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waitmyturtles · 7 months

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THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 9 EDITION -- SEX, RELIEF, HYPOCRISY, AND A MEDITATION FOR THE HOES

There's a lot to dig into, so let's git it. This episode was more complicated than it actually seemed on the surface -- THANKS, TOP.

@lurkingshan and @respectthepetty came OUTTA the GATES as soon as yesterday's episode dropped, swinging their chanclas at the hypocrisies that larded this episode. Shan read almost every last one of these motherfuckers for filth in her post, naming Atom (there goes my NeoTitle dreams already) for unfairly shaming Boston; Ray, for clearly cheating on Mew; and Sand, for equivocating Ray to Boston -- all while Boston is actually still clearly communicating his preferences to not date, despite people all around him judging him for the sex he has. RTP Senpai points out that Sand is pissed off at Top for stealing Sand's ex-boyfriend -- but that Sand full well knows that while he's sleeping with Ray, Ray was technically still dating Mew. So -- is Sand stealing Mew's boyfriend from Ray? Why, oh yes he is, and Sand ain't holding himself accountable for it, Big Boba Kanaphan Eyes.

Hypocrisy. It was the name of the game of this episode. Or.... was it? It was actually way more complicated than that.

Atom in particular, just like -- where's my chappal -- but let me get back to him in a sec. As the hypocrisies were starting to click in, I saw something else going on in this episode, an opposite to the hypocrisy. I saw some clear revelations, and a learning and leaning into love through the inexperienced eyes of Mew, as compared to the painfully experienced eyes of Yo.

The episode started with Mew waking up at the hostel, unaware of Top's behaviors after Mew passed out at the Halloween party. (Top, by the way, was just -- CHEF'S KISS -- drippingly condescending, hypocritical, and sneaky this episode. Force just laid it awl out. What a performance. More on this in a bit.) Mew parties with Yo, who is like, the friend we need the MOST in this series, and asks her about whether or not he SHOULD like Ray. And Yo has to remind Mew to check himself before he wrecks himself over any sense of obligation he may have to Ray.

Yo's starting to help Mew's thoughts tickle away from obligation to a reality of his heart. At least -- one reality.

I thought of this scene when we went on the camping trip with Sand and Nick, and we had, I think, the best scene in all of Only Friends so far (cc @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan who were very, VERY right) -- in Sand and Nick clicking into their moment where they're both single, they both real cute, and why don't we see if something's there? Because that happens among friends, sometimes, and if you don't try, you won't know, right? Especially in a queer friend community that will almost always be smaller than a het community, making love that much harder to find. So you might dibble and dabble with your friends here and there.

And they smooched, and they laughed, and they were like, this doesn't work, and they laughed more, and moved on. And they were just so mad cool about it.

The way that this particular line of engagement ended with two pairs -- with Sand and Nick finding clarity, and Ray and Mew together at the social services office and communicating, to confirm that Ray and Mew just would not work together -- was a kind of relief that I haven't experienced in Only Friends yet. The slight lift I got from seeing these considerations and interactions reminded me of how I felt when the tide of trauma began to turn in Bed Friend, where the second act of that series was just trauma pummel after trauma pummel -- how much more could Uea take, I wondered. As we saw, in this episode of Only Friends, clarity roll through SandNick and RayMew, I felt relieved that there was some closure, somewhere, among some of these individuals who had tried, even ever so briefly, to pair up.

But -- this being Only Friends, heh -- it was not only relief that I felt in this episode, but we also still saw a lot of sticky toxicity and hypocritical judgements.

Atom couldn't just leave Boston ALONE. As ever, Boston has communicated to his hook-up that he's not a dating guy, not a relationship guy. And Atom doesn't take the hint.

I love that at this point in the series, at episode 9, we STILL have people judging one-night stands as "awful." What a stark reminder of the ways in which people use judgements against sex to forever condemn those who choose to engage in casual sex.

After episode 6, I wrote a little about the phenomenon of having "feelings" after sex. Many, many people have a biological urge (or even a socially expectant urge) to care/have feelings for for the person they have slept with, whether they had sex after a one-night stand, a friends-with-benefits arrangement, sex in a relationship, etc. Others, like Boston, don't.

