

You should’ve seen this coming. It had always been one of your mom’s biggest worries after one of your cousins ended up dropping out of university and becoming an embarrassing recluse, even though he’d been ranked first in his high school class.

There was no way you were going to drop out—you knew that well enough—but even so much as edging towards that fate made you feel like a failure. Sure, you were at Seoul National University, and sure, you essentially had a job waiting for you the moment you graduated, but that didn’t mean you were happy. Not at all.

“Have you met your soulmate?”

This question was unexpected. Your eyes shot up from your lap, your facial expression morphing into one of confusion. “Uh, no. Not yet.”

The doctor scribbled something down on his notepad, which confused you even further. “A lot of kids your age freak out when they meet their soulmate and often cut them off completely. If you ever find yourself doing that, consult a professional, okay?”

You wished you’d heeded his advice a bit more.

DECEMBER 21, EIGHT MONTHS AGO. This year would be the first year you celebrated Christmas without your family, but you weren’t too worried; you had three roommates, your closest friends, to spend it with, and Ryujin’s girlfriend.

December 21st is a day you’d like to remember fondly. You spent the majority of the day shopping, with Jimin blowing through a huge bonus she’d received at her job. You laughed and screwed around, making a mess out of the world around you.

“Jeno is streaming again,” Minjeong had said, looking down at her phone. “Looks like he’s with Jaemin and Donghyuck.”

Jeno was one of Minjeong’s close friends in high school, but they’d fallen out with each other during their first year of university. After that, she’d gone off to eight million fashion internships and he’d started a successful streaming career, and they lost all common ground they had.

Sometime in the past year, though, she’d become fixated on rekindling their friendship, claiming that she missed being his friend more than anything in the world. However, you knew better—you knew why Minjeong wanted him back in her life so bad.

“Holy shit, turn it on,” Jimin said, slapping Minjeong’s shoulder. “Quick! Put it on the TV so we can all watch.”

The 10-hour-long fireplace video they’d been watching suddenly transitioned to a Lee Jeno and Lee Donghyuck wrestling each other for the other’s Wii remote, all while Na Jaemin, SNU’s resident heartthrob and student council secretary, sat on a couch with a stupid smile on his face. Minjeong and Jimin were fascinated with him, as were most people—honestly, you included—you met.

The chat rolled down the right corner screen, calling for either Jeno or Donghyuck to win the fight. A few demanded that Jaemin proceed with the game, leading you to assume the monstrosity of the Mii up to bowl was his.

“What do you think? Should I go? Will Jeno sabotage me like he did Hyuck?” Jaemin asked, standing and approaching the camera. Soon enough, his face was essentially the only thing you could see on the camera feed. He seemed to be staring at the chat, which now was filled with people telling him to move so they could see the fight. “Wow, you guys are mean.”

“Just go!” Zhong Chenle’s voice appeared, although he wasn’t on the screen. You were mesmerized by how quickly the viewers accustomed to new environments presented to them; if you were a frequent stream-viewer, you don’t think you could do the same.

“I’ll demo my bowl, okay? Ready?” Jaemin stepped back from the camera, exaggeratedly swinging his arm back and forth. And then, the storm started.

“Pause it!” Jimin shrieked, leaning over to grab the remote. “Pause it! The mark is on his wrist!”

For some reason, a chill ran down your back, and your stomach began to churn. At that moment, you were perplexed—it was incredibly unreasonable for you to think that Na Jaemin was your soulmate. The wrist was the most common place to have your soulmate mark by far, only followed by your shoulder and the base of your neck; the odds of you two matching up were few and far between.

Still, you couldn't shake the nerves. Minjeong was now less than a foot away from the TV, and, from where they paused the stream, it seemed the chat was also freaking out about the mark. One message stood out to you, and it made your blood run cold.

“It’s pink! Na Jaemin has a pink soulmate mark, are you kidding me?”

Suddenly, you were staring at your wrist. A blue swirl accompanied by short, blue lines jutting out of it—a little doodle of the sun—was on the center of your right wrist, opaque and clear. People had always told you that the mark was perfect, including Ryujin, who confessed how jealous she was of you when you’d first met.

“It’s a little doodle of Saturn,” Jimin finally announced, just as the chat had. Suddenly, you couldn’t breathe. This moment was something you’d looked forward to for your whole life, but now that it was finally happening, you felt nauseous.

