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#unless a sequel starts chewing on my brain

gumnut-logic · 4 months

Text

Okay

Have a little FishTank with a background of pissed off Scotty.

Many thanks to the amazing @onereyofstarlight for all her help on this and for putting up with my crazy as usual :D

It was supposed to be something and this is what happened. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

-o-o-o-

Virgil rolled his shoulders as he stepped out of the elevator and into the comms room. He wasn’t surprised to find Scott’s commander persona firmly and concisely flaying someone via hologram at the main desk. Virgil had no doubt that several heads would roll after this incident.

But he would field Scott later. Besides it was fair to let the person responsible reap their rewards.

A pissed off Commander Scott Tracy was a weapon of precise destruction.

For the moment, Virgil had two aims. He rolled his shoulders again. Maybe three. Some paracetamol wouldn’t hurt alongside the coffee.

Both would be needed to tackle his main priority.

His little brother Gordon.

Those four words made it hurt even more.

Because Gordon was his little brother and when some asshole threatened the Fish - no matter how adult his brother would ever be, he would always be their Little Fish - and then had the nerve to physically assault Gordon…

Virgil beat down his anger. Anger wasn’t what he needed right now. Scott had enough to cover the entire family and then some. What Virgil needed was to be calm and centred so he could be there for Gords.

Because despite having the military background, the tough exterior, and a strength of will that continued to stun Virgil with its ferocity, Gordon was…

Hell, he was Virgil’s little brother and while Scott eviscerated those responsible, Virgil had to make sure he was okay.

Beyond the obvious physical injuries.

The anger had to be stomped on again.

He jogged down the kitchen stairs and grabbed the paracetamol out of the medical kit stashed under the sink. He chugged it down with some coffee, probably hotter than it should be for the meds, but he needed both so that’s what he worked with.

Gords was lying on one of the loungers by the pool. It was odd to see him out there but not actually in the water. The sling holding a broken arm, the concussion, and black eye, hidden by convenient sunglasses, were reason enough.

As with all of Gordon’s injuries in the field, Virgil was fully prepared to find a way to enable his brother to get back into the pool as soon as possible.

It was a survival instinct, after all. A Fish out of water tended to be flammable and explosive - Virgil liked their villa in one piece and minus the pranks born of boredom or frustration.

But it would be a couple of days at least before Gordon could be let into the pool this time. The broken arm was fine, it was the head injuries that weren’t conducive to swimming.

Virgil stared out at his little brother a moment while downing the remains of his coffee. Food was likely out of the question, but Gords might be able to manage a light drink, get some simple sugars and energy into him.

Turning back to the kitchen, he rustled up some tropical fruit juices, coconut cream and ice, dropping a splash of cranberry into the mostly yellow and orange concoction. A small smile and Virgil dug out one of his brother’s little cocktail umbrellas to give it the Gordon-pizazz it required.

He even made one for himself, put both of them on a tray, along with a small bowl of brightly coloured barley sugars.

Holding the tray steady, Virgil stepped softly out onto the patio and bee-lined casually in his brother’s direction.

The dark sunglasses glanced up. “Virg, I’m fine.”

Virgil ignored him, sliding the tray onto the small table next to Gordon. Not saying anything at all, Virgil grabbed the nearest empty lounger and dragged it over, dumping himself into it with a sigh.

He claimed his drink and fiddled with the umbrella. They reminded him of his fish brother, they really did.

And the drink was cool on his coffee-blasted throat.

Nothing was said for a long moment.

“Scott toasting the GDF?” Gordon didn’t even look at Virgil.

“More like roasting, after skinning and gutting.”

“Perhaps we should put warning labels on our uniforms. Warning: Commander will go medieval on your ass if you ever lay a finger on any member of International Rescue.”

“Family.”

Gordon groaned. “Way to serious a perfectly good pun, bro.”

Virgil shrugged and his shoulders ached. “It was a serious incident.”

“Yeah.” The word was mostly breath and ever so resigned. His brother looked away, out towards the sea.

“How are you feeling?”

A sigh. “As I said, I’m fine.”

Virgil sipped at his drink. “You don’t look fine.”

Gordon shifted where he sat. “What do you expect?”

“No expectations.”

His brother scoffed and turned back to looking at the ocean. There was nothing but breeze, birds and the waves for a very long moment.

“No, I didn’t expect it all.”

“Expect what?”

“The good guy to be such an asshole.”

Virgil didn’t comment, sipping his drink and waiting…

“They are supposed to help us. Supposed to be us. I didn’t expect him to do that. I would never put my life above so many. I’m in this because I believe in what we do!” Gordon’s uninjured arm was pointing and gesticulating not unlike their biggest brother inside. Virgil was often struck by how Scott and Gordon were so similar, yet so different. “We are the ones with the skills, the equipment and the vow to do everything we can to help people out of dangerous situations. There were families, Virg! Little kids! And he was willing to sacrifice them all.”

“You did good, Gords, you know that.”

“I should have done better.” Gordon’s good hand balled into a fist. “I should have seen it coming. Should have seen beyond the uniform. Should have hit him harder!”

Virgil turned on the lounger and let his feet touch the concrete so he could reach over and place a hand on Gordon’s leg. “You did everything you possibly could. None of us expected betrayal, much less from the GDF.” He drew in a breath. “It will be fixed.”

Gordon scoffed. “Of course, it will be fixed. With both Scott and John on their asses, they’ll be lucky there is any GDF left by the time they’re finished.” Gordon wilted just a little. “I hate it when you guys have to do that. Scott doesn’t need any more grey hairs, and Johnny shouldn’t have to skirt the law. I should have handled it better.”

Virgil stared at his little brother. “What John does with the law is not your responsibility.” Though Virgil would need to check on his space brother. John was as pissed as Scott. Maybe they should have a movie night tonight with all the junk food to go with it. Drag John down, corner Scott, and get the lot of them to sit down and take a breather. A few hugs would definitely not go astray either. Some reassurance that Gords was still here. “And Scott is going to kick ass regardless. That GDF officer had no right to intervene on our rescue and then to put his life above all the others he was meant to save…” Virgil let the sentence hang and he fought down his rage and outrage again. He swallowed. “You did what you always do, Gordon.” His eyes latched onto those dark sunglasses. “You did us proud.”

The sunglasses stared at him a moment. “You okay?”

“I will be.” Once his brothers were okay.

“Virg?”

Virgil slid off the lounger and onto his knees, holding his arms out a little. “C’mere.”

Gordon rolled his eyes, but smiled as Virgil enveloped him in a hug.

It was for Virgil as much as Gordon.

To find a GDF officer on the train carriage had been a blessing at first. The man had taken charge, liaised with IR, and set people at ease. But once IR made it onto the scene and Gordon, and the rescue rig, arrived to start getting people out, the man has changed.

Sure, it was a perilous situation and yes, the train could have dropped any moment despite Two securing it with grapples. But nothing excused the man’s conduct.

He had thrown fellow passengers aside and demanded to be rescued first. Gordon, of course, said no. IR had its priorities and not only was the man a trained GDF officer, but fit and healthy, and, if the emergency became more dire, he would be more likely to survive a more physical rescue attempt. Unlike the elderly and the children on that train.

And hell, the man had taken a pledge to serve and protect.

None of them had expected anger from the man, much less physical violence. He grappled with Gordon, determined to board the rescue rig first.

Gordon was well trained and an expert in self defence. However, the dynamics changed when you were hanging over an empty chasm that ended in certain death.

Gordon was thrown from the train and it was one of the worst moments in Virgil’s life. Yes, his brother was tethered, thank god, but the carriage was precarious, moving with the sudden change in weight distribution, and tangling with the safety line. Both Gordon and the rig had been dragged down with the train, forcing Two to compensate. Alerts screamed as the grapples securing the carriage strained with the sudden shift.

Virgil’s voice still ached from his yelling his brother’s name.

And the lack of an answer.

It had been Virgil who shimmied down the rescue rig cable, desperate to locate Gordon with John worrying in his ears.

He had found his brother upside down with a massive dent in the side of his helmet, faceplate cracked, unconscious.

Virgil retrieved and secured him in the rescue rig.

Then it was Virgil who had to face the rogue GDF officer. Virgil, who was considered the gentle giant who wouldn’t hurt a soul.

Virgil, who physically picked up the yelling man and, despite his struggles, strapped him into the rescue rig in a very specific unable-to-move way. Hence the aching shoulders and the bruises.

Twenty people were rescued from that train, the very last barely making it out as gravity and wind finally took their toll and John was forced to release Two, or lose them all.

Most of them were injured in some way, but none as much as his little brother.

The GDF officer spent the rest of the ride strapped in the rescue rig in Module Two.

Virgil managed to not say a single word to the man the entire time.

Gordon woke up swearing, halfway to the hospital, and didn’t let up until the doctors let him go under Virgil’s supervision several hours later.

Debrief had been explosive. Scott livid, John tight lipped and furious, Virgil…

He pulled his little brother in just that little bit tighter.

“Oof, Virg, I’m okay.” But Gordon didn’t let go.

Virgil released him a little, but rested his head on his brother’s non-injured shoulder and closed his eyes.

And tried to convince himself of Gordon’s words.

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #virgil tracy #gordon tracy #scott tracy #nuttyfic #fishtank #there were supposed to be more hugs in this #it was supposed to be a giftfic but isn't good enough #eh it is what it is #at least it is no longer a wip #unless a sequel starts chewing on my brain #which is always a possibility #after all Scotty is not happy #John is livid #and Virgil is a long smoldering mass of anger

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bosspigeon · 3 years

Note

Adam versus that most evil of foes...the office printer?

two glass houses, twenty stones

Pairing: M!Detective/Adam du Mortain Word Count: 1711 Summary: Having recently learned that he is the target of a power-hungry vampire who wants to experiment on him because of his “special blood” (oh, yeah, and vampires are real, apparently), Detective Arlo Priestley deals with the aftermath. The aftermath, of course, including one Adam du Mortain and his sparkling personality.

So... I don’t even know what to say anymore. I get completely innocuous prompts and they become something COMPLETELY different than what i had in mind. so, uh, hope you enjoy an Arlo Character Study with a side of Printer Shenanigans! This takes place in Book 1, shortly after the detective finds out about, uh, everything. I had fun playing the unreliable narrator with Arlo! And I have a fun idea for a sequel that’s Adam’s POV! Title is from Type O Negative’s “I Don’t Wanna Be Me.”

“You can, uh, sit down if you’d like,” Arlo offers, picking at the chipped polish on his thumb.

Adam hardly glances at him, keeping his attention on the window that overlooks the rest of the police department. “I am fine standing,” he says shortly. It almost seems like he’s determined to not look directly at the detective at all.

Arlo winces a bit, blowing a loose strand of hair out of his face. “Yeah, sure. That’s fine too,” he mumbles, looking down at his pile of reports. He brushes the accumulated black paint chips he’s shed in his anxious fidgeting aside. He’ll have to paint his nails again soon, they’re looking rather ragged, almost to the point he can bite them again. He’s been trying to stop, he knows it’s sort of gross, but still…

He furrows his brow and starts thumbing through reports, absently flicking through his color-coded tabs that help keep him marginally organized even when his “system” doesn’t really work for anyone but him. He calls it improvisational. Verda calls it “slapdash.”

He frowns, chewing on his lower lip and clicking his tongue when he notes his color system is out of order, and that one of the red tabs is missing. His eyes flicker up when he hears Adam shift slightly, but the vampire still isn’t looking at him, so he focuses back in, counting through reports again. He sighs and rolls his eyes, turning to his computer and pulling up his group chat with Tina and Verda.

big-depeche-mood: Tina, did you take my copy of Mrs. Holt’s police report?

big-depeche-mood: And why did you change my display name again?

BubblegumB!tch: how do u know i did it? why do u always blame me? 😥

big-depeche-mood: Because Verda has no reason to care about Mrs. Holt claiming her ex kidnapped the dog when they separated.

big-depeche-mood: And if you mean the display name, you’re the only one with admin privilege, because you made this chat.

BubblegumB!tch: i am being unfairly targeted 😭😭😭

BubblegumB!tch: im taking this to HR

DoctorDILF: HR has found no evidence to support this claim.

DoctorDILF: Really, Tina?

big-depeche-mood: Just tell me if I need to print another copy, please.

BubblegumB!tch: 👉👈

Arlo rolls his eyes and minimizes the window so he can start the task of going through his backlog to find the digital copy of the original report. Once he’s found it and sent it to the printer, he pushes himself upright, groaning as his spine pops in several places

Adam finally, finally turns to look at him. “Where are you going?” he snaps.

Arlo flinches, clenching his jaw to bite back the nasty retort burning on his tongue like acid. “To the printer,” he grits out, jerking his hand towards the window. “Literally twenty feet away. So unless you plan to go get that report for me, let’s just hope the megalomaniacal vampire that wants to use me as a lab rat doesn’t decide to snatch me from a police station in broad daylight.”

Seems he didn’t bite it back hard enough after all.

Adam recoils, like he always seems to when he realizes he's stepped directly on Arlo's nerves. He feels a little guilty for snapping, but he’s had more than enough of being treated like an unruly toddler. He wants to snidely suggest Adam see about requisitioning a bloody leash for him, but he snatches up a pen and starts furiously clicking it until he can calm himself down instead. Adam’s lip twitches, and Arlo clicks faster.

Adam turns sharply on heel and stalks out the door, slamming it behind him so hard the window rattles. Arlo is just grateful it hasn’t broken.

He sinks back into his chair and rolls his eyes skyward, dragging his hands down his face and wondering what the hell he’s done to deserve this whole situation. It’s bad enough he knows there’s some mad scientist vampire wanting to experiment with his freakish blood, but being shut in the same room as Adam for multiple hours a day when the man won’t even look at him, much less talk to him, makes nerves squirm under his skin and sets his whole body on edge. Unfortunately for the both of them, when Arlo gets nervy, it gets much harder for him to temper what comes out of his mouth.

He melts into his chair a little more, ignoring the pings from his computer that are probably Verda trying to convince Tina to change his display name back, and Tina reacting by changing it to increasingly ridiculous things. He just closes his eyes and focuses on breathing for a bit, trying to remember a single thing from his anger management classes from years ago when his brain is still buzzing with a squirming twist of irritation and guilt, a desperate need to apologize warring with the urge to snap and unload every frustration this whole thing has got knotted up inside him.

It's some sort of cosmic joke that Adam occupies so much of his attention, when Adam seems like he can't wait until he can get as far away from Arlo as possible.

He's just pretty, Arlo tells himself. Remember the last time you let someone pretty get you all stupid? Maybe remember what you learned from that.

He almost falls out of his chair when he opens his eyes to see Adam in the doorway, his shoulders so taut they're making Arlo's hurt just looking at them.

Maybe stop looking at them, idiot.

He forces his eyes up and is confronted with perhaps one of the most bewildering things he's ever seen.

Adam du Mortain, stoic, no-nonsense, terminally brooding Adam du Mortain, is standing just outside Arlo’s office, looking almost... sheepish. Arlo has to blink a few times to make sure he’s not seeing things. He’d almost say he’s imagining things, but at this point he’s so familiar with Adam’s general stone-faced demeanor that any sort of change to it is almost glaringly obvious. The scrunch of his eyebrows, the twist of his mouth, the almost painful stiffness of his posture, as if he’s pointedly trying to look as unaffected as possible and failing spectacularly. Arlo’s a detective, and while he doesn’t consider himself an expert at reading people, he’s still fairly decent at it. Adam, from time to time, can be pretty easy to read, but especially when he’s trying not to be.

Maybe Arlo’s been watching him a bit too closely.

“Uh,” he starts, already cringing internally at himself, “what’s up?”

Adam is silent for a moment, and then he exhales sharply through his nose, as if he is trying to calm himself down. Arlo’s nerves immediately ratchet up a few notches. “There is an issue with your printer,” he says.

Arlo blinks. “Oh. Um, I didn’t think you’d actually—” He bites his tongue when Adam’s brows furrow harder. “Let’s go have a look, shall we?” he offers instead, standing up. He hesitates to approach the door until Adam takes a step back to allow him through unimpeded. He lets Arlo lead the way and Arlo tugs his braid over his shoulder so he can twist it between his hands, because there is something a bit unnerving about Adam behind him, silent but radiating a tension Arlo can almost feel. It’s likely his imagination, considering his annoying awareness of the man, but still.

Arlo sees the problem almost immediately upon arriving at the little alcove that houses the station’s printer. The top cover for the document feeder seems to have been pulled off entirely. He turns to give Adam a bewildered look.

“The paper jammed,” Adam says stiffly.

“Yeah,” Arlo replies, “it does that sometimes.” He lifts the cover and turns it over in his hands, to see that, yes, the little plastic hinges that attach the feeder to the tray are entirely broken off. He frowns a little. Adam is so tense next to him, so still, Arlo wonders if he’s even breathing. “I can just ask Verda if I can send it to his, then see about calling someone for repairs.” He snags a sharpie from Tina’s desk and pops open one of the other trays to pull out a blank sheet of paper so he can write a quick “Out of Order” sign and slap it on top.

Adam still hasn’t moved, staring at the printer as if it has somehow personally offended him.

“It’s fine, Adam,” Arlo insists quietly, stepping a bit closer with his hands raised, though he doesn’t dare to touch. “Really. It’s a shitty old printer. I bet the second I let Tina know, she’ll go pester Doug until he calls his dad about it. We’ll have a shiny new one in no time.” He offers a wry little smile. “Say what you like about nepotism, but it has its perks.”

That doesn’t seem to help in the way Arlo hoped it would, because Adam raises an eyebrow and gives him a sharp look that has him shrinking back. “I am surprised you have that attitude, Detective.” He doesn’t have to say he’s disappointed, Arlo can hear it loud and clear and hates that it bothers him so much.

He steps back and turns away so Adam doesn’t see the look on his face before he can smooth it over. “Well, it’s the reason I’m here, isn’t it?” he can’t help but snark. “And it’s the only reason you’re here too. Explains a lot about your attitude, I suppose.” No wonder Adam’s been so bloody sour about all this. Must be a pain to have to babysit your boss’s kid because she said so. His silence on the subject speaks more than he could hope to.

More than anything Arlo wishes Rebecca could just go back to ignoring him. Things were a lot less complicated then.

Shoulders tight enough to rival Adam’s, Arlo heads towards the stairs to the basement. “I’m going to get that report,” he tosses over his shoulder, trying and failing to sound casual as Adam’s eerily quiet footsteps begin to follow him. “I’ll try not to get kidnapped on the way,” he adds under his breath.

The way Adam’s footsteps falter tell him he wasn’t quiet enough.

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whump-tr0pes · 4 years

Text

HB4-24/Whumptober day 2

This is a series. Start here, continued from here.

This is a sequel to Honor Bound, Honor Bound 2, Honor Bound 3.

AO3

Masterlist

Content warning: dissoci@tion, PTSD, non-sexual nudity (I’ll tag nsfw just because), panic attack, discussion of death, mild self-harm (using pain from injury to self-punish), self-blame, parental neglect, self-image issues with scars

“Shit.”

The person in Isaac’s arms wormed his way out of his grasp. Isaac wailed brokenly and curled into a tight ball.

The blankets were pulled up over his naked body, and he lay still and senseless under them. There was a rummaging sound, thumps as if someone was stumbling around the room, a rustle of fabric.

A door opened. Someone walked in, but Isaac was alone.

“What happened?”

“G-Gray, I… He had a nightmare. It was… really, really bad. He woke up crying and I… tried to calm him down, I don’t know how to do this, I tried to do what you do with the breathing but he couldn’t breathe and it didn’t help…”

“Gavin, could… could it be possible that you being here…? Do you think it might be better if…?”

“I don’t know. He said it was about his mother, and… and Rosa, he said, she’s the one who kicked him out…”

“Ah. That’s… something he’s never really talked about with us before.”

“Why is it coming up now? Why isn’t he… I mean, shouldn’t he be having nightmares about—”

“He’s safe now. When the brain senses that the danger has passed, it begins to release its trauma. It’s a very normal reaction.”

“But he’s… it’s bad, Gray…”

“I understand. Would you like to stay here? Or do you need some time to yourself?”

“No. No. I want to stay here. I want to… to help… I want to learn how to do this right.”

“I have no doubt you were doing the right thing, Gavin. There’s no perfect way to handle this.”

Creaks on the floor. Then a dip on the bed where someone sat down. Isaac covered his head with his arms. Wishing he could disappear.

“Oh, um… d-don’t, don’t pull the blanket back. He’s… um… naked under, under there.”

A pause.

“I had no intention to, Gavin, but I appreciate the warning just the same.”

A gentle hand landed on Isaac’s shoulder. “Isaac?”

Isaac reached for the muscles that controlled his lips and tongue. He couldn’t quite find them.

“Isaac? Can you talk to me?”

Maybe if he was there, he could. But he couldn’t find his body.

“Isaac… nod your head if you can hear me.”

He felt around for those muscles. That, he could do.

“Good. Isaac, are you here right now? Or… somewhere else?”

Where is here?

I think I’m here.

“Huuumn.” He felt like he was speaking past a mouthful of clay.

“Hm. Does that mean you’re here in this room with me? Up north? Nod if that’s true.”

He nodded. His body felt light, like it was floating.

“Alright. Gavin said you had a nightmare. Can you realize that it’s not real, and you’re here right now?”

Those deaths were real. Those deaths are on me.

Isaac sobbed and turned his face against the mattress.

“Shh.” Fingers moved gently through his hair. It felt like he was being touched through a blanket over his head, but he could see light. The room. “Can you come back to your body now?”

Isaac lay frozen, suspended. Maybe.

“Isaac take some deep breaths.”

Where are the muscles for that?

Found them.

His chest moved, expanded. Distantly, he felt pain. Leaned into it. Leaned into the punishment.

“Good. Let it out.”

The air rushed out of him with a groan.

“Gavin, come here. Come sit with him. Isaac, breathe in, hold… Unless he doesn’t want to be touched – let it out, Isaac, there you go – having a hand on him can be very grounding. Isaac, breathe in… I’m sorry, I should have asked if I could touch you. Is that alright?”

Isaac nodded weakly.

“Alright. Can Gavin touch you?”

“P-pluuuh.”

“…please? Please yes, or please no?”

“Mmmn.”

“He can’t answer, so it’s a no for now. Just be there for him. Try not to get overwhelmed.”

“I’m sorry, I just… got scared…”

“It’s alright. It’s hard to watch someone you love hurt like this. Isaac, keep taking those big, deep breaths. There you go.”

“But it’s so… easy. For you.”

“Let it out. No, it’s not. It’s hard, and it hurts. Every time.”

“Then how—”

“I have the benefit of decades of experience, Gavin. And professional training. Just remember, you don’t have to do it perfectly. Good. Keep breathing, Isaac.”

“But I messed it up—”

“You didn’t. And even if you do, that’s alright. He’ll forgive you. If you want to do this for the others, they’ll forgive you when you mess up, too. And he… I promise you, he will forgive you for your mistakes. He loves you, Gavin.”

Silence.

“Isaac, you’re doing so well. Can you talk to me?”

“Um…” He could. Everything came crashing down again.

“Isaac—”

He shuddered and heaved a sob against the mattress. “M-my, fault it’s, my, my fault, I can’t…”

“Shh. It’s not. Keep breathing. Just keep breathing. It’s alright.”

“M-mom, she, she, I… just wanted…” The core of him shattered under the weight of his agony. He shivered and convulsed against the pain. “I just wanted her to hold me!”

“I know,” Gray said. Their hand found his and squeezed. “I know.”

“And she… didn’t! I… a-asked her to, and she just… she didn’t want to touch me, didn’t want to look at me. I just… I can’t…”

“You deserved that comfort, Isaac. I’m so sorry she didn’t give it.”

“I… my dad was gone and my mom… I didn’t know how to… to make it better, I just…” His throat closed around a sob. “I just, just wanted her to hold me!”

“That sounds so painful, Isaac. That sounds… d-devastating.”

“I was, um…” Isaac choked and coughed hard, the sheets wet with tears and everything else that was dripping off his face. “I was just…” His voice tightened to a whisper. “I was alone.”

“I know you were,” Gray said, their voice pitched low, but still trembling.

“I just wanted her to love me again.” Isaac shuddered, the feeling coming back to his hands. His body ached like he’d been beaten.

“Isaac… is that something you would want now? Just to be near us, for us to just sit with you? For us to hold you?”

Isaac whimpered and covered his face with his hand. “I… y-yes. Please…?”

“Alright. Let’s get some, ah, pants on first.”

“Where’s Gavin?”

“Right here, Isaac.” A different hand, running down the inside of his forearm. Gray’s hand withdrew, and Gavin’s hand replaced it to lace his fingers through Isaac’s.

Isaac peeled his eyes open. He hadn’t even realized they were closed.

Gavin’s face swam above him, with Gray’s beside it. Gavin looked ready to burst into tears. He was clothed, now. Gray’s face was pinched where their calm mask couldn’t cover their pain.

“P-pants,” Isaac croaked. “Sure. Um. Pants.” He shivered, his scars suddenly burning with his shame. “And a shirt.” He pulled the blanket higher over his shoulder.

“I’ll give you some privacy for that,” Gray said quietly, and stood up with a groan, their joints creaking. “Ugh. I’ll be right out here when you’re, ah, ready.”

“Thanks,” Isaac said, scrubbing his face with his hand. The door clicked closed behind Gray.

Isaac cast his gaze around the room and it settled on Gavin, sitting on the bed, his hand still clasped with Isaac’s. Gavin was pale, his lips trembling, his eyes wide and filling with tears as Isaac watched.

“S-sorry,” Isaac said darkly.

Gavin huffed out a breath. “Don’t… please don’t.”

Isaac fell silent. Gavin gently pulled his hand away and stood from the bed. The mattress squeaked as he did.

“Let me get you the, uh…” Gavin laughed once, painfully. “…the sweats and shirt I think you were supposed to be wearing.”

Isaac sat up and groaned. He reached for a tissue from the box on the nightstand and blew his nose. Then he used another to wipe his eyes. The used tissues went into the trash can in the corner.

“Here.” Gavin held out the pants and shirt for Isaac to put on.

The shirt went on first, covering Isaac’s scars. Gavin chewed his lip as Isaac pulled the shirt down around his waist. Then he slid the pants on, standing briefly to pull them up before collapsing back onto the bed. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely push himself back against the headboard. He pulled his knees in tight to his chest.

Gavin went to the door and gestured to Gray to come in. As Gray walked back in, they briefly clasped Gavin’s shoulder and squeezed. Gavin shivered as he closed the door behind them.

Gray sat down next to Isaac, groaning as they leaned back against the headboard. “Pass me that pillow,” they said heavily, just a hint of a laugh in their voice. “I’m too old to be sitting without lumbar support.”

Isaac numbly passed Gray his pillow and watched as they tucked it behind their back. “That’s better,” they croaked. “But damn if these beds aren’t ideal for those of us with back pain.”

“They’re alright,” Isaac said, his voice flat.

Gray paused, their mouth in a hard line. “Hm. They’re not the worst,” they conceded softly. They gestured to Gavin. “Have a seat. On his other side.”

Gavin walked around the foot of the bed, his eyes flicking between Isaac and Gray like he’d be chased from the room. He sat down beside Isaac, far enough away that their legs didn’t touch.

Gray put an arm around Isaac’s shoulders and pulled him tight against their side. After a moment, Isaac blinked tears out of his eyes and laid his head on Gray’s shoulder.

“There you go,” Gray said softly. “Just… keep breathing, Isaac. You’re safe. You’re north. You’re safe.”

Isaac’s lips trembled and he whimpered, the words feeling like a physical blow. “But my… mom, and Jordan, Rosa…”

Gray let out a slow breath between their lips. “I… I’m so sorry they hurt you like that. I’m so sorry that you… weren’t protected… the way you should have been.”

Gavin sat silent beside Isaac. Isaac’s skin felt ice-cold, drawn to Gavin’s warmth.

The idea of reaching out across the abyss of the two inches between them was more terrifying than the nightmare.

“You were dealt… frankly, you were dealt a shit deal, Isaac,” Gray said, their voice pitched low. “It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. I wish I…” Isaac watched Gray’s free hand curl into a fist where it sat in their lap. They pulled Isaac closer and gently kissed his forehead. “I wish I could have done something about it.”

“I wish I could have done a lot of things,” Isaac whispered. Gray fell silent.

They sat there together for a moment, the loudest sound in the room the sound of Isaac’s pulse pounding in his head, beating wild and fast at first, then slower, slower. He found his breathing matching Gray’s, slow and even. The tension in him slowly eased. The pain in his chest faded until it was only the ache of each breath to his bruised ribs.

He ached for Gavin to be close to him, too.

“G-Gavin?” he whispered and his stomach lurched.

A sniffle. “Yeah?”

“Um…” Isaac swallowed the lump in this throat, swallowed the terror, forced it down to where it could be crushed and dealt with. “I want you, um… closer.”

Gavin let out a breath all at once and moved closer so his side pressed against Isaac’s. He gently kissed Isaac’s shoulder, his cheek, his temple. His hand laced with Isaac’s again.

They both warmed him, Gavin and Gray, body heat and concern finding their way beneath Isaac’s skin. It slowed his heart rate further. Steadied it. He pulled in a deep breath.

“Good, Isaac,” Gray murmured, and rubbed his shoulder. Gavin moved his thumb in slow circles against Isaac’s hand.

Deeper and deeper, Isaac pulled air into his lungs, blew it out through his lips, picturing the darkness inside him flying out like bits of ash from a fire.

He was still burning, on the inside.

“Why this?” Isaac croaked, his throat sore from crying.

