043021

12:02am

Been talking to someone I met thru bumble. Si E. We've talked for more than a month na pero recently sobrang busy to talk. I realized just now na baka sobrang tagal pa before kami magkita given the pandemic, the distance, and our schedules.

So far, masaya naman. I just dont want to get my hopes up ulit.

I'm not really stopping myself from feeling happy bc of this pero I just try every now and then to remind myself na this could be short lived like before. Or smth na wala namang patutunguhan. Idk. I wasnt exactly looking for a jowa naman when I downloaded bumble. I just try to protect nyself in a sense na I should be "ready"?? Just in case it doesnt go well.

Yun langgg. :)

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About dent, acad break now but a little overwhelming pa rin acads. HAY.

Btw I'm listening to BTS haha. Their songs are really good. Their members go well with each other. As in parang family sila. I've only recently known them. Siguro around May?? Before marelease yung Fake Love. Since then, while reviewing and staying up really late I listened to their songs. During school break I watched their appearances on variety shows, read twitter posts, watched vlive videos, bon voyage videos, even bts react to performances. I subscribed to bts+ sa vlive din. As in ang dami. It's crazy. I'm still on my break so ayun. BTS vids pa rin kaloka. My friend is also into them and their music so almost everyday we talk about BTS. Grabeeee

Anw, listen to their songs. Sobrang inspiring mostly. Yung iba nakakahype. Iba may angst. Hahaha palaban ganern. Tbh if you see their own videos, or vlive videos, ang insightful nila sa life. Sobraaaa. RM. Jin. Suga. Jhope. Jimin. V. Jungkook. Srsly silang lahat.

And sobrang artistic ng mvs mygoddddd watch spring day. Mafifeel mong miss ka nila kahit di ka nila kilala ihh grabe. Taehyung's Singularity????!?? Jusko kamay palang tapos na ang laban. Hahahahahahahha natakot ako dun sa vid initially tbh. Pero ang galing. Serendipity tsaka daydream???? Grabe yung color scheming ihh sobrang dami kong naaappreciate esp pag nababasa ko yung lyrics na translated haha (need pa translations coz i cant relate without it). Mic drop and ddaeng jusq ang savage. Boy in luv hahaha mej qt. Go go din esp with the heart event. Basta they're good. At least for me and for a few million people din. Wala lang. Hahahaha I felt like I needed to write it down. Para pag malungkot ako mababasa ko 'to tapos masaya na ako ulit (hahahahaha sana). Ayun. Good night na muna coz tulog is life. (char) btw penge tickets hahahah concert pls

Ps. Di ako konyo irl conversations lol (baka). Maarte ako esp pag tinatype kasi idk. I type as I think nalang. Na parang one-way conversation yung post na ito. (well, it actually is dibaaaa). Minsan wala na akong pake sa apostrophes hahahaha or idk, spelling??? May mga mali ba idk. Bye na. Umaga na.

Honestly, idk anymore.

1. Five years ago I wouldn't have thought that I'll be stanning a korean male group like everrrrrrrrr. Kasi my classmates used to be (or are still probably) like EWWWW KPOP. How racist can we (yup baka included ako tbh) get right? Like why hate against other people kasi ibang nationality nila? Or why make fun of someone kasi their interest is not your cup of tea? Okay baka may bias na ako kasi I'm into korean music na.* Pero I realized we can be more open about everything naman?? We can like anyone's music, or no music at all (pero srsly tho, no music??). I'm still not used to the "shipping" that other fans do. Mej parang bastos yun sa mga artists?? Idk tbh. I'm completely good with people loving anyone regardless of anything. Ayoko lang na other Fans™ make fanfics for fun daw (pero baka to satisfy their desires lang din) kasi parang for me form of harassment yun?? Idk tbh.

*surely we've matured from 5 years ago. I'll elaborate this later

2. Everytime I get several calls from my aunt asking me abt my whereabouts, or asking me to go to my lola's, or asking me to go home even when I just literally left 2 hrs ago, I feel like I am being watched. Hahaha ang oa pero idkkk. Daming bawal kasi hahaha. They're treating me like I'm 10. When I'm already 32. Jk. I sound like a baby trying to sound like an adult wuw. What am I really. Idk tbhhh

I'm beyond grateful for their support ahhhh. God knows. Pero ayun feeling independent ako kaya gusto ko mag isa.

3. I'm spending so much bc of health issues wewwwww. Nakaka asar lang hahaha

4. Pagod na me for the day. Coz after ko nagkasakit (and nagpacheck up and meds) nagmall ako. Pero ok na meee.