Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

| angst has been coming to me easy now and idk how to feel about that.

| tw; character death, in depth talk of death, mentions of blood and other gruesome parts, season three spoilers.

| word count; 1.8k.

It was all over, spreading like a plague inside the walls upon their arrival. The victory of Wall Maria, along with the near extinction of the Scouts. How many supplies were lost during it? How much destruction was there while it all went down? Does anyone have a true number on how many bodies were being carried back on those flatbed carts after that expedition? 

They were mostly parts of bloodied and mangled things, some weren't even able to be called a body. More like a massive piles of mixed dirt, debris and whatever part of the human body there could be. One hundred and ninety nine people, turned into one enormous jigsaw puzzle that anyone has ever seen. How many carts were used for that, and which cart did this specific body rest upon? 

This body held the features of bright blue eyes, that the captain of the Scouts could sometimes find himself staring into for hours on end. Unknowingly at that. Blonde hair just swept back and kept so neat with its undercut. Sometimes Levi wonders if it was soft to the touch, it doesn't look to be hard, or dirty. Just right, minus those brows. If anything there were times where Levi wanted to trim the blonde bricks of hair off Erwin's face himself. 

Now, days like that will never come. For the sole purpose, of Erwin Smith being deceased. Giving his life up to his stupid cause and dream, this isn't what Levi meant by plundering your dream and lead those crying brats to hell. Was it selfish of him to think that Erwin might come back alive for him? It was, wasn't it? The man having to live through this shit as the leader, making gambles that no one knew how the hell they paid off. Let's not forget about the cadets and soldiers lost along the way in his gambles. A devil among men, though it was Levi wanting to be the one to raise hell right now. Bring a darker hell to the one on this very Earth for the fact that he chose to revive Armin instead of Humanity's Hope. 

Cold, and hardened steel grey hues watched as his body was pulled away, riding alongside on his own horse with this cart. Levi felt only himself at fault, what if he did revive Erwin? Despite the small specks of rocks, falling out and shredded intestines, and lack of life in the blonde's eyes, how would he look taking on the power of the colossal titan? Would he have looked the same as the treacherous Bertholdt, or better? If anything, he'd be alive right now. . .fighting a war once more in this hell. Yes, it was selfish, but Levi Ackerman had his reasons to be selfish in a time like this. Bringing back Erwin instead of Armin wasn't just going to be for humanity, it was also going to be for his own desires. To stop toying with the feelings the ravenette has for the blonde, to stop the daily lies about his ' small crush ' being just a phase. 

The captain never even got to make good on his promise before the commander passed. Wanting so hard and bad to end the Beast Titan, to make him feel the pain Erwin did before his final moments. Hopefully that chance comes back for him some other time. How badly Levi needs it, it'd only be fitting since Erwin gave up his dream for the wall retake to even have happened and succeed. 

For all Levi could do now, was regret and hope that Erwin's funeral would bring him into a small state of piece. Since the ex-commander was already in a permanent state of his own, never to be disturbed. The Ackerman slowly starts to wonder to himself, which kind of suit would really bring out a dead man's eyes? For blue, it had to be a subtle white, right? An ashen grey? Whatever color it was going to be, Levi knew he'd detest it. Knowing it'll be the final suit he sees Erwin in. 

Fast forward a bit to the lowering of the old Scouts' commander into the ground, Levi stayed behind a little ways after the ceremony. Standing before Erwin's grave, a short sigh leaving him as he placed a hand on Erwin's tombstone. 

Erwin Smith 

xxxx - xxxx 

Humanity's Beacon of Hope.

The words Levi read over, and over, and over again. Humanity's Hope, snuffed out a little ways too soon. Levi just had to wake up and face the music, it was bound to happen one day or another. He just wishes that day came a little later than this. Brushing his hand over the words, better now to say this before he keeps it inside for too long. He already regrets not saying this to him when he was alive. 

" How many of these have we attended for our fallen? Now look at you, dumbass. Right there with them, tell Petra I said hi when you see her. " 

His last chance to say this all know, because whatever God out there knows that Levi wouldn't visit Erwin's grave again after this. For the small grudge he'd hold against himself for using the syringe on Armin. 

" I followed you into the fire, made it out with a few scrapes. Though you were burned, still had the guts to carry on more bravely than me. . .even make a choice with that odd line. ' What if there is humanity outside the walls. ' Or some shit like that, and then I realized, and knew. . .that was how you were plundering your dreams and leading those crying brats to hell. " 

Unbeknownst to the captain, he wasn't alone. Just standing from afar, was another grieving heart. Armin Artlet, another soul wanting to say an unspoken peace to their old commander. But ended up seeing Levi there before him. 

" It's not fair you know, Erwin. Or that just might be me being selfish right now, yeah sounds like it. A biased opinion, since I fucking loved you and didn't have the guts to say it. Wanna know why? Cause I'm a coward. Since people I love keep leaving me in ways like this, death. Am I that detestable that death is the only way out? Gotta be, shitty way to go if you ask me, but probably your only way. Call it a curse, I guess. Sadly shit like this happens in the fucked world. I didn't even want to use it on Artlet, but you made your choice. So I had to make mine, fucking bastard. " 

Now that was a surprise to the little eavesdropper in the back, covering his mouth with his hand to not make a sound. Azure eyes bugging out of his head as the captain droned on. Armin himself wasn't even sure why he was saved, wouldn't Erwin have been a better pick? The power of the titan wasted on him, that's how it sounded. On the bright side, the colossal titan was in their arsenal with Eren's titan. Just with the wrong user in Artlet's mind. 

