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abundanceofnots · 3 years

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How many kissing scenes do they have total?

Okay, anon, strap in. We’re doing this the meticulous way. I hope you’ve got your reading glasses and your calculator ready.

For the purposes of this exercise, we’ll be counting kissing scenes between Ian and Mickey in the literal sense, aka where lips touch lips. Here we go!

1. The literal first kiss in 3×05. Also known as Mickey being brave and finding out exactly how much heavier a grandfather clock is than you expect it to be when you’re high on the good feelingTM.

2. The wedding kiss in 3×11. The wrong people are getting married, and both parties present in the room are miserable. Kissing and tearing clothes off each other is easier than talking, but they’re both trying to communicate different things in those kisses.

3. The club kiss in 4×08. Iconic, revolutionary, groundbreaking. Worth every hyperbole in the book. Another growing moment for Mickey as another one of his walls crumbles down to the rhythm of Move It Like U Stole It of all things. Also, the very first time we see the now patented head-cradle from Ian. (The fact that this kiss doesn’t seem to end is another bonus.)

4. The one before it all went to hell in 5×11. Nothing about this scene is particularly happy. They’re punching each other, there’s blood, and Mickey calls Ian a wet rat (and that’s, admittedly, very cute). As always, you do you, guys.

5. The one which combines the pent-up tensions and longing of about a year, or two TV seasons, in 7×10. (Also, tongues.)

6. The Spider-Man van kiss in 7×10. Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst who?

7. The horny kiss over the console in 7×11. Also known as Good-Luck-Screenshotting-This.

8. The border goodbye kiss in 7×11. Also known as the one where tongues make a reappearance, but we’re too sad to comment on it.

9. The one where Ian has to simultaneously breathe a sigh of relief and stop Mickey from making any more stupid jokes about bottom bunks in 9×06.

10. The mutual I love yous with mutual head-cradles in 10×03.

11. The one where Ian envelopes Mickey in his arms like a giant octopus in 10×06. (It’s like he missed him a lot, idk.)

12. The courtroom kiss in 10×08. The sweetest kiss in existence.

13. The first kiss they share as fiancés in 10×10. It could be longer, I say from my professional point of view as a nosy fucker.

14. The wedding kiss in 10×12. The right people are getting married this time, and everything is perfect--well, except for Noel’s cold sore. We don’t really see the kiss because of it but ask me if I care. (I don’t. Their vows are one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen on TV.)

15. The one where they’re being cute as hell husbands before they start going on about potential prison visits (still somewhat cute) and raw assholes (less cute) in 11×01.

16. A ticket straight to horny jail from 11×05.

... and that’s as far as we’ve got so far. If my highly scientific approach is correct, we’re currently standing at 16 kissing scenes in total. I’m sure we’ll get some more in the second half of S11.

But we also shouldn’t forget:

17. The deleted lovemaking from S5. I get why they would delete it because the purity of the kiss alone could give you cavities.

18. The deleted kiss from S10. It’s all very bantery and loving (and loud!), penile enhancement jokes included.

19. The Hall of Shame kiss where they try to eat each other whole.

20. The Hall of Shame blooper reel. (Yes, I’m counting it. There’s head-cradling and smiling into the kiss. It’s delicate and sweet. What more could you want? Oh, to actually see it on the show? That’s fair.)

And, well, 20 is a much better number than 16. (For now.)

#was this necessary? big nope #did i spend too much time working on this anyway? hell yes #thank you anon for keeping my mind occupied for a bit!#gallavich #shameless #a very scientific project indeed

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