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edorazzi · 5 years

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Well, here we are again! Twitter said yes to a review post for a Miraculous magazine that suddenly showed up in my local area. ‘Tis the season after all, and by that I mean someone bought it for me as a joke birthday gift and I was way too happy about that.

I’ve done previous reviews of the Miraculous Christmas calendar, Easter egg set, superhero fashion dolls and action figures, so let’s dive into the unknown world of merchandising yet again!

(As always, if you enjoy my posts, please consider checking out my Twitter page or supporting me on Patreon for lots of bonus content!)

4 FREE GIFTS! PACKED WITH ACTIVITIES! MEET THE KWAMIS! PRANKS & LOLS! CUT-OUT MEMES! FANGIRL ALERT! NAIL ART! 100% OFFICIAL! I’m overwhelmed! It feels like I’m having a seizure just from the packaging!!!

I should preface this by saying I haven’t bought a magazine like this in years. Possibly ever. I read things like the Beano, Animals & You and the odd Disney Princess zine when I was a kid but I have no idea what to expect from a free-gift-packed kiddie magazine in 2019. If the outside is anything to go by we’re in for a wild ride.

I’m noticing that it says “Miraculous #20″ on the back. Does this mean I’ve missed 19 previous issues? I’m genuinely a little upset by that. My local area is a complete dry zone for Miraculous so I haven’t had the chance to pick these up.

First step: let’s separate everything out and get a look at these freeeee giftssss. Except they aren’t free, because this magazine was like £3.99. This does seem to be the current trend - it’s kinda rare to see any kids’ zines without the excess packaging crammed with ‘free’ stuff. Is it really too expensive to just produce the magazine? Probably, in this economy.

Chat Noir is revealed on the cover! He was on the back of the plastic jacket, but it’s still nice to see the kids as a front-cover duo. Apparently we’re going to learn to draw Pollen, too, which sounds fun. I’m actually liking the look of the gifts as well, but we’ll get into those in a minute.

This hairbrush............. is adorable. Oh my god. It’s pretty cheap and flimsy but it functions the way it’s supposed to, and the Ladybug design has been taken into account in a better way than “it’s red/black, that counts” (lest we forget the UTTER BULLSHIT of the Christmas calendar, and YES I’m still mad about that). I don’t know how well I expect the outer sticker to last, but if it can take a bit of wear and tear this would be an adorable little travel brush. Nicely done, lads!

These nail stickers? Also adorable. They remind me of the kiddie makeup sets I had when I was little, back in the early 00s when plastic stick-on nails and decals were all the rage. Are they still a thing? That’s nice to know.

There are 13 designs (that I can count) - a Queen Bee mask, Chat Noir pawprint cake, macaron, cupcake, heart-print cookie, Ladybug stud, flower, lightning bolt, love heart, Marinette heart, bee, fox tail and star. The majority are directly related to the show and that makes them feel special. No Carapace though? :(

I’ve put a little Marinette heart on my furthest finger. At the time of typing this up (about a day later) it’s still firmly in place. I haven’t really knocked it around, granted, but it’s not flimsy enough to fall off after five minutes either. It’s also really cute to look at. Guess I’m still a decal-loving 2004 girl at heart......

These stickers though!!! Wow! They’re those holographic and slightly-puffy kind and they feel like pretty good quality, and the designs are so cute! I can’t fault these, they’re absolutely adorable. I immediately want to stick them everywhere.

So I’ve stuck them everywhere. I’m especially proud of the light switch pun. My room looks GREAT.

I saved these “mystery stickers” for last because I’m weak for the thrill of mystery bags, and there wasn’t anything on the packaging to indicate what kind of designs to expect. And OH!!!! OH, IT’S MY BOY!!!! Look at him!!!!

I made jokes with the Christmas calendar about all the Chat Noir items being stolen ahead of time, but that’s definitely NOT the case with this magazine. I have been SPOILED with the presence of my cat son.

These stickers are similar to the sticker sheet (and the Chillin’ Out design is reprinted), but they’re puffier and non-holographic. I’m deeply allured by the “decorate your phone or tablet” suggestion on the packet, but I’m going to see how the previous stickers withstand the wear-and-tear of my laptop lid before adding any more. If I damage these beautiful Adrien stickers I’ll be devastated.