" It's not fair, you asshole. You get your peace, and leave me behind in this hell with a bunch of brats! Yes, they can pull their own weight. But you're not leading them anymore, instead it's gonna be someone else who can't live up to your name. All because I got emotional and saved that runt, when I knew, even with Hanji, that you were the better pick! A massive fuck up on my end, but then a small lived victory right? We have another titan ready to fight for us when needed. But I want you here! It's not fair, you trusted me to do the right thing with that weird liquid, and I don't know if I did! I promised myself that I'd follow you wherever, why did you have to go somewhere I can't go yet?! You and your stupid gambles, well make one with the devil down there and win, come back goddamn it! " 

At this point, Levi was screaming to a grave on the verge of tears. From standing to dropping on his knees, the turned up dirt from a freshly dug hole in the ground was staining his pants. Giving him the feelings of touching the underground floors, though this time he didn't care. Fighting back an attack of tears, his hands digging into the soil and gripping it. Dirt being trapped in his fingernails, a fierce look on his face with a few stray falling tears from his eyes. 

" I promise you, I'll make that sonva bitch pay. Along with aiding in to see that your final goal, your final dream is fulfilled. Even if I have to  die to make that happen. " 

It was a footstep, and the use of sharp senses that brought Levi out of his moment. Spinning around quick as could be, just to be met with a crying, tear stained face of one of his cadets. This was Levi's moment of vulnerability, being seen by Armin as if privacy wasn't a thing. Though now, the man couldn't hold it against the boy, dusting off himself to be free of the dirt and grime. Levi sent Armin a small glare, no words have been spoken yet, and not one really knew what to say. 

" Captain . . . I'm sorry, but you should have us--. " 

" Can it brat, I dunno how much you heard, and I hate repeating myself. But I'll make an exception, Erwin made his choice. I acted on it, now you might have to step up to bat. " 

Levi's words drew a small gasp from Armin, making him want to roll his eyes. 

" No one can live up to be Erwin, but I trust that you know what you're doing. Don't make me regret saving you now. " 

" Y-Yes sir! But can I ask a question? " 

That made a brow raise on Levi's face, a sign for Armin to carry on with what he was saying. The boy had to take a deep breath to even get the first word out. It almost made Levi scoff at a time like this. 

" Y-You l-love Commander Erwin, sir? Is-Is that true? " 

The stuttering fool really had the balls to ask. The captain almost looked impressed, but at the same time angered somewhat. 

" Yeah, I loved him, Artlet. A main factor playing on in why I wanted to use the syringe on him. But something happened during it, like I said. Don't make me regret it. " 

All he got was a frantic nod from the other blonde, even a salute for some reason. Levi responded with his own nod back, figuring now that his time alone with Erwin was up. Looking behind him at that grave, he sighed, his eyes narrowing somewhat. 

' Don't worry, Erwin. You won't be along for long, I said I'd follow you right? Into that same fire I'll soon be going. ' 

He whispered out, making his way to leave now. Going as far as to pat a startled Armin on the shoulder. His own line echoing inside his head to help cope with this, just tweaked a bit this time. 

' Plunder all your dreams, and lead those crying brats to victory. In his name. ' 

Summary: Chris parts ways with his job, Lucy meets the new resource officer.

Word count: 1,515

Warnings: language, mention of pre meditated self harm, angst

Tag List: @southernbell91 @book-dragon-13 @marvelgirl7 @jobean12-blog @anxiousamandapanda @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety (if you would like to be added or removed from the tag list let me know)

It was Friday, the day of the goodbye rally the school had insisted on holding for Chris. He understood their reasoning, but it wasn't his thing. He gave his speech, thanking the schools staff and students for a wonderful four years, his eyes scanning the gymnasium for any sign of Lucy and frowning when he couldn't find her. He made his way back to his office to begin packing up and his eyes trailed over the shelves of the bookcase. It was filled with gifts from students, drawings some of the more artistic kids had given him, and a few knick knacks hed purchased to make his office a little less drab. He placed the items one by one into a box, the last thing he reached for being the completed Rubix cube. He picked it up and held it in his hand, thinking about all of the times Lucy had spent in his office. A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts and he turned to see Erin, the new resource officer, standing there.

"Come in, I was just finishing up. Make yourself comfortable and I'll give you the run down."

Erin smiled and took a seat behind the desk, looking it over. Chris told her about her new duties: attending the ROTC meetings on Wednesdays, the yearly safety course, and the typical day to day handling the problem kids. 

"Any particular ones I should know about?" 

"They're all good kids, really, but there's a few you'll probably see more than others. Jason's  abit of a bully. Spoiled quarterback, thinks everyone owes him something, you just gotta watch out for how he treats the smaller kids, tends to push them around. Neveah has an attitude, she tends to mouth off a lot to the teachers and skips class. We caught her vaping in the bathroom earlier this year." He paused, realizing that he was still holding the Rubix cube "Then there's Lucy…you'll see her the most, I hope."

"You hope?" Erin's eyebrows rose

"She's..different. Incredibly smart, but stubborn as hell. She wants something she's gonna make sure she gets it and same with if she doesn't. She's going to do what she wants regardless, and there's a definite disregard for authority. The kids got a hard life, I think she's just watching out for herself until she can get out of here."

