#tom Kazansky whumptober | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

topgun-imagines · 7 months

Text

Day 6: Part Of Me

Pairing: Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky x fem!reader

Synopsis: When you wake up to horrific pain in the middle of the night, you immediately know what’s wrong.

Warnings: Miscarriage, blood, death, panic attack, mention of hospitals, mental breakdown & descriptions of pain.

Word count: 1.5k

The world around you was calm. For 3:17, that was perfectly normal. A soft breeze flitted through the open window, making you shiver in your sleep and curl into Tom. Even in his sleep, his arm tightened around you. For the first time in what felt like weeks, you were finally at peace. With Tom’s never-ending workload, the two of you could hardly ever find time just for yourselves. So, you relished these moments. Even if you were simply sleeping next to him, the two of you were together and that was all you could have needed.

This was the kind of peace you longed for. Being held like this, in his arms, didn’t get to happen very often due to his busy schedule. Oftentimes, he was on the other side of the world on a ship, making it hard for the two of you to even say goodnight. It was safe to say that being snuggled against his warm skin was a pleasant change of pace.

Tom lay sound asleep next to you, flimsy sheet draped across his waist and soft snores falling from his parted lips. No matter how peaceful the outside world appeared, that was far from the truth. Even your fiancé was blissfully unaware of the moment you woke up in a stomach-churning pain that left you breathless. Regardless of the cool sea breeze blowing through the window, your skin was warm and sticky. Sharp gasps escaped you and tears welled in your eyes at the immense pain.

You didn’t know what to do. Panic began to flood through you. Without making a sound, you hobbled out of the bed, hardly able to walk. You paused and flicked on the lamp. The sight on your side of the bed almost had you collapsing onto the ground.

It had been two months since you found out that you were pregnant and it had been the happiest eight weeks of your life. Now, however, you were watching all of that come crashing down around you. You had read every book on pregnancy you could find and as much as you wanted to deny it, you knew exactly what was happening.

You had heard horror stories of women miscarrying. Stories of nights where everything seemed fine at first, only for them to be in the hospital a few hours later. Tom had assured you that that would never be the case with you. Oh how wrong he was. You should have seen this coming when it was so difficult to get pregnant. You should have known. How could you have been so careless? This was all your fault.

The thought had you shaking, hand clasped over your mouth tightly. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stifle your sobs. You were crying hysterically now as the reality of the situation sunk in.

You had lost your baby.

You did everything right. You had made sure to follow every rule, no matter how foolish or silly or redundant you thought it was, you followed it. Every. Single. Rule. Even random advice from family members that had absolutely no business being a fact. You still followed and listened. All because you wanted to keep your baby safe. Now, it seemed as if none of that mattered.

Through the thoughts racing around your mind, you couldn’t hear the way you were nearly hyperventilating. But Tom did. Within seconds of sitting up groggily, he was by your side. Your sobs only grew louder at the feeling of his gentle touch. You had failed. You had failed him. Why was he comforting you? Surely you didn’t deserve it. He would pull away when he finally understood. You were positive.

Only, he never did pull back. Not even when you tried to tell him what was wrong. “Ice-” You gasped through your sobs, struggling to breathe properly. All he did was hold you tiger, tears of his own welling in his eyes. They were fixated on your side of the bed. He was staring at the dark spot on the crisp white sheets; the spot that was covered in blood.

Ever so slowly, the tears began leaking down his face. “I know, baby,” It was softer than a whisper but it spoke volumes. Together, the two of you sobbed as his head collapsed into the crook of your neck. “I know.”

When you let out a sound akin to a scream was the moment that Tom finally rose from the ground. His movements were quick as he helped you to your feet, helping you change from your flimsy shorts into a loose pair of his sweats. Soft words of assurance were whispered against your temple as Ice picked you up bridal style and carried you to the car. Deep down, you knew that he was much more terrified than he was letting on, but he was keeping a brave face for you. In your hazy mind, you couldn’t find the words to thank him.

In the air, Ice was a very calm and collected man. One of the most important things to him was his ability to follow rules to the letter. He never let anything mess him up, not even Maverick. But now, he was breaking more than several traffic laws to get you to the hospital quickly. Right now, he didn’t care how recklessly he had to drive, he was going to get you to that hospital.

Within ten minutes, Ice was parking the car in front of the doors. It was hard to focus on anything but the pain surging through your body, setting your nerve endings ablaze. Once again, you were lifted into his arms and rushed into the building. “Help!” Even through your unfocused, fuzzy mind, you could hear his cry for help. At this point you were delirious. Your head lolled against his chest and you seemed seconds away from passing out. “Please! She needs help!” The last thing you saw before everything went dark was the concerned face of your fiancé.

When you woke up, you were no longer in pain. Honestly, you weren’t quite sure if that was good or bad. The second you were coherent enough, you were looking for Tom. After everything that had happened tonight, all you needed was your pilot.

Unsurprisingly, you didn’t have to look far. Ice was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair beside your hospital bed. The sight of him sitting with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands instantly formed a pit in your stomach. Of course, Ice was a serious person. But after a night like this, he wouldn’t be sitting like that if it wasn’t bad news. Almost instinctively, your hand reached down to hold your stomach. The joy you once felt from touching the area that held your baby never came.

“I’m so sorry,” Tom’s head snapped up so fast that you were surprised he didn’t get whiplash. The man was by your side in an instant. There was a look in his eyes, one that you had never seen before. It only added fuel to the fire. “It’s all my fault.”

That had him shaking his head adamantly. This was a terrible turn of events but he would never, ever, blame it on you. Unshed tears lined his eyes, clinging to his dark lashes. “No, baby,” Delicately, Ice reached up to cup your cheek. His tears began to fall. Not very long after, yours followed suit. “It’s not your fault. You couldn't have done anything to stop it.” While his words were supposed to be comforting, they had just confirmed your worst fear. Your baby was gone.

“Listen to me,” He tried again to comfort you, both hands cupping your cheeks and using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. “There was nothing we could have done.” Whispered words of assurance did little to calm your racing mind. How did he know that? How did he know for certain that there was nothing that you could have done better to keep your baby safe?

The sad smile on his face was the straw that broke the camel's back. You burst into tears once more. That was how the two of you remained for as long as you could remember. Your head in the crook of his neck, his hand on the back of your head and arms wrapped tight around you as the two of you snuggled on the scratchy hospital sheets. You were sure that your combined cries were loud enough to be heard on the other side of the hospital. Even so, you couldn’t find it in you to care. And as a nurse passed by the closed door, her heart broke for the couple inside. The couple that had just lost their baby girl.

a/n: hope you enjoyed! Join the taglist!

Tagging: @ohtobeleah @xoxabs88xox @els-marvelvsp @kmc1989 @nyx2021

214 notes · View notes

blazingstar29 · 8 months

Text

When Tom dies, Pete moves into the spare bedroom. He sleeps in the single bed and showers in the guest bathroom whilst dust coats the photo frames and the scents of their intertwined love slowly evaporate. Phone chargers are still plugged into the wall and three-quarter full shampoos sit in the shower.

Months go by until Slider visits and forces him to go into the room.

"Are you going to lock him away in a dark room for the rest of your life?"

"Maybe."

But Slider opens the door and the curtains are still drawn and spiders have nested in the window panes. He holds Pete's hand whilst they strip the bed and holds him together when he cries over Tom's rusted razor by the bathroom sink.

The only thing they don't wash are the pillows. Pete sprays a dusty bottle of cologne into the air and breathes for the first time in months.

#whumptober day 16 got me feeling angst (this is not for whumptober but will probbaly be part of the you might be dying series )#top gun 1986 #icemav #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #iceman x maverick #ron slider kerner #top gun maverick

471 notes · View notes

thethistlegirl · 7 months

Text

Ok I'm sorry, two days of angsty Top Gun edits IN A ROW...but this just fit a little too well.

@nade2308 @whumptober

#whumptober 2023 #no.10 #you said you'd never leave #top gun #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky

226 notes · View notes

sarahsmi13s · 7 months

Text

Don't Take The Girl

whumptober day 29: bargainning

pairing: tom 'iceman' kazansky x wife!reader

characters: tom kazansky, y/n kazansky, tommy kazansky, ron kerner, carole and bradley bradshaw

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, pregnancy, childbirth, blood, bargainning with God, praying, traumatic birth, crying, medical inaccuracies, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~2.3k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

this is inspired by the song Don't Take the Girl by Tim McGraw

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: tom was so excited to welcome his daughter into the world... but he had no idea that he might have to say goodbye on the same day

Beep beep beep

Ice chuckled as the student flying behind him tried to get a missile lock on him.

Silver, the student on his tail, was rushing the hop because he was trying to beat Cobalt and prove to everyone that his call sign was not indicative of how he performs.

It reminded him of how Maverick flew when they were students in Top Gun. “Come on Silver, don’t be reckless. That’s not how you win,” Ice said, his voice cool and even as he rolled out of the way.

“You wanna win, you do it right. It’s how I-”

“Range control to Iceman.”

“Iceman to range control, everything alright?”

“Yo,” Slider’s voice broke through then. “Ice, hospital just called. Y/N’s gone into labor.”

Tom nearly stopped at his friend’s words, slowing down as he processed it. “What?”

“Yeah, your baby girl is coming now, we gotta go. Tommy’s at a friend's house. We gotta go pick him up,” Ron said quickly, trying to convey his urgency.

Ice could only nod before ringing filled his cabin. Missile lock.

“Alright, I’m down. Lesson over. I’ll lead the way back to base,” Ice said, not caring that he lost because he was distracted. You were in labor, and he needed to be there.

After landing and rushing out of his plane, Tom didn’t even bother changing out of his flight suit before leaving to go get your son from his friend’s house and going to the base hospital with Ron at his side.

“Why are we going to the hospital, Daddy?” Tommy, your six year old son, asked from his carseat.

Tom looked over his shoulder at him before looking back at the road, “You know how we’ve been waiting on your baby sister to get here?” Tommy nodded. “Well, she’s on her way and we’re meeting Mama at the hospital to get her.”

Tommy smiled and he bounced a little in his seat, “I’m gonna be a big brother!” Ron chuckled, “Yeah little man, you’re gonna be a big brother. The best big brother I bet.” He nodded, “I’m gonna try!”

Ice smiled as he finally pulled into the hospital parking lot.

Your son was so excited that he unbuckled himself and nearly bolted out of the car. “Thomas Jordan, do not just run off like that. I get that you’re excited, trust me I am too. But Aunt Carole and I can’t chase you around, okay?” Tom said, being firm but not mean.