Those are our free gifts! They’re actually very fun and cute, I’m really happy with them! I guess now it’s time to get into the magazine itself...........

I genuinely almost forgot the magazine was the main part of this package. I figured I was done, but we’ve barely even started! Here’s a splash page of the kwami. Kwami with a capital K? Kwamis? I still feel like it should be singular-lower-case-k-kwami. I’ve never been happy about this “miraculouses” business either.

But is that--

It IS!!!! It’s Nino!!!

I guess this is the new flavour of Miraculous tie-ins. Now they’ve broadened out to a full team we’re seeing a lot more of Adrien alongside the girls, and Nino is the elusive hero who shows up once in a blue moon. At least this time his name isn’t in the title of the gotdam show.......

Anyway, I can see I’m supposed to draw my “fave Kwami”. Better get to it.

Felix just wants a break. Just one break. But not in this magazine.

Speaking of seeing more of Adrien (and, tragically, less of Nino), this is the kind of splash page I want to see! Both kids are here! The banner themed with Marinette’s signature flowers is a nice touch too; that’s associated with her arts ‘n’ crafts in the show already and it makes sense to apply it to the creative portion of this magazine too.

I LOVE the promotion of Chat Noir nails as something the little girls buying this magazine will definitely want to try. I’d expect them to do Marinette vs Ladybug nails, but instead we get a boyish option! Hell yeah!

I’m a little confused by the Queen Bee masks apparently going on the Chat Noir nails though. I guess they’re friends? Is this secret AdriChlo confirmation? Watch out, Marinette, Kagami’s not the one to be worried about.

SURE WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE SOME TURTLE STICKERS FOR AN ALL-BOYS THEME BUT I GUESS NOT HUH

Next up is a short merch catalogue (why would you put the big bold arrow pointing right to the underoos.....). Would those Chat Noir socks come in my size? Asking for me.

Then there’s......... this page. FANGIRL ALERT. God. It’s like the Ladyblog, if only the Ladyblog ever gave a heck about reporting what Chat Noir’s up to.

THE SPELL WAS BROKEN AND THE FANDOM IMPLODED WITH JOY.

I really have to wonder what age range this is meant for. Do kids know what a “fandom” is? Do little girls consider themselves “fangirls”? I guess most kids have enough internet access to figure it out these days (all the hashtags and LOLs and memes speak volumes), but I can’t imagine being young enough to fit the target range of this magazine while also knowing these terms. I dunno.

(Also, the definition of ‘implosion’ is ‘an instance of something collapsing violently inwards’, so I’m not sure that’s the word they’re looking for. Unless the return to the status quo in Dark Cupid and the continuing stagnation of the love square was enough to make people quit in frustration? Probably.)

I’m filling it in, of course. Because I must.

I gave up on the pre-approved ratings system pretty much right away, but I think this is an accurate rating of my LadyNoir opinions.

I might be kinda cynical about it here, but I am actually pretty fond of how this magazine sells Ladybug and Chat Noir as a couple. The show’s portraying it as very onesided lately, with Chat pining over Ladybug who has absolutely no interest in him (Glaciator was a TERRIBLE episode and I’m still hurting from it), but reading this zine I’d guess they were already dating. It’s cheesy, but in a nice way.

I have to laugh at “the most amazing thing about this super duo is that they always look out for and protect each other” though. Chat’s usually pretty focused on LB, sure, but there are endless instances of LB using Chat as cannon fodder and just generally abandoning him to get mauled by akuma while she carries out her personal private plan to save the day. Maybe we’re just focusing on the better-written episodes, huh?

Moving ahead. I’ve been dreading this page since reading “Plaggs Pranks & LOLs” on the back of the packaging. I feel hatred in my very bones just looking at it.

I like that there’s ONE instance of the term “ladybird” in the joke column. This is a UK-based magazine and that IS the word we tend to use over here - “ladybug” is an Americanism - but it’s like they’re worried kids could have got to the middle of this magazine about a superhero named Ladybug and then not understand the bug jokes. Maybe whoever was writing this page slipped up?

OH NOOOOO. MARINETTE, NOOOOOOOOOO.

THIS IS WHY FELIX GOT RID OF YOU, PLAGG. THESE ARE ADRIEN’S PROBLEMS NOW.

