#until we eventually realize that
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I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#wen qing#jiang cheng#Truly Massive disclaimer here: I am a Jiang Cheng enjoyer. I like his character. I enjoy that he is very flawed and volatile.#This episode of the audio drama has a lot of great breakdown scenes featuring JC - and they all deserve a feature.#But underlying this comic is a small meta comment of 'ah man I have too many comics of JC just wailing sadly'#My goal is to draw 6-8 comics per episode - I sometimes have to truncate and cut good scenes out.#Especially when a large majority is just different flavours of trauma and toxic relationships to your self-worth.#I would also like to make a note here that just because you lose the ability to do something that is very tied to your core identity-#-does not mean your life is over. It will feel like the end of the world. It will send you into a spiral of grief. It will hurt so badly.#Sometimes we do not realize how tied up our identities can be in certain things until we are cut loose.#You don't lose yourself. I promise the pain will fade in time. I promise you will find other things to tether you. I promise you will be ok#Life moves forwards. Time moves forwards. You move forwards.#Ego death just means an opportunity for ego rebirth. You are never committed to being the same person forever.#To wrap this around to JC: Yeah I love the twist with the core transfer but man I would have loved to see JC accept the loss.#Obviously it happens for a reason (story) but I can have my AUs. I can have these 'what-ifs'.#described in alt text#I'm trying it out! *please* give me feedback - I want to eventually Add image ID to all of these comics one day
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squeak
#when i am gone it will be no more impactful than a tree falling in a forest with no one to hear it.#my death will have a meaninglessly small impact on this world. maybe it'll have a larger impact on the incorporeal.#there is something in my soul. something hungry. a serpent of unstoppable magnitude held captive in my stomach.#it wont stop until it or i kill us both will it? like a cancer.#im so deeply sorry im so bad at responding to everyone's kind messages. even more so sorry for what will eventually happen next#i have some plans. to excise this tumor that is myself. to rid the world of this putrid filth girl who is nothing but a drain on her compan#we'll see what happens. at least i got my body to a point of self approval before. at least i tried music. at least i tried to be me.#even if it changed nothing. at least im more secure in my being. if only the people around me werent so emotionally far. if only we cld tal#if only i could live with my self approval instead of loving and wanting so dearly. instead of having a mind corrupted by love#and friendship#i was so much. i know you all barely know anything about me in reality. if i asked any you'd probably just list off kinks and species.#but still. ty those who'll remember yk...#and as backup. if it doesnt work. well. please dont hate me. im just a girl who needs out. and cant keep her thoughts inside more#i hope i can be happy in the afterlife. i hope i can see these angels and maybe be one myself.#gonna put a post on top of this to hide it from brand new ppl lookjng at my blog. bc yeah. you all dont need to hear all of this#its the last one of these for this period either way#god i wish i couldve gone to toronto. i want to so bad still. god. why did i have to realize my hopelessness now of all times#bye
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sometimes i like it when my favorites are petty and mean and stupid and so what I have to propose is childhood friends javid but where they had a nasty friend breakup in middle/high school and didn't talk for years and then when they meet again as adults they're both still bitter about the way things went down and instead of talking it out like grownups they regress back to the same fight that ended their friendship in the first place and it's because they both miss each other a lot but don't know how to communicate that so they just snipe at each other meanly instead
#eventually i think they fight so hard it turns into making out and then the lightning strike of oh we were in love back then hits them both#at the exact same time (they are both clueless in this au)#and then they're so pissed off about this realization that they continue fighting and are like. enemies with benefits for a while#before they finally actually have a civilized conversation#i like to think like. race and crutchie (deeply fed up with this situationship)#also resort to middle school tactics (you're locked in this closet until you talk it the fuck out)#newsies#javid#jack kelly#davey jacobs
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asleep me has just decided to start world building i guess
Imagine: you are a misfit teenage boy, a con artist. You have a best friend - or maybe a brother? You two are as close as family regardless. You're in a refugee camp when you pull a con - you pass your best friend off as the newly orphaned son of a noble or something. It's just a ploy - to give him an in with the other wealthy kids so you can steal.
