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sootygoggles · 4 years

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Parent!Paranoia Sanders Sides AU!

No explanation, but I'll probably give the backstory later. For now: memes of Paranoia being an A-class parent and a chaos gremlin. (okay it started as memes but then just ended up as fleshing the AU out)

Paranoia, worried abt his kids: I'm uhhhh gonna go to my room see ya later light sides

Paranoia, sneaking back into the subconscious to check on his now teenaged children: I'm gonna leave duke a r a t that I found and thought looked cool

Duke, waking up the next morning and yelling for 'Nesty bc "HOLY CRAP NESTY LOOK AT THIS RAT ISN'T SHE ADORABLE I WANNA HANG HER ON THE WALL": !!!!!!!!!!

Paranoia gets a habit of sitting on the fridge because his children were wild as kids and sometimes duke comin at you with a knife warrants jumping onto counters

Nesty, who doesnt get paid to deal with duke: I'm raiding dads liquor cabinet it's my due for putting up with this

Paranoia, physically manifesting: put the key to the liquor cabinet D O W N, Honesty

The lights are confused as to why he disappears at random times of the day and night and he just "leave me TF alone before I leave you a goshdarn diddly P R E S E N T while youre sleeping I'm tired"

patton: my child! my dark strange son!!

paranoia, who has children: ,,,,yea ok

Patton ticks him off so he leaves a big halloween decor spider on his bed and nobody sleeps for weeks after that bc pattons too scared to touch it and paranoia maybeperhaps glued it onto his cover

He's like one of those people you know might mean well but ooooooo boy theyre pushin buttons

Paranoia, whos fav animal/insect is spiders and whose children have tarantulas and snakes on the regular: hes not even realistic!! You need to learn to get along with mr sparkles patton!! look at him. he's fluffy!

He has googly eyes and glitter on him at all times of course hes named mr sparkles

paranoia gets to be a little petty. as a treat

Paranoia just carries bags of glitter around and whenever mr sparkles gets duller he takes mr sparkles to the kitchen counter and he dumps glitter on him

Logan and patton are tired of cleaning up bc paranoias just petty enough to make their counters eternally sparkly

"why is there glitter all over the kitchen?"

paranoia, holding mr sparkles: :)

Paranoia, after AA: I hate purple but they dont know that now do they

Paranoia is actually orange the last side is purple lol

Chaos Gremlin dark sides and nobody is surprised bc paranoia raised them

paranoia, going back to see his teen children after acting like a teen all day: what is up, fellow kids

honesty: i am going to lose it

Wrath, coming to yell at them to keep it down: why are you purple I'm purple

Paranoia, cackling bc finally I can get out of this horrible color: *snaps fingers * I'M PARANOIA MOTHERTRUCKERS HAVE FUUUNNNNN I'M GONNA BE MAKING YOUR LIVES LIVING HELL FROM THIS POINT FORWARDS

duke and nesty, pumped for halloween bc u l t i m a t e s p o o k: :D

paranoia, coming out in a traffic cone costume with a shit eating grin on his face: :D

Paranoia, decorating for halloween bc "oh I'm sorry it's just the *sniffles * homesickness and we a l w a y s decorated for halloween" knowing full well all of his decorations are spider and witch themed bc they all like the salem witch trials

He leaves ONE fake snake in romans cereal and the lights just. Lose it. Hes kicked back into the subconscious to be chaotic with his kids, no new side, just the hours upon hours of film hes gotten from the bugs hed placed around the unconscious and a plan for the next several movie nights

He gets back and honesty is w h e e z i n g bc he was watching through the cracks and they make a fail compilation of the light sides

It takes like two months for the lights to just go insane with him around not due to yknow paranoia but bc hes such a gremlin

Patton asks if he was raised by wolves and he shoves mr sparkles at patton saying "take the issue of how I was raised up with my father, a-hole!!"