(mmm whatcha saaaaay)

I mean........... YEAH, I guess, but we absolutely did see Plagg destroy Felix with an entire shelf of heavy books. I guess he’s nicer with Adrien. It’s all fun and games until someone has a nervous breakdown in the library.

I do love the concept of Tikki getting glitter-bombed by Plagg through the mail. She just curiously opens up the little letter which got slipped into Marinette’s purse, and-- WOOSH. One entire wall of Mari’s room is glittery except for a little Tikki-shaped silhouette.

Next up is a two-page comic which is absolutely adorable! Look at those little chibis! The warm and soft colour palette! This is nicer than most of the official Miraculous comic book art I’ve seen, I hope they keep giving this artist work.

Nino’s here too (and he looks great!), and I like the touch of Marinette and Adrien playing as each other’s superhero characters. Adrien even wins the match, though I guess there’s something to be said about Ladybug beating Chat Noir (again)......

It does raise the question yet again of where this tie-in merchandise is coming from! They’ve had action figures, a movie, music video features, now an arcade game... Who’s getting the royalties here? Who’s profiting? Is this how Fu can afford to buy all those rare ingredients for the magic potions?

Over the page we have an activity to Design your Secret Lair! Right away I love the Marinette theme of the page, the soft pink and flowers, and the drawing space looking like a page in a binder with marker tabs and everything.

I have to design my secret lair, of course:

What do you think? I’m very creative. I’ll need an adult to send in the drawing of my hideout but I think I’ve really got a shot at those unicorn headphones.

Now we’re on to puzzles and character pages. I don’t know what ol’ Gabe is doing trying to meet a 13 year old girl in the dead of night without telling anyone, you’d think if he’s got that much free time on his hands he could be spending it with his son.

I don’t know how those points in Ladybug’s power profile are awarded or what they mean, but you can tell this is a fan magazine. Official sources would have put her at a 10.

Standard House of Villains page! Most of these were good episodes but I’m deeply offended Riposte isn’t on here. Maybe her motives weren’t dramatic and cartoonish enough to be up in the ranks with Glaciator and Gorizilla?

“Cat Noir’s dad is also the evil Hawk Moth”, huh? I mean that’s not WRONG, but is it really something to put in his power profile when Adrien doesn’t even know yet??? Feels like we’re kinda jumping the gun on the poor boy. What if he picks up this magazine?

Apparently he’s one point weaker than Ladybug (seriously???), two points faster, equally as agile, one point less skilled and two points less cool. Despite all those lesses he still comes out at an equal 9, which is a relief! These kids are a team, putting either of them below the other would have been a big no.

I did the colouring page too, naturally. Je suis un artiste.

Now we’ve got a page fresh from the Ladyblog, a Miraculous quiz! Not a lot of excitement, but it’s nice to see Alya getting her own section.

I like that the qualifications of “you could be Ladybug herself!” are knowing what city Marinette lives in and what school she goes to. Well done, Mari! You’re doing your best!!!

TEACHER I AM SO HUNGRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I gotta say, I’m not so sure about decorating donuts with fondant. I’ve never tried it so I could be wrong, but it feels like rolled icing instead of frosting(?) would be too heavy for an entire donut. The texture is totally different.

I mean I guess if you’re going to load your kids up on sugar you might as well go all the way. They’re going to look like they’ve eaten something horrible with all that black fondant, but they’ll have fun. Adrien would love these.

WHERE’S NINO. THIS IS JUST UNFAIR. You’ll have four out of five heroes, then a double of Marinette and Tikki? Maybe this just goes to show how little memorable dialogue Carapace has.

Though if “Spots On!” is Marinette’s dialogue and not Ladybug’s, why are the other transformation phrases attributed to Rena Rouge and Queen Bee instead of Alya and Chloé? Surely they could have picked something better for Marinette to justify having her on this list twice instead of Nino.

The next page brings us one of those flowchart quizzes! And ouch, yet again the absence of the other heroes is obvious. I can understand not including Chloé here since she’s technically not a “friendly” character yet, but no Nino? Alya and Marinette are close friends, but Adrien doesn’t really hang out with them without Nino around. Having the three of them together just seems strange.