Either of these phenomena are okay and utterly normal -- as long as you're accountable to yourself for your feelings, and not placing on anyone else any obligation to respond to those feelings that are only emanating from you, yourself.

In other words: even if Atom had "feelings" for Boston after sex -- what is Boston's responsibility to respond in kind to those feelings?

Boston had the right answer to Atom here. Boston says to Atom: no one (meaning, me, Boston) asked you to care for me. And I'm not here to hold that caring for you. I don't owe you that, Atom. That's not what's assumed when two people have sex as casually as we did.

Compare this to Nick's farewell monologue to Boston (right before Boston is about to have a hook-up, oh my god, Nick). Nick had a thing to say about his feelings ("I like you, Boston, and I am sorry for everything I did, and I am going to move on from you"), he said his piece, and he moved on.

At first, I was CRINGING at what was happening, because I thought Nick would make an embarrassingly grand and dramaaaaatic farewell, of a kind that I saw many of my drunk girlfriends make to their exes at bars when I was in my 20s, all with an intent of making their exes feel guilty for the break-ups that had previously happened.

But Nick, in that moment, actually owned his feelings, despite the timing of the conversation. And we saw Boston respond, ready to approach Nick -- and Nick had bounced and moved on with Daddy Dan, right then and there.

What a MIRROR of behavior between Atom ("Boston, you owe me") and Nick ("I thought about this, and I'm going to end it, for your happiness and for mine"). While Boston and his reputation still remain as a kind of bottom standard for people who want to feel superior when they compare themselves to him (ex: Top, Ray, Sand), Boston himself is direct about his feelings, or lack thereof, and Nick demonstrated that he himself has moved on from equivocating about a feeling of like/love that at least, he thinks, is not there anymore. (Which, from Boston's eyes -- we know now is not the case, as Boston continues to give hints of regret.)

I gotta tell y'all something. I was a party girl, like this group of friends, in my 20s. And I was heavily judged for being a ho. The terms slut, ho, whore -- were all used to describe my behavior in dripping judgement that I wasn't, instead, seeking safe and Puritanical monogamy. I was having fun with and in sex, and I was very heavily judged for it. Maybe, in part, it was because some of my friends had a harder time finding sex? Perhaps. But because sex is so EASY to judge, based on the majority popular judgements against sex -- isn't it easier to roll with the tide, than to think outside of the box and to not judge someone for having casual sex?

While Boston's ho reputation precedes him -- it is a reputation based on an unfair, almost Puritanical judgement against sex, and against people who have sex. (Once again: hello, Khai.) I give major applause to the hoes in this episode of Only Friends. All while people around them are judging sex, and judging people like Boston for having sex: Boston and Nick are not hiding anything -- they are not trying to equivocate away their actions. Their own timing isn't right. Nick knows he's about to go and hit that with a new dude. But they both have clarity about what's happening inside of them at their given moments, and they've become better about communicating what's happening inside of them over the course of the series. It's yet to be seen if the timing will work out for Boston and Nick -- but they're inching towards a clearer line of openness than we've seen in the past.

So. While awwwwlllll of this is going on: Top continues to try to infuse himself in Mew's life. Man. THIS GUY.

Top? Shut the hell up. Condescending foo. And then showing up to invite yourself to accompany Mew's moms? All while Mew doesn't know that you crossed his boundaries the last episode? And that you recorded Ray smooching Sand? Stooping to the very same tactics that got you, Top, caught? AND YOU CALLED A BOOTY CALL? While trying to win back Mew?

And...... amazingly. For Top, it worked. Or at least, it was working for a second. Mew was reconsidering.

To me -- in my opinion -- Top's behavior seems conniving, sniveling, more about winning than about love. But he also knows that he still has a hook in Mew, and was pulling rapidly on the fishing line.

And Mew... Mew began to follow that fishing line again, showing up to Top's building, and hopping into that elevator, with another person that Top had on his hook. And, good lord, now with Mond (MOND!) in the mix, we're going to have ANOTHER dramatic pile-up next week.

