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detectiveconnor · 2 years

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@jericholeader sent a meme but actually this didn’t turn out to be a response to the meme because i ended it here. but here is a this.

It was called a Spontaneous Breathing Test. It was a prerequisite for extubation, which Connor had been told he’d failed twice in the past (he believed them, though he had no memory of the attempts and rarely failed anything at all), a period of two hours where they switched off the ventilator and waited to see how well his body breathed on its own. There were criteria to fulfill for an SBT and many of them were right at the start: the first breath in, the ability to cough “adequately” (whatever that meant), whether it was harder to draw air off a ventilator than it was on it.

He was past the first hurdles this time. The first breath was a little delayed, but he drew it in with a rasp and then a cough, hand grasping at Markus’ (he could not lift his head to find him). The focus it required worried him. Like he might somehow forget to breathe if he wasn’t paying close attention, but the alternative was staying intubated. Nobody had said much about it, but Connor was a Detective. He did not need to be able to lift his head to catch the feel of the room when they considered leaving him intubated longer still, longer than it had already been.

Shit, was what Connor would have said, if he had been able to speak, at this point. Breathing for himself, even with a tube down his throat, made a lot of it sharper somehow. The way his ribs ached, the cuts and scratches on his hands and neck (some of them defensive wounds; some of them a murder attempt), the bone-deep tired that probably had taken those memories of the first two attempts, and may well take this one. The fact he wanted Markus there, and it was a shame he could not see him. Instead of swearing Connor squeezed his hand, now, and Markus returned it, murmuring something patient and warm. This must have been awful for him. It was unfair, vastly unfair, that they were here, when Markus should have been moving on from time in an ICU room and courtrooms and being scared.

Connor rolled his head just that fraction of a distance that meant he could find Markus, now, sitting behind him and close enough Connor could see the much-later-than-five-o’clock shadow that he’d been feeling every time Markus pressed a kiss to his knuckles, or temple, or hair. Likely Markus just hadn’t considered it much of a priority, but he liked him like this, Connor thought. He had always liked when Markus’ facial hair got a little longer. Scruffy. A little bit scratchy. Maybe not to keep, but it was nice, to see it every once in a while. He would see many more of Markus’ five-o’clock-shadows, probably.

It was warm to think about. He remembered very recently thinking he would not see Markus, or anyone, again.

Two hours wasn’t long at all, Connor decided, when Markus leant forward to brush a thumb over his cheek and offer a book, or sketching, to fill in the time. Connor liked to watch him sketch. It was easier to follow than the cadence of Markus’ voice as he read aloud, though he had the sense Markus had done that quite a bit, these last few days (days? weeks?). Time had a way of disappearing inside hospital rooms, and so far breathing was maybe a little uncomfortable, but not hard. The difficult part would be staying awake the whole two hours, and he would not -- did not -- have to do that on his own.

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raceweek · 2 months

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Wdym alex almost died? I missed this somehow 😭

WELPDSJKS sorry to be the one to break it to you but yeah when he had his appendectomy he went into respiratory failure after and had to be put in a medically induced coma in the ICU (x) he came back at the next race in singapore (x) which had everyone including george like right😐okay. and it was all very concerning but it was mostly fine (if you ignore the fact his performance coach said his lungs didn’t recover for the rest of the season) but yeah he raced at singapore and he wore a special helmet that he auctioned that raised £84k for an orphanage in thailand! (x) september 2022 was a hell of a month in alexland

#and that’s what you missed on. glee #picture me like 48 hours after pissing myself at that neutered alex ask dropping my phone at my desk hearing that he was on a ventilator #FLDJDKDKS we have moved on now we can laugh #asks #anon #tw death mention #tw illness #tw surgery #tw surgery mention #i think that covers it…really sorry if not!!! let me know!

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hauntedpearl · 5 months

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you know how in crooked Kingdom nina used to be a heartrender pre-parem and if she still had those powers she could have very easily healed Matthias when he gets shot but instead her powers are reversed when they most matter to her so she just has to sit there and watch him die and then she reanimates his corpse and even then she knows he's not in there, it's just a puppet? anyway. should have happened to Castiel.

#i think..it would ruin my whole entire life #and that's something im into #doe is talking again #tw for crooked Kingdom deaths #im watching the ladyknightthebrave video on six of crows and im having a reaction to the upcoming discussion of Matthias' death #did you know. i haf nightmares after reading that book #i would wake up SCREAMING and crying #and then i had to get over it #i don't think ive ever been hurt like that in real life #like my dad was on a ventilator and i cried about it but i did not have ptsd nightmares like thaf

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cptnleviackerman · 5 months

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rest in peace 🕊️ this is so heartbreaking

#and made worse by the stadium refusing to do anything #apparently they weren't even handing out the water bottles that were available #and taylor and her team had to hand them out themselves #and the stadium closed the ventilation system?#just to stop fans outside the stadium from being able to see inside #wtf #it was over 40 degrees Celsius #which is just insane #:(#taylor swift #tw death #tw death mention

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cant-get-worse-than-this · 9 days

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Love it when I'm thinking about how I will explain to a future partner that sometimes my brain is too tired to feel emotions when I can't even do it with my own family!