Looking up, you tried to see around Jimin and Minjeong, who mostly covered the screen. If it was on his right wrist, if he was playing with his right hand, you’d be in the clear.

For a moment, you felt relieved. To you, it looked like it was his right hand, but a few seconds of thinking yielded to you the truth. Your wrist began to tingle.

There was no way. Seriously, there was no way that Na Jaemin—

“You good, [First]?”

The sudden calling of your name made you jump, with your hand flying to cover the mark on your wrist. Ryujin rounded the sofa you sat on, taking refuge next to you. “Oh, yeah, I’m good. Thanks,” you mumbled weakly.

No, you weren’t. That was a lie.

Na Jaemin was your soulmate, and you didn’t want him to be.

JANUARY 29, SIX MONTHS AGO, and Jimin is loudly proclaiming how Minjeong is currently having coffee with Jeno and should be back soon. You both sit at your dining table, along with Ryujin, who seemed to be more entranced in her phone than the conversation.

“If we play our cards right…” Jimin began, though she didn’t finish the sentence. Instead, she started giggling and hitting Ryujin’s shoulder in what seemed to be delight. “Imagine the parties we’ll be invited to and the people who will be at our house! Imagine Huang Renjun on our couch, Ryujinnie!”

“I have a girlfriend,” Ryujin spoke slowly, refusing to drag her eyes away from her phone. “Speaking of, Chaer wants to know if she can borrow those light blue shoes you have, [First].”

Glad the conversation had been derailed, you said, “Of course, I don’t mind at all.” Ryujin nodded slowly, beginning to furiously type what you assumed to be a text to Chaeryeong.

“Okay, back to Jeno and Minjeong. I mean, what if one of them is mine or [First]’s soulmate—” you shuttered, though neither of them noticed— “or something? Zhong Chenle is rich and gorgeous, I’d love to be his soulmate.”

“Aren’t Chenle and you friends?” Ryujin suddenly asked, looking up at you. For a moment, you were confused, but a few memories from your first year came rushing into your head.

“We were for a bit during our first year. After the class we shared ended, we lost touch.” You nodded, twiddling your thumbs. “He was one of my only friends until I met you, Ryujin. Definitely not my soulmate. In the seven months he dragged me everywhere with him, I would’ve found out.”

Jimin gasped, covering her mouth with her hand and staring at you like you’d just killed her mom. “You were friends with Zhong Chenle?”

“Until he was in Lee Jeno’s crowd, yes. I met Ryujin and he met Mark. We stopped talking right around there.”

Before you could process what she was doing, Jimin had reached across your table, snatching the phone up. The action even caused Ryujin to look up from her phone in shock, but she didn’t move to stop Jimin as she made a beeline for the bathroom.

“What the hell?” you exclaimed, getting up to follow after her. You barely took three steps before the bathroom door slammed shut and the sound of the lock clicking into place filled your ears. “Jimin, give me my phone back, please.”

You approached the bathroom door, knocking on it. “Seriously dude. This isn’t funny.”

Jimin was completely silent, to the point where it was debatable whether or not she was even in there. Ryujin had gotten up and was standing a little behind you, staring at the door as well. Quicker than you would’ve imagined, the lock clicked once again, and the door opened slowly.

Jimin stood with her arm stretched out, your phone in hand. There was a smug look on her face that made you feel a bit nervous, reasonably enough, and you didn’t really want to take your phone back.

“What’d you do?” Ryujin asked, snatching the phone up for you. She scanned the screen, frowning the moment she did. “Jimin, come on. You know—”

“They were friends, right?” she asked, shrugging. “Shouldn’t be an issue.”

Tired of not having your phone, you took it back, finally able to look at what you were dealing with.

Jimin had dug up Chenle’s contact, and sent him a simple message: hey, want to meet up?

And, Chenle, being the fast responder he was, had already begun typing.

FEBRUARY 03, SEVEN MONTHS AGO. You sit in Zhong Chenle’s apartment, owned and paid for by his parents, in the center of Seoul. The thing is huge—bigger than your apartment, which is shared by four different people.

As far as you were aware, Chenle was the only person living in the house now, but it was possible his mom and aunt still visited frequently. When you’d been friends, his mom had been pretty adverse to you, so you were glad she wasn’t there anymore.

