#untitled shenhe game
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(previously | #untitled shenhe game)
> the child is gone. kill the pigeon.
“Ma'am, are you alright?” repeats the guard.
The child's innocence — the crafty, deceitful slander-child's innocence — is no longer at risk.
You hold out the panicking pigeon and snap its neck.
It is done.
The pigeon's death was painless.
The child was not traumatised.
You are a model citizen.
The guard makes a gagging noise. “What in the abyss...”
> take stock
You evaluate the situation.
Your name is Shenhe. Your friend Yun Jin is coming over for dinner in five hours. Your “signature dish” requires Noodles, Fowl Stock, Mushrooms, and Boar Meat.
You are on your belly on the steps of Bubu Pharmacy, holding a pigeon carcass.
> take stock
You only need the pigeon's bones for the Fowl Stock.
You could proceed to pluck and carve the pigeon methodically. This will take time, but perhaps you could barter the excess meat for other ingredients.
Or you could debone the pigeon efficiently. Be warned: the ensuing splatter might soil your clothes.
“Ma'am, what are you doing?” says the guard.
It is pragmatic to butcher and converse at the same time. However, it may be considered impolite. You are not sure.
The following update will be a vote for dialogue options. (preview)
(next)
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Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being.
Your friend Yun Jin is coming over for dinner in six hours. You do not have any food.
> ask Xiangling for advice
(table of contents)
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Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being.
It is late afternoon. Today's date is unimportant. In two and a half hours your friend Yun Jin will be coming over for dinner.
To make your “signature” noodle soup you must still acquire Mushrooms and Noodles. You have hunted what you can. Now you must go to a store and exchange money for goods.
Perhaps you were procrastinating on this part. You do not like crowds, after all.
> return to Liyue Harbour
You hear the city before you see it, with the clamour of voices and the clatter of footsteps on cobblestone and the clanking of tools.
Arriving at the public park to the north of the city, you make your way down to the pond at Feiyun Slope.
You glance at the steps outside Bubu Pharmacy. The child from earlier is gone.
There is a spectacled man on the steps. He wears loose flowy robes over a comfortable shirt. He is staring at one step in particular, upon which is a pool of dried pigeon blood.
He is frowning and massaging his temples. In your opinion, he seems dissatisfied.
The snake coiled around his neck whispers something into his ear. He turns his head and, spotting you, beckons you over.
“Miss Shenhe,” he calls out. “May I have a word?”
> walk away very quickly
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> say yes but you are no hero
It is true that you fought Beisht and drove the ancient god away from Liyue Harbour.
“Yes,” you say, “but I am no hero.”
You weren't trying to be a hero. You were simply protecting people you cared about.
Some of your friends have disagreed with you on this. Yun Jin said that a hero is defined not by their motivations but by the difficulties they overcome. Yanfei said that there's no legal definition of heroism so arguing over it is pointless.
No matter. You know what you know:
“I am simply a human like any other.”
The woman in the gray hooded cloak tilts her head. She seems to be thinking this over.
“That's very enlightened of you,” she eventually says. “Still, it's an honour to meet someone as formidable as you.” She motions towards the dead Fatuus. “May I take his badge?”
“Yes,” you say. (She likely wants it for the Tianquan's recycling program, in which Fatui soldiers' badges can be traded in for a thousand Mora each. The Tianquan is very environmentally conscious.)
“Thank you,” she says, and begins rifling through his clothes. “Miss, may I trouble you for your help with something?”
“I am busy,” you reply. “I am making noodle soup, so I am hunting for Boar Meat.”
“Really? I can get you some Boar Meat.”
“I would prefer to hunt my own kill.”
“Oh. I see. It's just, please, my research has stalled and... Is there anything I can do for you? Would you like arrows? Or some Hunting Traps?”
Hunting Traps might be useful. When used correctly, they can result in additional meat at a higher quality. Nobody is quite sure how this works.
“The local boars are really aggressive,” the woman adds. “Even with your prowess, I wouldn't recommend getting into a brawl with one. It's too risky. One of my boys got knocked off a cliff by a boar just the other day.”
