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survivenovascotia · 4 years

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Episode 1 - I have no idea what I'm doing. - Eric

Everyone’s pretty active. Certain people know each other and I’m pretty much a newborn deer in the ORG community. Chrissa says “I’ve added pretty much everyone” as a contact but didn’t add me. So then I added a few people and no response or people added me back. Like my god I could go home for being a newbie. No hun.

I have no idea what I'm doing. It's honestly been so long I'm just trying to talk to everybody and get to know them. I don't remember when the time to start alliances are and other things and it's a whole mess but we are working with it!!

Russell deserves all the wins

So I think Austin and I may have started an alliance. He seems pretty nice and I believe that he wants to be loyal especially since it's only be 2 hours since the game started. I'm hoping tomorrow us two can find some other people to make a larger alliance. I get good vibes from Heather and Chips specifically. Chips I knew before I left the community a while back, and I know he has a lot of passion for ORGs which I think is very valuable in an ally. I also really like Heather because we are very similar people. We are both starting college, both just returned to ORGs. It just kind of felt meant to be. Obviously I have to listen to who Austin likes too. I think when I played orgs in the past, my errors were both not making the alliances soon enough, and also trying to control them. If I want to win, I have to play differently.

Im BACK. Imma make this quick. Welcome to Cast First Night Impression Vibes Coco~ Havent Spoken to him too much yet since it was 4AM when things came out for him. Seems sweet. Says he played on tengaged and zwooper. Stephen~ We played in the past. I think 2 games, one where I was completely against him and one where I tried to be on his side then everyone voted him out early. I think both were atomic games. He messaged me right away since he knew I took a long boi break which was nice. Gotta talk to him a bit more. Austin~ Seems pretty chill, we had convo about horror stuff and atm talking about Winners at War (I'm not gonna spoil anything. Don't yall worry) I can definitely see potentially working with him. Livingston~ Talked for a little bit. Shared a little bit of theatre stuff with each other since he does a lot of tech for his school where as I do onstage and offstage things. There is potential. Dylan~ We talked a bit. Im vibing. I hope he is too. talked more music tastes and all. POTENTIAL Eric~ Eric and I are one. We were talking and realized we are the same person and are the voices in each others head. I definitely want to work with him the most out of anyone so far. Splat/Evan~ Pretty chill tried talking to him. I feel a connection but like not like the biggest. I think things could definitely look up in the future tho Chips~ CHIIIIIIIPS. I love Chips. I didn't talk to him as much as I should have my previous game with him like 2 YEARS AGO. We talked a lot today and I think this game I can possibly work with him. Glo~ We played a big brother org together toward the beginning of my break, which was a rough time in my life and why I stick to survivor games. She messaged me and I messaged back, but I have yet to get another message from her yet. We will see in the morning. FOR IDOL SEARCHES: I checked an I am gonna write down the paths I take. I got a deadend this time.

GLO GLO is spilling the tea . I have only done live chat with DYLAN so far but OMG we connected and he reminded me of two players I loved and do to this day one for over 10 year the other for 5 years who are close to me to this day. Me and Dylan connected talked about life game laughed shared stories and somehow FINAL 2 has evolved and I am super happy about this.

Ok this is the most social I’ve ever been at the start of a game I called Gloria since we’re both I Love Money alumni & we hella bonded ??????? She’s so sweet 🥰🥺🥰🥺 we literally talked for two full hours on cast reveal day, wow. I would love to work with her far into this game, maybe even to the end 🤭 if we could do that Stephen is cool, I’d like to work with him. He’s loyal & smart & good at challenges so ✌🏻 Eric & I had a very interesting dynamic in middle earth, but I think we were able to smooth over that together Evan also seems really cool, I just met him but we’ve already switched friend codes so it’s getting pretty serious also glo was like ‘You better not betray me for a man you have a crush on’ and I was like uhhh I’m emotionally unavailable don’t worry glo you’re safe

I feel less stressed atm. Chatted to a couple people. Nothing major, no alliances made (or if add production to it). I hope I can continue manoeuvre my way to find a footing in this alliance otherwise I’ll be the first boot and be annoyed at myself. Just worried about past connections and my no connections.

Heyyy, first confessional of the season!! So the tribe seems pretty chill, no one i hate, a few i know. Dylan and Heather might be an issue if they hold grudges? But i doubt it. What I’m really looking for healre is a solid group of 4, I could see chips and heather being a part of that as they arent goats, but who knows. The idea is to group with people who will play and take the heat off me, instead of goats who might gang up on me at end game

Personally coming into this game as a new player, one of my biggest concerns were past relationships. So I talked with my secret alliance member Choo about who he has played with in the past, and he mentions Austin. After doing that, I ask Austin who he has played with in the past, and he tells me that he has never played with anyone before. Immediately I knew he was bullsh*tting. However, I really need to keep my mouth shut that Austin lied about this to me, but when the time comes, I'll be sure to expose his ass.

My strategy in this game is to create as many options for me to take as possible to get to the end. The way I'm doing that is by playing the "clueless 16 year old" card so that people see me as naive, when in reality, I'm probably just as ready to backstab, lie, cheat, steal just as much as any of these people are, if not more. So far it seems to be working and I sense that a lot of people feel as though they can trust me. But I will take the option that best suits me.