"Sounds like someone else I know." Erin chuckled with a wink to Chris 

"Yeah" Chris laughed, rubbing the back of his neck "She spent a lot of time in here and I hope she continues to come when she needs to. If you don't mind, I want to leave the chair for her. She's pretty pissed at me right now." 

Chris pointed to the white saucer chair that Lucy preferred. 

"I don't mind at all, whatever helps." 

Chris and Erin talked for a bit more, a little more about Lucy and mostly about the technical aspects of the job. Lockdown drills, bag checks, when to use force on a student. Most things Erin knew from her training, but Chris had some tips anyway. 

"I should get going. I need to get set up at the elementary school and have a meeting with the staff. Good luck, Erin."

Erin stood and gave Chris a hug before closing the door behind him as he left with his box. She looked around the bare office, already planning what to add to it to brighten it up. 

Chris placed his box down on the bench in the front office and asked the secretary to page Lucy to the front. She didn't come to the rally, which didn't surprise him, but he couldn't leave without a proper goodbye. Lucy appeared in the office doorway and rolled her eyes when she saw Chris waiting for her. She turned to leave but Chris followed her, calling after her to stop. 

"Lucy, wait. Don't do this." 

"What do you want, Officer." 

Chris sighed. She called him "Officer" when she was mad. Not just mad at the world, but mad at him, personally. 

"I wanted to check on you. You ok?"

"I'm fine." Lucy crossed her arms. Looking at him sternly 

"You sure?"

"Aren't you leaving? Why do you care if I'm okay or not?" 

"I care, you kn-"

"If you cared you wouldn't leave."

"You know it isn't that easy" 

"Right, because you have yourself to look after, yeah? Being here doesn't work for you anymore so fuck everyone who needs you.".

Chris frowned, guilt rising. 

"The new officer, she knows what to do. Shes good, funny. The kids are going to love her. You'll love her."

"I don't want to."

"Give her a chance, Luce."

"Why? So she can leave me too?" 

Chris went to reply but Lucy flipped him off and stormed back to class. He sighed, turning back to the office and was greeted with a look from the secretary.  He shrugged before he grabbed the box and left, getting in his car and making his way to his new job. 

--

Erin made her way around the building, becoming familiar with the layout and introducing herself to anyone she came across. Some of the kids seemed a bit intimidated by the presence of a new cop but Erin's warm smile and the few jokes she cracked eased their minds a little. She was making her way up the tenth grade hallway when she heard a commotion coming from the girls bathroom. 

"Oh my god!"

"Should we get a teacher?"

"GET THE FUCK OUT"

Erin stepped into the bathroom and surveyed the scene. A group of girls were surrounding the handicap stall, whispering quietly. 

"I swear to God get the fuck out or I'll stab you all."

"Okay girls, let's go, back to class." 

The girls jumped and hurried out of the room, leaving Erin to peer into the stall. Sitting  against the wall was another girl dressed in ripped jeans and an oversized hoodie, the hood pulled over her face. In her hand was a pair of scissors and Erin froze, quickly assessing the situation. 

"What's going on here?"

"Go the hell away."

Erin knelt down and took a closer look at the girl. She could see streaks of tears on her cheeks and bloodshot eyes. 

"Here, let me have those and let's talk. What's your name?" Erin asked softly, reaching for the scissors 

The girl jerked away from Erin and glared up at her with anger filled eyes. 

"Leave."

"I can't do that."

"Sure you can. That's what everyone always does. They leave."

"I'm not going anywhere." Erin sat next to the girl to prove her point, waving away another student who had come in "We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The hard way is for me to take this as a threat either to yourself or others and forceably remove the scissors and you from the property, or you could just hand them over and we can talk about what's going on." 

Erin waited to see what choice she'd make and let out a sigh of relief when the scissors were dropped. 

"What's your name?" Erin asked as she pushed the scissors out of reach

"Lucy." 

"I'm Erin. I've heard a lot about you, Lucy."

"Yeah I'm sure you have."

"What are you doing in here?"

"Nothing."

"You had scissors. Why?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I do. I'm curious, what were you planning on doing with them?"

"Nothing." 

Chris had said that Lucy wasn't a talker. It took him a long time to get her to say more than a word to him. Erin didn't give up though. 

"Were you going to hurt yourself?" 

"Maybe."

"Why?"

Lucy shrugged. 

"Would you feel more comfortable talking to the counselor?"

"Hell no." 

"Another adult, then? A favorite teacher maybe?"

"Don't have a favorite teacher. They hate me."

"I'm sure that isn't true."

"Everyone hates me." 

"There has to be someone.."

"Chris."

Erin blinked, surprised. 

"Lucy, Chris isn't here. He's go-"

"Gone.  He left. I know."

"Is..is that why you're upset? Were you two close?"

"What? No! I couldn't stand him."

"Uhhuh...I see." Erin smiled softly, knowing what was going on "He thought very fondly of you, though."

Lucy looked over at Erin, a bit taken aback. 

"He did?" 

"He went on about how smart you are, how you had opinions and creative thoughts."

Lucy just shrugged and looked away, more tears forming. 

"You miss him, don't you?"

"No." Lucy grumbled, wiping the tears away angrily 

"It's okay to feel sad, Lucy."

"I'm not sad. I don't get sad. Im angry."

"Angry about what?"

"Everything.  Myself. He left because of me, I know he did. It's my fault all these kids lost him, and maybe...maybe if I was gone, he'd come back."

"Lucy, honey, Chris didn't leave because of you. He needed a better schedule, the elementary school gets out an hour and a half earlier than the high school. Ge has classes to attend at night. This has nothing to do with you."