Except… he doesn't really give it up? You ask a couple of times when you're leaving, but Will, your best friend, keeps putting it off. He's fallen in with a new crowd. One that respects him, elevates him. And those new friends? Well, they don't exactly like you.
Will starts sending you off on errands when he's with his friends. You go easily, because you want to be helpful, and you ignore the hushed laughter of his shiny new friends. You go on your fake little missions designed to get rid of you.
That's how you meet the Goddess.
Imagine a clearing, golden light, and a beautiful woman who calls you a trickster and says you are destined to be enemies. Imagine freeing the three chained sun gods by accident. (By fate?) Except you tell the goddess that you don’t believe in fate, and what if you become friends instead?
(You offer to steal her, and she agrees - a fine trick indeed, wouldn't you say?)
After this instance you find something out. You can use magic now? But also it seems like you have been cursed as well - you can’t die. Fate rearranges itself every time. A shield moves to a position it wasn’t in before. A sword misses its mark. You are Loved By Fate and it is an Issue.
Time passes and your best friend grows - and you have to use magic to grow with him. He’s a king now. You love him - he’s still your brother - but his smile is more and more strained every time he sees you.
Your goddess takes many forms travelling with you. Sometimes she is a woman, sometimes she is golden magic inside of a pouch. Sometimes she is a child and travels with you, and somehow you get separated with her like that. The king finds her, and immediately is taken with her. He decides to try and find a family for this child who is shy of everyone, and offers for any individual to come and try their luck to see if the child will take to them
You are the last person to try, not because you don't think your goddess will choose you, but because you are worried even if she does the king will not let her go
The king's friends stop you. You know their faces - they are the same bullies they have always been. They accuse you of being cursed because you never die no matter how many dangerous missions the king sends you on. The suicide missions.
They attack you, and they might be cruel but they aren’t stupid. Their ringleader realizes that it must be magic shifting his shield to protect you from the lethal blows.
(You can see every lethal blow that doesn’t land play through your head. The worlds that did not come to pass. You don’t tell them the number of times they murdered you in this fight. It wouldn’t change anything.)
You manage to escape and run up to the king’s room. Using fate’s magic so much has stripped you away of other magics - you look young again. Awkward and gangly with no facial hair (the way you always have since meeting a goddess and becoming something more than human)
He’s in there with an elven woman, a noble of some kind who is wise and anyone with eyes can see the king is in love with her. (You can see in her eyes that she does not love him back, not in that way.)
The king, after some debate, decides to let you try
(He doesn’t comment on your appearance - maybe he just thinks you have a baby face without your beard. Maybe the way he avoids looking you in the eyes means he doesn’t even notice.)
You reunite, and it is beautiful - your goddess surges forward into your arms and kisses you, and you feel fates magic coursing through you and soothing over the exhaustion from the fight.
But the king doesn’t see a goddess and he doesn’t see the magic - he sees a child and he draws his sword. He says many things - that he didn’t expect you to stoop this low. That he once called you his friend.
(How long has it been since that felt genuine?)