Immediately I was able to create a secret alliance with Coco, due to a mutual friend, being Evanw919. Evan is one of my best friends irl and was actually the person that introduced me to this game. After talking to Coco a lot, I feel as though he is someone I can trust, and I do intend to go as far as I can with him... unless it's in my best interest to take him out if necessary. I may intend on trusting him, but I don't intend to let friendships impact my decision making.

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First day went great I feel ! Everyone is super nice so far and I hope we can win a few challenges together. COCO IS HERE! I love coco and hope we can go far together already . I have trusted him before and it turned out really good for me. Glo is a sweetheart and gotta love her. Livingston is nice and so is chips tho I feel they may need to go down the road. Stephen and me have talked a lil in the community so I feel I can maybe trust him . I'm excited and nervous to be playing again but ready to go !

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I like this cast and like the people on my tribe i hope they are not too annoyed hearing about my internet but they have to know what they might be dealing with obviously it only happens at certain times depending how many people are on the internet with rogers, so if i get voted out cause of it i won't be mad, but also i am hoping for a lockdown end sooner than later so we can switch providers. as John Coffey said it's a very bad time to be having these internet problems.

Okay! The season is officially on! Not much to report about yet but I want to make a confessional right now just in case I forget to do it later. Gotta avoid those strikes! So far all I know about my tribe is that John Coffey and I briefly played together in a previous game, though we weren’t ever on the same tribe, and Chrissa and I played together at some point though I can’t remember anything about when we did. I’m looking forward to the challenge and I hope we can crush it!

I have managed to talk to everyone on my tribe and I definitely feel good vibes from most apart from maybe Livingston who doesn't really seem interested in talking to me. What is interesting that Evan asked me if I had known anyone from previous game(s) and I told him I knew Austin and Livingston BUT Austin told him that he knew NONE. So now Evan doesn't trust him but trusts me. I really like Evan,Eric, Heather, Austin and also Glo and Dylan. I'd like to work with them but mostly with Evan, Eric, Heather and Austin.

Right now what I'm trying to do is to get these people caught in a lie, but I intend to save the lie to expose them when the time is right. People say one of the worst mistakes you can make in survivor is playing too hard too fast. However, playing hard quickly can be gotten away with if you are sneaky about it and don't get caught. I'm trying to get these people to think I'm incompetent as they aren't even aware they are being manipulated

2ND Confessional OK so far my 2 favorites I have talked to are Dylan and if the truth is being told we are in 2 man alliance. @nd I have messaged with most is CoCo real name David. He said he is knew to orgs and is afraid of alliances happening which probably is true. Dylan and I both like CoCo so we are bring him in as our 3rd hopeful in a possible alliance. CoCo actually said he wanted to work with me so hopefully I have him and Dylan watching my back as I will them if they stay loyal but if they run their mouth goodbye quick if needed. So far I am happy with these two and have no idea what other two I hope to round up. Both Dylan and I agree about getting CoCo with us and hope it don't backfire with a new player to orgs.

I’ve chatted to Kevin and acted like I’m paranoid (I am a wee bit but I’m definitely adding spice) and he’s like “If I hear your name I’ll let you know” which is what I’m looking for. If I can play a ditzy “I’m just happy to be here!” act I think it’ll make the more strategic players come to me and make them act like I’m a pawn in their chess game. (I have good episode title material Yass). Also I’m gay.

I love music video challenges, but everyone seems to not like them so I am a bit nervous. I got closer to Coco and I love him!! I definitely wanna work with him and he said he feels comfortable with me Austin and Eric, which same so I right now feel good but its only been a day. I hope we get a good score, although we already know one person who would prefer to not be in it oof.

The idol hunt, love the idea. Me and Darcy are working together and telling each other where we went. My first way was a flop, not helpful. Darcy’s first route was T2, R, L, R, R and went out and my first route was shorter. I think if we keep going this way we’ll get to the idol soon. I told Darcy to go T2, R, L, R, L, L as I think that will bring us closer.

They voted Call Me Maybe. I want to die but I want to win more so HEY I JUST MET YOU

Have I confessed too much in the past few hours? Nah. So Coco and I are planning to work together and we seem to be on the same wavelength and he seems to trust me. He shared about his idol hunt and I think we are gonna try and map out together different tunnels. I mentioned how I dont think anyone would have the idol yet, but I could be wrong. We also talked about hoping to get Austin and Eric in to potentially work together, which I am down for as long as we can get the numbers. I do think I have to feel out more before I do anything drastic as we LITERALLY HAVENT DONE A CHALLENGE YET. Any who, I think I am having a decent social game at the moment, but you know thats just my point of view. I hope no one hates me yet (thats for later). I wanna do a tribe call but Im lowkey nervous that chaos will ensue or it will be too quiet for some reason. I mainly want it to form more bonds with people, and possibly play a jackbox game of fibbage to see who the best liar is (it is a science).

Looking at my options for a four-man super-team power-rangers/voltron alliance, my instinct is to team up with Chips, Heather, and Dylan. While one benefit is I have some prior experience with each of these guys, the main reason is that each of these have made a consistent effort to talk to me and we have some form of rapport. Glo has also tried to talk to me but like, I know nothing about her? Its been hard to have a clear conversation. The others are fine, we’ll see how we go.

should i aim for chips-heather-dylan for a 4 alliance? or chips-heather-eric?? i know its early but this kind of alliance should be i think, at the same time though being pushy can lead to being seen as a threat... maybe i should wait to see if we loose immunity

The tea is that today Evan told me he had formed a secret alliance called "Florida" w Heather. I am okay w it because I trust both of them! We made an agreement that Evan would check tunnel 1, I would do 2 and Heather would check 3 for the idol. I hope I managed to put myself in a decent position. That's all for now I guess.

