#this was originally the bday set itself! and also the very first set i started on i think | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

behindheremeraldeyes · 3 years

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title: the next step is love

summary: Modern AU - It’s Sakura’s birthday, and after the party, she’s left to take care of the mess of dirty plates and glasses. Luckily, she’s not alone, but he can’t really stay forever, right?

a/n: Okay, this story was supposed to have come out way earlier, but I changed the plot so many times that I just couldn’t finish it for her birthday... The original idea was so different, and perhaps, I end up writing it another time when the inspiration strikes again (seriously, it was a nice one). Anyway, I hope you can still enjoy this one! As always, my fluff side took over me and I just had to make something simple and domestic for the Queen’s bday! Hope you enjoy it, and please, let me know what you think! (also, this is un-betta’d. I wanted to post this asap because I’m working on a different project, so... bear with me)

“Thank you for coming! ‘Careful on your way home!”

The sound of the door clicking shut reverberates across her entire apartment, and it only takes one second for that smiley expression to fade from her face. Her right hand is still placed over the door-knob, and for a brief moment, she closes her eyes, letting out a deep sigh in pure contentment. The last guests are finally on their merry way home now, and at last, she can stop worrying about things such as making sure no one’s feeling left out or re-filling toilet paper. Even if they’re all good friends, her perfectionist mind can’t simply allow her to enjoy the night without worrying about those details.

After turning the key, her hand moves to massage the back of her neck, and finally, she sets her toes free from her black heels. A mix of relief and calmness spreads all over her body, as a soft smile takes over her cherry-colored lips. This, perhaps, might be her favorite part of her birthday parties— or any party, for the matter— because, right now, she can finally savor all the things she's prepared for the night. The food, the decoration, the soothing music...

Oh, what a dream, she thinks, at first, before looking around with her lazy eyes and frowning at the scene. If only all of that mess could magically disappear by the time she wakes up tomorrow morning.

A sigh escapes her lungs as she makes her way back to the center of the hurricane that is her living room. Just like last year, she starts wondering why on earth she let Ino convince her to host her own birthday party instead of going out for a couple of drinks like most people do. Though the pinkette really enjoys having her friends over for a couple of hours, she can’t deny that the day after March 28th is probably the most tiring of the year. Sakura knows she's barely gonna get any sleep tonight, and by the time her alarm goes off around 5:30, she will certainly need at least 1 liter of coffee in order to go through her shift without falling asleep.

In theory, she could leave all that mess for tomorrow, sure, but thanks to her cleaning compulsion, that’s not really an option for her.

If only she could be a little more like Naruto...

Still, as she shakes her pink head, Sakura decides there’s no use in thinking about it tonight. That’s a problem for her future-self, and even if she’s probably going to regret that decision in the morning, right now, this is her moment. She can drink a full glass of champagne while eating another piece of her strawberry cake, and the best part is that she can do it all while enjoying the company of the only one whose presence will never be a bother to her.

Once she finally reaches her kitchen, the pinkette is fast to register the dirty dishes laying around the counter. There are way more glasses than the number of people she invited for the party, but for a brief moment, she forgets that she’s the owner of that mess. Her emerald eyes automatically drift towards the sink, and her heart skips a beat at the scene playing in front of her.

Not even in her wildest, teenage-ish dreams would she have ever pictured Uchiha Sasuke doing her dishes after her birthday party. Though she knows she’s the one who’s technically responsible for all of that, it’s inevitable for her to be entertained by how focused he seems to be while attempting to remove that lipstick stain from the cup.

How lovely, she ponders, bitting her lower lip in order to suppress a chuckle.

Too bad she can’t just keep watching him for the rest of the night.

“You know, even if I appreciate both your help and the view, you don’t have to do this, Sasuke-kun.” Sakura says, picking up some of the plates laying around and walking towards the sink. She’s standing by his side now, his tall body towering over hers, almost a head taller. The expression decorating his features remains unaltered, and she notices how he slowly moves to give her some space next to him. “You can go rest, if you want.”

“Do you want me to go leave?” He asks, unaltered, while scrubbing another knife.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” She answers, grabbing a piece of cloth to dry the cutlery he has already washed. “I just don’t want you to do something you don’t want just because it’s my birthday or anything like that. It’s fine, really. I can do it alone.”

“Hn, It’s faster if we do it together.” He stops, a sly smirk taking over the corner of his lips as he closes the tap. His eyes are on hers, now, and she can feel her chest warming up in response. “Unless you wanna do it all by yourself.”

“Nope.” She says, promptly, handing him another dirty spoon and he’s quick to resume what he was doing. Her eyes watch the way the water runs through his fingers, and oddly, she can’t help but find that amusing. “If you’re willing to help, who am I to say no, right?”

A giggle escapes her lips when she hears the ‘tch’ that escaped from his lips, and eventually, they fall in a comfortable silence that is only disturbed by the clanking of the dishes touching each other. Every now and then, their fingers brush when he hands her the plates, and though she can still feel the sparks, those simple touches are no longer enough to make her blush in embarrassment as they used to.

His touch is no longer a stranger to her skin. His presence and his warmth have long been registered by her subconscious, marking every cell of her body with his constant presence. It’s been over 5 springs since their childish love finally bloomed into a serious relationship, and by now, both Sasuke and Sakura have grown used to one another. It goes beyond carnal desires or any poor excuse for a casual company, for their hearts share a connection deeper than words could ever describe.

Blame it on the fact that they used to be good friends before or even fate itself, but it’s impossible to deny the fact that they’ve reached the apex of their young love-life, to the point where doing the dishes together feels wholesome in ways neither of them can explain. There’s a sense of domesticity and mutual understanding shared in between unspoken words, and perhaps, that’s why it works so well for them as a couple. Even if they’re very different people, with different routines and personalities, they make it work.

They have enough trust, love and companionship to last for a life-time.

And though that should be enough—hell, that should be more than enough— Sakura can’t help but feel that there’s still something missing.

Something she can’t quite pin-point, but something that makes perfect moments lose their magic, for she knows they just won’t last. Even now, as they’re doing the dishes and making small conversation about how the party went, deep inside, her heart is heavy because she knows that once those dishes are clean, it will all be over and she will be left alone in her apartment before midnight strikes.

No matter how hard she tries, their moments together have their life-spawn shortened by the common laws of the universe, for every time there’s that stupid parting moment in which they both have to go separate ways. It’s painful for her to watch him disappear in the distance, and even if he doesn’t really express it with words, she can see the light in his eyes fading whenever they have to say goodbye. It’s always a new ‘good night’ and never a constant ‘good morning’ for them, and after so long, she’s sick and tired of this.

Perhaps, it’s just her tired-self speaking too loud in her head or even the few drinks she had during the party, but tonight, she doesn’t want the world to stand between them. Tonight, Sakura will break the natural laws, not caring about the consequences of finally taking the next step.

It’s still her birthday, after all. That has to count for something.