Gray leaned away slightly, their arm never loosening on his shoulders. It pressed against some cane marks, but Isaac didn’t care. “Why not this?” Gray said, sounding almost… surprised.

Isaac swallowed, and his mouth tasted dry as chalk. “I mean… if I’m going to, to freak out about something, why not, um… the…” Gavin’s hand seemed to grow colder in his. “Why not Fort Meyers? Or Sam getting shot? Or… fuck, why not have nightmares about, about…” He trembled and fell silent.

Having nightmares about Gavin torturing me makes more fucking sense than this.

Isaac’s hand tightened in Gavin’s, and he took Gavin’s other hand in his.

Gray slowly pulled in a breath. “Why not this?” they said evenly. “You think they aren’t related?”

Isaac huffed out a bitter laugh. “They’re not related at all, Gray,” he said, shame fluttering in his stomach.

“Hm.” Gray lay their head back against the wall. “If I may, Isaac,” they said gently, “Your history of trauma and abuse falls… rather nicely into place with the trauma of watching your family tortured in front of you.”

Gavin flinched. Isaac nosed against Gavin’s hair and kissed him on the forehead.

“The brain doesn’t decide to react to one thing immediately after it happens. It’s not… logical, the way we think of it. But… even if we can’t find a reason that makes sense to us, fact is your brain is bringing this up for a reason. It’s something that still needs to be processed.”

Bitterness rankled in Isaac. “How am I supposed to process something like that?” he snapped.

“With time,” Gray said gently. “And support from your family, who loves you.”

Isaac bit down on his tongue to hold in his retort. You wouldn’t love me if you knew what I was.

Gray laughed once, sadly. “Isaac, I’ve known you for five years. I’ve lived, run, and fought beside you for that entire time. You think I can’t tell when you think I’m bullshitting you?”

He couldn’t hide. He couldn’t fucking hide, he couldn’t hide what he was.

“No,” he said, the word grinding its way out of him.

“Good,” Gray said with a nod, and laid their head back again. They were silent for a long time.

“Fact is, Isaac,” Gray said, startling Isaac out of a sleep that had very nearly claimed him, “I can’t make the decision for you. To heal, I mean. You have to make it, or not at all. But…” He felt Gray nudge Gavin with the hand resting on Isaac’s shoulder. “You’re surrounded by people you mean the world to, and would die for you, just like you would for them. Let us see you every once in a while. Even when it hurts. Even when you think it’ll drive us away.”

“What if it’s nothing but hurt?” Isaac whispered, his throat too tight to speak.

Deep inhale, deep exhale. Gray wet their lips. “It won’t be all hurt forever,” they said, finally. “There’s so much more to you than hurt, Isaac.”

Gavin leaned in closer, resting his chin against Isaac’s shoulder. Isaac turned his head and kissed Gavin’s forehead, his hair, the scar across the bridge of his nose. Gavin relaxed against Isaac.

“We’re here, Isaac,” Gray said gently. “Always. We’re a family, and we’re here.”

“For you, Isaac,” Gavin breathed. ��We’re here for you.”

Tears rolled down Isaac’s cheeks. “I…” It felt like a concession, like giving up the high ground. Walking willingly out of concealment. “I know,” he said, painfully.

“Hm.” Gray’s free hand rubbed up and down Isaac’s shin. Gavin collapsed against his side, his body relaxing more and more until he began to breathe deep and heavy, his head lolling on Isaac’s shoulder.

The third time Isaac’s head bobbed forward, Gray gently pushed themself up off the bed and stood, groaning softly as they straightened. Isaac’s eyes opened and he blearily looked around.

“Will you be alright?” Gray whispered, the dark circles under their eyes suddenly looking so much deeper. I wonder how much they’ve slept in the past few days with us being here?

“Um, y-yeah,” Isaac said thickly. He glanced at Gavin where he lay slumped against him, asleep.

“Alright. I’ll go back to bed, if you’re okay.”

“Yeah,” Isaac said, looking around, dazed. “Yeah, um. Sleep.”

“Okay. Good.” Gray leaned towards the nightstand. “Can I get the lamp?”

“Yeah,” Isaac sighed, already maneuvering so he could lay down. Gavin’s head jerked up off of Isaac’s shoulder, and he relaxed against a moment later.

“Mmn,” Gavin mumbled, and crumpled into a heap on vaguely his side of the bed.

“Good night, Isaac,” Gray croaked as they snapped the lamp off. The floor creaked under their feet as they walked out of the bedroom. The door shut behind them with a soft click.

Isaac stretched out on the bed, his eyes swollen and red, his throat raw, his face stained with dried tears. He rolled closer to Gavin. Gavin immediately pulled him tight into his embrace. Isaac was asleep within minutes.

Continued here

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @whatwhumpcomments, @cursedscribbles, @whumpywhumper, @stxck-fxck, @omega-em-z-02, @whumps-the-word, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @justplainwhump, @moose-teeth, @slaintetowhump, @finder-of-rings, @inky-whump, @thatsthewhump, @orchidscript, @insanitywishes, @this-mightaswell-happen, @newandfiguringitout, @whumpkitty, @pretty-face-breaker, @cinnamonflavoredhugs, @inaridriscoll, @im-just-here-for-the-whump, @endless-whump

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3pirouette · 3 years

Text

Fic: An Experimental Design (5/?)

Title: An Experimental Design

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: Sequel to “What Number?”, also prompted from Steggy Bingo Bash Prompts. Takes place about a week after that fic.

A/N: So, despite my realization (with the help of a fabulous anon) that once Bucky falls off the train there’s only a day to maybe a week of time that passes before Steve takes down the Valkyrie, I’ve decided that in this fic it’s way more time, and that’s super important to the plot. Bucky went down months ago, at least 6. Please just go with it.

Also, this is now rated EXPLICIT. if you’re not into adult content, well… believe me, you’ll know when to stop. (But if you’re already here, I’m pretty sure you don’t care about adult content ;) )

Also, I REALLY need to know if some of your headcanons were right. Please tell me!!

Chapter 5: The Experiment

~*~

“We found about a third of a file from some other poor woman. Age, height, eye color don’t match Peg.” Howard chewed on his lip as he slid the file over to them. Steve, holding Peggy’s hand under the table, took the file and pushed it between them, flipping to the first page. “It’s an offshoot of something they’ve dubbed the Winter Soldier Project.” Steve eyes popped up in interest, but Howard just shook his head. “We haven’t found much else on that except the name and it involves a single male subject. At least for now.”

“Give us the short version,” Peggy said smartly, pulling her eyes away from the documents.

Howard sighed, wringing his hands together. “Well… it’s…” He started and stopped, looking anywhere but them.

Steve couldn’t hide the concern in his voice. “It’s that bad?”

Howard slumped back. “It’s not good.”

In her usual fashion, Peggy was still the most pragmatic in the room. “Then, out with it.”

“The uh, one page has a name on it: Project Anchor.” He sat tall again and pulled the file from them, looking for the right translated pages. “I don’t know how this works, so don’t ask. We’re missing massive amounts of data. And to be honest, I’m really only guessing at a lot of it.”

“Howard…” Steve prompted, forcing the man to look up at him.

He swallowed, finally looking his friends in the eyes. “It seems their Winter Soldier Project is akin to our Project Rebirth. Project Anchor was their way to… to keep their man under control.”

Peggy eyed him warily, “Keep the man under control? Then why experiment specifically on women?”

Howard rubbed his face, clearing his throat. He took a deep breath, gathered his courage, and looked Peggy in the eyes. “Because the woman was what was going to keep him under control. The anchor. They were trying to pair bond their subject to a woman. Create false love, or need, and then use her as collateral.”

Steve looked over at Peggy, taking her hand and squeezing tightly. “Give him a reason to stay in line.”

Howard nodded. “Exactly.” He scratched his head then laid three pages out before them, pointing. “This page refers to some kind of injection derived from their variant of the serum. Our linguistics guy says he thinks they’ve created some of these terms, because there aren’t clear translations. Best he can translate and I can tease out it works like some kind of bacteria or virus, bonding itself to cells through the subject’s body- specifically on the nervous system- which allows it to act as an irritant.” He shifted to the next page. “This talks about a two part process, but we haven’t been able to find anything about the second part, or even if they were able to get to it.” He pointed at the third page, eyes on Peggy. “This page describes the same kinds of pain you’re talking about, Peggy, but just the pain part. I don’t think they ever introduced their subject to their male counterpart, so she only ever felt pain.”

Despite Steve holding her hand, Howard could see Peggy’s anxiety ratchet up, her breathing get shallow as her heart rate started to go up with fear. “What happened to her, Howard?”

He stroked his mustache, trying to avoid saying, but he knew they’d read it for themselves. He gathered the papers and shuffled them together, slipping them back into the folder. “She died.” He coughed, folding his hands. “Supposedly they were going to do an autopsy, but we don’t have that page.”

“Well, what do you have?” Steve asked, his tone dark and eyes starting to narrow. “You’ve got to give us something to work with here, Howard!”

“You think I’m not trying to?” Howard shot back sharply. “If Erskine were still here we’d have a hope, a hope, of really understanding what’s going on. The cellular biology was all him. I’ve got a handle on it, but there is so much that I don’t know…”

“Well, you should!” Steve pounded his fist on the table. “We need more than this!”

“Steve!” Peggy, took her other hand, laying it on his shoulder, “he’s doing his best.”

Steve groused, eyes on Howard. “Well, it’s not good enough.”

“I’ve got that,” Howard said strongly, chin set as he pointed at Steve. Steve, still incensed, didn’t budge, but Peggy turned, interested. “You’re not like this, Steve. You’ve never raised your voice at anyone as long as I’ve known you unless they were Hydra and on the wrong side of your shield.” Howard shook his head and pulled out the paper from his pocket. “I haven’t shown anyone this.”

Peggy and Steve read the two and a half sentences; Peggy gripping Steve’s hand tighter. “Breeding?”

“They had to have more than that one woman and you, Peg. There had to be so much more research somewhere that got them to this point. I’m looking, and I can’t find it, but I know it. They’ve been developing and testing this for far too long for us to not notice.” He sighed. “Whatever’s in your body reacted to the serum in Steve. Maybe it was when you touched, or it had to be a body fluid transfer when you kissed or something to that effect. I don’t know yet, but it’s in you, too, Steve.” Howard looked sadly at his friend. “It apparently wasn’t enough to make the woman be in lust or love, to tug on this poor guy’s heartstrings ‘cause she was in jeopardy, they’re altering the male counterpart, too, to feel hyper aggressive and hyper protective.”

“Like animals in heat,” Peggy mused out loud, disturbed. Her chin wavered as she pieced it together. “They give their soldier a mate that he cares about, loves even, and then threatens her with pain and even death if he’s gone too long, all the while hyping up his system so…”

“So that he’ll do anything to guarantee her safety.” Steve hung his head, unable to look at Howard. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Howard said softly. “I think that’s the understatement of the year.”

Steve hung his head, running his free hand through his hair. “So, what do we do?”

Howard only frowned at them.

~*~

The small base dorm room meant for visiting ranking officials wasn’t the worst place she’d ever been, but the fact that she knew Steve was on the other side of the wall and they weren’t going to be allowed to see one another until she was writhing in pain was absolutely weighing on her mind.

She knew it was their only course of action. It didn’t mean she had to like it. She sat on the bed, thinking she should be happy that Howard at least had a lead as to what was going on, but it left her hollow. The what was bad enough, but the why was swirling in her brain.

They’d planned to introduce her to a man she didn’t know and bond her to him forever by rage and pain.

And potentially children they planned on weaponizing.

She wasn’t sure if it was better or worse that Steve had managed to touch her first.

~*~

It had only been an hour, but Steve was pacing like a caged tiger in the room next to Peggy’s.

He knew, deep down, Howard was right. He knew he hadn’t been behaving rationally when it came to Peggy since he’d brought her back. He should have made her go see Howard, shouldn’t have allowed her to hide for as long as she did.

But now, he could see it.

He could think back and realize there was more at work than just the love and care that had building withing him from the moment he met her. The drive, the desire to keep her safe reverberated in the back of his skull, fighting with the rational part of him. It felt like an animal was trying to claw its way out of himself.

He had to force himself to not pounce on the nurse who knocked on his door and came in with a smile, tasked with taking his vitals and drawing blood.

~*~

Four hours in, Howard stared at her as the nurse drew her blood. “It would be more helpful if we could take samples from you every hour, just like Steve, but you won’t recover as fast.”

Peggy nodded, looking away as the nurse filled the vials. “If I have to feel like a pincushion for a bit, just make it worth it.”

He nodded, pulling out a small notebook from his pocket. “Give me a rundown of your symptoms.”

“Fingertips and toes are starting to get numb, arms are achy, and my chest feels heavy.” She rubbed her arm as the nurse stepped back, watching as the woman pulled out a thermometer and blood pressure cuff.

“Zero to ten?” he asked without looking up.

“One.” She held her mouth open and let the nurse slide the thermometer in, taking around it. “Took much longer to start to come on this time. Usually, my fingers start to tingle as soon as I leave him.”

Howards eyebrows raised. “Interesting.”

~*~

Six hours and counting, and he didn’t want to eat. Didn’t feel hungry. Couldn’t concentrate. All he kept thinking about was that Peggy was on the other side of the wall and he couldn’t do a damn thing to help her.

Howard had stopped asking how he felt when he came in every hour, on the hour, mostly because he didn’t need to. Steve couldn’t stop himself from ranting at the man, a man who was his friend, for keeping them apart.

Even though he knew why they were doing it. Even though he understood exactly why it was so important they had real, tangible data about what was happening in his and Peggy’s bodies so Howard could find some way to fix or counteract it.

The only thing Steve found he was able to do was pace, keep moving, and try to burn off the anger and anxiety building up in him.

~*~

At eight hours in she was a four, little shocks of lightning through her body, everything hypersensitive, muscles starting to feel tight and painful, head swimming and aching. It was all she could do to sit up and talk to Howard when they came in to check on her. Though they didn’t draw blood every time, they still had her spit in a vile, checked her pulse and blood pressure, checked her temperature.

If Howard was finding anything, he was being tight lipped.

Peggy wasn’t sure if the anxiety of the experiment was ratcheting everything up, or of the knowledge that Steve was just on the other side of the wall made her feel more on edge.

She knew what happened to her at a 5, and at a 6, and once she hit a seven she wasn’t sure how long she could go without walking through that door.

~*~

Howard locked Steve’s door at hour nine, though he knew it wouldn’t stop him if he was determined. He locked Peggy’s door at hour eleven as her pain started creeping up exponentially faster. She could only tell him so much as her mind unfocused quickly as they talked, distracted by the agony she was feeling.

He could only run each test so fast, but the logs were filling up with data quickly. So quickly, he wasn’t going to have time to analyze it, but rather just keep running each test until he had all of it.

He had no idea what any of it meant yet.

~*~

Howard found her sitting on the floor, most of her clothes torn off until she was in just her slip, pressed against the wall.

“Peg?” he asked softly, shooing the nurse behind him back into the hallway.

“I’m right here,” he heard Steve’s voice through the wall, “I promise. I’m so close, Peg.”

“I don’t know how much more I can take,” she sobbed, the tears falling fast. “It hurts everywhere.”

“What are you at? How bad?”

“Eight,” she muttered, letting her forehead fall against the wall. “It’s an eight, but I know what’s coming.”

Howard slipped back out, sure she’d known he was there, but unwilling to eavesdrop anymore.

~*~

“You have to let her get to a ten!” Howard shouted at Steve. He hated that the man could hear her moans from his room, hated that Steve was forced to let her wallow like this, experiment or not.

“I don’t have to anything!” Steve yelled, moving forward.

Howard stepped back. Even though he was reasonably certain Steve wouldn’t hurt him, he wasn’t used to this side of the man. Howard, for his part, still didn’t back down, it was one of his more pigheaded traits. “Well, if you want me to figure out what’s wrong with her, you do have to.”

They heard Peggy moan through the wall, a pitiful, guttural sound. Howard had just come from there. Her eight was creeping up to a nine in record time.

Steve moved forward again, but this time Howard pressed himself up against the door, arms splayed out to try to keep Steve from leaving. “Just remember this, Steve: you go in there right now, we have to do this again. If you touch her before she gets to a ten, we have to do this to her again. Don’t make me do that. You know I don’t want to.”

Steve looked at him, eyes dark and angry, and paced away, growling in frustration.

“Just…” Howard took a deep breath, “Just try to hold it together for her, ok?” He opened the door, stopping halfway out. “Do it for her.”

~*~

Peggy couldn’t take it anymore. She’d tried to hold back, tried to stay quiet, but she couldn’t breathe when she buried her head into the pillow to muffle the cries. The pain had crept up on her fast, growing in a way she hadn’t experienced before. She couldn’t help the moans, had the let something try to get out with the screams.

She couldn’t come up with ideas and theories, not when her head was pounding like her skull was too small and her whole body ached with muscle pain and her joints felt like they were full of broken glass and there were electrical shocks everywhere through her.

“Tell me this is it, Peg,” Howard pleaded, kneeling at her bedside. “Just say ten. All you gotta say is ten and I can let this be over…”

She moaned as the nurse drew a vile of blood. The nurse and Howard both jumped when they heard the first bang against the wall.

Steve.

“Peg, just say ten. Then I can let him in.” Another bang shook the painting off the wall, the glass shattering on the floor. “We’ll be out of here and you two do whatever you need to do to make this right, ok?” Another crash, this time accompanied by the sound of the plaster cracking. “Just say ten, please?”

She curled into a ball on the bed, not reacting to the way the plaster was starting to chip or how Steve’s rhythm quickened as she writhed.

“Jesus,” Howard stood, rubbing his hands over his mouth. “I’m calling it. It’s a ten. She can’t even talk.”

The nurse was about to ask him to help her take Peggy’s blood pressure when the wall across from them boomed, a large crack running down the middle.

He grabbed her arm, pulling swiftly. “Nope. Out. You don’t want to be here for this.”

~*~

He didn’t know what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop.

There was a part of him that said the door is right there but there was another part of him, a bigger part of him, that needed to get to Peggy and he knew that she was just on the other side of that wall.

He’d listened, powerless, as she cried out for hours, as she tried to bear the pain herself when he was so close.

He’d sat on the floor, talking to her through the plaster until she couldn’t string sentences together anymore. He stayed there, feeling just a little bit closer to her, even when he’d heard Howard and the nurse lift her back into the bed.

He’d stood, faced the wall, and there was only one choice: through. So he’d punched it. And again, and again. It felt good to punch it, like there was something he was doing, something he could do, to make this better.

But punching wasn’t enough. It chipped the plaster and made a small hole, but he wasn’t going to get through the wall just by punching. He stepped back, took a deep breath, and fell against it, shoulder first.

He didn’t feel it, couldn’t feel anything, but smiled to himself when the plaster on his side started falling away, the wall bowed out. He pulled the chunks of plaster down, breathing heavy as he knew his mission was almost over. He was almost there. He took two steps back, and ran.

~*~

Steve crashed into Peggy’s room just as the door closed behind Howard. He skidded to a halt, plaster dust on him, broken glass and wall at his feet.

Peggy looked up from the bed, another cry falling from her lips as she curled in on herself.

He pulled at the collar of his t-shirt, ripping it off as he took two steps to the bed, falling to his knees and crawling up her body. Steve wasn’t thinking, only reacting, as he ripped the slip from her skin, baring her fully to him. He dropped down, pressing his bare upper body to hers, the touch of skin-to-skin pulsing through them like warm water rushing over them. Her arms clamped around him, holding him to her as his face rooted against her neck, licking and kissing the skin. “I’m here,” he mumbled against her neck. “I’m here.”

She could only concentrate on breathing, the press of him against her washing over her, soothing and igniting her at the same time. Pain slowly ratcheted down and started to move to needing and wanting as he kissed and licked along her collar bone, his hips rutting against hers as she tried to wrap her thighs around him.

She pulled him down, his weight pressing her into the mattress giving her just the tiniest bit more relief. Her breath caught when his lips found hers, his tongue already insistent and tasing her, despite her lazy, uncoordinated attempts to kiss him back. Her body didn’t feel like hers anymore, it felt heavy and weighted and like she was fighting to come back to life.

“What do you need?” he asked, dragging his lips to her ear to suck on her earlobe. “Tell me.” She didn’t know how to form words, couldn’t make her mouth do more than suck at the skin of his shoulder. She pulled him close, pushing her hands down over his back to his hips, clawing ineffectually at the waistband of his pants.

He knew what he wanted, knew what his body was screaming at him, what his body wanted him to take and how he wanted to do it, but he needed her to say it. Needed to know that despite everything that had happened to them, she wanted the same. He dragged his face back up, pulling away just inches to look at her.

Her eyes blinked open and her limbs tightened as he pulled away, the fear clear in her gaze that she thought he was trying to get away from her.

“Tell me,” he tried to whisper, tightening his embrace, but his voice was harsh and gruff.

Her chin wavered, the fear falling away as she tried to catch her breath. “You,” she finally breathed out. “All of you.”

His kiss was fierce, deep and demanding and she felt it set her heart beating harder. He pressed up on one elbow, pushing the other hand between them and fumbling with his belt and pants. She tried to help him, pushing with her feet as he pushed down with his one hand, his pants and boxers moving stiltedly down his legs at the same time.

His pants caught at his ankles, bunching around the boots he never took off. He moved to stand but Peggy held tight, moving more from muscle memory than from conscious thought as she flipped him over, body pressed tight to his.

She shook as she pressed up on her knees, hand reaching between them to wrap around his length, hot and hard in her palm. She watched him struggle to stay still under her, felt his hands flex and relax against her skin, the grip tightening only barely perceptibly. She moved slowly, eyes locked on his, as she lifted her hips and shifted him into position, bit her lip as she sank down on him and moaned.

She threw her head back when her hips met his, groaning at the tendrils of pleasure that finally, finally started moving through her, cooling spirals through every inch that neutralized the pain and sparked passion, true passion, that wasn’t dictated by a feeling or a sensation.

Peggy wanted to look, wanted to see Steve beneath her, but couldn’t seem to muster the energy to open her eyes, she couldn’t even quite make herself move as she wallowed in the sensation of the pain finally, finally leaving her body.

She could feel his hands at her hips, fingers tightening and loosening with each breath. She grabbed them, dragged them up her body until he was palming her breasts, gently squeezing under her own hands. She let her hands slide down his arms, landing at his shoulders by touch alone, her breath finally coming in slow, deep breaths instead of the shallow stilted gasps she could barely manage before from the pain.

Eyes still closed, she began to rock her hips against his, small movements that made him moan under her. Tiny, little changes in direction that made the pleasure spark through her system like fireworks. His fingers found her nipples, playing and teasing as her movements became bolder, as she started to find a rhythm. She took her hands and moved them back up to his, plastering his hands to her body moaning, “more,” under her breath a she moved her hands up and down his arms.

He moved his hand as she blinked open her eyes for the first time, looking down at him, lust glazing her eyes over. He pressed his palm up over her chest, around her neck and up to cradle her cheek. She turned her head into his hand, closing her eyes again as her hips gained speed, nuzzling into his hand and nipping at his thumb before sucking it deep in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it. He moaned as her lips mimicked her hips movement.

“More,” she moaned again, this time frustration tinging her words.

Steve moved swiftly, gathering her in his arms rolling, despite the handicap of having both feet effectively tied together. Peggy moaned happily buried underneath him, nuzzling into his body and rubbing every inch against him, her hips rocking against his as she wound her legs around his hips. He could feel the feral haze starting to dissipate, the need and want purely his own. He hiked her legs up higher on his hips, slipping from her body. She frowned, moving to correct it when he held her still. “Just…wait.”

He waited until she’s stilled, then kicked one leg to the side ferociously, ripping his pants down the seam and freeing him from the restriction. He smiled won at her, wagging his eyebrows. She licked her lips, smiling up at him as he slid himself back home, flexing his hips deep within her.

She writhed under him as he began to move, clawing at his back to pull him closer. “Take me, Steve,” she whispered, holding on as his hips drove deeper into her. She moaned lewdly, the rumble in her chest from the noise spurring him on to press harder and faster as she buried her head is his neck, her hot breath pouring over him.

It could have been seconds, it could have been hours that they held one another, pressed tight as one body, moving and breathing and crying out together as he brought her higher and higher. As she moved one hand, finding that bundle of nerves that just couldn’t quite get touched at this angle. As he replaced her hand with his, causing her to arch off the bed with his touch. As she fell apart under him, her body tightening around him as she cried out, pushing him past his own edge of sanity until there was nothing left except them breathing heavy, a pile of spent, sweaty limbs.

He didn’t ask a number as he gathered her against him. He didn’t care about the shreds of fabric and heavy boots he still wore as he pulled the bedsheet over them.

He just wanted to sleep and to keep her safe, always.

#Steggy Fic #Steggy Bingo Bash #3P's Fic #This one got away from me #and it's very adult #featuring feral Steve

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floralseokjin · 5 years

Text

— crystallised 04 (m)

crystallised /ˈkrɪst(ə)lʌɪz/ (verb) make or become definite and clear

Six weeks, that’s all it takes to forget about the threesome you shared with your boyfriend, Yoongi, and your past…fuck buddy, Seokjin. After all, it’s no big deal. Yoongi and you are doing better than ever, there’s no reason to regret such a night shared. That is until you hear some gossip in the library one day, and then slowly, little by little, everything starts to fall apart… Can you begin to make sense out of all this confusion, or is it too late?

pairing; kim seokjin x reader genre/warnings; college au, flashback indicated by italics (smut), slight angst, quite a lot of fluff, slow burn in a way, we’re still soft for moam seokjin 🤧 words; 24,347

sequel to; memoirs of a mistake and lostmyhead

chapters; 01 ⤑ 02 ⤑ 03 ⤑ 04 ⤑ 05 ⤑ 06 ⤑ 07⤑ 08 ✓

Yoongi came to pick up his things a few days after the break up like he said he would. The toothbrush and the razor left in your bathroom, a beanie, his hoody that he kept draped over your couch and then a pair of earphones you’d found on your bedside table. It all fitted into one bag. All you had to show for your relationship. All that was left. Once again, you were left wondering if you felt this way because of a broken heart, or if it was your own bitter disappointment at yet another failed relationship… This one wasn’t supposed to end like this. Yoongi was different, yet now you stood in front of him feeling like a stranger. Strange how things could change in a blink of an eye. When you finally stopped living in a dream world…

“There’s really nothing that we can do?”

You couldn’t help it. Despite knowing this wasn’t meant to be, knowing Yoongi and you weren’t right together, there was something still so desperate in you. Desperate for love, for happiness. It was pathetic really. Were you really willing to hold onto a relationship that wasn’t meant to be? You tried to think of Lina’s words of comfort as Yoongi shook his head sadly and embraced you. “Just because Yoongi is pretty much perfect doesn’t mean he’s right for you, and that’s okay. You’ll meet someone who is soon enough… Quit obsessing over it. It’ll only hurt more.”

You wrapped your arms around his middle, squeezing him tight just like your eyes. The way he smelt so familiar made your heart clench, seeming to beat in slow motion. Everything about him was familiar, but it didn’t seem like yours anymore. He wasn’t yours anymore, if he ever was… The past few days had made you think about a lot. The differences between Yoongi and you, ones that were probably small and meaningless but now seemed like enormous gaping holes in your doomed relationship. Lina was right. Yoongi was perfect, but he wasn’t your perfect. You needed to let that sink in and let him go.

The strange thing was, once he left, you didn’t feel like crying. The morning had been nerve wracking while waiting for him to turn up, afraid you were going to burst into tears at seeing his face and make a fool of yourself, but it never came. There was sadness of course, but it just stayed heavy in your chest, there, but bearable. You phoned Lina shortly after, explaining what happened and told her how you felt. “That’s a good thing, right? No more tears”, she’d asked, and you had to agree. This was it. Things were back to how they used to be before Yoongi. That wasn’t a bad thing, it would just take some getting used to. You’d slowly feel less sad, less empty and more yourself.

Lina asked if you wanted her to come over before work for a little while, just to keep you company but you declined. You’d be fine, you were fine. You needed to get used to being alone again, because since you’d told her about the break up she’d been like your second shadow. You’d only just gotten rid of her yesterday, because, yes, she had insisted on sleeping over 3 nights in a row, and yes, you had told her about the threesome-that-should-never-be-mentioned… You should have waited until she wasn’t chewing on popcorn to drop the bomb because you were about two seconds away from performing the Heimlich maneuver on her before the piece luckily dislodged itself.

She was still trying to process the information to be honest, second guessing her opinion on Yoongi, because yes, she expected that type of behaviour from Seokjin, but Yoongi?! That was different. She couldn’t work out why he’d agreed to it… She couldn’t work out why you had agreed to it… But you weren’t about to dissect your brain to find the answers. It had happened, it was done. History. “Is it though? Seokjin’s sniffing around again pretty quickly…” had been her retort, to which you’d rolled your eyes at. Telling her you’d also hung out the night after the break up had been a mistake if she was going to make insane assumptions. “We’re going to try being friends…” You’d sighed, knowing it was probably never going to get through to her.

“TRY?! What does that mean? Do not tell me you’re even thinking about going back there?!”

“Of course not.” You’d punctuated slowly, glaring at her. “It means we’ve never been just friends before and we want to try because believe it or not, I like Seokjin as a person. Maybe if you looked past your poor misjudgement you’d see he’s not that bad.”

“Seems fake, but okay.”

You had to shut yourself up in the end, unsure why you were so defensive over him to begin with. Seokjin probably didn’t give a shit what Lina thought about him. So you shook your head, dismissing the stupid conversation. “Trust me, if Seokjin wanted to sleep with me again, he’d just say it outright. He doesn’t work under false pretences.”