Tommy stopped and ran back to him, grabbing his hand, “Yes sir.” Ice gave him a soft smile before picking him up, “Alright let’s go.”

They walked in and went straight to labor and delivery, knowing the way after the last few moments of Braxton Hicks contractions.

He spotted Carole in the waiting room first, Bradley was next to her playing on his Gameboy next to her. “Carole!” Her head jerked up to see him, “Tom, thank goodness you’re here. Y/N would have my head if you missed this.”

Tom nodded and chuckled, “Oh I know, but it’s mine she’ll want. Will you watch Slider and Tommy for me? I’ll come get you when we can have visitors.” Carole smiled as he sat Tommy down and she gave him a snack, “Yes, now go or you’re gonna miss it.”

“Hey wait, why do I need a babysitter?” Ron asked as Ice went over to the desk. “Ronnie, don’t make me answer that. You want some snacks?” Carole asked, pulling out another zip-lock bag. “Oooh yes!”

Tom rolled his eyes fondly as he walked up the nurse’s station.

“I’m Captain Thomas Kazansky, my wife is here. She would have come in a little bit ago?” The nurse looked at her sheet, “Y/N?” “Yes, yes that’s her.” She smiled at him, “Room 304, I can lead you to it.” He patted the counter top, “Thank you.” He followed the nurse down the hall and to the room.

When they got there the nurse knocked before stepping in, “The father is here.”

“Tom?” He heard your tired voice come from the bed before another contraction ripped through you and you had to push again. He smiled, “Yeah yeah I’m here, Sweet-”

“I’m sorry Captain, you have to leave. You can’t be here,” the doctor said out of nowhere.

“What?” You and Tom said at the same time as you both looked at the doctor.

You whimpered a little, “W-Why?” The doctor shook his head, “Just get him out of here, we’ll come get him.”

The nurse only nodded and tried to guide Tom back out.

“No, no, please, I need him in here. Please why-” You got cut off by the next contraction and the nurse managed to get him out.

Tom looked at the nurse, “What is going on? Why can’t I be in there with her?” The nurse sighed a little and just shook her head, “I’m not sure, but we have to listen to the doctor. Let's go to the waiting room, he’ll be out to get you when it’s time.”

All he can do is nod as tears hit his eyes. Something wasn’t right, he had a gut feeling. But he just had to follow orders.

It felt like a damn near eternity as Tom paced the floor.

He had slid his aviators back on to hide the redness caused by his tears. He didn’t need Tommy seeing his normally calm father freaking out and crying. He didn’t want to worry him either, because he could be wrong. Everything could be just fine and it’s just his adrenaline from being in the air transferring to this moment.

“Captain Kazansky?”

Tom’s head whipped over and he looked at the doctor. “Yes?” He nodded down the hall, “May I speak with you? Privately?” Ice didn’t hesitate and followed him down back to the room they had you in.

“Are-are they okay? Why couldn’t I be in there?” Tom asked the doctor immediately as he took his sunglasses off.

“Your baby is fine, Captain. It was scary for a moment, but your baby girl is healthy,” he said, his hands in his coat pockets.

If that was supposed to dampen Ice’s anxiety, it didn’t. It actually made it worse.

Tom huffed a little and gestured to the door, “My wife, how’s my wife? Why couldn’t I go in there?”

The doctor sighed, “Captain, your wife… she lost a lot of blood. It was touch and go after the birth. We managed to get the bleeding stopped but we can’t be certain she’ll pull through.” Tom was silent as his heartbeat pounded in his ears. “I think it’s best if you go home, Captain…”

“Go home? Go home?! How can I go home with my son while his mother lies in a hospital bed fighting for her life? What am I supposed to tell him? What do you say to a six year old that gained and lost someone on the same day?!”

The doctor took a deep breath, remaining calm as the normally collected blond shouted at him, “I understand that you’re angry and that you’re upset. But the only thing we can do now is wait.”

“Then let me wait with her. I won’t let her be alone. She shouldn’t be alone. Please… please let me be with her.”

He thought about it, looking between the pilot and the room where you lay unconscious on the bed. He nodded, “Alright, you can stay.” “Thank you doc.”

The doctor moved out of the way and opened the door. “Do you want them back here now or?” Tom shook his head, “No, not yet… I just.. I need a minute.”

Tom walked in and the doctor shut the door to give him some privacy.

He looked at you on the bed, swallowing as his throat dried up. He knew what he walked in on wasn’t going to be pretty but the fact that it was you hooked up to wires and machines, it was heartbreaking.

He’d seen colleagues and friends in this position, but to see you, his wife and mother of his children, in this position… it was earth shattering.

“Oh Sweetheart…” Tom whispered hoarsely as he walked over and held your hand.

Your hand was clammy, nothing like the soft warmth he was used to and it’s what finally sent him to the floor.

Tom hit his knees, his forehead resting on your hand as he prayed.

“God… please, I can’t.. I can’t lose her. Please just... take the breath you gave me. Take the heart from my chest. Put me in her place. That’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s how it’s always supposed to happen. Me first. I’m the one with the dangerous job. Don’t take her, please… don’t take her from me…”

He sobbed, letting out all of his emotions right there. His tears were wetting your hand and soaking into the blanket.

Tom was terrified, he usually was good in stressful situations. But right now? This was a whole new kind of stress.

He was sitting here begging to trade his life for yours. To die so you could live. And he meant every word.

Tom had never said anything without meaning it. Even in arguments he tried his damnedest to be honest and strategic with his words. He thought carefully about his words because he knew the impact of them.

So his prayer was genuine. He would gladly die so you could live, so his kids could have a mother. He would trade places in a heartbeat.

Because you deserved to live.

Tom gave himself enough time to calm down before leaving to go get Tommy. He wanted your son to get a chance to see you in case anything happened. Was letting him see you like this the best idea? Probably not. But he would regret it if he never let Tommy talk to you.

So, after he collected himself he let a nurse know that it was okay to bring them to the room.

Carole walked in first, Ron and Tommy behind her and Bradley behind them.

“H-How is she?” Carole asked, a little fear in her voice. “She’s um… She’s resting.” “What about the little one?” Ron asked as he put Tommy down. Ice wiped his mouth, “They’re doing check ups and everything, making sure she’s alright.”

“Daddy?” Tommy whispered as he hugged his father’s leg. “Is Mama okay?”

Ice sniffled a little, “She’s just resting right now Tommy. I’m sure she can hear you though, do you want to say something to her?” Tommy nodded, “Yes please.”

Tommy walked over and held your hand, “Hi Mama. Daddy said you were sleeping but that you could hear me. I wanted to tell you I love you. I hope you’re having good dreams.”

Ice smiled at his son as he came back over and clung to his leg again. “Are we going home?” Tom sighed and squatted down, “I’m gonna stay with Mama and baby Whitney, you’re gonna stay with Uncle Sli for a little bit okay?” Tommy nodded before hugging his dad, “Okay Daddy, I love you. Can we come in tomorrow?”

He nodded, “Maybe, we’ll have to see okay? I love you too.” He kissed his forehead and Ron gave him a quick hug before they left.

Carole sniffled as she looked at you and walked over to hold your hand.

“Is she gonna pull through?”

Tom sighed and walked over, “They don’t know…” Carole nodded, “I think she will. She’s a fighter. Always has been. And she wouldn’t leave you and those babies behind, not if she has a choice.”

She wiped her eyes a little before leaning over to kiss your forehead, “We’ll come by tomorrow okay?”

Carole turned back to Tom, “Any updates, this is where we’re staying. Don’t hesitate to call.” He took the piece of paper, “Thank you Carole.” “Of course,” she said with a gentle smile before hugging him. “Bradley, c’mon, let’s get out of Tom’s hair.”

Bradley nodded and gave Tom a quick hug, “Bye Uncle Ice.” “Bye kiddo.”

They left and Tom turned back to you. “It’s just us sweetheart.”

He walks over and sits down, threading his fingers through yours. “I don’t really know if you can hear me right now… but I’m gonna talk to you like you can…”

Tom sat there for hours talking to you. Whatever it was, whether it be what happened at work to reminiscing about the past, he talked about it.

He just kept talking. He knew that if he stopped he wouldn’t stop thinking about what might happen. He had to keep his mind busy.

At some point, they brought Whitney in. Everything was okay and she was in good health so she could be in the room.

Tom smiled and walked around with her as he talked to her, rambling on about her older brother, her aunts and uncles. He talked about you and how much you loved her even though you couldn’t tell her right now.

He eventually put her back in the bassinet before sitting by your bed again and holding your hand.

“I’ve been listening to that damn heart monitor for hours, Sweetheart. If I wake up and I don’t hear it…” His own words choked him up. He cleared his throat. “I know, I know… don’t think about it ‘if’s. But Sweetheart, I need you to wake up… please I can’t do this without you.”

Sniffling, he clasped his hands together one last time, your hand gently trapped in the middle. “Please… don’t take her from me… please.”

He wiped his eyes before laying his head on your thigh gently, letting the rhythmic beat of your monitor lure him to sleep.

Beep… Beep… Beep…

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mamachasesmayhem @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @hangmansgbaby @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233 @malindacath @nyx2021 @chaosofmanyfandoms

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

#vinny's whumptober #vinny's rainy day records #whumptober #whumptober2023 #ailesswhumptober2023 #whumptober day 29 #top gun 1986 #top gun #tom iceman kazansky x reader #tom iceman kazansky #tom kazansky x reader #tom kazansky #whump #angst #top gun angst #sarahsmi13s #tw: blood #tw: childbirth

147 notes · View notes

improvisedkatastrophe · 2 months

Text

Sneak peeks of the rest of Whumptober and Sicktember if anyone’s interested…

Whumptober:

#28–bloody knife, “You’ll have to go through me.”

Couple of idiots decide to try and mug Iceman on his way home one evening. He gives as good as he can but when he realizes they have knives he decides to bow out. No one told Maverick that plan.

#29–scented candle

There’s a reason Jake despises lemons and yellow things. Not one he remembers outright most of the time, but something ingrained deep within him. Unfortunately he remembers all too well when he comes home to his and Brad’s place one evening.

#30– borrowed clothing

Little snippets throughout time where Mav ends up wearing somebody else’s clothes. Usually because of some misfortune happening.

#31– “Take it easy”

Volleyball game ends up a little topsy turvy when Ice overheats. The flyboys step up to take care of the usually cool pilot and get a better understanding of one another.