Chenle had asked you to watch Daegal while he went to go get both of you dinner, which he insisted was “his treat.” He seemed so excited to finally be talking with you again, which just made you feel terrible that Jimin had to force you into going.

When you arrived at his apartment, he’d given you a bone-crushing hug, accompanied by one of the kindest smiles you’d seen in a while. After that, you spent an hour sitting on his couch, getting acquainted with his new dog and talking about all you’d been doing. To no surprise, Chenle was changing the world and trying everything under the sun, while you were sitting alone in dark rooms and staring through telescopes.

Happily, you scratched behind Daegal’s ear, enjoying the attention you were getting from the dog. You wish you would’ve heard the faint sound of the front door unlocking, but the layout of Chenle’s apartment was unreasonable and blocked any noise coming from that far. You wished you would’ve heard footsteps, or been able to hear an unwelcome guest calling out for the owner of the apartment.

“Oh, hello.”

The voice was familiar, it was dangerous. You gasped, head snapping to the side at the sudden surprise. Daegal seemed overjoyed to see the visitor, leaping off the couch and running towards him. Daegal’s distraction gave you just enough time to yank your sleeve down before he fully entered the room.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Na Jaemin asked, bending down to pet the dog. He glanced up at you—Minjeong would be crying if she was you right now—and offered a cordial smile.

“Not at all,” you stuttered, clearing your throat to try to get rid of the violent discomfort you felt. “I was good friends with Chenle during our first year, so we’re just catching up…”

“Oh.” Jaemin seemed to be thinking as he scooped up Daegal and went to sit on the seat across from you. “[First], then? Chenle talks about you a lot.”

For Chenle’s sake, you were just going to ignore that he said that and focus on the issue at hand. He didn’t seem to be acting odd, as if he felt any sort of “connection” like your mom insisted would happen. In fact, he was so nonchalant that, if you weren’t painfully aware of your connection, you might’ve felt calm too.

“That would be me, yes.”

The moment Jaemin sat, Daegal leaped off his lap, sprinting out of the room. You wished, so terribly, that the dog would’ve stayed.

“I’m Na Jaemin,” he introduced himself, though you were sure it was only out of formality. Apparently, all your luck had run out, because Jaemin extended his left arm out, intending for you to shake it. Clearly visible was that little, pink Saturn on his wrist, which he felt absolutely no shame in displaying.

You tried your best to ignore it, keeping your right arm completely obscured and shaking his hand like normal. “It’s nice to meet you, Jaemin. Thanks for all you do for the school, it’s very admirable.”

MARCH 12, SIX MONTHS AGO, and Zhong Chenle is suddenly back in your life. Minjeong has been seeing Jeno frequently, and now, your reclusive, little friend group is suddenly in the spotlight. Jimin gained a good hundred followers on Instagram since people saw her and Lee Donghyuck together, and, all of a sudden, Minjeong and Jimin are the it-girls of the school. Just like how Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin are the it-boys.

It was obvious how much both you and Ryujin detested the sudden attention. To both of you, it felt like your whole life was suddenly on display thanks to your two other roommates. Now, they were interested in throwing parties and drinking until they dropped—which, to be fair, you both didn’t care about the getting drunk and partying part—but you and Ryujin wanted to keep your home quiet and unsuspecting.

“Okay, so, we throw the party. Let our neighbors know, ‘hey, this is happening.’ [First] and I go to Chaeryeong and Chaeyeon’s apartment for the night. Then, two drunk idiots wander into my bedroom and have sex on my bed. A couple others throw up all over [First]’s. What then?” Ryujin asked, taking an angry bite of her tteokbokki. “Party all you want, okay, but you are not going to throw a party here.”

You sat quietly at the edge of the dinner table, watching the three of them go back and forth with no end in sight. You hadn’t offered any sort of input, but you were on Ryujin’s side…you didn’t want your home to get trashed, and you didn’t want noise complaints or police there, either.

“I just don’t see why not. You pay the least amount of rent, Ryujin, so why should you get to choose?” Jimin shot back, crossing her arms.

“And you know who pays the most?” Ryujin asked, her arm jutting out across the table. “[First] pays over half. Ask her.”

You cringed at that. You were thankful for your very, very nicely paying internship, but you rather wouldn’t make a decision that was causing your only friends to argue tooth and nail. Suddenly, all eyes were on you, and you could only trace lines on the table.