It was dumb even saying the words. Seokjin and you were also done, just like you and Yoongi. History. The only difference was there was little damage done between you both, a friendship could still happen. With Yoongi, despite what he said, it seemed impossible to be just friends right now. You knew he hadn’t wanted to hurt you, and you knew the break up was the right choice, but now your trust in him was a little tainted…

Lina had relented anyway, knowing it was none of her business to interfere, just like she relented when you insisted you could handle today on your own. There were floors to vacuum, laundry to wash, Netflix series to binge… You’d be fine. Although, when your phone rang again ten minutes later you were 95% sure it was her again, unable to take no for an answer. However, it wasn’t.

It was Seokjin. You felt oddly nervous when you answered. You hadn’t seen him nor heard his voice since the other night he’d come around with take out, but you’d messaged on and off in between, and yes, you had wished him luck for his test. It was still a little new, this friendship thing, and it seemed you both didn’t know how to get it to progress without feeling awkward. He sounded awkward now as he spoke…

“Hey… How are you?” He didn’t give you time to reply. “How did things with Yoongi go? Unless he hasn’t been yet–Has he been yet? Sorry,” he broke off to chuckle quietly at himself. “I’m bombarding you. I just… I wanted to see if you’re okay…”

That touched you, made your chest warm, a smile appearing on your face that you were kinda glad he couldn’t see right now. “I’m fine, Dad.”

“Dad?” He repeated, confused laughter now ringing in your ears. “You know I don’t like being called that.”

You rolled your eyes, but at the same time not quite believing he’d gone there. Automatically your mind went places. You and him. A few months back. That was dangerous territory. You shook your head, physically shaking the memories away. “There’s a difference, Jin. Dad means you’re acting like my literal dad right now.”

“Ew,” he simply replied, before he paused. He sounded hesitant when he continued. “I can tell by your voice that everything’s okay?”

“Yeah,” you sighed lightly. You’d mentioned to Seokjin that today was the day last night through text, but you weren’t expecting him to phone and check up on you. That was sweet of him. “Yoongi left about half an hour ago. Took his stuff. I didn’t cry, so that’s good.”

“Definitely,” Seokjin agreed quietly.

You could hear people chattering in the background, guessing he was out in public somewhere. You absentmindedly stretched your arm above your head, catching yourself in the mirror where you stood and carried on talking. “So now I guess that’s it. I get used to being a lonely, old cat lady – just without the cats.”

That made him snicker. You smiled. You always did like making him laugh. “Shut up. Hey, are you staying at home today?”

“Mhm hm,” you nodded. Unable to help feeling a little curious.

“Oh.” There was a pause, and you wondered if that was it. Was he just making small talk? It had sounded like he was about to suggest something. You waited patiently. Maybe a little hopefully. You heard him take a large breath. At least it sounded that way. “I’m in the Starbucks near campus trying to hit 2k words on this essay. Wanna join me?”

You caught yourself smiling again. You’d been right. “Won’t you get distracted?”

He scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself.” Before quickly backtracking. “Just kidding.” As if you didn’t know. “Can’t you bring some work along? We can motivate each other.”

Hm. You had already told Lina you were going to stay in and do housework but fresh air seemed like something that could do you good. There was no point staying inside and moping around, plus, you could make a start on some assignments… “I do have something in by Thursday.” You made up your mind instantly.

“Perfect.”

“Give me half an hour.”

You were a little longer than that. You needed to brush your hair, then change, because 2-day old sweats probably weren’t acceptable. Somewhere along the way you decided to apply some make up, the first time since the break up. It was really no big deal, you could’ve gone without, but it felt good to feel a little more human again. You grabbed what you needed and text Seokjin you were leaving. Starbucks was only about a ten-minute walk away so he knew when to roughly expect you. You were oddly excited. It had been a few days since you’d last seen him and if you were being honest, you’d been wondering when the next chance to hang out would arise.

He greeted you with a, “Got you a tea. Two sugars. Just how you like it,” which for some reason struck at heartstring.

“You remembered.”

“Of course.” He gave a little shrug as you pulled up the chair opposite him. “It wasn’t that long ago, plus you’re like the only person I know who hates coffee.”

That was true. He’d found it out the first time you’d (accidentally) slept over. Handing you a coffee in the morning definitely didn’t make you happy. Nor did not having any tea bags in his apartment. He soon learnt.

“What’s your essay on?” You asked, motioning to his laptop and laughed when he pulled a face.

“I don’t know. Something about the London stock market or some shit.”

“How come Kim Seokjin majors in the most boring subject known to man?”

“I’m hardly fun, am I?” He chuckled. Thinking about it, Seokjin was probably the dorkiest certified fuckboy you’d ever known, so maybe the business major did suit him really well. He was a good boy really. You teased him with that immediately when he judged you for pulling an iPad out of your bag to write your essay. (Who writes essays on an iPad?!) A good boy who always did his assignments on time (nearly) and always studied hard. How adorable.

He took your ribbing all afternoon, even though surprisingly you did manage to get some work done. You probably would’ve stayed there until an employee kicked you out but Seokjin had a shift at the campus gym to get to. It was in your direction home, so you said you’d walk with him as you waited for him to shove his things into his backpack.

“You look happier today,” he smiled your way as you left. Maybe he’d wanted to tell you that sooner considering how his shoulders relaxed a lot more as you began walking. The side eyes hadn’t gone amiss.

“I have make up on.” You informed him. That could deceive anyone.

He laughed, nudging your shoulder with his. “That’s not it.” Another side eye, a small small.

“What?” You giggled. Maybe you did feel happier? You were so sure today would hurt the hardest, but in actual fact, you just felt lighter. The worst was done.

“Nothing,” Seokjin shook his head lightly. “I just thought you’d be really cut up, that’s all.”

“What do you want from me?” You exclaimed dramatically with a laugh. “Want me to be crying on your shoulder?!” You nudged him this time. He stumbled a little and you rolled your eyes, unable to tell if he was just messing with you.

“No,” he whined. “I want this. Hearing your laugh again. You rolling your eyes at me. Watch it.” He warned, pointing his finger as he caught you doing it again. “You’ll lose them.” You both laughed together as you walked on. Yes, maybe it was slightly awkward, conversation stunted because Seokjin was still second guessing his comforting skills and you were unsure on how much to divulge in fear of making him too uncomfortable. Not that you really had much to tell anymore. You mostly just wanted to forget this horror of a week, so really, Seokjin was doing a great job. You told him just as much.

“Thank you.” He looked comically unsure as he glanced at you. “For today. I’m happier because this cheered me up.”

A crooked smile appeared on his face but you barely had any time to acknowledge it because you were taken by surprise when his arm wrapped around your shoulder. It took you a stunted moment to realise he was swiftly moving you out of harms way. Two seconds away from colliding with a man in suit who was looking down at his phone as he headed towards you. Embarrassingly, your own body had acted without command and it was too late to stop your own arm from clinging around his middle. Like a reflex. A strange and stupid reflex. You quickly removed it and and muttered your thanks.

If he noticed your awkwardness he didn’t bring it up. Instead, chuckling under his breath, he squeezed your shoulder before sliding away. “I’m getting good at this friendship thing.” You nodded in agreement, gaze locked on the floor, but his sudden voice in your ear made you jump. “I’m glad you’re okay.” It was embarrassing, how skittish you felt over nothing. What was up with you? You were definitely allowed to touch Seokjin, and the action shouldn’t make you feel so embarrassed. You were being dumb. You shook yourself internally, looking up at him to agree. “Me too.”

He grinned, showing no signs he’d noticed your odd behaviour and you relaxed, a little more normal now when you felt his palm at the small of your back, gently pushing you forward. “Come on. Before my boss slits my throat.”

The walk wasn’t too long away from the gym, but you still scolded him as you rushed, wondering why you couldn’t have left earlier if he knew he had to get to work. You arrived at the glass doors a little out of breath and slightly warm. Seokjin was of course looking as perfect as always. No blemishes on his face while you had to hide about 4 today with concealer. You saw him off with a, “Good luck finishing that really boring essay,” wondering silently when you’d get to see him next.

He grinned. “Thanks. I’ll need it. Hey–” His hand reached for your wrist, stopping you from leaving as you turned, and you tilted your head, wondering what he could want. He shuffled on his feet, suddenly unable to meet your eyes. “This sounds really random… You can say no if you want to.” He paused to shrug. “It’s just I really want to see Endgame but everyone I know is going with their girlfriends so unless I third wheel—which I doubt they’ll let me anyway, I have no one to go with…” He stopped to glance at you, sounding hopeful. “What do you say?”

Your eyebrows creased together. “What’s Endgame?” Either you were really dumb or Seokjin was just forgetting who he was talking to. Maybe it was a bit of both by the sounds of his voice.

“Serious?” Your blank expression told him that you were. He whined your name dramatically, clocking into work now the last thing on his mind. “It’s the new Avengers movie. The Avengers. Please tell me you know what I’m on about because otherwise we cannot be friends.”

“Of course I know what you’re on about. I just didn’t know there was a new movie, that’s all.” You shrugged and he looked instantly relieved. “I’ll come with you. Hate for you to be a loner.”

“Really?” He sounded surprised.

You nodded with a hum. “I’ll have no clue what’s going on, but it’s fine.”

“I’ll fill you in. Come on, you know Iron Man, right?”

“Yes,” you exhaled. You weren’t completely stupid. “I know Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr is pretty hot.” He paused at that, visibly bemused. Whatever. You said what you said.

“Go!” You exclaimed instead, waving your hand. He was going to be late, and you weren’t having him being fired on your conscience. “Before your boss slits that pretty little throat of yours.”

Shit. Pretty?? Why had that left your mouth? You could tell by his small smirk he caught on too. You tried to hide the shock from your face. No big deal. It was a just a saying. You turned on cue, ready to dash. “I’ll text you tomorrow? We can work out when we’re both free?”

You nodded quickly, turning to wave. “Bye, Seokjin.”

…And with that your friendship began. At first it was… odd. Not a bad odd by any means, just weird. Weird to have him back in your life and weird in the way it was. Not even a year ago you’d found it hard to believe you were fuck buddies, in the loosest form of friendship, but now it was just buddy, and that was equally as hard to believe. At first.

Once the bizarreness wore off, Seokjin’s company became so natural there didn’t seem to be a day that went past where you didn’t contact one another in some form or even hang out together. It was like he’d never not been there. Only this time it was better. You both agreed.

Friendship blossoming between the two of you may have seemed impossible to others, considering the history that you shared, Hell, it had even seemed impossible to you, but it came easily and naturally. You enjoyed learning new things about him, and you thought it was the same for him. Why else would he be so keen to hang around? You didn’t know if Seokjin was having some kind of identity crisis or if he was just showing a new side of himself to you, but these days, he was different. Not vastly – the Seokjin you had grown to be fond of was still there, knew how to teasingly exasperate you, knew how to make you laugh, but now he was a little more serious, more mature. You’d seen glimpses of that behaviour when you were both hooking up, but to be honest the sex kind of distracted you from anything else, clouded your brain… You weren’t particularly interested in his friendship back then, it had just sort of come as a vague added bonus. One you passively enjoyed but didn’t think much about.

Only, now you did see how much you’d missed him. You liked having him back in your life in this new way, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t help distract you from your break up with Yoongi. Your chest was still heavy for a while afterwards, but you couldn’t even tell if it was a broken heart or a bruised ego. Maybe it was both, or neither… Sometimes the sadness felt strange and you couldn’t place it. Your head was still a mess and it looked like you’d never get any real answers—from Yoongi and your own mind and heart. You hated it, but you continued to remind yourself of the positives. You had loving parents only a few blocks away, great friends, Lina, who had always been your best, Seokjin… School was going well, work too, ever since you’d left shitty Wendy’s. You couldn’t really complain if one thing had gone wrong, could you? Time was all you needed, and gradually, that time with Yoongi became just a memory… Life continued going.

Seokjin Am I your best friend ?

You what do you want

You knew Seokjin well enough to know when he was buttering you up. Even after the time spent apart, it was still easy to spot the signs. That, and with these past couple of weeks, Seokjin seemed to love using the friendship you two now had as some sort of leverage for god knows what. It was buying him lunch last week because he’d conveniently forgotten his wallet at home. Two days ago it was giving him a ride to Namjoon and Hoseok’s place because his car was out of gas and he didn’t want to walk. Now it was what exactly? The suspense was killing you.

Seokjin You know me well But answer the question

You no 😂 lina is !!

Seokjin 😔 Am I your best guy friend then?

You yes but only by default

You had no other guy friend who messaged you at 2am just as you were about to hit the hay asking if you wanted to grab breakfast in the morning and then proceeded to unload his day on you as you lay there in the dark, glow of your cellphone screen hurting your eyes. Not that you minded really. You still felt like you owed Seokjin after the whole break up drama, so more often than not you were fishing for any signs of change in mood from him, waiting to pounce and pay him back in kind. Not that kind of kind though.

You were always doing that. Accidentally dropping yourself in it, making things awkward. You’d told Seokjin exactly the same right at the beginning and you still weren’t over how red your face had gotten when you’d tried to explain yourself. “Payment in kind, like a-actual kind. Comfort for comfort…” You’d stammered. He’d just wiggled his eyebrows. “What type of comfort?”

However Seokjin never gave you anything mood wise to go off, so you had to assume he was perfectly fine. Which he probably was. It was just if he wanted to ever lay bare his innermost thoughts and feelings you were there. You had a feeing if you ever told him that part he’d run for the hills. He was just happy moaning about his day through text message, sometimes call, and you happily listened even if you sometimes hummed in agreement without really concentrating...

Seokjin I’ll just ignore that YAY so will you come see Endgame again?

You AGAIN?!

Seokjin PLEASE I need to go one more time before it leaves theatres

You ask sandeul that movie was a whole three hours long THREE HOURS I’LL NEVER BET BACK

Seokjin He doesn’t want to go again PLS I’LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT

Couldn’t he just wait until it came out on blu-ray? Then again, the ‘I’ll do anything you want’ sounded like an offer you couldn’t refuse. Maybe you could make him live to regret taking another three hours of your life away. Not that the movie was terrible. It was actually pretty good considering Seokjin had managed to give you the previous lowdowns not an hour before the screening. He didn’t need to know that though.

You hmm interesting.. ok but i’m still thinking about what you can do for me

Seokjin Omg yes Thank you I’ll pay again

You of course

Seokjin 😁 I love you 3000

You scoffed at his lame butter up. You’d already said yes, he didn’t need to sway you anymore, and an Avengers reference wasn’t going to do the trick anyway. It did make you laugh though, despite that line actually ruining you in the movie, and despite what Jin said, it ruined him too. You’d heard an awful lot of sniffing coming from beside you during that scene…

That’s how you found yourself at the movie theatre again on the weekend, eagerly waiting in line to get snacks because you’d only just finished work an hour ago and were surviving off a sandwich you’d eaten at lunch.

“Jin! Wassup brother?”

The booming voice of one of Seokjin’s friends was impossible not to hear as he passed by. You vaguely knew his face. Couldn’t remember the name though. “Oh, hey Bri.” Ah. Brain. He was with his girlfriend—Jiyeon, you knew her name. She was in your fashion history class. She smiled at you and you returned it.

“What you seeing?” Brian asked, making conversation.

Seokjin chuckled. “Endgame. Second time. I had to bribe this one to come with me again.” He nudged you playfully, grinning down at you and you laughed along with him.

“Oh?” Brain tilted his head, looking between you both almost curiously. It made you feel a little nervous and you ended up sidling closer to Seokjin. “How’s it going?” He definitely had a grin on his face when he asked you both that. He didn’t… He didn’t have the wrong idea, did he?

Seokjin seemed to realise the same thing, shifting on his feet, sounding stunted when he replied. “G-good. Yeah. It’s going good.”

“We’re seeing Dumbo.” Jiyeon cut in, probably sensing the awkwardness in the air. A true life saver. “I brought tissues just in case,” she giggled.

“You’ll need them,” you informed her, still feeling relieved she’d changed the subject. “I saw that last week with my friend actually. We cried like babies.”

“Oh, god,” Brian groaned.

“Babe! Just because you’re scared you’ll cry too,” Jiyeon teased, elbowing him.

“Never,” he insisted. You all laughed. “We better bounce.” He added, checking the time on his phone. “Movie’s in five. See you around.” He nodded at Seokjin first, then you. “Have a good one.”

You swore he winked when he said that but you told yourself you were imagining it, waving after them just as it was your turn in line. After you’d paid for your snacks and were walking to the theatre room you glanced over at Seokjin. “You could’ve asked Bri to come with you. Is he a fan? Really, you know everyone.” You chuckled.

“Hey, I’m a friendly guy,” he insisted. That was true. You swore Seokjin knew pretty much 70% of people around college, and you were pretty sure everyone liked him. He just had that type of aura. Well, nearly everyone. Yoongi was probably the only person you knew who had his problems, and given the history you didn’t really blame him.

You were about to agree when Seokjin’s phone buzzed, signalling he had a text. He opened it up without glancing at the preview and you caught your name on the screen. So did he, you guessed because he quickly locked the device and shoved it in his pocket.

“Who’s that?” You wondered. You already knew.

“Just Brian. He, uh.” A pause. Like he was trying to think, and then he chuckled. “He said ‘Enjoy the movie, nerd’.” You joined him politely. You mean, Brian could’ve said that. You didn’t see the whole message, but your name was definitely there, and Seokjin was most definitely not telling you why.

You glanced at him again, maybe he could see the suspicion on your face but he didn’t say anything. Neither did you. You could see how flush his cheeks had gotten, ears too. He was obviously feeling nervous that you’d press him further. You didn’t. You got it. People knew your history with Seokjin, it wasn’t a surprise to you anymore, and therefore, if they saw you together they’d probably think something was going on again. Like now. Brian had assumed something and that was okay. Awkward maybe, but to be expected. You smiled at Seokjin and handed him the popcorn. “He’s not wrong.”

“Hey! But yeah, he would’ve said no if I asked.” His hand fell to your lower back as he teased you and let you walk through the door first, mouth lowering to your ear, making you squirm a little. It tickled, and your skin seemed to glow where he touched you. Warm and comforting. Warm and nice. “See, you’re my only choice.”

“So what are your favourite movies?”

You let your head fall back against the headrest as you thought about Seokjin’s question. It was now over four hours later and you were parked outside your apartment. He’d given you a ride home but you’d been sat here for 30 minutes or so just talking casually. Something you hadn’t done so in-depth before. It felt nice, and you should’ve just invited him in, but in all honesty, for some reason you were worried he’d say no.

“I don’t know, I’ll watch anything really.” You shrugged after a moment. Titanic seemed too predictable and you knew Seokjin would probably tease you over it. You quickly run through some of your favourites from your teenage years. Wait. “Maybe Lord of the Rings? I loved it when I was younger.” The books were still on your to read list though. You doubted you’d ever get around to it…

“No way,” he exclaimed. “Me too!” You grinned in surprise. It was always fun realising you had things in common. The small, strange things that you’d never had any clue about. Things like favourite movies, music, or books never came into question when you were just fucking.

“I haven’t seen them in years. I always wanted to watch the extended versions all in one go. I’d probably flake though.”

“Same,” you laughed, before suddenly having an idea. “Wait. I think I know what we can do together seeing as you owe me.”

He tilted his head as he smirked a little. “Watching a movie franchise I love isn’t a punishment.”

You scoffed. “Watching Endgame twice was hardly terrible, Seokjin. I came again because I wanted to.” That made him happy. Although you thought he already knew that. These days you were just content hanging out with him, whatever the reason. You thought he knew that too.

You could hear a voice, whispering – irritating really. You were sleeping and it was interrupting you. It seemed to be getting louder, sounded an awful lot like your name, and now you were getting shaken. Woken up. Voice now familiar. Hushing your name over and over again as they tried to rouse you. You made a noise and stretched, opening your eyes. Seokjin’s face hovered over yours, blue with the glow of the television. “It’s late. You should go to bed.”

You bolted up, he just had time to pull back narrowly missing you head butting him. “What time is it?” You asked, rubbing your eyes. You were still in a daze. You remembered earlier in the night, it was your Lord of the Rings marathon you’d been planning for the last few days, and Seokjin had come over at 5pm to get an early start. You’d made snacks and then you’d ordered pizza after the first movie was done. You remembered finishing the second one and being shocked that you may actually be able to do this. That was until you began the third. You remembered hitting play and then that was it. “Did we finish Return of the King?”

Seokjin laughed, sitting back against the couch again. “No. I paused it like twenty minutes in. You’ve been asleep for nearly two hours. You groaned, leaning back too and pulling the blanket you’d had draped across you all night up over your shoulders. “Don’t worry, you did good to last that long.” He continued. “It’s nearly 4am.”

No wonder you were dead to the world, it was practically the next day. Seokjin ran a hand through his hair. It was a little bit rumpled and he moved sluggishly. He sounded a little sluggish too. Voice a little croaky. “Did you fall asleep too?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t fight it.” He sounded sheepish. Guess he hated the failure too. “I think I can drive home though.” Sitting up, he made motions to stand. “Maybe I’ll have a glass of water first. Y’know, wake up.”

“No way.” Your insistence came with trapping him with your legs. Not that it could work. He was much stronger than you, but he listened anyway, too tired to fight. “You can stay over. Is the sofa okay?”

He heaved an exhausted sigh, grabbing your ankles to move and lie across the couch, his legs now trapping your body instead. Grinning, he reached for a cushion and put it behind his head, folding an arm behind there too. “Good thing it’s comfy.”

You tried to wriggle your bottom half from under him but it was impossible. He was like lead. “Move your legs,” you whined, but he refused, unable to suppress the giant smirk on his face. You pushed and pulled at his calves. “Seokjin!” Your voice was breaking you were so tired so you think he took pity on you in the end.

“Okay, okay, I’m moving them,” he chuckled, letting you sit forward so he could stretch them out behind you.

“You’re so fucking lucky you’re wearing socks.” He laughed louder at that and you removed the blanket from yourself, leaning over to place it over him instead. It was pretty thick and he had his clothes on so he should be warm enough. “There you go. Let me tuck you in tight.” You teased, hovering to push the material under his body, travelling all the way down to his feet. You sat back to admire your handy work. He looked cosy. Cute. A large, human burrito.

“Thanks, Mom,” he drawled.

“Thought we said we’d never try that.” The words were out before you could stop them, silently cursing yourself for going there. What was with you both? He’d done something similar not so long ago too.

But if Seokjin noticed your awkwardness, he didn’t let on, just chuckled softly. “Sorry.”

You found yourself grinning and shook your head – you were being silly. Standing up, you switched the TV off and made your way slowly to bed in the newfound dark. Not that it was much of a journey. Your studio apartment had its perks. You could also see the silhouette of Seokjin the Human Burrito perfectly from where you lay.

“Night night, watch the bed bugs don’t bite,” you sang, unable to stop yourself. He just fidgeted and groaned in reply. You rolled your eyes.

You must have fallen asleep again pretty quickly because you couldn’t remember anything after that. You had no idea what the time was when you woke up, but light was streaming through the shades and you blindly stretched for your phone, knowing you’d left it somewhere on your nightstand earlier in the night. Ah ha! You found it and quickly unlocked it with your thumb. It was nearly 11am. You hated waking up late but what did you expect when you’d stayed up half the night. You peaked at Seokjin’s figure. Still asleep but now out of his burrito blanket, one leg stretched over the arm of the couch—which didn’t take much, he was too big for it anyway, and the other leg was hanging off, foot on the floor. Socks off. You couldn’t see his face, covered by the blanket, but the image made you smile. Without particularly thinking you snapped a picture, zooming in. There. Now you had the memory forever.

You laid your head back down and began clicking on those dumb mobile games you were addicted to, before getting bored when you couldn’t beat a level of some infuriating cooking restaurant game you’d only downloaded two days ago. You opened up twitter. You had some notifications from last night after tweeting a picture of your television with the opening credits of Lord of the Rings paused across it. There were a few likes but all the replies were from Seokjin.

(6:30pm) You tweeted: [Image added] LOTR MARATHON TONIGHT 🌋 💍👁🧙🏻‍♂️🧝🏻‍♀️

(6:32pm) Kim_Seokjin replied: Ur honestly the biggest nerd I know

(6:32pm) You replied: funny because i think the EXACT same about you 😜

(2:30am) Kim_Seokjin replied: And you fell asleep….. 🙄

That was a new one, he’d obviously done it when you’d first fallen asleep. Just to fall asleep not long after, you might add… You were about to point that out ever so kindly when you had a new notification. The name made your heart stop, stomach sinking.

MinYoongs liked your tweet

It hadn’t been the first time Yoongi had liked something of yours since the break up. It had been over three weeks now and in that time he’d hit the heart on a few of your tweets. At first it had upset you, but now you you didn’t mind. It was sort of comforting, knowing he kept semi up to date with you. Like a part of him was still here. You’d began liking some of his tweets and even facebook uploads too. You’d seen him around college a couple of times but not immediate enough to have a conversation. Now that you didn’t have class together your paths went back to not crossing like they had in the beginning. You’d smile and nod in his direction and he’d do the same, raising a hand in acknowledgment. It was sad to think that’s what your relationship had become now, but what could you do? A part of you was still holding out on one day being able to be friends. You mean, if you and Seokjin could do it then it was possible, right?

Only this time he liked your tweet it made you feel weird. Guilty, probably. He’d liked it even after seeing Seokjin’s replies. What did he think? You couldn’t help but wonder. It was pretty obvious Seokjin had been around your apartment watching movies on your sofa where you used to do the same with Yoongi. It was entirely innocent, but Yoongi didn’t know that. Yoongi knew Seokjin as the guy you’d been fucking before you began dating him. Yoongi knew Seokjin as the guy he’d shared you with that one stupid night. Yoongi knew Seokjin and all the history you guys shared, and he had still liked your tweet? What did that mean?

Was he totally unbothered? Did you want him to be bothered? No, you didn’t. However, you still couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. You wondered if you should message him, try to explain, but really there was nothing to explain. Doing so would just make you look like you had something to hide, and you already still felt the guilt at running to Seokjin’s place the night of the break up. Like you were hiding something from him. By Yoongi liking that tweet it showed you he was fine with whatever was going on, but you couldn’t very well hit him up like ‘Me and Seokjin are just friends. Honest.’ It was weird. He probably knew you were hanging around with one another anyway. You didn’t do it often, but you had met up around college sometimes, studied together in the library. He could’ve seen it, his friends could’ve seen it. It probably came to no surprise to him.

You were overthinking again. It was stupid and you hated doing it. Seokjin stirred, the sound of his phone falling onto the floor making you both jump. He groaned as he reached for it and you took the opportunity to banish your thoughts. There was no point worrying over things you couldn’t control nor knew the answers to. “You awake?”

“Mpmph. Morning.”

His voice was raspy, thick with sleep, but at least he was semi intelligible. “Couch still comfy?”

“Yeah. I wanna take that back.” He said as he shifted, sitting up. You bit back the urge to laugh. His hair was flattened in the back, face puffy. It had been a while since you’d seen him like this. “It’s like lying on concrete after a while.”

“Sorry.” A giggle slipped and he stared you down, just making you laugh harder if anything.

He shook his head in defeat. “Anyways, wanna eat and finish where we left off?” You nodded immediately, discarding your phone on the nightstand quickly. Maybe your mind couldn’t switch off fully but you were thankful for the help. Even if Seokjin didn’t know he was doing just that.

“God. Will you quit it.”

“Quit what?” You wondered cluelessly, looking up from your phone to see Lina sentencing death with one glare.

“Messaging Jin every two seconds.”

You paused, feeling a little sheepish, like you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t. Which was stupid because 1) You’d been messaging him in plain sight and 2) You were definitely not doing anything wrong. It wasn’t your fault Lina treated Seokjin like he was the antichrist… You locked your phone and shoved it down the side of her couch. “It’s fine. He’s going to work now anyway.”

That didn’t appease her though. You could feel her eyes still on you, even though you’d tried to make yourself as small as possible as you began watching whatever was on the TV. You finally gave in, glancing over at her expectantly. Whatever she wanted to say she should just go for it.

“Tell me the truth, are you sleeping with him again?”

“No! What?!” Okay. You hadn’t been expecting that at all. “Lina, shut up.” You brushed her off.

“Well, I don’t know. You kept it quiet for months the first time.”

How could she even think that? Yes, you were hanging out with him quite a lot now, and yes, you had kept your hook ups secret from her for the longest time, but that was all in the past. You kept it hidden because you weren’t particularly proud of it, but as time past it became harder and harder to tell her, even if you no longer cared because you began to like Seokjin as a person and not just as a good fuck. In the end you were no longer embarrassed, just awkward.

“We’re just friends.” It would never happen again between the two of you. Hook ups weren’t your thing now. It hadn’t ended particularly badly but things had gotten complicated for no good reason. You didn’t want that anymore. You liked what you had with him now and were thankful for him.

“Sure about that?” She pressed, her tone telling you she didn’t believe you at all.

“Very sure.” You insisted. She wouldn’t budge. Had that annoying pretentious look on her face that drove you crazy. “Want to see our messages?” You added as a joke but her eyes lit up. “Oh, my god. You do, don’t you?!” She didn’t give you an answer, but had the decency to look sheepish. “Do it!” You exclaimed, grabbing your phone to open up your messages and give it to her.

She began to scroll hesitantly, reading upwards, as if you weren’t already judging her nosy little ass. You couldn’t help but joke around though. “There’s no dick pics, if that’s what you’re eager to see.”