So last night we decided to pick Call Me Maybe as our song for the Lip Sync challenge which is iconic and the pretty people tribe will win!! Today was a little bit more lowkey. I spent a majority of the day finishing off my persuasive speech assignment. Towards the afternoon though, Heather talked to me about how we could work together in the game and I was REALLY glad for that. I was intending on talking to her anyway about starting an alliance with her. Earlier, Austin and I confirmed our strategical bond by making an alliance and talking about who we would want to join us. I said Heather and Austin said Coco. I really like both so I'm glad. Heather told me that she was told about the 4, so it's nice to see that everyone's on the same page. Hopefully we win the challenge, but at the moment I feel good about the group that's beginning to form.

My one fear in this challenge (aside from public humiliation) is that I think our songs a little basic and too over done? We’ll find out how the judges feel I guess

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I don’t have much new to report other than Mac saying he wants to work with me in the game. So I’ve got that going. John’s a fantastic guy and I’d love to get something going with him too. That’s a far cry from a majority in this game but it’s a start. I’m hoping we can pull through and win this challenge so we don’t have to worry at all about going to tribal first. I’m not confident enough in my position in the game right now that I’d be able to survive a tribal.

Soooooo a alliance finally started with me eric , evan, heather,and coco which I'm 100% down for with the time being . I really like everyone tho so I hope we win this first challenge . Even tho I really hate music videos . I'm awkward and never know what to do . Hopefully my tribe can carry me by with this one .

Eric tells me about this 5 person alliance plan, with himself, Austin, Heather, Coco, and myself. What I tell him, is that I am completely comfortable going with his plan and that I feel blessed to be a part of the group. However, what Eric doesn't know, is that I was the one who initially created this plan. There's a core secret 3 person alliance here with Coco, Heather and myself, along with two semi-trustworthy guys in Eric and Austin. The best part about this, is that Eric and Austin have no idea that they are on the bottom of the alliance. In fact, they think they were the ones to instigate it.

So tis' 10:53 PM on a april 12th night and the alliance between myself, Heather, coco, austin and evan is official. Coco really wanted evan involved and honestly evan is really cool and kind of a mini-me so I'm fine with him being involved. Austin and Heather also like evan so everything's good. I hope we win the challenge because I like the whole tribe but the others haven't talked with me quite as much. Glo is nice but when she dms she, she explains herself like Im silently disproving of her which is weird because she can do whatever she wants idc she's a queen. Chips is nice and we talked the most out the other 4, but sometimes I don't understand what he's saying. I don't think that's a bad thing necessarily, but I just feel more comfortable around the other 4. Stephen and Dylan are nice as well and I think they are cool, but we just haven't really got to talk that much. I really hope we win the challenge because I don't want to vote anyone out but we will see.

Wow ok Im in an alliance. Me like that. I named us the prettier people because we call our tribe the pretty people tribe. I really like the people in it as it includes Austin, Eric, Evan and Coco. Evan wants to make Coco Evan and I the core 3 in the group, however, I feel closest to Coco and Eric as of right now. Lets hope we need to talk game more LATER since I want to win the challenge rather than vote someone off. Im hoping I can somehow get alliances with the Eric Austin side, making us a core 3, and the Coco Evan side making us a core 3.

Oop Stephen is trying to form a tight 3 person alliance, today is the rise of the game play

So i decided on forming an alliance of three instead, smaller but a bit less intimidating, and I let Heather choose the third for diplomacy, she chose austin who wouldnt be my first choice but still good. Hopefully this is a good first step.

Alliance 1: The Prettier People: Me, Coco, Austin, Eric, Evan Alliance 2: The Chatty Trio: Me, Austin, Stephen (Stephen mentioned sides with Livingston and Chips as well so Id say they are affiliations) Alliance 3: Unnamed as of right now and yet to form a chat: Me, Coco, Evan I guess Austin sees us working well together so Id say that's definitely a plus so woo This happened very quickly. It has been quite an Easter in Canada

Sunshine and myself had a nice long Skype call last night getting to know each other! Darcy was there for much of it as well but it was mainly Sunshine talking. It feels really good to build a bond early on and I’m hoping we can keep that up and work together in this game. Right now Jessie seems to be the least active person on the tribe. She doesn’t really speak much in tribe chat and I’ve only had a brief conversation with her in PMs.

WE WON! Call me maybe more like Call us the winners BABY WOOOOOOOOO

Hey so I just got off an almost hour long call with Glo... and she is terrifying!!! Seriously if it wasn’t for the fact I’m 80% sure I couldn’t do it I’d want her out first. HOWEVER We Won!!!!! party party. While early tribals can be good I feel like I’m doing well enough in the bonding not to need it.