#i just spent a week feeling so many emotions on full blast and now i'm just. ._.#vent post #vent tw #i find it so cool that it's called venting as in ventilatimg #ventilating*

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cyanocoraxx · 13 days

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rehousing eos <3

#scolopendra dehaani #centipede #mine #eos #bug tw #bugs tw #moved her into a more well ventilated enclosure with sedge peat and sand substrate

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turtleneckshiv · 3 months

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get to know the blogger i have ended 4 lives in the last 36 hours

#due to turn off ventilator per their wishes #but it still weighs on you #tw death

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ghosttownwherenoonegoes · 1 year

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I have the window open in my room so I can have some ventilation/I'm not stewing in my own sickness but it's cold so I'm probably gonna end up prolonging my sickness but idk how else to do it when I can't have my door open.😅

#tw; sickness #anyone know how to achieve a well-ventilated room when i can't have my door open?#the only option really is the window #but it's cold :D #i'll deal :))#i feel better as the days go on so i'm sure i'll be back at work soon!#saturday is the minimum though #i might end up with more days off depending on what work says #i finally feel better enough to study & write so between now & saturday i'm gonna be doing these things to my heart's content #eeeee kinda grateful for the break off work tbh uni was becoming dire again #i really miss eddie💔💔💔#maybe i can make some time for him this week

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sunglassesmish · 2 years

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we have to rush to (redacted) where my uncle is because he’s probably not gonna make it through the night. i thought he would at least make it a little bit longer but now we have to go say goodbye. i don’t know what to do

#it’s 3 hours away #they had him on a ventilator so he wouldn’t take too much energy breathing for himself #and put him under sedation #now he’s just not #gonna survive?#tw death #i’ve never dealt with death before #im scared for how my mum is going to cope because it’s her brother #and i know she isn’t strong enough for this

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sins-of-the-sea · 2 years

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"So because we're almost to the end of June, think we're going to have yet another Midsummer Misery?"

"We're already having one with this heat! We have no energy to be angsty and grumpy and reflect on centuries-old trauma when it's hot enough to fry eggs on the pavement."

"We're not even inland and the heat is unbearable!"

"I can only thwart off heat exhaustion so much if I am the one getting it...."

"Drink water! I am not dealing with everyone dying to the heat only to resurrect and die again in an instant! Do you have any idea how smelly corpses in the hot sun are?!"

#hi my name is Immy and I exist #we're still in another facility and oh god #it's an old house with poor ventilation and none of the ACs work #it gets hotter in the house than it is outside #and outside is still unberable #I had heat exhaustion yesterday so I've been doubling on water with sport drinks just so I don't feel faint #[IC based on OOC]#[Wang Ruixiong]#[Captain Josep Frascona]#[Giovanni Vespucci]#[Phoebus Duchamp]#death tw #body horror #comic violence tw

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andcrsonn · 2 years

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okay i can’t believe an episode named ‘grilled cheesus’ made me cry the second hardest i ever have at glee (#1 being the quarterback obv)

#parent death tw #my mom almost died of covid. she was on a ventilator for i think 26 days?#and i was out of state the entire time and in total denial #and that episode just brought out the feels in me even though i know burt is fine #my mom is fine too btw. she's a badass. she's the most badass person i know. she's had to relearn everything but she's kicking ass #but yeah wow i am crying so hard right now

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metalribcage · 4 days

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It's sooo tempting 2 hurt myself rn but I can't because people will get mad/disappointed in me n I'd honestly rather die than hear that again

#chem explodes #ventilation #sh tw #also last time some1 found out theh physically grabbed us n yelled @ us . so #“just hide it from them” icant ‼️they wrre a family member thag we see pretty often theyll find out #also people insys get pissy about it

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localgardenweed · 9 days

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Happy 420 everyone, i hope you all have a epic awesome sauce swagtastic days