I do like the little fashion page! They’re all cute and affordable and easy to find on the high street here. I’d love to see how other issues of this magazine are structured; is there a different fashion spot every time? Styles to channel each individual hero would be adorable.

Moving on to a tutorial for a Ladybug notebook! I would have made this, but I didn’t have the time nor a notebook to stick it to.

Between this and the donuts, it seems weird that these designs are based on, like... an actual beetle, eyes and antennae and all. Shouldn’t it be Ladybug’s symbol? These come across more like “fun animals” arts ‘n’ crafts instead of themed after Miraculous specifically. I think if I made this (or decorated the donuts) I’d miss out the head and match the spot pattern to Ladybug’s symbol.

The hidden message design is adorable though. I can see this being a craft kids are super proud of.

Another activity page! I didn’t have a go at these but they’re pretty standard. It’s cute that the coded message designs are the same as the stickers and nail decals!

Also, apparently Ladybug’s ‘secret’ is “LB mask + heart + CN mask”, which was (somehow) stolen by Volpina. Is that the secret Hawk Moth was talking about earlier in the magazine? Is he blackmailing Ladybug with revealing she has a crush on Chat Noir? How did Volpina ‘steal’ this secret? Is LadyNoir finally reciprocated???? THIS IS A WHOLE EPISODE IN ITSELF, I NEED ANSWERS--

Next page we have an ad for another girly magazine (Quizzes! LOLs! Celebs! Cringes! Puzzles!). I think I’ll pass, no matter how appealing that giant microphone pen is.

And a “Miraculous Identity” quiz! Tikki’s apparently super fickle with her wielders, three seasons of relentlessly praising Marinette and now she’s telling us we’re the Chosen Ones. You can’t fool me with those big ol’ eyes.

My inner superhero is Marvellous Fox, by the way. Though yet again I’m noticing we don’t have turtle options...................

And on the back cover... the memes. Oh, sweet lord, the memes. They’re hashtag-SoRelatable! And I can cut them out to keep! Oh boy!!!

Is this what kids do when they have limited internet access? Cut fresh memes out of magazines and carry them around? I need to know.

That’s a very sinister Ladybug at the bottom of the page though. What’s-- What’s she going to do to me if I don’t cut out and keep these memes. Ladybug what are you going to do if I d--

Well that brings us to the end of the magazine! And yet again I’m surprised by how much time it takes to just put a bunch of photos together and write about them.

This is a neat little magazine all in all! The ‘free gifts’ are pretty nice, there’s a fair amount of content and the whole thing is pretty cute for young fans of the show. I could see myself buying this again - if it ever shows up on shelves, Miraculous is so scarce around here that I fully expect it to disappear again after this one issue - just for the free junk, but it would be interesting to see how they’d structure different issues too!

I notice we never did get that promised tutorial on how to draw Pollen; the one advertised on the cover. Was the “draw your favourite Kwami” activity supposed to cover that? I’m not sure that really counts.

If you got this far, thanks for joining me on this Miraculous journey! We’ll meet again whenever I get another piece of weird ML merch to cover. Bien joué!

#miraculous ladybug #josie talks about things #josie's art #i really should get a review tag #ANYWAY there's a bit more art in this which isn't just the header image so give it a look!#and felix features a couple of times because WHY would he not on edorazzi dot com

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thesinglesjukebox · 4 years

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DEMI LOVATO - ANYONE

[5.92]

As debuted at the Grammys...

Jackie Powell: As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression, "Anyone" reflects a very familiar set of emotions and experiences. Depression is accompanied by loneliness and shame. The phrase "I feel stupid when I sing" -- I've been there. The heaviness that comes with feeling like you're a fraud or a fool when you are doing what you are meant to is all too real. Lovato spoke to Zane Lowe before she embarked on her unofficial comeback tour, and she uttered something that also hit home: "There's only so much that music can do before you have to take responsibility and you have to take the initiative to get the help that you need." That's a sentence I also remember with clarity. Music was a temporary band-aid for me during a rough time, and it takes that shape for many, including me and Demi. I watched the second phase of Lovato's comeback tour last night and it was obviously incredibly different in tone and timbre from her premiere of "Anyone" at the Grammys. It was meant to be. "The Star-Spangled Banner" which is one of the hardest songs to sing ever, by the way, is meant to be clean sounding and strong. "Anyone" a week earlier was strong, potent even, but it was coarse sounding. Although Lovato enunciates each word she sings, the track isn't conventionally beautiful and isn't polished. For once in my life, I agree with Jon Caramanica when he notices that the track doesn't move "totally steadily." He realized the parallelism to the subject matter: "recovery is not a straight line." It shocks me that Lovato needed five other songwriters to fine-tune this track. While I usually use that number as a vehicle for more criticism, here I won't. I would have loved to have been in the room with this group of people. I think it's inspirational and equally ironic that in lieu of the isolation discussed on "Anyone," it is clear that by the end of the track's completion and release, Lovato had her "someone" in the studio and in her orbit who would and could listen. [9]