God, for me, while there were these notes of relief in this episode, these moments of clarity among people like Sand, Nick, and Boston, I just, like, wanted to tear MY HAIR OUT when I saw Mew and Boeing both approach Top's door at the same time. What the fuck will happen next.

And while Top will try to convince Mew to stay with him, surely, in episode 10 -- Top will also continue to judge Boston to Mew, I am sure. Top will judge Ray. Top will try to "heal" and "protect" and "take care" of Mew.

Top, leveraging judgement against sex by others to build up his own supposed moral and ethical fabric, "taking care" of Mew and leading Mew to think that Top is still a viable candidate for dating -- Cheum even interprets Top's behavior at the Halloween party as "taking care" of Mew -- will it come crumbling down as Boeing the Ex shows up for a little boing-boing?

Dudes, I have no idea, because Top keeps catching breaks! For people at The Top -- that's so often how it works in society, no?

Like I said: this was a hella complicated episode. We have three more to go. This episode captured in a snapshot a group of gloriously imperfect people making equivocating decisions as they bumble along, minute by minute. SandNick and RayMew got CLARITY. Boston got CLARITY on his feelings for Nick. Cheum is getting CLARITY on her association with the hostel. Atom got CLARITY on where Boston stood. I don't know that we have CLARITY on SandRay yet, but.... I dunno, I'll let the capitalists at GMMTV decide that, ha.

Where we don't have clarity is now with Top and Mew, with Top acting clearly duplicitously, and how Mew is going to manage this latest fall-out. I have no idea if Boeing will serve as competition to Mew, if Boeing will be the lug nut in the polycule we're all dying for -- I have no idea. I just know that Top -- who purports himself to be above all moral judgement, winning the hearts and minds of at least two moms from out of town, wtf -- will face yet another challenge in winning Mew's heart that he likely has a stronger chance of winning, due to his station in life. Top was about to come out on Top in this episode, and I wouldn't be surprised if he hangs on for another playoff win next week. We shall see.

I'm tagging the Ephemerality Squad in permanent fury over the permanence of people judging sex, let's go! @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @distant-screaming @thatgirl4815 (THATGIRL WITH THE THEORY THAT BOEING MAY NOT BE THE EX THAT TOP AND SAND SHARE, OH SHIT!) @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @wen-kexing-apologist @clara-maybe-ontheroad @kayatoasted

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boyslovesource · 11 months

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P' Phat, why are you here?

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wen-kexing-apologist · 11 months

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Hands in La Pluie Ep 7

Before I begin if you aren’t watching La Pluie, you should be, between the mature, adult sexual encounters and the way they handle soulmates, there are a lot of phenomenal subversions happening and it has been a beautiful thing to behold.

With that out of the way…

Last week I wrote about the hands in La Pluie Episode 6, so it should come as no surprise to you that I will be, yet again, writing about the hands in La Pluie. This time, I will only be focusing on that Patts and Tian scene because by God were hands flying.

(@magpie24601 I have not forgotten about your ask, but I will not be able to get around to answering until probably some time next week.)

To begin we start with Tai and Patts completely covered, no hands in sight, and a safe distance between them, not touching. Patts rolls over, awake cause he’s physically uncomfortable, his muscles sore but keeps his hands covered. He does not touch Tai, he does not try to cuddle with Tai, now that he’s shifted position. He respects and maintains the boundary Tai set earlier in their trip when he walked away from Patts attempts to be physically affectionate/intimate.

We don’t know if they had any conversations off-screen or not, but what we do know is that Patts may be stirring now too, but Tai is wide awake. Now, watching Tai’s face as Patts turns over in bed is intriguing to me, because I think that Tai is expecting Patts to initiate physical touch in this moment. Tai feels Patts stirring and is waiting for an arm to snake it’s way over this torso…which is why Tai turns to face Patts when Patts settles back down.

I’m thinking about vertical lines and how they can be used in visual mediums to indicate a boundary between two characters. Now, this one is a bit less obvious, but if you look between the thin trip of white, the gaps between the pillows, and the indent in the duvet, a line between Patts and Tai is formed.