Something goes cold in you and enough is enough. Your goddess’s magic courses through you, and you will not be separated again. You use magic to blast them back, use magic to stun them, and use magic to make you and your goddess into a rat that scurries away into the walls
The magic is powerful enough that a cascade of golden chains has manifested down the wall of the room, branching downward like a geometric tree and each one tipped with an amulet with a large inset ruby
The king and the noble awaken, and the king is furious. But the elven woman looks like all her questions have been answered
She talks about how there haven’t been terrible fires throughout the lands, despite all signs pointing to the fact that the sun gods have been unchained
She names you - trickster, calamity
In mythology apparently you are symbolized by a massive golden peacock, each "feather" in your tail with ruby-gem eyes like the chains on the wall
You are named such because you are the only creature capable of going against fate and changing it
(your train of feathers is instead a train of chains - all the fates that you have broken)
(It should make you enemies with your goddess, but you decided in that clearing twenty years ago that you were friends instead)
Apparently on your suicide missions, you have been helping. Wherever you could, you changed the fate of entire cities and towns and prevented the wildfires of the Sun gods from ravaging the kingdom
The elven woman opens a portrait that has a nook behind it. You are sitting there - well, not you exactly. But a copy of you. You are a trickster and love mischief, and you love secret spaces and those who choose to look in them. That’s enough for a part of you to be present, looking sixteen and glowing with golden light
She speaks in the ancient language to you - and you speak it back without thinking. You tell her she’s just as hot as Will with a wink and it makes her laugh. Will cannot understand what you are saying, but you don’t care right now. He’s your best friend, but you aren’t his, and it hurts
He calls you immature, and the elven woman says you’re only sixteen. He snaps back that you are a thirty-six year old man. She shakes her head, and says that you haven’t been since you Awakened. Gods are different, after all
(Maybe it was the differences that drove you apart? Maybe it’s your fault? But if that is the truth then why was there already so much distance between you? You do not ask your goddess if there was a path where you still would have been close.)
You don’t feel like a god, you feel like a person who is just trying their best. You feel tired. You feel sad. Maybe that’s why you are the one who bends fate - you’re the only one that cares enough to try.
Anyway that’s when I woke up but I like my trickster - important to note that he is a redhead with a bit of a baby face
#dream journal#my dreams#peacock trickster dream#i'm actually really vibing with peacock as the symbolic trickster animal in this world#i am also REALLY vibing with whatever part of my brain made the peacock train be made of broken chains of fate#also i am slightly curious why a) there were three sun gods and b) why were they chained#the implication was that the trickster was the only 'mortal' god#with different incarnations having different goals and morals and messing with things in different ways#and in all the other stories the other gods eventually tire of the trickster and track them down and kill them#and then the trickster is reborn as a mortal and will continue to be reborn until they get into trouble and Awaken#i have named my trickster boy 'russell' for kicks#will actually was named will in the dream though#tfw ur friend leaves you behind for a new crowd#actually tfw u become an immortal teenager and ur mortal friend continues to grow into an adult#also i can't quite describe the horror of watching those bullies realize that i was 'cursed'#and watching them try to kill me. over and over. and being stopped not by mercy or moral but by intervention of a divine power#i will be honest we did not go into that meeting with will in our best headspace#but also honestly?? fuck will for assuming the worst of us !! he was our BEST FRIEND#our BROTHER#and he didn't even ask any questions#like hey russell why does this magical child clearly know and recognize you#noble lady you can do Better honestly
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when I make a proper commission post I will be disclosing this there as well but I am like 98% sure I have anphantasia, I struggle to be able to envision my thoughts and can’t like make myself see pictures in my mind so pls bear with me and if possible have some type of visual reference for whatever you’re looking for, it doesn’t have to be perfect and it can literally be pictures from online or like from dress up games I just can’t like draw stuff from descriptions alone sometimes
#it’s times like this where I think back to when I was drawing some pin up art of Lanturn a few years ago#and my friend suggested a pose and thus we went back and forth for so long where I was like ‘is this what you mean?’ and they were like no#and would try to explain what they mean but i could not like figure out what they meant or see it in my head and thus we eventually had to#give up lmao#I want to also let yall know that even then I didn’t know I had anphantasia#tbh I thought I was face blind because briefly in high school i was like ‘how do people who make life comics remember what people look like#when I try to remember what ppl look like I see nothing’ ‘….’ and then I was like ‘I must be face blind!’ and moved on not thinking about it#again until a couple years ago when that apple meme was going around and I got asked to invision and apple and spent so long trying and#failing and was like oh my god#since then I’ve realized that this is a common thing amongst artists at least a couple that I’m aware of so I’m like god damn why does this#keep happening to us#anyways this is a lot of me rambling I’m so sorry for being so talkative on the art blog!!