She pulled a face. “Ew. My eyes would never recover.” You scoffed. You both knew despite her distaste for Seokjin she had definitely asked you to confirm if his dick was as big as people said when she’d found out about your promiscuous activities. So she couldn’t say shit despite gagging when you’d gone into detail, (it had involved a quick sketch and comparisons), but otherwise you ignored her, letting her read conversations that weren’t even that interesting. Whatever she expected to find, she didn’t of course. “What is this?” She asked you, now scrolling aimlessly.

“Pretty boring, right?”

“Why are you having a whole conversation about Lord of the Rings? It lasted two days?!” The judgment in her tone was classic Lina, but more than that she was just honestly bewildered. Until— “I love you 3000?! Why is he telling you he loves you?”

You rolled your eyes. “Relax. It’s an Avengers reference.”

“Oh for god’s sake. You’ve gone full nerd. He’s confessing his love with movie references.”

“He’s not confessing anything,” you sighed. As if. Seokjin falling in love with you, even anyone, just seemed hilarious. Maybe when he was thirty something. You watched her scroll up some more until she got bored and handed it back to you. “Innocent, right?”

“I guess so…”

You laughed. How was she still so suspicious? “Now will you drop it?”

“Fine.” She sighed. “It does look like you two have some sort of friendship going on. Who am I to judge.”

“Finally. So you admit Seokjin isn’t so bad?” You grinned. Mostly teasing her, but also pretty happy she was finally beginning to understand your friendship with Seokjin.

She stared at you. “I wouldn’t go that far. But yeah, it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to slip inside somewhere.”

You wrinkled your nose. “Definitely not.” Like you’d told her before, if that was the case he would’ve just asked outright. You glanced over at her again, realising she was still watching you carefully. As if trying to spot any slip ups. “What?”

“What about you?” She asked almost cryptically.

“What about me?”

“You’ve been awfully happy lately.”

Her tone was a little accusing, despite the context. “I can’t be happy now?”

“Of course you can.” She exclaimed. “It’s just you know, considering what went down with Yoongi and all… It wasn’t that long ago.”

“It’s been long enough,” you shrugged. Seemed like a lifetime ago. Seemed like you and Yoongi never happened… “Lina, I’m done moping. Have been for a while. Me and him tried and it failed. That’s life.”

“Okay, okay,” she chuckled quietly. “I’m not getting at you. I think it’s good you’re not beating yourself up about it.” She give you a knowing look. It wouldn’t have been the first time you’d blamed yourself. Shockingly, she was right. You hadn’t gone full self loathing mode this time around. “I’m just worried… You don’t want more with Jin, do you?”

“Huh?” Her question caught you off guard, as did her gentle voice. The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind, but maybe you could understand why it had crossed hers. Every guy you’d ever seemed to get involved with you’d fallen for. Despite however adamant you were to keep things unattached sometimes. Seokjin was the only guy that hadn’t happened with, yet he proved to be the guy that was the kindest to you. The one who meant the most.

“You’ve been hanging out a lot lately. At first I thought it was just a distraction for you, but well, you sure you haven’t fallen for him?”

“I haven’t,” you shook your head. You replied without really thinking. Automatically. “We’re just friends.” Because you were, and it worked that way. It really did.

“Okay,” she nodded and smiled, letting it go. She did genuinely seem to believe you. “Whatever makes you happy. I just don’t want you getting hurt again, that’s all.” You smiled back, unable to fight the urge to hug her. She received it happily. Lina was your best friend. Had been since high school. She was the one you could be a little more vulnerable around, show your gentler side to, and likewise. She was a lot harder skinned than you though. Yours was mainly for show. She truly took no shit.

“Just don’t go replacing me with him, got it?” She joked, pulling away.

“Awh, is that what you’re worrying about, Lina?” You teased, clinging to her as you rubbed your face in her neck. “Don’t worry, there’s only one of you. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Get off,” she giggled. “Of course there’s only one of me.”

“I am happy that you like Seokjin now though.” You couldn’t help but slip in, the teasing now over.

She scoffed, blowing air. “Wouldn’t go that far.” You just shrugged, about to suggest you order some food but she squealed, suddenly remembering something. “Oh my god, wait! I was supposed to tell you! Summer is getting into astrology and she told me about this really cool app!” She pulled out your phone and you laughed at her dramatic excitement. “Download it too and let’s see how compatible we are! I need to know if we’re going to be best friends for ever.”

…And she called you the nerd?

“I wanna start working out.”

You paused from browsing a rack of clothes to glance at Seokjin, waiting for his response. You’d made up your mind to go to the mall today after class and for some reason, after telling him, “Do you want to come to?” rolled from your tongue. He agreed almost instantly, so here you were, Seokjin following by your side as you aimlessly (window) shopped.

He had an eyebrow cocked. “You do?”

“Mmhm,” you nodded, pulling a shirt from a pole to hold it up to your body. You met his eyes in the mirror. “I think I want abs.”

He scoffed instantly. “Abs?! You’ll give up before that.”

“I won’t,” you whined, pushing him with your elbow as you slotted the shirt back with the others. He grabbed ahold of your arm naturally, playfully pushing you back. “It can’t be that hard anyway?”

Maybe abs were a little too ambitious. You just felt the need to start working out, to get healthy, change your diet. You often got these spur of the moment plans but if you were being real, you never stuck to them. There was the time you and Lina decided to go jogging three times a week before classes. That lasted one week. There was also that time you tried to follow a pilates youtube video… You lasted ten minutes. The video was forty. This time was a little bit different though. You had Seokjin. He worked out every day (at least he used to), and he worked in the goddamn campus gym. You needed a motivator and he was the perfect candidate. At least he he had been.. You were taking his negativity quite personally.

He agreed. Slightly. “It probably won’t for you, no, but I don’t think you have the willpower though.”

You scowled at his smirk. He just looked amused. “Excuse you. You’re just afraid mine will look better than yours.”

“I don’t have them anymore,” he chuckled.

“Really?” You did not believe him whatsoever. “Liar. Show me.” Your hands were bunching up his t-shirt before you really had time to realise what you were doing, your fingers slipping under, brushing against his stomach. Still hard and just as warm as you remembered. Something jumped inside of you. It was gone before you had time to place it.

He hissed your name with a baffled laugh, grabbing your hand. “We’re in public.”

This time the sensation in your gut stayed longer when it appeared. You had enough time to understand it but you pushed it away, taking your hand back with a roll of eyes. You ignored how hot your face felt and acted as usual, beginning to toddle off. “Whatever. I’m joining the college gym. I’ll find someone else to help me if you don’t.”

“Ah, I see,” he called after you, speeding up to catch you up. You could hear the slight tease in his voice, which wasn’t doing anything for your jostled hormones. Damn time of the month. That’s what you’d blame it on. “This is just a ploy to see me more. Hanging out at my place of work now? I think I’ll just show up at yours too. I have a sudden interest in fashion.”

He nudged you with his shoulder and you scoffed. “With your dress sense? Try again.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the look of indignation on his face.

He sighed in defeat. “Fine. If I help you get fit, you can help me dress better.”

You stopped, a handbag catching your eye, but also, bless him. “Seokjin, you dress fine enough,” you said as you turned to him. White t-shirt, a black cardigan, jeans that had holes in at the knees, black converse. It was all very casual prep. Effortless, because you knew for a fact Seokjin just picked whatever out of his closet and slipped it on in the mornings. Very boy next door. You wouldn’t really have it any other way.

That didn’t seem to satisfy him though, going by the pout he gave you. “You just laughed at me.”

You needed to physically clench your fists to stop you from reaching up and attempting to pinch those lips of his. Madness. “I really like your style. It suits you.”

“You do?”

He looked happy with that, lips now quirking up a little at the edges. You nodded sincerely. “Yep. It’s cosy. Although, you could probably do with wearing tighter fitting shirts.” He cocked an eyebrow at your suggestion. “You know, to show of this…” Those pesky hands of yours found themselves gliding across his shoulders. You caught Seokjin’s eyes and smiled quickly, awkwardly no doubt and pulled away, grabbing the handbag off the rack to uselessly look at. “Girls will like that a lot. Not that you need help.” You muttered the last part, unsure if he heard you.

He did, chuckling quietly. “I’m not interested.”

You paused, trying to decipher his words. He wasn’t interested in the shirts or the girls? It had to be the former, Kim Seokjin was always interested in girls. Although, saying that, you hadn’t heard him talk about any since you’d began hanging out together. Not that he had to. That would probably be weird. No, scrap that. It would definitely be weird. You did not want to hear about his hook ups and likewise for him most probably. Not that there were any hook ups. You were taking a much-needed break. Seokjin was the only man you needed in your life, which sounded incredibly cheesy now that you’d thought it.

“I’ll still help you though,” he continued, following you as you began strolling again, heading for the exit.

“Oh my god, yay! Thank you!” You gleed, unable to stop yourself from latching onto his arms and squeezing him. God. What was with you and physical contact today? Maybe you’d always done it, you were just paying extra attention today? Truthfully, ever since Lina had given you the third degree the other night you kept questioning every small thing you did towards Seokjin. Silly because there was nothing to second guess. He definitely didn’t do the same.

You kept your distance after that, looking around the mall for a sports store. “I need to find something to wear,” was your excuse. “Surely you have a pair of leggings and a t-shirt at home,” was his response. Which was the dumbest thing he could say to you seeing as you were the world’s biggest shopper.

“Let’s get doughnuts first,” he said after a few minutes of searching, catching you by surprise when he grabbed ahold of your elbow. He looked like he realised what he did because he pulled back quickly. Okay so maybe it wasn’t just you… You happily followed him anyway, the smell making your belly rumble.

“You have to start eating healthy if you want abs. This is your last chance to get that treat.” He teased, laughing a little too sadistically when he saw you frown at the realisation…

“That wasn’t too bad.” You commented, making your way to the exit of the gym with Seokjin close behind you. You’d waited an extra twenty minutes for him to finish his shift so he could give you a ride home and now if you were being honest, you couldn’t wait to get in and run a bath. Seokjin didn’t need to know that though.

He said your name disapprovingly behind you, tugging off his lanyard to shove in his hoody pocket. You must say, Seokjin’s gym attire was something else. You hadn’t seen him in a pair of shorts for months and his thighs had definitely gotten bigger. Not that you were staring…

“What?” You puzzled, confused by his tone.

“You went on the running machine for half and hour and then did some squats.”

Okay, the patronising dick. “Some?! That was like a hundred!” He was the one who suggested starting off easy, and FYI, squats kinda burned if you weren’t used to them. Seokjin scoffed in reply, adding a “that wasn’t a hundred,” and you went to glare at him as you pushed the glass door open but some guy did so for you, already pulling it from the other side to enter. “Ladies first,” he grinned at you, letting you slide past him.

“Thank you,” you smiled back, noticing Seokjin almost push his way past after you. “At least there are nice people here,” you shot.

He pulled a face instantly. “You serious? They’re nice because they want to fuck you.” Your affronted expression said it all, and because you didn’t believe him, you whipped your head around, immediately catching the guy who’d held the door open for you looking back too. He smirked when he noticed he had your attention. You shot your head forward quickly, eyes wide.

“See.” Seokjin exclaimed. “I had to watch pretty much every guy check you out.” He sounded almost pissed. Nah. It was probably just your imagination. Bet you anything he just found it lame.

“Get lost.”

“No, really.” He insisted. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but your…” He hesitated and you looked up, curious but also regretting instantly when you did. “Your ass looks really good in those pants. I think you can skip the squats next time.”

You really had to be looking him in the eyes when he said that. You felt your face heat up immediately. Much more of a reaction than when that guy had smirked at you. “You were looking too?!” You exclaimed.

“Hey,” he whined. “It’s not my fault! I’m a guy, and in my defence, we have history.” A little shrug. “Things pop into my mind. Can’t control it.”

“Seokjin,” you gasped. What did that even mean? You couldn’t believe the words were coming out of his mouth.

“What? I’m just being honest.” He sounded so casual you just kept silent. Speechless by his gall. “Come on, get in. You’ll be aching soon,” he added, stopping by his car and opening the passenger’s side up for you.

You rode in complete silence. You didn’t want it to be awkward but it was. Not because he’d made you feel uncomfortable, but just because you couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d said. Why were you repeating his words over and over again inside your head? Why were you pretty sure your face was now as red as a tomato? It definitely wasn’t the working out…

“Same time tomorrow?” He asked when he pulled up outside your door and stopped the engine. He sounded fine, natural and breezy. Hopefully he hadn’t caught onto your awkwardness but quite possibly he was just good at hiding it.

You forced a smile. If he could be unaffected, so could you. “I’ll be there fighting fit.”

He smiled dubiously. “I won’t hold my breath.”

“Hey,” you shot quietly, feeling better now despite his doubt in your ability.

“I start at 4, finish at 8.”

You nodded, stepping out onto the sidewalk and waved him goodbye. “Bye, Seokjin.” He sounded soft when he copied, your name almost hushing from his lips. You felt a tug in your chest. You needed water. You were dehydrated.

And that was the story of how Seokjin became your very own personal trainer. Or so he liked to call it. He didn’t particularly help whatsoever. Just ordered you about and then laughed at you when you struggled. “I could get you fired for this,” you’d shot this evening, sweat pouring down your temples as you’d basically crawled off the rowing machine.

“And I could get you banned for flirting with the staff,” had been his comeback. “Maybe arrested for stalking too.”

Despite your initial affronted expression, you couldn’t help but laugh. Something had changed recently between the two of you. Maybe you were just getting a lot more comfortable given all the time you spent together. Maybe it was something else. You didn’t know and you didn’t really want to dwell too much on it. Seokjin was a flirt after all, and you were okay with that. You didn’t mind joking around with him.

If you were being honest, you didn’t mind anything when it came to him. Which was why you were willing to practically cripple yourself in order to carry on going to the gym. Sometimes when Seokjin wasn’t getting paid to step foot into the gym, he went with you anyway and you got to sneak a peek as he worked out too. You were only human after all, and Seokjin still had a body that made your mind susceptible to dirty thoughts. You now understood what he meant about being unable to stop things popping into his head. But it was fine. Natural and expected to an extent. Seokjin was your friend, and just your friend, like you’d already insisted to Lina.

“This is the worst.”

You heard Seokjin snicker a bit behind you, having fallen back a few steps while he checked his cellphone. Whose bright idea was it to walk to and from the gym, and today of all days? “You’re walking like you’ve shit yourself.”

You snapped your neck around. If looks could kill. “Shut up.” You’d storm off but it hurt too much so all you could do was attempt to speed hobble. Seokjin soon caught up up.

“I told you not to row a kilometre.” Condescending as usual. “It was your first time. That shit burns if you’re not used to it.”

“Already?” You whimpered. Usually it took until the next day, a few hours at least, until the burn was apparent. You were a goddamn fool. Who knew pulling back and forth repeatedly could fuck you up so bad. “What am I going to be like tomorrow?”

You wanted at least some sympathy but you didn’t get it. “Worse.” The most casual of shrugs. “You’ve used muscles you don’t usually work.”

“I’ve used muscles I didn’t know I had!”

He laughed at that. Genuinely amused. “You’re a weakling. You need to gain some strength and stamina. It doesn’t come automatically. If you want those abs you need to be working out every day. Maybe go running in the morning, cycling… ” You groaned as he spoke. You hadn’t ridden a bike in years. Why was there so much work to look good? Seokjin made it look effortless, the dick.

He laughed again. This time lower but closer to you, his breath puffing against the back of your neck as he took you by surprise and gripped your waist with his hands. “C’mon, let me help you. Guide you.” Patronising. You wanted to tell him that but your mouth wasn’t working. You walked as he did, letting him escort you down the remaining length of the sidewalk with a gentle push.

“Four more steps forward. Turn left to be met with your apartment door. Up the two steps.” Lifting your legs awkwardly, he brushed into you, crotch against your ass. You were going to hell. Your mind went to places embarrassingly quickly.

“Keys.” You were suddenly cold when he removed his hands from you to search through your bag. Just for your hand to be met with the familiar warmth as he cupped it. It took you a moment to realise he’d pressed the key into your palm. He sighed. Thankfully mistaking your airhead for post-workout soreness. “I’ll do it then.” He guided your hand to the door. “Forward. Insert into hole.”

“Oh my god.” You couldn’t help but mutter that one. At least there was a part of your brain still working… The incredibly perverted part, but a part nonetheless.

“Do you have to make everything so dirty?” He looked down at you, dramatic judgement in his tone. You felt him twist the key in your hand, opening the door. He looked you dead in the eyes as he spoke again. “Turn and open wide. Well done!”

That was definitely on purpose. You could tell by the smirk that couldn’t help but sneak its way on his face. You’d chew his ear off but he was immediately getting behind you again, wrapping his arms around your middle and before you knew it he was lifting you up, ignoring your squealing as you clutched onto his hands. “Now to get your poor frail body through the threshold.” There was an obvious fake strain to his voice as he did so and it was over in seconds, putting you down as soon as he’d raised you a few inches off the ground.

You rounded on him immediately. “I regret inviting you over if I knew you were going to be such a jackass.”

He raised his hands up as a peace offering. “This is all just very amusing to me.”

You couldn’t be bothered to argue, making your way to the couch to collapse onto (slowly, if possible), and let your body just buzz. You couldn’t tell if it was the muscles you didn’t know you had contracting, or if it was the lingered feeling of Seokjin’s hands on your body… That sounded pathetic. “I’m never moving,” you declared loudly, speaking truth but also trying to distract yourself.

Seokjin watched you and chuckled, shaking his head slowly. “I’ll get you something to drink.”

“Alcohol!” You shouted (unnecessarily, it was a one room apartment after all…) as he walked a little way forward to your kitchenette. “And chips. Fuck the healthy diet. I need sustenance.”

You switched on the television as Seokjin pottered away, opening cupboards as he searched for something suitable. It was cute how he knew where your drinking glasses were kept and where you kept your snacks. Maybe he never forgot from before…

“There you go,” he said, dropping a bag of chips into your lap from above. You opened them immediately, feasting like you hadn’t eaten all day. “Will this do? It’s all you had.” You looked up at him, seeing him holding a green bottle. When he spoke again he sounded uncertain. “Sour apple?”

You wrinkled your nose. “It’s nasty stuff. Give it to me!”

He laughed at your outstretched arm and sat next to you, reaching for the drinking glass under his arm so he could pour you some. He passed it to you and you took a tentative sip, the familiar sickly and artificial taste making you wince. But you needed something to ease those poor muscles of yours, and because you weren’t a major drinker, this was all your stupid self had hiding away in your cupboards.

You watched Seokjin sniff inside the bottle just as cautious but for some reason he took a giant swig, making a loud noise of objection as soon as the liquid slipped down his throat. “Ew. What the fuck is that?! It’s vile.”

“Right? It’s gross,” you agreed, chuckling as he stuck out his tongue, and it was already toxic waste green. “It made me throw up like crazy a few months back.” Funny, you still remembered (bits of) that night when Yoongi had looked after you, but the memories no longer made you feel sad, dejected. That was indeed a good thing. You took your own sniff, now dubious. “It’s not too old, right?”

“Nah, should be fine,” he shrugged, taking another sip. He winced all the way through it. “I think you’re supposed to make cocktails with it, or at least shots.”

You eyed your generously poured glass. “Go big or go home, huh?”

“You are home,” he commented, thinking he was clever. You went to kick him, forgetting your legs were fucked up and yelled out. Seokjin chuckled, grabbing your ankles one by one so he could lift your legs over his lap. “I guess this is my fault as your personal trainer and all,” he teased, beginning to rub one of your calves with his free hand. You didn’t have time to freak out about the physical contact this time around, because in all honesty, the sensation felt amazing for your poor, hurt muscles.

He continued for a little while until he got bored (called it), but you kept your legs there. After all, he hadn’t pushed them away, and like you said, it was helping your muscles… You don’t know why them being on his lap specifically helped, it was all probably psychological, but whatever, for once you weren’t going to overthink things.

Soon enough sporadic sips of the toxic waste became too much and you pulled a face, groaning loudly. “I’m beginning to feel a little sick.”

“Yeah, let’s stop,” he agreed, all while taking one last glug that made you giggle when he stuck his tongue out in disgust. He smiled at you, seemingly amused by something. You didn’t know what. Himself? Seemed about right. You were going to ask when he huffed your legs from him and took your glass from your hand as he stood up. “Not worth it. The stuff feels like it’s swimming in my veins.” You watched him walk towards your sink, looking over his shoulder to shoot you a question as he hovered the bottle over the basin. “May I?” You nodded, glad to see the back of the green liquid as it poured down the drain.

“Noodles?” He suggested shortly after.

“Please.” Maybe it would help get rid of the awful taste inside your mouth. You were dumb for even considering the drink once again. Thankfully, Seokjin also poured you a glass of water, which you downed in one go, sicky feeling leaving you as you munched on the slightly hard ramen.

Somewhere along the line, Seokjin took the remote from between your bodies and started browsing through Netflix. You complained about how even though there was so much choice you could never find anything new to watch. You’d watched everything good. He listened to you politely, a slight smile on his face because by now you were tired, you could tell, your words seeping into one another, or maybe it was that evil drink seeping into your brain. Never again.

In the end you suggested something he’d surely protest to. Angsty teenage vampires didn’t seem his thing, but shockingly he agreed to the first episode of The Vampire Diaries. You didn’t even have to try and persuade him with a little backstory, about how it used to be your favourite show back in high school. You warned him within the first two seconds that if he wasn’t Team Damon, he could leave your apartment right this instant and never come back. Thankfully he agreed that Damon was far hotter than Stefan, so it all worked out perfectly. You knew you could always count on Seokjin.

You didn’t make it through to the end. Your noodles sat on your coffee table half eaten, your head having fallen onto Seokjin’s shoulder, eyes half closed. Could very well be near dribbling knowing your luck. Not that he seemed to care. He let you snooze on him, his arm crushed into your side, his warmth making you all that cosier. Honestly, a nice blanket draped over the two of you could do the trick right now. You could really fall asleep, and fall asleep good. However, just as that was happening it was all over, Seokjin shaking you gently, telling you the episode had finished.

“What time is it?” You asked, voice thick, eyes heavy.

He checked his phone, chuckling. “11pm.”

You groaned, lifting your head and rubbed your eyes. “God, I’m old.”

He laughed harder. “I can’t believe the gym fucked you up already. I think you should get to bed.”

“Can’t move remember.” Your thighs and calves felt even more stiff now. Call you dramatic, but the thought of moving seemed like the worst thing in the world. Why couldn’t you have just slept on Seokjin’s shoulder all night? He was such a spoil sport. You were going to tell him that before he jumped to his feet, standing in front of you and leaving you confused.

“I’ll just have to carry you then.” He said matter-of-factly, and you didn’t have another second to process his words before he was hooking one arm under your knees, one around your back and lifting you effortlessly.

“Oh my god,” you squealed, instinctively wrapping your arms around his neck and clutching on for dear life.

He strained a groan as he straightened his back, taking a few staggered steps backwards, catching his balance, before he turned and began in the direction of your bed. “You’re so lucky the journey isn’t far.”

The noise that left you could only be described as indignant as you slapped between his shoulder blades. How dare he be so dramatic, but trust karma to always pull through. He lost his footing and tripped as he climbed the platform that held your bed. He managed to drop you down unscathed albeit for the sudden shock of your back bouncing against mattress, but he also went with you, palms pressing into the sheets, caging your body with his. All he needed was to swing your legs up, cage them in too. As it would, they hung limply off the bed, just as dazed as you.

The thought entered your mind immediately and wouldn’t leave. You used to love being under him. Even when you looked up at him, assuming he’d gain his bearings and move away. He didn’t. You mean, he eased up a little, hands no longer either side of your head, but somehow they found their way to your hips, urging you too lift your legs onto the bed. You did so silently, not taking your eyes from him. It was strange. One of you should have said something by now. Seokjin should have joked around, apologised for being clumsy. You should have moaned at him, whined he could have killed you. But there was none of that.

Instead he gave you a small smile, looking down at you. “Your breath stinks of apple and your tongue is so green.”

You weren’t expecting that. It caught you off guard and just like that, the moment was over. Ruined maybe, but you wouldn’t let yourself think like that. You didn’t want to think about how Seokjin’s voice sounded all soft and gentle. Like something you’d never heard before, not even when he used to be between your legs similar to this, but naked and sweaty. Sure, you’d heard his voice needy and low many a time, but never like this. This was something else. He was cautious but couldn’t help himself. He was nervous but wanted to hide it.

You listened. “Yours does too.” You whined, your voice now sounding alien as you twisted your head, trying to get away from the sour apple but in the process getting away from him. Nothing personal, you were just afraid you were going crazy.

Still caged under him, his hands still around your hips, you were still hyperaware of his touch and the air was almost a little suffocating, even if you were just imagining it. Your idea proved futile anyway, because you could feel his breath against your neck now, and that was way, way worse. Until maybe he suddenly realised how questionable this position looked, or maybe it really was no big deal, and he moved away naturally, the warmth of his palms leaving your body as he slipped to the side of you, lifting his feet from the floor to slide his legs under him to sit down.

You stretched your legs out, now welcoming the ache because it distracted you. You also welcomed the cool air because your skin felt hot and itchy. You tried to read Seokjin’s face for anything that told you he was feeling the same way. His cheeks were a little flushed and just peeking out from under the collar of his t-shirt was an equally red patch. For the first time in a long time, probably since you’d embarked on this serious friendship mission, you felt a little awkward in his presence, and that made you feel guilty. You were the problem. Nothing had happened just now, it was all in your head, and he could probably feel how awkward you were being. You clenched your jaw, making a decision right then and there. Everything was normal.

“Yeah, think abs aren’t for me,” you said as casually as you could muster lying about half a metre down your bed as Seokjin sat next to you. “I much prefer my rolls.”

It seemed to work. He looked semi relieved you were making conversation and laughed. “You don’t have rolls, shut the fuck up.”

“I do!” You insisted, wide eyed. “Look!” You reached a hand under your shirt to squeeze the skin, flashing him your stomach, which now, in hindsight, seemed like a bad idea.

Although you were probably looking into it too much because he gave it one fleeting glance and rolled his eyes. “You really don’t.” There, that told you. You pulled a face as you smoothed your t-shirt back down.

“I can’t believe you’re quitting after not even two weeks. At least stick it out for the month you paid for.”

You groaned, knowing he was right but not wanting to listen. You were done with the gym. All it did was hurt and mess with your mind. If you hadn’t seen Seokjin working out these past few days you wouldn’t be in this predicament right now. Another one of your bright ideas that turned out to be dumb. Really dumb. “I’m tired.”

He chuckled under his breath. “I’ll go. Leave you to sleep.”

He’d misunderstood. You weren’t tired in that sense. You mean, you had been not ten minutes ago, but now you were still high on the rush of that internal panic. No, you were tired of thinking. Everything had been fine a couple of weeks ago. You were over your break up with Yoongi, finally at peace with everything that had gone on. Life was good, college, work, friends, and then Lina had to open her big mouth and now you were back to almost square one. Your brain wouldn’t switch off. You couldn’t really tell Seokjin that though. Sorry, no, I meant tired of overthinking every little second that me and you share. I’m tired of maybe, potentially questioning this friendship for no good reason. Sorry to make it awkward… It didn’t sound good, did it?

“You don’t have to go. Stay.” Fuck. The words were out before you could stop them. Like your mind was working without you. “It’s late now. I don’t want you to walk home in the dark.”

He shot you a look that told you he thought you’d lost it. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Plus, your couch is so uncomfy. I can’t do it a second time.”

“You can sleep here.” That damn mouth of yours. “In my bed.” You were making it worse each time you opened it. Why were you inviting him into your bed?!

Sure, it could be taken as innocent, probably would any other day, but the look in his eyes as he stared at you, definitely trying to read your expression, find something in your tone, told you he was slowly picking up on something here. Your awkwardness again.

“Top to tail?” He finally asked, and you nodded quickly. Probably too quickly.

“If you want.”

He narrowed his eyes. You got nervous. “You’re a little drunk. I can tell.”

“Am not.” You shook your head. Maybe the damn drink had made you sleepy earlier, but you definitely weren’t drunk. You wish. Although… this could potentially be a blessing in disguise. Could explain your weird behaviour. You’d be the girl who got drunk off a handful of sips of alcohol if it meant having a free pass.

“Are to,” he insisted, but something told you he was also pretending. It made it easier to say no to you. “I can’t accept your offer. You might live to regret waking up to my feet in your face.”

“I don’t think I will.” You didn’t regret a thing where he was concerned. That thought seemed to glow in the forefront of your mind suddenly.

“Better to be on the safe side.”

You scoffed, but deep down you couldn’t help but feel a little dejected. Which was stupid because did you really want Seokjin to sleep in your bed? What would happen if he did? Did you want something to happen? You fleeted back to how nice it had been to fall asleep on his shoulder earlier, fleeted back to his lingering touch on your body when he’d tripped… That intimacy, if you could call it that, that familiarity was still itching at your skin, and you could quite honestly say right now, that if Seokjin ended up sharing your bed tonight, you didn’t know what would happen.

Not that he wanted to sleep next to you. That much was obvious. He was looking for a way to decline and the idea of you being drunk was a little farfetched but successful. Seokjin didn’t want you like that anymore, and that was okay. You were friends and you were happy with that. You liked it and you didn’t want to ruin things, because sometimes you had a tendency to ruin everything. Or at least it seemed like you did…

You watched him shuffle off your bed, you lifting your legs up so his feet could hit the floor. “I’ll text you when I get home. Just to let you know.” He teased, lips attempting to quash his amused smile.

“Seokjin, wait,” you called, sitting up too to grab him by the wrist as he moved to stand up. He turned back, waiting – and you swear this – almost hopefully. The moment was back, if just for a millisecond. He was waiting for you to say something, but not out of manners, out of hope. He was hoping you’d say something. Just what?