"Wait"  Lucy's eyes widened "He went to the elementary school?"

"Yes...he-"

"My sister goes there." 

Nancy & Ava

Nancy: okay, so now the Seychelles makes even more sense... Nancy: you could've told me, you know Ava: ? Ava: Expand, please Nancy: I'm just saying, like, whatever relationship drama you were going through at the time Ava: I wasn't in a relationship when we were in the Seychelles though Nancy: exactly Nancy: so I'm glad you sorted it out with whoever you were obviously missing Ava: Well, thanks Ava: it wasn't as simple as that though really Ava: isn't, whatever Nancy: it rarely is Nancy: do you want to talk about it now, it's not suddenly too late or anything Ava: Yeah, okay Ava: now's as good a time as any for me Ava: if you've got the time Nancy: I do Ava: Alright Ava: so it's not a straightforward, conventional kind of deal Ava: there's multiple factors that make it, hmm Ava: not problematic for me but problematic in being open about it, telling certain people especially Nancy: I'm listening & trying not to be a judgey bitch Nancy: how unconventional are we talking about? Ava: He's not in prison or in a cult or anything before you get carried away with possibilities Nancy: That's a good start, he's not a teacher either is he, because you know, for obvious reasons I can't support that Ava: As if Ava: If you saw my teachers, you wouldn't ask that Nancy: I will have, they can't all have retired or died since I was there Ava: Do you remember Buster was friends with a boy called James? Nancy: Yeah Nancy: he has a brother your age-ish, right? is that who you're dating? Ava: No Nancy: What about James then? Nancy: Why do I need to remember him? Ava: Nancy Ava: come on Nancy: No, you come on, that's not funny, Av Ava: I'm not joking Ava: that would be such a strange angle to take Nancy: he's married to...he's married Ava: They're getting a divorce Ava: it isn't out there yet but it's happening Nancy: because of you!? Oh my god Ava: No, not because of me Ava: their relationship was a mess, she's awful Nancy: No shit, Ava! Nancy: why would you do this? how could you even, like...I know Chelsea is cliquey but Jesus Christ, where would you even find him? Ava: At King's open day Ava: I did some summer courses, he was there too Nancy: does she know about you? Ava: She's gone Ava: to her parent's villa or something Nancy: okay, good Nancy: she can't find out Ava: Well she's going to Nancy: No Ava: Um, yeah Ava: I highly doubt she's deleting her socials any time soon Nancy: you need to be serious Ava: I am Ava: you mean I need to be scared of her Ava: I'm not and I'm not going to be Nancy: I don't know what you expect me to say Ava: Then don't say anything Ava: you asked Nancy: I can't just Ava: I'm already planning to tell mum and dad today so you don't need to do anything Nancy: I want to do something though Ava: Are you really going to tell them before I get a chance? Ava: Tell Buster as well if you fancy it then Nancy: That's not what I mean, I want to help you Nancy: it's going to be so bad when she finds out Nancy: Forget mum & dad for a second, forget Buster Ava: No it won't Ava: what's she gonna do Ava: it's her marriage over, her kids she doesn't wanna see Ava: she's got bigger issues Nancy: she made my life hell every day for 5 years & I didn't even do anything to her, she's clearly got issues Ava: Yeah well that's not gonna happen to me Ava: she's made James' life hell for 6 years Nancy: how many kids do they have? Ava: Two Ava: the one she had back then and a baby, about a year Nancy: a year... Nancy: she's not just going away then, is she? Ava: Yeah, she must've been trying to have a fixer baby Ava: it had fallen apart before then Nancy: Gross, I can't think about that Ava: Now who's not being serious Nancy: I'm serious, I can't Ava: Who's asking you to Ava: just drop it Nancy: okay Nancy: I just mean, his life, I can't imagine what's happened and what it must have been like for all those years Ava: You can't Ava: no one can Nancy: you said you met him at that open day, it hasn't been that long, can you? Ava: I didn't say I could Nancy: I'm just trying to process this Nancy: how serious you two are Ava: It's not really a situation to dip into casually Ava: not fun from my perspective or fair on his side Nancy: Obviously not Ava: There you go then Nancy: I'm doing my best here Nancy: to me, James, how I remember him, it's weird Ava: That's nearly a decade ago though Ava: of course he's changed Nancy: yeah, we all have Ava: Exactly Nancy: except her by the sounds of it, unless it's for worse Ava: I think so Ava: she's actually ill, I think Ava: but what can you do? you can't force someone to get better Nancy: how long has she been gone? Ava: Only a couple of weeks Ava: but she didn't tell James she was going, and hasn't been in contact at all since Ava: just with her parents when they threaten to fly out, basically Nancy: she didn't take the kids with her? Ava: Nope Ava: she's said she doesn't love them, didn't want them Ava: and I've not heard or seen anything to the contrary Nancy: Wow Ava: I know Nancy: Like, I know she was young when she had the first one but she wasn't that young Nancy: she had choices, not like Nan or something Ava: Choice is just a matter of perception Ava: she clearly didn't think so Nancy: Mum & dad are going to go ballistic, you know that, yeah? Ava: Undoubtedly Ava: there's nothing they can do though Nancy: except make it harder for you than it's already going to be Ava: That would require being here Ava: which they're not going to do Nancy: Dad might Nancy: if he's angry enough Ava: For how long Ava: he'll get bored Nancy: you can come & stay if you need to Ava: I have school soon so Nancy: I know, but I'm making the offer anyway Ava: Thanks Ava: but I'm good Nancy: I'm not good at this, I know that, but I care about you, okay? Ava: Then why do you want me to leave Nancy: all I want is for you to have somewhere to go if you need it Nancy: no, more than one somewhere actually, as many as possible Ava: I don't want to go anywhere Ava: I want to be here Nancy: I'm not dragging you onto a plane Ava: If I have problems, I deal with them Nancy: okay Ava: Okay? Ava: Good Nancy: I don't appreciate the drag but we're not going to fight about it now Ava: Sure, another time Nancy: yeah Ava: Yeah, well done, Nance Ava: later Nancy: Ava, come on Ava: You've got to be kidding me Nancy: don't do this Ava: No, you don't Ava: don't offer your faux support, it's worse than you not being there Nancy: I'm genuinely trying Ava: Then just don't Ava: I don't need it Nancy: what do you need? Ava: Honestly, just go Ava: and don't tell anyone before I do Nancy: I wouldn't do that, it's not about me Nancy: you have to tell them Ava: I know, I'm going to Ava: I have places to be right now though Nancy: can we just not leave it like this though