“Um, can’t you just…go to a club or something? I’d rather not destroy the house…we rent it, so it’s fees upon fees out of our pockets…”

Minjeong sighed, resting her head on her hands. “[First] has a point. I don’t want that hag to scream at us like she did when we took a chunk out of the wall. Let’s just go to a club. Or we can coerce Jeno into throwing a party. His and Jaemin’s apartment is nice.”

Silence took over. Jimin, obviously upset, stood up and stormed off, leaving the three of you alone. Minjeong seemed to feel some sort of guilt, but she didn’t move to follow Jimin. The house went quiet again, and you wondered if something bad was starting up.

APRIL 14, FIVE MONTHS AGO, and things are starting to go very wrong. Chaeryeong, Ryujin’s girlfriend, met her soulmate, and now they’re trying to figure out if they should break up or not. Ryujin, who doesn’t have a soulmate mark, hadn’t left her room for two days, only taking water bottles and meals you, Jimin, and Minjeong were leaving outside her room.

Now, you were birthday present shopping with Minjeong and Chenle, and Jaemin was supposedly going to show up soon. You sat at a booth in some random restaurant, tucked into the back corner, watching Minjeong bicker with Chenle about whether or not Jaemin would want one of Chenle’s “stupid” (in Minjeong’s terms) friendship bracelets.

You had your left hand practically wired to your wrist, and your stomach felt like it was eating itself. You’d done a fantastic job at avoiding any event Jaemin went to, and none of your friends had noticed it yet. Not even Chenle, who seemed to know just about all of your mannerisms (he’d learned them well back during your first year).

“I think he’s gonna like it,” you decided to input, smiling at Minjeong across the table. She shook her head jokingly, sizing you up at the same time. Chenle laughed to your left, reaching into his pocket and fishing around for a sec.

“You’re in luck, Minjeong, because…” he said, yanking a small, silver chain out of his pocket. “I made one for you too!”

Happily, Chenle slid out of the booth and slid onto Minjeong’s side, grabbing her wrist. She bitterly let him put it on, although it seemed like he was struggling. You smiled as they laughed with one another, happy that your friends were getting along.

“Sorry I’m late—” It was crazy how easily anxiety triumphed over joy— “the pharmacy took a million years. But, I’m here now!”

Jaemin, unaware that Chenle was originally next to you, sat down beside you. His arm pressed against yours, and you swear you felt lightheaded, but you chose to ignore it. Chenle didn’t seem too bothered and decided to stay where he was.

Minjeong seemed to notice your sudden stress, giving you a weird look. You shook your head, smiling weakly, but she didn’t seem to trust you too much. “How are you, [First]? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

You looked to your side, laughing awkwardly. “I’ve been okay. Staying up late and getting up early, all the same routine,” you explained, trying your best not to panic even though he looked into your eyes so intently.

“That’s good, that’s good.”

As Jaemin took his coat off, he once again let his mark show, and you (once again) did your very best to not focus on it.

“And how are you, Minjeong?”

Deeming your short conversation to be over, you turned your head to the side, looking out the window. Clouds bunched up in the sky, maintaining a dark gray color that made you think it was going to start storming soon.

Letting your guard down, you unwrapped your hand from your wrist, simply making sure that your sleeve kept it covered and you didn’t use your right hand much (despite the fact you were right-handed).

“I feel like I don’t know much about you, but everyone always talks about you, [First],” Jaemin suddenly mused. Keeping yourself calm and collected, you turned in his direction, shrugging a bit.

“I’m not the most social person, I guess.”

“I think I’ll ask you a question every time I see you,” he declared, turning his attention to both Chenle and Minjeong. “What’s a good question to ask?”

Both of them seemed caught off guard, looking at each other in slight shock. “Um,” Chenle started, pausing to see if Minjeong would speak. “You could ask about her major?”

Jaemin looked back at you, waiting for your response. Knowing this was something you couldn’t lie about, you swallowed your discontent, ready to accept your new, question-answering fate.

“Astrophysics. With a minor in classical music.”

LATER THAT NIGHT, you and the rest of your roommates sit in the living room, watching one of the ridiculous reality shows Jimin ate up. Ryujin had even come out of her room to partake in the fun, but her eyes were still red, and her face was still cemented into a frown.