Her heart is beating faster now that she has made up her mind, and she realizes that she’s shaking when she picks another fork from his hands. She’s swallowing dry, and if not for the make up in her face, she knows he would be able to see a crimson blush decorating her cheeks. It’s now or never, she thinks. And before she has the chance to talk herself out of it, Haruno Sakura decides to act.

“Uhm... Sasuke-kun.” She starts, her voice shaky as his name slips from her tongue. Clearly, she forgot to think about the proper way of actually saying what she wanted, choosing instead to improvise— something she’s never really been good at. “I was thinking... Why don’t you spend the night here? You don’t have to go home after this.”

“Don’t even think about going to sleep, Sakura. You’re not leaving all of this mess to me.”

“Oi, that’s not what I meant!” She scolded him, a pout taking over her expression. “Shannarou, I just don’t want you to go home all alone at such late hours. Besides, is it wrong for a girl to want to stay with her boyfriend for the night?”

“You pervert.” He smirks, earning an elbow to his ribs in response. For someone so small, it’s undeniable that his girlfriend has some sort of abnormal strength people like her shouldn’t possess.

“Shut up. That’s not what I meant either! I just... I just don’t want you to leave, that’s all.”

Her words come out a little too low, but high enough so that he can hear them. Her voice sounded an octave too-melancholic, and perhaps, that was what made him actually take her offer seriously. “Hn, I guess I could. I don’t have to work tomorrow, so I can go home once when you leave for the hospital.”

“Really?” Sakura starts, a smile now threatening to take over her features. Though she still had to convey her real plan, that was already a win. A small one, but a win, nonetheless. “Well, you don’t have to leave that early if you don’t want to. You can just...stay. Maybe even wait for me to get home from the hospital and then we could eat dinner together.”

“What?” His eyes widen at her idea, and right now, she can’t really tell if his surprised expression is good or bad. “Aren’t you going to stay there until late tomorrow?”

“Well, probably, but you can stay here... is that a problem?”

”It’s not really a problem, but... I just don’t want to abuse your hospitality. It’s still your apartment, Sakura.” He scratches the back of his neck, and she could see that he was truly concerned about his manners. His mother has taught him how to be a gentleman, and even if she loves that about him, right now, she wishes he could let loose and just take her offer.

She bites her lower lip at his words, a puff of annoyance inflating her cheeks at his answer. Her boyfriend’s has never been good at reading her signs, and now, when not even she’s understanding them, the pinkette is starting to freak out.

Things are not going as planned— not that she actually planned anything to begin with. Her head is spiraling as she watches the snow-ball being created by her messy words, and slowly, she can feel her chance slipping through her fingers. If she doesn’t say it now, Sakura’s going to miss her opportunity, and who knows what’s going to happen to them. Will they break up? Will he think she’s not interested in a long-term commitment? Will they never do the dishes again?

No, she’s overthinking again. They have a solid relationship that has been built over the years and she’s not going to ruin it all in one night because she’s acting like a coward. She’s a modern, independent woman. A doctor, damn it. She has done a lot of things that were harder than asking her boyfriend to move in with her.

She can do it. She will do it.

“Sasuke-kun!” Her voice is determined now, her eyes filled with a different fire in them. This is it. No backing out now. “I need to ask you something important. It’s about our future together.”

“Okay... I’m listening.” He states, a little taken aback by her sudden burst. He stops what he’s doing, his dark irises now looking into her emerald ones. They’re holding a certain hope in them, and if anything, she was not expecting him to be paying that much attention to her. She’s feeling pressured by them, intimidated even. Her knees are shaking, her lips are trembling and her mind is suddenly blank.

She can’t do it. Nope. Not with those eyes staring into her soul.

“I-I... I...” Her heart is beating faster, and she feels like it will burst out of her chest any minute now. She’s going to faint, she can tell it.

“What is it, Sakura?”

“I-I...” She swallows, then, sighing as courage escapes her body. The pinkette has chickened out, finally opting for her ever-reliable plan B. “Naruto is an idiot, right?”

“... Yes.” He starts, his brows furrowing in confusion. “But what does that have to do with our future?”

“E-Everything! I mean, did you see how drunk he was tonight? Thank god Sai offered himself to take him home tonight, but we can rely on that forever. As his best friends, we have to do something about it. He lives far from both of us and we need a plan whenever we have a drinking night together.”

A moment of palpable tension grows between them, and right now, she’s sure he can hear her heart beating like crazy inside her chest. I’m an idiot, she thinks, holding back the urge to lower her head and cry. Sakura has just ruined everything, and right now, she’s going to have to pretend to actually care about where Naruto crashes when he’s drunk just so her boyfriend doesn’t think she’s completely crazy.

Ugh, those damn eyes of his. Why do they have to be so *freaking beautiful?

Thankfully, they can also read her like an open book.

“Hn, you’re right.” He says, finally breaking the silence that surrounded them. His voice is calm and understanding, as always, and she can feel her heart settling down at that. If anything, at least, his reaction isn’t bad or anything. “I guess we will have to have a spare room for him when we move in together.”

“Yeah, sure. A spare room when we—“ Her mind stops. Her hands freeze while holding the cloth and her green eyes widen. Her lips part slightly, but no word dares coming out of them.

Did he... Did he just say what she thinks he said?

She doesn’t know what kind of face she’s making right now, but if anything, she’s completely dumbfounded by his words. Sure, it’s not like he’s making a move tonight or anything, but he did say the words, right? Move in together. The three words she was trying so hard to get out of her chest, simply rolled out of his tongue as if it is the most logical thing in the world— and perhaps, it is. He says them in a way as if that decision won’t change their lives forever. As if it won’t affect their routine and the amount of food they have to buy at the grocery store.

It’s a decision that goes beyond a drawer filled with socks or an extra tooth-brush. And even if he sounds as calm as ever, she knows he’s aware of all that, because, if anything, Uchiha Sasuke doesn’t do anything based on impulse. He’s the kind of man who thinks things through and studies every possibility before making a decision.

So that means...

“Sasuke-kun... Are you suggesting that we move in together?”

“Aa.” He nods, no hesitation in his voice. “Weren’t you trying to say the same?”

“I-I... I was?” She says, sounding more like a question, to which he simply quirks an eyebrow in inquiry. If anything, that was not the moment for doubts anymore. “I mean, yes! That was exactly what I was trying to say.”

“Good. Then it’s settled.”

“Is it? Really?” She asks, hope now running through her veins and lighting up her entire system.

“Yes. It’s only natural for people like us, right?”

“Yeah...” He cheeks grow warmer, and her chest suddenly feels lighter. At last, he took the words out of her. “It’s settled, then.”

At last, their days of saying goodbye are counted and now they can enjoy each other from dawn to dusk.

A smile slowly makes its way to her eyes, and she can’t help but switch her attention to him. Sasuke is now looking at her, a soft expression taking over his face. She’s bewildered right now as she looks at the man who will be living with her. Totally and completely marveled, and more in love with him than she has ever been before in her life.