But this boundary is completed by fabric, something that is easy to fold or manipulate. If Tai wanted to maintain this boundary between him and Patts, he could have stayed on his side, with his back to Patts and Patts would never have known Tai was awake. But instead, Tai turns to look at Patts and acknowledge the fact that they are both conscious. Patts sits up, and the bed sheet folds over, eliminating the boundary between them. He apologizes because he thinks his movements are why Tai is awake, but Tai tells him he can’t sleep. Tai offers no further explanation for why he can’t sleep, but based on what happens next, and based on Patt’s earlier physical affection and Tai’s response to it, I think Tai is hyper aware of the fact that Patts is laying right next to him.

Patts however, does offer an explanation, telling Tai that his muscles are sore from working. Something I take to be Patts telling Tai that he genuinely was shifting cause he was uncomfortable and not because he was trying to start any funny business with Tai. But Tai wants physical contact and so he is the one that has to offer it, in the form of a massage.

God, they are so fucking cute

And look! The boundary line is gone, Patts is resting his head in Tai’s lap and smiling like a doofus cause the only thought in his head is that Tai is really cute. Tai’s hands enter the scene, but Patts’ remain hidden, he is moving at Tai’s pace and therefore content to lay here, with Tai initiating contact.

Then we get a huge step for Tai, he bends down to kiss Patts. Now, in Episode 4 we see Tai be the one to start the kiss with Patts, but there he is drunk, and therefore not as in his head about what is happening. But sober Tai has been a lot more hesitant, Tai’s no blushing maiden, he’s just more uncertain about how to proceed when he’s in control of the thoughts in his head.

And Patts responds, sitting upright, verbally stating that Tai started this, and then going in for a kiss. Something that I have loved about all of Patts and Tai’s kisses so far is that when Patts is the one about to kiss, he brings himself close to Tai and then waits for Tai to meet him. He did it in Episode 6, Patts initiates that kiss by bringing his head slightly closer to Tai, and then Tai gets the message and responds. Tai starts the upside down kiss, but then Patts sits up, exposing his hands, and says “you teased me first,” goes in for a kiss and again waits for Tai to meet him.

When the camera moves away from the wide shot, we see Patts hand slide to Tai’s thigh, then to his waist. Patts is testing the waters to get a sense of where Tai is in this moment.

Gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

And Tai reciprocates Patts touch, starting at his arm and then sliding his way up in to Patts hair, and then his throat.

Now, remember where we were last week with Tai and touch. He sticks mostly to Patts’ back, his fingers are straight, he uses his palm, when they switch positions, Tai’s hand stays on Patts’ back or on the ground, we don’t see him play much with pressure or sensation. But our boy was taking notes or something cause this time he has radically altered his approach to touching Patts.

His other hand slides up to hook itself around Patts shoulder. Patts has through this point kept his hands relatively in the same position at Tai’s waist.

Patts applies pressure, pushing Tai, you can see his wrist bend from the effort of it, a suggestion to move closer.

Gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul (Side note: obsessed with Patts kissing Tai's nose)

The shirt comes off, and Tai has to let go of Patts, lifting his arms to allow Patts to strip him. But the enthusiasm is there, Tai is straight up having a good time, so those arms go right back where he wants them. He hooks his arm around Patts neck to steady himself and is finally able to respond to Patts’ physical request: move closer, by pulling himself in to Patts’ lap

And we get to see the aspects of their physicality that run inherent to their character:

Gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

This is the second time we have seen Tai in this position, and both times he has let his hands lay relaxed, fingers slightly curled at Patts’ back.

Gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

And this is the second time we see Patts' fingers curled, scratching down Tai’s back.

But we also begin to see where these two encounters differ. Tai slides his fingers back in to Pat’s hair.

And Patts?

I’m sure no one needed an excuse to go back and watch these scenes, but if you watch Episode 6’s make out session and then you watch Episode 7’s you will see the difference in how Patts approaches intensity. In Episode 6 when he is the person who started the kiss, he is always moving slow and being gentle with Tai. His hands are easy to follow, he scratches down the length of Tai’s back, he slowly pushes Tai’s shirt up. In the Episode 6 scene, Patts is proceeding with caution because while Tai has consented to this encounter, because Patts started it, he can’t be positive how much Tai is a) pushing a comfort zone, b) ready for, and c) willing to do during that encounter.

