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doodlingdilemma · 5 months

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TW SCARS AND BURNSCARS

Hello hello

This, my friends, is a project I've worked on in cooperation with @a-plethora-of-peters to bring some art into the next chapter of their "So Much For Stardust" Fanfic

I was asked if I was open to make some art and of course I said hell yes

I might have spent 27 hours drawing for this chapter, but it was worth it (I think, idk)

So here are the drawings all in order

[If you've somehow not read the first line of this post TW for scars and burnscars]

You can find the fanfic right HERE VVV

Under the cut are design sketches of all the goobers in this fic

Congrats on making it here

Have these

#mcyt fanart #digital illustration #mcyt #my art #tangotek fanart #skizzleman fanart #impulsesv fanart #zedaph fanart #tangotek #skizzleman #impulsesv #zedaph #so much for stardust #dilemma art and stuff

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lowcalheavyweight · 10 months

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Tw: vent, personal meanspo? (Seriously these thoughts don't apply to anyone else, I don't think any other people have measurable worth, i love you)

They won't care

They will never care and they have never cared, even when they thought you were sick.

You tried kindness and sincerity

They didn't like you

You tried being smart and helpful

They didn't want to talk to you

You tried making yourself interesting with hobbies and style

They didn't want to be your friends

You tried dressing pretty&sexy

They didn't care about you

Now you are trying being petite and fragile

They won't attempt to reach out to you

"You are too intimidating," "You're self-sufficient," "Independent,"

Wha-I'M LONELY.

TO THE POINT I'M STRUGGLING TO FUNCTION

I will beg for scraps of your friendship that you deny me for these excuses

My attemps to bond and reach out have left me with anxiety so crippling I can't talk to people without being convinced they hate me

I'm obsessing about my worth as a human being, desperately holding onto my "worthy" parts and crisis panicing when I accidentally got a burnscar cause that means my stock value just went down, right?

I use my body as a barganing chip and I'm too scared to do what i want with it cause my "possible worth" will be higher if I'm still able to become anything they want me to be, for the person who finally picks me up

My brain tells me I will be worthier if I lose more weight

My brain tells me they will just contine to look past you

I'm already on 24/7 sale, they will never pick you up

Never choose you

I've been reflecting on the past recently (can you tell?!??haha) and remembered middle school.

I was already eating quite disordered(without realising - in a soft binge cycle and missing hunger and fullness ques) and we had a schoolwork to "mark on this website your eating habits-food etc for a period of time and submit to the teacher"

If I remember correctly i think it didn't let me log a empty breakfast so I asked, in front of the while class "what if you eat irregularly?" and was then openly pressed until I revealed I mostly only ate once a day and sometimes missed days (once again, I didn't even really try to hide it, I ate a lot when I did and didn't think about food much, I just wanted to do my schoolwork properly)

My teacher then told me to eat something for meals to log them and I just got frustrated cause before, they had extra told us not to change our habits for this assigment

I forgot about it soon and only long after realised my whole class thought I had a full blown ed at that time

And all they did was - ONE person told me once, randomly to eat breakfast every morning, at least a sandwich (at least?? dude that's a whole MEAL) and report to them every day what I ate.

Honestly, at that point I was just confused but happy someone seemed interested in having a daily conversation.

They never once talked to me again.

And honestly, I was actually super sick at that time, not with an ed but severe depression and disassociation due to family trauma. Staying up 72h straight REGULARLY, fevers and sick all the time, severe memory loss

I was visibly sick,

with what they thought was an ed

And noone cared

They will never care, you will never reach anyone or anything else exept your ugw

Your worth will still drop cause your health, skin, mental capacity and wellbeing will drop it lower than your weightloss could ever regain

You will die alone, anxious and fuking pathetic cause it is all your fault anyways and noone feels bad for you "being so lonely boohoo"

You are the real evil anyways, otherwise you'd be worthy of love at this point.

Die like you deserve

Xoxo ♡

#tw 3d vent #ed vent #tw ed rant #tw disordered eating #tw eating issues #tw restrictive ed #tw ana shit #i want to be tiny #i wanna be weightless #i want to be weightless #disordered eating in tags #disordered eating thoughts #ed disorder #mean$p0

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coolingrosa · 2 years

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Tubbo has rlly bad self esteem issues bc of his scars. He hides them, and refuses to talk about them. He also overworks himself bc he thinks he deserves it. All around unhealthy mindset. You know, the fun stuff. So Ranboo takes it upon himself to try to help him. For stuff like this, you can’t just start off heavy. You have to start small and slow so the person struggling doesn’t get overwhelmed. We know C!Tubbo LOVES to avoid talking about his issues, so bringing too much light onto them will (logically speaking) freak him out. I can totally see Ranboo just offhandling saying compliments. Small ones that doesn’t make Tubbo question what he’s doing bc Tubbo is smart and he WILL pick up on it. From there, it’s making sure Tubbo doesn’t over work himself as much and trying to get him to stay on a looser schedule. That includes off days. On these days- Ranboo makes sure to force Tubbo to sit on the couch with a bunch of blankets and some coco so he can RELAX. I can also see Micheal asking Ranboo about his scars and him using it as a teaching moment and a way to help tubbos confidence by describing them as something not vile, but cool. With C!tubbo, I think having something to relate them to would help him. So, Ranboo tells him one day that the scars aren’t just a memory of what happened, but they showed he survived and he’s here and still alive. They mean victory rather than defeat

He used to cover up the side of his face with the worst scar bc he was missing an eye so that no one could see it. He thought It was disgusting. However, when Ranboo proposed, he moved it to the side to show him. He believed he didn’t deserve to be married to Ranboo, and he felt like he lied to him by hiding it. Ranboo didn’t change his mind. He was surprised, but he see Tubbo any different. And so, Tubbo started to hide it a little less. He’ll get set back at times when people refuse to look at him, but Ranboo will always swoop in and be sure to look him directly in the face while talking to him, right in the eyes because he trusts him, and then glare at the person as soon as Tubbo turns away

#dsmp hc #dream smp hc #c!ranboo #c!tubbo #c!beeduo #tw!burnscars #tw selfhate

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