Did he want you to persuade him to stay, to beg him? If you knew he wanted that, you’d give it to him. You always could persuade him well… And if he wanted to spend the night, how was up to him. You wouldn’t think of the consequences, of the the damage it could cause between you two. You’d just act in the moment, because if truth be told, your skin was still hot, still itchy, tingling now, with the sudden wonder, and there was an urge in your gut you hadn’t felt for a long time…

However, you didn’t say anything, or do anything. You couldn’t. Not when you were so unsure about his intentions, your intentions. You swallowed and smiled, letting go of his wrist to point towards your wicker chair. “Can you pass me my pyjamas?”

And that was that. The moment was over again. “Sure.” Seokjin smirked back, the smallest of laughs leaving him as he rose and grabbed them, handing them too you quickly. If he was disappointed, he hid it well.

Not long after, he was gone, the click of the apartment door ringing in your ears. The silence didn’t really bring you clarity.

“Don’t be moody.” You told Seokjin, fighting back your laughter. You could still make out his pout in the darkness of your apartment. “Ikea furniture gets to the best of us. No need to sulk.”

“I’m not being moody,” he insisted but the tension in his voice told you otherwise. “The bed is fucking stupid!” You finally let yourself giggle, unable to stop as you sat up in your makeshift bed—a mattress on the floor because the frame laid discarded against the wall, screws and bolts strewn across the floor.

You could see Seokjin’s look of disbelief even in the dim glow of the street lamps outside. He shut you up with his mouth. You weren’t expecting that, but let it happen anyway. Letting him push you onto your back again and clamber over your body. You continued to laugh between each glide of his mouth though, hands running down his back.

He pulled away, whining lowly. “Why are you still laughing?”

“It’s just funny.” You upturned your shoulders. “You trying to act all cool and collected when you’re mad as hell.” You’d never seen Seokjin angry or frustrated before so this was all very brand new and amusing to you.

He glared at you. “I’ll give you funny.” Your hips rolled obediently when you felt his hand slip inside your underwear, reattaching his mouth to yours. “—and mad,” he grunted into your mouth.

“Okay,” you replied easily, clutching onto him as his finger rubbed at your entrance before pushing carefully inside. After all, that’s what he’d been here for. He’d come over to build your bed and “christen” it as he’d so lovely put it. You’d only just moved in to your own place and you were beyond ecstatic to have your own space, and so was Jin, because, and this was in his own words, “Great, a new place to fuck.”

You guessed the details didn’t matter, he was still christening your new bed. The mattress was the most important part. Who cared if Seokjin couldn’t follow a simple set of instructions. You weren’t judging him…honest… Besides, the sex like this was amazing. He had a lot of pent up frustration to get rid of and you gladly took it.

“We’re not making a sound,” he groaned, your legs wrapped around his waist as he kneeled and fucked into you hard and fast. Your shorts were hanging off one ankle, his t-shirt stretched at the neck where you’d tugged it out of shape. “Who knew n-no bedframe was the answer to quiet sex.” You moaned loudly in response, unable to give him anything else.

“Still making you moan though,” he almost menaced, reaching for your ankles to push your legs forward, dick slipping deeper, about to penetrate your gut and kill you if he wasn’t careful. The noises that left you sounded crazed. He cocked an eyebrow, still as smug as ever despite the slack jaw and heavy breathing. “What will your neighbours think?”

“I’m going to kill you,” you attempted to seethe, nearly biting down on your bottom lip. As if you wanted to be known to your new neighbours as the girl who had sex loudly.

He just laughed, hands on your hips now as he began to jerk you. “Flip over,” he grunted, slipping out of you as he successfully rolled you onto your front. You spread your legs, desperate to have his dick inside you immediately, and when he pushed inside you moaned low, muffling it as best you could with your pillow.

He soon picked up his pace once more, merciless now, and you tried so fucking hard not to cry out, your moans lodging in your throat, body tense as you tried to control every nerve in your body. It was all slick noises and the thud of his hips hitting your ass and finally his frustration began to leave his body. “Stupid—fucking—ikea—bed,” he growled, thrusting harder into you after every word.

God. That was it. “S-seokjin,” you almost begged. He was just so deep and hard. You could feel him everywhere, just getting wetter with each grunt that pushed its way from your throat. “You’re gonna make me cum–d-don’t stop.”

“Am I making you feel good?” He demanded, fingers digging into your ass with the effort of keeping up. He was terribly out of breath now, his only motivation was to make you cum. He couldn’t slow down, not when you were so close.

“So good,” you said through held breath. You were pushed so flat to the mattress your clit was getting its fair share too, and you closed your eyes tight, seeing stars as you let yourself jump over the edge. “So, so, so good.”

You came hard. Like so hard your ass twitched. He liked that. His sweaty hands digging into the flesh as he caressed you, thrusts ceasing because he couldn’t take the nonstop pulsing around his cock. He pulled out shortly after, one hand jerking himself off while the other slapped down on your flesh. “Wanna cum on that perfect little ass of yours.”

You moaned, raising yourself up a little to tease him and it wasn’t long before you felt the warm droplets of his cum dirty your flesh. “Fuck,” he grunted, needing a moment to come to before you heard him shuffle about. And then a whine. “You don’t have anything to clean up with.”

Well, no. You wouldn’t. This was your first night here. If you didn’t have a bed, you didn’t have tissues on a nightstand. “Not the instruction manual,” you warned when you heard the familiar sounds of paper rustling. “My dad has to come over tomorrow and fix your mess.”

“Oi.” He whined, but listened, throwing the manual back on the floor. You rolled your eyes when you felt him rub his cum into your skin with the head of his dick. He was just making more mess now, that wasn’t going to clean you up. He realised soon enough and stood up quickly. “I’ll be right back.”

You let your body relax as he went to the bathroom after some toilet paper, comfy and still vibrating a little from the bliss of your orgasm. Your bare ass was getting a little cold though. Thankfully Seokjin wasn’t too long and he wiped up the mess he’d made pretty quickly. When you finally rolled over to see him walking back from your trash can, you couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of him naked from the waist down.

“Why are you laughing at me now?” He pouted, sounding genuinely paranoid. That bed frame had really fucked with his head.

“Sorry,” you apologised, trying to compose yourself. “You’re just…naked. It looks funny.”

He frowned, still suspicious. “You’ve seen me naked hundreds of times.” Nevertheless, he still stretched his t-shirt down over his crotch, hiding his modesty as he crawled back to you.

“Yeah, but it was just…SWINGING there,” you giggled, starting up again.

“Well, yeah, that’s what dicks do.” He almost grumbled. If you didn’t know any better you’d say he was embarrassed. You went to whisper another sorry but then he wrapped his arms around you, squeezing your back (maybe a bit too) tightly to his chest. You stretched your arm behind him to pinch his butt. “Stop!” He warned, but you could feel his grin against your neck as he kissed you.

You closed your eyes, smiling to yourself. You were so cosy and warm now, happy and sated. You could really fall asleep like this. Seokjin’s arms around you, his breath against your skin. The feeling in our chest was hard to explain. At the tip of your tongue, yet never coming. Annoyingly he moved away to fall onto his back as soon as you were trying to place the emotion and you snapped your eyes open having lost it all together. You grabbed your phone on the floor next to you to check the time. It was 1am. Seokjin really had been here trying to make the bed for nearly 3 hours before he’d given up. You should have just asked your father over in the first place… But you couldn’t tell Jin that, couldn’t bear to hurt his feelings. Bless.

“We should make the most of the next few hours…” You suggested casually. His groan told you he didn’t agree. He was tried and half asleep. Too tired to start his usual spiel about his dick falling off because you made him fuck you too often. “I knew a guy who ended up in hospital once because he fucked his girlfriend 14 times in a weekend.” Seemed unbelievable. Both ending up in hospital, and having sex over a dozen times in a 48 hour period, but whatever. Seokjin was talking bullshit like usual, because even though he moaned and groaned, he was always the first to initiate the fucking. Example: tonight. You just liked to plant the seed. Example: right now…

“It was fun.” You whined. “I think I should just say fuck it to the bed and sleep on this groan proof mattress.”

“Hm. I don’t know. The springs will give out soon enough, and how would you explain it to your parents?” He replied. That was true. Your parents didn’t even know Seokjin existed. Which meant that you had to take the fall for this tomfoolery tonight. Pretend you spent hours trying to screw some planks of wood together… You loved looking like an idiot. But you digressed…

“But I can still smash up the bed frame for you?” He added, sounding hopeful. Finally admitting his anger. “Fucking piece of shit.”

Sleep didn’t give you clarity either. You woke up with a hazy mind, unsure if you were dreaming the memory or just playing it out in your head again as you slowly came to. Half awake, half dreaming. It was almost fitting that you remembered back to that night, like your subconscious was messing with you. If you let your mind wonder more, you were certain it was your favourite memory with Seokjin. You didn’t know why. It was really nothing special. By then you’d had sex too many times to count. They should’ve ended up blurring into one, but there were a handful that stood out. This one more than the rest. Something about the way he’d wanted to help you, even if it was a total fail. You remembered thinking somewhere in the back of your mind, while he was fucking you into your poor mattress, It’s not just sex to him. Ironic, but true. That night should’ve shown you how kind Seokjin could be. Or how kind he was. He didn’t choose as and when to be considerate, the opportunity had just never really presented itself before. You’d never needed a bed building before…

Ugh. You were a mess. You’d truly thought a good nights sleep would do you good, but no, your mind was still restless and your body ached even more from the night before. You shouldn’t be thinking of the past. Not when things were so good right now, so different. Your friendship with Seokjin worked, it made you happy, but on the outside looking in, was it considered normal? You didn’t think so. Don’t get you wrong, many girls had male friends. You had a couple you spoke to regularly and sometimes hung out with, but that was always in groups. You didn’t have one who you messaged every single day and hung out with alone. You didn’t have one like that until you met Seokjin. Before that, the guy you’d just described had been Yoongi. Perhaps that description better defined a relationship? Texting good morning, going to the mall together, other places, could be the gym, binge watching Netflix… That could be defined as a boyfriend… It was a stereotype, a stupid one, but it made sense. Especially for Seokjin and you who had a history. Come on, past fuck buddies turned best friends forever? It didn’t seem very believable… Maybe you’d been kidding yourself all this time…

Or maybe you hadn’t. Regardless of finer, often ignored, details, the bare foundations of your “relationship” had been about sex. This time was different. You could enjoy one another’s company without the sex, and it felt good. It felt more than good. Last night, your legs on his lap, and then your head on his shoulder, it was a comfort you didn’t know you’d been searching for. It’s what clouded your mind, made you all confused when you’d suggested he stay the night…in your bed.

That platonic intimacy was all well and good but you couldn’t let it ruin what you had with Seokjin at the moment. Like you said, it worked for not only you, but obviously him too. You’d crossed the line last night and embarrassingly you probably knew the reason why. It was simple really and even more simple to just deal with as you reached for your bedside drawer and pulled out something discreet and pink… There was no better way to clear a frazzled brain than a good orgasm. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d powered up your vibrator. Classes were full, work was tiring, you were busy… It made sense. To blame it on sexual frustration. Seokjin was still as handsome as ever and watching him work out in the gym would fuck with the strongest mind.

Yes, an orgasm a day kept those thirsty thoughts away… Facts. That’s what you told yourself, and that’s what you believed.

Seokjin Marathon tonight? We can easily get through six episodes

You 🤙😜 bring chips

Seokjin Pls stop using emojis You text like my mom 🙇🏻‍♂️

Not a week later and somehow you and Seokjin had found yourself down a deep and dark Vampire Diaries hole… Shockingly he seemed more into it that you, which amused you to no end. Thankfully you hadn’t sent him running for the hills after your stunt that night after the gym. Maybe he put it down to you being totally disoriented due to the pain of your aching muscles. Maybe he did truly think you were drunk off half a glass of toxic waste. Or maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t noticed anything and you were just being paranoid, deluded, stupid… The list was endless.

It helped you, consoled your worries because you didn’t have to try your hardest to act normal around him if nothing really happened. Things were normal, like you’d never asked him to spend the night in your bed. You didn’t ask him again and Seokjin made sure to ride his car to your place after that. Maybe there was nothing behind it, but yeah, now you didn’t really have a reason to ask him to stay… Even though sometimes you wanted him too, and not even like that. You just wanted to spend every waking moment with him. It was pretty frightening because you didn’t know what it meant…

Your vibrator was doing its job to curb those pesky sexual urges of yours but there was nothing really on the market to curb those weird…needy urges of yours. Needy for some affection and warmth that Seokjin seemed to radiate. Your bodies sat closer together each night you hung out. Your legs seemed to find their way onto his lap when you wanted to stretch out and your head found his shoulder every single time you nodded off to sleep… It was like you were magnetised together, or not… It was more so that it came natural to you two. Natural after all these weeks of being back in one another’s lives, and natural after the history you had together…

You told yourself it was okay, because your need for him wasn’t that raw, sexual type from before. No, it was something else. Something you couldn’t put your finger on. Not that you tried. It was better to not know. What you couldn’t understand couldn’t ruin everything, and you and Seokjin were fine like this. It was easy to ignore if you got to hang out with him like this regularly. If you got to joke with him and talk with him and touch him… It was easy to ignore when you had everything right in front of your eyes. Blissfully ignorant to the warmth in your chest every time you saw him. Blissfully ignorant to the pounding of your heart every time you felt his fingertips on your skin. You guessed your mind was helping your heart not get fucked over again. Or maybe you were just plain dumb…

“I think I’m all vampire love angst-ed out for tonight,” Seokjin yawned, letting his head fall back on your couch.

You agreed. Binging a series was all well and good but soon enough you lost concentration. “I can find something else?” You suggested, getting ready to scroll through the homepage as you moved your legs from his lap to curl them under you.

Immediately he reached for one of your feet, massaging it absentmindedly. Maybe past you would have teased him for having a secret foot fetish but you didn’t dare to ruin it tonight. You were positive he didn’t even realise he was doing it which made it feel even better. It was such a natural, affectionate thing and you didn’t want to point it out in case he stopped. There you went again… New label: affection whore.

“I don’t think I can concentrate on anything else,” he chuckled groggily. “We ploughed through seven episodes. It’s nearly 2am.”

“Mhm.” You agreed, letting your head fall back too. You both looked over at one another. His hair was getting longer again, falling in his eyes. “I’m not tired though.”

He smiled. “You aren’t?” Smiled harder when you shook your head adamantly. Sleep meant Seokjin would go home, and these days you didn’t want that at all. “Want me to stay for a little longer then?”

You tried to play it cool, lifting your head straight as you nodded at his gentle voiced suggestion. “If you want.” Inside you were ecstatic.

He sat up straight too, pulling his phone from his pocket. “Yeah, I can do it. Don’t have class until 3.” You felt guilty. Maybe he didn’t even want to stay any longer, but now his hand was wrapped around the top of your knee, his body leaning into you and it felt so good you stopped worrying. “Aw. How cute.” He cooed, and it took you a moment to understand what he was on about, looking in the direction of his cellphone.

“Why are you scrolling through my IG?!” You exclaimed immediately, seeing a picture of eight-year-old you on the screen when #tbt was still a thing… Was it still a thing…?

“It’s funny,” he shrugged.

“It’s embarrassing.”

You had to watch him scroll through your entire feed, picking on random pictures to laugh at. For some reason you found yourself a little nervous. No need to be, there was nothing incriminating on there. In fact, you never really used the app, didn’t have many photos on there. Especially now that you’d already deleted a handful that contained Yoongi. You’d taken the plunge to delete the memories a while back, feeling more positive about it. They were only pictures.

“What is this?” Seokjin laughed, tilting the screen your way.

He was greatly amused by your silly display in the image, Yumi pretending to strangle you with her own hair in some stranger’s grubby kitchen. “Oh god.” You groaned. For two reasons. 1. The face you were pulling was really embarrassing, and 2. That was the night that changed everything. Because of that night, you were here right now. “That’s the night me and you first…y’know…” You didn’t know why you were telling him that. He had no clue, and it was best not to rake up the past, but for some reason it felt like you needed to say it.

“Really?” He asked, eyes widening as the shock formed on his face. He flipped the screen his way again, looking over the picture with a small smile.

He looked almost wistful. It made something in your stomach tighten. You needed to ignore it, forcing your voice to sound offended when you spoke next. “You can’t remember what I was wearing?!”

His eyes widened yet again, his mouth downturning comically. For some reason he’d missed your sarcasm. “How the hell am I supposed to remember that?”

“Just teasing,” you giggled, giving him a nudge with your elbow. He relaxed, shaking his head to himself, and you stayed there, nestled by his side.

“Damn.” He mused. “That seems like a life time ago now but it’s not really.”

You nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing. “Nearly a year.” It had seemed a long time ago once upon a time, now, not at all. So much had happened between then and now, but then, not really… After all, you were still here with him. Just differently now.

Silence seemed to blanket over you, as if you were both mulling the past over. A part of you was itching to know what he was thinking – if he was at all, but another part of you began to get a little uncomfortable at the unspoken. It was like that lately. As if you wanted him to tell you something. Did he want to tell you something? Or was it all in your head? Sometimes you wanted to tell him things… You just didn’t know what. It was like your brain wouldn’t let you make sense of how your heart was feeling. So like usual, you changed the direction of the conversation.

“Oh. Wait! I have this app you can download if you’re bored.” He looked down at you as if you were mad. As if he could never be bored in your company, or maybe that was you wishful thinking. You shook yourself out of the deluded funk you were under and held out your hand. “Pass.” He dropped his phone in it obediently and you grabbed at his fingers, using his thumb to unlock it. They seemed to stick together for longer than needed before you spoke again and let him slide his hand away. “You know your birth info, right?”

He groaned quietly, head falling back as he eyed you, surprisingly knowing immediately where this was going. “Astrology.”

“Come on, it’s fun,” you insisted, opening the app store up to begin typing. “You make an account and add your friends. It tells you how compatible you are with them.”

He watched you as if you’d lost it. His voice matched. “You know things like that aren’t really true, right? The stars don’t control our personality traits. Life and choices do.”

You rolled your eyes. “That’s such a Sag thing to say.”

That seemed to make him change his tune. He sounded positively offended when he spoke next. “Excuse me. Don’t use my Sagittarius status against me.”

“If you’re so proud of it, you believe in it.”

It was his turn to roll his eyes, scoffing. “I don’t even know what it means. Please enlighten me, oh holy one.”

That silenced you. To be honest you didn’t know much about astrology either. You were a simple human that got excited over even simpler things. Having to listen to Lina blabber on and on about natal charts and houses and planets, and whatever else there was, while you just liked finding out if you were compatible with people… It wasn’t that serious. “I don’t know,” you mumbled lamely, much to Seokjin’s glee. He looked so smug he’d shut you up, you felt the urge to do the same to him pretty much jump out of you.

“Apparently Sags are free spirited. Don’t really do commitment. Figures.”

Those were honestly some of the most generic things you could have chosen, bound to get you beat by your own best friend, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and it seemed to do the trick regarding Seokjin anyway. Or, surprisingly, it worked a little too well. He sounded genuinely taken back. “Wow. Okay, that is a harmful stereotype. I can do commitment.”

Pretty sure he was joking, but also the last statement making you a little confused, if not just by the way his voice turned all high pitched, you continued to tease him. “Okay, Kim Seokjin who has never had a girlfriend in his life.”

He looked a little speechless at that, expression frozen as his mouth hung open. “That means nothing. So what if I’ve never been in a relationship before, I’m still a faithful person.”

You eyed him sceptically, semi aware you were pretty much bickering now. Bickering about astrology. Well, you’d wanted a diversion… “But you have nothing to base it on.” Committedly staying faithful to a fuck buddy wasn’t exactly the type of commitment you were on about, and even then, he hadn’t technically done that… Fuck. You thought of Sohee instantly. It was stupid, you’d already been through all that and it really was no big deal, but it still seemed to pop up in your mind. You said nothing of what you thought though, thankfully, and Seokjin was shaking his head to himself, not listening anymore anyway. “Astrology is bullshit. I’m sticking with it.”

You welcomed the break in conversation direction, but seemed to steer it in an even awkwarder one, because well, you were you. “Not all the time. Lina made a fake account for Yoongi and we really didn’t match well on most things.”

He sniggered. If a noise could both sound amused and condescending in one go, it was that one. “You really need astrology to tell you that?”

That silenced you. Maybe it was his tone, or maybe just what he said, but it made you feel a little stupid. Like possibly Yoongi and you had never really been right for one another and you’d just been deluded the whole time you’d dated. But also, what, Seokjin thought that the whole time too? He just watched you up and leave and attempt to have a relationship with Yoongi? Was he laughing behind your back this entire time?

“Okay. What do I need to do?”

Or maybe you were just too sensitive. There was no malice in his words, and there was no need to get so uptight about everything. He was smiling your way as he took his phone back and waited for your reply. He was going to use the damn app like you’d wanted him to.

You grinned triumphantly, happy he was complying finally, and shuffled back closer to him. Apparently the slight squabble had created some unnoticed distance. “Birthday. Place of birth. Oh,” you suddenly remembered. “Birth time… Do you know it?”

He looked at you through his bangs. “No. It’s not like I was mentally aware at barely minutes old.”

His sarcasm annoyed you and narrowing your eyes you pushed at his shoulder. “Ask your mom.”

“I am not going to get a reply at 2 in the morning.”

Oh. That was right… It was late. You’d forgotten. With Seokjin time seemed to pass you by alarmingly fast. You swore your bedtime used to be at a reasonable hour before this friendship happened.

“Don’t worry,” he chuckled, mistaking your expression. “I think I have an idea. It might be wrong though. What if one mistake tells us we’re mortal enemies?” You whacked his shoulder again and he hunched them, protecting himself as he typed in his info. “Okay, now what?” He asked when he was done and the screen loaded.

“That’s your natal chart.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

You ignored him in favour of snatching his phone to scroll through. Once again pretty much clueless to it all but able to find remarks anyway. “Ouch. Aries moon.”

“What’s that face for?” He practically worried, noticing your grimace.

You shrugged. “Not really a fan of Aries.”

“Hey.”

“You can’t be offended. You don’t believe, remember?” You shot playfully.

“Hmm,” he grumbled. “Doesn’t seem you like Sagittarius either…” God. Was he really upset over this? You fought the urge to call him cute. He probably wouldn’t appreciate it. Either that or wouldn’t let you live it down. “What do I do now? How can I find out if we’re compatible or not?”

“Add me.” You did just that for him, searching your username before passing his phone back to him and grabbing your own to accept his request. That’s when you got distracted, scrolling through your account instead to read your long-awaited compatibility. Seokjin’s phone held forgotten in his hand as he waited for your reactions. “Oh,” was all you gave him.

“What? Huh?” He sounded worried again. It wasn’t like it was a bad oh. Far from it in fact. But it was more of a shocked oh. This was much better than you’d had with anyone else. Much better than Lina. Much, much, much better than Yoongi… It wasn’t like you hadn’t been expecting it, but really it was just astrology… You know you’d fought Seokjin on the matter not ten minutes previous, but he did have a point… It wasn’t that serious… So why were you so happy right now? You were ecstatic over a damn astrology app because it told you that you got along well… Lame.

“Lemme see,” he whined, totally discarding his phone to grab yours instead. You let him, still a little lost in your own head, buzzing over nothing, and he scrolled dumbly. “We have a lot of smiley faces, is that good?”

There was a beat of silence, having to force yourself to make normal conversation again. “Yeah,” you smiled, leaning in to point at the screen. “We only have one conflicting aspect. Philosophies in life. That’s fine.” Seokjin seemed impressed, only you knew he secretly wasn’t having an internal breakdown over it like you. Your insides felt funny. No matter what you guys did, something always seemed to trigger your body into acting weird. Maybe astrological compatibility was a bad move. You were dumb.

“Sex and aggression? What?” He muttered to himself, reading the headings of each section in bemusement. The next thing you knew, he was grinning smugly at you. You waited in confusion. “Hello. It’s telling me our sexual chemistry is off the charts.”

“It is not,” you insisted, astonished he’d even say that out loud to you. Yes, there were times you skirted around your hook ups – the gym leggings always came to mind, when he basically admitted he’d checked out your ass – but as an unspoken rule, you didn’t speak about your past. Hell, you didn’t even speak much about sex in general. It wasn’t awkward, it seemed to work well, but now… Well, you’d done this to yourself, hadn’t you? Stupid fucking app…

Seokjin cocked an eyebrow. “What it wasn’t off the charts?” You went to reply no, that wasn’t what you meant, but stopped yourself. That would just make things worse, and by the look of the smirk on his face he wasn’t done teasing you anyway. He wiped it away and regarded you seriously. “Please don’t tell me you were faking it the whole time.”

“Eww,” you couldn’t help but exclaim, dragging the syllable out. Ahhh. You couldn’t believe this was happening. You could already feel your cheeks burning. The natural reaction to anything to do with sex and Seokjin these days. He picked up on it straight away.

“Don’t go red,” he grinned. “I know I was the best fuck you ever had. This app basically confirms it.”

“Oh, my god.” That’s all you could manage. Safe for wanting the ground to open up and swallow you and the couch, it’s all you could do. Those words had actually left his mouth, and now you were fucked. You’d be thinking about them for a long time. You shouldn’t be thinking of things like that when it came to friends. You tried to take a few hidden slow breaths, attempting to cool the scorching of your cheeks and sound normal when you spoke again. “Do you always have to speak about sex?”

Teasing on teasing, it was the best way to go. Just ignore everything else, like the reality of the situation and hide.

He answered, that shit eating grin still on his face. “Lies. I haven’t spoken about sex with you since we became friends.” Why did he say it like that, like he had it in quotations? You’d fucked up with this one, you should’ve just stuck to watching Vampire Diaries.

“You get all uptight and red. Look like you’re going to explode,” he continued, nudging you with his shoulder. You shook your head, refusing to look at his face now. “Like now,” he laughed. You’d proved his point beautifully, because yes, your head was about 0.5 seconds away from blowing right off your shoulders from pure panic and awkwardness. However, not only that, but you also had the awful sinking feeling you get when you knew you couldn’t hide from something anymore. It wasn’t really him you were hiding from, but yourself…

“What changed? You never used to get this embarrassed when I was—

“Stop right there,” you warned, jerking your head up to point at him, positive you’d keel over if he finished his sentence. That, or jump him. Your face was hot, yes, but so was your body. Between your legs was beginning to get that familiar glow. You couldn’t help it. The air had seemed to turn hot, stuffy, and despite your awkwardness over the conversation you were still very much sat tight to him, body curled in his direction. There was the whole of the couch but you two were crammed in one seat – like you had been all night.

“Okay,” he surrendered, hands up, resting his head against the cushions again, before a little smirk spread its way across his face. “This app just obviously knows what it’s talking about.”

You groaned instantly, defeated, turning to press your forehead into the back of the couch too. “I can’t with you.” You couldn’t do this. Make eye contact, have a conversation that was tiptoeing around edges you didn’t want to acknowledge. You were flustered, awkward, and something told you Seokjin was loving it. He loved having this effect on you.

“Really? Then tell me why you had sex with me way over a hundred times?”

“YOU KEPT COUNT?!” That did it. You were so momentarily shocked, head bursting up to stare at him, the awkwardness was gone, distracted away.

“No,” he replied, smiling almost sheepishly but still sounding unfazed. “It’s a guesstimate.”

“A guesstimate?” You repeated, unable to stop yourself from laughing. He liked that, laughing too as he poked your knees with his fingers absentmindedly. “Seokjin, do you keep a little black book? A tally chart?” You teased, voice low.

“No,” he insisted. “I’m just saying, we were hooking up for over four months. Now, not that we had sex every single day of those four months, because we didn’t. My dick would’ve fallen off, but there were times when you wanted me to fuck you multiple times in one night—”

You couldn’t help but interrupt him, scoffing in disbelief. “I wanted you to? More like you wanted to.” This was dangerous territory. You were enjoying yourself a little too much, forgetting yourself… Forgetting what you were so worried about.

He stared at you, sarcasm loud and clear. “Okay. Keep believing that.” He pulled his hand up to scratch at his forehead and it took you a moment to realise at some point you’d latched onto it. “But anyway.” He continued, “say there’s 30 days in one month. Multiply that by four and you get 120. I’m actually being very lenient. We definitely fucked more than a hundred times.”

“Oh my fucking god, you’re such a nerd,” you groaned. Your face still felt hot but the embarrassment had gone for the most part. No, it was something else… He was still a nerd though. An inaccurate nerd, but one nonetheless.

“It’s simple math.” He shrugged, seemingly unbothered as he went back to scrolling through the phone to continue reading. You watched him, hoping he couldn’t hear how loud your heart was beating in your chest. The adrenaline was pumping through your veins scarily fast. For what?

“Our way of loving is very compatible,” he nodded to himself, sounding like some sort of professor making sense of his findings.

You whined. “Quit concentrating on the sex.” Did he want you to start remembering back? That wasn’t a good idea, nor was it a good idea for the batteries in your vibrator. The thought almost made you cringe. You were twisted. Sick and twisted. Hope Seokjin was happy with himself.

“I’m not! It keeps coming up!” He enraged, huffing softly to himself as he began to read again. You smiled. “Okay. How about this?” Obviously he’d been searching for something else. Something more substantial. “The way we grow and dream are aligned. That’s deep.”

You smiled harder. “I thought you didn’t believe in astrology.”

He upturned a shoulder. “I don’t. It’s just funny how they know our hook ups were pretty amazing.”

“Seokjin!” You hit his chest. This wasn’t fair.