WE WON WOOOO. I was so worried!! We can all live in peace for a day Bless Up

Russell deserves to win

Well we lost the first immunity challenge which is a huge hit to morale. My only goal for the next 24 hours is to just convince people to not write my name down. I don’t feel like I’ve bonded as much as I should have with some people but I think I can keep my name off the block. I’ve already spoken with Mac, Darcy and Kevin and they’ve all agreed to work with me. So that’s 4 of the 5 majority there. I had a long call with Sunshine last night so I think I can get him on my side as well. I should be okay. But things can change so quickly in this game. As for who I’d like to vote out. Jessie has been the least active in tribe chat. But Dan is who I’ve spoken with the least out of everyone. Kevin being on exile island makes this vote both easier and more difficult. There can’t be a rock draw. Someone is getting straight up voted out.

I asked the chat if anyone had animal crossing & Evan was like ‘chip does’ literally WHAT how close are y’all ?? Evan said this was his first ever ORG. Also he straight up asked me who I knew already & who was trustworthy. Like HUH. We played smash bro’s together tho after that so I think we’re chill Anyways, I like everyone on the tribe. Glo wants to form a threesome w us & Coco which I am down for. Heather & Eric both scare me 😟 I always get so paranoid at the start of orgs I’m So glad we won that challenge bc I would be so scared of going home 🥺🥺

in alliance with Dylan who stole that video and challenge we won. My power went out and neighborhood destroyed with storm all I could do was in house by window scene and was worried I wouldn't get anything submitted but I did get something in thank goodness but I sucked. I have talked to Stephen and have talked to Chips and like both of them. I like Coco also but time difference is killing us trying to chat live but we will make it happen. I am proud of Dylan in that video so much. I want to talk live with Austin cause I have a feeling I will like him but time will tell. Glad did not have to vote anyone out and i was scared it might have been me. We only won by a point so that was close call for sure. I still try to message and reach people but getting some to talk live is hell. Only one I talk game with is Dylan and nothing heavy yet. lol

At the immunity challenge today, I believe I did a very good job staying in the middle in terms of how much work got done. I didn't do all the work, but I did enough so that I wouldn't get targeted for doing nothing

There's no denying that online survivor attempts to be fairly similar to how survivor is on T.V. However, there are still some very key differences between the two. One very important distinction is how much easier it is to get away with lying. This is because for one, they can't read your face, and two, the person lying has time to think about what they want to say before they say it. These two factors can make it much easier to lie compared to real life. Right now I'm lying to almost everyone except for Coco, who I feel would likely be a goat who I can take to the end. Don't get me wrong, I am ready to play this game very hard and do what it takes to win, regardless of if my tribe mates see that or not.

Gloria is lowkey weirding me out a little bit. Why does this old lady want to video chat with a 16 year old boy that she's never had a SINGLE conversation with? Why is she consistent continuing to ask about it? These are questions I do have, but in the game of survivor, sometimes you can't always know the answer. If I did ask, I could potentially find myself in hot water and cause bad vibes from her, so as of now I just need to keep declining her requests to video chat until I send her old ass home.

So coming into this game, I see Kevin and Darcy on my tribe, and I have a relatively okay history with them. However, Kevin is the only one that is really talking to me right now other than Sunshine. Sunshine is sooo TALKATIVE AND ANNOYING!!!!! OMFG HE WONT SHUT UP! However he is good in challenges, so he needs to stick around. honestly I have had no game talk with anyone as of yet, so I dont have much to write about.

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Hey sis, not much has happened which is worrying. Me and Darcy haven’t found the idol which is annoying. I talked to a couple people about the vote and some hadn’t made their mind and I said Chrissa or Jessie as the vote. The lack of people talking is scary tbqh.

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I hate losing cause judges are blind they are wrong anyway on a personal note if i am still in the game at this point my internet should be running better cause my mom finally gave in and called bell to switch. But i am gonna be real no one has messaged me so idk how safe i feel.

Me being able to get Chrissa out first vote. WOW COME ON NEWBIE! Snakes, they like to stay hidden. Blend in. If a person sees a snake slithering around hissing all the time, people will react negatively to the snake. But if the snake has been blending into it’s surroundings, the person wont realise. I don’t know if I’d call myself a villain or anti-hero. The reason why I want Chrissa out is because she has a bad social game and I want to keep around people who I’ve bonded with. (I swear I’m kind in real life!)

It’s certainly looking like the vote is going to be Chrissa tonight. I’m a little sad at that since she’s a genuinely wonderful person. Something about this game is just making me super depressed. Everyone’s been so nice and friendly. Everyone has put effort into the game. But Chrissa’s name was the first one thrown out and it’s just sticking. I can’t even think of another name to throw out instead. This game is going to be rough to play I think. Usually I’m not so invested in my other tribe mates but I would truly like for all of us to win this game.

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survivor-kalymnos · 4 years

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Ep. 10 - “I need ice cream. I need a quesadilla. I need a hug.” - Lenny

Frank

I swear I have a heart. I end up getting caught in so many fights in orgs nowadays and honestly it’s not something I enjoy but I’m also not just going to sit back while I’m being attacked. What hurts the most is reading about not holding a conversation. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard it in orgs and not even the first time I’ve heard it in life and it hurts and sucks. I’m like on the verge of tears because of shit like that, I’m a person I have feelings and I try to be good at speaking to people but I fall short so many times. It’s one of my biggest fears, losing people because of my social ineptness (don’t think that’s a word but here we are). What I can do is move on and move forward with the people who seem to enjoy talking to me and have actually not just left me on read and put effort into getting to know a person and how they communicate. And them worm is just sitting here doing absolutely nothing but nobody is calling them out on it so fuck me i guess. I’m gonna be sad about it for a little bit but it’s not like I feel like it was a personal attack since truly it wasn’t.

lenny

eliza went home. SO MUCH DRAMA! I am just watching rn. new alliance chat formed called "invisibles". makes me feel very superhero like.

lenny

People are yelling. People are fighting. People are calling each other snakes and rats. I just want to munch. I need ice cream. I need a quesadilla. I need a hug.