It was late into the night now, and Minjeong and Jimin were practically asleep on each other, struggling to stay awake for the remainder of the episode. Given the nature of your internship, you were used to staying up too late, so you weren’t tired at all. It didn’t seem like Ryujin was either, and, if you had to guess, it was because she’d probably slept the day away.

“Why don’t you guys just go to bed?” Ryujin asked, hugging one of the throw pillows to her chest. “You look like you barely know what’s happening.”

“We have to know who gets eliminated,” Minjeong slurred, followed by a huge yawn. “Before we go to bed.”

“Man, I don’t agree,” Jimin huffed, snatching the remote up from the coffee table. She paused the show, exiting back out onto the Netflix home screen. “I’m going to bed. I have an 8 am tomorrow.”

“Come on, Jiminie! This is your thing, isn’t it?”

“I don’t care.” Jimin stood, stretching her arms out and groaning. “Night.”

Minjeong mumbled a string of incoherencies before she stood and trudged behind Jimin, disappearing from the living room. Not ready to go to bed, you leaned forward and grabbed the remote, beginning to scroll through the documentaries Netflix had to offer.

Ryujin seemed a bit uncomfortable, but you didn’t feel the need to inquire. Even when she began staring at you, you just kept scrolling, reading descriptions and skipping over ones that seemed boring.

“I just don’t get it,” Ryujin hesitated, her voice sounding uneven and shaky. You assumed she was going to start talking about Chaeryeong, and how she had more to offer than her soulmate ever did. “Help me understand, [First]. Seriously.”

“Understand what?”

“Why won't you tell him?”

Your whole body froze. Suddenly, the remote felt like a block of iron, and your whole body felt like a brittle table about to break. At that moment, your mind was completely blank. It felt like you were mentally resetting, desperately searching for an answer to give.

Instead of being reasonable, you immediately jumped to defend yourself. “You wouldn’t get it,” you said, returning to scroll through the documentaries. You couldn’t ignore how your heart was pounding, how your chest felt tight, or how you felt like crying now as well.

“No, no, I think I do. Are you going to ruin one of his relationships too? When you decide you feel ready enough to break the news?”

“This is none of your business, Ryujin. Drop it.”

“It is every bit of my business,” she shot back, taking the remote from your hands. You snapped your head towards her, your face twisting into one of bitterness. “You blow off Minjeong and Jimin all the time because of him, even though he is literally your universal match. You spend hours painting foundation on your wrist just for it to be unrecoverable for god knows what reason. You wear long sleeves no matter how hot it is, or you put a bandaid over it. What about Na Jaemin is so bad that you, notoriously lazy, can barely comprehend confessing to him?”

“I’m telling you, you won’t get it, so just drop it. This has nothing to do with what happened between you and Chaeryeong, and it isn’t the least bit similar, because Jaemin will never know it’s me. Okay?”

“One slip up and he’ll see it. He’ll know you’ve been lying, because I’ve been to a few hangouts, and he doesn’t try to cover it at all. He’ll know you’ve known, and he won’t understand why you didn’t tell him, and all you’ll have done was hurt him. How could you do that, [First]? How could you?”

“Do you know what it’s like, Ryujin?” you asked, finally letting loose on your emotions. “To be afraid of the person the world has paired you up with? To think they’d be disappointed in you? Not to mention I’d be widely hated for something I can’t control—for god’s sake, when it got out that Jeno had found his soulmate, somebody sent her a dead bird in the mail. Do you think I want that?”

“Yeah, but Jaemin isn’t an internet celebrity with a bunch of psychopath fans,” Ryujin argued back. “Stop being such a bitch and tell him. Or I will.”

“If you tell him anything, Shin Ryujin, I will kick you out of this house and never speak to you again. Do you hear me?”

Tears began spilling from Ryujin’s eyes now, likely from the residual sorrow of Chaeryeong finding her soulmate. “If you ruin somebody’s life like somebody ruined mine, I will never, ever forgive you.”

“I’m not looking for your forgiveness, Ryujin. I am telling you that my situation is different from yours, so you should keep yourself up and out of it. I’m just not meant for the world’s formula, okay? You are, even if you don’t have a soulmate mark. So is Chaeryeong. You will find happiness, but your happiness does not hinge on my decisions,” you rationalized, sitting back on the couch. Ryujin stood up slowly, pausing for a moment in front of the couch.