In Episode 7, while Patts starts out their make out in the same way, slowly, gently, cautiously, the knowledge that Tai was the person to initiate the intimacy and the continued enthusiasm from Tai makes Patts comfortable with ramping up the intensity.

Where before, in Episode 6, we could easily follow the path of Patts hands, now his movements are frenetic, jumping all over Tai’s body with no rhyme or reason, no set or anticipated path jumping from Tai’s back to Tai’s chest to Tai’s arm to his neck.

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

Now, last time these two made out Patts was already conveniently shirtless, but this time.

Patts starts taking off his shirt, and Tai wants these clothes off. Tai’s hands slide that shirt up and over, and then Tai’s hands go straight to Patt’s torso.

And then moves back up to Patts shoulder

Before doing another thing we have not seen Tai consciously do before…

…play with pressure. This man squeezes Patts’ shoulder like he’s trying to make orange juice from scratch, and then it is off to the fucking races for these two. They become a mess of hands and arms and elbows, and I literally have 80 screen shots in my La Pluie Episode 7 folder of just this makeout scene, and many of them are unusable in this essay because my fast key screenshot camera still can’t keep up with where their hands are.

This is mostly a side note, but I just find the framing of this shot and the shapes Patts and Tai’s bodies make to be beautiful. No, wait, I’ve got it! Look at the way their arms are. Now, @respectthepetty is the one who taught me to look out for dividing and connecting lines in shows, and well, teach, by golly I’ve got it.

Remember how in the beginning I mentioned the very subtle dividing line that is formed by the wall, pillow, and bed sheet?

Here we have a very subtle connecting line, the way Tai grabs Patts’ bicep creates a straight line that connects Tai and Patts together.

They are matching energy, Tai is gripping Patts like that because he is pulling Patts a little bit closer to him,

I love that we have an episode to episode comparison of their intimate moments because as I’ve already said, in Episode 6 Patts does everything slow and soft. When he pulls up Tai’s shirt he presses quick but soft kisses there. He moves up and down Tai’s body in a relatively straight line, not spending a lot of time/focus in one particular area of Tai’s body.

Gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Episode 7 though? Patts starts kissing hard and he starts focusing more on particular areas of Tai’s body. His lips, obviously, but as he goes to increase the intensity of his kisses, he moves down Tai’s neck and settles at his pecs. I know he would have stayed on Tai’s right pec for longer if Tai hadn’t pushed him away.

Camera zooms out a bit, and we see Tai breathless and looking at Patts. Tai started to feel himself slipping away in to bliss and realized that if this continued there was only one outcome. He knows he isn’t ready for it, so he interrupts the vibe to try to slow things down. Patts hasn’t quite caught up yet, so his hands slide down to Tai’s pants and start to tug. He wants to pick up where he left off last time. But again, Tai isn’t ready, and it speaks to the maturity of this relationship already that Tai is completely comfortable voicing that. Knowing that he is the one that initiated the intimacy. (That being said, to parallel Episode 6 and Episode 7 again, last episode Patts also started and stopped the intimacy.)

The change in their make out session between Episode 6 and Episode 7 shows that Tai wants to deepen their relationship, wants to take things with Patts to a different level, but he’s still unable to make himself trust Patts fully, to make himself believe in the soul mate theory fully. He spent years of his life refusing to speak to this man in front of him because he had become so disillusioned with the idea of soulmates after his parent’s divorce. As @lurkingshan said in her post “[Tai’s] brain, body, and heart are all pointing straight at Patts, but he’s afraid to trust it because Patts is tangled up with his confused feelings about this supposed destiny.”

So Tai tells Patts he isn’t ready, and Patts stops, and he is once again allowed to be frustrated. He doesn’t push, he doesn’t complain, you can mostly just see the disappointment and it truly is, in my mind, very sweet and precious that these two are already so comfortable with each other that Patts tries to cool down by resting his head on Tai’s chest and breathing.

And again, looking at the hands here, Tai is doing something incredibly similar with these soft gentle finger strokes across Patts’ neck as he did across Patts’ back when Patts stopped their make out session last episode.