Frank

Me to Franco: that's why i just said ok, at least i read messages, wanted to let you know you've been heard....not listened to, but heard Michele Learned to see the game from an outside. No longer taking everything personally. Excited to leap back into this, but might try to hide around for a few rounds and let them take out bigger threats.

Frank

So it’s like 2am and I have some thoughts. It’s been a roller coaster tonight in this game and I’m actually really proud of how I handled things. I’m in an actual alliance now which is calming and amazing since it’s a majority and I feel I can trust some of these people. That tribal definitely drew some lines in the sand but I’m pretty happy about it. Like I said in my last confessionals, I don’t always like to fight, but it happened. I think I defended myself well. Nothing really got solved but I saw how Rain feels about me. I didn’t even know they had a problem with me because they just never responded to my messages. Why they decided to join the fight is anyone’s guess since it didn’t involve them nor did it need to. I didn’t have a problem with Rain, but I guess I do now. I guess moving forward I need to become a better speaker in one on one conversations but that’s a bigger issue. Who knew dusty would be my closest ally now but here we are. Dusty and Sasha, but like I doubt I can take dusty to f3 but who knows what will happen in the future, f3 is so far away.

Michele

I’m mostly certain that my brother is Frank and wow I could have taken him out for bragging rights but tbh starting to trust him so he might need to stay. Really starting to watch out for Dusty tho👀

Franco

Day 1 of missing Eliza. I'm SO PISSED. I knew eliza giving her idol would bite us in the ass, I wish I could have done something to stop it. If I had known eliza was the target i would have played my idol on her in a HEARTBEAT. Im kicking myself because theres so much we could've done. We shouldn't have tried to split last minute. If I kept my vote on Frank, he would have left. Michele is a rat. Dusty is a snake. Frank is basically a nonentity in this game but somehow also is the biggest annoyance in the game. I want them all gone. I need to reevaluate my game. Hopefully they move onto other targets now that my number 1 is gone, but I dont trust that enough. Dusty is now in control of 2 idols, and I wasted my own. I don't know how to come back from this, but there is a fire under my ass and renewed rage, and I am going to do EVERYTHING i can to win this fucking game

Michele

After talking to other people I don’t think I’m going to win immunity. It’s probably better for my game anyway given the fact that I won the last 2 public comps. I hope I can fly under the radar at tribal and send franco packing but the tables have turned and once again there might be bigger fish to fry. Unfortunately that fish might be me...

Franco

Day 2 of missing Eliza God this is actually.... So depressing. 5 out of the 7 people left in this game left me on read yesterday when I was trying to talk game to them. Multiple people flat out told me I was on the bottom and Im probably going next. Yesterday I said I had a fire under my ass and I was ready to take back this game but today that is... Gone. Like I feel so defeated. I feel like I'm putting in so much effort to talk to everyone and figure out what to do but I'm just hitting brick walls. This challenge is easy and I can easily win with effort, but that is effort I dont have the capacity to put in right now. And even though I have hundreds of pictures, I have a feeling someone is just going to come in and blow that out of the water. I don't see a path to the end. Im going to put in as much work as I can for the rest of this round, hoping I find one. But right now theres nothing. I really hope that changes.

lenny

I am so exhausted from this challenge. I worked really hard at it and my mom got upset with me for dojng it because I should be doing work for class lol. I'd really like to win this challenge. For me, winning is more than immunity. It shows that I am a strong competitor and deserve to be here. I know I am not the loudest person in the tribe or the sneakiest, but, I am still here and that means something right?

Sasha

uhhhh I'm going to make this as comprehensive as possible but also my brain is fried so I'm gonna see how it goes last round: bunch of us voted out eliza, which really only worked because she and franco were had turned on some people to blindside cranjes before. also the 5 of us who did that have a chat now, called "the invisibles" (it's dusty, lenny, michele, frank, and I) we're planning on going for franco this round, assuming he doesn't in this challenge (I don't think he will) speaking of franco, he approached me yesterday to have a convo about the game so far. he basically explained his involvement in a bunch of stuff to me and was saying that even though people perceived him to be running the game, he felt as though he'd been floundering these past few rounds. he also said that he respected my game and I was like "lol what game" then he asked how likely it was that he'd go this round and I said fairly. he also asked if I'd consider not voting for him. I said maybe. I probably will; I'm actually in an alliance and I'd like to stick with it asdfgknj also this challenge? I have a good feeling about. I've taken so many pictures that my brain hurts. also I knew I'd have a good edge since I own about 300 books so that's a good chunk of pictures right there.

Rain

I’m defeated. I’m angry. Literally nobody but franco and Lenny is putting in the effort to speak to me. It’s fucking painful. I’d rather go home this round than see Franco leave. Franco deserves to be here. You know who doesn’t? Frank. Frank continues to be on borrowed time hiding underneath allies that play better than him. My cat has a better social game than frank and she hisses at anyone who comes close to her. I’m pissed. We could have the numbers to stay but Lenny won’t keep franco. What the fuck. Take me to jury. I’m done with these “only speak to my allies” shit players.