“My point still stands. If you don’t tell him, I will. Even if you kick me out and never speak to me again.”

You didn’t take Ryujin’s warning seriously.

APRIL 23, FIVE MONTHS AGO, and you’re hiding. The past hour or so has essentially torn down your entire life as you know it, and now, you’re not sure what to do. So, you hide, as you have since you were a kid, as you have since you walked into the psychiatrist’s office three years ago.

It began fine. Jeno’s birthday dinner was something you and your friends had been looking forward to since the end of March (mostly because Jeno would be paying for the dinner and you’d be simply attending). Chenle had let you tack your name onto his card, as you didn’t know Jeno very well, so you’d seriously paid nothing for this.

By now, you and Ryujin had made up and were sitting next to each other near the end of the table. You didn’t know many people here, so Chenle had been nice enough to sit himself and Renjun across from you both. You were having a good time, save for when you had to avoid the pointing glare of Jeno’s camera (he announced to everyone that his fanbase had been pretty ardently asking for a birthday vlog, and to just move out of frame every time he brought the camera out).

It was a nice dinner, seriously. The food was good and the atmosphere was nice and homey, and Jaemin was all the way across the table from you. It wasn’t stressful for you at all.

You did, however, notice the girl who’d been staring at your table pretty intensely. She and her friends were having hushed conversations, throwing glances at Jeno’s side of the table and pointing ever so often. You pointed it out to Chenle, who brushed it off saying “that’s what usually happens.”

Then she got up. Then her friends pushed her toward the table. Then, she was tapping Jaemin on the shoulder, twiddling her thumbs, and the table had gone silent.

“Um, I think…I think you’re my soulmate?” she said, and your heart dropped. Ryujin tensed up visibly next to you, watching Jaemin jump up from his seat in shock. Jeno had already gotten the camera out, quietly recording the girl showing a little, green Earth on her right wrist.

Jaemin seemed a little shocked, taking her wrist to stare at it. And, as a smile began to form on his face, Ryujin grabbed your wrist and wrenched you both out of your chairs. You looked at her with a face of shock, a face of betrayal, as she began to speak.

“No, you are not,” Ryujin exclaimed. Jeno kept recording, although now he seemed surprised. Minjeong and Jimin stared at you both in shock and half-embarrassment, with Jimin already about to stand and tell Ryujin to shut up.

Meanwhile, the girl looked like a deer in headlights, and her friends had their hands over their mouths. You wanted to run, apologize and say Ryujin was drunk, but you could barely move from your spot. Your hands began to shake, and your breathing began to grow unsteady.

“Excuse me?” Jaemin finally spoke, looking shocked as well.

“[First] is.” Ryujin held up your wrist, yanking your sleeve down to reveal the small, doodled sun on your wrist. Something flashed across Jaemin’s face, likely the recognition your mother had told you about as a child, and that is when you regained yourself.

You wrenched your wrist from Ryujin’s grasp, not waiting another second for anything else to happen. Instead, you yanked your purse from the edge of your seat and nearly ran out of the restaurant, not paying any mind to the calling of your name, or Jimin and Minjeong’s hurt faces.

You were running. Where you were running to, you were unsure, but you were running.

You left your phone on the table.

APRIL 25, FIVE MONTHS AGO, and you’ve been off the grid for two days. Nobody could contact you due to your lack-of-phone, which was nice, yet stressful at the same time. You haven’t gone to any of your classes, but you at least managed to find housing and grab your computer from your apartment. In your panic, you’d shown up at your old friend’s apartment—your old middle school acquaintance—and asked for refuge.

Luckily, he had agreed, pretty quickly in fact. And, being the person who forced you into your first psychiatrist appointment, listened to your predicament and semi-sided with you, which made you relieved.

Minjeong had figured out pretty quickly that you were staying with Sungchan, but she didn’t know his address, and only knew his phone number. He’d answered about three of her calls, telling her to screw off and to let you recover from the panic you felt nearly every second of the day.

“While I agree it was selfish to decide you were never going to tell him,” he would tell you, over dinner or while you grocery shopped, “it wasn’t nice for Ryujin to out your secret before you were ready.”

Sungchan was kind to you, as he always had been, having no issue allowing you to reset and rewind. You could stay for as long as you liked, and you could return to the real world whenever you were ready.