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just finished bojack horseman for the first time…
#so like woah#I have mixed feelings on whether or not I’m glad they kept BoJack alive#TVFHD was quite possibly the best episode of television I have ever seen#it was the perfect way for BoJack to confront his mortality and the fact that he always thinks he’s going to ‘wake up’#but keeping him alive also forces him to confront his mortality: how long will he spend being a shitty person how many days will he waste#will he ever change? i’d like to think so. i feel as tho bojack’s death#whenever it arrives for him#will be once again similar to TVFHD#sorry I’m stoned i need to shut up#But anyways the idea that shit happens and we think it’s the end of the world but it’s really not and eventually we move on#And we don’t always realize we’ve moved on/what has passed us until it is so far gone it’s almost laughable#bojack lives to see another day. sunlight shines on all the bad choices he’s made sure but sun shines on all the chances he has to change#And be better#BoJack horseman#j watches#shaggy’s stash#j’s thoughts
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You know the line, 'to be loved is to be changed'? I think that would work for Fallen Angel!AU.
#like hear me out#essentially Doppio isn't loved too much earlier on as a child and a scapegoat for other older angels#and so he starts sneaking out of Heaven to find some semblance of love or at least someone who doesn't dislike him#then one day he sneaks into a younger Diavolo's room when the latter is hiding in his room and nearly suicidal#so Doppio does the rare and unwise thing and reveals himself and starts talking to Diavolo like#'hi are you okay can we be friends?'#and Diavolo (being a kid at this time) hesistantly agrees because- well why not?#and they were friends for a few years until Doppio ended up being told to 'help' in one of heaven's libraries#so he couldn't leave for years (also he saw the fire and thought Diavolo died) except for rare moments where he still sneaks out of heaven#eventually he finds the truth out that Diavolo is still alive and the villian is planning something bad#so Doppio essentially says 'fuck this I'm out' to the villian and straight up falls out of heaven#and he ends up at the burned out church Diavolo used to go to and Diavolo happens to be there too#it takes a few days but they catch up with each other#and Doppio realizes all that shit he's been told about falling is bullshit and he's gotten braver if not ballsier over the years#sure he can't return to heaven but he's with his childhood friend and that's more than goddamned worth it#sorry for the wall of tags but#i have feelings for these rose colored bastarss#Aus#Fallen Angel!AU
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i always forget that greg is the only family member who knows that tom is literally insane
#i wish we got to see him realize this in real time while having conversations with the roys in season 1/early season 2#he describes tom as violent and volatile and everyone just laughs at him#he starts testing it further by casually bringing up certain tom incidents#but everyone continues to laugh at all of them until eventually they tell him that the joke is overused and to find a new thing
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(pretty long thread rip)
I should be studying for tomorrow but instead I am restless and overthinking and thinking to myself about how there is so much wrong in approaching love from the perspective of trying to be liked and trying to be loved and trying to be good and trying to stick people to yourself with duct tape made of gifts and nice jokes and sweet words because well, it's not only tiring but they will leave in the end anyway, and loving and being loved is supposed to be rest and peace and a sound mind and the more you try the less you achieve any of that! Except I'm my mother's and father's child so I still do it anyway and hang around and try again and cling until it's dead because otherwise it all really hurts but it hurts anyway so
Just dgaf. And if you do then pretend you don't until you convince yourself and restrain your hands so they can't reach out to anyone once they turn their back on you and just. Let people live with their own decisions. I want so hard to be loved that I am making myself disposable like a used rag and for what? It's all gonna be good one day with or without anyone else