“Can I help you, then?” Tai asks, knowing that Patts is horny, enthusiastic, and has been waiting seven years to meet a soulmate that refused to speak to him.

After denying Patts the simple pleasure of having someone out there to keep him company in the silence for two years, Tai wants to give pleasure to Patts.

And as much as Patts wants to give pleasure to Tai, and as much as Patts wants to prove to Tai that he is committed to Tai’s happiness, as obviously sexually frustrated as he has been in these last two moments of intimacy, he still checks in with Tai.

“Tai, are you sure about doing this?”

Patts has honestly been batting pretty close to a thousand in terms of getting enthusiastic consent before engaging in intimacy.

Gif from @pharawee

And Tai’s response is to pull Patts upward, to ground him in the moment with a hand to his hip, a point of connection which Patts reciprocates with his own touch, a gentle thumb brushing across Tai’s shoulder.

Gif from @pharawee

A gentle thumb brushing across Tai’s lips

And going back to what I mentioned before about the differences in Episode 6 and Episode 7, when Tai suggests he help, and when he starts untying Patts’ shorts, Patts once again reverts back to slow, and patient, and gentle. He has gotten consent from Tai, he has gotten confirmation from Tai, but it is not lost on him that Tai has just said that he wasn’t ready to receive pleasure, and Patts may be worrying that Tai feels like Patts is owed something because he did not consent to an escalation of intimacy.

And while yes, starting an intimate moment may just inherently start of slow, it is just a pattern I am noting about when and where Patts and Tai lose control of their desire and embrace it full force

And ultimately it works out, Tai finds pleasure in giving Patts pleasure even if he himself is not ready to receive it.

And Tai gets what he wanted out of this whole thing, which is Patts, cuddled up next to him, his arm draped across Tai’s side.

And I love that we end on this little moment of Tai stroking the top of Patts’ hand after pulling it closer to him.

I love this show and how it handles the ideas of romance and intimacy. We know from how devastated Tai was at his parent's divorce and from the Nora Roberts book that Tai is a romantic. And while some of this relationship with Patts has been able to carry those same romantic vibes, there have been a number of practical, realistic elements to their interactions as well: Patts and Tai discuss some of their needs from very early on, Patts meets some of Tai's family from very early on, Tien is already thinking of Patts as his brother in law, because unlike a typical burgeoning romance, whether or not they stay together they will be in each other's lives forever.

But the sex? That stays real. Tai initiates a kiss and then falls asleep and Patts stops, and Patts makes Tai feel comfortable with waking up in an unfamiliar place by letting him know that nothing uncouth happened. Patts initiates a more intense make out session with Tai and stops himself because he realizes that Tai is caught up in a moment and may not be ready, and Tai both enjoyed that moment with Patts and is embarassed about it afterward, Tai initiates what I think he intended to be his first sexual encounter with Patts, realizes that he isn't ready for what Patts wants to do and negotiates a solution that still allows them both to elevate their physical relationship.

(also tagging @bengiyo in this cause I cited his work)

#la pluie #la pluie the series #la pluie meta #patts x saengtai #phat x saengtai #phat x tai #title tanatorn #pee peerawich #its always about the hands #la pluie analysis

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odd-one-advocate · 6 months

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this is canon in my head

only friends text post part 10

check out: [part 9] [part 11]

#only friends text posts #ofts text post memes #bostonnick #neomark #neo trai #mark pakin #title tanatorn #nickboston #ofts #only friends the series

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gunsatthaphan · 11 months

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.=^.^=.

#la pluie #la pluie the series #patts x saengtai #la pluie ep7 #thai bl #bl drama #title tanatorn #Pee Peerawich #why are they so good at this lmao

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neuroticbookworm · 9 months

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La Pluie: Fuck Destiny, Communication is Key

I’m a full week late to the party because I was watching I Told Sunset About You last week and my mind just refused to focus on anything else. And now I’m finally here to write a send-off post to my beloved La Pluie, which gave me one of the most satisfying and interactive TV show experiences of my life.

I’ve been singing praises for this show’s writing for weeks now, and what better way for me to say goodbye to the show than by analyzing two immaculately written getting-back-together scenes from the finale?