Ava: Fine Ava: thank you for trying Nancy: whatever I did wrong, I'm sorry, you know Ava: If you don't know, it means nothing to me Nancy: you're gonna have to tell me, one day, when you don't have places to be or whatever else Ava: No, that's the thing Ava: I don't have to Nancy: you don't want to, you mean Nancy: cos I don't understand I can't just figure it out Ava: Why would I want to? Ava: It doesn't affect me Nancy: fine, forget it Ava: Sounds good Nancy: Yeah well, I won't keep you any longer then Ava: Uhuh put the blame on me Nancy: oh my god Nancy: you either want to forget this or you don't Ava: I want you to not victimize yourself every five seconds Nancy: yeah? I'd love not to Ava: Bullshit Ava: if you aren't complaining you have nothing to talk about Nancy: that's really constructive criticism, thanks, like Ava: You can't help yourself can you, Christ Nancy: No, my life's mostly a mess & clearly nothing I'm doing is helping Ava: So just fucking think, will you Ava: nothing I said indicated I would want to leave Nancy: I'm not telling you to leave, I'm telling you I'm here Nancy: because I can't come back Nancy: but that doesn't mean I'm not here Ava: Well it does Ava: You haven't been here period so let's not act like that's revelatory to either of us Nancy: I don't need to be in Chelsea to be supportive Ava: Anything you have to say, any advice, is so far removed from my reality Ava: you don't know me, it's insulting Ava: you don't get to offer support and then be offended when it's not wanted or needed Nancy: I'm not offended, upset for sure, but that's because you're right Nancy: I don't know you, so what? Now I just never get to know you ever? That's upsetting Ava: You don't get to dole out advice or act the big sister Ava: especially when that's the last thing I would want Nancy: okay, I'm sorry Nancy: I shouldn't have reacted how I have for basically this entire conversation, but it was a lot Ava: It's fine Ava: it just proves how little you've changed Ava: your first reaction will always be to run and hide and I don't need that in my life Nancy: I had to leave, Ava Nancy: I wouldn't be in your life at all right now if I hadn't done that Ava: You did what you had to for you Ava: it doesn't change that it happened Ava: doesn't mean we can force a relationship now 'cos it weren't your fault Ava: that time's gone Nancy: it's not gone for me Nancy: it affects everything Ava: and I'm sorry for you Nancy: yeah, I know Ava: I can't be expected to fix that for you, no one can Nancy: I know that too Ava: There's nothing more to say Ava: we both got fucked over Ava: it is what it is Nancy: there's just one more thing I wanna say, even though you don't want or need my advice, don't let her ruin anything, whether she comes back or it's just the damage she's already done to that poor fucking lad, like Ava: I can't control her Ava: I can just be there for him now Nancy: Yeah, don't let anyone stop you then Ava: I won't Nancy: Good Nancy: I hope you're both happy, I mean that Ava: Thanks Ava: that's the goal Nancy: It's all mum & dad actually want, they'll calm down eventually Nancy: Buster too, he's a lot calmer these days Ava: They'll have to Ava: he's not doing anything wrong Nancy: it's not me you need to convince Ava: I should probably go do that then Nancy: Right, why waste time Ava: All good fun Nancy: C'est la vie Nancy: if there's a NYC equivalent of that I can't remember it Ava: even New Yorkers don't have culture Ava: still American Nancy: Gays are the only ones who have culture Ava: Bold statement to make about plaid and dysfunction but okay Nancy: what else have I got? might as well Ava: Sure Nancy: she didn't manage to straighten me out even if she took everything else Ava: Any small victory Nancy: Go then, you're shamelessly stalling now Ava: I'm walking Ava: going to the park, I told you I had things to do Nancy: try not to get run over again please Ava: 🙄 Ava: that's nice isn't it Nancy: I'm serious, I was worried Ava: James came and looked after me Nancy: I'm glad, it's shit being alone when things like that happen Ava: They wouldn't have been able to discharge me so yeah Ava: it was good Nancy: he always did seem like less of a prick than the rest Ava: A glowing review Ava: almost sounded like a compliment Nancy: he never joined in with any of it, so yeah, I guess it is Ava: He's a nice person now, that's all I know Nancy: that's all that matters now anyway Ava: Yeah but I'm glad he didn't Ava: obviously Nancy: I wouldn't let him near you if he had, whatever you say or however many flights I'd have to get to keep you apart Ava: Okay, drama queen Nancy: shut up, that one's not my fault, actually genetic Ava: 😂 True Nancy: dad's such a 👑, good lord Nancy: I wonder if they met James when he was friends with Buster Nancy: probably not Ava: He says he doesn't really remember them but I remember Buster's friends being around so Ava: guess saying thank you when you run out the front door isn't really meeting Nancy: Yeah, they always were Nancy: but like you said, mum & dad really aren't so Ava: they were more back then Ava: when I was little Nancy: Sure, they aren't going to rival James' wife in the parenting stakes Ava: It's not even funny Nancy: she never has been Nancy: how she ever thought I could fancy her when she's not no sense of humour Ava: Maybe she is gay Ava: something's making her seriously unhappy and fucked Nancy: She was definitely into Buster too though, I remember that from way before I left Ava: I think she slept with everyone, like Nancy: not him though, his 😍 for Ri were in place before we moved from Cambs Ava: Yeah but I mean, she obvs didn't know that Ava: 'til everyone did Nancy: that whole group were always swapping, it was so gross & weird Nancy: but I was the weird one, okay bitch Ava: Yeah Ava: lots of people still roll like that Nancy: there's a whole gay scene here that's entirely that Ava: A box is a box wherever it is Ava: even if you roll it in glitter and call it culture 🤷 Nancy: & lesbians are ridiculous wherever you find them Ava: we'll leave that at a self-drag Ava: I'm not getting involved Nancy: I'm just saying, I don't wanna be friends with someone who broke my heart, why does that make me weird? Ava: Who's broke your heart this week then Nancy: Unlike you, I was heartbroken in the Seychelles Ava: Duh, you wouldn't have come otherwise Ava: so go on, what happened Nancy: you've pointed out enough of my flaws for one conversation, cheers Nancy: I'm not dissecting my breakup with you Ava: I am busy so ⌚ Nancy: goodbye then Ava: 😂 Ava: I'm not dying Ava: laters Nancy: until you get run over again, yeah? Nancy: seriously, stop walking & annoying me, like Nancy: it's an actual safety hazard Ava: Not to brag but my coordination is great, tah Nancy: being rude to the dyslexic now Nancy: yeah, you can go Ava: 👋