He understands her unsaid words and they share similar ideas regarding their past, present and future.

They are in love, and now, they’re ready to share the same roof above their pretty, little heads.

“You’re still staying with me tonight, right?”

“Tch.You really are a pervert, Sakura.”

He splashes her face with some water from the sink and her giggles fill her kitchen with joy. They’re young and in love, and for now, that’s all they need to take the next step towards their future together.

the end

#Sasusaku #sasusaku fanfiction #Sasusaku fanfic #sasusaku fic #myssfics

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tarredion · 3 years

Text

2020 fic roundup

hiii! i was going to do this earlier but,, um,, i posted three fics in the final two hours of 2020 year (for me) so :D here is finally my fic roundup - in order from newest to oldest

i’ll be using the original summaries, wordcounts n ratings etc, some of the tags, link to the tumblr post and the ao3 link, and maybe add a note or two if i feel that’s not enough

this’ll be a long post so read below the cut

(or go directly to my ao3 here especially in case you don’t want spoilers)

Fireworks up above

g, 341

NYE, established relationship, husbands, tooth-rotting fluff, kissing

Husbands Dan and Phil and their placeholder-apartment share a final NYE moment (aka 2020 NYE)

ao3 // tumblr

Quiet morning

g, 304

tooth-rotting fluff, lazy mornings, sleepy cuddles, established relationship, husbands, forever home

Dan wakes up in the forever home, Phil breathing softly next to him…

ao3 // tumblr

Shadows / nocturne / parting clouds

g, 2.7k

hurt/comfort, migraine, arguing, angst with a fluffy ending, established relationship, ii tour fic, alternating and outsider pov

Phil wakes up with a migraine, causing him to snap at Dan. Throughout the day, while visiting a city for the ii tour, Cornelia observes the tension, and eventually, the two of them console

ao3 // tumblr

A tub fit for two

t, 853

dnp, forever home, established relationship, husbands, fluff, bathing/washing, and more

there are certain perks that come with building your own (forever) house

ao3 // tumblr

Signals

m, 1.6k

texting, established relationship, food, domestic fluff, very light angst, sexual content

excerpts of dan and phil’s texts throughout the years

ao3 // tumblr

At the turn of a page

g, 1.2k

liveshow, 2020-ish, fluff, established relationship, forever home

Phil’s had his reasons for not continuing liveshows during lockdown, but they’re ready for a comeback—a domestic one, at that

ao3 // tumblr

Prickle on the skin, ache in the heart

t, 1.4k

2014, closeted relationship, bbc party, alcohol, vomiting, self confidence issues, jealousy, angst then fluff, happy ending

phil smiles wider, brighter. every day. every day, dan falls in love again. he can’t help but be a little jealous, not being able to say

ao3 // tumblr

It’s home

t, 2.2k

au ice-cream parlor, established relationship, pure fluff, slice of life

A day in the life of Dan and his smitten ice-cream vendor boyfriend Phil, living on the coast of Connemara, Ireland

ao3 // tumblr

Whisper of the heart

g, 976

established relationship, headaches & migraines, hurt/comfort, fluff, piano

Phil has a headache. Dan plays the piano and comforts him.

ao3 // tumblr

Slice of cake

e, 2.7k

established relationship, bday sex, 2016, face-sitting, rimming

Dan’s promised to celebrate Phil with nothing but the best this year.

Naturally, he buys himself a new skirt - but it’s not just to wear.

ao3 // tumblr

Supple thirty-two

this is a chaptered wip !! it’ll continue in 2021 (the update note is currently inaccurate)

3/32

t, 4k so far

slow burn, friends to lovers, love letters, secret admirer, fluff and angst, internalized homophobia, outing, coming out, queer themes, happy ending

A secret admirer sends flowers and letters to Dan over the years

ao3 // tumblr

Tenderhearted

g, 1k

2009, comfort/angst, sad but sweet, sleepy cuddles, separation anxiety

Phil doesn’t want Dan to go home. Dan agrees. Quite strongly, actually.

Feeling properly loved for the first time causes serious separation anxiety.

ao3 // tumblr

I’d marry you (with paper rings)

m, 4k

established relationship, fluff, domestic, proposal, sexual content

Maybe learning calligraphy was of greater importance to Phil, and them, than Dan first thought

ao3 // tumblr

Blue can be kind, too

this is my favourite fic of the ones i’ve written !! so far. it’s from the pov of kid dan so very tender and mostly very childish / undeveloped in the language, as if actually told from his brain (even though it’s third person)

g, 4k

kid!fic, dan and phil are kids, kindergarten, developing friendship, past violence and bullying, referenced homophobia, fluff and angst, sad and happy, happy ending

A tale of being scared, starting fresh, and making your first ever friends after experiencing violent bullying.

Or rather, four-year-old Dan’s first day at his new kindergarten.

ao3 // tumblr

Ablaze

e, 4k

established relationship, spanking, daddy kink, oral, aftercare

Phil’s trying to work; Dan’s being a brat. Things get heated, but not in a bad way.

ao3 // tumblr

The brightest shade of sun (I had ever seen)

g, 3.9k

friends to lovers, getting together, only one bed

one dawn on the isle of man can be enough to unite two craving hearts, even if a lot of heartbreaking thoughts are revealed along the way

ao3 // tumblr

Tracing constellations

t, 1.3k

established relationship, sleepy cuddles, fluff, banter, kissing

Two 6-foot men cuddling in a single armchair doesn’t sound like a good idea.

It isn’t, but dan and phil do almost anything for intimacy…

ao3 // tumblr

Between the seams

g, 999

established relationship, cuddling, fluff, fear, hurt/comfort

Bone-tired lovers meet thundering downpour, rediscovering the best way to confront fear in the meantime

ao3 // tumblr

Fjäll med stjärnor

this one is also a chaptered wip !! it’ll also be continuing in 2021, and probably beyond bcs it might be even longer than that

2/?

g, 9k so far

fantasy, magic, kinda historical fantasy, dan’s a dragon, and Phil’s human (at first), strangers to friends to lovers (eventually), fluff and angst, lots of descriptions

a human’s and a dragon’s paths crossing is unusual, but in this case it was in alignment with the stars and a decision as old as time itself

ao3 // tumblr

It’s not a date?

chaptered wip to continue into 2021 too

2/4

t, 4.6k so far

there’s only one bed, bodyswap, didn’t know they were dating, friends to lovers, getting together, idiots in love, tatinof

On one hand, it should all go flawlessly. When Phil goes on tour with his boyfriend of six years, Dan, he books them rooms with only one bed. He’s not deterred by their quiet and nonsexual (monogamous) lovelife. They do things ‘normal’ couples do, just maybe not as often or intimately. He supposes Dan’s just taking it slow, trying to come to terms with his sexuality and so on. It’s okay.