Lomfon and Tien

When we last saw Lomfon in the penultimate episode, he apologized to Tai for kissing him in the rain and effectively kick-starting this whole mess. We also saw how he has worked through his feelings and understands that whatever he felt for Tai is not love; it was only rooted in Tai’s goodwill towards him, a few shared traits between him and Tai, and the fact that Tai saved his life by pushing him out of the way of a moving vehicle (a 15 second interaction, I will never get over this insanity). And Lomfon says that all this experimentation has made it clear to him where his heart actually lies.

And now, in the finale, Lomfon is working on the script for his “A Message from the Heart” project and seeking advice from Pingpong. We see that he fully understands how much he has hurt Tien with his actions. He tells Pingpong “I messed up so much that if I were him, I would never forgive myself”. Tien overhears them and confronts Lomfon, demanding to know if he’s messing with him. “Say it”, he shouts. But Lomfon does not respond, instead insisting that he will “show him with his actions”. And Tien walks away.

This is where I realized that this show is gonna really dig in its heels and fully emphasize how much open and honest communication matters in a relationship. Love can be expressed in so many different ways, and a person’s love language is definitely unique and significant to them. But when words are DEMANDED from you, you must respond with them. You cannot work around the painful and brutal honesty that is needed to form those thoughts, and the strength and bravery needed to stand in front of the person and utter those words.

That’s why Tien walks away from Lomfon when he insists that he will “show him” instead. And that’s why he leaves the room when Lomfon’s project video starts playing. Bear in mind, as far as Tien is concerned, Lomfon still likes his brother. Lomfon has not clarified or explained anything that would justify why Tien was on that presentation screen. So when he asks demands Lomfon, and Lomfon once again tells him that he showed his heart through his actions, Tien turns to walk away. It’s when he finally opens his mouth and starts verbalizing his desire, his fears, his confusion, and his guilt, Tien stops and listens. And when Lomfon asks him what Tien feels in his heart and if he still wants to follow it, Tien finally turns around and kisses him (I will be forever obsessed with the tippy toes).

gif by @liyazaki

I adore the fact that this show never outright rejects any form of expressing love. While Tien rejected actions from Lomfon before he made his intentions clear with words, we see that after Lomfon’s confession, Tien feels no qualms in resorting to a grand and sweeping gesture, like an intense kiss that definitely popped Lomfon’s foot (the foot pop is not purely a physical act, it is a state of mind, The Princess Diaries analogy is still right and valid, I will take no critiques).

Patts and Tai

The road to redemption for Tai is much longer and harder than it was for Lomfon, and the show fully leaned into it and showed us the weight of emotional turmoil Tai must endure to finally earn forgiveness from Patts. We see him have an epiphany about how his lack of communication with Patts mirrors his mom’s approach with him (@lurkingshan). We see him finally talk to Dream, who reiterates that Patts liked Tai before he knew that they were soulmates. And we see Tai take the leap of faith and catch a flight to Chiang Mai to find Patts. My love for this show grew to uncontrollable levels when it did not let Tai find Patts immediately.

He roams the streets, day after day, trying to find the love of his life. And when he comes back to his room every evening, exhausted and alone, he sits in the dark and contemplates how painfully lonely it feels to find and communicate with someone, when your efforts don’t seem to move the needle at all. And realizing this is exactly how Patts must’ve felt in the two years of silence Tai decided to put him through. He meets Art and Phueng, who teach him, yet again, just how important it is to talk and listen to each other in a relationship. And finally, on Day 4 of his quest, Tai runs into Patts on the streets of the local marketplace.

When Tai sees Patts, Patts looks like the mere husk of the man he once was. And Tai wastes no time and starts talking immediately, asking Patts to stay silent so this time, he can be the one who speaks out his love for him. Tai admits that he was stupid and selfish in their relationship. He says “Love is about two people. It does not need destiny to pave”. And he finally, finally says “I love you, Patts. I don’t care if it rains or not. I do love you no matter what happens”. And we see Patts wrap Tai into his body and promise to never let go of him again.

gif by @liyazaki

Now, I have to stop and give Title Tanatorn all the flowers in the world for his outstanding performance in this episode (and the show as a whole). He made me feel Tai’s soul-crushing pain and sadness, and also soothed my tender and bruised heart in the span of mere minutes. This scene was the culmination of Tai’s character development arc. He went from a guy who felt so jaded about love and relationships that he had been ghosting his soulmate for two whole years, to a guy who stood weeping in the middle of the road, pouring his heart out to Patts who only wanted Tai to love him back the way he loved him. And Title Tanatorn fucking nailed it.