Buster & Rio

Buster: Can you come over? I don't care if it has to be late Rio: What's wrong? Are you okay? Buster: No. And I don't wanna be alone here, with this shit, that'll make it worse Rio: Coming as soon as I can Rio: What has she said? Done? Buster: She's threatening to tell everyone about us and stop me seeing Jay if I don't dump you and get back with her Buster: It's fucking stupid and mostly not happening but Christ, I'm so tired Buster: And sick of her Rio: You know she can't stop you Rio: but if you have to then do Rio: Leave me, I mean, not the bit where you bow to her every whim and marry her at once Rio: if it makes it easier to keep seeing Jay, then I get it Rio: I don't know what I'll do but Buster: Fuck off. I won't. I love you Buster: I love Jay too, obviously, but like you said, she can't stop me seeing her Buster: I'll go to court, I don't care Rio: You know I love you too Rio: but I don't want to make your life any more difficult than it is already with her in it Buster: You're the only thing keeping me sane and you know it Buster: I can't lose you Rio: Okay Rio: You're sure? Rio: If you are, then I'll stand by you and support you 1000% Rio: Of course, I will Buster: 'Course I am. I know it felt a bit, I don't know how to even describe it, going from where we were to like bracelets and 'I love you's ' or whatever but it's been a long time coming, yeah? Buster: And I swear I mean it. I'm so sure Rio: Yeah Rio: Me too Rio: I just wish the rest wasn't such a fucking mess Rio: How are we going to face all the people we have to face Buster: I have no fucking clue, honestly, but I know I'll support you in whatever you wanna do or say Buster: We'll handle it together. Somehow Rio: I'm trying to think faster than she can post Rio: We have to get it out there before she does, right? Rio: At least it'll be the truth, I can own that better than whatever story she's concocting rn Buster: Yeah Buster: And it'll be better coming from us, I reckon, still a shock but Buster: They'll see where we're coming from instead of her POV Buster: Though maybe it's better for everyone to think we're just fucking and we can stop? I don't know Buster: That's what she believes Rio: But when we don't Rio: They're just going to think...Fuck knows Rio: I don't think it'll be good but Rio: I just don't know, I can't predict what anyone is going to think or say Rio: Do Buster: We could always let her post it and leave until some of the backlash dies down. Not what a mature dad would do like Buster: But Buster: She doesn't think I am anyway so whatever, yeah? Rio: Where are we going to go? Rio: We can't stay away forever Buster: This is such a headfuck Buster: There's no time Buster: Thriving under pressure is one thing, but she's proper ambushed us Rio: I know, I feel sick Rio: Stalking her feeds like its love Buster: I can't even bring myself to have anything open on my phone other than this convo Buster: How are we even gonna get everyone together to tell them? There's so many of the fuckers Rio: I don't know, mass group chat seems a little blasé Rio: Maybe, we tell the most important ones, and fast Rio: and then let them tell who they need to etc Rio: Let word of mouth do the rest Buster: Fucking hell, Nance is in NYC, I can't be like excuse the time difference but I've gotta just ruin your life again potentially really quick Rio: Oh, fuck Rio: I wish I didn't love you like I do Rio: would be so much simpler, wouldn't it Buster: I know, but don't say that again, okay? Buster: I told Chlo I don't regret you and I meant it Buster: Even if I have to let mum and dad tell Nance and let her think that's how little I care about her Rio: I'm sorry, I don't want it in any other way, and I only want it that way for your benefit Rio: I don't want to hurt you, ever Rio: Run to NYC? Buster: Good Buster: I would if I thought she'd have me. But I've got no right to ask her for that Rio: What if I ask? Rio: Obviously we'd need a place to stay when the shit hits the fan but at least you can do it in person Buster: Yeah Buster: She deserves that much after me being such a shit brother, as Chlo was quick to remind me Rio: You've had your moments but she still loves you, Buster Buster: Maybe she shouldn't Buster: Maybe I should just stay away from her Rio: Why? Buster: She's finally landed on her feet with uni like, she doesn't need me ruining everything for her again Buster: She's close to you and I've taken the piss so much already, she might not understand why I'm doing this Rio: I know but Chlo isn't going to help her understand, is she? Rio: If we're doing this Rio: if its worth it, we have to go in Rio: we're going to hurt people, and its gonna be fucking horrible Rio: but, it'll hurt me to have to leave you, and that's the only alternative we have left Buster: You're right. Making a habit of being, yeah? Buster: Looks like I'm getting on another flight then Buster: If I pass uni myself at this point nobody can say shit about my ego Rio: You know you can, you will Rio: Obviously you have to tell her alone Rio: but do you want me to come? Rio: I have the funds Buster: I want nothing more but what about your family? Besides Billie they are all here Buster: If you want to tell your parents first