“You’ve turned red again.”

“No wonder.” However, it wasn’t due to any type of mortification like he probably thought. You were just very…uncomfortable, if that made sense. There was no longer a glow between your legs, but a burn. “Stop. What is with you tonight?” You whined. “You’re tired. You’re talking without a filter.”

It probably wasn’t that. Usually careful, like you’d said, tonight was different. Very different. Similar to how you used to act when you were having sex with one another. What had gotten into him, and why did it feel like you were getting your hopes up? You were slightly nervous. Slightly scared. Slightly excited. Hopeful...

“Nah.” He shook his head casually. “The app is just inflating my ego.”

That was it. You threw your hands at him again, pushing at his chest in a bid to shut him up once and for all. He couldn’t just tease you and get away with it. It was grossly unfair. You were sensitive. Somewhere was sensitive to this kind of behaviour. Always had been.

“Stop hitting me,” he yelled, indignant and dramatic, making you laugh.

He grabbed a hold of your hands, stopping you from doing anymore damage to his precious body, but when you fought back he pushed you down, squashing you into the arm of the couch. Defenceless and at his mercy as he began tickling under your arms. You stammered his name, unable to do much else between the gasps of breath and high-pitched giggling, but he didn’t relent, leaning into you as he laughed along, sofa beginning to squeak under the avid movement, ticking whatever he could reach now.

“J-Jin, stop—STOP,” you managed to finally shriek, trying your best to wriggle away from him. You stopped trying to fight his fingers in favour of going for something more sensitive. His nipples. In your defence, you were being attacked. You pinched one of them, missing the other while roaring, “You know I’m ticklish!!”

“Hey. Woah. W-woah,” he panicked, easing up immediately but still lightly tickling your sides. “Not the nipples. You’ll make them bleed.”

“Shut up,” you rolled your eyes. “You’re lucky I didn’t go for your dick.”

“Lucky?” He eyed you. “I don’t know if I’d call it that.”

Time seemed to freeze for a moment, his words ringing in your ears. There was really only one way you could take that, right? Dangerous territory back, however with the whole impromptu tickle fight, did it ever go away? This was just worse because he was basically on top of you. There was nowhere to escape – thoughts included.

“You need to be stopped,” you warned, but there was a grin on your face as you spoke. The flirtation went both ways. You hoped he realised that, caught on.

He pulled his hands back. It took you a moment to realise he’d stopped tickling you a while ago. “I can’t help it. I like hearing you laugh,” he said, smiling as he moved to sit properly again. He grabbed your hand to help you up too. You took it gladly, gripping it like you wanted him to know you didn’t want to let go. “I like seeing you happy.” He continued. God. What was he doing? You watched him tilt his head, looking you right in the eyes. “Do I make you happy?”

You couldn’t fight your grin any longer, shaking your head a little in disbelief. It was both ways and he did realise. “I think you know the answer to that.”

Your eyes locked for a moment, and you were almost begging him to just say something else, do something else, but the slight masochistic part of you loved the waiting, the unknown, the longing… It was like some sort of competition between the two of you. To see who could go the longest, tease the hardest, until one of you blew and gave in… Or maybe you were both just too nervous and scared and this was the only bit of relief you could get… Shameless flirting that got you embarrassingly flustered…

Seokjin wasn’t going to burst tonight. He let go of your hand to pick up his phone, knowing you were still watching him as he smiled. “I’m sure some type of something will tell me that on this stupid app.” It took you a moment to catch what he was referring to. Words slipping through your mind and out of your ears as quickly as they sounded. Yes, that fucker made you happy and didn’t he know it. You stretched your legs out across his lap.

“When’s the last time you went to a party?”

You furrowed your eyebrows at his random question. Just like that your previous conversation was over, or just dormant until the next time it was brought up, which probably wouldn’t be a long wait. You shrugged. “Yonks ago. You know how much I hate them.” You wouldn’t say it out loud in fear of making the moment awkward, but the last two parties you’d attended weren’t very high up on your fond memories list…

“Brian’s having one at his parents’ this weekend. They’re out of town. Come along.”

He sounded so casual you wouldn’t think he’d been practically on top of you tickling the life out of you not five minutes previous. Flirting with you shamelessly, basically insinuating he wanted you to touch his dick. Fuck. There it was. Thoughts slipping into your brain. You hoped he knew how infuriating he was sometimes. “I don’t know, I don’t know him that well,” was what you replied. You could do casual too. Even if your voice was slightly shaky. The tickling or something else, who knew…

“He said I could ask you.” Seokjin shook your knee encouragingly, like he was softly urging you to say yes. “It’s not a big party, nothing too crazy. He said you can invite Lina too, her boyfriend.” He paused to shrug. “If you don’t want to come alone or with me.”

You snickered. “I don’t want to cramp your style.”

“I thought we both agreed I don’t have style.”

That just made you laugh harder, pressing the pads of your fingers into the veins of his hand. He didn’t seem to mind. He really wanted you to come, huh? But you needed to hear him say it himself… “Do you want me to come?”

He glanced at you, matter of fact as he replied. “I think you know the answer to that.”

And just like that, not even two minutes later, you were back where you always ended up…

In circles.

“Christ. I’m going to have to cut the sexual tension with a knife soon.”

You turned to Lina, slumped and looking painfully held against her will on the couch next to you. You couldn’t tell if the party was shit or if it was something else, considering what she’d just commented. “What do you mean?”

Her eyes widened, unable to believe you were actually that clueless. (You weren’t.) “You and him,” she paused to shoot a look over at Seokjin drinking in the doorway of Brian’s lounge. “You’ve been eyeballing one another all night.” She wasn’t bothering to whisper and you panicked, whacking her elbow. “He can’t hear us,” she exclaimed. She was correct. The music was so loud you bet there’d be a noise complaint soon enough. Brian lived in a nice part of town…

It was so loud you managed to successfully evade her remarks. Not that she was really looking for an answer. If she was sensing tension, you were drowning in it… You were hoping it wasn’t that obvious... Maybe it was worse than you thought… These last few days had been a little weird. You’d finally managed to acknowledge that something was going on between Jin and you. It wasn’t just friendship, and you were nearly 100% certain he felt the same. You just didn’t know what it was you both felt, and you didn’t want to know just yet. There was plenty of time for that. Or so you thought. You’d made the decision to just wait and see how things naturally progressed, wanting to enjoy whatever the hell was happening between you two as it evolved. Only, it seemed to be evolving at a much faster pace than you’d expected. Tonight just proved that.

You hadn’t seen him for near five days. Work and college were kicking both your asses, along with other friendship commitments, because apparently no one ever saw you anymore since Seokjin had arrived back on the scene… (Lina’s words.) You thought you’d be fine. You knew you were seeing him tonight, and you had been fine. Perfectly fine until you’d walked through Brian’s door and seen Seokjin in the kitchen knocking back a beer. Your first thought was how you’d been able to bear hanging around with him at such a close proximity when he was just so goddamn hot?! Dressed in all black, hair parted so that dangerous forehead of his was on show... You were made of steel. But not anymore… Your knees felt weak as he spotted you and raised his glass, winking playfully. That was Lina’s first groan of the night. By now you were twenty something deep and she’d totally gotten the message…

You wanted Seokjin. The thought had never been so clear. It wasn’t this clear when you were hooking up all those months ago and it wasn’t this clear when you were masturbating in your bed trying to fool yourself you were just sexually frustrated. It wasn’t even this clear four nights ago when you were lying in bed not an hour after the tickle attack coming up with the facts after Seokjin had left.

The facts were you’d fallen for him. You didn’t know when, but it was obviously somewhere down the line of your new friendship. You didn’t even want to think when. It was all too confusing, and you had much better things to think about. Like how warm his hands were and how hard his body was. How cute his laugh sounded and how soft you remembered his lips to be… You couldn’t even think about what that all meant. For you, for him, for… Nevermind. You didn’t want to think tonight. That could come at a later date. You were sick of thinking. You just wanted to feel.

You hadn’t felt like this in forever. You wondered if you’d ever felt like this? The excitement was similar to how it used to be months ago, when you and Seokjin were hooking up and you’d see one another at a party or out clubbing, but it had never been this intense. You felt giddy all night. It was pretty embarrassing, especially with Lina as your witness. But you couldn’t care, not when it seemed like Seokjin was feeling the same vibes. It was funny, like you were both playing a little game. You hadn’t even spoken in person all night, the stolen glances and little text messages seemed a better idea. Maybe there was some shyness involved too, or maybe Seokjin was still a little scared of Lina… Either way, you fooled around like that all night. You still kept rereading the first messages of the night in between smiles and now longing glances… You were actually taking another look when Lina had finally stated the apparent.

Seokjin Hey : ) You look really pretty tonight Not that you don’t always

“Are you going to speak to him at all, or?” She prodded after a few more minutes, catching another smile your way. Seokjin noticed too and quickly looked away, probably afraid Lina would have his guts for garters if he stared long enough.

You couldn’t help but giggle at him, replying at the same time. “He hasn’t come over.” Not that you were bothered. She knew that too.

“Oh for fuck sake,” she groaned. “You’re enjoying this. I feel dirty. Like I’m watching in on something I shouldn’t.”

You shrugged her off. She was miserable because Mr. Perfect Park Jimin couldn’t make it, too busy studying for a Monday morning test… You were surprised however, when she stood up to leave. “Friends my ass. I’m getting a drink.”

“Don’t be like that,” you whined. But also you were needy, you didn’t want to be alone in the middle of a party.

She ignored you, leaning in to actually speak quieter this time. “Make a move or I’ll start hating him again.” You looked up at her with wide eyes, not quite believing your ears. Was this the voice of all reason? But maybe more importantly, was this Lina’s very own blessing?

Her parting line before she flounced off left you sat there nonplussed. “Now I know why you care so much about my opinion on him.”

You looked over at the doorway again. Seokjin was joking around with Hoseok and you took the time to really study him. Had the sight of just his face always made you this breathless? The way his cheeks rounded when he smiled, the ways his eyes crinkled… Even his ears were cute. Since when had his mere existence turned your life upside down and why were you only now realising it?

It was like you were seeing clearly for the first time. Kinda like putting on your glasses in the morning and everything comes into focus. You could see again. No, you could finally see. Seokjin. It was him. It wasn’t just some sexual attraction you shared, a sexual connection. It wasn’t that small, that petty… It was more than that. You wanted it to be more than that. You needed it to be more, and you needed him to feel the same…

You looked towards where Lina had disappeared. She saw it too. Make a move. That what she’d said, but you were scared. You were always scared. You’d gotten hurt so many times before. However… However, Seokjin was different. He wasn’t like the rest. He was Seokjin. The guy who knew you better than anyone. The one who had been there for you when you’d needed someone, helped you without asking…

Make a move.

You should make a move. You didn’t want to play games anymore. You couldn’t wait any longer.

The buzz of your phone caught your attention. You opened the messages quickly.

Seokjin Look at me again ;( I miss you It’s been days since I last saw you

You kept missing one another. You’d just been staring at him for the past couple of minutes and as soon as you’d looked away, he was looking back… It felt like it captured something else. How you’d both been all this time…

You looked up to meet his eyes. He gave you the warmest smile. One that felt like he hadn’t seen you in weeks even though he’d been in the same building as you all night. It made the tugging in your chest more apparent than ever before. The yearning now finally making sense. It was for him, and he was looking at you as if you were the only person in this way, way too fancy house.

You looked away quickly, unsure if you even smiled back at him. Your heart was thudding against your ribcage, mind racing, and you really needed something. Water? Fresh air? No, something else…

You i can’t look at you again tonight

Seokjin How come?

Seokjin replied immediately. Poor guy, he was probably confused by your peculiar behaviour. Not that you had much time to recognise that. You were too busy typing again. You knew what you needed.

You because i’ll want to kiss you

And with that, you were gone. Darting out the opposite doorway. Brian’s house was massive, and you were pretty sure no one was allowed upstairs but you bolted up there anyway, the music getting quieter as you made it further. Your cellphone burnt in your palm, reminding you of your own stupidity, but soon enough it was vibrating again. You dreaded to look but knew you had to.

Seokjin Wait Where did you go ????

You made it down the hall, flicking on a light to see all the doors were closed. You tried your luck at opening one. It was locked, probably his parents’ bedroom, so you tried another. That led to a bathroom, and while it would do, you didn’t really feel like having a breakdown in there, you know, being at a party and all. You weren’t even drunk. The third door you tried was thankfully unlocked. A bedroom. Not Brian’s. Too florally. You sat on the bed, door ajar, letting some light in as you text Seokjin back with shaky fingers.

You upstairs i’m embarrassed 🤧

He replied instantly. He’d definitely been waiting. It made you feel better.

Seokjin Don’t be Can I follow you?

You please i’m in the bedroom with the door half open

You replied without much thought. Yes, you were embarrassed but you really wanted to see him. To speak to him. To kiss him. You really wanted that. How had you been able to suppress it for so long?

You stood up to wait for him, unable to keep still and awkwardly stared facing the door, heart still thudding loudly in your chest. You could hear it echoing through your ears. He wasn’t long. He burst through the door like there was a fire but stopped in his tracks when he saw you stood there. Waiting for him.

He smiled softly but his eyes stayed afraid to blink. “Hey.”

“Hey.” You smiled back. Your first words of the night. They were enough.

“What’s going on—”

Your mouth was on his before he could finish. You didn’t even remember breaking the distance between you two, but there you were, pressing your lips into the curve of his. They were just as soft as you remembered. Softer. But as soon as you’d had the feel he was pulling away, hooking under your elbows to part you both, looking bewildered. “Wait, you’re really kissing me?”

You heart fell into your gut, opening your mouth to apologise. Maybe you’d misread everything. Maybe he didn’t want you. Maybe he’d followed you to let you down gently like the fool you were… However as soon as the panicked thoughts had entered your mind he was kissing them away, laughing in disbelief as he moulded into you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

You met each flurry of his mouth, small kisses in quick succession, like you were both too afraid to break away for too long and you flung your arms around his shoulders, locking him to you. “Is that okay?” You whispered between hot presses, which was very pointless now seeing as he’d made the second move.

He chuckled. “It’s more than okay.”

And that was that. You didn’t need anymore insisting or persuading. Seokjin wanted to kiss you too, and that’s what you let him do. You wanted to think more. Like about how this wasn’t the best place to share such a moment. In a bedroom you weren’t allowed in. At a party for god’s sakes. Yet, perhaps it was fitting. That first night you’d spent together was at a party. It was a stupid idea at the time, something you thought you’d regret, but nope, you didn’t regret a thing. No, this moment right here was pretty perfect. More than pretty perfect. It was perfect. It really was.

Just like him. You didn’t know when Kim Seokjin had become the one you were looking for. He probably always was, you’d just been stupid. Oblivious. Blind. These past couple of months had really opened your eyes. You’d let him into your heart. Your heart that you’d been sure wasn’t working properly. Turns out there was nothing wrong with it. It just thrummed to Seokjin’s smile. Seokjin’s laugh. Seokjin’s voice. You found the way he twitched his nose without realising cute. Couldn’t stop thinking about how adorable his serious face was. Remembered how surprised you were when you found out he actually had a pretty good singing voice and how after that you’d tried your best into tricking and baiting him to sing for you… It never worked.

You laughed at the memory. Seokjin had no clue what you were so amused by, but he laughed along too. Sounding so genuinely happy it just made you laugh harder. You were lost again. Your thoughts would have to go on pause. Just for a bit. So you could enjoy this fully. This was what you’d been missing. It was crystal clear. Everything you’d been searching for. It was Seokjin. You were slow, months late, but it was him.

The warmth of his tongue glided across your bottom lip, ever so gently trying to seek entrance into the warmth of your mouth. You gave it to him gladly, tasting him eagerly. The familiarity seeped through your veins, your mind almost in a dreamlike state as you moved together. Things were just how you left them. He still felt the same under your fingertips and tasted the same against your tongue. Only tonight there was a little difference. In the way he moved. In the way he treated you. There was something more. Something that had been missing in the past. Something you’d both never thought about.

He moved you, walking backwards with you still cradled in his arms as he slowly began shutting the door with his back. He flipped you then, so that you took his place and he gently pushed you back until the door clicked. That blanketed you both in darkness, but you didn’t care. If anything he kissed you harder, hands running down your waist and digging into your hips as yours explored the broadness of his shoulders and length of his back. You could taste the slightest hint of beer too, but unlike in the past when you’d whined and pulled a face, you welcomed it. He matched each sweet sigh you gave him with his own low moan.

However soon enough the deeper the kiss got, the more overwhelmed you became, each curl of his tongue taking the breath from right within your chest, so you were not disappointed or desperate when he slowed down, returning to kissing you in small, quick successions. His breathing ragged, his eyes unfocused as he fluttered them open to find you staring back at him.

“Seokjin,” you murmured, clinging to him to now, fingertips pressing into his shoulder blades. You wanted to say more. You had a lot to tell him, but you were dizzy and the words wouldn’t come. God. You had so much to say.

“I’m here,” he smiled, rubbing your noses together. As if understanding completely and reassuring you. He kissed at your mouth a few more times but it was no where near as urgent as before. All your pent-up frustration had evaporated and in its place was just the urge to keep on feeling things softly. Feeling things gently.

He held your hips, keeping you close to him, and maybe he could read the look in your eyes. It matched his. “Sh-should we be doing this right now?” His voice was fragile. Still affected but also nervous. “Maybe we should slow down. Catch a breath.” He stroked up and down your sides as he continued.

You let the comfort of his warm breath against your face wash over you and nodded slowly.

“Sorry,” you apologised, although unneeded. “I do want this though.”

He smiled again. “I want this too.” A kiss to the tip of your nose this time as you let out a soft exhale. You were too happy for words. Nervous, yes. Uncertain, you bet. However you hadn’t felt this contented in a long while. If ever. This relieved. It wasn’t a dream. Seokjin and you were on the same page.

“Let’s wait until tomorrow?” He asked carefully. This was new to you both and you needed to make sure nothing was rushed nor ignored. “We can talk properly and work out what’s going on with us, hm?”

You nodded again, lips sticky and warm as you tugged your bottom one between your teeth. “That sounds good.”

He hugged you in response. A proper hug. One you’d been in need of for a while. You just hadn’t realised until his arms were wrapped tightly around your body, pressing you into his. You closed your eyes and inhaled his scent.

“It does,” he agreed.

Written 2019-20. Reworked/Edited 2020 Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2020

#HOW this became 24k i dont know #i'm so sorry #seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #bts smut #seokjin smut #jin smut #floralseokjin:writings #fic:crystallised

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bookishable · 5 years

Text

order of the phoenix book moments

“listening to the news! again?” “well, it changes every day, you see”

vernon: we’re not stupid harry: WeLL tHaT’s nEwS tO mE

“did he say you look like a pig that’s been taught to walk on its hind legs? ’cause that’s not cheek, dud, that’s true.”

“not this brave at night, are you?” “this is night, diddykins. that’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this.”

“what d’you mean, i’m not brave when i’m in bed? what am i supposed to be frightened of, pillows or something?”

“fought ’em off, did you, son? gave ’em the old one-two?” “you can’t give a dementor the old one-two”

tonks sending the dursleys a letter telling them they’d been short listed for the (non-existent) all-england best kept suburban lawn competition to keep them out the house so they could rescue harry

“snape’s on our side now” “doesn’t stop him being a git”

“dumbledore says he doesn’t care what they do as long as they don’t take him off the chocolate frog cards”

“kreacher lives to serve the noble house of black—” “and it’s getting blacker every day, it’s filthy”

arthur and kingsley’s fake chat at the ministry

“if you can get away before seven, molly’s making meatballs.”

‘a powerful emotion had risen in harry’s chest at the sight of dumbledore, a fortified, hopeful feeling rather like that which phoenix song gave him.’

“you got our message that the time and place of the hearing had been changed?” “i must have missed it, however, due to a lucky mistake i arrived at the ministry three hours early”

“a prefect! that’s everyone in the family!” “what are fred and i, next-door neighbours?”

harry’s personal growth moment where he realises he is happy for ron being made prefect and beating him at something for the first time, and that harry isn’t any better than him

luna: you’re harry potter harry: i know i am

neville saying “i’m nobody” and ginny being like “no you’re not” ugh we stan this friendship

the quibbler’s article on whether sirius is a notorious mass murderer or innocent singing sensation

“i, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that i, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments.” “yeah, but you, unlike me, are a git, so get out and leave us alone.”

‘luna did not seem perturbed by ron’s rudeness; on the contrary, she simply watched him for a while as though he were a mildly interesting television programme.’

“i told her to keep her big fat mouth shut about you, actually. and it would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down our throats, harry, because in case you haven’t noticed, ron and i are on your side.”

“i dreamed i was playing quidditch the other night, what do you reckon that means?” “probably that you’re going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something”

“have a biscuit, potter.”

hermione knitting hats for the house-elves

“they didn’t look anything like hats to me, more like woolly bladders.” hermione did not speak to him all morning.

harry and ron meeting each other in the hallway, both trying to hide something but failing, harry being excited that ron wants to join the quidditch team, and ron noticing harry’s injury and being horrified we love this friendship

“ron had been honest with him, so he told ron the truth”

harry’s excellent attempt at writing a letter to sirius without obscurely revealing anything in case it got intercepted

“if you want to ‘sever ties’ with me, i swear i won’t get violent.”

“yeah, quirrell was a great teacher, there was just that minor drawback of him having lord voldemort sticking out of the back of his head.”

“i was just wondering, professor, whether you received my note telling you of the date and time of your inspec—” “obviously i received it, or i would have asked you what you are doing in my classroom” minerva strikes again

luna: the ministry’s got an army of heliopaths neville: an army of what luna: great flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everyth— hermione: they don’t exist, neville luna: oh yes they do

harry pretending to be ill so he could skip history of magic and find someone to help hedwig

“i can’t see any boils” “no, well, you wouldn’t, they’re not in a place we generally display to the public.” “but they make sitting on a broom a right pain in the—”

“the DA’s good, only let’s make it stand for dumbledore’s army, because that’s the ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?”

hermione making the fake galleons and everyone being like what because it’s NEWT level magic

‘even fred had said that ron might yet make him and george proud, and that they were seriously considering admitting he was related to them, something they assured him they had been trying to deny for four years.’

“hey, potty, i heard warrington’s sworn to knock you off your broom on saturday” “warrington’s aim’s so pathetic i’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me” god i love harry in this book

luna’s lion hat: “i wanted to have it chewing up a serpent to represent slytherin, you know, but there wasn’t time.”

dobby decorating the room of requirement with baubles of harry’s face saying ‘have a very harry christmas’

“ron, you are the most insensitive wart i have ever had the misfortune to meet.” it’s not true but it’s funny lmao

harry: next minute she’s crying all over me and i didn’t know what to do ron: don’t blame you, mate

‘that’s what they should teach us here, how girls’ brains work… it’d be more useful than divination, anyway…’

“i didn’t want anyone to talk to me” “well, that was a bit stupid of you, seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by you-know-who, and i can tell you how it feels.” “i forgot” “lucky you”

sirius singing ‘god rest ye, merry hippogriffs’

arthur using stitches on his snake bites and molly exploding “it sounds as though you’ve been trying to sew your skin back together… WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT’S THE GENERAL IDEA?”

harry trying to distract the others when he realises neville’s parents are in the same ward that they are in, so neville can leave unnoticed

harry being oblivious to the fact cho wants to go to hogsmeade with him for valentine’s day

“if we can’t trust dumbledore, we can’t trust anyone.”

harry being oblivious (the sequel) and telling cho he was meeting hermione after their date, bless my son he’s trying his best

“why does she always want to drag up a subject that makes her act like a human hosepipe?”

‘hermione was sitting at a table with the unlikeliest pair of drinking mates he could ever have imagined: luna lovegood and none other than rita skeeter, one of hermione’s least favourite people in the world.’

“cho? a girl?” “it’s none of your business if harry’s been with a hundred girls” this is my favourite version of hermione

“it might have been a good idea to mention how ugly you think i am, too,” hermione added as an afterthought. “but i don’t think you’re ugly”

“she’s been breaking into your broom shed in the garden since the age of six and taking each of your brooms out in turn when you weren’t looking”

“if zacharias smith beats us i might have to kill myself.” “kill him, more like”

“hermione, you’re good on feelings and stuff, but you just don’t understand about quidditch.” “maybe not, but at least my happiness doesn’t depend on ron’s goalkeeping ability.”

‘out of respect for his feelings, harry waited a while before going up to the dormitory himself, so that ron could pretend to be asleep if he wanted to.’

dumbledore choosing firenze to teach divination knowing full well umbridge hated half-breeds

kingsley, dumbledore and mcgonagall’s genius way of saving the situation in dumbledore’s office after the DA meetings had been uncovered

“well, usually when a person shakes their head, they mean ‘no’. so unless miss edgecombe is using a form of sign-language as yet unknown to humans—”

“i have absolutely no intention of being sent to azkaban. i could break out, of course—but what a waste of time, and frankly, i can think of a whole host of things i would rather be doing.”

all the teachers pretending they couldn’t get rid of the fireworks to make umbridge run around the entire school to do so

“i could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but i wasn’t sure whether or not i had the authority.”

“give five signs that identify the werewolf. one: he’s sitting in my chair. two: he’s wearing my clothes. three: his name’s remus lupin.”

“the thing about growing up with fred and george, is that you sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.”

“you’d need more than a good sense of fun to liaise with my uncle, good sense of when to duck, more like.”

“are you quite sure you wouldn’t like a cough drop, dolores?”

“he has achieved high marks in all defence against the dark arts tests set by a competent teacher.”

“this boy has as much chance of becoming an auror as dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.” “a very good chance, then”

“she hated him!” “nah, she didn’t”

“your father was the best friend i ever had and he was a good person. a lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. he grew out of it.”

“give her hell from us, peeves.”

the catchphrase “one more lesson like that and i might just do a weasley” being a trend

‘umbridge-itis’

harry witnessed professor mcgonagall walking right past peeves, who was determinedly loosening a crystal chandelier, and could have sworn he heard her tell the poltergeist out of the corner of her mouth, “it unscrews the other way.”

WEASLEY IS OUR KING

the fifth and seventh years starting a black-market trade selling ‘brain stimulants’ for the exams

“i don’t care if my tea-leaves spell die, ron die—i’m just chucking them in the bin where they belong.”

‘even through his anger and impatience, harry recognised hermione’s offer to accompany him into umbridge’s office as a sign of solidarity and loyalty.’

ginny’s notorious bat bogey hex

“we were all in the DA together, it was all supposed to be about fighting you-know-who, wasn’t it? and this is the first chance we’ve had to do something real—or was that all just a game or something?”

“you do care, you care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”

“by all means continue destroying my possessions, i daresay i have too many.”

“in the end, it mattered not that you could not close your mind. it was your heart that saved you.”

‘sirius seemed a million miles away already; even now a part of harry still believed that if he had only pulled back that veil, he would have found sirius looking back at him, greeting him, perhaps, with his laugh like a bark…’

flitwick leaving a patch of the swamp as a monument to fred and george, and because it was “a really good bit of magic”

“you’re dead, potter.” “funny, you’d think i’d have stopped walking around…”

mgonagall arriving back at hogwarts just as snape tries to take points from gryffindor like ‘no bitch, they can have 500 points instead for fighting death eaters’

‘professor mcgonagall was clearly heard to express a regret that she could not run cheering after umbridge herself, because peeves had borrowed her walking stick.’

“i expect what you’re not aware of would fill several books, dursley”

“are you threatening me, sir?” “yes, i am,” said mad-eye, who seemed rather pleased that uncle vernon had grasped this fact so quickly.

“do i look like the kind of man who can be intimidated?” “yes, i’d have to say you do” moody just ended this book with three straight burns

#hp book moments #order of the phoenix #harry potter books #harry potter quotes #hp textpost

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365daysofsasuhina · 5 years

Text

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day One Hundred Seven: A Portrait ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

It’s been three weeks, and he hasn’t seen hide or hair of her. And he’s not going to text her, if only because he refuses to fall to his brother’s meddling.

Three weeks since he and Itachi wandered into that art exhibition. Three weeks since Sasuke saw the street portrait of himself she’d drawn while he’d been at his usual coffee shop haunt. Three weeks since Itachi bought it and not so subtly encouraged them to exchange numbers.

And now he can’t help but be disappointed that she’s not here. And it’s all Itachi’s fault! Sure, he’d been curious before, but actually meeting her and seeing that stupid portrait (it wasn’t stupid, he’s just peeved) made it almost unbearable.

She’s yet to come back...at least, not while he’s there. Every weekend he’s popped by for a few hours, hoping for some reason to run into her while he’s there. But every weekend, he’s ended up disappointed.

Then he starts wondering if she’s avoiding it because the whole thing embarrassed her. Not that he’d blame her: Itachi made a whole spectacle out of it! Leave it to Itachi to turn something so mundane into a scene.

Thumb scrolling back and forth over his contacts screen, he watches her name go up and down, up and down. He doesn’t want to text her. He doesn’t want Itachi to win. It just seems so...ridiculous. The circumstance aren’t foretelling. They’re not some romance movie cliche. The only reason he’s considering it is due to his brother’s interference.

And it’s driving him nuts!

Powering off his phone, he scowls and takes up his laptop. She’s still not here. He’s wasted enough time as it is - time to actually be productive this weekend.

He goes home and busies himself with random take-home work from the office. Nothing exciting, but it needs to be done. And the mindless task keeps his brain on one track.

At least...until he’s done.

Lounging atop his couch that evening, he slings an arm up over his eyes with a sigh. He doesn’t know this girl. Know anything about her. The only thing connecting them in any way is the drawing she did. Nothing else.