Sicktember:

#27– Uncooperative patient

Ice isn’t very good at taking it easy and his latest bout of illness is proving that. Maverick can’t figure out what to do, until Baby B gets sick too. Then the answer is clear.

#28–“I should have stayed home.”

Slicemav— Ron has been fighting a migraine off and on for a day or so as he made his way back from deployment. He thinks it’s all over but then when he gets up on his first day home, a day Bradley has begged him to go to an event on, he thinks he’ll be just fine. He’s wrong.

#29— Adverse Reactions

A dagger day at the beach ends up with some of them encountering Jellies. One of the Daggers has a surprising response to the encounter and gets some much needed TLC

#30—Alt. Forehead kisses

Carole teaches Ice that forehead kisses are a great way to check for a fever, and then the many many times he uses this new skill on his husband, their son, and more.

#pete maverick mitchell #top gun #icemav #tom iceman kazansky #top gun fanfiction #maverick #hangster #top gun 1986 #whumptober #Sicktember

83 notes · View notes

ohtobeleah · 7 months

Text

Self-flagellation // Tom Kazanksy

Summary: The death of Goose Bradshaw rocks the TopGun class. Iceman struggles with the ideology that his death could have been prevented if he wasn’t sure sure of himself.

Warnings: Suicide attempt. Suicidal tendencies. Depression. Mentions of pregnancy.

Word Count: 3.2k

Author Note: Day Five of Whumptober. Prompt I chose: Self-harm. Thank you to @ailesswhumptober for the prompt list.

Whumptober Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The warm soapy water soothed Tom’s aching muscles as he let himself slide down the side of the bath till the only thing remaining above the water was his head. Notes of jasmine from your scented epsom salts he swore he never indulged in filled the bathroom as the drip from the leaky faucet filled the void, the silent but all consuming void of nothingness that had followed Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazanksy around ever since he saw Nick ‘Goose’ Bradshaw break his neck during a freak accident.

It could have been avoided, the death of Goose Bradshaw. If Tom hadn't been so arrogant, if he hadn't started the chain reaction of events that led to Goose's death by cutting Maverick off—perhaps it all could have been avoided. He was so arrogant and sure of himself that he could get that shot, it was just a training exercise, no one should have died.

The more he thought about it as he sunk deeper and deeper into the water, he knew he should have moved. He knew that it was his fault, his actions, and every choice that led to the death of Goose Bradshaw.

And that was something he couldn’t live with.

“Tom!” Your voice cut through the water like a breath of fresh air as you pulled your fiancé up from under the water he’d sunk under. “Jesus Christ what the hell are you doing?” It was the shock of walking into the bathroom and seeing your fiancé completely submerged and not making any attempt to move or get up that was talking. “Tom?” You asked as you assessed his face with both your hands cupping his cheeks. “What are you doing? What’s gotten into you?” You were in search of an answer that perhaps would have been written in the lines on his face—but when Tom reached up to take your hand in his and kissed your knuckles a few times. You knew something was wrong, very wrong. It was the look of dismissal in his eyes.

The very look you saw from your mother right before she was admitted into the loony bin.

“I’m fine—“ Tom tried to reassure you as you tried to keep your composure. “Totally fine dear, just thought it was real quiet under the water.” Tom wanted to tell you about the voices in his head that he’d been trying to silence. Or about the way the burn his lungs felt as he begun to run out of oxygen made him feel closer to Goose. He wanted to be under that water—if you hadn’t pulled him up he would have truly stayed there. It seemed like a peaceful way to go.

He wanted to tell you that it was all his fault, he killed Nick Bradshaw and he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He couldn’t live with the guilt, he saw that little kid on his mothers hip at the funeral three days prior and ever since he made eye contact with little Bradley Bradshaw—Tom wanted nothing more than to trade places with the RIO he killed with negligent flying.

But he didn’t tell you any of that. Tom Kazanksy wouldn’t let his walls come down for no one. Not even you—he didn’t want to be seen as weak minded. His father had instilled a great fear of being seen as less than man enough if he were to ever shed a single tear. So the idea of crumbling to his knees, holding you tight and telling you he wanted nothing more than to trade places with a dead man was far beyond the realm of comprehension.

“I’m fine honey, I was just in my own world for a second there.” You were completely disinclined to believe what your fiancé was saying. The signs were all there. The warning signals had been popping up for weeks. But all you did to keep the peace was nod in simple silence as you sat on the edge of the bathtub. “I love you, I’m sorry for spookin you.”

“You’d tell me—“ You cooed as you pushed Tom's hair from his forehead. “You’d tell me if you weren’t alright wouldn’t you baby?” The question packed a punch Tom wasn’t exactly ready for. He couldn’t tell you, you’d think he was certifiably insane for having such thoughts. He didn’t want you to worry about him, he was fine, he was totally and completely fine.

So he lied right through those perfect teeth of his. He held your hand back up to his lips and pressed gentle kisses across your knuckles. His eyes told you a completely different story to the rhetoric he was spinning. Tom was going under, he was drowning in his own sorrow and guilt for a man he’d let down, that he’d killed. But he wouldn’t tell you that, he couldn’t bring himself to explain to the love of his life.

So he lied. He lied and lied and lied, hoping that one day soon he’d believe himself.

“Absolutely.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

He didn’t mean for it to happen, Tom Kazanksy never meant for his actions to result in his colleague and friends' untimely death. He didn’t mean to rip a family apart at the very seam.

But he had. And he couldn’t cope with the guilt.

“I’m worried about him, Carole.” You sighed as you walked with the newly widowed woman to her husband's grave. “He blames himself, much like Mav.”

“It’s nobody's fault—“ Carole cooed as she held a bunch of roses in her hand and her sons in the other. Bradkey didn’t understand where his daddy had gone and it broke your heart. “It was just a freak accident—I know my husband wouldn't have put the blame on anyone, and I don’t either.”

Carole Bradshaw was a beacon of hope to all the aviators who had lost a dear friend. She was the very reminder they needed to keep going, to keep her husband’s legacy alive by doing what he loved the most.

“I think you should get him to talk to someone if you’re really concerned, even if he doesn’t think anything’s wrong—it always helps to talk it out.” Carole mentioned as she walked with you side by side. “I talk to a therapist about this new chapter twice a week.” She admitted tentatively. “Sometimes it feels all too much, then I remember I have Bradley.” She smiled softly, looking down at her husband’s surviving son. “He deserves to have a mother who’s as put together as can be.” That’s when Carole looked at you genuinely and wholeheartedly saw into your very soul as you held back tears. “Tom needs to be as put together as he can be, for the little one.”

“I haven’t even told him yet.” You could feel your bottom lip wobbling as you spoke. “I don’t want to overwhelm him.” You were only a few weeks along and hadn’t worked up the courage to tell your fiancé yet. He wasn’t himself, between his need to be alone and his lack of attention to your relationship, you felt as if the news of a child would completely dismal Tom's very delicate mental state. “I’m not sure if he’s ready—“

“Maybe if he knew he’d helped create life then the idea he took it away wouldn’t be as overwhelming.” Carole always knew just what to say even when she was barely keeping herself together. After all, it was her husband's grace you were going to visit—not Toms. “Not that he had any involvement, because it was an accident.”

“How many times have you told yourself that?”

You had to ask. “You know, before you started to believe it?”

Carole let out a deep sigh that sounded like it came from her very soul. She squeezed her son's hand three consecutive times and did her best to keep her composure.

“I tell myself that every day.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Honey?” Days turned into weeks before you had even noticed that the weeks had long since turned into months. Tom was for the most part a shell of his former self. He wasn’t home when all the lights seemed to be on. “Tom baby, are you home?”

You’d gotten a call from Viper halfway through your shift, he was concerned to say the very least about Tom and the fact he hadn’t shown up for work this morning really had him worried. He’d asked the pilot if he was doing okay a few times since the accident—but every time he pressed, Tom did what he did best and shut the very people who cared about him the most, out.

“Tom? Honey it’s me baby—Viper called?” You cooed as you placed your keys in the little dish by the front door. The house was eerily quiet for the mid afternoon. Usually the offshore breeze would be blowing through the open windows, but when the air felt still, stale even. Like nothing had moved since you had left this morning. Like nobody had been home all day—yet your fiancés trunk was in the drive. A dead give away. “Honey?”

It was all very ominous, the stillness of your humble apartment, the ground floor of a four story building on the outskirts of Fightertown. The usually warm and cozy living room felt as cold as ice when you walked on by. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. Nothing seemed different or misplaced—but the quiet hum, the bubbling anxiety inside your chest told you something was wrong. Something was off and something terrible was about to happen, or had happened.

You remembered what your mother looked like the night your dad had taken her to the emergency room. Her night gown was soaked in crimson blood that would never wash out. You tried.

“Tom? Honey, are you in there?” The bathroom door wasn’t locked, but it was closed shut. Your hand tightened around the doorknob as you let your forehead rest against the painted frame. “Please just answer me? I won’t come in if you don’t want me to.” You sighed to yourself as you closed your eyes and tried to will away the thoughts of your mother.

You always thought it would be you, mental health instability ran in your family like nothing you had ever seen. But here you were, your fiancé had been suffering and he refused to let you in. He refused to be a burden on you and now? Now you were afraid to open the door, you were terrified beyond belief at what you might see.

“Tom—“ Your feet felt frozen as you turned the door handle, the bathroom door slowly but surely creaked open. Time stood still as your eyes landed on the broad shouldered aviator lying in bloodied bath water that looked as thick as gelatin. “Oh god! TOM!”

The shrill that left your body as you rushed over was a sound so painstakingly familiar that for a moment you swore you had heard your father scream behind you. History had a funny way of repeating itself.

“Tom, honey—open your eyes baby look at me!” You tried to stay as calm as you could. “I’ve gotta call an ambulance.” That was the priority, call for help, stop the bleeding, save your fiancé’s life. You kept repeating it over and over like a mantra that would forever be embedded into your soul. Call for help, stop the bleeding, save Tom's life.”

The home phone was down the hall and boy did it kill you every second you were gone, but when you came back to the bathroom, you brought bandages and gauze from the first aid kit you kept in the kitchen with you.