He doesnt actually curse he just yells "A-HOLE" so loud his kids can hear

They dont find out he's a dad until hes summoned and hes making cookies or smt with the kids and hes in a bright orange stereotypical witch outfit,,, corset and all and an apron that says "worlds most chaotic dad" on the front

And hes talking to one of the kids like "duke you can only put dish soap in your batch nesty cant digest it like you can"

Patton has an apron that says worlds least chaotic 'dad' courtesy of paranoia he made it himself(read: he stole pattons good apron and scribbled over it in sharpie)

Paranoia is always close to cackling when around the lights bc theyre newbs to any chaos

Roman and remus are twins but roman is the kind of kid to promptly forget abt anyone and logan n patton knew remus less than a day before he "disappeared" aka ran to the subconscious to explore and theyve just kinda blocked him out

Logans fine with it and actually likes the decorations tho he has asked if they had to be so brightly coloured and if there had to be so much glitter

I say decorations but hes a secret gremlin at heart and is super close to snickering at all times bc of the pranks

Also yes paranoia mildly dads roman it's great but he dads in an older sibling type way

So pat and logan are all "hes fitting in as an older brother well" and they tell him abt their approval of his older brother chaos and hes just like "no this is how I am deal with it nothing to do with brothers" bc hes not telling them abt his kids he doesnt trust them

Hes up at like midnight complaining with logan abt how patton doesnt let him be full chaos gremlin and logan says "mmmhmm did your parents in the dark side let you go wild with the chaos" and paranoia just,,,,, looks at him, dead in the eyes, and says "I dont have parents"

Cue logan being confusion

Paranoia, who genuinely didn't have parents: my parents are mr sparkles and the cat we've had for my entire life

Logan, who doesnt know they had a cat and is now worried bc "are you taking care of it???": ???

Paranoia: it's great for keeping the Others in line tho I just say "do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin" and they do their chores while I'm making dinner

logan, incredibly confused: i don't know what you mean but ok

Paranoia: yeah theyre dumb but it's the level of dumb youd expect from my idiots

Or he slips up and refers to them as his children/kids and logan, not realizing they have an Actual Father/Sons relationship/age difference(paranoias abt.late 20s early 30s, remus defies all logic and has been about 9-10 for a few years now, and dees like early teens) just says "huh how.interesting would it be to have to deal with people your age that immature" and paranoias just. "Y e a h t h e y r e t o t a l l y t h e s a m e a g e a s I a m"

Duke is very much baby and upon seeing duke eating glue paranoia and honesty the idiots decided to try it too

theyre so dumb dsdhdhdhjsdh

They AREEE and paranoia, after discovering that duke has the h a r d i e s t immune system they decide to test exactly what he can and cannot safely eat bc he may be dumb but hes also def a Dad and he just wants to take care of his kids and if that includes making sure that duke can safely consume toilet bleach then so be it

Duke can eat almost anything short of actual cyanide but cyanide just makes him sick like stomach bug sick

He somehow gets a fever,,,,, he has it for like half an hour and paranoia is amazed

Hes in bed,,,,, paranoia makes him soup,,,,,, hes all better and running around again

Paranoias parenting rules:

Dont murder your brothers pls

Do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin

Glitter is always a yes

Insults are fine just make sure you dont overstep and make your brothers insecure

all of them are printed and then the last one is scrawled at the bottom in

If you get sick, tell him immediately bc he will find out and he will be the most obsessive parent to make sure you feel better ASAP

If your pronouns/name/function change, tell him immediately, he'll make sure you dont feel uncomfortable as well as he can

Duke dont put dish soap in honestys baked goods you know he cant digest it

It's a nice system for making chaos but keeping it manageable

They're all printed then the last one's scrawled in glitter gel pen and duke wrote a reply that said (I'm sorry yall dont have as good an immune system as I do)

There was a whole passive aggressive arguement on the bulletin for the next week before it got taken down to make room for dukes art

They eventually started just putting them up over each other and using magnets instead of thumbtacks

The entire bottom portion of the walls are painted in chalkboard paint so theres no unerasable drawing on the walls and the rest of the paint is magnetic so they can hang pieces everywhere

Dukes improving rapidly tho and doesnt like looking at his old art all the time so paranoia holds onto the drawings in several filing cabinets in case he ever wants to do redraws or needs his original prints to make something in the Imagination

also bc,,, sentimental

jus a little

Yeah bc "yes my child draws nothing but blood gore and new animals but hes a creative genius and I love all of his art"

Roman: anxiety I can see why you left

Paranoia: ??? What?? It's spoopy season??

Roman: there was BLOOD on the WALLS

Paranoia, internally: oh!!!! Duke perfected his blood recipe!!!!

Paranoia, externally: how did it taste?

Roman: WHO TASTES THE BLOOD ON THE WALLS?!?!

