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Just for you Kay :) As requested, the coast angst list. I didn’t have becoming an angst enjoyer on my 2023 bingo card BUT HERE WE ARE NOW! So here is a countdown of my favorite angsty moments you wrote. I love them all so much<3 (sorry I warned you it was long lol)

7. “Nothing’s fucking changed. The words reverberate through Sirius’ skull, bounce off bone and brain alike. Because if nothing’s changed, then what is he doing here? If nothing’s changed, why are they still trying? If nothing’s changed, what are they fighting for? Regulus wouldn’t do all of this if he didn’t care. He wouldn’t be trying so hard to push him away if he didn’t want him to stay in the first place. It’s a test that Sirius has both failed and passed in equal measure at different points in their lives. He’s not going to fail it now.” - THE SWING SCENE (!!!) like honestly it would be criminal to make a coast angst list and not include something from the swing and also Sirius being so determined to do things right has me all in the feels

6. “Regulus isn’t like Sirius, he can’t just throw everything away, take such monumental change in stride. He works so fucking hard to be perfect. He just wants to achieve it, just wants to know that even once his parents look at him and see something worth being proud of. […] Sirius failed, gave up, and now Regulus has a full shot. He just wants to feel it. Just once.” - little perfectionist baby who needs a hug and is so beautifully tragic 🥺

5. “I love him, Sirius,” James says sternly. Like that’s the only argument he needs. Like it’s going to be what makes all the difference. “Yeah.” Sirius nods, lips pressing in a hard line as he attempts a difficult deep inhale through his nose. “So do I. And that’s never been enough.” - CAN YOU HEAR THE SOUNDS OF MY HEART FRAGMENTING??

4. “In truth, it should be something Sirius hopes for. Something that he’s thankful for. Maybe James has a power that he doesn’t. Maybe James can get through to Regulus in a way that Sirius has tried and tried and tried again, but actually be successful about it. Maybe James is the secret weapon that he didn’t know he needed. Sirius hates that possibility the most, he thinks. […] He doesn’t want to rely on James to fix this, to be the hero in the way that James Potter is known to do. James might have saved Sirius in his own right, but Sirius doesn’t think he wants him to be the one to save Regulus, too.” - ashdjffk like I have so many feelings about this part. I feel Sirius here. I feel it down to my bones. And yet I’m also screaming at him like LET JAMES HELP YOU. DO IT TOGETHER. But also like I totally get it you know?? Ugh the JUICIEST ANGST I TELL YOU !!!

3. “Regulus misses James. He fucking hates that it’s a thing he has to acknowledge, but there’s no avoiding it. It mixes with the cocktail of all his other complicated emotions at present. He’s worrying about having enough time for his brother and he’s missing James. Dread for what’s to come after tomorrow when the Greengrasses arrive. Missing James. There’s indignation toward his parents for making him feel small, using him as they see fit, sucking the god damn life out of him. There’s missing James. He wants to tear his fucking hair out. It’s all too much, he feels fit to burst with it. The opportunity to explode isn’t given to him, and it’s not fair. None of it is fucking fair. He’s twenty years old, he’s not supposed to feel like this. He has to do something about it, let some of it out. He’s unsure of which part, but he can’t keep carrying all of it; he’s going to pieces even as he lays there unmoving, his best friends completely unaware of the hurricane that rages in his head.” - HE JUST FEELS SO MUCH KAY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

2. “If I leave now, I’ll never get to say goodbye to her.” […] “And you’re not fucking treating her death like a finish line.” Barty’s eyes turn cold again as he stares him down. “You don’t get to fucking do that.” - omg THIS. SCENE. so incredible. Like jaw on the floor when I read it. Like the false hope and then the absolute abrupt shift that comes after?! I MEAN. I’m actually struggling to find words here so I’m just gonna use yours instead: “Regulus’ hopes are too lofty now, reaching for stars that aren’t lit.”

1. Softly, he manages, “James, I really just need you to trust me.”“Regulus—” “I know I’m asking for a lot.” Regulus cuts him off, tone bordering on desperate. Desperate to be heard. Desperate to be understood. Desperate to be forgiven for it all. “I do, I know that. But you’re asking a lot of me, too.” […] “Only one of us is actually getting what we’re asking for, though,” James points out. “I know,” Regulus murmurs. “That’s not fair, baby,” James says sadly. Somehow the use of the endearment is just as painful as his name right now. Regulus can’t fucking win. “I know,” He repeats in a whisper. - I will have you know that this scene has not left my brain since I read it the first time. This is like THE scene that comes to mind when I think about coast. Iconic. Incredible. Stunning. Beautiful. Heartbreaking. There are not enough words to describe how I feel about this moment, I love it so much 😭

Honorable mentions:

“James hasn’t had to live with these people, hasn’t seen the sort that they are, he’s safe from it. Sirius is now, too, not living at home for the last several years. Regulus does his best not to continuously subject his older brother to the very horrors he worked to free himself from.” - I stuck this in honorable mentions because it’s not like The Most angsty but also like…Regulus trying to shield Sirius so he can actually have the clean break he wanted?! I can’t actually.

“You can hate your life and blame your parents all you want, but at the end of the day, who’s the one that’s actually cut you the deepest, hm?” Barty looks far too pleased with himself as he goes on. - okay this one also landed in honorable mentions because out of context it doesn’t look the most angsty but in the scene?!? That one cut DEEP 💀

Lol okay phew REMEMBER I WARNED YOU IT WAS LONG! Merry Christmas MWAH<33

OKAY SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET BACK TO THIS. was a bit wild today, but also i had to read it like six times bc i was getting in my feelings and simultaneously kicking my feet over your choices agsjsnsksndkfk

oh i really done did it to them in coast, didn’t i? dear god. your 1 and 2 choices are actually two of my favorites too, but all of the angst in coast just makes my heart feel sooo so much to write it, there’s so much feeling and so much thought i pack in there, and knowing that it hits this kind of way for others makes me feel like i did what i was setting out to and just.. warm and fuzzy lol so for reeeal. real and truly. from the bottom of my heart. thank you for sharing with me, long list or not. and thank you for READING coast in the first place, bc it’s truly my child of all children and means the world to me. sorry i’ll probably continue to hurt your feelings with it in the back half of the fic LOL. ILY MWAH<3