#i am perhaps just rambling to myself here#but i am tired of that tendency that was baked into me to try to get anyone to stick around#i remember when my first ex broke up with me i spent literal months clinging to her and trying to negotiate some kind of universe#where we would still talk and be as close as we were before#and she didn't wanna hear#until she did but we eventually distanced and when i moved on she was so upset and i wondered why because? you left me?#and i fought so hard to keep you there but you made your decision and now you're upset at me for moving on?#and the second time around i wasn't any better at it either#and only recently am i realizing that the reason she was so upset at me moving on was because i made myself so reliable#with those stupid promises that I'd be in her life always no matter what happened#and why would I do that? i always cling to people because they matter to me#and they always realize i matter to them once i move on already and am not willingly a part of their life anymore#and like sure i do attract people who tend to be assholes to me but it's on me as well#i am disproportionate in showing my care to people who don't return even 1/5 of it back#and when they get bored i am the one they call weird for that#so i really decided not even to listen to what I need anymore but only to what needs to be done and it's#just letting things go with the flow. i don't have to drag the dead weight of anything i try to keep on my shoulders#do i want to? sure. do i want to be as loved as i never am? i do of course i do#but i am trying too hard. and it's never gonna get me anywhere. because people only ever want me back in their life when i have moved on and#others value themselves more. others don't love anyone blindly so#i don't have to. even though i want. i don't have to#if you gift me a paper I'll gift you a paper. if you want to kiss me I'd want to kiss you too#and if you say you love me I'd love you back and if you forget my birthday I'll forget yours too and#if i hug you but am not hugged back i won't hug you again#i think that's the best way things can go when people are concerned#maybe this is a bit too transactional in a sense but i mean#it wouldnt be fair if it was unequal#if someone does everything for you and you don't return it then you are an asshole to them but#if you give and you aren't given you are a weirdo simply put#it's best if it's equal
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still thinking about a charlie/vi time loop/russian doll-esc au,,
#what if we insignificantly crossed paths with one another one night hours before we both met our deaths#and then we did that over and over and over again until we finally noticed each other and realized we were supposed to help save one anothe#what then#LISTEN......... i might write a drabble eventually
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My 2023 was wild, not in a way that anyone would use the term "wild" except me
#this year i travelled to finland. met a beloved mutual there#next week after that travelled to sweden/denmark (like copenhagen & malmo lol) to meet my old friend (with a recent friend lol)#then like. in spring we had this active/fitness challenege that kind of speed-run developing friendship with my coworkers#that challenge lasted 3 months i think?#also bc of it i went on walks frequently around one pond and was observing day by day a swan pair nesting their eggs until eventually#i saw their babies#also went on a 19km hike and 26km hike during the event that was crazy. swore to never do it again#ALSO participated in a trail running event (6km) and swore to never do it again#then i defended my thesis and gratuated#started thinking about and applying for phd#went on a 3 day roadtrip to lithuania with family and aunts family#following week went on a 3? day roadtrip to poland with coworkers AND FILMED THEIR ENGAGEMENT#i think after that i spent some time in a coastal town to see my cousin (from sweden)#and then her; my sister and me travelled to sweden (again for me!) to bring her back home and to give my sister her first travel with plane#then i got back and got into a phd programme.#broke my car; fixed it; gave it to my sister and bought a new car#buying a new car also was a fun trip with my engaged coworkers (but within country borders and lasted a day)#then my phd studies started and with it a new job#which i realized i should quit 2 weeks in lol#then the end of year was calmer. i did have small trips for like christmas tree igniting in a small town and#coworkers birthday party that was pretty fun#thinking back it really seems wild to me
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.