Brad Shoup: "Anyone" marks one of those times where the machine opens itself up for inspection. It's true, there are 100 million songs walking this earth that will not get recorded, and it is a matter of great fortune that Lovato's will, and that she is sufficiently healthy to sign off on their release. Holding the "fuck" until the second pre-chorus... that's craft. Singing "I feel stupid when I pray"... that's a brand-new move -- in American pop anyway. The authenticity is beside the point, for me. It's the choice to deploy: the blowout power-ballad vibrato that doesn't quite crack but still permits the entry of rage, the clomping piano accompaniment that suggests someone auditioning to "The Climb." It is rough but refined, gauche yet graceful, a moment to note and to wonder if there is shame in noting. [8]

Katie Gill: It's very hard to talk about this song. Demi Lovato's had a VERY HARD 2019 and this song feels like a very direct, very personal response to said trauma. You listen to this song and it hits you hard with what she was going through and her mental state at the time. Which is why I feel completely awful when that chorus hit and my only thought was "oh dear, this is the wangsty version of 'Beautiful.'" If this helps her process trauma in a healthy way then you do you, Demi Lovato, write that song, release that power ballad that's an awkward marriage between an honest expression of grief and a big views-generating #GrammysMoment. But this feels aggressively overwrought in a way that I know would be memed to death if we didn't have the backstory of Lovato's addiction/hospitalization and aggressively personal in a distracting way. I can't help but feel that this shouldn't have been released and promoted the way it was and am honestly curious as to who the fuck on her team decided to release and promote this the way they did. Just because the world has the ability to read someone's diary doesn't mean that they should. [5]

Thomas Inskeep: Lovato applies her massive lungs to a big, vulnerable single that speaks loudly; you can hear her personal pain in these lyrics -- and in her performance. As someone who lives with depression and anxiety, it means plenty to me that she put these feelings to paper, and later, recorded and released them for the world to hear. That takes guts. The production here is suitably understated, the better to let Lovato's voice, and especially those lyrics, shine through. [8]

Michael Hong: A little past halfway through the Grammys ceremony, the producers finally found someone to do something everyone else was trying to do. Here was a woman whose last appearance was a soul-shattering confession, whose very publicized addiction and overdose never stopped following her. Here was a woman who survived. And finally, on the Grammy stage, here was a woman whose voice was strong enough to blow everyone away and whose voice conveyed enough pain and emotion to demand the attention a line like "nobody's listening to me" demands. It's an incandescent performance from Demi Lovato, but as a standalone single, it falls flat. Instead of swooping and swooning across like the best of her ballads, it becomes another overwrought addition to the list of capital Demi Lovato Ballads. Similar to how the lack of restraint in Lovato's voice on "Warrior" or "Father" lessened the emotional impact of the tracks and instead felt like a lengthy scream into the void, the rawness of her vocal makes "Anyone" a difficult, almost painful and grating, track to hear. It's a hell of a show there on the Grammy stage, completely deserving of the standing ovation, but on its own, it's confusingly both underwhelming and excessive. [4]