Franco

I don't know what to do.

Michele

When I first started this game I did it for the sole purpose of beating my brother. My mindset has changed as I’ve gotten so far. I *really* want to win now!! It’s going to be really rough but I think I can do it?

Sashah

i im still bitter 3 hours later that I went ham on this challenge, fried my brain, and got second

Franco

Day 3 of missing Eliza I AM ABSOLUTELY SHITTING MYSELF. GOD MY DEVELOPMENT ARC FOR THIS ROUND IS SO CRAZY. I know I'm probably the target tonight, yesterday I was so sad all day and literally just felt like giving up. But TODAY. I found???? Idol????? AGAIN???? That fire has been RE LIT SIS. My ass ain't going anywhere tonight

Michele

Getting the invisibles to come to a decision is almost as frustrating as when I tried with og nera. Lack of communication is why I am almost a free agent. Trying to BB17 Steve my way to the top.

Frank

I’m hoping it’s an easy round and we just get rid of Franco. This alliance was made after the vote last time so it would be really dumb and sad if we can’t even vote together once.

Michele

I think of all tribals in the game so far tonights will be the most impactful to my game personally. As far as I know it seems like my vote is the deciding factor. I’m down between rain and frank, but I don’t personally want frank gone. I’m weighing the pros and cons going forward and its so even.

MicheleJ

ust a rat looking for her Linguini

Dusty

Alright!!!!! Now this vote would appear simple, take out Franco, who's all alone and blown up his game. Worm and Rain were working with him before but they’ve both expressed to me that they would vote of Franco if it were to help further there game. And of course this is a smart decision but my my brain gets on caffeine I just get to thinking!! If I were to give my idol to Franco, then he uses the idol and gets to decide who goes home. Now ultimately this is a mess because he could decide to vote of someone that I don’t want to go home. So as much as it sounds fun and dramatic I don’t really think that’s a smart move. Now back to Rain and Worm...they’ve both presented me with an opportunity. At this point in he game I think whoever goes into final 7 tribal with the power will really have influence over the rest of the game. If I stick with this alliance of 5 (Sasha, Frank, Lenny, Michele, and myself) then we go into 7 with majority, but it also creates a situation where Sasha and Frank are a duo and then Lenny, Michele, and I are more than individuals but less than a trio and at this point in the game that’s not a solid ground to stand on. Talking to Worm they saw Michele and I were a tight duo, and while talking to Rain they saw Lenny and I as a tight duo. Now this was NEWS to me because I always thought Michele was close to Worm, and same with Lenny and Rain. This gives me the opportunity next round to decide who i want to work with and hopefully stick with that group until the end. Obviously things could happen very differently, I’m unsure if I will go to Michele or Lenny to propose sticking together until the end, but who knows what could happen in this game.

Worm

This game is with out a doubt the wildest ride I have ever been on in an org. I have changed my path to the end so many times, and I feel like a majority of that is because of how chaotic some of the other people are playing. So with everything going on I just need to keep my head down and make sure that no matter how many people I betray, I need to make sure I still have that bridge built to work with them. I'm putting a lot of faith this round in Michele because its all up to her to vote for Frank. I don't why Im trusting Franco to take the reins with this vote, especially after HE TOLD MICHELLE ABOUT HIS IDOL. Like I'm flabbergasted. What is this cast problem with not telling every living soul about them having an idol. i'm just hoping everything work out because if it doesn't, then I'm not too sure of my chances of staying are. I wounder if people would go after larger targets or someone else. There is too many questions right now that I can't answer. So until then I will focus on what I can try and control. So the plan for the rest of this game will hopefully go as follows: this round we flush dusty's idol and get rid of frank. After that i would like to either get rid of Rain. I think out of everyone left they are the most likely to win. They are well-spoken, smart, and has a great relationship with everyone. I think if they make it to the end then they would have the best chances of winning. I think my best bet would be to work with Michele, Dusty, and maybe Lenny. That third person is kind of a mystery to me but if I can get Michele and Dusty on board then I think we can pull in a third. Maybe if Franco doesn't find another idol and he thinks that his back is against the wall then maybe he would flip. Only time would tell. After that at final 6 I would like to target Sasha. She seems like a wild card and I'm not sure where her head sits in this game. I also know that her and Franco are getting closer so that could leave Franco with no allies. I think after that, Dusty would be the best person to target. I think he also as a very high chance of winning and having someone so close with such a good chance of winning is a big threat. At final 4 I would want either Michele or Lenny out. Preferably Lenny because I think she has better social bonds and with Michele becoming more and more quiet it seems that will be my choice. I think Franco is one person I want in the end because even though he is making "big moves", many of them seem erratic and without logic to me. I don't think he has the foresight to see what consequences have occurred from his decisions. I know this isn't how the game is gonna go but I sure hope it does lol