On the other… Dan doesn’t know they are dating. He has a longtime crush on Phil that he thinks is unrequited, despite their mutual rather romantic and domestic behavior.

ao3 // tumblr

Fur-ever

g, 3.5k

tooth-rotting fluff, dog owners/dads, dog wedding, established relationship, alternate universe - different first meeting, howells and lesters

Dog dads Dan and Phil marry their dogs, in preparation for their own big day

ao3 // tumblr

The maestro and his muse

chaptered but completed!

4/4

e, 5.5k

friends to lovers, mutual pining, body painting, teasing, sexual content

Phil is a professional artist. He’s always wanted to try body painting, and now he gets to, for a naked photoshoot. Unfortunately, his good friend, muse, and crush Dan Howell is his model of choice. What could go wrong?

ao3 // tumblr

Lightyear groovin’

t, 4.6k

star wars setting, dj Phil, waiter Dan, mutual pining, friends to lovers

In a galaxy far, far away, there’s an abundance of 70s clubs. On Krithoo, local party freak Dan Howell works as a waiter at an often overcrowded cantina, Virgo Volans. And maybe, just maybe, he has an infatuation with the extraterrestrial dj frequenting their stage…

ao3 // tumblr

A theism in evolution

g, 5.9k

gods au, enemies to friends to lovers, getting together, fluff and angst, emotional h/c, written entirely in letters, 1st person pov

The sungod, Phil, sends letters to Mother Gaia. He puts all his worries into words… even when he himself can’t see right through them

ao3 // tumblr

Little comfort card

g, 932

separation anxiety, established relationship, business trip, vidcon, fluff and angst, homesickness, comfort, post-coming out videos

Phil goes to VidCon alone. Cue separation anxiety, something Dan seems to have accounted for..

"The whole room felt too airy, and lacked that simple, aesthetic Dan-touch. It wasn’t quite home, so to speak."

ao3

Your hoodies (come wrapped around me)

g, 869

york hoodie, clothes sharing, fluff, moving, house cleaning

Unpacking for their move into bigger quarters, Dan finds an ancient treasure in the back of their conjoined closet.

ao3 // tumblr

Awestruck

g, 996

barista dan, youtuber phil, fanboy dan, crushes, getting together, strangers to lovers

Dan might meet his best customer at the end of his worst day, and get a little more

ao3 // tumblr

Rainbow, proud

g, 513

post-coming out videos, established relationship, domestic boyfriends, fluff, shopping

Phil really wants the corgi shirt, but Dan thinks he has enough already

ao3 // tumblr

A prickly considerate gift

it’s the piranha plant bouquet !!

g, 1k

2014, established relationship, Valentines day fluff, gift giving, flowers and language of flowers, brief depression mention, domestic fluff, nerdiness

Phil finds a substitute for real Valentine’s day flowers

ao3 // tumblr

Cherish the smile

g, 783

husbands, honeymoon, established relationship, fluff

Phil wakes on the first morning of their honeymoon; a new day to cherish Dan’s gorgeous, excited, smile

ao3 // tumblr

“Seriously?”

t, 3k

strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers sort of, getting together, angst with a happy ending, co-workers, non-youtuber au, and lots of other tags lmao

Prompt: Dan and Phil meet while candle shopping and one of them can't help but comment on how obnoxious/boring/etc the scents the other one is picking out are the time Phil met a totally-not-handsome stranger and only sort-of wished they'd never meet again. Tough luck?

ao3

The lovers (VI)

chaptered, completed !

14/14

m, 31k

friends to lovers, magical realism au, lots of angst but also fluff, happy ending (more important tags on ao3)

Dan, guardian of the forest, feels inadequate to love and of love. His best friend Phil loves him despite that.. but doesn’t know quite what to do when Dan becomes a hypocrite- playing with both their feelings

ao3 // tumblr

Colour me rosé

another chaptered wip !! though this one may not be finished in 2021, because i have so much on my plate then - enjoy what’s here though !

9/?

m, 13k so far

sugar daddy Phil, sugar baby Dan, phil is rich, eventually domestic, strangers to lovers, developing relationship and friendship, sexual content, fluff, a little angst, and like a lot lot more tags

nineteen-year-old Dan Howell is looking for a sugar daddy to help him achieve the dream of luxury and romantic affirmations. Phil Lester, newly 24 and very rich, is searching for a romantic and sexual relationship. When stumbling upon the other on the internet, similar interests and all, have they found their match?

ao3 // tumblr

Archaic Allure (sonnet)

so as it turns out, writing a fic idea can really help you out with your grade (and yes, this is actually a sonnet)

g, 104

poetry, reminiscing, fluff, Dan’s pov

Dan reminisces his love for Phil - sonnet version

ao3 // tumblr

Something in your name

t, 3.2k

implied sexual content, fanfic about fanfic, emotional hurt/comfort, separation anxiety, established relationship; and more

phil reads a y/n fic ; guess who wrote it

ao3 // tumblr

Ellie enchanted

g, 986

fluff and angst, happy ending, parent!phan, new child, adoption, established relationship, self-doubt, implied homophobia

Dan and Phil pick up their adopted child

ao3 // tumblr

Chocolate swirls

g, 3.3k

parent!phan, snapshots, bday surprises, baking, fluff and angst, cake

Dan tries to surprise Phil for his 33rd. He fails, as humans do, but ten years later he has luckily got two adorable little helpers at his side. And maybe that makes everything just a little better.

ao3 // tumblr

Dan or Da?

on ao3 this fic is just called Da, so beware of that

t, 9k

parent!phan, friends to lovers, pretend relationship (not what you think), misunderstanding, getting together, implied sexual content, marriage, canon divergence, pov alternating

One day can change your life forever. For Phil, his daughter Mel, and Dan, who’d have guessed that day would be one when all they’ve planned is doing ordinary shopping together.

ao3 // tumblr

and that’s it!! thank you for reading this sweetums, and be sure to check out any of the fics

#my fic #my fics #me #mine #phanfic #phanfiction #phandom #phan #dnp #d&p #dan and phil #masterlist #masterpost #2020 #2020 roundup #fic roundup

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claudia-kishi · 4 years

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1, 8, 21, 48

1. what are your top 3 favorite sets you’ve made?

uMMMm doing an all time thing off the top of my head is hard haha so this is just Some of my favorite sets that i can think of

this recent ele set i made for a mutual’s bday... i had been toying with this gifset for a while and i finally made it... i just... get rly emo about... the pilot of ele and how literally his FIRST WORDS to her (regardless of the fact that it’s not real) really are do you believe in love at first sight... because bitch it was love at first sight!!! and all the ways he says i love you without actually saying it afterwards... i am emo always

this mpi set i made wayyyy back in the day ha... by back in the day i mean 2019 which... feels like 10 years ago. anyways i just rly liked the colors in this it truly is a blessing to have Lighting after years of elementary gifs where things are lit by like. a goddamn candle or something. and the scene itself is also A+... pretty.

this minority report gifset... throwback!!! to when... she was everything. the like 10 of us that watched this show and tried to keep it alive... good times. when i redid all of my old edits, my minority report gifs looked like... 100x better, and they’re actually some of my favorite gifsets i’ve ever done. coloring is (mostly) pretty good and i’m proud of that...!