“I’m here baby, I’m here.” Tom was unconscious but he still had a very weak, very faint, hardly there at all paulse. “Please don’t leave us, we’re right here, please please please don’t do this to us.” Twelve weeks, that’s how far along you were. For twelve weeks you had kept your pregnancy a secret from everyone except Carole Bradshaw. For twelve weeks your fiancé had been so distant and so closed off, disconnected even he hadn’t noticed the bouts of sickness, the fatigue, the way your stomach seemed a little more distended then it usually did. You weren’t showing all that much—but you thought the man you loved unconditionally, with your entire heart, with everything you had and more, would have noticed.

But he didn’t.

“Come on baby.” You tried to move him from the bathtub but the dead weight of Tom Kazanksys unconscious body was far too heavy for you to handle. “Stay with us, please.” Blood threatened to stain all aspects of the bathroom. The tiles, your clothes, even Tom's skin. But you did what you could with what you had to stop the bleeding coming from his wrists. Slashed deep. You had to hold back the nausea you felt as you wrapped both your fiancé’s wrists tight to stop them from bleeding any more, but judging by the amount of blood in the water and on the side of the bath—Tom had already lost a lot.

This wasn’t a cry for help, this was so much more. This wasn’t just to feel something, this was to feel nothing at all.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t more observant.” You cried as you kept Tom above the water, his head lulled to the side in your hands as you waited for the medics to arrive. “Honey, oh baby we love you so much, please don’t do this to us, please don’t leave.” You had to keep your fingers pressed against his neck, pressed against Tom’s pulse point to remind yourself he was still with you. “If you leave us so help me Christ Tom I’ll never forgive you—don’t you do this to me baby.”

***~***~***~***~**

“No.” The last person Tom Kazanksy wanted to see was you, but here you were—sleeping in the small hospital chair beside his bed with your hand delicately intertwined with his. “No god no—“ He wasn’t supposed to be here with you. He was supposed to be dead, he wasn’t supposed to be alive where the burden was all too much and the guilt was all consuming. He couldn’t be here. “I’m alive?”

He couldn’t remember what happened after he’d sliced his wrists, but for what he could put together he assumed you would have been the one who found him. He left a letter on your pillow, he wondered if you’d found it.

“A clinician is going to come in and speak with you soon.” Tom looked over at you as you spoke, your eyes were barely open, but when he finally met your gaze he saw the hurt he’d caused in them. “Tom—“

“You should have let me die.” Was all he said back to you. The words he spoke hurt more than he would ever know. “It’s my fault he died.”

“Maverick said—“

“Forget what fucking Maverick said Y/n!” Tom snapped as you readjusted yourself in the chair you sat perched on. “I killed him! Goose died because I was flying recklessly and now I can’t live with the fucking guilt—you should have let me die!”

“There are people who can help Tom.” You were a little more stirn than you would have liked to have been, but your fiancé had just tried to kill himself over his own deep rooted resentment for himself. “God why on earth do you think that killing yourself is the only option here?”

“Because I don’t wanna go on living knowing I ruined someone else’s life!” He cried, Tom Kazanksy barely ever cried, in front of people anyway. But here he was, crying in front of you after he’d failed at taking his own life. You’d stopped him. “And if you hadn’t come home I’d be fucking dead! I wouldn’t have to live with myself and I wouldn’t have to look at you and wish you’d stop interfering!”

It hit you in that very moment that when you’d found Tom in the bath he had in fact not been alright, he was trying to drown himself. Only you’d pulled him to the surface.

“I don’t want you around anymore.” You looked at your fiancé with pleading eyes. “I don’t love you enough to stay, I don’t love you enough to keep fighting the fight I know I’ll fucking lose because I’m not strong enough.” It hurt more than anything else in this world. “You don’t need me, you don’t deserve to have to babysit me wondering when I’ll try again, because I will. I’ll try again until I’m dead and gone and don’t have to live with the guilt.”

“Tom—“ Tom Kazanksy was the love of your life. He was once the funny and charismatic man who swept you off your feet. But now as you sat by his hospital bed after saving his life, all he could say to you was why did you even bother. “I can’t leave you after this, you need someone—“

“If you stay I’ll just end up hating you—“ That was the nail in the coffin of your broken relationship. “I’ll hate you for saving me and I’ll hate you forever, so please, just leave, go.” Maverick stood by the door, he’d come to see if you needed anything. He had heard every word Ice spoke and his heart was broken for you. You didn’t see any of this.

This was so much worse than he ever thought it was. Maverick watched as you got up out of your chair, crying hysterically as you held a protective hand over your small but there baby bump. He knew. He knew you were pregnant, Carole had slipped up one night when she was in her own head about the entire situation.

“And don’t think I don’t know either.” Tom added as your tears fell down your face. He watched as you stopped in your tracks. “That baby is better off never knowing me.” He hissed as you kept your back turned, he wasn’t the same man you loved. This was the shell of a man you once knew, a broken man who had pushed everyone, including you away. “If you had bothered to tell me I would have asked you to abort it, saved you the trouble of my burden.” You turned back to face your fiancé as he spiraled further into his psychotic break. “It’s one of the reasons I did it, I don’t deserve to be a father after what I did.”

You took a deep breath as you wiggled your engagement ring off your ringer before you slowly moved back to the bedside. Tom watched you with teary eyes of his own. He couldn’t believe that he was giving up his entire world because he couldn’t handle the immense guilt, the shame, the fear he felt all for kissing one of his friends.

“You were right.” You dropped the ring into his lap, deciding that if Tom Kazanksy had given up on living that he didn’t deserve you. He didn’t deserve your support, your love, your energy or your child. This was different to what your mother went through, this wasn’t just depression, this was selfishness and cruel behaviour.

And hell—two could play at that game, become why on god's green earth should you continue to try and save someone who didn’t want to be saved?”

“You weren’t worth saving.” You whispered as you turned on your heels to head out of the room as the clinician walked in. Loving Tom Kazanksy had turned into a losing game. But you had just one final thing to say over your shoulder.

“Say hi to Goose when you see him, maybe you’ll believe him when he tells you it wasn’t ever your fault.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Whumptober Tags 🏷️ @xoxabs88xox @oldermenaremyreligion @slut-f0r-u @emma-is-cool @armydrcamers @topguncortez @topgun-imagines @kmc1989 @els-marvelvsp @blindedbythelightt

#ailesswhumptober2023 #leahs whumptober masterlist #tom kazansky #Tom kazansky top gun #Tom kazansky angst #tw: suicide attempt #tw: depressive episode #tw: suicidal tendencies

79 notes · View notes

topguncortez · 9 months

Text

WELCOME TO G’S WHUMPTOBER 2023 CHALLENGE:)

➢It’s that time of year again!!! This year I am taking part in @/ailesswhumptober and I can’t be more excited!

MY RULES:

One topic/day will be assigned to one character for that day (i.e Jake gets Day 1, Rooster Day 2, Floydsin Day 3). I will not be doing more than one character a day.

ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS. As these topics all fall under the WHUMP category, there will be heavy content written and shared. Fics will be tagged accordingly, but no minors are permitted to interact. If I find you are a minor interacting, you will be blocked immediately.

During this time I will not be posting any other fics/blurbs/one-shots or taking requests, primarily because I’ll be writing a lot and posting a lot and I don’t need that added stress.

HOW TO REQUEST:

As I said before, one character will be used a day. Therefore, whatever day and character come in first will be assigned.

Example: “Jake, Day 27 pls!”

-Jake will be used as the main character on Day 27.

Example: Rooster Day 18!

Iceman day 18!

-Rooster will be used as the main character on Day 18 because the request came in first.

You can request what prompt you would like

My normal requesting rules still stand: if you are a blank blog, a minor, a character I don’t write for, or exceed the two-three sentence limit, your request will not be fulfilled

I will update the calendar/character list on SUNDAYS, so you know what days are left.

ALL REQUESTS MUST BE DONE BY: FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 22nd (exceptions maybe made if days aren’t all filled)

THE WHUMPTOBER CALENDAR: (the days are in bold)

1 | PICK YOUR POISON

Drugging | Sick | Poisoned

2 | SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD

Overworked | Insomnia | Exhaustion

3 | LET YOUR SENSES GUIDE YOU

Sensory Deprivation | Overstimulation | Isolation

4 | THE SECRETS THAT YOU KEEP

Hiding an injury | betrayal | lying

5 | HELD AGAINST YOUR WILL

Hostage | Kidnapping | Held at Gunpoint

6 | OUT OF YOUR MIND

Conditioning | Mind Control | Forced to Hurt Someone Else

7 | NOT DEAD TILL YOU’RE WARM N DEAD

Flatline | Restrained | CPR

8 | A BRAIN ON FIRE

Panice Attacks | Dissociation | Seizure

9 | DEAD ON YOUR FEET

Scar Reveal | Interrogation | Presumed Dead

10 | A GIFT TO REMEMBER

Branding | Scarring | Collar

11 | FLOAT LIKE A FEATHER

Fainting | Paralyzed | Adrenaline

12 | LEFT A SCAR ON MY HEART

Self Harm | Sacrifice | Character Death

13 | A FORCE OF NATURE, AN ACT OF GOD

Earthquake | Flood | Crushed

14 | 9-1-1, WHAT’S YOUR EMERGENCY?

Bleeding through the bandage | Field Medicine | No Anesthesia

15 | WHO’S THE NEW KID?

Experimentation | Muzzle | Transformation

16 | ONE HALF OF A WHOLE PERSON

Amputation | Chronic Pain | Hospital

17 | INTO THE FIRE

Hypothermia | Heat Stroke | “You Look a Little Pale?”

18 | TAKING A SICK DAY

Fever | Vomiting | Warm Soup

19 | I’LL NEVER PUSH YOU AROUND

Taken for Granted | Left Behind | “Why Wasn’t I Enough?”

20 | THE BEAUTY FELL FOR THE BEAST

Dehumanization | Stockholm Syndrome | Master & Servant

21 | WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU

Blood loss | Shock | Near Death Experience

22 | PAIN MAKES YOU STRONGER

Whipping | punishment | stress position

23 | DON’T TRY TO BE THE HERO

Begging | “Take Me Instead” | Forced to Watch

24 | RUNNING UP THAT HILL TO MAKE A DEAL WITH GOD

Failed Escape | Hunted Down | Too Exhausted to Keep Running

25 | BAD DREAMS, BAD DREAMS, HERE TO STAY

Nightmares | Flashback | “Why Didn’t You Save Me?”