Paranoia: if it tasted like lemons or citrus you need to stay off of most foods, stick to crackers and broth- don't eat anything heavy until you're sure you wont throw it up

Patton, who was making cereal: ????

Also!!!! @iliveinprocrasti-nation Thanks for helping me flesh this AU out!!!

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friendofhayley · 4 years

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ship history meme

Embrace your past and get to know your friends’ fandom origins!

Rules: Post gifs of your fandoms / ships starting with your most current hyperfixation and work backwards. (Bonus points if you share any stories about how or when you got into that ship! But not necessary!!) Then tag anyone whose fandom history you’d like to learn about!

Tagged by the most gorgeous, smartest, sweetest, and kindest person in my life @sightetsound <3 Sorry y’all, I have a lot of hyperfixations and I’m on NyQuil!

1. Katsuki Bakugo and Eijiro Kirishima, My Hero Academia - I literally can’t watch Season 4 until it’s finished because my heart will Explode if I’m left on a cliffhanger involving these too!!! (Unbreakable T.T <3) I don’t usually like animes but I fell in love with his trash bastard and his soft rock boyfriend by the villain’s attack in S1. It all started when I got a TikTok because a Very Hot Bakugo cosplayer was on there. (Literally, their rendition of Bakugo is just, umph. They have appeared in my dream.). As she got more popular he started cosplaying more of Class 1-A of MHA, and I kept wondering?? What the fuck is this anime about?? Why is there an alien girl?? I soon gave in and watched the show to gain context to this thirst trap. I have so many feels for these boys, even though I don’t post on them much here, and T.T

2. Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane, Shadowhunters - I literally almost wrote my thesis because of this ship. I got into Shadowhunters because I was depressed in a foreign, racist country where I couldn’t go outside alone because old white men would corner me on the street, and everyone was talking about how Mike from Glee was kissing a guy at a wedding? Instead of partying during my study abroad trip, I gobbled down Malec content. And like who wouldn’t?? Harry Shum Jr. was playing a bisexual warlock?? And he had lines and a main character role??? An interracial couple where the characters are both POC?? Sign me up! But then I quickly fell in love with awkward gayby Alec and immediately knew how it felt to be in his shoes. (Disclaimer: I still haven’t finished the show because I don’t want their story to end, but just seeing their wedding scene????? Tears!!!!!!!!!! Both wedding scenes! I-) I just love how soft they look at each as they realize how lucky they are to be able to fall in love against the odds. T.T They deserve the world and all the warlock and shadowhunter babies and T.T This is just going to devolve into me crying so-

3. Stiles Stilinski and Derek Hale, Teen Wolf - I got into Teen Wolf to escape the hellfire that had become the Glee fandom around S3-S4. (Tbh it might have been Dereklei’s constant Sterek content on my dash that led me to give in.) Stiles was bi (through subtext) and definitely turned on by an older werewolf. What more could a depressed Gleek ask for? And listen - now looking back, Sterek is definitely gay Twilight - if Bella was snarkier, had a mental illness, and also a personality. Sterek was the ship to get me back into writing fanfiction and where I could read paranormal characters working through PTSD, ADHD, and other mental illnesses while fighting monsters and having unrealistic sex! I also love those future fics where Beacon Hills isn’t a Hellmouth anymore, and everyone’s alive and just living as one big found family. Truly, Derek deserves the world and I love him so much, and Stiles definitely agrees.

4. Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, One Direction - If it’s a surprise that I’m a dark larrie, please read my bio. HL made me believe that love is real and exists and can last for years. I got into One Direction in 2011 through a Lilo fanfic, but as soon as I watched the Video Diaries,,,we knew. Louis has saved my life in ways I can’t describe and the songs that they’ve written for each other through their tough times are so inspiring to listen and dance to. Seeing how they’ve been dragged apart by management, Sony Entertainment, and the whole music industry as a whole even though they exist in glass closets is very disheartening to see. But their resilience that they show through their art (Only the Brave, Sweet Creature, If I Could Fly, and like so many others) is always there. If you want to fall in this rabbit hole, look at freddieismyqueen on YT and come inside lol. Larry is real.

5. Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson, Glee - the ship that got me on Tumblr! I didn’t start watching Glee until the summer before S2 came out. My whole choir was into it and I didn’t want to be “mainstream”, but Kurt was the first openly gay teen character that I saw on TV. When I heard a character played by Darren Criss, a musical theater YT legend from AVPM, I had to watch it. I ended up binging the first season with those Netflix DVDs during summer break (yeah remember when Netflix wasn’t streaming? lol). I watched every episode of that god-forsaken show the night of (or night after illegally, hidden from my parents) for that ship, and then me and my best friend would rant about it for the whole week: rinse and repeat. The episode they got together made me scream and I definitely put those Glee Rewind songs in my iPhone. (Fun fact: I used to cry at night because I wished someone like Kurt could love me like that because I heavily related to Blaine and his whole situation). I naturally stopped watching Glee the moment they broke them up and I’m still mad at their hasty attempt to marry them out of nowhere with no well-written getting together / make-up arc other than Jigsaw?? and a barn wedding?? As if Hummel would. What a trash fire. But dang, Glee fanfics have some of the dirtiest, kinkiest, forbidden fics out there. If you were ever on Glee_Kink_Meme on LJ, you know.

6. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter - the ship that started it all, the big kahuna, the ultimate enemies to lovers for 90s kids. Drarry got me into the fandom world in middle school, where I basically lived on FFN and LJ while pretending to do my homework. I used to get ready every day by watching the same playlist of “The best Harry Potter videos on Youtube!” (curated by Ariel333Lindt, who was the only queer person I knew but lived in Eastern Europe, where I could see two gay people kiss and fall in love in the safety of my room through badly photoshopped videos. Please check out that playlist). I just love how each fic is a microcosm where they have to construct how magical systems work, the backstories of pureblood families, creatures, or just wizarding culture for the end goal of having Drarry fuck and fall in love! I love redemption arcs that take 200k to achieve, I love dark!Harry takes, and every single different damn take on Narcissa, Pansy, and Millicent - because deep down that’s the writer trying to come to turns on whether or not Draco should be redeemed to get together with Harry. (I mean we all know they’re obsessed with each other, book 6 anyone?) I feel like Drarry fics have the best worldbuilding and characterizations of these characters, and I just love those moments when Draco and Harry take a moment to take a breath together and realize how far they’ve come. No one else can understand how it felt to be the pariah or the chosen one, they both interacted with Voldemort the most, and they have the most history together. They should have gotten together! But I mean the author’s dead, am I right?

So that was a lot! Those are all the ships that impacted me that I still participate with. They have shaped me for better or worse, and have made me learn more about who I am and what I want (or don’t want) in a relationship. This was the most fun essay I’ve ever written on NyQuil!

I’m tagging @homosociallyyours because I really want to know your fandom story! Also @stozierbrak because I love you and must hear you gush about your boys. I’m also tagging @iamaqualady because you’re literally the most intriguing person I know and I’m glad we’re friends even though we haven’t interacted that much? ish?

#tag #me #kiribaku #drarry #sterek

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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She's the kind to be like "i'll kill for you", it's all fun and games until she actually means and/or does it. I'm assuming it's the same if not similar in the books? it's just so annoying to see a character treat everyone, including the man she is supposed to be in love with like shit and have it just be "well that just makes her a good mum" like idk this kind of devotion isn't healthy for her or Ciri either.

I read a lot of posts all over talking about yen and why people do and don't like her and it's all "you have to get past the cold rude arrogant outside to learn deep down she does care", or there was this one said people take what she says as who she is over what she does, as if she isn't saying AND doing terrible things, but there was this other one that was "actions don't define you as a person" that was a fucking ride to read through.

Anyway I'm just kinda miffed cause I went in to this trying really hard and wanting to like yen but she's so unlikable it's crazy. Maybe if her first few scenes weren't her being rude to Geralt for no real reason (and that snark about him and amnesia like BRO??) there wouldve been something to build off? Idkkkk

tysm for letting me talk about this! there's still so much within the series to look at and I adore it. apart from some things lmao BUT as with everything, there'll be bits you really just hate I guess.