Katherine St Asaph: I teared up at the Grammys when this was on, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's that, after hours of limp, perfunctory piano ballads from artists who deserve better (Billie Eilish?!), it was jarring to hear one one with heft, albeit old-fashioned Diane Warren-y heft. ("Anyone" was actually written by Bibi Bourelly, who also wrote Rihanna's equally raw-sounding "Higher" -- a fact that suddenly contextualizes this perfectly.) Maybe it's the songwriting, how the default answer to "nobody's listening to me" -- "but by definition I am" -- is just a thought away from "aw, but I am." Maybe it's that I feel stupid 20 hours per day, and, the remaining 4, I'm probably just not conscious to notice; of course I'll react hearing that mirrored in song. Whatever it was, it doesn't carry over to the studio recording, sterile by comparison, the over-belting in the chorus seeming less like being caught in the emotional moment, and more like using the wrong vocal take. [4]

Alfred Soto: Sincerity has resulted in good and bad art, as Demi Lovato and her five co-writers understand. Belting the buds out of your ears isn't a bad rhetorical strategy -- hell, it worked at the Grammys. Away from environs inclined to laud this approach, "Anyone" sounds wobbly but still showbiz fake. [3]

Tim de Reuse: There are only a handful of truly poignant lines here, and you have to read the entire Demi Lovato narrative into them for the rest of the song to have any impact; taken on their own terms, they don't communicate much at all. The line "I feel stupid when I sing" is brilliant in isolation, yes, but what other sentiments in the song does it really build off of? Despair is referenced only in generalities, and the circumstances that created it are nearly absent. (The line "I used to crave the world's attention" is the closest thing we get to a fuller picture.) On this half-finished foundation, the repeated full-force restatements of the central refrain sound detached and generic -- it doesn't help that she belts out every single line of the chorus with equal intensity, causing the track as a whole to feel dynamically flat. [4]

Alex Clifton: Oof. Like "Sober" before it, "Anyone" stings more once you know the backstory of the song's composition. Lovato has described this song as a cry for help, and it's definitely one that makes you shake your head and say "Why was nobody helping this girl?" I'm still caught off the line by "I feel stupid when I sing," as it's a level of vulnerability I've rarely heard in music. Writers frequently disparage themselves, but I find it much harder to find examples of musicians doing the same in their songs, noting the futility of art when trying to hold on to sanity. "Anyone" isn't as strong as "Sober" for me, and it's a hard listen both in terms of subject matter and composition (I cannot listen to this on repeat), but it's a brave return to form for an artist I was scared we would lose. [7]

Andy Hutchins: Definitely a song that makes one think its singer needs to be out in the world performing rather than focusing intently on managing the ups and downs of the entertainment industry and bipolar disorder, this. I do not fault the intent: It is toweringly brave to try to live this life and the one that has been bent on killing her at the same time. But I could certainly deal with never hearing Demi belt again, were that the way to ensure her survival as a person -- and to be blunt, her diminishing creative returns and continued appeal on attempted tour de force comeback singles suggest this is a path being walked with Scooter Braun at her side to steady her for commercial and not artistic reasons. If nobody were really listening, would "Anyone" exist? [4]

Nortey Dowuona: Demi slides along the sandy piano chords, slipping below the keys into the darkness, slowly climbing upwards on her swaying, thin voice, then swinging towards a glimpse of light. She falls back, swinging harder and yet still does not let go of her trembling voice and fall away from the light. Demi restarts climbing with a greater force than before, her voice shaking and shimmering, sometimes disappearing, but Demi climbs slowly and sets her hand on the keys and pulls up, before the hand holds out a trembling pinkie and Demi climbs aboard it, relieved, and is carried away into the light. [10]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: It was more than 10 years ago that I found myself listening to Demi Lovato's early demos ("Trash," "Open," "Shadow," "Stronger"), unable to sleep because of my infatuation with them. The scrappiness of those songs and the teenaged, diaristic confessions they held were moving. Me and Lovato are the same age, and every time I listen to one of her ballads, I'm reminded of those early songs and how much of who she was has remained today. It's easy to complain that "Anyone" is more of the same, but any such frustrations harbor the same complicated feelings of communicating with anyone in a vicious cycle of self-hatred -- it's not like Lovato isn't privy to the familiarity of her Big Ballad press cycles. "Am I all alone again? [...] I'm sick of always being the one to always break down, to always melt down in the end," she sang on "Open." You can feel those same cries echoed here. Lovato initially aims for a "Hallelujah"-like lilt but opts for shouted proclamations. It feels desperate, forced, performative: perfect in her own way. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Demi Lovato #pop #music #music review

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