26 | THE LAZARUS EFFECT

Magical Exhaustion or Injury | Curse | Came Back Wrong

27 | NEVER LET GO

Forgotten | Locked Away | Immortal

28 | OUT OF BREATH AND OUT OF TIME

Whumpee hair pulling | Oxygen Deprivation | Sweating

29 | ONE TICKET TO HELL

“The Easy Way or The Hard Way? | Bargaining | Forced to Choose

30 | YOU’RE MINE, ALWAYS WILL BE MINE

Possession | Mind Games | Coma

31 | A light at the end of the tunnel

PTSD | Headaches | Crying

MY CHARACTER LIST:

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace Javy ‘Coyote’ Machado Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky Nick ‘Goose’ Bradshaw Henry ‘Wolfman’ Ruth Beau ‘Cyclone’ Simpson Rhett Abbott

MY PAIRING LIST:

Jake & Shy!Wifey Dragon & Rooster Coyote & Val Phoenix & Cerberus Bob & Bea Hangman & Athena

Fill out the Form to be Tagged:)

56 notes · View notes

a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all · 2 years

Text

Ice Cold

Whumptober 2022: 7. The Way You Shake and Shiver, 21. You’re Safe Now Fandom: Top Gun, Top Gun: Maverick, f!reader, Reader is Iceman's Daughter Word Count: 760 TW: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Freezing, Death Note: Thank you to @marvelousmermaid for looking this over for me 💖

You were so cold. Colder than you could ever remember being before in your life. You were shivering from the inside out and you were worried you’d chip a tooth if your teeth didn’t stop chattering so fiercely. But at least your body had gone so numb that the injuries from your crash didn’t hurt anymore.

The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on you. In a way, it was poetic that Iceman’s daughter, code name Snowflake, was slowly freezing to death. But after your plane went down, you were too injured to find cover from the cold or to build a fire. You barely had enough strength to drag yourself away from your plane in case a fuel line caused an explosion. At this point, you were hoping for one. Explosions meant fire, and fire meant heat.

Unless that happened, your only hope was a rescue team located you soon. Maverick had been your team leader for this mission and you knew he wouldn’t stop until he found you. Your godfather had never failed you before, so you just needed to hold out a little longer. Knowing him, he’d have rangled together every available airman to help with the search.

It was becoming more difficult to breathe as the cold air stabbed at your throat and burned your lungs with each breath. Your vision began to blur and all you could see was the blanket of white stretching in front of you against the inky darkness of the night.

But suddenly, something else came into your field of vision. Struggling to bring the world back into focus, you finally made out a pair of combat boots standing before you, and the person wearing them squatted down to your level. Giving you a sad smile, he said, “Hey, baby.”

“D-Dad…” you breathed in astonishment. “Wh-what are you d-doing here?”

“Where else would I be?” Iceman asked. “I had to come get my girl.”

You managed a small chuckle before your body was racked with another intense shivering fit that you felt down to your bones. Weakly, you chattered, “Dad…. I’m s-s-so c-cold.”

He rested his hand on your cheek. “I know, but don’t worry. I’ll get you someplace warm real soon. You’ve done good, kid. Now it’s time to take you home.”

Bending down, he scooped you up into his arms just like he used to when you were a little girl. And as you leaned your head against his chest, you already felt his warmth radiating throughout your body.

You hummed as you snuggled in closer to him, your shivering slowly fading away. “I feel better already.” For the first time, you looked up and really took in the man carrying you. What you saw made you smile. “You look good, Dad.”

He returned your smile and said, “So do you, baby. Now, close your eyes. It’s all going to be okay.”

You nodded softly, suddenly overwhelmingly tired. With the warmth from your father wrapping around you like a blanket and the steady beat of his heart serenading you, you closed your eyes and finally drifted off to sleep.

Maverick was the first one to spot you about a hundred feet from where your plane had crashed. The second he saw the drag marks in the snow, he had taken off running but because of the fresh layer of snow, he had almost tripped over your snow-covered body.

Dropping to his knees beside you, he desperately tried to wake you, to find a pulse. But, despite his efforts, it was painfully clear by your blue-tinted lips and ice-cold skin that you were gone. That he had been too late.

He collapsed back into the snow and buried his head in his hands even as the emergency team began examining you. However, he knew there was nothing they could do.

Tears began to well up in his eyes as he silently begged Ice for forgiveness. Since they had met at Top Gun decades ago, Ice had saved Maverick’s career more times than he could count. And the only thing in all that time that Ice had ever asked in return was that Mav keep his daughter safe. It had been the last thing Ice had said to him before he died over a year ago and, now, Mav had failed him. He had failed you.

And as he stared up into the night sky where the snow and stars seemed to merge into one, Maverick just hoped that wherever the two of you were now, you were together once more.

Taglist: @nik2blog, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @valoraxxx-blog, @m3laniehearts, @autumnleaves1991-blog, @rule107, @vintageleather, @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak, @slutforadambanks, @americaarse, @reneki, @ynbutbetter , @sugarcoated-lame, @imagineadream, @sadpetalsstuff, @salty-thembo, @rachelizabethgraham, @duckandrobin, @queenbbarnes, @grincheveryday, @uselesslyromantic, @choochoo284, @littlebadariell, @blue-aconite, @thescarletknight2014

190 notes · View notes

eliashirsch · 8 months

Text

remember when i said i cried while writing All The Sleepless Nights >> another icemav fic, featuring Ice returning to top gun as an instructor, and his journey of discovering that maybe maverick's not that bad

!SPOILERS!

if you want to read the original draft for when ice talks about sarah, here's the docs for it! (It is very rough though, as is a first draft. i was in a horrible place and wanted to exert some of that angst elsewhere. so even if it might be a little cringe or too overdramatic, a good cry writing this was exactly what i needed. if i wrote it on paper, it probably would be stained with tears :D)

during the second draft, i thought it was too over the top and a complete shift of tone from the rest of the story, so i changed it up, but still cried lmao

i think i did good for the final draft. i'm proud of it, and that's enough.

thanks to anyone who have read it! let me know what you think!

#you ever get to the point of editing where you start hating everything you wrote and all you see are flaws?#TIME TO MOVE ON TO ANOTHER PROJECT I THINK!!!#whumptober and nano #i think i'll write hangster this time lol #icemav #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #iceman x maverick #top gun #top gun 1986 #writing

20 notes · View notes

bearsinpotatosacks · 7 months

Text

Broken - Whumptober 2023

Tom finds Carole smoking on her porch. They get to talking, it doesn't go well.

For day 24 of @whumptober . Also on AO3

Words: 1579

Carole heard the backdoor close behind her as she took another drag. The night was bitter on her arms but she didn’t care to put a jacket on. Sunset was bleeding into the clouds below as the smoke from the cigarette rose up to join it. She didn’t like the taste of cigarettes, but she couldn’t deny that it calmed her down. Maybe it was something do with the deep breaths, or the fact that you had to physically step away from whatever situation you were in, or the nicotine, she wasn’t sure.

“I didn’t know you smoked?” Iceman said.

“I didn’t,” she replied when he leant against the pillar. “Until, well, you know.”

He didn’t speak. There was something about him that she couldn’t quite figure out about him, she didn’t know whether he was just aloof, or trying so hard to please everyone that she could feel him watching for her reaction, or the opposite and he didn’t care at all. She was still figuring him out and she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to get to know him that well because there would always be a block between them that they couldn’t deny.

“I want to ask you something,” she said.

He shifted his weight and his feet scratched the wooden porch. She could almost hear his brain thinking of everything she could say to him as he waited for her to speak.

“How is it being perfect? For you?” She took another drag and let the smoke puff out of her mouth as she spoke. “Like is it a conscious thing, to please people, or is it just something about you that can’t do anything wrong?”

He rubbed his arm, “How do you mean?”

“I just-” she sighed and placed her hand with the cigarette in on her forehead. “Everyone’s expecting me to do this right, to grieve right and not make a mistake, and I wanna know what it’s like for you, as Mister ice-cold-no-mistakes, for everyone to expect pure excellence when they look at you. If it’s not a conscious thing, then how do you deal with it? Because I don’t think I can handle it.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t say it was a fully conscious thing in the beginning, but-”

“You embraced it?”

“Yeah, I guess,”

“You just met their expectations everytime?”

“Yeah,”

She took a drag. “Fuck.”

“Why do you ask?”

That made her laugh. No one had noticed, of course they hadn’t. On one hand, she didn’t want them to know, but the other wanted people know. She wanted someone to approach her at work and let her cry, she wanted the mothers to smile instead of sneer, she wanted someone to give a shit outside the people who knew Goose. She deserved that at least, right?

“I have to grieve ‘properly’, I can’t make a mistake or I’m a bad mother, I can’t stop or I’m not helping him through his feelings even though no one’s helping me through mine. The house has to be tidy as anything, I can’t drop the ball or make a pick bad habits or make a mistake and throw myself at someone because I’m a widow, I should be grieving my husband. But I also have to be thinking of dating because I can’t get stuck and Bradley’s needs a father figure. Well he’s got one, he’s just not here right now.”

She inhaled the smoke to calm herself down. She didn’t know why she was venting to him. They weren’t exactly close.

“I can’t even want to kill myself without the world telling me how evil it makes me.”

Iceman shrank into pillar. His face paled. She got the feeling that he wasn’t good at stuff like this. Or maybe it was just her.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” she started.

“You want to what?”

“I-uh,” she really shouldn’t have said that. “It’s nothing to be worried about, I wouldn’t, Bradley can’t lose someone else too, but do I sometimes wish, if I could get guaranteed that he’d be fine, that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning, yes. And do I hold my breath in the bath, yeah. Do I wish that something happened when I drive home from work? Yeah, but I wouldn’t do it, so don’t worry. I’m only a little broken that’s all.”

He stood there for a second. Fuck, she really shouldn’t have said that. Her mouth ran away with her some times. Goose could usually tell her when to reign it in before she offended someone, he couldn’t now, for obvious reasons.

“I mean, it’s not that bad for me, I guess I planned to be-”

“Perfect?” She said. “Maybe I’m doing it wrong then. I mean, if I was perfect then I wouldn’t get dirty looks from the other moms when I drop Bradley off with red rimmed eyes or have the other people from church tell me I’m giving into the devil if I give up god after I have a lapse in belief. You’re perfect and pull off too quick and get my husband killed and get off scot free.”

He scoffed. “That’s what this is about, then, huh?”

“You can’t expect me to get along swimmingly with you.”

“You don’t exactly show it. I mean, I thought when people hated each other they shouted and made it known, but I guess not you.”

She tapped the ash off the end of the cigarette. Not meeting his eyes, she rested her eyes on the trees as they became shadows against the stars. Sometimes the sun set before you really had a chance to appreciate the view.