So why can’t he stop letting his mind wander to her?

She’s cute. He’ll admit that much. Short, with a rounded face and fuller build than most girls he’s even been thrown in with. And her occupation is unique. He’s never actually really known any artists, unless you count his brother...but he’s into music, not drawing.

The next day after work, he goes to the building that had held the art open house. To his disappointment, it’s closed...and the previous galleries cleared out. Of course it wouldn’t last this long, but...he just thought...maybe…

She’s a street artist, he reminds himself. She wanders and finds whatever looks viable to draw. He can’t begin to know what draws her eyes - and he won’t pretend to. So, Sasuke really has no idea where to even begin to look.

So, he just...starts wandering.

The Spring day is drawing to a close - his work day runs until five, and he spent far too long trying to gather clues from the gallery host. He’s got maybe half an hour of daylight left. The odds of finding her are low.

It’s well after dark by the time he gives up.

Heading into a fast food joint (it’s the only thing left open after eight), he gets something basic to shove down his throat. Not the best dinner, but it’s too late to cook, and his mood’s been soured anyway.

Digging out his phone, he idles over what to do with it. Send Itachi a grumpy text, send Naruto a grumpy text...send Hinata a casual hello…

No!

But...why no? He can’t really kid himself at this point. He’s too curious. Too invested. This has got to stop somehow. Opening the message window, thumbs fidget over the keys hesitantly as he chews on his straw.

“...Sasuke?”

Eyes go wide, taking a sip of soda by accident in an attempt to gasp...and quickly choking.

Are you kidding?!

Flinching as she holds her to-go bag, Hinata tries not to stare as Sasuke attempts to regain his composure. “Are...are you okay?”

“Fine...I’m fine. Just…” He can’t explain. Probably doesn’t have to. “What, uh...what are you doing here?”

“Picking up something fast and c-cheap. I was out all day sketching in the park, so...no time to make dinner.”

“Oh, uh...same. About the dinner thing. Was, uh...busy.”

She perks a brow at him. “...I see.”

Awkward silence.

“So, uh...get anything good?” he dares to ask, still clearing his throat a bit from the sting of soda in his windpipe.

“I did!” Glancing to her bag, she pauses a moment before asking, “You...want to see?”

“Sure.”

Sliding into the booth opposite him, she sets aside her food and digs out a sketchbook. “Most of this was just landscape scribbles...I’ve been n-needing to practice them. But I got a pretty good portrait, too…”

Delicate fingers flip through the pages, briefly displaying the more messy sketches before opening up to the page she’s seeking.

It’s an old woman in the strangest looking coat he’s ever seen: a myriad of pockets and buttons and a frill of what looks like feathers around the collar…? She’s sitting on a park bench, feeding a rather large flock of pigeons.

“What do you think?”

Studying it a bit longer, Sasuke opens his mouth, pauses...and then says, “She...kinda looks like a pigeon herself.”

“That’s what I thought!”

The blurted reply draws eyes, and they both go pink. Sheepish, Hinata ducks her head. “I just, y’know...the feathers, and -”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. She really -”

“Looks like one of them, doesn’t she?” Hinata giggles. “It was just too perfect! I had to get a sketch in. No idea if I’ll be able to finish it...I’ll have to see if she comes back. And hopefully wearing that coat.”

Staring at it again, Sasuke can’t help a soft snort. “You find the most interesting people to draw, don’t you?”

“I do.” There’s a small, cheeky smile. “Guess your b-brother thinks so too, huh?”

At that, he goes pink. “...I’m sorry about all that, by the way -”

“Oh, it wasn’t anything bad! Just...a little embarrassing. I’ve never actually sold anything before, so...his interest and his generosity made it quite the first experience.”

“You haven’t…? But your art’s amazing!”

She gives a modest duck of her chin. “...thank you.”

“I mean, I dunno anything about art, but...I really liked what I saw. And I guess Itachi did, too. He’s got an eye for talent. If he liked your stuff, that’s a good sign, believe me.”

That seems to perk her up.

“Anyway, uh…” Sasuke rubs a hand at his neck. “...I haven’t seen you around the coffee shop.”

“Oh...yeah, I’ve been trying to find new locations to draw. I go there a lot, actually.”

“You do?”

“Mhm! Guess we just...never crossed paths until I drew you.”

“That’s weird...cuz I’m a regular. I practically live there on the weekends.”

“Guess we just had to find the right time!”

“...yeah, guess so.”

“...a-anyway, I...better get home.”

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for showing me your drawings.”

“Sure! And, um…” She goes pink. “If...if you ever want me to draw you again, just ask! It...was a lot of fun. And you make a great model.”

“...I do?”

“Y...yeah! You have a very interesting profile. And expressions. But...maybe that was because you didn’t know I was drawing you.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, probably. Uh...sure, if you want me to.”

“Okay! I’ll text you when I’ve got a free weekend.”

“Sounds good.”

Not wanting to walk with her after saying goodbye, Sasuke lingers as she takes her leave. Well, looks like he’ll be her subject again...but he wonders if he’ll be as appealing if he knows she’s doing it. Only one way to know, he supposes.

Glancing to his phone, he considers telling his brother, but...decides against it. He’ll probably want to buy that one, too. Once was enough...though Hinata could probably use the money.

...maybe later, then.

Exhausted, long day, this'll be brief OTL Sequel-ish to day eighty-five. Not...that great cuz I couldn't write until VERY late, and my eyes are killing me @~@ I'm getting old. Sorry if this is a little lackluster. Tomorrow, I hope, won't be as busy, and I can write something better~ But, either way, thanks for reading!

#sasuhina #uchiha sasuke #hyūga hinata #best years of your life [ au ]#365daysofsasuhina

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stillthewordgirl · 6 years

Text

LOT/CC fic: Somewhere on Your Road Tonight (Ch. 5)

Sara and Leonard made a life for themselves, together in 1958, after the Waverider left them, Ray and Kendra behind. But now they're back on the ship, Mick has been twisted into Chronos, Kendra is pregnant, and Savage is still out there. They'll deal--together. (Sequel to "Chances Are.")

Second half of “The Magnificent Eight” in this ‘verse. Thanks to @larielromeniel for the beta! Can also be read here at AO3 or here at FF.net.

Raymond is beaming from ear to ear with the victory his bluff and Leonard’s shot had pulled out. Jax is pretty much bouncing, and even Stein and Mick are grinning. But Leonard himself is a little more inclined to agree with Jonah Hex, whose gloomy outcome is just a little closer to his own native pessimism. (He prefers to think of it as realism.)

“For a bunch of time travelers, you don't seem to understand the future much,” Hex tells them, harsh voice scornful as they pause on the bridge. His gaze flickers, challenging, to Rip, who glances away. More there than meets the eye, it seems. Leonard leans against the wall, watching the captain for more tells as Hex goes on, “The day will come when you'll all leave... and Salvation will end up like Calvert.”

Rip flinches, badly. Leonard, watching, frowns.

“What's a Calvert?” Mick queries, looking around. Post-Chronos Mick is a lot more curious than the old one, Leonard’s noticed. He’s still not quite sure if that’s a good thing.

But RIp shoots them down. “A closed matter. A word, Mr. Hex?” he says, taking a step out of the room and turning away. “I believe you've all done enough for one day."

“Well, now I definitely want to know what a Calvert is.”

“Me, too,” Leonard mutters, moving closer to Mick, who eyes him, but apparently decides they’re still OK. “Gideon?” he says, nearly in unison with Stein, after Hex follows the captain out.

"Calvert was a town in Oklahoma during most of the 1850s and 1960s,” the AI says promptly.

"Was?”

“That is all you need to know for the moment.” The computerized voice is almost prim, Gideon at her most authoritative...or protective. Leonard and Mick share a glance.

“I think,” Leonard drawls, after a moment, “that we need to know more, Gideon. Spill.”

“Then you will have to take it up with Captain Hunter.” The tone is now flat.

“Good captain hiding things from us again?”

Gideon pauses. Leonard hears Mick, Jax and Stein talking in the background, but he keeps his eyes fixed on the nearest screen, the closest he figures he can come to looking the AI in the eye.

“Mr. Snart,” she says finally, “would you like me to tell the entire team about...some piece of your past? Say, the Schuyler sapphire job of 2004?”

Jax and Stein look at Leonard with some trepidation, but Mick chuckles a bit evilly, and Leonard allows himself a slight smile, even though the reference is a somewhat painful one.

“Gideon, is that a threat?” he drawls.

“No,” the AI returns. “It is an example. I will not...spill...about your past to simply anyone who asks. Neither will I do so about any other member of this team unless there is a very clear and compelling reason to do so.”

“Ah. There’s something a little more personal about this to ol’ Rip, huh?”

“As you say.”

It’s Stein (busted while stealing medicine, to Leonard’s amusement) and Raymond who finally get the truth of Calvert out of the captain and then share it with the team, but Leonard doesn’t hear about that until later. As the group disperses, he watches Mick wander off toward the galley, then follows, slowly, hands clasped behind his back, considering his words.

But when he arrives, sauntering into the room in time to watch Mick put away a huge bite of a truly impressive sandwich, he decides to just keep it simple, parking his hip against the doorway and folding his arms before speaking.

“You doin’ all right?”

Mick eyes him, chewing his mouthful of bread and cheese and meat. Then he shrugs.

“Yeah.” He considers the sandwich, then shrugs again. “Don’t I seem alright?”

He does, actually. But... “You were Chronos, barely a day ago. And then you weren’t.” Leonard takes another step into the room and waves a hand. “And yeah, Gideon’s still monitoring your brainwaves and will...spill...if anything goes haywire, but it’s still...”

His voice trails off. The situation is many things. Few of them simple.

Mick lets the silence stretch, taking another bite, then another.

“M’ fine,” he grunts, finally, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. (Leonard winces.) “Waitin’ for the other shoe to drop.”

Leonard moves closer, thinking about his own ponderings about the Time Masters and events. “How so?”

“Wit’ the Hunters.” Mick sits down the sandwich and regards him, leaning forward onto his elbows. “None of you are taking this seriously,” he says gruffly. “Not really, not even you, Snart. But I know. I mighta been the dumb one once, but...” He shakes his head at Leonard’s noise of denial. “No, really, you were the brains of the operation. And that was OK. I didn’t want to be.”

He picks up his sandwich again. “But I had to, as Chronos. And I’ve seen things, Snart. The Time Masters...they play the long game. Kinda like you. But no matter what the Brit thinks, they don’t have much of a code. Not when it comes to getting what they want, what they think is best. And they think they always know best.” Mick eyes him. “Also, kinda like you.”

Leonard ignores the shot. There’s something there, the thread of an idea, the trace of a pattern. “What do you...”

But Mick’s apparently had enough of being quite so forthcoming. He takes another massive bite of sandwich, then says around the edges: "Where’s Blondie? Thought she was your partner in crime these days.”

That’s meant as a hit too, Leonard thinks, but he chooses not to take it as one. Instead, he just shrugs, pulling up a chair, taking a seat when Mick doesn’t seem to mind. “It’s not like we’re joined at the hip.” He leans forward, lacing his fingers together on the counter, a smirk tugging at his lips. “And crime doesn’t have much to do with it.”

Mick snorts and leers a little. “So I hear.” He shrugs when Leonard eyes him. “What, it’s a secret? Then you shouldn’t go around making goo-goo eyes at each other.” Then he barks out another laugh, pointing at his old friend. “You should see the look on your face.”

“Goo-goo eyes?” Leonard asks in distaste, sitting back, then reaching for a napkin to wipe up an errant bit of mustard on the counter. “Really? I haven’t once in my life...goo-goo eyes?”

“Snart, trust me, it’s absolutely sickening.”

They don’t get much of a reprieve, however, before Raymond, giddy with the prospect of more Old West action, finds them. Hex had confirmed Stein’s intel on the Stillwater gang’s location, and it’s time to ride. (Raymond, Leonard decides, has far too much fun saying that in his best John Wayne intonation.)

He considers asking Sara to join them, but the inventor has relayed the information that she’s keeping the restless Kendra company in the medbay, and it seems wisest not to mess with anything that’s helping out the pregnant lady. It’s a decision that Mick doesn’t really agree with.

“We could've used Sara on this roundup,” he grumbles, guiding his horse along the narrow path they’re riding, so adroitly that Leonard has to wonder where (and when) he’d learned. Mick’s just as much of a city boy as he is—or, at least, he had been before the Time Masters took him.

For his own part, Leonard's pretty sure Hex has given him the equine version of training wheels, as the gray gelding he’s been paired with seems to ignore (perhaps wisely) any of his attempts to steer it and simply follows the others.

Hex looks around at him, frowning. “A lady? You crazy?”

Yes, Leonard thinks with a sigh as Mick snorts in laughter, it’s perhaps just as well that Sara hadn’t come along.

Of course, maybe if she had, things wouldn’t have gone sideways quite so badly. They go back to the ship with Stillwater…but also without Jax.

As Stein asserts back on the ship, it could be a simple matter: Trade Stillwater for Jax.

But it’s not. Of course, it’s not.

“If we release Stillwater,” Raymond says, as earnestly as Raymond says almost everything, “we're back to square one and the town is still in danger.”

“So is the kid,” Leonard growls back at him, pacing the bridge. "Raymond, you ever think with that vaunted brain you got?” He stops in front of the inventor. “Think about the time period. And it’s Jax.” He nods, turning abruptly away as the would-be sheriff’s eyes widen. “We got their leader. Who’s got an all-white outfit, far as I can tell.” He scowls at nothing in particular. “And maybe Hex ain’t a…a true believer in that uniform he wears, but lots of people still are.”

Stein takes a shaky breath. “Jefferson is, at the moment, in no overt distress,” he says quietly. “But...Mr. Snart is right. Some of the rest of us, we tend to forget...”

Raymond looks distressed, but he doesn’t back down. “And we'll figure out a way to get him back without releasing Stillwater,” he says firmly.

“I got a notion.”

Leonard flicks a glance at Hex as the other man saunters into the room. He hasn’t decided quite what he thinks of the bounty hunter, save that there’s all sorts of interesting vibes between him and Rip. There’s a pragmatism there he appreciates, but Hex is a creature of his time, including the Confederate uniform, and he’s not at all sure about that.

“Set up a quick draw,” the scarred man continues. “You win, get your guy back." He pauses. “You lose, you set Stillwater free.”

“And, by "lose," you mean..." Stein starts.

“Get shot and killed,” Leonard says shortly, folding his arms.

“Oh, great. Pistols at high noon."

Mick, perhaps predictably, is all for the idea. Stein is emphatically not. Hunter doesn’t seem able to offer another plan, and Leonard has to admit that he’s coming up blank as well.

But then it’s Raymond, honorable to a fault and full of his image of Old West nobility, who volunteers.

“No one else is stepping forward,” he says, so earnestly again. “Plus, I'm a decent shot... at least I was with an air rifle.”

Oh, enough.

Leonard sighs and straightens from his slouch against the chair.

“Like hell you will,” he says. “I will.”

He holds up a hand, pointing at the other man as Raymond starts to protest. “I’ve got a better shot than you. Literally. And…” Here, he pauses, hesitating at the sentiment his next words reveal. “…and I’m not about to become a father.”

Raymond can’t even argue with that, but he sees the inventor struggling to find a way.

He’s never wanted this part of being a hero—or a legend. But apparently, he’s found his line in the sand, right here. This kid, Raymond and Kendra’s, is going to have parents who give a shit about him, who will make sure he grows up to be…well. Something better than a crook and a rogue.

And who knows? Leonard smirks a little. He might even be able to win this shootout.

The whole thing touches off another quarrel between Hunter and Hex, however, one that ends in even more revelations about the whole Calvert matter—and the bounty hunter decking the captain, something Leonard’s always pleased to see.

“I deserved that,” Hunter mutters, blotting the blood at his lip. Leonard lifts an eyebrow and glances across the room at Mick, who smirks back at him.

“You deserve a lot worse.” Hex scowls down at him “You knew, and you still left?”

“Of course I knew. I was a Time Master. And therein lay the problem.” Hunter struggles to his feet, shaking his head. “Like Raymond, like Martin—like even Mr. Snart, apparently—I felt the pull of heroism, of this era's penchant for being rife with opportunities to make a difference."

Hunter sighs, even as Leonard tries to figure out how he feels about that “even” and that “apparently.” “That's one of the things that called to me, and that is why I had to leave,” he continues. “Because had I stayed... I could no longer have remained a Time Master.”

Then he nods, once, looking Hex right in the eye. “But I'm no longer a Time Master... which is why I'll face Stillwater."

“Wait!” Raymond protested, even as Leonard snaps, “I said I’d do it."

Hunter turns, running a hand through his hair. “Yes, and I know you make your own decisions, Mr. Snart, but I’d rather keep Ms. Lance from wanting to murder me, should you lose.” He gives Leonard a slight smile of his own. “And while you’re a demonstrably good shot—as evidenced by this whole mess—you’ve never participated in this particular brand of mayhem before.”

He turns away before Leonard can try to argue again. “Send word to Stillwater's posse. I believe high noon is in less than three hours.”

Sara wants to help her friend as much as possible. She really does. But after an afternoon full of cards and chatting and justifying all manner of treats from Gideon by virtue of “Kendra wants it,” she’s restless as hell—and more than a little curious about the relative radio silence from the others.

“Well,” she says with a sigh after they polish off a massive piece of chocolate cake, “this has been fun, but I think I should go see what sort of trouble the boys are getting into.” She stands with a spine-cracking stretch. “It’s been long enough that I'm sure there’s something.”

“I would be more surprised if there wasn’t.” Kendra rests her chin on her hand, wearing a wistful expression. “Gideon? Can I at least walk around the ship?”

“That would be fine, Ms. Saunders,” the AI replies promptly. “Your readings and the baby’s are quite healthy and very regular.” She pauses. “I would, however, recommend staying on the ship for this stop. Just in case. Despite any distractions.”

“And that’s not worrisome at all,” Sara mutters, reaching out to squeeze Kendra’s hand. “I’m going to go see what’s happening, maybe put on the whole get-up again and go see Salvation.”

“Have fun. Make sure Ray’s behaving. And Snart.” The other woman gets to her feet, gingerly, stretching as well. “Oh, that feels good. I need some exercise.”

"My guess? Ray’s probably behaving. Leonard probably isn’t. I like him that way.” But Sara pauses on her way out the door. “Kendra?”

“Hmm?”

She considers her words, then shrugs. “Whoever’s out there—Old West Kendra, Old West Carter—they're living their lives. You have to live yours. Right?”

Kendra regards her, then gives her a small smile, one that mingles gratitude and understanding. Sara, who’d never had many female friends back in her own time, is a little surprised to find how much it warms her. She thinks of Ginny and Rebecca then, and other unexpected gifts from the ‘50s.

“Right,” the other woman says quietly. “Well, for now, that life’s going to include a shower and a change of clothes. And...thank you, Sara.”

Leonard’s not in their room. Sara shrugs and dresses in her Old West clothing before heading back out. She’s just about to lift her voice and ask Gideon where the others are, though, when she turns a corner and runs right into her very own man in black, who lifts his hands to catch her.

“Hey!” Sara grins at him, then pauses, nothing the very complicated expression that follows his initial smile. “I’ve been keeping Kendra company for a while. What’s going on?”

She sees Leonard consider the question.

“Ray’s the sheriff,” he says finally. “I’ve been playing sniper-slash-deputy for him. Stein’s been stealing medicine to save some kid, Jeb Stillwater’s in the brig, his gang has Jax and our captain’s about to take part in a gunfight.”

“What?”

The scene at high noon on the streets of Salvation feels like something out of a movie, almost exciting if not for the fact that Rip’s life is on the line.

And while Sara’s still dealing with her feelings about Leonard nearly being the one out there in the street, she has to admit that losing the very person they’ve come on this mission to help probably isn’t the best game plan out there either. Mick has assured them all that he can fly the Waverider—but since Mick’s only a day or so away from years as a violent temporal bounty hunter, that’s not all that reassuring, either.

Sara stands with Stein and Mick, watching Rip and Ray as they wait for Leonard to herd Stillwater out of the town jail, where he’d been placed temporarily until his gang could show up with Jax. The youngest Legend looks annoyed but fine, waiting opposite the others, hands tied. Stein has confirmed his counterpart’s relative good health.

Stillwater looks just as ornery as before when he emerges from the jail, doing his best to ignore the fact that Leonard’s holding him at gunpoint, and the two men cross to the middle of the street, then turn to face Rip and Ray.

"I'll be drawing for Sheriff Palmer,” Rip tells them, voice raised. Leonard gives a fancier-than-strictly-necessary flip of his revolver, extending the hilt to Stillwater, who eyes him, but accepts it.

“How do me and my boys know you're going to keep your word?” the man says, checking the weapon.

“Sheriff Palmer's a straight shooter," Leonard tells him solemnly, a corner of his mouth ticking up as he turns his head to catch Sara’s eye. She bites back a completely inappropriate huff of laughter at the double entendre, but then it's time, it’s high noon, and everything hinges on just how much Rip recalls from his time in Calvert, before everything went to hell.

Turns out, quite a bit.

Leonard can’t help a wry tip of his head toward the captain as Stillwater, dead as a doornail, hits the dust of Salvation’s main street, but his next action is to cut Jax free, following the younger man toward the other Legends as Stein rushes up to meet him.

“Jefferson, are you all right?” the professor says, urgently, as if he couldn’t tell through their bond.

“Yeah.” The kid blinks at Hunter. “Did you just shoot somebody for me?”

“Yeah. You're welcome,” the captain returns, then turns and lifts an eyebrow at Leonard, who acknowledges the parallel with another tip of his head. Both sides of Firestorm owe their lives, or at least their freedom, to the art of the quick draw today, he thinks with amusement, turning as Sara steps past them, her eyes on the edge of town.

“I don't think we're done here yet,” she says, quietly, and the others turn to follow her gaze.

Townsfolk start running, parents grabbing their children and hustling them toward buildings and other forms of cover. Some take aim, and gunshots echo. The three hulking figures, however, ignore them, continuing to advance.

“They’ve found us,” Hunter breathes, his gun back in his hand. Mick steps forward, though, throwing his arms open wide.

“Ah, friends!” he roars, giving Leonard a brief moment of panic before Mick raises his gun and takes aim. “Welcome!”

It’s almost amusing, how quickly Rip’s fine words about protecting the timeline get discarded when the shit really goes down. Firestorm roars into the sky and Sara pulls out her bo, but while the captain had apparently managed to snag another of his fancy revolvers for Hex and the ATOM suit for Raymond, he'd neglected to grab Leonard’s cold gun or Mick’s heat gun. Leonard grimly distracts one of the Hunters by firing his other revolver, the bullets pinging off the armor, before Mick tackles the figure and gets in a few good licks.

Leonard takes a look around to see if any of the others are in need of assistance, but the fight’s over almost too fast. Sara straightens her hat, collapses her bo and winks at him, and Raymond rushes back to full size, grinning. Len shrugs and turns, just in time to see Mick take out the last Hunter standing.

“Fool,” the bounty hunter growls into his face, “the Time Masters have initiated Omega Protocols.” He laughs weakly. “The Pilgrim's coming for you, Chronos. Your deaths are just a matter of time."

“Yeah, yeah,” Mick mutters, letting the man drop. He shrugs, turning toward the others, pausing as he sees Leonard watching him. “Well, that was easy."

After making such a mess, it only makes sense that they help clean it up a little. The townsfolk are more than willing to embrace them, now, and while Leonard may roll his eyes about the pragmatic change of heart, well, he can understand it.

He’s just arrived back into town after helping Mick and Jax make sure the Stillwater gang really had abandoned its hideout, getting the gray horse stabled with its fellows and then sauntering slowly along the main street, taking it all in. It’s been interesting. He’s not sure he really cares to return, but it’s been...interesting.

“Mr. Snart.”

Leonard pauses, just a moment, then turns, regarding the tall figure that’s regarding him in return.

“Mr. Hex,” he returns after a pause, slipping into the drawl, hooking his fingers into his belt loops, that much closer to his gun. He’s still not entirely sure he trusts Hex. He’s guessing that might be mutual. “Didn’t even know you knew my name.”

The scarred man shrugs. “Been askin’ around.”

“That so?”

“It is.” Hex studies him. “I think you and I, we have a bit more in common than the others in your ragtag group of...saints and sinners."

Leonard lifts an eyebrow, and the bounty hunter continues with a shrug. “Pa that liked his drink, liked even more to use his fists on his wife and son.” He nods as Leonard frowns. “A little better understanding, shall we say, of the way the world works. Issues with...blood brothers. And…”

Hex turns his head, looks over toward the saloon, and Leonard follows his gaze. Sara’s standing there, speaking with great animation to Stein and a somewhat taken-aback woman and young boy. She's still in her western gear, but she’s holding her hat in her hands, and the late afternoon sun is shining on her golden hair. She’s beautiful, but it’s not just that, her spirit shines through, and he can’t see how every single eye in the town isn’t drawn right to her.

Leonard watches her another moment, then looks at Hex. The other man is also watching Sara, but in a way that suggests, to a careful observer, that he’s seeing something else, really. Someone. Someone in the past, not the present, no matter where he’s looking at the time.

After only another few seconds, though, the bounty hunter shakes his head, then looks back at Leonard, expression opaque again.

“Well,” he concludes. “That’s prob’ly best left to memory, for me, anyway.”

Leonard nods, deciding to leave it be, and frowns. “You gotta point?”

Hex seems to consider his words for a minute, then shrugs. “I’m just sayin’,” he says carefully. “Set your feet on that path, with these…heroes…you don’ know where it’s gonna lead. You OK with that? Best be, before you take any more of those steps.”

Leonard’s eyes narrow. He’s not sure of the man’s motives, but he’s never taken kindly to people questioning him. “I know what I’m doing.”

Hex shrugs again. “You did a fine thing, offering to take Sheriff Palmer’s place, but you’d be no less dead if you had. Despite all his noble words, that’s what being a hero usually gets you.”

“Maybe.” Leonard, personally, still thinks he could’ve won that shootout. “And I’m no hero.”

Hex doesn’t argue. “Well, then. You take care, Mr. Snart. And I do hope you’re wrong ‘bout that.”

As Leonard watches, the scarred man untethers his horse from a post nearby, then swings into the saddle. He nods to Leonard, then clicks his tongue to the gelding, swinging it around and heading out of town.

Rip comes out of the sheriff’s office down the street, just then, and Hex reins in, pausing. The two men exchange a few words, and Leonard slowly starts ambling toward them, curiosity getting the better of him.

"...perhaps we will see each other again, my friend,” Hunter says, his voice quiet—and not, Leonard thinks, very optimistic.

“Yeah. I reckon that'd be okay." And then Jonah Hex rides off, not quite into the sunset, but back into history, and the two men watch him go.

Leonard eyes Hunter a moment, but the other man ignores him. Like Hex himself earlier, his eyes seem to be looking at something that’s not really there. Calvert, maybe? Instead of the perhaps too aptly named Salvation?

“Interesting fella,” he comments eventually.

Hunter sighs. “Indeed,” he murmurs. And no matter how much Leonard might like to yank his chain here, he just can’t bring himself to do it. Truly, he’s getting soft.

“This town's seen a lot of interesting,” he says instead. “Suppose you got one of those doohickies that erases people's memories or something?”

“No.” But the question seems to have done its job. Hunter seems to shake himself awake, then gives Leonard a wry look. “But... skepticism and disbelief are a far more effective tool.”

“Ah.” It does make sense. “So, if anybody here talks, no one will believe them.”

“Would you, Mr. Snart?”

As is usual with their lives as of late, however, leaving one problem behind them simply means careening headlong into another. The team stands on the bridge, listening as Mick explains about Omega Protocols and the Pilgrim. The former bounty hunter seems just a little rattled by the development, but given how easy it’d been to take out the Hunters, Leonard’s unimpressed.

"Ooh, scary,” he drawls, leaning on the table next to Sara. “Pretty sure we can handle ourselves.”

She flicks an amused glance at him, but the captain’s not so blasé about it either.

“Indeed,” he comments, moving across the bridge, “which is why she won't be going after the present-day versions of you.”

“She's hunting our younger selves,” Mick cuts in gruffly. “And she won't stop until all of us have been...erased.”

That’s disconcerting, true. But they barely have time to digest the concept when Gideon’s on it, an array of digital information rolling down one of the ship’s viewscreens before the view flickers to the image of a black-clad woman next to a smaller ship that nonetheless looks like it’s the second cousin to the Waverider.

“Captain Hunter, I have located the Pilgrim’s ship across the timeline,” the AI announces. “She’s landed in Central City, 1985, and is on the move. I’m scanning archived footage from the time, looking for Dr. Stein, Mr. Snart or Mr. Rory.”

The team members move toward their seats, knowing that a jump is on the way no matter who the Pilgrim’s target is at this time. Mick simply plops down in the nearest one with a snort.

“They’re probably goin’ after me first, Gideon,” he says with a shrug. “They’ll figure I’m the most dangerous. ‘Cause of the whole Chronos thing.”

Something about that doesn’t make sense. Leonard frowns at the other man even as he drops in his own jump seat. “But...”

“I believe I have found the Pilgrim’s target.”

Leonard looks up at the screen, then...and straight into the past.

Sara hears his intake of breath and glances over. Leonard’s frozen, though, staring at the screen, looking as if he’s seen a ghost. She follows his gaze, studying the footage, grainy black-and-white film that looks like it might have come from a store security camera.

There’s a boy there, short and skinny, with a mop of unkept black curls, a battered backpack, and a dark sweater that’s far too big for him. He’s inspecting a row of groceries on the shelf in front of him, not snack foods but staples like pasta and sauce, and it’s all too clear to a practiced eye that theft is on his mind.