8. what gif trend do you hate?

i TRULY hate like... desaturated gifs like... please... color... i just want color...

21. PSDs or original coloring for each gif?

i used to WAY BACK when i first started actually download PSDs from people, but eventually i started to use my own coloring for all of my gifs. elementary though i gif so often that i eventually made my own psd that pretty much works for most scenes, at most i’ll just have to tweak color balance / curves a bit to make it look better. but most of my other sets i just wing it and pray what i come up with turns out okay!!!

48. how would you describe your giffing style?

my style is praying that things turn out okay lmao... i used to try to go with trends, like there are ppl who make super vibrant gifs, and i used to try to emulate that, then there was the trend of making things very subtle and not vibrant, and i guess i kinda am in the middle? it depends on the scene and my mood to see which way i end up going.

send me numbers!!

#textythings #thank u!!!#youboughtmeawall

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wingedbouquets-blog1 · 5 years

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Elderlywomanbehindthecounterofasmalltown Syndrome

Small town syndrome - Yeezy said it best when he said “ain’t nobody fresher then my m*f* clique” ...

What is small town syndrome to me... it is when one moves to a small town ...friends get harder to make.... as most people in said small town have lived here for a long time and have their base of friends from school, life etc... not that they don’t let you into their circle, its just harder to kind of be a regular part of that circle. I spoke to a friend recently about this and they said they had another friend say exactly the same thing about moving to said home town.

Now I have never had trouble making friends wherever I go.. actually lets use the word acquaintances for most of the people I met in my early 20′s, as my good friends don’t out number the limbs I have on my body - including fingers and toes.

I am now back in the town where I started.... I have moved cities quiet regularly since I was 18, from moving to different towns in my home state, to inter state, to overseas and back again. I am what you would call a gypsy when it comes to houses, I have moved houses more times then the age I am.. and that is saying something now ;) ... So being in the same place as my good base of friends anywhere has been hard for me cause I just got up and left when the feelings hit that it was time for a change. So my own doing hahaha.

I went to a small country school, where we were ALL friends. I don’t think I stayed in too much of a particular group, from memory, I kinda went from one group to the next, catching up with each of them and I guess it was the same for most of us in that class. I left town like I said at 18 and fast forward 20years and here I am back in my home town.. single, a solo parent and never been married.

I moved back here 8 months pregnant and that in itself bought a whole world of anxiety for me before my move. To me I was moving back to a town i had despised, as it was a hard town to find work in (the reason I first left, it felt like a not what you know but who). That and back then, there was really nothing much to do here, and the city lights drew me to them, Sydney here I come.. where you had basically 24 hour entertainment and things to explore, see and do.. the choices were endless. In my 8 years there, I made a handful of great life long friends, then O/S called ..same deal.... So having to swallow my pride to come back to be near family to help raise my daughter and once again leaving behind very genuine friends, I had made in my 8 year reign in the Sunny Coast, Gold Coast and Brisbane area. Those one, the ones that were there when I first uttered my words “hey guess what... I’m pregnant” you know who you all are. I am no longer in my carefree 20′s where making friends was easy breezy, then being late 30′s. Knowing most of the people I had originally left behind, were still in my home town were now married and already had kids of varying ages. Who had their family routine down.

Very few of my old school friends actually live here in my home town anymore. I had moved away from these old school friends and stayed in touch intermittently, so I honestly get that trying to come back and pick up where we left off was not going to be easy, as so much of their lives and mine had gone on. I had missed bdays, births and marriages, and they had their base of friends whom had seen most of this etc etc... you get what I am saying.

Now add to this my anxiety of not liking the way I looked after having a child... silly right.. damn straight it was... but that was where I was at... I had been invited to my school reunion only months after giving birth, was still finding my feet in being a mother and working out my routine, and I didn’t go because I was like what if they judge me... I’m a single mum, not married, no job (I was on maternity leave) I really felt stuff that not one of them would have in all honestly cared about, but in my head I had made it unbearable to even contemplate catching up with old school mates. I look back now and think they would have all been so happy to see me and my young baby.

I really reverted into myself back then ..........I probably unwittingly pushed some of these friends away, as when you are not honest with how you were allowing anxiety to rule you, they would take it quiet rightfully that you just didn’t want to catch up,......It was not until I found happiness in the way I looked, did I start catching up with people when they asked us out for catch ups. I really let the glamour and vain part of life rule me, as so many pictures of so many women and friends (I’m talking instagram, facebook) of them bouncing back days after giving birth and throw into the mix my mum (bless her misplaced encouragement) of “oh they bound me after birth and I had a flat tummy again days after”. So people would ask to catch up in the early days and I would decline, so I get that you know you do give up on asking. Which leads me to how I felt last year when my rock bottom happened it all hit me...

I just don't have my clique.

I felt weird toward the end of last year, like I sometimes felt ..(was not always the case) ..like I was the one always texting asking to catch up, sending a Hi how are you or hey are you free/busy, would you like a play date, coffee catch up etc... it started feeling like I was a “needy” friend.. like I am always doing the asking.... so you decide to back off and wait to see if someone will text you, but life gets busy and thoughts cross our minds of like you know what, I need to text so an so.. and next thing its two weeks, two months later because life happens.. and that is life....

Oh don’t get me wrong I have friends here now :) ... people i know care about me and most importantly care about my daughter, and I know life is busy i get all that i truly do, this is just me putting my thoughts to print, but I miss my old clique of taking holidays together, the planning nights out, just planning things most weeks, ...(as this is only for me, my thoughts, my journey of getting back to me) but as a solo parent I really do enjoy my time with my daughter and I try to explore, holiday etc with her, but it does get.... lonely.... MY GOD IT GETS LONELY AT TIMES, when you want to share moments and experiences with people, I know this poor child of mine must get bored with hanging out with her old mama bear constantly. I care so much about her I don’t want her to feel lonely, I have spent so many of my years single - as in - no really long term partners.. and I was happy with that as I had my friends.. (now that is another blog for another time)

But when you move to a small town, these new friends have their group/their crew and it is harder to try and make those connections. I mean there is the rainbow...the best part, I have been crab potted and I love it, my daughter loves the true love she feels when she goes there, they welcome her as if family, Same when our dear friends invited us on a camping holiday, I appreciate it especially at the time the invite came.. MORE THEN YOU KNOW... the little invites...for coffee and play dates.. etc... to all those that have extended their hearts and kindness and friendship branch to the two of us... its lovely that you opened your hearts and home... to the both of us and made it easier to fit in once my barriers came down.... thank you for hanging in there for me.

And forgive me please forgive me for the invites I have not accepted, its not that I didn’t want to go, things may just have not felt right at that time to do those things, so please don’t give up on us.