Franco

OKAY so i spent a LOT of today mulling over options and plans and votes and allies. This might be the last chance i have to make a HUGE move with an idol so I have to make it work. Not gonna lie, I got messy. I slipped and told Michele, Rain, and Worm about my idol. But i don't think it blew up in my face, surprisingly. I'm lying to almost everyone. There are four different plans going on but only one is true. The plan is to get Dusty to use an idol AND ensure someone I don't trust goes home. I know Dusty, Lenny, and Frank are voting me, but my idol will ensure it does not matter. Rain, Worm and I are voting Dusty. He needs to have the most votes so he's forced to use the super idol and we don't have to worry about it anymore. I really trust Sasha. Like Rain and Sasha are my biggest allies right now, but unfortunately I had to lie to Sasha to ensure there weren't any leaks. I told her that the vote was going to Michele. So that's who she should be voting for. Michele knows about the plan to use my idol and flush Dustys, so she is going to vote Frank. SO if all goes according to plan, it will be a tie between Michele and Frank and it will go to a revote. Michele is an absolute rat and a snake and I can't trust her anymore. I want her GONE. After the first vote im going to campaign my ass off in those couple minutes to get her to go. SO YEAH. Me and all of my allies should be safe. FrancoAlso. Can i just say how SHOOK I am at this game? This round has been a rollercoaster, and this vote is so intense. There are so many intricacies and internal connections and ideas going on that is all cohesive in the grand scheme of whats actually going on. This is why I love Survivor and I love this game. Truly i think this is the most I've ever played from a strategic standpoint.

Sasha

in a twist of events, I'm voting with franco rather than for him why? well, bold of you to assume /I/ understand my own actions serious answer: because I realized that I talk the most to him and I'm closer to him than anyone else as a result. not even just game talk. just vibing and chatting about stuff, like shouting about the witcher for instance also I'm just vibing and not caring about Game(tm) so what do I have to lose by turning on the invisibles anyway rain was telling me that they were thinking of voting for franco and I was like "ok but first consider this new information: I'm not voting for him" and so they said that they won't vote for him franco decided to target michele instead, because she keeps flipping around to whatever benefits her, which makes sense. I guess I'm just chilling until the vote since, in theory, the invisibles decided to vote franco (I didn't try to convince them to vote for someone else just in case, because it would look highkey sus if I started to try to get the vote off franco after trying to vote for him three goddamn times)

Frank

It’s very quite and that makes me concerned for some reason bc I just don’t do well with quiet anymore I guess. I know survivor is on and I’m watching it too but like it’s been quiet for most of the day. I just hope that’s because it’s an easy round, but obviously I’m never going to feel comfortable.

Sasha

This is the second time I'm voting with someone who's engaging in a last ditch effort to save themselves. Hopefully it goes better this time

Sasha

WAIT FRANCO JUST USED AN IDOL SDFGHJK

Sasha

this tribal, man franco and I assume worm and rain, voted dusty to flush his super idol so then it was a tie between michele and frank I got 3 dms, one from michele just saying "please!!!" which is the only thing that kept me from confirming my vote for her immediately one from franco elaborating on the plan to flush the idol and one from dusty asking if I wanted to keep frank. I said yes and he confirmed. That was a surprise