“This isn’t the Navy, Tom, I can’t go around telling people what I think because we both have people we care about and I have other things to worry about than you.”

He laughed. When she looked up at him, there wasn’t any joy in his eyes. It was cold, like what she’d seen before he and Pete had made friends.

“And that’s all, is it?”

She stood up quick enough it made her head go dizzy. Stamping the cigarette out, she saw the way the smoke hid him behind a mirage. He’d turned, like he’d switched something off, turned off that dazzling smile.

“Because now you’ve made it known how you really feel I’m thinking back and you really don’t like it when I’m here do you. So don’t just tell me it’s because you blame me for Goose’s death, because you’re talking like there’s some other reason that’s not a given for a grieving widow.”

"Fine," she said, throwing her arms out. "I don't like how you're taking Pete away from me."

He got in her face. His smile was fake, it was like a shark sneering at her, all sharp teeth dazzling you.

"There it is, you don't like how you're not in control."

She met him as he lent over her. Crossing her arms, she felt a guttural rage unlock within her. Not just at him, but at all of this, Goose dying, it being an accident, and people telling her how she was meant to grieve. She hated being a woman sometimes.

“No, it’s because I can only sleep properly when Mav or Bradley’s there, it’s because we have Goose in common and we can grieve together, it’s because he’s my friend.”

“Friend? You’re hiding the fact that you smoke from him? How much of a friend to him can you really be?”

She let out a fake high pitched laugh. He was really trying here. She could tell he’d got arguing down to a skill.

“You’re the one hiding a whole relationship.”

That fractured his mask. He stepped back as though she’d hit him. After gulping, he clenched his hands a few times before tensing his jaw as he lent over her.

“It’s fucking illegal, so don’t go throwing that shit in there, because if you actually care about Pete then you wouldn’t want him to be dishonorably dishcharged.”

How did he know how she cared about him? He’d known him five minutes and thought he could come in here and lecture her about what she should want. She was the one who’d had to nurse him out of his shell, her and Goose made sure he knew he was loved and that they weren’t going to leave him, that his dad’s reputation didn’t mean shit to them.

“I care about him having someone who would fight for him, someone who would do anything for him and to be with him because that’s what love is,”

“You can’t lecture me on love, your husband’s fucking dead.”

His eyes widened. They both knew that was too far. All the drama of the moment sunk into the ground as she realised where she stood. Right, for a second there she’d been allowed to forget, to make some of her own mistakes. Too bad that wasn’t the ‘right’ way to grieve. Silly her for not being a bubblering mess until it was convenient for people.

“Fuck you, Kazansky.” She whispered as her throat closed up and the world went blurry as tears welled up in her eyes.

Neither of them had noticed the figure in the doorway as she walked away. It wasn’t until she opened the door that she noticed Pete standing there like a kid who’s heard his parents fighting. She got the feeling that they’d both messed up there.

----

Neither are right in this fic, they're both hurting in different ways and weren't close enough beforehand to get through it together. I also like the headcanon that Ice and Carole weren't buddies after Goose died, not a happy one, but one that I feel is realistic because they never meet in canon (we don't know if they ever met) and I wouldn't doubt if Carole blamed Ice a little for Goose's death. Thanks for reading! @whumptober-archive

19 notes · View notes

aki-draws-things · 7 months

Text

Whumptober 2023~

Fandom: top gun

Characters: Ron slider Kerner, Nick Goose Bradshaw, tom iceman Kazansky

Prompts: captivity

Warning: Dark goose, captivity, locked in a room kinda left to die, omegaverse of some sort

Summary: Ron made a mistake when he allowed tom to kiss him, nick makes sure he know his place as an omega.

@oh-surprise-its-me

One of The omegaverse bits translated!!

Ron whined.

It was such a pathetic sound, so so damn pathetic. Worse than a pup. And he was not a pup. (Had he ever been one? Truly?)

The door opened slightly, letting in a pale ray of light, Ron curled up on himself against the opposite wall. Light made his eyes sting.

Oh. Oh, perhaps he was allergic to light all of sudden? If that was it then his Nicky had locked him there, in that room without windows, to keep him safe, because the light would hurt him and his Nicky loved him.

"Hey sweetheart."

Ron breathed deeply, he let Nick's smell fill his lungs and senses. His hands were cool on his warm, almost feverish skin. Ron looked up with lingering eyes. He let out a slow, soft moan from dry lips. Nick smiled at the sound.

His Nick was so good and sweet with him, so careful. He brought a water bottle to his lips, water dripping down his chin and ruined uniform, but it wasn't Nicky's fault, it was him forgetting how to drink.

Ron moaned again, tears stinging at the side of his eyes as he coughed the little water he managed to get down.

"Easy, easy sweetheart, we don't want you to choke on it, right?"

Ron shook his head. With a sweet caress with the hand that Ron felt so desperate to follow, Nick moved away. he took the bottle with him. Ron was still thirsty but he kept quiet. His Nicky surely knew what was best for him, as always.

Nick sighed.

"You'll have to stay here a little longer. Sweetie, it's for your own good, that alpha is dangerous, and we don't want you to be in danger, do we?"

Ron quickly shook his head. He wanted to tell him that Tommy wasn't as dangerous as Nick painted him, he had even been kind and accompanied him back home. Ron liked Tommy, but Nicky didn't, so Ron couldn't like him.

"You still stink of him."

Nick growled and Ron shrugged off of the white uniform with wide, fearful eyes. He had liked that uniform, so white and soft.

Tommy said that soon he would've pinned the wings on it too, and they would fly together.

"Nicky will never let me... but I'd like it..." he had said, sinking his nose on Tom's neck, Tom's hands were in his hair.

"He'll have to, he doesn't own you, sunshine."

Oh, but it wasn't true.Ron didn't say it, he moaned against his neck and Tom laughed before kissing him.

Nick stared at him, the uniform discarded on the floor, Ron's body naked before him. It would take one single step to take him. One step and that stupid, pathetic omega would remember who he belonged to.

But no, he wasn't in the right mood. Sure he liked his body just fine, and he liked the way ron moved under his hand. But with that smell on him... ugh, no. Just no.

He kicked the clothes in a corner and turned on his heels, opened the door, and left.

Ron didn't know how long ago that had been, time was weird. He knew he was thirsty. And he knew his stomach stopped growling in hunger and just hurt from cramps.

The door opened again and he squeezed his eyes shut, covering them with his hands.

Whoever, Nick?, it was he didn't close it, light filtered inside. His eyes hurt, they hurt so much and so did his head. But he couldn't speak, his mouth and throat too dry for that.

"What have they done to you? Sunshine, oh my beautiful---"

He knew that voice. He dreamed of that voice.

Ron moved his hands away and opened one eye.

Tommy.

Tommy was surrounded by light, like an angel. and he was so, so beautiful that Ron couldn't stop looking at him even though it hurt.

Tom walked closer, he noticed the discarded uniform, the blood staining it, and the naked body in front of him. He draped a blanket around his shoulders and lifted him into his arms.

"Alright... let's get you away."

Nicky would get angry he had been taken away, Ron thought briefly, dazed. But he was so tired, and Tom's arms were so strong and warm, holding him close.

Never before ron felt as safe as the moment he let his eyes fall shut and leaned his head against Tom's shoulders.

#whumptober 2023 #no.11 #captivity #top gun #fic #dark goose #omega Ron #alpha nick #alpha tom #omegaverse #ron slider kerner #nick goose bradshaw #tom iceman kazansky #top gun fic #aki writes

19 notes · View notes

topgun-imagines · 7 months

Text

Day 17: Heart Of Ice

Pairings: Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky x fem!reader

Synopsis: When a mission goes south, you are forced to realize your feelings for Iceman in circumstances you would never wish upon anyone.

Warnings: death, hypothermia, blood, wounds, plane crash & ejection.

Word count: 1.1k

This mission was supposed to be a simple one In and out. That was it. However, it had gone sideways only seconds in. You supposed the first issue had arisen when you and Ice were paired up for the mission. The two of you never really got along well. Between his perfectionist side and your competitive nature, the two of you were a disaster waiting to happen. You were only surprised that it took this long for disaster to strike.

Everything had been going fine. Right up until Ice opened up his big mouth. Before you knew it, both of your jets had been shot out of the sky and you were lying on your back in the cold snow. You began folding up your parachute, cussing under your breath all the while. The one bright side of this was that you were finally left in silence. You could no longer hear Ice’s annoying yapping in your ear. It was lovely.

So, regardless of the frigid temperature, you took your sweet ass time folding that parachute. You were in no rush to see Ice’s annoying face anytime soon. While you weren’t sure exactly what started the feud between the two of you, you found that it didn’t really matter anymore. All that mattered was the fact that you hated his guts. The problem stretched all the way back to the academy. It seemed that ever since you met Tom, he had something against you.

However, it seemed like a large amount of time had passed and you had still seen no trace of the blond pilot. With a huff, you climbed out of your comfy position in the snow and hauled your gear into your back. Then you began walking. You weren’t sure exactly where to, but you started walking North. Hopefully, you would catch sight of his chute sooner or later. Just because you couldn’t stand him, didn’t mean that you were going to leave him stranded out here.

After about fifteen minutes, you finally saw the bright colours of the parachute clashing against the pristine snow. You headed in that direction, expecting to find Ice waiting there for you. Your brow furrowed at the sight in front of you. Ice’s chute was draped across the snow, but the pilot himself was nowhere to be found. With a roll of your eyes, you called his name.

You never would have admitted it, but your heart dropped when you heard a small groan come from your left. Faster than you would have cared to admit, you darted over to where the noise came from. The gasp that escaped you shocked even yourself. The sight in front of you had you feeling sick to your stomach.

Ice was lying in the bright white snow, some of it stained a crimson red from the blood that trickled from the wound on his stomach. With shaking hands, one of your hands reached forward to touch his shoulder. “My god Ice…” You whispered, nearly horrified. He offered you a weak, albeit confused, smile. You had never cared about him before. What had changed now? “Are,” You paused, knowing that it was a pointless question when your eyes landed on the crimson colour staining his side. “Are you okay?” You were only given the weakest possible nod in response.

It was then that you realized why you felt the way you did. You didn’t hate Ice, all this time you had been using that as an excuse to hide the way you truly felt about him. Now, you couldn’t hide your feelings anymore as the tears began dripping down your face. You couldn’t lose him, not like this. Not without him knowing how you truly felt.