(You are aware of the risks. Cloud Retainer once told you a precautionary tale about this exact thing happening to Xiao.)
(Multi-choice: multiple popular options may be picked.)
> offer to trade Fowl bits; ask what she wants help with; go challenge the boar
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You blink sympathetically. It is unclear whether the woman in green notices.
She sniffles again. An infection?
You check her forehead temperature. She is not feverish.
> ask whether she is sniffling because of allergies or because of crying
“You sound congested,” you say. “Do you perhaps have allergies? Are you crying?”
“I... I'm not crying right now,” she says.
A clever evasion. But you will not be fooled.
“Were you crying earlier?” you ask.
The woman buries her face in her arms and nods. “Yes,” she mumbles. “I was. I've been having a really awful day and I got sad. Is that so bad? Even adventurers in books get sad sometimes.”
Ah. It seems she feels ashamed for crying.
“It is not bad,” you reassure her. Thinking back to the lessons Master taught you in your youth, you continue: “There is no shame in having strong emotions. It is only our response to such emotions that ought be judged.”
The woman nods slowly. “I guess...”
“Did your strong emotions cause the maiming of innocents?” you ask.
“What!? No...”
“Did they cause you to disrupt a master artisan deep in thought?”
“Uh...” She blinks. “I don't think so...?”
“Then do not feel bad for crying,” you say.
She parts her lips as if to say something, but no sound escapes them. Instead, tears well up in her eyes.
A minute later, she begins to sob freely.
After a while, the woman looks up at you.
“I'm sorry,” she says. “I'm just complaining and complaining and... What about you? Are you okay? How are you?”
> tell her you vanquished a boar
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> head to a grocery store
Enough procrastinating. You are strong of heart. You will obtain your Noodles (and/or Flour), no matter how distressing the crowds.
You head towards Chihu Rock, where there are grocery stores with more sensible prices.
The smell of gailan and overpriced flour fades as you leave the fancy grocery store behind. (The smell of necrotic flesh and coconut milk does not fade. This is likely a sign that there is some carcass stuck to your spear.)
As you proceed, you encounter an obstacle. A wheel has fallen off a cart in the middle of the road. The crowd has slowed to a crawl around it, and some people are shouting angrily at the cart's owner. It is very difficult to get past.
(NOTE: "Go around" implies a detour. The other options are, of course, literal.)
> go over it
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(first | previous | #untitled shenhe game)
Your name is Shenhe and you are at the top of a cliff, locked in mortal combat with a boar.
If you fall from the cliff, you will lose precious hours that you need to make noodle soup for your friend Yun Jin.
If the boar falls from the cliff, the meat will be improperly tenderised.
> strike decisively
As the boar charges towards you, you coil your legs and lunge.
There is no margin for error. You must end this in a single strike, if possible.
(ℹ️ This battle is a series of 5–7 skill checks. Past results under the cut.)
> mind be purged. world be saved.
There will be five to seven tests. Five successes will ensure that you defeat the boar without either of you falling off the cliff. (Be warned. If a sixth or seventh test is necessary, these will be extra-difficult.)
Status as of posting:
Wisdom 🌘 — success
54.8% "corps and door" ✔️. Next highest at 11.3% "gore and VIOLENCE" ❌, 11.3% "door and dour" ❌. [i]
A knock on my door // I'm met with a boar // Its backup is poor // not even a corps
Perception 🔎 — success (barely)
34% 7 stripes ✔️. Next highest at 32% "no boar facts, Shenhe. only VIOLENCE." ❌
[i] Merriam Webster IPA pronounciations.
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I spent way too much time learning how to do this to just leave it buried in a post deep in a comment thread, so you know what, I hereby declare this GIF a 📊 promotional image 💼 for #untitled shenhe game
(the post in question)
#genshin impact#shenhe#untitled shenhe game#boar#rondo across countless kalpas#genshin edit#meta: pinned posts
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This is not part of #untitled shenhe game. This is me calibrating the “difficulty” levels for a potential “skill check” system.
Instructions: Answer properly. Shenhe's dignity is on the line.
(Willpower)
Your name is Shenhe. You are in a job interview. You will face several skill checks for Willpower, Culture, and Charisma.