#localgardenweed #the weed is rambling #420 #420 day #tw weed #tw drugs #WEED DAY RAAAAA #Im not gonna smoke any cause i have no way of getting it legally but like #you guys are so lucky im not making a million jokes ahout me being set on fire cause #get it #my name is weed #and its weed day #weed and weed day #get it *laugh track*#also fun fact 6 years ago today i got sent to the psych ward #is it a major coincidence? yes. is it funny as fuck? also yes #i still have the id bracelet from it too so i can confirm it #so happy weed day and have a mental health day #idk if weed will fix it though but ya know numb some of the pain #dont rely on it though guys fluttering eyes #also FOR GODD SAKE DONT SHOW UP TO LIKE RESTAURANTS OR THEMPARKS OR FAST FOOD PLACES HIGH AS BALLS I STFU YALL STINK #i work at a Chuck E Cheese and im so glad i dont work today cause id have to be drowned in weed smell at kid check #THINK OF YOUR FELLOW MAN #anyway stay ventilated and safe guys stay swagtastic

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vampiresavior2 · 1 year

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anyone else have to wait at LEAST 30 mins before entering the bathroom after a m*n has been in it for more than 15 minutes no matter HOW BAD u have to go bc it’s just so fucking rank n overall disgusting

#the toliet AND the air hot as fuck n the audacity to not spray any air freshener AND they leave the door closed like we NEED it to ventilate #unsanitary tw

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sharksnshakes · 9 months

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Open Arms - John "Soap" MacTavish

Soap might be the tiniest bit jealous of the throw pillows you nap with. You might just have to do something about that.

A/N; can someone please give soap a hug

Wordcount; 605

TW; none... but beware of tooth rotting fluff

"Why don' you hold me like that, huh?"

You blink a few times, swallow twice. Freshly awoken from a nap, your mind is still foggy, and you glance halfheartedly towards the sound of the voice--your boyfriend, Johnny MacTavish--with bleary eyes.

As you fully come to, you see him sitting at the opposite end of the couch, an amused expression on his face.

It takes you a moment to speak. "Huh?"

"I said," he repeats, leaning back on the cushions and giving you a sideways glance, "Why can' you hold me like that?"

Your brows furrow.

He rolls his eyes teasingly in response, gesturing to the throw pillow you have clutched in your grip. It's drawn close to your chest, chin hooked over the edge.

"You're talking about the pillow?" You ask drowsily, voice equal parts teasing and confused. "You're jealous of a pillow? I didn't take you for the type."

"Och, shut up," he chuckles, waving a dismissive hand in mock irritation.

You take a breath, momentarily shut your eyes, and stretch out on the cushions like a cat in sunshine. When you look up at Johnny again, his attention is elsewhere, looking at something on his phone. Frowning softly at the sight, you nudge the edge of his thigh with your foot.

He glances over at you, a brow raised. "Yeah, lass?"

You wordlessly pat the empty space on the cushion beside you.

This time, your boyfriend's the confused one. "What?"

"C'mere," you say, dropping the throw pillow to the ground and making a show of stretching your arms open.

His eyes glitter with amusement. That familiar, easy smile is tugging at the corner of his lips again. "Y'really don' have to. I was just jokin' with you."

"Lucky for you, I take everything seriously," you banter back, patting the cushion once more.

After a moment's hesitation, Johnny shifts to face you fully. "And... you're sure about this?" He asks, biting the inside of his lip. His gaze catches on your open arms, your sleepily determined expression. "You're positive?"

You don't miss his hesitance. When you speak again, you're mindful to keep your tone soft and inviting. "I wouldn't offer unless I wanted it."

You watch him swallow, Adam's Apple bobbing before he finally bridges the gap and settles himself within your open arms. There's not enough room for the two of you to lay side by side, so you lay flat on your back, Johnny sprawling overtop of you like some sort of weighted blanket. His head falls to rest on your chest. Almost instinctively, you reach up and card your hands through his hair.

You swear you hear him purr.

"Good?" You ask quietly as his arms wrap snugly around your waist. The hand that's not playing with his hair rubs gentle circles on his upper back, almost imitating the way you'd hold a stuffed animal.

"Mhm," he mumbled.

Leaning down an inch or so, you press a kiss to the crown of his head and relish his contented sigh.

For a while, there's nothing but a calm, slow quiet. There's the distant sound of the ventilation system kicking on; the faint scent of dish soap hanging in the air from when you'd worked together on chores earlier in the day. Johnny's chest rises and falls in time with your own.

After several minutes of muted hums and soft breaths, he speaks up, voice slightly muffled. "So," he murmurs, "You're tellin' me this is how you treat our pillows every time you settle in for a nap?"

You shrug. "Basically."

He groans quietly, burying his face in your chest. "...Lucky fuckin' bastards."

#cod mw2 #cod mw2 x reader #soap x reader #soap mactavish x reader #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #call of duty mw2 #cod mwii #i feel like he'd be shy abt this stuff #like he wouldn't wanna ask for it?#maybe i'm crazy #but that's just my personal hc!! anyways enjoy

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