APRIL 26, FIVE MONTHS AGO. Na Jaemin isn’t sure what he’s done wrong, nor does he know how to fix it. Minjeong swears she has it under control, swears she knows where you are and what you’re doing, but Chenle hasn’t looked more stressed in his life, and Jeno said you haven’t shown up to classes since his birthday.

Jaemin was confused. He felt impulsive and angry, angry at you, angry at Ryujin, angry at everyone. He’s spent every waking moment rethinking every one of your interactions, the last moments he saw you, wondering what exactly happened.

He’d talked to all of your friends, but only Ryujin seemed to have a clue. When they talked, she revealed when you’d figured it out, stating that “Minjeong and Jimin were watching one of Jeno’s streams on the TV and paused when your mark was visible, and that’s when she’d realized.”

Not once in his life did Jaemin think his soulmate would reject him. He’s been popular his whole life, and he’s always done his best to put himself out there. He’s been on SNU’s student council since his freshman year, and he’s done copious amounts of volunteer work with Jeno. Did you somehow think he was a bad person? That he’d hurt you?

Whatever was going on, he just didn’t understand it. But, without you around, he couldn’t ask, and, at this point, he didn’t think he was ever going to know.

APRIL 27, FOUR MONTHS AGO, and Jaemin’s just received a text that you’ve come home. It was from Jimin, and it was short—we set an ultimatum and she came back, we are talking it out now, will call you later—but it was enough.

Jeno seemed to believe you were some kind of awful person for what you did, but Jaemin knew you weren’t. Even now, as Jeno listed out all the times you’d met and never said anything, he knew you weren’t.

“We don’t know the whole story,” Jaemin insisted, bouncing his leg up and down. “I mean, would Jimin go through these lengths for anybody? She wouldn’t.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that she lied.”

“She didn’t lie, though.” Jaemin stole a glance at his phone, but the only new notification was one from Amazon, saying his package shipped. “We just don’t know enough, Jeno. We just don’t know.”

Jeno kept quiet after that, picking up his phone and beginning to scroll through god knows what. Jaemin kept staring at his phone, waiting for anything from Jimin, whether it be a “we came to a conclusion” or “things aren’t looking good” text.

APRIL 28, FOUR MONTHS AGO. Jimin sits in front of Jaemin at a café next to his house, and it’s very awkward. Jimin seems to not know what to say as she sits there, twiddling her thumbs and staring at her hands.

“She just wasn’t ready,” Jimin finally spoke, sighing. She seemed to almost deflate in her seat, as if the fact was some big secret. “If you aren’t already aware, she’s not the most…social person, right? And the whole soulmate thing is a big commitment. And, from a social standpoint, you are really, really scary.”

Jaemin frowned, lacing his fingers around his coffee mug. “And then, of course, Ryujin was going through a bad breakup because her girlfriend found her soulmate, and she was upset that [First] had something she didn’t. Right? She just malfunctioned. Think of it as a breakdown, or something, but it freaked her out,” Jimin finished, biting the inside of her cheek. Jaemin pondered for a second, wondering what might be the best course of action.

“So is she going to meet with me, or?”

“She agreed to meet with you next week. That’s about as much as we could drag out of her.”

Just a bit longer, Jaemin thought, before I can figure things out for myself. Before I can fix things.

MAY 03, FOUR MONTHS AGO. You sit at a table in the back corner of a convenience store, slurping up a big vat of instant ramen you’d purchased. At the same time, you feel like throwing up from how nervous you were, but that didn’t matter as much as how good the ramen you were eating.

The past few weeks of your life had been awful. From nearly unfriending Ryujin to Chenle uncomfortably hinting that Lee Jeno, who had over a million subscribers on YouTube and many loyal fans, hated you, everything was completely terrible.

Not to mention the sudden week you’d taken off from your internship or the number of classes you’d missed from the breakdown. If Sungchan hadn’t been taking most of the same classes as you, thanks to your shared major, you might’ve died.

On top of that, Na Jaemin was late to your meet-up, even though Jimin insisted he was the one who wanted it. You’d been sitting here for nearly twenty minutes, nervously eating and checking your phone every three seconds.

If this had been any other sort of meet-up, you’d have just left, but the angel on your shoulder insisted he wouldn’t stand you up for this kind of meeting, right?