#wow okay so ive been reconnecting with my friend who i previously hadn't seen or spoken to in months#and we've been chatting again for abt a month now and she came to my house univited and without warning today and we hung out#even though i really wasn't prepared for company. i decided it was a pleasant enough surprise. she brought cupcakes.#and then she tells me. a trans man. that she. a lesbian. is in love with me#and im now very uncomfortable bc i don't want to date someone who sees me as a girl. and i Know that that's the case here#bc she's said some Kinda Weird yellow flag things abt trans ppl (esp in regards to passing) that ive overlooked bc i enjoyed her company#and she starts crying on my shoulder bc she “can't believe im rejecting her bc i think shes transphobic”#and how she “thought i liked her too” bc i go along with her flirting (when she first started flirting w me i didn't pick up and she-#-made a joke abt how she likes to flirt w men bc shes gay but it looks like im too dense for that joke (said it a friendly way no really))#(so i didn't realize she was ACTUALLY flirting bc she would still do this to other guys as a joke)#and she “feels so stupid for letting herself be led on by me” and a bunch of other bullshit#and expected me to comfort her while this was going on#which i did bc i didn't know what else to do#and she decided to take THAT as a mixed signal ig and tried to pet me#so i got away from her and got her some water and asked her to leave after she calmed down#and she started crying more but eventually left#and then like an hour later i start getting texts from our friends saying they couldnt believe i was so rude to her#and thought she was a transphobe and shoved her off of me when she just needed comfort#and so now everyone is refusing to talk to me until *i* apologize to *her*#i literally only have one irl friend now bc of this#fuck this shit#and i have fucking class tomorrow#fuck#this#shit
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ugh i have to start paying my student loans again in September
#i never should have gone to college they shouldn't have trusted me with money it's not a lot but like i was SEVERELY depressed#and did NOT realize and i made bad choices and now i owe a couple thousand dollars still even after all this time#even though i dropped out after a year#because they let me do the max amount of fuckin loan and were like 'ok here u go 18 year old have 5 thousand dollars' what a joke#and then i my depression hit like a train and i stopped going to class and was under academic probation#which made the school go 'ok you owe us 1000 dollars right now because we had to pay that to the government' which was a bad time#and i did not pay that so they TOOK ALL MY MONEY FROM MY BANK ACCOUNT which was also not a good time#and then sent that to collections and they hounded me for years until eventually that just....stopped? which is cool#anyway this was a weird rant sorry!!! i just regret being pressured into going to college when everyone already knew i was bad at school
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me: this term, I’m going to have my shit together, I’m going to be punctual and professional and ALL THE THINGS
also me: 20 mins late for my own class (as in a class I am teaching, which is upper-division) because I couldn’t figure out where the building was and then how to get inside it >_<
#i was also behind schedule bc of road construction but realistically that wouldn't have made a difference#if my autism brain wasn't like 'direction? what sorcery is that? we wander around until things looks familiar'#google maps eventually saved me but even the step by step directions were confusing for a bit... god#also my department kindly gave me back to back morning classes (which i prefer) and then placed them across campus from each other#which i didn't realize until today bc i couldn't remember where the buildings were spatially. lol#anghraine whines#rare breed of attack unicorn#ivory tower blogging
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unlabeled is a valid sexuality guys btw. in case you didn’t know
#like. do you KNOW how hard it is for some people to find a label? broooo#i spent years trying to figure myself out. and i JUST got there. and sometimes i still question it. i do know for a FACT that i am queer#and that’s enough#ive gone thru a lot of labels. eventually i settled on one i liked#but sometimes you just. never find it#there are a lot of labels out there guys. just go with ur gut#sometimes you don’t know your gender or who you like or if you even like people at all. and that’s okay!!#you dont have to KNOW yourself in and out to know that ur queer#like all the discourse makes me so pissedddf#bisexual lesbians? go wild actually. it’s all just words#but hating on people WITHIN the community??? not okay#aro people are queer#ace people are queer#i could talk a lot about queer identity actually.#but the discourse confuses me because why are you hating on another queer person for a label you dont like. we are a COMMUNITY#im having a very hard time putting words together.#its okay to be confused like WOW it’s very hard to know#some people are born knowing and some people will die not knowing. doesnt make you less queer#i didnt realize i was trans until uhhh sixth grade? i mean i knew i never fit in but i never had the words to say it#bro i am RAMBLING. but who cares actually this is MY blog. i post what i want#dont let people discourage you. especially not people who say ‘oh youre just confused’ uhh yeah. 1: im confused why its ur business#and 2: this isnt easy. it is Hard to look inside urself and try to figure it out.#its okay at the end of the day if u dont know who u are. if you feel like you dont fit in? you dont conform to traditional gender roles?#congrats! ur queer!#and i love the word queer. its so all encompassing of everything ive ever felt#i am strange and i am gay and trans and autistic and all of this makes up ME! i am queer and i am queer and i know this about myself#i do not fit into a lot of spaces so i make my own space. and i’ll let people in because i know how hard it is to have nowhere to go!#any kind of queer person is welcome here#i dont care about controversy i dont care if other people dislike the way you label yourself i dont care if you dont know yet
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literally consumed by thoughts abt my freaks .
