#very messy but you know. whatever
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thinking about them
#very messy but you know. whatever#genshin impact#fanart#digital art#artists on tumblr#kabukimono#wanderer#scaramouche#genshin scara#genshin wanderer#raiden#raiden ei#raiden shogun#wanderer fanart#raiden shogun fanart#genshin impact fanart#clip studio paint
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my silly viera wol alt bc reasons uwu
#very messy tablet doodle could be better but eh it's something lol#anyways ye this is my edgy bunboi alt whom I like very much#it's about the vibes#I guess#if you don't get the vibes then congratulations I envy you I wish I wasn't so hung up on them tbh geez#ye he's silly af but I'm just having fun so lol#and really he doesn't look all that silly ingame I'm just projecting nonsense quite a lot I guess ha#his hair is actually black with purple details not all dark purple but I improvised and it ended up like that so eh#it works I suppose#he ninja'd his way up through hw danced through sb and is now reaping his way through shb and beyond yeehaw#shame his favorite facemask is bound to ninja only though bc the one he has to use as reaper is so clunky but eh it works#and there's always the bandana options for variety I guess ha#gonna continue through shb with this guy soon when I get the time#catboy's 'bout to ruin this poor bunman's life even more letsgooo#anyways enough random rambling sorry#enjoy or don't it's whatever#ffxiv viera#wol#idk if I should tag the finger flipping but eh let me know if I should I guess idk lol#I draw what I want#also unrelated but go stream DISDAIN on your platform of choice or don't I'm not your mom but either way yay music highly recommend yessir#anyways next artpost will be bombeep or at least fnf related in some way I swear to jeebus#fingers crossed something'll be doodled soon yeehaw
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who in the torchwood team would hate nardole the most.
#torchwood#doctor who#nardole#dr who#dw#cannot figure it out#the one (1) thing im sure of is this: andy and nardole would get along SO well. they would LOVE each other. they meet like‚ ONE time in the#presence of at least one torchwood team member & like INSTANTLY hit it off in the background while whoever it is investigates smth and when#theyre done they come back to find nardole nd andy having a very quietly intense discussion abt smth extremely mundane & the team member#is like that photo of ben affleck with a cigarette. & then gwen finds out later that nardole and andy meet up every week to play mah-jong#also nardole would NOT fuck andy theyre just friends. and both of them get defensive if anyone ever suggests it.#in particular nardoles response is: (in a high and mighty tone of voice) 'actually. i dont sleep with cops thank you.' andys like 'whats#that supposed to mean' (a little offended) and nardoles like 'no a-dog its just a bit too messy for me‚ what with the legal system and all.#i dont do lawyers either. beyond clingy you know how it is' and andys like 'yea you know what thats reasonable i guess'#ari opinion hour#also andy DOES NOT KNOW THIS but thats the only thing preventing nardole from trying to fuck him like a bird doing one of those#weird ass mating displays. thank god for this also because it means we are all spared from whatever That would be (which‚ awkward‚ mostly)#ALSO YES NARDOLE WOULD HAVE A NICKNAME FOR ANDY BY THE END OF THAT FIRST CONVERSATION. IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.