My ex always told me hang in there once your daughter goes to school you will make mum friends, and those will be the ones that you will have stuff in common with ... and you know what he was right.. last year I did, I got the opportunity to meet some wonderful lovely and vibrant parents, and it was great, the spanner in the works now is my full time job, requires my daughter to be in before and after school care, so my actually getting to see these wonderful people will be few and far between. But facebook is a wonderful thing :)

Recently I spoke to someone about all the feelings I had been having about life since twenty ohhhhh one eight...and on this topic they gave me the best advice, she said don’t you dare hold back.... go into a relationship of friendship with all you got ...with all that you are. When you do this you set the basis for that “ship”..they will be the real friendships, the ones that last, the true friendships, if you want just surface friendships with just the hi’s etc and superficial-ness, then try never being the real you and holding the real you back in fear, then that is what that relationship of friendship will be... just superficial .. she said just go in and be you don't you dare hold back. :)

Im going to try and make new friends this year, and also be a better friend, make time for those I also haven’t seen in ages, and if you read this make sure you tell your friends you care, make plans, make dates, be silly with each other, love them, be there for them even when its for the little things.. send a quick hi, as you never know when they may not be here... This ones for you Kate.. Fly high fluffy duck you comedic genius #Haga xxxxxx

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ythmir-writes · 6 years

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Wish Upon A Star Ch01

Byron Wagner x MC Fandom: Midnight Cinderella

Summary: princesses can be stubborn when it involves bday gifts. but what do you give a king wanting for nothing?

No warnings

[Happy Birthday King Byron!! (better late than never!)]

A/N: in which i push the extent of how much transitioning i can get away with. also was supposed to be a birthday story but somewhere along the way, it lost that theme. insanely indulgent. but please consider giving it a look anyway.

spare some ko-fi?

inaccuracy: tanzanite was first coined in 1968. Obviously, it was not yet a word used in MidCin but ehhhh. I didn’t want it to be sapphires.

Chap 01

Prologue, Chap 02, Chap 03

The question had come up unexpected.

The princess had been busy minding her own dessert after a long and stressful meeting about the final details of food service, taking care to chew as slowly as possible as the best cream she had ever had was in her mouth. When all of a sudden, in an effort to pry information from her, one of the nobles with her at the table had said, “What will you be getting His Majesty on his birthday, your Highness?”

Her answer was automatic. Mechanical, even. “Dare to guess, your grace?”

Her evasive tone was lost to the chorus of laughter from the nobles, some even teasing her for being too coy. She joined them hoping that none would press the question further.

She wanted to keep what she had prepared a secret.

For the past few years, she had always given King Byron birthday presents she had made by hand. It was intimate. It was personal. She took pleasure in being able to give him something that remained just between them that was far from their roles as monarch of their own kingdoms. And if she was going to be completely honest, it never did satisfy her to simply purchase something for him. Those were good for tokens or moments when she missed him dearly; small gifts that said he was in her thoughts. But for an occasion as special and significant as his birthday, she wanted to give him something more personal than the rest.

This year however she had had to forego that.

This year, celebrations for King Byron’s birthday would not be held in Stein. Instead, Wysteria would host him and for the first time in decades, a foreign prince consort would be celebrated within Wysterian walls. To say that the princess elect wanted the entire affair to be seamlessly grand would be an understatement. She had even submitted herself to Giles’ hellish regime in her pursuit for the ball to be beyond reproach. And leave it to the Royal Chamberlain to be able to come up with a schedule spartan enough she could oversee everything that needed her attention, to ensure that the ball would be as majestic as the person it was intended for.

The obvious downside to her hands-on approach had been that she would be unable to make something for King Byron by hand. It had troubled her. Initially.

But she had been able to find something special.

“Her Highness is smiling!” Someone said.

“I bet she has the grandest of gifts for His Majesty.” Another gushed.

“Perhaps.” She replied. She was pleased with her choice and the fact that all she would need to do was to await its delivery.

But then, one by one the nobles started listing what they had planned to present to King Byron.

Prize-winning mares.

Ancient glasswares shipped from the southern empires.

Three hundred rifles.

A rare breed of orchid that blooms only once a year.

What?

She felt her smile getting thinner and thinner as one by one the nobles around her continued. It seemed less like they were giving birthday gifts and more like they were amassing a treasure horde - not that King Byron deserved any less, but -

“King Byron will not forget Wysteria’s generosity on his birthday.” One of the nobles then piped. Then, much to her horror, he turned his attention to her. Was he going to broach the subject again? “We are looking forward to the ball, your Highness.”

“It will be a very grand event.” At least that much she was still truly confident about. “As is befitting our guest.”

“And we are looking forward to what you will give too!”

Like hell, I -

But then, Giles suddenly appeared beside her, leaning forward slightly to whisper in her ear.

She had never been more thankful for him interrupting afternoon tea, even if it was to say that a certain Steiner knight had arrived ahead of schedule to coordinate with her about King Byron’s birthday ball. She had excused herself with a smile. But as she had left the nobles listing away, an uneasiness had come unbidden and rooted itself in her chest.

Her birthday present, the one she had so painstakingly searched for and procured, suddenly felt small.

Miniscule, even.

“Giles, wait.” She called out, stopping just before they entered the throne room.

“Yes, my lady?”

“What are you getting Byron for his birthday?”

Giles looked confused for a moment but answered all the same. “We commissioned a set of decorative weapons for him.”

“A… a set of decorative...?”

“Well, I suppose they should stay as decorative weapons. The scabbard of the sword alone has a dozen tanzanites after all.”

She wondered how she could have missed it. She should have been more aware. No, she should have anticipated her court’s tendency to outdo one another even in the smallest things.

While she had been busy preparing the celebration, the Wysterian Court had taken it upon themselves to best each other with their birthday presents to the Steiner King.

And they were proving to be highly successful.

Though she was happy they were supportive - towards a foreign king no less - she wished they were less enthusiastic at competing who would give the most dazzling present. It was all well and good that they were doing so in merry spirits. And she hoped, true generosity. But the more they boasted, the less her gift seemed to be of value.

Not as incomparable as she had originally thought. What in the world had she been thinking?

Could she get him another present in time?

Should she?

“Alyn and I are giving him this.” Leo Crawford answered in turn when she visited him in their manor to ask what he and his twin Alyn had prepared. It was an intricately carved hunting knife inside an exquisite ornate black box. It looked as deadly as it was beautiful. “He enjoys falconry, right?”

“Yes.” She replied, feeling both envious and happy for King Byron. “This looks sublime.”

“I’m glad you approve.” Leo answered. “But did not Alyn accompany you when..?” He left the question hanging, a small knowing smile on his lips at seeing her frown. “Ah. Well. It’s not a competition, princess, despite the hubbub.”

“Louis is going to gift him a gilded cage for Spinner.”

“And Sid?”

“He’s keeping a lid on it. But I think, a bottle of rare wine. Or twelve. He’s been to his vineyards more often.”