His choked coughs were what pulled you out of your daydream. “Thought you’d be happy,” With a raspy voice, Ice tried as hard as he possibly could to hide the pain in his voice. It didn’t work. All you could do was shake your head. Even though the two of you didn’t get along all the time, you never would have imagined that he would have thought you’d be happy to watch him die. Feelings or not, you wouldn’t have been happy about losing him in a million years. “What’s the matter?” And then he called your name. So softly you weren’t sure if it was real or not.

“You can’t leave,” Despite the tears running down your cheeks, your voice was firm. Almost as if you were coming out of a haze, you realized that Ice was still bleeding. As gently as you possibly could, you applied firm pressure to the wound. However, that didn’t stop his lips from turning even more blue than they were now. “Please, Ice,” You had never begged him for anything before. Right now, you were throwing away every shred of dignity you had along with your reputation. You just wanted him to be okay. “You can’t leave me.”

He could only smile. No matter how bad he wanted to stay, wanted to stay for you, he knew that just wasn’t in his cards. He glanced at your intertwined hands resting on his chest. At some point, you had laced your fingers together. Ice was confident that you weren’t even aware that you did. It was as if he could feel the hypothermia seeping into his bones. Almost unconsciously, he shivered. That only caused more tears to fall from your eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered one last time.

His hand went limp in yours. “No.” You repeated the word time and time again, not willing to accept what was happening. He couldn’t be gone. Not like this. He still had so much left to live for.

Your attempts at shaking him awake were futile. Ice was gone. And yet you still clutched onto his lifeless frame, head falling into his chest and praying that you would hear a heartbeat. You were sure that your cries were loud enough that they could be heard miles away.

Going into this mission, you never could have imagined that this was how things would turn out. Sure, you knew that your job had its risks, but never in a mission years would you have guessed that you would be cradling Tom Kazansky’s lidless frame in your arms in the middle of a frozen forest.

Irony was a fickle thing. When you first got paired together, all you wanted was for it to be over. To get out of it somehow so that you wouldn’t have to deal with him. Now, all you wanted was to be able to tell him that you loved him.

a/n: thank you all for reading!! Join the taglist :)

Tagging: @ohtobeleah @xoxabs88xox @els-marvelvsp @kmc1989 @nyx2021 @callsignharper @seitmai @kellyls04 @scarletmeii @inkandarsenic @malindacath

87 notes · View notes

caystar13star · 7 months

Text

Whumptober day 10

#whumptober 2023 #top gun #pete maverick mitchell #tom iceman kazansky #ron slider kerner #slicemav

13 notes · View notes

a-reader-and-a-writer · 2 years

Text

Ice Cold

“D-Dad…” you breathed in astonishment. “Wh-what are you d-doing here?”

“Where else would I be?” Iceman asked. “I had to come get my girl.”

You managed a small chuckle before your body was racked with another intense shivering fit that you felt down to your bones. Weakly, you chattered, “Dad…. I’m s-s-so c-cold.”

He rested his hand on your cheek. “I know, but don’t worry. I’ll get you someplace warm real soon. You’ve done good, kid. Now it’s time to take you home.”

He returned your smile and said, “So do you, baby. Now, close your eyes. It’s all going to be okay.”

He collapsed back into the snow and buried his head in his hands even as the emergency team began examining you. However, he knew there was nothing they could do.

And as he stared up into the night sky where the snow and stars seemed to merge into one, Maverick just hoped that wherever the two of you were now, you were together once more.

Taglist: @loverhymeswith, @babblydrabbly, @green-socks, @11thstreetvigilante, @merlehs, @sunshineflowerchild789, @wildbornsiren, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @the-untamed-soul, @inglourious-imagines, @airhogger, @piscesvancouverite, @straightforwardly, @bonnieelizabethparker, @srry-itshockeyszn, @flyinlove, @fandomhopped, @sweetheartlizzie07, @yjwnoot, @wanderdreamer, @callsign-fox, @imjess-themess

119 notes · View notes

sarahsmi13s · 7 months

Text

Don't Leave Your Wingman

whumptober day 13: grief

pairing: pete 'maverick' mitchell x kazansky!reader (father figure relationship)

characters: pete mitchell, kazansky!reader, sarah kazansky

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, mentions of cancer, canon death, death, fear of being alone, death of a parent, grief, 5 stages of grief, fear of losing family, loss of appetite, anger, mood swings, broken glass, throwing things, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~1.8k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

i am so so sorry i got this up late, please forgive me

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: you wouldn't leave your wingman in the sky... why should you on the ground?

“It’s come back.”

One sentence. Three words.

That’s all it took for the world to crash down around you.

Your father, your best friend, your wingman, was already dying.

But with three words he was dead and in the ground.

You started the grieving process the moment your mother told you about the results of your father’s tests. His cancer was back and this time he wasn’t fighting it. So, start grieving now so it doesn’t hurt when he passes.

It should cushion the pain right?

No.

It doesn’t.

Because when you watched Pete Mitchell slam his wings into your father’s coffin, it’s like he’s punching them right through your heart.

You thought you prepared yourself better. Thinking ahead to how everything would be different. Going through the motions of him missing so much of your life, everything he wouldn’t be a part of. You were only 21, you had so much left to accomplish and celebrate with him.

He would never walk you down the aisle at your wedding. He would never meet your kids and tell them cool stories about the famous Iceman and show them his collection of medals and patches. He would never tell them the story of how he met his best friend and wingman, the friendship’s birth captured in a photo on his desk.

He would never tell you he loved you again.

You wanted to hear it one last time… even if it was in that broken, raspy tone.

“How is she?”

You could hear your uncle talking to your mom outside in the living room.

It had been a few days since the funeral and you had barely left your father’s office in the living room. You barely ate, your appetite coming in and out as you went through the motions. You just sat in the office, wrapped up in his blanket with his dog tags around your neck or clenched in your hand. You were nearly numb at this point, sitting and staring at the photo of you and him at your graduation.

You had hit the “depression” part of your grieving process. Denial, anger, and bargaining had passed when you learned about the return of your father’s cancer. But you were sure they’d resurface at some point, grieving is never linear and it’s not a short lived thing.

But when it was something that you prepared for, something that you could see coming from miles and miles away? It should be easier right?

“She doesn’t leave that chair often… I don’t blame her. But I’m worried. You and Ron have been a big help with brightening her days,” you mom said, a gentle smile on her face at Mav.

It was true, they both had been a huge help. Just sitting with you so you weren’t alone, that you had someone in the room with you also grieving – even if it was different. Both had lost a best friend, your mom had lost a husband. She sat with you too, holding your hand and making sure you weren’t completely alone. She made sure that even though you were both grieving, that you could talk to her.

Mav looked into the room, seeing you in that position – curled up with your dad’s dog tags in your hand, lips pressed against them as you stared out the window.

He gave Sarah a hug before walking towards the office doors and knocking before opening it.

“Hey kid, how can I help today?”

You shrugged a little bit, not having the energy to do much else. You sniffled and dropped your hand to the desk, pointing to a book that was resting there, “I um… I found that while going through some of his things…”

Sniffling again, you adjusted your blanket, “I can’t bring myself to read it… it’s all in his hand writing…” Mav nodded and came over, “I can read it to you, if you want.” “Please…”

“Would you want to go out on the porch swing? Get some sun, fresh air?” You looked up at him and he could see just how tired you were. You probably got a lot more sleep than you should have, or very little sleep that wasn’t good.

You looked at the photo on your dad’s desk, seeing him smiling down at your 18 year old self in your cap and gown, diploma in your hand.

“Yeah… yeah, that sounds nice,” you said, your voice a little lighter and the ghost of a smile threatened your lips.

Mav smiled and helped you up, grabbing the book and leading you to the swing on the front porch.

You sat down with him, resting your head on his shoulder as he put the book in his lap.

As he began to read, you both began to notice that these were your dad’s stories. Stories you had heard from him, stories you begged him to tell you no matter how many times you had heard them… All there in a book.

You cried at first, so did Mav. But as he continued, reading your dad’s words and the side commentary he never failed to add, you both started to laugh.

It was nice to laugh, it helped you begin to feel like everything was going to be okay.

“Today will be better.”

That’s what you told yourself when you woke up the past few days.

You could never tell yourself that it would be great or amazing. Because you knew you couldn’t make that promise to yourself. But you could always try better, your best would always vary from day to day.

And you were doing okay. You were making it.

Until Maverick showed up in his whites.

Your heart had sunk like a brick in your stomach.

You knew what those meant.

He was going out with them on the carrier.

That’s not so bad right? He would be safe right?

But the look on his face as he stood in front of the office's french doors told you something else.

“I was picked as team leader to fly the mission.”

The brick in your stomach started dissolving, making your stomach acid fizz and bubble up your throat.

You shook your head, the dusting rag and photo clenched in your fist. “No, no you’re not.. You’re not flying this mission, Uncle Mav… You-you were just supposed to teach it.. You’re a teacher!”

He mirrored your movements, “Admiral Simpson-”

“No!”

Your shout had startled him, you hadn’t raised your voice in any capacity for a while so your outburst startled him.

“I’m sorry, kid… There’s a chance someone doesn’t make it back and I would rather it be me–”

“So you have a death wish? Is that it? Can’t go one damn day without risking your life like no one is gonna miss you if you burn in, can you?”

Maverick was unsure how to respond to that, standing there awkwardly as you yelled at him.

“You’re selfish, you know that? The both of you, fucking selfish,” you said, your voice cracking at the end as you poked his chest with the picture frame.

“B-both… Y/N what-”

“You’re never supposed to leave your wingman… ever. So tell me why I’ve been left behind! Why everyone is fucking leaving me?!”

In your anger you threw the photo on the floor, glass shattering and the frame breaking apart.

“He left me and now you’re leaving me too!”

Mav watched the tears streaming down your face as you shoved past him and ran out of the office and out of the house.

Sighing, he looked down and noticed the photo under the shards of glass was the photo of him and Ice shaking hands after saving one another on that mission after graduation.

“You can be my wingman anytime…”

After your blow up at Maverick, you ran straight to the beach.

The second your feet hit the damp sand on the shoreline you were collapsing to your knees.

Clutching your chest, you sobbed.

“Why?! Why couldn’t you have just fought? One more time… for me! I need you Dad! And you’re gone! You left me here! And-and now you want to take Mav with you? It’s not fair!”

You fell forward, clutching at the sand, “It’s not fair!” You sobbed, not caring if anyone around you could hear you. You were in pain, you were now not only grieving your father, but you were now going to be grieving his best friend, your friend.