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oh you know
#charmuro#char aznable#amuro ray#very messy sketches but whatever you know. love is real#these r from my amusha book… aggh cant wait to clean them up and do some other stuff for it t_t
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thank you old gamefaqs walkthroughs i love you old gamefaqs walkthroughs
#they should stop compiling guides and resources on messy discord servers or whatever and go back to good ol days#the ascii art often found in the old walkthroughs and guides are charming and they're imo a lot cleaner.#it's a lot easier to find exactly what section of the guide you need atm with the little search codes often found in each chapter#they were so full of personality; full of commentary made by the writers and their personal tips and tidbits that were very interesting#as someone who plays a lot of retro games i'm so happy that i get to reference these pieces of history so often whenever i need help#i have so much respect for the people who spent hours upon hours researching their games and meticulously writing it all down#just for the fun of it. for the sake of helping others that are struggling.#there was no profit to be gained from all that hard work. just the fact that someone else might have an easier time#and hopefully get to enjoy the game as much as the person writing the walkthrough#idk man i'm getting pretty emotional just thinking about all those people. do they know how much they've done for people all over the world#personal
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just finding out that the term "anticipatory grief" exists and reading about it and then finding out about other concepts like disenfranchised grief and ambiguous loss and like... oh okay now I have some terms for things we experience but never know how to talk about
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#grief#thank you to the follower that reblogged the post about grieving the undead and added something about that in the tags#now I'm reading about ambiguous loss which is the thing where it's like... they're gone but they might come back#or where they're still here but don't remember you or whatever#where it makes grieving difficult because it's messy and complicated#I didn't know there was a term for this and it's very cathartic and validating to see stuff talking about it#I rarely see anything that talks about grief from anything other than death#and it's nice to actually see stuff talking about other types of grief from other sources
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Super random post but I think something that really limits my artistic abilities is that I kinda have this mindset,, where I like everything to be perfect instead of just being carefree with my art
#It makes stuff look less appealing I think usually#Like my art is good and I’m proud of some of my recent art cause it’s cool and all!! But I just don’t know if I really like it at the momen#I want to be messy with it .like no art is ever ugly !!!!! There’s always a good way to look at “bad” art (or whatever you perceive bad as)#Also cause I draw every single day with no misses .like even if it’s just a sketch I’ll still count it as art!! I just feel like (cont)#My art is limited ?In a sense#really thinking about this because I got inspired by a bunch of random artists and how they value their color choices where it makes#Everything look pretty n stuff .while the art is very imperfect in some way like messy lines and scribbles#wrenbles
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oh my god this pillow….
Edit: “it can’t be that bad” behold my horrors boy
Ancient pillow as fragile as mummified linen
#ra speaos#personal#listen I grew up Poor and Autistic so as you can imagine I got this pillow second hand as a kid and I’ve had it ever since#I only got a brand new pillow for the first time ever when I was like 18#but w aforementioned autism I couldn’t let go of my old pillow so I’ve kept it#today I took off its inner cover for the first time in years#(I KNOW ur supposed to wash it like every few months or whatever but like I’ve been using it as a leg support pillow#so it’s not like I have my face on it or anything)#anyways. point is this pillow is DISINTEGRATING#inside the inner cover it has another cover w a zipper and then the pillow itself. both are literally so thin poking it too hard breaks it#the cheap stuffing is all condensed together so at the very least it isn’t messy but like#guys it looks so sad and worn and I refuse to throw it out bc it’ll make me sad :(#besides the inner cover I’m washing now is fine and it’s one of those anti allergen ones so like. it’s fine. it’s fine guys.#aorjrbwhehsjwgshahda the most threadbare and worn pillow you’ve ever seen in your life: put me out of my misery#me. putting the cover back on: shushhhh I’ll reconsider in another 20 years
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consider the fact that "BL/yaoi has a precedent of being written by women for women, and with that tend to romanticize tropes that are usually considered toxic in m/f media because it's instead being acted between two men" and "the assumption that any piece of media (whether described as BL/yaoi or not) coming from countries like japan, china, or korea that includes a relationship between two men automatically suffers from this issue and european/american media with gay relationships don't and are better somehow is just straight up racist" are statements that can and should coexist
#txt#saw some very annoying posts on twitter about this re: heartstopper#where self proclaimed Profic proshit whatever idc what they call themselves were like#see this is why BL/yaoi is SUPERIOR LET QUEERS BE MESSY#or whatever#and im like. my brother in christ you live in delaware first of all#the orientalism and exotification is showing#and also like. Theres gay media from EU/US where gays are messy youre literally just not looking.#Just say you have an obsession with upholding BL/yaoi as the ultimate media made by the oppressed#while ignoring BL and geikomi written by like actual gay men#or asian media explicitly depicting other members of the LGBT community that you ignore bc like#its not from japan or korea or china bc you have a weird colorist bias you havent considered#Theres like a fuckton of Thai films for example like way more than youd expect#and even in EA there are documentaries like shinjuku boys which is about trans men in JP#but youre too busy caring about your freedom to write boku no hero omegaverse slave fic to actually care about real LGBT people lawl#but whatever what do i know im just a stupid fancop right giggles
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the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years.
but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.