(jump to end)
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untitled shenhe game [masterpost]
What is #untitled shenhe game?
untitled shenhe game is an 🌐🕹️ interactive fiction 🕹️🌐 experience using the latest Tumblr™ Poll™ technology. Experience life as a normal human being called Shenhe (17 U.S.C. § 107) who is normal.
Archives (oldest to newest)
(🧵 = end of subthread: easiest for reading!)
Your name is Shenhe. You are a normal human being. (6 hours until Yun Jin arrives.)
Xiangling and Guoba (1) — choosing a dish
Xiangling and Guoba (2) — about Heartstring Noodles
pigeons (1)
pigeons (2) — a child tells dreadful lies
pigeons (3)
pigeons (4) 🧵
the child is gone. kill the pigeon. // (continued)
Shenhe explains noodles // (continued)
the wilderness
the ruins (1)
the ruins (2) 🧵 — kill kill kill kill
the ruins (3)
the ruins (4) & the boar (1)
the boar (2) — wisdom check
the boar (3) — perception check
the boar (4) 🧵 — agility check
the boar (5) — dexterity check
the boar (6) — harmony check
the boar (7)
the boar, slain
sad adventurer (1)
sad adventurer (2) 🧵
sad adventurer (3)
sad adventurer (4)
sad adventurer (5)
sad adventurer (6)
sad adventurer (7)
sad adventurer (8) 🧵
return to Liyue Harbour
Feiyun Slope (1)
Feiyun Slope (2) — Heyu Teahouse
Feiyun Slope (3) — charisma check
Feiyun Slope (4)
Feiyun Slope (5)
Feiyun Slope (6) 🧵
Feiyun Slope (7)
Feiyun Slope (8) — go over
outside grocery store (1)
outside grocery store (2)
outside grocery store (3) — Qiqi
outside grocery store (4) 🧵
Administrivia
Duration: until we get bored, at which point the GM will shoo things along to an ending.
Propoganda posts are encouraged, both in reblogs and on the #untitled shenhe game tag.
Schedule
Polls will mostly be 24h (unless I figure out a 48h/72h hack). The next instalment will appear within 24 hours (†) of the poll closing, usually 0–12h (†).
Voting system
Decisions will be single polls, usually FPTP (or SNTV), (†). The GM is open to being talked into more intricate voting systems or brackets if they actually add value.
-----
(†) subject to GM discretion. I don't get paid for this 😜.
#untitled shenhe game#not rebloggable (so that outdated versions aren't floating around)#meta: links#genshin impact
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#kill. kill.kil. kill#i'm very disappointed in the poll-goers so far
@dandelion-wings you'll be pleased to see that with nine hours to go, “murder” and “not murder” are now neck and neck
I'm going to have to write both branches if I want to get a head start. The cognitive dissonance is gonna be massive 😹
(yes I voted for meditation, I'm a hopeless idealist)
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how would the ningguang option have ended btw?
(context)
I already typed up Ningguang's option because someone else was interested, too. Do you have insider information, anon? Is there a mole in my office? 🤔
Lady Ningguang is highly respected across all Liyue. She knows many things about laws, and also international diplomacy.
You remember hearing her say this about the Fatui:
“The Fatui are a pestilence, make no mistake. If I could, I'd purge Liyue of them entirely. Unfortunately...”
You don't remember the rest of what she said, but that first part was the important part.
Every single option besides meditate (which nearly won!) ends with murder. Not quite as gruesomely as what we ended up with ofc #calamity
the Yelan option would've been: She doesn't mind dead Fatui. "You do you, just let me interrogate any senior ones before you kill them."
the Xiao option would've been: Xiao would say it is not the Adepti's place to interfere in mortal affairs. However,
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due to scheduling issues, i have prewritten the next instalment. it is just a poll. preview below:
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is the untitled shenhe game finished? or did tumblr eat it
Hey! The game is not finished and did not get eaten by Tumblr. Instead I got eaten by [insert day job here].
I'm hoping the game will be back up and running within a week but can't promise for sure 🫤 Thank you all for your patience ❤️❤️❤️❤️
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