I can't blame you Rio: Maybe I'm being a coward, but I'm not convinced Chlo will actually do anything, she would've just done it, surely? I think if you can keep her talking, even if its arguing, it gives us time...like its all she has over you Rio: She'd be a moron (more than she is) to just let go of it that easy Buster: I reckon you're onto something, babe Buster: Or you just really want a holiday like Rio: How did you guess? Rio: Gonna have time and desire to see all the sights, like Rio: I just think...I don't know, she might wanna hear my side too, maybe, and it might help if she does Buster: Yeah Buster: I wish we could take Jay. I hate the thought of leaving her with Chlo right now Buster: And she can work any room, 'course Buster: No chance of staying mad with that face around Rio: Yeah Rio: I don't trust her as a Mum, I wouldn't say that just 'cos I'm the petty new woman, you know that Rio: I seriously don't Rio: but you said her 'rents are decent and do most of the work Rio: Sure they still will be, they'll look after her, even if Chlo won't Buster: Same. It's what scares me about her. More than anything she's ever threatened Buster: Thank Christ she still lives at home Buster: And Jay's too young to believe any shit she says against me Rio: She's going to know who you are, and what a good Dad you are Rio: You'd never let Chlo get away with that, and Jay wouldn't believe her over you Rio: who's put in the actual work, after-all Rio: just another thing she'll lament about, wah wah no one loves me Buster: I need to believe that or I'll properly crack up like Rio: Its the truth Rio: I promise you Buster: You're the best Buster: I know it shouldn't be a competition of who I fucked over more or whatever but you or Erin would never do this Rio: Most wouldn't Rio: Unlucky for you, you found one who will go above and beyond to fuck up your life Buster: Yeah Buster: How soon could you leave for NYC? Rio: As soon as you can Rio: Not ideal for either of us but Rio: Gotta be done Buster: I'm emailing my professors to get extensions and shit as we speak, not that a family emergency anywhere near covers it Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: No shorthand for this situation Rio: Though I'm sure they'd all love to know the drama Buster: Oh fuck, all my old friends are gonna lap this up Buster: Been waiting on my fall from grace Rio: Do you care? Rio: Most of them were cunts, has to be said Buster: Only thinking of you, babe. Not to late for you to hit up James again and choose him instead Rio: Please Rio: He was good for a warm bed and nothing else, you fool Rio: Try to forget that ever happened, like Buster: Good. Me too Rio: I already wanted you then Buster: I know Buster: And you know I did too, yeah? Rio: I knew for definite after Rio: Got no poker face and the jealousy was palpable, babe Buster: Fuck off Buster: Not my fault you're proper desirable Rio: Just write that on a postcard and be done with it, I reckon Rio: They'll all understand Buster: You just saved us a trip. Well done Rio: Always thinking, me Rio: Now we can hide forever just you and me Buster: I'm thinking my ma's poker face skipped a generation and my daughter got it all Buster: Yeah. I'm looking at flights there and not back, casually Rio: I reckon you might be right Rio: she certainly knows how to wrap you around her little finger already Buster: You being giving her sly lessons? I know her mother can't teach her anything about that Rio: What can I say? Make the most of my time Rio: Nah, just a girl after my own heart, like Buster: Take your word on that like Buster: We might need that hustle you've got if my parents disown me so can't complain Rio: They won't will they? Mine either Rio: Oh God Buster: I don't see how mine can after how they got together Buster: Basically brother and sister depending who you ask Buster: But who knows Rio: And everyone knows about Joe and Ronnie but they still talk to them Rio: am I just being stupid and naive thinking it might end up okay? Rio: not just wishful thinking is it Buster: True. I forgot about them, which shows how many fucks I give Buster: We can do this Buster: It ain't illegal, even if Chlo reckons otherwise. I could marry you if I wanted like Rio: Yeah, it'll just be adjusting to it Rio: like we had to Rio: all we can do is give everyone time Rio: but they can't make us not Buster: Let them be mad if they gotta but I ain't Buster: I love you too much Rio: I love you Rio: I have to be with you Rio: I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't have been there for me throughout all the bad shit Buster: I know you'd have made it, but I'm still glad I was there anyway Buster: If only 'cause I'm a selfish cunt Rio: I don't know Rio: I just know I don't just need you, I want you too Rio: That's all Buster: I feel the same, trust me Buster: I know it's stupid but I can't help wondering what Edie would make of this Rio: Probably thank me for taking the heat off her... Rio: I think she'd get it, she got most things, even the shit other people didn't want to touch Buster: Yeah Buster: We can get a flight tomorrow if I throw enough cash at it. Can you handle that? Rio: Yes Rio: Let's do this Buster: Make sure you tell Indie at least