“I’m sure that whatever you give His Majesty, he is going to treasure it.” Giles added, for the umpteenth time then, trying to reassure her as she sunk deeper into the sofa. “You have prepared the ball yourself, princess. Is that not a gift in itself?”

“It’s not the same.” She murmured, sullen.

“What are you giving him giving him anyway?” Leo asked as he closed the box. “Alyn won’t say.”

Alyn glared. “Why should I?”

“It’s been quite the talk of the court, you know.” Leo answered. “Archduke Sannes won’t shut up about how you’re planning on giving him one of our territories to the north.”

“I am not giving Byron an island.”

“So, what is it then?”

All of them looked at her at the same time and she squirmed in her boots and heavy coat. She could have handled it if it had been done individually. But with three pairs of eyes staring at her, all of them part of her inner circle, she found herself relenting.

“Don’t laugh.”

“We won’t.”

“I see you smirking Alyn!”

“Because you’re being dramatic about candy!”

“Candy?” Leo and Giles asked in unison.

“Not just any candy!” She retorted, defiant to the bitter end.

#midnight cinderella #byron wagner #ythmir fanfics #ythmir writes

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maitaitiu · 5 years

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hewo i decided to write a little fic bc its the 7th bday of pkmn bw2 i think.

its also on wattpad and ao3 if youd prefer to read it there

oh also pls dont rb this !!!

Title: Today.

Summary: Today, seven years ago, Nate was gifted a pokémon at the same time as his friend and neighbour: Rosa, atop the Aspertia outlook. That day, along with their mutual friend, Hugh, they had set off on a journey across their home region of Unova.Today, now, Nate reminisces while sitting at that very place he first met his pokémon partner.

Word count: 1510 *****

Today.

June the twenty-third.

Nate was sitting on a bench on the Aspertia outlook, and apart from the pidove that were pecking at some leaves on the ground on the opposite side of the platform, he was alone, staring out across the water and at the distant mountain range.

It was hard to think that today was the seven year anniversary of him becoming a trainer.

Rosa was celebrating on the battlefield of the Aspertia gym- because some people liked to celebrate the years they've spent with their pokémon, along with her mom, as well as Hugh, Cheren, Bianca, of course her entire team, and some other friends she'd made on her own journey, which she'd started the same day as Nate:

June the twenty-third.

Today.

He was nineteen now. Rosa the same. Hugh was twenty. Cheren and Bianca were twenty-three. He was a completely different person to who he was back then, and he wondered if he hadn't gone on his journey, would he have changed so much?

There was no way to tell, and while he was curious, he didn't consider it imperative that he found out.

On the exact one-year anniversary of his journey beginning, it very nearly came to an abrupt end.

It was odd.

Six years ago,

Today,

He'd stood in that icy cavern, face to face with a man who fit the definition of evil to a 'T', and the empty husk of a once-great Dragon.

Nate had felt bad for that Dragon, Kyurem. It had been in pain, it had been scared, and it was under that man's- Ghetsis' - control.

Even now, although Nate couldn't bring himself to return to Humilau, let alone anywhere near the giant chasm, he felt no resentment towards the Dragon. It wasn't in control of itself.

But it had still attacked him, with that move- Glaciate- which had created exactly seven spears of ice, each twice as long as he was tall, as sharp as Hugh's tongue in the metaphorical sense, and all equally as terrifying as each other.

He'd closed his eyes and bit his lip to stop himself from screaming back then, six years ago,

on June the twenty-third,

Today,

and had suddenly felt a rush of heat after an unfamiliar voice had called out- "Reshiram, Fusion Flare!"

He'd been saved, that day, by the second of three parts of the original Dragon, and its friend- Natural Harmonia, the Hero of Truth, who just generally went by N.

After that incident, Nate had run into N once, maybe twice.

Not that there was any real way to have a conversation with a person who quite literally saved your life the first time you met them, and then proceeded to have kind of a breakdown when faced with their quote-on-quote father, who then also had a breakdown but not an upset one, it was more so that his mind essentially just broke, and then those weird shadow-people appeared and teleported him away.

And that was apparently just the end of it.

How on earth were you meant to have a regular conversation with someone like that?

Nate couldn't think of one.

He yawned- it was about ten at night- and he was pretty tired. The sun had only just begun to set, an orange glow was bleeding out across the water that Nate was watching absentmindedly. Sunset had always been his favourite time of day.

and Today's was no different.

He'd promised Hugh and Rosa that he'd come and join the party as well at some point, and they'd nodded, understanding that June the twenty-third wasn't all happy memories for Nate, and Rosa had smiled, saying that she'd save him a soda, and Hugh joked that since it was oran flavoured that no, she wouldn't. Rosa had punched Hugh on the arm jokingly and ran off towards the gym, challenging Hugh to a race as she did.

"That's unfair!" Hugh had shouted back, before giving Nate a look- opening his mouth like he wanted to say something else, but clearly thought better of it as after a moment's pause that lasted forever, he just said, "See you later, then." and ran after Rosa.

Of course, Nate could have been overthinking, and so he left it at that.

He checked the time on his X-Transceiver- it was thirty-three minutes past ten. He should probably head down soon.

The battlefield where everyone was hanging out was actually partially visible from the outlook, and every so-often, someone would say something loud enough in their laughter and glee that Nate would catch it.

Some particularly odd snippets included:

"A fucking persim berry?!"

"How the hell is a skitty like a carrot?!"

and one from Cheren, which was, "Get those damn safety scissors away from my hair, Bianca!"

As it got later into the night, most of Nate's friends- especially Rosa- became far easier to make laugh. They weren't night-owls like Nate (and Bianca, actually) was, and tiredness made them giddy and so their conversations ended up having a certain amount of silliness to them, and even Nate, who was a lot more stoic than he used to be, ended up in fits of giggles.

Today

had been a lot more relaxed than most of Nate's days.

Since he was fifteen- three years into him being a trainer, two years after the Incident- he'd become properly employed by PokéStar Studios, and just a few months ago he'd moved out of his mom's place, and got a quaint little apartment in Floccesy.

It wasn't so far from Virbank that he struggled to get there whenever he was needed for filming, but not so close that he was drowning in the constant bustle of the city.

Nate wasn't at all made for city living. Maybe he used to be, but since he went on a journey, he became fond of the far quieter, more humble lifestyle that came with travelling, and camping most of the time.

Even so, as he'd steadily climbed his way up the movie-star ladder to getting bigger and more interesting roles, Nate had acquired something of a fanbase. Of course, it was nowhere near as huge as Rosa's, since she was the current Champion, but it was enough that sometimes he'd get stopped while he was just trying to purchase some vegetables from the outdoor market, or whatever.

He stood up, and stretched. He'd better head down now, lest all his friends begin to get worried about him.

With one final look over the barrier at the sunset, a dark orange now, streaks of purple and tiny stars starting to appear in the sky, Nate set off down the stairs toward the main part of Aspertia.