#nightmare.personal#it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful]#my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible#like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good.#stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much#but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life#and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened#and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like#yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this#but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it#and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation#because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this#but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one#having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing#and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video#getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything#i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this#but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this#and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this#neg#God i'm exhausted
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haruka should be allowed to be mad at kiryu tbh
#not just in y6 but like all the time#dont get me wrong i LOVE them and i love them being sweet and happy and i love kiryu being a good dad ok#but kiryu is uh. not always the best. in ways that i think she should be upset about#and i think the canon narrative doesnt rlly wanna address that bc kiryu is trying so hard and that effort must be forgiven#and for a happy ending to occur the family must be reunited#and i get that but like. haruka's side of the story is often ignored completely#or else boils down to unconditional daughter love in ways that are supposed to be admirable#and again. i love these two dearly. i love them very very much. but i think that tension should be explored#their relationship would be Very Complex and i think it would be Messy tbh. not like screaming fighting per se but i think haruka should be#allowed some moments of Uncle Kaz Im Sick Of Your Shit type stuff#im not even sure why i feel this way specifically bc i know i used to have reasons for it but like. yeah#even if you dont think haruka's justified or that she's missing some details/perspective or whatever i think she should be hurt and upset#about some of The Bullshit. baby girl needs therapy she needs some support and sometimes kiryu just. idk.#anyway go listen to welly boots by the amazing devil. thats basically my thesis statement#look maybe I'm just projecting my own daddy issues or whatever idk. maybe more people should do that with them like. shit#I'll do it someday I'll make that content i swear#sorry thinkjng about the unconditional daughter love again. she's kind of an ideal. she's a fantasy sometimes of a daughter figure who will#always understand how hard you're trying and be cute and love you no matter what. does that make sense??? and it's like. like i almost feel#bad for knocking that bc i get parents are under a lot of stress but i think she should have that power and that agency to be upset with#him. idk if im making sense. she's reduced to the Ideal Daughter and i want her to be loving and kind but with some moments of bitterness
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.
#theres always those little details about your childhood that stick to your mind you later on figure out to be a huge deal actually#theres always those lingering feelings from when you were young that haunt your actions and ways of thinking to this very day#but you never question that#because to you its normal#figuring out that many many things that happened in my head are maybe. just maybe not that normal makes me feel insane#and i hate myself for not having the right words to use#but i dont know how longer i can deal with my own bullshit without feeling like both a complete fucking liar and a total stranger#living a whole life with the constant paranoia of being watched#passing through years of school feeling so disconnected you cant bear a single class without any external and constant outlets#otherwise without those outlets not even having control over your own fucking body and what happened to it while you were out#or whatever other term there might be#randomly bursting into tears because your mind by sheer force made you think about things you werent even a slightest bit fond of#spending such long periods of time trying to tell if what you were living was an actual thing or just purely fabricated#dreading the times at which you just had no agency over your own spiraling thoughts when getting even if slightly upset#just completely not knowing if what you were going through was a real thing or just a dream (past memories being even more messy)#the constant pressure and fog wrapped around your brain#all the stress you had to deal with solely for not being able to tell so clearly as the others your age what was really present or not#the constant divagation that made you cry at night for no reason
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Random, really simple, writing tip of the day.
Remember the AEIOUs of capitalization:
A, at the beginning (of a sentence).
E, as in everywhere (that has its own name, Earth versus earth for example, Japan, London, New York, etc).
I, as in I (idk man English is weird) (this is the only singular letter that MUST be capitalized, we tend not to do it online as it seems more casual or cute that way, but in proper text, it’s supposed to be capitalized).
O, as in objects and others (things that have names but aren’t people. English [language], Caliburn, Kleenex).
U, as in other people’s names, occasionally pronouns, and… I forget the actual name, identifiers I think? (such as Ring Leader, Captain, French [nationality]).
I have no problem with online speech being Like This and Rather stRANGE in response to the lack of vocal tone, but if you’re writing for like… serious publication (final drafts that is, not rough drafts, do whatever in roughs) and essays, I beg you to please remember when to capitalize.