Buster: We can worry about Nance at the last possible moment Rio: Will do, at least she can cover for me if needs Buster: My mum and dad probably won't notice I've gone unless Chlo goes through with her threat and the shit hits the fan Rio: She's not got the bottle Rio: We'll be back to tell them as soon as we can Buster: Actually want you to be a know-it-all Buster: What's the world come to? Rio: Fuck knows, babe Rio: It ain't coming to an end though, not like she wants Buster: Come over tonight and I'll take you home to get packed in the AM Buster: Not leaving your side Rio: Of course Rio: I'm going to take care of you Buster: You can prove that to me later Buster: There's nothing I want more Rio: I'm going to Rio: Gonna show you why I'm worth this Buster: I already know Buster: But I'm always ready for you to tell me again Rio: You deserve it Buster: So do you, babe Rio: I love you so fucking much Buster: I love you too Buster: No matter what Rio: We're gonna have it all, remember? Buster: I won't forget Buster: I'm packing and I swear any drawer I pull out either has something of Jay's in or something that doesn't belong there which she's helpfully put there Buster: It doesn't feel like she was here long enough to do all that Buster: And it's gonna kill me if I can't see her again sometime soon Rio: You will Rio: That's why we're sorting this now, and not running Rio: For her, yeah? Buster: Us too though. 'Cause it has to be better in the long run Buster: We've done our share of lying and not saying what we mean Rio: Yeah Rio: We would've always had to have done this Rio: or stop Rio: she's forced our hand but Rio: I'm so tired of the lies anyway Buster: Agreed. Tempting as it'd be to wait until Jay's in college herself, I can't either Buster: She's done us a favor really, which she'll love Rio: Yeah, let that fuel you Rio: She's going to get nothing from this, she's only gonna fuck herself up Buster: Exactly. I tried to warn her as much Rio: She can't be told anything Rio: Fuck her Buster: Not again, cheers Rio: I'd be jealous but even my brain can't make that scenario believable Buster: Thank Christ 'cause if it could I'd have to reckon you don't know me like I thought you did Rio: No one's that self-destructive Rio: Not even you Buster: No arguments here Rio: Good Buster: Bad enough I did it the once Rio: Thank God for Jay Rio: otherwise that'd be nothing but an awkward regret forreal Buster: Any other mother if I could though, honestly Buster: I'd rather it was Indie even Rio: Um, I wouldn't Rio: She is all you though, sure you could've got her from someone else like Buster: Yeah? You reckon Buster: I wonder what the next one will be like when she's born Rio: Same Rio: Exciting Buster: We've been throwing some names around and none of them have made me cringe like Chlo's choice of middle name for Jay so that's a start Rio: That's a start Rio: All I know is she'll be dead cute too Buster: I'm sure Erin will be well happy you feel that way about her like Buster: But seriously, you're too much and I can't get enough of you still Rio: Shut up, she might not legit try and murder me like Chlo but I still don't think I should try my luck, like Buster: You'd be within your rights to murder Chlo yourself, some of the shit she said Rio: Yeah? Rio: Can't say I'm surprised Buster: I wasn't either Buster: Shut her up anyway though Rio: 'Course you did, so chivalrous forever Rio: My hero Buster: What can I say? I know what you like Buster: She tried to talk shit about Nancy too Rio: Cunt Rio: Nance is 10 times the person she'll ever be Buster: Yeah Buster: She proved it by bringing her up, as if she hadn't done enough already Buster: Trying to call her a freak 'cause in her mind it compares, the monsters she reckons we are and Nance being gay Rio: Shown herself up there Rio: Think what you like about us but get with the times on the gay thing, babe Buster: And she thinks she's the one fit to raise my daughter while I ain't Buster: Jay could be gay for all we know Rio: I don't think she even thinks that, she just chats shit for her own benefit Rio: She can't possibly think she's doing good Rio: Don't know if she cares Buster: Pretty sure she doesn't Buster: She basically said she only wanted Jay so she could play happy families with me Buster: Like there was no point to being a parent if she couldn't have that Rio: What the fuck Rio: She's so Rio: You had no say, she did Rio: she should've really wanted her Rio: So horrible Buster: I wish I could take Jay off her but there's no way Rio: Yeah that'd be near impossible Rio: She's not that level of awful Rio: When you're finished with Uni, set up, she'll have to custody share properly Rio: Get that sorted Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe she'll get better over time, once the new baby is here and me and you are still going strong, giving her no choice but to accept things even if she doesn't want to see sense Rio: Can but hope, babe Buster: Fuck it I'm coming there. I need a drink. Buster: And seeing you wouldn't hurt either Rio: Yeah? Rio: I won't be mad about that either Buster: I'll stay until you're done. Keep you company like you've done for me Rio: I'll get to pouring Buster: Good Buster: Be there soon