And you would be right. Jaemin burst into the convenience store, drawing the eyes of nearly everyone inside (an old woman waiting out the rain and the teenage cashier). You felt embarrassed for yourself and him, but you kept your eyes on your food.

“Sorry I’m late,” Jaemin panted, sitting down across from you. He was dripping wet, but his hair had been kept perfectly intact thanks to his hood (which he wrenched off the moment he got inside). “Jeno found out his soulmate was lying. Found another mark on her back.”

The news caused you to choke on your ramen, and for you to drop the chopsticks into the bowl. You went to cover your mouth, swallowing the rest as fast as you could. “Wow, are you okay? Sorry, didn’t think it would be that shocking.”

“Hasn’t—” you coughed again— “hasn’t it been, like, a year? She’s managed to lie for that long?”

“Completely. To be honest, I had my suspicions, but I never said anything. Good news is, he doesn’t hate you anymore!” Jaemin smiled, giving you jazz hands. “Yay! Celebration! He agrees that lying about it is worse than hiding it!”

You frowned at him, picking your chopsticks back up. “Woohoo, because that’s what I was worried about.”

You took another bite of your food, and silence came between you. Uncomfortably, Jaemin cleared his throat. “Uh, can I see it?”

Sighing, you dropped your chopsticks for the second time, lifting your shirt sleeve up. You laid out your wrist onto the table, allowing for Jaemin to see the little sun on your wrist. Gently, he slid his hand under your own, brushing over the mark with his thumb. The little, blue sun tingled at the touch, and it made you feel giddier than you would’ve liked to.

Jaemin lifted his left arm, putting it next to yours. Sure enough, the Saturn and the sun lined up perfectly, and the style of the doodles matched perfectly.

“I figured it out a while ago,” you said after you’d swallowed, staring at your wrists side-by-side. “I’m Saturn, you’re the sun. I orbit around you, from far away.”

“Is that so?” Jaemin asked, letting go of your wrist. You pulled your arm back and placed it on your lap, chewing at your lip. “I’d rather you orbited close by me.”

You nearly cringed at that, feeling your ears burn at the sentiment. “Yeah, well.”

“So,” Jaemin paused for a second, sniffling. “How…can we do this? In a way that makes you comfortable. I can tell you don’t want to escalate quickly, not like Jeno and…yeah. No escalating.”

“Well, my mom will want to meet you. I don’t think my dad would care,” you mumbled. “But I want to, like, know you before you meet my mom.”

“So how do you want to get to know me?”

“Let’s just…um, go with the flow? I guess, yeah. We can be, like, friends. For now.”

You could tell that Jaemin didn’t like the title of “friend,” but that didn’t matter to you much. This was for you, and, no matter how fast he wanted to go, your consent mattered more.

Despite his displeasure, Jaemin smiled, nodding his head. “Okay, friends. I’m okay with that. For now.”

AUGUST 28, RIGHT NOW. You and Jaemin sit in the car outside your mom’s house, going over all the things he needs to know to make a good impression on your mom. He already attempted to wear a suit to your very casual family dinner, which you quickly explained wouldn’t help your case.

“When Jeno met his ex’s parents it was a train wreck,” Jaemin regurgitated, going a bit pale in the face. “He came home and looked dead. Like he was going to pass out. I don’t want that to happen.”

“My mom will just be happy you’re attractive, all right? You don’t need to be scared of her. My dad is awful, so he won’t care and will just ask about your job plans. Your answer will be—”

“Right, surgeon, I know. Student council president. Whatever. I don’t care about your dad, either, just your mom.”

“Jesus, that’s the first time anyone’s ever said that.”

You shifted your body fully to the left, facing Jaemin completely. You raised your hands and placed them on both sides of his face, leaning in very closely. “My mom is very nice. She will not care about what you do or say, as long as you are attractive and will give her—”

Suddenly, you paused, not wanting to finish your sentence. Jaemin’s lips twisted into a sinister smile. “Will what, huh? My attractive face will give her what?”

“Shut up.”

“Anything for you,” he said, leaning in and pecking you on the lips. “I think we are good to go, yeah? Since I just need to be attractive. And a doctor.”

“For sure,” you grumbled, pushing the car door open and stepping out. “Let’s just go.”

Jaemin smiled to himself, turning the car off. “Anything for you.”

thank you for reading!

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