#theyre giving me sooo much inspo for the religious aspects of my world which. its kind of a feedback loop bc these ckncepts were already#vaguely there but i was iffy on them BUT my freaks r inspiring me 2 make them more concrete.. its all coming 2gether.#i think maybe there will be only 2 like Primary goddesses. names pending... but see. well teehee. ive got it all worked out ok in my head#basically one is life the other is death Easy we get it. so basically the gidt is when you die. sad. rip. first.of all. but anyways#rhen your soul is like there and then un reaper comes 2 get u so u go and then yr in the underworld OMG THE GUY FROM FNV IS FROM KY?#SHUT UP NVM THE GUY FROM KY IS FROM KY YESSS YESSSS Y3SSSSS YESSSSSSS#AWESOME. FUCK YEAH GO BIG BLUE GO BIG BLUE GO BIG BLUE YESSSSSSS#anyways. sorry#um. what was i on about KRBRJGBDKNF the wildcat coursed through my veins...#oh right..soooo in the underworld your soul sort of hangs around until its time 4 u to be reincarnated. n then indeed u do get reincarnated#immm debating. bc like. Obviously ... population grows#so im debating on if like. Can new souls be created. or should it hust be that the souls sort of... split in 2 on occasion. sighhh. i have#2 think abt it...but anyways yes. so you have reapers who take your soul when u die AND reapers who deliver souls to babies So that they r#people.. teeheed. but basically originally deathgoddess managed both bc shes the older sister and lifegoddess was just fucking about up top#having a greag time like. creating squirrels and trees and shit. but then people keep on dying and getting born and it gets too much#so dg basically tricks her sister into coming to the underworld. method pending...#but yeah.. eventually lg escapes But realizes that she can only stay up top for half of a day. and this is why day and night existtt we get#it... but yeah now she manages the delivery of souls and dg manages dead ones.#and im imagininggg another girl whos sortnof a scribe/chronicler for all the souls originally inspired by geshtinanna from sumerian myth.#bc originallyyy i was thinking abt having my guys be originally from sumer... but now that theyre in my fantasy world im judt gonna take#inspo. bc also it felt kind of weird to just be like. taking actual sumerian religion ykwim. but yeah#dg and lg are also inspired by ereshkigal and inanna. Obviously lmao. but im gonna tweak them quite a bit#oh anwhays. my 2 freaks i think ive mentioned them. Basicallyyt they were sooo in love abd then Aur naur they doid... sad..... so then they#get 2 the underworld they hang out theyre happy and then lg is like Ok time 4 u to get reincarnated and theyre like yeyyyyy and then theyre#supposed to be put on seperate sides of the world. and probably would never meet so theyre like Actually fuck this ! and bust out#and then theyre judt On the run from the death authorities for the next few millenia#and they can possess ppl btw. so yeah now rheyre judt running ariund#but also theyre so divorced bc being one of two immortal beings. and having one other person whos immortal. You get sick of them so fast#so theyre very divorced and have literally thousands of years worth of shit to bitch about but they also do have crazy sex all the time#anddd theres like one specific reaper assigned to their case and well theyve got a weird gay thing with him too... so yeah
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