And Pee Peerawich is no slouch either, as my boo @wen-kexing-apologist has already established, here. In the finale, he delivers a sublime, understated performance that does not take the spotlight away from Tai, while also perfectly reflecting Patts’ emotions on his face during Tai’s confession. These actors are so incredibly talented and did everything they can to augment the brilliant work of the writers of this show. Y’all have my attention, Tanachot Prapasri and Fuke Teerapat. I will diligently show up to watch your future works, even if it’s just your grocery lists dramatized into a TV show (shoutout to @so-much-yet-to-learn, who, when I voiced this statement, immediately and unironically piped up “Have you heard of this show called Ingredients?”. My BL buddies are hilarious as fuck and I will never be not impressed by the lengths Thai BLs would go to sell stuff to the masses).

Finally, I want to focus on a moment in the finale that kinda threw me off at first but, as the days passed, slowly grew into its significance. Dream tells Tai that Patts left with one last message: “I believe in soulmates. Saengtai is my soulmate”. Isn’t that.. weird? We know that Patts has openly stated before in this show that he wanted to defy destiny, and how his love for Tai is not just because he is his soulmate. For him to state this in the final episode seemed like an odd writing choice.

But, in the final voiceover, the show tells us (through Tai’s voice) that no one chooses to find an answer (to the hearing-loss-soulmate phenomenon) anymore. Instead, the people in this world are choosing to attribute whatever meaning they want to it. We have seen Patts say that Tai is his soulmate many times throughout this show, but he doesn’t mean it in its traditional sense; he means “I love Saengtai and I believe that I can’t live without him, which makes him my soulmate”. He paves his own way, and earnestly believes that Tai is his soulmate not just because they can hear each other when it rains, but because Tai understands and completes him and they find happiness in each other's company. In short: Fuck Destiny.

Since we were teased with a setup for a potential second season, I want to wrap up this post with a smattering of potential scenarios that have borrowed into my brain:

@bengiyo gleefully pointed out that when Lomfon suggests that he and Tien wait for another five minutes before going back into the classroom, so Tien won’t be forced to watch his embarrassingly sappy video, more than five minutes has already passed since they had walked out. Which means that Lomfon made a 10+ minutes long video of just Tien being cute and giggly and adorable. I love this over-the-top, madly-in-love Lomfon and I better get many, many more moments of him being pathetically sappy about Tien in the next season

I want the Patts-Saengnuea moment recreated beat by beat, including the sunglasses flip. If I don’t see Saengnuea on his tippy toes, menacingly lean into Lomfon’s ear and threaten him with bodily harm if he ever hurts his little brother, then what’s even the fucking point?

The comedic potential of Lomfon being forced to socialize with Patts, while he tries to make himself as small and unassuming as physically possible is a treasure trove and must be treated by the writers as such. The possibilities are endless. Warun and Saengchan would be menaces, trying to cook up situations that would force them together. Tai and Tien would act exasperated, while secretly enjoying the shenanigans. Gimme all of it.

My experience of watching this show is indelibly tied to all the wonderful metas I read here. The sense of community around this show’s discourse was incredible and a joy to be part of. Thank you to all the amazing humans who decided to be very not-chill and not-normal about this show: @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup, @ginnymoonbeam, @wen-kexing-apologist, @liyazaki, @respectthepetty, @syrena-del-mar, @chickenstrangers, @rocketturtle4, @williamrikers, @shouldiusemyname, @sunshinechay, @slayerkitty, @indigostarfire, @iguessitsjustme and I know I’m missing many more, sorry! And a special, with-cherries-on-top shoutout to @lurkingshan for putting the La Pluie meta roundup together, and encouraging people to participate in the discourse. Peace out, homies! And as always, FUCK DESTINY!