Then the boy glances around, and the camera gets, momentarily, a good shot of his face. Sara sucks in a breath too—because the bones of that face are familiar, and they’re not Mick’s.

“The Pilgrim isn’t going after you first, Mr. Rory,” Hunter says quietly, looking not unsympathetic as he settles into the captain’s chair. “Gideon, please set a course. We need to get there ASAP.”

Leonard closes his eyes as Mick also makes a noise of recognition. Then he shakes his head, opens his eyes and makes himself focus on the underfed, wary-looking boy on the screen.

“No,” he says quietly, “she’s going after me.”

Author's Note: I wasn't all that familiar with the comics canon Jonah Hex, so I did a little research. He has quite a bit in common with our Snart: abusive, alcoholic father (whom he tried to kill at one point), a blood brother with whom he had a very serious falling out, and a distinct sense of honor although he's pretty firmly an anti-hero.

And his love interest at one point was a woman named White...Fawn.

#somewhere on your road tonight #chances are #captain canary #atomichawk #legends of tomorrow

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upsett-spaghett · 7 years

Photo

Ok here we go. Sorry I haven’t been able to get this done sooner, I’ve been studying my ass off for finals. But, after too long, here is my official bio for Nath. (Plus some extra sketchbook doodles, sorry for the messy writing)

@neko-puff

@pinkiainfinity57477

@cybertube-sequel

–

Name: Nathan Dushlan

Nicknames: Nath, Nate

Gender: Male

Age: 20

Born in: Michigan, USA

Currently lives in: Ohio, USA(he goes to collage at Ohio State)

Height: 5'8"

Weight: 173 lbs

Eye Color: Hazel

Hair Color: Light Brown

Family: Natalie(Mother-51), Evan(Brother-24), Matt(Brother-26)

Power: Can generate electricity from his body and use it in various ways(charge arrows, send power to machinery, this is mainly machinery based, with Nate being able to control the electrical current and therefore a machine, as well as generate sparks from his fingertips or other parts of his body. He could probably do natural electricity(lightning, etc) if he really tried but the effort would probably kill him so he doesn’t. Combined with Jason, they can create an electricity Bomb of sorts, similar to a bolt of lightning striking a tree.) He’s also not sure if he’s found a “glitch” or not, but after battle he’s discovered he can help teammates slowly recover PP by “charging” their weapons with his powers. It does take quite an amount of time and energy though.

(Fun extra tidbit- when working with others w/ weather/storm powers he can sometimes throw them off a bit by accident. His body naturally conducts electricity and sometimes it can cause lightning to strike him or things near him. Luckily it doesn’t hurt him, he just describes it as a “slightly tinglily and jumpy feeling” and in larger doses “like I just drank 6 monsters in a row”)

Weapon: For ranged, he uses a Bow and arrow, which transfers over well from IRL. The arrows he shoots are automatically generated thanks to being in Cybertube, so he doesn’t carry a quiver. He can charge the arrows he shoots with his electricity power and shoot them while they are still being effected by it. Different types of arrows can be shot(but only two, including the normal ones)Though, he often prefers to just shoot normal arrows and charge them up. For melee/close ranged, he uses his body. Luckily, he knows how to throw a good punch thanks to Matt, and the “punch”(haha no pun intended) of it is amplified by his powers. He fights with his own style, using dodging and snarky remarks often to tire out the enemy/make them mad then take them out. He uses the small things to his advantage, and is very quick on his feet. He uses his wit in every fight, in order to give him a better chance to win/get out of the fight alive. Appearance: (See above. Civilian clothing will be drawn later.)

Accessories: - He wears gloves that cut off at the knuckle closest to the fingernail, and they’d normally go to just below his shoulder but he rolls them down for convince purposes. The gloves are padded on the inside, and act as arm guards, an essential thing for archers to have. - His goggles help him in multiple ways. From protecting his eyes, helping him see(both because he needs glasses and because they give him night vision), to locating targets and pinpointing their weak spots. Personality: Nathan is super competitive, though not always very forward about it. In a fight he can hold well on his own, but would usually prefer to have backup, mainly someone he can trust and knows will be able to take care of themselves. This is useful for the times when he sometimes bites off more than he can chew. In battle he’ll often snack talk to stall for time to come up with a strategy, and often uses the opponents rage against them. He can mask his emotions well, but doesn’t really like to unless it’s to help the team out or something like that(For example- acting confident when he’s scared enough to puke to give his other teammates confidence and hope, cracking a joke to lighten the mood even if he doesn’t wanna say anything, etc). He’s not the most open person out there, but generally if you ask something he’ll tell it if he knows the person well enough. He’s pretty good at coming up with solutions on the spot, but not as good at sticking to a set and timely plan. He values brains over brawn, and that’s how he’s gotten through life. He’s learned to never underestimate anybody and how to use humor as both a coping and defense mechanism. Backstory: Nath grew up with his parents, two older brothers, and his dog, Collie, in Northern Michigan, on a beach town connected to Lake Michigan. He would always roughhouse with his two older brothers, but being the youngest and smallest he was always the wimpiest of the three. So instead of using brute force and power, he was forced to make do with his natural speed and acquired wit to hold his own against them(sometimes he’d get his dog to help him- but that’s totally not cheating ok!!). His life got turned around when his Dad got diagnosed with stage IIB colon cancer in the summer of when Nathan turned 13. The next few months were filled with hospital visits and helping his Dad make paper boats and planes from his bedside table, until finally, his dad’s condition started to get better. He was released with medication and was able to do everything again, which his childish dad took advantage of as soon as he was able to. Everything was going fine until winter Of when Nate was 15, when his dad’s condition suddenly got bad. He was bedridden pretty quickly, and the cycle of hospital visits started once again. But this time, only a month later, his condition greatly dropped and he passed away within a week. After this, Nate had a really rough streak. He stopped caring about school, and got in fights so often that he’s almost daily come home hiding black eyes or a split lip. This lasted for about a year and a half, when Nathan stopped fighting so much and such after a close near death experience. He had the realization that this wasn’t what his dad would want for him after that. Instead, he now threw himself into his schoolwork and the sport he had been playing on and off since he was 11, archery. He brought up his grades and was able to graduate high school with good enough grades to make it into Ohio state. And this is where he is today.

Extra: - His greatest fear is losing the ones he loves, especially due to some mistake on his part - Dog person - Loves storms, always has - He loves swimming, and knows how to handle jet-skis like another limb - He still has some of the paper airplanes and boats he and his dad made and wrote on from his dad’s first hospital stay - His dad’s death does not haunt him, and he’s come to terms with it. He’s moved past it, but still gets kinda sad and sentimental when talking about him - He’s p strong in his arms, due to archery - He’s more fast than strong

#cybertube #cybertube Oc #Nate #Nathan dushlan

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gumnut-logic · 4 years

Text

The Hero (Part Five)

Title: The Hero

Sequel/companion piece to The Joker

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

Author: Gumnut

20 Nov 2019

Fandom: Thunderbirds Are Go 2015/ Thunderbirds TOS

Rating: Teen

Summary: Thunderbird Two, with Virgil and Gordon aboard, is hijacked and stolen. With Virgil injured, it is up to Gordon to save his brother and his ‘bird. Sequel/companion piece to ‘The Joker’. Gordon is far more than he seems.

Word count: 2301

Spoilers & warnings: Violence, WASP!Gordon, Military!Scott, whump, language.

Timeline: Sequel/companion piece to ‘The Joker’.

Author’s note: For @corbyinoz because she has written some magnificent Virgil and Gordon fics and is a great inspiration. Thank you for all your wonderful words.

Half the size of the last chapter, but it called for a cut here. I hope you enjoy it :D

It started with ‘The Joker’. I got interested in WASP!Gordon and decided to explore his side of the story. Then PLOT happened. Now I have no idea what is going on.

Many thanks to @vegetacide and @scribbles97 for putting up with my crazy.

Disclaimer: Mine? You’ve got to be kidding. Money? Don’t have any, don’t bother.

-o-o-o-

Tanusha Kyrano baffled Gordon Tracy.

She was the same age as he was, so theoretically he should have had a new friend who could team up with him against all older and younger brothers.

But she wouldn’t let him in.

The girl was standoffish, never smiled and even showed fear at his presence at times. When her father was around, she clung to him.

It took Gordon a long time to work it all out, after all there was only so much an eight-year-old could possibly understand about the world. Over time she did relent and grew closer to all the brothers, though more than some.

She never did quite trust Gordon.

Oh, he had no doubt she loved him like a brother as he loved her like a sister, but there was always something caught between them.

Perhaps he should not have pranked her when she was so young...when she was vulnerable, but he hadn’t understood and the damage had been done.

He had only wanted to make her smile.

But Tanusha Kyrano had been hurt far too much in her young life and it showed.

As they grew up, she followed him into school, into his classes. There was the time he stood up to the bullies who cornered her in the gym.

Several years later, she returned the favour, nearly crippling a boy in the process.

His father hadn’t been happy.

Kyrano had frowned, but even Gordon had the astuteness to see that sparkle in the security officer’s eyes.

No one messed with Kayo after that.

Scott had sat her down and there had been words. The eldest Tracy liked to keep his ragtag entourage on the right side of the law.

Gordon just smiled and elbowed her in the ribs.

Her smile in return had lifted his spirits more than any grin ever could have.

From that point on, she was his sister on all fronts.

When Jeff Tracy disappeared, she was already fully groomed to support International Rescue. She stepped into her father’s role like she was made for it.

She was.

But the smiles disappeared.

But then no one was smiling on Tracy Island for quite some time.

Then a burly rescuee caught Gordon off guard and landed him in the hospital. Scott was worried. Virgil, hovering.

Kayo was livid.

The tongue lashing she gave him was one for the record books. The moment he was mobile and functional, her training response began.

All the brothers were caught up in it. Virgil complained like crazy, Alan whined, John tried to hide until Kayo rode the elevator herself and dragged him down by the scruff of his uniform.

How she found a scruff on that skin tight garment was one of the major mysteries of their time.

Scott just backed her up in full.

Even when she wiped the mat with him.

Sixteen times.

But Gordon...Gordon found his feet. Grief had knocked the family sideways. This return to training, to honing his body to its best, it was familiar and it made him better.

It became ritual, one they both enjoyed.

And he could almost match her.

Almost.

Until one day he did.

-o-o-o-

“Hello, Mister Virgil.”

Virgil blinked up at the silver-haired man and frowned. “What are you doing here?” He steeled himself and pushed his body upright, gritting his teeth as absolutely everything complained, but there was no way he was lying down for this conversation.

A hand caught him and helped him right himself.

He sat on the edge of the bed. A moment to catch his breath.

And he realised he was shirtless and only wearing pyjama shorts.

A flash of modesty and he came to the conclusion that he didn’t have the energy to care.

Kyrano grabbed a chair and sat down in front of him. “How are you, Mister Virgil?”

A sigh. “Been better. Scott call you in?”

“He did.” Those green eyes were assessing. “What happened?”

Virgil closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “I got my ass handed to me.”

“You did.” He didn’t have to look to know those green eyes were tracking the bruising across his torso. “What did they want?”

“The usual.”

“Specifics.”

Virgil paused and looked up at the man. “What, Scott didn’t give you the details?”

“I need to hear your version.”

“Bad guys, wanted my ‘bird, beat me up, Gordon saved me, we came home. End of story.”

“They had you drugged and restrained. What did they want?”

The man’s bluntness cut to the core of the matter and it hurt more than his ribs. “As I said, my ‘bird.” He stared at Kyrano and something chewed on the back of his mind. There was something...

“Do you know who they were?”

“Scott knows. Some new group, Null? Got it in for us and the Chaos Crew. Apparently, we’re the easier target.” The logic behind that just hurt. Who thought there would be so much opposition to he and his brothers simply trying to save lives? Sometimes the world just sucked.

“Mister Virgil, did you recognise any of them?”

A blink. “What?”

“Were any of your captors familiar?”

Involuntarily, his mind was flung back to that woozy fog. His memory was patchy and faded in and out. “They were going to hurt Gordon.” Panic swelled as the memories caught him. “Can’t let him hurt Gordon!”

His agitated voice echoed around his bedroom and snapped him out of the memory.

Him.

The image was blurry. He had been held down and something shoved into his mouth. Something. Forced to swallow.

Sad green eyes.

Oh, hell.

-o-o-o-

“Kyrano?” Gordon just stared at his aunt. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Kyrano has been a member of this family for a long time, Colonel. You better have proof to back up that statement.” Scott’s voice was cold.

“As a similar member of your family, Scott, I hope you would trust me enough to not make such an accusation lightly. He was recently identified in conversation with the leaders of the Null faction.”

Gordon flared. “How the hell do you manage to uncover information like that, yet can’t catch a single asshole?”

Brown eyes swung around and pinned him where he stood. “I know your confidence in the GDF has fallen in recent years, Gordon, but trust me when I say we are not completely useless.”

Could have fooled me. But he didn’t say it. “Conversation? Doesn’t specify much.”

“Lieutenant, have you considered why we did not capture any Null operatives after this incident?”

She hadn’t called him by his rank in years. It straightened his spine regardless. “Why?”

“Because your operative was onsite. There were casualties.”

Gordon froze. Casualties. But... “Well, that vetoes your theory. Kyrano wouldn’t let himself be seen unless he wanted you to see him.”

“What he wanted is unknown, but he was there, Lieutenant. My question is, do you know where he is now?”

Gordon opened his mouth, but Scott cut him off. “Why, Colonel?”

Her eyes grew cold. “Don’t protect him, Commander. This goes far beyond you and I. He is a dangerous man.”

“I am well aware of his capabilities, Commander. As I am yours.”

Her lips thinned. “Pride before the fall, Scott. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m en route.” She paused a moment. A blink and her eyes softened. “Scott, you’re family. Please believe me, I don’t want to see you or your brothers hurt.”

Scott tilted his head just slightly. “We’re already hurt, Aunt Val. I’m sorry, but your concerns are a few injuries too late.”

His brother’s words hit hard and Gordon held back a flinch as his aunt took a step back. “Very well, Commander. I will see you shortly.” The transmission cut, leaving silence in the comms room.

Except for the blood in his ears.

Gordon jabbed his comms, bruising his collarbone in the process. “Kayo, is Kyrano with you?”

Her negative came back immediately. “He left a good fifteen minutes ago. I thought he was with you?”

A sigh. “He isn’t. Tin, you need to find him now.”

“FAB.”

Scott’s voice was sharp and desolate. “Thunderbird Five, give me a location on Kyrano.”

John flickered in. “You know I can’t track him, Scott.”

“Find him.” The tone brooked no argument and John blinked out.

The eyes that turned to Gordon were tortured. “If he was on site...”

“He wanted to speak to Virgil. He has been very interested in Virgil.”

A moment and Scott was moving, Gordon on his heels.

-o-o-o-

Virgil froze his expression, but he had never been good at lying or obfuscation.

“Mister Virgil.” The older man sighed and shook his head. “I am so sorry.” Those green eyes were sad again and it chilled him.

“Kyrano?”

“You were always the gentle one. You took such care of Tanusha. The music maker, the artist. I did hope you could not remember. But I can’t let that go.”

Images flickered in Virgil’s head, his brain attempting to reconcile the quiet, calm man of his childhood with the foggy blur who had hurt him.

With the sad man before him.

He shifted back on the bed, attempting to gain distance, but Kyrano reached into his tunic and pulled out a familiar electroshock weapon and shoved it into Virgil’s thigh.

The result was immediate. His whole body locked up, pain pulsing in waves as his muscles spasmed. It seemed to go on forever. He couldn’t cry out, couldn’t scream, couldn’t breathe.

And it stopped.

Blood stole his hearing as he gasped in air, his lungs struggling to compensate. His body failed to respond to any of his commands to move away and he lay limp on the bed while Kyrano straightened up, staring down at him.

“I had hoped you would at least put up a fight. It isn’t like I want to put you down like a dog. I’d rather not kill you at all.”

Virgil opened his mouth, at first gaping like a fish, desperately trying to form a word.

Kyrano continued to gaze calmly down at him.

Supreme effort and Virgil got out one word in little more than a gasp. “W-why?”

“Because I have no choice.” And there was true sadness in those green eyes. “I can’t...” A swallow. “I tried...” He shook his head. “What has to be done, is done.” Something truly pain-filled flickered across his face.

He pulled a small box out of his pocket and, opening it, held up a tiny pill. “Now it is time for you to go to sleep and never wake up.”

No.

This couldn’t be right.

Kyrano was a second father. He had been there all his life. He couldn’t...

Virgil tried to drag himself across the bed and away, but his limbs wouldn’t respond correctly. The bed covers scrunched up under him.

“I have always admired that Tracy stubbornness. It has kept your family alive and moving through so many challenges.” A hand clamped onto Virgil’s leg and yanked. “I wish it could do the same this time.”

“No! N-no, don’t!” But Kyrano was pulling him closer, a hand clamped around his neck, a knee pressed down on his throbbing thigh.

A shadow appeared behind Kyrano and the man spun off Virgil, leaving him gasping.

“Daughter. I expected better from you.” The voice was calm and while Virgil attempted to regain control of his breathing, there was little more than the sound of flesh hitting flesh.

“Still predictable, I see.” Something smashed. Virgil desperately tried to move, to struggle off the bed. Kayo. He squeezed his eyes shut. Pull yourself together. Kyrano was going to hurt Kayo.

His daughter.

This couldn’t be right.

He finally turned his body enough to see the two opponents.

There was killing force at work.

Kayo had always been impressive, but this was beyond it all. Their bodies were a blur and every movement was counteracted by the other.

His sister’s expression was contorted.

A matter of seconds and her father broke through her defences. A single targeted stroke and Tanusha flew across the room to collide with the window sill. A sickening thud and his sister collapsed to the floor.

She didn’t get up.

“Oh, Tanusha.” Virgil frowned as the man wiped away a tear. “I tried to spare you. I tried so hard.”

“Kyrano!” Scott stood in the door, a weapon in his hand.

The security officer didn’t hesitate. Spinning he struck out ever so fast. The gun went flying. The electroshock weapon whipped into Kyrano’s hand and jabbed into Scott’s gut.

His brother spasmed and collapsed, twitching, his blue eyes open but vacant.

Virgil finally managed to throw himself off the bed.

He slid to a heap on the floor, little better off than his brother.

Kyrano turned to him. “I am so sorry, Mister Virgil.” The man reached down and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. “It has to be done more than ever now. At least it will bring all of this to an end.” A harsh breath. “Finally, an end.”

But there was a huff of breath as they were suddenly yanked apart. Virgil hit the ground hard, his ribs screamed.

“Get the fuck away from him.”

A grunt. Flesh hitting flesh. Virgil struggled to look up.

“Mister Gordon.” A slap.

“What the hell are you doing, K?” Another thud and something crashed to the floor. Virgil finally managed to turn himself around.

Kyrano and Gordon were circling each other. Calm green met furious red brown.

“I do what needs done.”

“You tried to kill Virgil.”

“I tried to kill all of you.”

“You failed.”

“I’m not yet finished.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Your humour is lacking.”

“I’m not joking.”

“We shall see.”

“No, Kyrano, this ends here.”

And Gordon leapt.

-o-o-o-

End Part Five

Part Six

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Virgil Tracy #Gordon Tracy #Scott Tracy #Kayo Kyrano #Val Casey #Kyrano #the joker and the hero

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sparkinsidewrites · 4 years

Text

Shards of Us - Chapter Nine

Title: Shards of Us

Chapter: 9/9

Character/Pairing: Davey Havok/Adam Carson

Genre: Angst

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Creating a balance between what was and what is strains the ever twisted relationship between Adam, Aubrey, and Davey. Sequel to The Devil Inside. Written with Havoksangel.

Authors Notes/Warnings: Nothing in this piece ever happened. I claim no ownership nor do I make any sort of profit from this, other than pride and a sense of amusement.

NINE

Davey sighed and rolled his hips under Adam, kissing him roughly. This felt so nice. It had been forever since they'd made love, since they had the time to truly enjoy one another. Things had been so hectic. He scratched his nails lightly down his back and nipped at his lips. He loved this man so much it hurt and by the grace of God, they were still together after all the hurt that had circled them.

Adam sighed, nuzzling into Davey’s neck. The feel of his lover’s warm, hard body beneath his was incredible. Between work and the chaos their lives had become, the two barely had a chance to kiss let alone go much farther. "Davey," he murmured into his lover’s ear. He loved the way his lover’s name fell from his lips.

Davey kissed down Adam's neck and to his shoulder, biting him softly. Gently he wrapped his legs around him and moved his body slowly to push Adam deeper inside him. This was Heaven, it was perfect. This was what he had been waiting for. This was all he needed.

Hissing, Adam allowed his hands to grip Davey’s moving hips, keeping his rhythm steady. He didn’t want to rush this. It had been far too long since he’d had Davey like this. Far too long. This would last, he would make sure of it. Even if it drove both of them mad. "Slow," he whispered, "We have all night."

He nods and whimpers. "Its been so long, Baby." He didn’t want to wait. Not now, not when they were so close.

"Mmm," Adam mumbled in response, his eyes slipping shut. "Too long."

Davey scratched his nails down Adam's back and arched his body into his lover. He was so achingly close, he couldn’t see straight. He needed this. Needed Adam.

Sensing the change in his lover, Adam slowed his movement even more. He wanted to make Davey long for this. Make him want it with every fiber of his being. It didn’t matter that he could barely handle this himself. No. Waiting, wanting, made this all the sweeter. Even if it would piss his beautiful lover off.

Davey groaned. "Adam, please," he pleaded, bearing down. "God, I need to come." He couldn’t decide for the life of him why Adam felt the need to torture him.

Adam merely chuckled, "Soon."

Davey was just getting ready to protest when a tiny whimper from the bedroom across the hall filtered throughout the room. Davey shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. Oh God, it was over. Natalie was crying and he was going to stay hard and miserable. As much as he’d come to love the little girl, he’d never regretted her more than he did in that moment.

"Dammit," Adam mumbled under his breath, slowly and carefully pulling out of his obviously frustrated lover. He tensed, sensitive, pulling himself into a sitting position and fumbling blindly for his pajama bottoms. This little girl would be the death of him, that Adam was sure of.

Davey panted and licked his lips, trying his best not to scream. Natalie had a knack for crying just as they were about to finish. It never failed. He sat up and ran his hand through his hair. "Well, she has her mother's timing."

Adam cocked his eyebrow, "Davey..."

Davey looked down, regretting his outburst almost immediately. Aubrey was still a tense subject between them. "Sorry."

"She’s just a baby, she doesn’t know any better." Adam didn’t want this to start an argument between them, not when things had been going so well. "Please don’t be like this. Please."

Davey looked up at him. "Adam, you really need to relax. I am not faulting the baby. I was trying to make a joke because my dick seems to stay hard and painful when we keep her."

Adam sighed, "I’m sorry...I just..." His voice trailed off, "I’ll go make sure she’s alright." With a soft, but strained, smile, Adam tugged on his pants carefully and made his way to the adjacent bedroom. Natalie’s tiny face was red and Adam felt his heart sink slightly. He hated it when she cried. Hated knowing she wasn’t happy. Gently, he made his way to her crib, lifting the small girl into his arms.

"Hello angel. Daddy’s here, it’s okay. I’m here," he whispered, rocking her back and forth in his arms.

She rubbed her tiny head on his shoulder and gummed it. Her tiny face was stained with tears as she cried harder. Davey got out of bed and walked into the bedroom, placing a hand on the back of her head. "Is she alright?"

"I don’t know," Adam whispered, feeling helpless. Here she was, dependant on him completely and he hadn’t the first idea how to make it better. She wasn’t wet and he had fed her less than an hour before. He couldn’t fathom what was wrong.

Davey watched as she gummed Adam's shoulder and took her gently from his arms, cradling her. Carefully he put a finger in her mouth and felt her gums, feeling a little bump. "Ah, she's teething."

"How can you know just what to do when I don’t have the first idea?" Adam mumbled, watching Davey softly rock his daughter, letting her gum his pinkie. Davey seemed to be a natural, why couldn’t Adam have things come so easily to him?

Davey grinned at him. "Because you are scared you are going to break her." He bent down and kissed her forehead.

Adam shot his head up, staring at Davey.

"What?" Davey questioned, watching his lover curiously.

"I’m not scared I’m going to break her," Adam spoke in his own defense, though his tone was far less convincing than his words.

Davey raised an eyebrow and handed him back Natalie, leaving the room with a smirk. "Go for it, Daddy."

Adam glared after his lover before turning his attention back to the tiny girl once again in his arms. Her cries only grew louder and no amount of bouncing would silence them. Sighing, he looked at her once more, trying desperately to remember the things he’d read in the number of parenting books he’d acquired in the months leading up to and after Natalie’s birth. "Cold wash cloth," he mumbled to himself, proud that his frazzled brain had come up with something.

Bouncing her in his arms, Adam made his way into the bathroom, pausing that the linen closet for a fresh wash cloth. He cursed when he couldn’t find any. Now what was he going to do?

Davey walked in and dangled one off his finger. "We washed them today." A smirk spread across his angular face.

"Aren’t we cocky?" he murmured, taking the wash cloth from Davey’s fingers and reaching to turn on the cold water.

Davey looked at him. "Adam, are you mad at me?"

"What do you mean?" He busied himself, soaking the cloth and ringing it dry before placing the tip of it in Natalie’s mouth.

She busily chewed on it and looked up at him, whimpering a bit as she quieted. "I just wanted to make sure you weren’t mad at me because of what happened earlier."

"I’m not mad...I’m just...I want this to work and sometimes I don’t know how it will. I feel like I’m fumbling around in the dark half the time. What kind of father am I? I can’t even take care of my own child?"

Davey kissed his shoulder then gently petted Natalie's head. He took a look in the mirror, grateful for what he was seeing, something he never though would happen. Aubrey was actually letting Adam and him share custody of her daughter. Letting them both be a part of her life. He kissed Adam’s shoulder a second time. "You are a fantastic father."

Adam closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of Davey’s lips against his bare skin. This was something he cherished, having the both of them in his life. "You’re biased."

"She loves you and you take care of her. No parent has the answers right away."

"You sure you’ve never done this before?" Adam asked with a smile. "You’re too much of a natural."

He grinned. "I helped raise my little brother and I watched my mother."

"So no secret kids stashed away somewhere?" He chuckle. Davey shook his head, "Just as well. Means more of you for me."

Davey licked his neck. "No, no secret children," he assured him, still rubbing Natalie's head. She was finally starting to drift back to sleep.

A shiver ran through Adam’s body. "You are the Devil, do you know that?"

Davey smirked over his shoulder, his dark eyes the only thing able to be seen in the mirror as Adam looked at him. "I know and you love it."

"Just wait until she calms, I’ll make you eat your words."

Davey smirked and pinched Adam's ass as he moved away. "She's calm."

Adam squeezed his eyes shut, his breathing rate increasing for a moment. Calming himself, he risked glance down at his daughter who was gnawing on the washcloth, her eyes closed. He almost didn’t want to risk moving her for fear of upsetting her once again. But the temptation Davey had laid before him was great. Raising his eyes, he sought Davey’s dark ones in the mirror.

"Put her to bed, Adam. She's asleep," he said with a smile.

"Eager aren’t we?" Adam joked with a smile, his eyes once again falling to the sleeping child in his arms. "You are going to be such a bad influence on her, I can tell."

Davey smirked. "Nah, I'm just gonna keep her daddy happy," he told him, licking his lips.

"Well then you’re a bad influence on me then. What are we going to do when she gets older. If she’s anything like her parents, she’ll be a quick one and I don’t fancy having my daughter walk in on us," Adam added with a smirk, motioning for Davey to lead the way from the bathroom.

Davey grinned and sashayed to the bedroom and leaned on the door frame. "Well," he began," I suppose we will just have to figure something out unless you want to stop having sex with me."

"That might be an option," Adam dead panned, mirth twinkling in his blue eyes at the shocked look on his lover’s face. He quietly made his way into Natalie’s darkened room, placing her gently back into her crib. She stirred just slightly before falling back to sleep. Adam found himself standing beside her, watching her tiny chest rise and fall as she breathed. She was beautiful, perfect.

Davey grinned and walked in behind Adam, watching his lover watch his sleeping daughter, and wrapped his arms around his waist. "She's exquisite."

Leaning back against his lover, Adam nodded, "Isn’t she?"

Davey slowly kissed up the side of his neck and sucked on his ear lobe. "Like her father."

Shivering, Adam leaned back into Davey’s warm body. "You’ll say anything to get into my pants, huh?" Not that he was complaining. Turning more fully, Adam leaned in to claim Davey’s lips with his own.

"Oh yeah. I'm a sweet talker and I know what I want," he said against his mouth.

Allowing his arms to wrap around Davey’s waist, Adam slowly backed them both out of the baby’s room and back into their own. "And what is that?"

Davey rocked his hips against Adam and kisses his neck. "Give me what you've got, Daddy," he said with a smirk.

With a soft laugh, Adam shook his head. "You think you can handle that?"

"I always can."

"So cocky," he teased, nipping at Davey’s neck, "I like that," he paused again, kissing down his lover’s chest, "Very much."

Slipping a hand down Adam's chest and into his pajama bottoms, he wrapped his hand around his cock and led him to the bed. "Show me."

A strangled groan fell from Adam’s lips."What do you want me to do?"

Davey licked the shell of his ear and breathed hotly against it. "Me."

Pushing him roughly back onto the bed, Adam smirked, "I plan on it."

#afislash #Advey #Shards of Us #co-written with havoksangel #AU #sparkinside writes

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