A pair of gentle hands pulled you back up into a seated position on your knees.

“Sweetheart…”

“It’s not fair, Mom!” You shouted, your voice raw with tears as you looked out on the horizon before looking down at the frothing tide, “It’s not fair…”

Sarah felt tears sting her own eyes at the utter brokenness of your voice, the rawness in it.

She pulled you into her lap, shushing you gently as you sobbed into her neck. She looked up at the sky, “You better bring him home Tommy. Don’t you leave her without a wingman.”

The next week and a half was filled with dread and worry.

Worry that Maverick would make good on that promise of being the one to die on this mission. Worry that it would be Rooster, someone you weren’t as close to but you knew he meant a lot to Mav. Worry that you would be alone, grieving another father figure.

You barely left the office, sat there in that damn chair looking at that damn computer screen. The last words he typed on it were still displayed.

“It’s time to let go.”

The five words felt like mockery as you read them over and over and over.

How could you just “let go”? Did he really think you hadn’t tried that? Or that it was that simple?

Because it wasn’t.

You wish you could have just accepted it, that grieving someone as they sat in front of you breathing would have made it easier. But it didn’t.

You felt like you were on the monkey bars again, the ground miles away from you and you were scared to fall.

“How can I let go when I have no one to catch me?”

As you waited in the silence, for a response that you knew wouldn’t come, a knock sounded through the quiet house.

Your mom had stepped out to go get stuff for dinner. So you were the only one at home.

Sniffling and turning the monitor off, you got up and went to the front door.

When you opened it, you nearly collapsed.

There on your front porch was Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. He was scraped up a little, but he was alive.

“Mav… Mav!”

He smiled as he caught you, keeping you from falling onto the ground and holding you close as you clung onto his bomber jacket, tears staining the vinyl.

“You’re here… you came home.”

He kissed your temple, rubbing your back and cradling the back of your head.

“Of course I did, I couldn’t leave my wingman.”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mayhemmanaged @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @cassiemitchell @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

#vinny's whumptober #vinny's rainy day records #whumptober day 13 #whumptober #ailesswhumptober2023 #whumptober 2023 #tgm #top gun maverick #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell x kazansky!reader #kazansky!reader #pete maverick mitchell #top gun #whump #angst #tw: death #tw: grief #sarahsmi13s

84 notes · View notes

pollyna · 2 years

Note

All of these prompts sound fascinating! Being super into Ice, I'd be really interested in 4, 15, 22 and 31, but any writing of yours is a gift.

It wans't in any of my plans to actually write on of that prompts AHAHAH but anyway i can't say no, but it's gonna be an extension of the prompt more than a ff? I'm probably going to go back on them at some point when the fucking inventary will stop killing me. So thank you so much for your kind words and i'm really sorry if it's not what you were expecting.

-#04: Can't pass out

"We had a pact, Admiral" a voice says, from the door.

"No. You, my husband, and my kid decided on something. I, for my part, didn't agree with anything. So no, no pact of any kind, Admiral Kerner."

"Thomas."

"Ronald, what can I do for you today?"

"Cancer won't win because work will kill you first."

"I'm going to die anyway. At least you should let me choose how, what do you think?"

Ron knows that snapping back won't help, that Tom is just as concerned and scared as they all are. And he's tired. He was more tired than he let people see, but Ron had been around since Tom was nineteen, and he saw it all, so he knew.

"Come on, old man, let me take you home; we can eat takeout and watch stupid soap operas, and I won't tell anybody you fell asleep ten minutes into the night's most interesting movie," Ron says, and he knows he's won when Tom snorts back at him.

"Okay, okay. But only if you can get the chicken from that southern place on the Sixth."

Ron doesn't say it but he would go to Georgia to take a single piece of chicken tender if that would help in taking Ice home.

Tom goes from standing up to almost face down on the maquette in half a second, the time Ron has to imagine himself flying to Georgia and back in time for dinner and thinking about how many laws he could break or not. Tom's body hits the ground but not with his face because Ron still has some reflex and grabs him before the worst can happen.

"I'm too young for this shit, Ronnie" Tom whispers, against his chest, a lifetime of silence after.

"I know Tommy, I know. But you have to stay awake and not pass out. Then we will go home and eat all the fried chicken you want" he answers, whispering too because he's sure that if he tries to talk out loud he will start crying and he can't, not right now.

-#15: New scars. This one it's gonna be a little more consistent but that's bc it's a fic I'm trying to write since forver and i'm constantly changing parameters on what i should or shouldn't do. But it's not the interesting part of it, sorry lol.

"I can try to do that." Tom nods as if he's trying to convince himself, and Ron has to count from five to zero before moving a single muscle.

5 old scars someone put on his body and he tells the story to Maverick + the 5 Maverick was around to see heal.

He got the first one when he's five and running around with a plastic plane his dad took home after his n. mission he can't talk about but makes him angry and snappy with his mom but soft with his son, expecially when he passes his big, big, hands in his hair. He's running around the garden and then he's falling on his little plane, his mom is running towards him, his dad is screaming he's an idiot and toy is broke in two pieces and Tom doesn't know what he makes him cry the most: the blood he's loosing from his knee or he precious new toy that now lies between the grass without a wing.

His dad put the plane in the bin and doesn't listen reason when his mom tries to tell him that it can be easily fix and Tom gets a scar, a small and insignificant one that he will soon forget.

(Mav kisses it, during one of nights they have free and have no hurry be anywhere if not in bed. He makes funny faces evertime Tom tells the story on how he got it and Iceman laugh along because you're cute when you make that face Pete.)

II.

The second one Pete notices, this time they're making out on 'Wood terrible couch because everybody else is outside for a barbecue and it's too hot to stay inside but kissing Pete is worth even that, is just a little as the first one, mostly covered by his hairs and when Pete's finger trace it he almost jump because he forgot he was there and it still so sensitive. Pete notices but doesn't have the time to say anything because Tom is kissing him again and Ron is calling because dinner is read and if they don't move their going to have to eat grass!

(He tells Pete, a couple of hours and beers later, that high school hasn't been as kind as he likes to remember. And he talked too many, two, languages people didn't understand and Easter Europe heritage made him a commie every day of the week. He got in a fight more against a desk than the boy but they both got suspended but nobody ever tried to mess with him, after that day.)

III.

-#22: Caughing out blood.

The next one has a funny story that makes Slider a little wild when he gets around talking about it because he has the same one in the same place! Young, dumb and a day away from deployment they drunk too much shitty alcohol they find in the mess kitchen and tried to jump over the wall on the Academy. They both failed so bad they end up with both of their forearms bleeding a little and the instructor was soooo pissed, do you remember Tommy? He talked for hours and we had the mother of all headaches but Ice cold no mistake found the way out of that situation just looking at the guy. I could have kissed you right there for that.

He washed it three times, and there's still blood on it. The blood is on his shirt, on his hands, on his skin, and uncl-his dad is lying on a hospital bed, with too many machines connected to his body and an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. Deployment sucked this time around; the squadron was full of navy brats who wanted to know more about everybody. At least Phoenix was there.

They were eating outside, at some place on the ocean Mav found while riding his bike at three in the morning when Ice wasn't there, and that he promised made the best risotto seafood he ever tasted. They were laughing, drinking white wine, and his arm was around Ice's shoulders in support of Mav's last disaster when the older man started to cough. Once, twice, and then a third time, until Bradley felt his own blood running cold because there was blood. Blood on the tissue and then on his shirt because Ice wasn't fast enough to cover his mouth again.

And then Mav's hands were touching Ice and looking at him like he was trying to find an answer to a question Bradley didn't even know existed.

"Breath love breath. Bradley is going to drive us to the hospital, but I need you to continue to breath like the doctor showed you." He said, "Yeah, yeah, like that. C'mon Ice, I know you can do it."

"Baby Goose, eyes here. I need you to start the car. We will be right behind you. Then you will drive to the hospital, and I'm going to explain everything, but I need to make sure Ice is okay before that. Do you understand Brad?"

"Ye-yes, pops. Car, hospital, and then you're going to explain it to me. Okay. "

Ice's eyes were glossy and concentrated on Maverick and Maverick alone.

"It's going to be okay, Baby Goose." Ice murmured, his voice low and cracked.

-#31: You can rest now.

The idea comes to Rooster while on a little too much of a drug after they had to set his shoulder twice because the first time it didn't set right.

Once I'm out of here, we should all go and spend the night in the den. Nothing is as warm and comfy as the den. I miss the den. Can we go to the den, pops?" he asked, almost on the point of tears.

"Yeah, Baby Goose, we can go to the den." He answers, laughing a little.

"Okay pops, thank you" he answers before snuggling a little more into his pillow, with Natasha and Jake's fingers patting his hair.

The den is warm and, oh, how Bradley missed this place.

"So this is the den?" a voice behind him asks, and someone whistles.

"Yeah, yeah this is the den." Bradley answers before slumping in his favourite spot, the cat already stretching her belly to let him pat her.

"It's nice." Jake says, sitting beside him.

"Yeah, every house should have one!" Fritz adds "and a cat! Who's this beautiful creature? Bradley, why are you trying to hide all the beautiful people in your life from me?"

Everybody's laughing and it's like Bradley's eight again when Carole used the den to organise him birthday parties he wasn't supposed to know anything about.

But now he's thirty-eight and his mom is dead more years than she was alive and the people around him are his family in the way his uncles are and-and Bradley wants to lie in the sun and let himself feel something that's not anger for once.

And apparently everybody has the same idea because he can finish the thought that eleven other bodies cuddle around him and he loses the count of hands that are touching, patting, and massaging him, but it feels so good that he doesn't want to be anywhere else. Lady Carole curls on his stomach, the door opens, and soft steps are followed by the smell of warm cider and biscuits. Before falling asleep, he hears Mav and Ice on the sofa, softly conversing with Halo.

#i promise i will work on the one with rooster and slider and the photos #but for now #tom iceman kazansky #whumptober wip #ron slider kerner #iceman & slider friendship #pete maverick mitchell #icemav #bradley rooster bradshaw #tom iceman kazansky & pete maverick mitchell are bradley rooster bradshaw's parents #the daggers #otp: things get old our love is gold #all the sad stuff i'm not going to tag bc i wouldn't ever finish #i'm not really sure this the best version so again i'm sorry i'm going to try to write a better one soon enough :)#hope you'll like anyeay in the meantime #bradley on drugs wants to cuddle a lot

51 notes · View notes