#I swear I’m not being a bitch I’m just doing some peer responses and I’m dying#y’all are adults and this is a class I’m BEGGING YOU to capitalize the word Sweden#online it does not matter#it does not#by all means do whatever#but if you’re doing a serious sort of thing. articles and essays and such#you should really. REALLY. know to do this#writing styles ARE a thing but I cannot take your essay about war crimes seriously when you seem to refuse to correctly write Genova#I can’t really say where the aeiou thing… came from?#like I don’t recall a specific teacher#very well could’ve made it up when I was a kid to remember it?#I feel like it’s too messy to be anything but something my brain invented#I wonder how Y would fit… hm.#anyways.#reblog if you want?
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starting to like, accept and enjoy the feminine side of me even when it feels like it contradicts my past labels
#idk! lately ive been more comfortable in 'girly' things and its been fun#i just think its fun#my gender is like silly putty it does whatever it does and i just fuck around ig#i feel like the terms boygirl and girlboy are probably the most descriptive ways to describe this but you really have to Get it to Get It#i know that in a while i will feel more masc and then i will shift again its just how it works for me#like genderfluid but over a week or month. if that makes sense#i dont let myself spiral into 'what if im not trans after all' bc what was the last 5 years then? was that fake? was that pain all made up?#no! it wasnt! and it was something that let me bloom into the person i am today#and nothing about me would be the same if i hadnt figured out my transness when i was younger. its an integral part of me.#and cis people have no say in my gender#anyways a very long post basically to say that my gender is really fluid and messy most of the time n thats just how it is and thats okay
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Ok I'm having Joshua mental illness get hit with the me making bullshit up beam boy you could be so interesting if we try hard enough
#rat rambles#oni posting#like look at me look deep into my eyes what if his morals arent much better than some of his peers#I dont want joshua to be a bad person but theres room for him to be a very messy and interesting one#like imagine him being like genuinely loyal to jackie and her causes#but like as time goes on and shit gets worse it leads to him having to pick and choose his loyaties and who he stands by#like I just think itd be interesting if given the choice of siding with jackie or ellie he would choose jackie#not that I think ellie has great morals or whatever herself but I have little doubt that she wasnt also beinh treated like shit later on#plus I like the spice of adding more ppl to the employees who got dissapeared pile#adds to the desperate scramble feeling of late stage gravitas#but yeah I think joshua would rly rly want to keep ellie safe and not lose her as a friend but I like to imagine a world where he struggles#with that because of his own flaws as opposed to ellies#idk it just would add more to their dynamic and to joshua's non-existent character lol#like at least we see ellie involved in different enviorments joshua we see solely in casual friendly conversation#cause like he and ellie have the same job so theoretically he could know everything ellie knows abt the going ons in gravitas#which is likely quite a bit given that ellie likely is at least vaguely aware of the duplicant project#you see Im just a guy whos overly invested in joshua ellie and nikola as a trio who parallel eachother even tho nikola is only tied to them#through One email abt him stealing one of their lunches#tbf I also like thinking abt other characters late stage gravitas moments but those three are most interesting to me personally#and its pretty much entirely because of ellie and nikola being jackie's lackeys lol#and yknow what joshua deseves to be in on the fun lets get someone whos not blond in the mix#two shitty assholes and a joshua who isnt quite a shitty asshole but still isnt much better
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look if i am the one with no job and depression WHY is my sister always at home like
#ignore this#she literally has an almost boyfriend even like#please do not be home and glare at me all the time you have things to do#i love her i do but it has been just us at home for like a month#(as in my mom has been out of town)#and im so fed up she literally acts like im the bane of her existence for literally hiding in my room from her at all times#and then when i give her any kind of attitude she acts like im a bitch when she literally is so rude to me#i drove her around for a day one time when she was drunk and she was like#'you made me carsick' and 'can i please listen to anything but whatever this is' bc i was listening to a podcast#and then didn't thank me#nor did she thank me when i rescued her from a bird that she was scared of#and shes complaining to my mom that im being messy when im??? literally not???#and the worst part is that my mom is going to take her side even though i am doing NOTHING#bc my sister brought me food like twice??#im just fucking annoyedddd i cannot relax or do literally anthing when she is there#im being sarcastic too i know she has a full right to be home whenever she wants#but like.. she is purposefully taking less shifts and its very hard to deal with her being home all the time#when i have almost no other option#UGH
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