When he reached the street, he set off at a jog, stopping in a corner-store to purchase a packet of mini ring-donuts as something of an apology for taking so long, and yet, as he approached the gym he noted that it seemed oddly quiet all of a sudden.

He frowned as he pushed his way through the double-doors, taking a moment to smooth out his shirt.

Why have they all gone quiet?

Nate strode through the gym, his legs reaching over full tiles, which they didn't the very first time he'd come here,

Today,

seven years ago,

and as he pushed through the doors to the battle-field, the same way he had done back then, on that day, he jumped slightly as all of his friends, and also both his mom and Rosa's mom, leaped out from his peripheral vision, some of them with party poppers, and shouted,

"Happy seventh trainer-versary!"

Nate felt a smile immediately appear on his face, as he threw the donuts at Rosa who stuck her tongue out at him- as she knew it was a silent joke about her old go-to hairstyle- and Hugh threw his arm around Nate.

"You took your time," Hugh commented, as everyone began to disperse once more after throwing small jokes at Nate about him taking a while, "Did'ya take a nap or something?"

"You can't say much," Nate rolled his eyes, "Your timing was way behind everyone else with your shouting."

"Oh whatever, you jerk," Hugh took his arm from around Nate's shoulders, and instead grabbed both of his hands with his own, and Nate was spun in a circle, "You're here now, anyway."

"I am," Nate grinned, as they both spun, "Is my promised soda still around?"

"Surprisingly, yeah!" Hugh nodded over at the podium that Cheren usually would be stood on, awaiting any challengers, which was now covered in various snacks, as well as a boombox, "You can thank Bianca for that, though, she held the can above Rosie's head 'til she got bored."

Nate snickered, "Nice."

He and Hugh spun over to the podium, and Nate was still smiling wider than he would in the most cheerful of scenes on set.

Yeah, Nate thought, as Hugh pointed to where his soda was partially hidden behind a tub of hard-boiled candies, this is a good way to end

today.

#writing? on MY tumblr?#also this isnt in tmthats universe. just. thought id say #hbd to my fav pokemon games ever.... *kis*#there is... greys.kyship. if u squint. at it.#anywaye.

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ddrkirbyisq · 5 years

Link

This month is definitely a bit of a rush...after coming back from the Asia trip, I had but a short time to catch my breath and then it was onto the celebration of my 30th. I had better write about that now I guess? This was quite definitely the best birthday I've ever had. Of course, it also tends to sometimes fall around the time of the spring Ludum Dare event, so sometimes the timing is weird, but even without taking that into consideration, this was by far the best it's ever been. I wrote in 2012 that "birthdays are a reminder of how little attention people put into me and how often I can be taken for granted, as well as a reminder of the imbalances in my relationships with other people." and that sentiment was definitely an honest one at the time. Whether these perceived imbalances were ignorantly self-inflicted or through no fault of my own is up for debate, but I definitely had not found the types of social connections that I had truly desired, and would not until the coming years (though I had at the least gotten a lot closer than before). It was because of this (along with my own knee-jerk reactions to oppose social trends) that I originally started to deactivate my Facebook account every time my birthday rolled around -- it left me with a disgusting feeling really, that horde of people who now suddenly bothered enough to type a meaningless message to me, but only because of an automated Facebook reminder. Realizing that that automated birthday reminder had spurred them onto more action than anything else of our relationship during the 364 other days of the year was a terrible thought. Of course, the family celebrations didn't really help, as usually they feel like little more than rituals for their benefit and not mine (still working on that one -- but at least I have gotten them to start picking from my wishlist so I don't also leave with wholly impractical gifts). Yet somehow after 30 years I managed to get together a great group of people whom I not only cared about but who also cared about me. It was pretty astounding when I thought about it, I really was struck by the group that surrounded me that day and I think that day may ought to really serve as a sort of marker for myself in my life. I planned some great activities, we had a lot of fun, and I had great help as well. From one friend helping with tea, another helping with food preparation, another helping with miscellaneous logistics, it was truly amazing to finally have gotten together such dependable people. Just read that post from 2012 that I linked -- what a difference! Of course, we also totally rocked the Roosevelt Escape Room -- great success, and I felt quite proud of the team. I think we had a great mix of both people who tried to think very quickly on their feet (me) and people who tried to be more methodic and careful (i.e. catching everyone else's mistakes). And with that, all those people sending me short messages, somehow didn't really feel so bad anymore. Of course, that being over, it's right into the next thing...Ludum Dare 44 is coming up this weekend! I've been doing a bunch of prep, including updating to Unity 2019, testing some things to make sure they still work, and also setting up and testing some things for itch.io! itch.io is sort of like the "Bandcamp of game distribution" and I've always been a fan of them and the developers that gather on their platform despite not having used them. I do plan on trying to copy over all of our existing games over to itch, but it looks like that might (???) have to wait until after the dust from LD44 settles, as most of our recent games are actually domain-locked to avoid nasty people coming and stealing them onto their own sites. I've added a rule to allow for itch.io hosting and tested that all to make sure it works, but I still have to go about recompiling all of the old games (probably also updating them to Unity 2019, hopefully not breaking anything in the process?), and setting up each of the project pages, etc etc etc. and that is something I just don't have the time for right now. But I am at least set up to upload our LD44 entry onto itch. Part of the reason I wanted to set up itch.io in the first place is because I think it does great discoverability for LD games, especially since the LD site itself has never been great at that. (Not to mention, I might want to use itch to distribute Rhythm Quest as well!) Anyways, Unity 2019 seems to be working well (the itch.io tests also gave me some chances to verify that older games are working fine after the upgrade, which is important since there were some bugs that I had been working around and the workaround are deprecated, so good to know that the root issues were also fixed), and I've updated my unity template project as well as forked it over and made the repo. Other things I still need to do before LD44: - Draw some 100x100 pixel art for this month's "Monthlies" album. I knew this would sneak up on me even before I left for Asia...I was going to try starting this today, but then I got sidetracked by some more of the itch.io stuff and now this blog post...ugh. Will have to try again tomorrow. Need to get it done before LD since the end of the month is really soon after LD ends. - Laundry! - Do a big grocery run on Friday and get lots of food and snacks :D - If I have time, there's a boatload of letters I could probably catch up on...but not sure if that will happen =X maybe will try to at least get to one or two... - Keep recovering physically and don't get sick... Things that will NOT get done before LD44: - I have a famitracker song that I "sort of finished" on the trip to Asia but might try to flesh out (or just call it done and master it). - Have a music commission on deck (due mid-july) - Also a remix to do for an arrange album (due august) - All the itch.io stuff - Potentially hosting a GCC dance on the 18th, but leaving that up in the air based on what I feel like doing. - There won't be another full-on JaSmix event for this quarter, but I will host the usual Summer event. I've already done an initial reachout, now I just need to pick a good date. Well, on the plus side, I'm somehow still cruising along and handling everything despite having a full-time job. I do feel like I'm taking care of a lot of things...just keeping on chugging along like I do best.

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