You kidding? I love chatting about all this! XD

From what I've read myself and encountered elsewhere (I've gotten a lot of snippets from the later books as fans post excerpts for various arguments) Yen is a bit more complex in the novels than she's presented in TW3, especially depending on which dialogue options you choose. I mean, it's eight books. There are absolutely moments where I've gone, "Oh yeah, that's cute/sensible/romantic/heroic/etc." of her. She'd have to be a pretty static character to have that much content and not produce those reactions at least some of the time. That being said... she's definitely too similar in the books for my taste. Really, Yen was going to be an issue for me from the start, just given how her and Geralt's meeting goes in "The Last Wish." Her cruelty, brainwashing, and nearly getting him killed aside - because let's be real, an enemies to lovers-esque dynamic can be great - the wish itself always tainted their interactions for me. Yeah, yeah, I understand the theme of Geralt choosing his family regardless of what destiny or magic might say about it... but that doesn't erase that they are ambiguously bound by some kind of magic. We can read Yen's "You've condemned yourself to me" as just a lack of self-confidence, Geralt's love remaining a true thing no matter what any genies might have to say about it, but I personally can't ignore the very real, in-world, magical influence here. Every time the books discuss how often they've split, cheated on each other, fought, betrayed... but deep down they were still meant for one another, I'm thinking, "Are they? Or is that just the magical wish keeping two incompatible people tethered?" We can read them finding joy in one another despite the magic as something beautiful, or something tragic because what other choice did they have? Given how central that rocky relationship is to our protagonist's characterization and how awful Yen can be in general, yeah, she's still an acquired taste lol. She does get better later on, but how better I think depends on how you perceive her attitude at the start. Idk if you're into My Hero Academia or not, but I often compare her to Bakugo. Those who were already inclined to excuse his behavior hail the amazing growth he undergoes; those who couldn't stand him from the start (me) find the comparative improvement to still equal a pretty unlikable person. They're both undoubtedly better... but if you're starting that low, "better" won't necessarily be enough.

Oof yeah, I've seen those threads lol. One of my favorites was a discussion about whether Yen was a "bitch" or not (it also doesn't help when conversations about her character devolve into generic accusations of misogyny) and there was a response to the effect of, "Just because she's cold, judgmental, makes cruel remarks, and doesn't listen to Geralt doesn't mean..." and it's like okay, so we're just supposed to ignore all those traits - bypass them - to reach a "Yen is actually a kind person" reading? I have trouble with that lol. Honestly, the majority of my respect goes to those who are just in their fandom corners with their John Mulaney voice going, "Yen is a bitch and I love her SO MUCH." Like yeah!! I love lots of mean, awful, bitchy characters too!! There's no need to bend over backwards trying to prove they're actually a uwu poor baby whose every action was justified (outside of, you know, fandom joking like the "I've done nothing wrong ever in my life" meme). But yeah, I WANT to like her too! I don't enjoy being a part of a franchise where such a core, prominent character is someone I don't like spending time with. Who would want that?? So I've given her so many tries since getting into Witcher... and it just never sticks for me. I tried in the comics too only to come across a panel where Geralt dreams of Yen, but isn't sure if it was an actual dream, or a magical vision where they literally met. Vesemir asks if Yen was kind to him and when he responds that she was, he's like, "It was a dream lol." And yeah, that's the characterization! Geralt knows he didn't actually meet with Yen because the real Yen wouldn't have been that nice to him. And it's not in a funny "My real lover ALWAYS teasingly insults me as an act of kindness!" way but a much more literal, "Yeeeaaah. Yen just isn't that nice a person most of the time" and the examples we can point to when she is kind don't outweigh/erase everything else for me. In TW3 at least, she's very much the kind of person who will, completely seriously, blame you for getting amnesia. And you know the best part? She had it too! Not only that, but she actually recovers her memories earlier than Geralt and never looked for him and you also learn in the second game that she had a relationship with another guy while trying to remember who she was... so the fact that she's pissed at Geralt for going through the exact same thing (not seeking her out/relationship with Triss - only Triss was actively seducing him, so) is just wild to me.

But yeah, TW3 is a MASSIVE game that deliberately plays with different choices and perspectives. To say nothing of its "Life is hard and people need to be harder" worldbuilding. It would be a miracle if we liked every single thing in it lol. Like, Blood and Wine is probably my favorite bit of gaming ever and yet I just fundamentally disagree with CDPR's idea of a happy ending there. For both the main questline and a particular side quest the game goes, "This one is the correct choice ;)" and I'm like, "Lol not to my mind I'll take one of the 'bad' endings thanks!" Yen is just another example of that. The game clearly wants us to like her - she and Geralt are canon in the source material - but giving us the ability to decide who Geralt is means that we might just go, "Nope. Sorry. This 'correct' choice is one I'm passing by."

#witcher #TW3

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