Sasha

FUCK IT'S ROCKS BETWEEN ME, WORM, AND RAIN

Sasha

well shit

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selfcompassion88 · 5 years

Text

25.05.19

It’s currently 2:37am right now to be exact and I’m sitting at my desk writing this. I’m sleepy as hell but I wanted to write this while these lingering thoughts are still fresh. I don’t know what it is but I think I’m just born to be someone who’s just very unlucky in love. I think I’m an exception to love. It’s silly but part of me feels like I’m the reason people around me haven’t been in love either. That I somehow radiate a vibe that prevents people who are close to me from getting into relationships. I’ve thought about it over and over again and I wonder what makes me so different. Why is it that boys want nothing to do with me, don’t want to date me or get into a relationship with me? I would hope it’s not because I’m terrible-looking or have an awful personality. Or maybe it’s because I’m too talkative or direct. I think that boys don’t know how to approach me (that’s if any even have the intention of approaching me) because I’m awkward and that perhaps they can somehow see through me and notice how much insecurity I harbor. I’m sick of wondering what’s wrong with me and questioning why I’m not good enough. I’m sick of comparing myself to girls who actually get approached by guys and/or are in relationships. I guess I just want to know what makes ME so different. In my life I feel like boys are insects and something about my aura acts as bug spray warding off all male species. Frickin I don’t even have one guy friend. So today a guy who was a lot older than I was thought I was flirting with him. All my coworkers were making fun of me in my ear-piece while I was serving him which made me feel super awkward, embarrassed and I blushed real hard because of it. Because of my reaction I think he gradually conjured up this idea that I was into him and flirting with him and therefore was nervous around him. He didn’t seem turned off by it just super uncomfortable. Before he walked away he asked me for my name. Turns out he was one of my coworker’s friends. She later on said to me and I quote “he told me that the little Asian girl at the counter was flirting with him……and that she was so awkward” or something along those lines. Man I go through such a rough, awkward patch when it comes to communicating with boys. Like what the hell do u talk about? How do u keep a convo going? I. DON’T. KNOW. I feel like I should write this down so I can remember for when I read back on it, but I was NOT flirting with him. He looked 27-35 years old, he had greys in his hair and he wasn’t bad looking but he definitely isn’t the type of guy I’d even think about flirting with. I don’t flirt. Period. I can’t even hold a basic conversation let alone talk smoothly with a guy long enough to get his details (which is the purpose of flirting right?). Anyway the whole point of me writing this experience down was to kind of explain how unlucky I am with boys. I never get approached and when a situation remotely similar comes along in terms of a guy maybe seeming a little interested in me, it turns out that they think I’m nothing more than this ‘little Asian girl who seemed awkward when flirting’. Another thing that happened this week….so there’s this guy who use to work at Vodafone across from my work. A few months ago I stopped seeing him. I assumed he quit or maybe he transferred to a different store. He’s so cute. Cute in the way where he doesn’t really know how cute he is which makes him even more appealing to me. We always made eye contact back when he worked at my shopping centre and sometimes he even smiled at me. Often though I get so awkward when we make eye contact. For some reason my instinct is always to make it seem like I’m not interested in them (as in look at them fleetingly and without purpose) so that they don’t feel uncomfortable because damn in high school did I make some guys feel uneasy with how often I stared. Anyway, from that I don’t think he thinks I’m interested. I went to another shopping centre the other day and by coincidence I saw him working there. I caught him looking at me twice and even noticed him watching me as I left another store but not in a creepy way just in the way where I can tell he notices me. Today he came into my work, definitely by chance I think, and he was with a girl, maybe his girlfriend, maybe a friend or a cousin, I’ll never know. If I served him and it was just he and I alone maybe I’d be brave enough to ask for his name and mention how I saw him at work the other day but we weren’t and so I didn’t. Sometimes I think that life is too short and that maybe I should just go for it. Tell a stranger he’s cute if he is, ask for a guy’s number or casually start conversation with an attractive guy even though I’d be terribly awkward. I mean I’m never going to see them again right? But I actually can’t will myself to do it because then I’d just sit in my room replaying the conversation and ruminating about how embarrassing it was. Again, my point is (haha) that my luck with guys is pretty tragic. First of all he was with a girl who could have potentially been his girlfriend (damn all the good ones are always taken) and secondly he never approaches me despite the many opportunities he’s had to do so. I can’t blame him though, some of it was partly my fault since I most likely came across as disinterested and also maybe he just straight up wasn’t interested in me at all like that. I’m not gonna lie but the past week or so I guess a few more things have happened to me in regards to male interaction. Not very proud of this one (but it counts), but in Craigeburn a few days ago a middle-aged man on the phone looked intensely at me and smiled while I was with my best friend and said hello to me, or to us, I’m not sure. I kind of just gave him the side-eye, said hello really bluntly and walked away. I mean that doesn’t happen to too many people right so it’s flattering to say the least. Part of me also thinks that maybe my unluckiness with men has a lot to do with karma. I did rudely reject the security guard at my work who was just being (creepily) nice and then talked about him (in a not very nice way) with my coworkers which wasn’t fair to him. And then I rejected my coworker but to be fair he was low-key a dick. He only wanted something casual knowing FULLY WELL I was inexperienced and was mostly not ready for whatever he wanted, plus he talks about women so badly which caused me to lose a bit of respect for him. On top of that I did reject 6-7 tinder guys quite inconsiderately. Damn I feel like a bitch when I write all this down but look, I’ve never really had experience with guys liking me before let alone getting to a stage where I have to reject them and so I didn’t know how to go about it. Plus I felt like I wasn’t that special anyway and so they wouldn’t be that disappointed if I did. Well anyway, if it is karma, whoever’s out there I just want you to know that I’VE LEARNT MY LESSON and I’ve become more understanding and considerate from this. I don’t know, I feel like after writing this post I just seem unappreciative of the times boys have come my way and sooky when they haven’t. But (and I hope I’m not asking for too much when I say this) for once I’d like to know how it feels to actually be in a RELATIONSHIP (not just a fling) with someone who I really like. I know I’m still young but I can’t help but crave that puppy love that most people my age have already experienced, that (mostly) unfamiliar feeling of getting butterflies when talking to someone or kissing them, wanting to be in their arms, talking and laughing non-stop and after each date thinking “wow, I like you so much and I really got so lucky meeting you”. It’s so strange to type it out but I hold out this hope that maybe I’m different, that the reason why it’s taking so long or why fate has yet to put in my path someone who I could be in a long-term relationship with is because they’re waiting for the right time for when I’m secure with myself, happy and at peace with the thoughts that go on in my mind. I kind of have hope that maybe, whoever’s out there, is paving a path for me clear of all boys I could potentially be interested in because they know it’s not time yet and so when it is and I do meet someone who I fall deeply in love with, it would be perfect and everything will work out like how it’s meant to; like in the books. I also know that this isn’t super realistic and I’m not some special girl in romance novels in which fate is always on her side. I’m just an ordinary girl who’s not different from any other person in this world and so it’s all just a matter of chance and timing, and therefore it’s not all planned out. I’m almost done writing out this thought entry and half way through I’m thinking “WTF am I writing? Half of this doesn’t even make sense”. This is kind of a selfish post. In it I’m not gonna mention anything about bettering myself and finding a greater purpose outside of love and boys, its simply just a direct reflection in which, to sum up, I’m basically saying “I kind of want to be in a relationship right now and there’s nothing wrong with craving a little male attention”. I know what and how I should be thinking; that boys shouldn’t be the reason for your happiness, that you should create happiness within yourself because nobody can give you that but you. But sometimes I just have to be a little honest with myself, peel off all the layers that are trying to mask this feeling and straight up just acknowledge what I truly desire. And there’s nothing wrong with that because it’s not like it’s my main purpose in life and I trust myself enough to never ever let it become that. There’s no harm in wanting to be loved and craving it sometimes.

#love #relationships #fate

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