#this isnt what becca wanted!!!!! god. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlegaydruid · 1 year

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Re: The most ridiculous posts I saw talking about how

1. the gods would “probably hate trans activists” (contradicting an even earlier post of this user’s that said they didnt like how people used the gods to further political agendas).

And 2. that people you disagree with are still pagans and should be allowed to be part of the community.

And anyways Im not linking the tumblr because I dont want to give them any kind of attention, but I wanted to talk about the posts themselves. Here’s your warning for some talk about terfs, alt-right, etc.

First I’ll address this person’s second point. And I’ll say yes. People who are on the far right, terfs, you name it, are still pagans, or Christians, or whatever spiritual path they choose to follow. Religion and spirituality, (and witchcraft to add that in for the sake of this argument), are inherently neutral things. They can be used to further good or to harm depending on the intent of the individual (or group).

And frankly it does no good to say “so-and-so isnt a real pagan/etc because xyz” because its almost a guarantee that they will turn and point at you with their own reasons why you arent the real one. (no true scotsman…).

What matters here is acknowledging that bad people and people with agendas will be in every group, even if by partaking they are being highly hypocritical. These things dont stop them from worshipping the gods, these things dont stop them from experiencing the gods or their own UPG.

What matters is that despite them being pagans it does NOT mean that they are free from the social consequences if they spout harmful beliefs or engage in harmful actions.

If a community deems your actions/beliefs as harmful, its within their right to exclude you to protect themselves. (And an aside, this is the internet. No one truly speaks for the whole, and with the amount of communities within communities within communities, you’ll find like-minded individuals eventually). But if youre so pressed to be a part of the “broader community,” perhaps its time to do some introspection and consider what it is about what youre doing that makes people unwilling to have you around.

If Jill starts talking shit every time she goes to the Sunday Night Sewing Group because she doesn’t like that Becca and Amy decided to go off-pattern, she shouldn’t be surprised if the group kicks her out because they didn’t want to deal with her toxic behavior.

And, look. I personally believe compassion and respect at an individual level is important to have for people, especially if youre trying to get through to them. But that doesnt mean those people are entitled to receive that from the whole group.

That brings me to address the first point. Im not even going to get into the transphobia part. This is where I laugh, because this person started their post like “I dont want to speak for the gods, but—”

Then DONT. Don’t speak for the gods. We can make inferences and form our own opinions based on the texts about them, but no one truly knows for certain what they feel.

All we know with even semi-certainty is the gods are often depicted as fickle, and that their stories were written down by humans and which change frequently over the ages. For all we know, the gods want the exact opposite of what we think. Its even bold to assume they would even care about anything humans do.

“Well I just think so-and-so deity wouldnt like this because theyre the god/dess of x and—”

No.

That’s your opinion, and youre applying it to a deity in order to validate your own beliefs, plain and simple.

Do not do this then complain that others do the same thing.

Do not use your opinion of a god’s feelings to justify treating other people badly.

#little gay druid thoughts #tw transphobes #paganism #pagan #christopagan #norse paganism #hellenic polytheism #witchcraft #druidry #witchblr

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marshmallow-creme · 4 years

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#i just need a tag long enough to get to the show more tags button #i need a tag long enough to get to the show more tags button #unimportant vent stuff dont worry about it #tfw you be splittin and you dont realize it till you read back some texts :)#im home alone and if i didnt have to wear short sleeves for work hooooooo boy #and its too hot to not wear shorts at home #you win this time self restraint #im gonna crawl into bed with an ice back and some alieve #and hope to god i am normal in the morning #you know what #i dont fuckin understand why every person i talk to #decides that theyre all going to avoid me on the same fuckin day #you know who talked to me the most today?#fuckin Becca #we talked about fleetwood mac and her dog #and it was a nice time #except for the fact that talking to her too much makes me want to vomit #i havent spoken to lauren in days #paul wont answer my snaps #my mother was gone all day and isnt coming home until tomorrow #its just me and my dog and my severe depression and tiktok #spacing into hours of short videos to forget that i want to die #im sure its just stupid emotions and bullshit and ill be fine when i wake up #but fuck i miss my fucking mood stablizers!!!!!!#abilify why you gotta be so expensive?

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standingappablog · 3 years

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I have theories I would like to share with y’all:

-We are left not knowing the fate of Marty and Nora, so I have some ideas of what could have happened to them.

Nora:

1.The most obvious theory, and probably the most likely is that she is in fact dead. With Rachel talking about her in the past tense and wearing her old runners it seems like she died saving her in the shark attack. Rachel also mentions that “their story” doesn’t end well. She also references at the beginning of her interview about how she treated Nora. Perhaps she felt guilty about how she treated her in their last few weeks together.

2.Now this one I know seems like a reach but, the shark attack was staged by gretchen to get Nora off the island so the experiment isnt exposed to the girls. Nora “dies” in the attack, therefore Leah has no way of blaming her. So to everyone else Nora is dead, which is why Rachel speaks of her in the past tense. (Again I’m leaning towards the her actually dying in the shark attack)

3. Or Nora could be completely fine and wasn’t interviewed because she was an informant.

Martha:

1.Now really we don’t know what happens to her. (So what I’m about to say is complete speculation) The only hint that we get is Agent Young going through her things in an attempt to find blackmail against her family. This makes us assume that she is either dead or in critical condition. Out of all of the girls towards the end of the season, the two who seem to be struggling the most are Leah and Martha. Shaken up by killing a living creature and facing the reality that she was abused as a child, makes me think Marty may have tried hurting herself. Probably towards the end of their stay on the island. Marty’s parents presumably signed her up for a relaxing time away with her best friend. So Gretchen, needing blackmail against the family so they wont sue her for whatever happened to Marty, makes me believe something like this happened to her.

2. Marty’s death could have been an accident like Noras and Janettes, how? There is many possibilities, I mean they are surviving on an deserted island so exposure, sickness falling from a high place..getting lost. Ect.

Shelby:

We are left with a lot of questions about Shelby.

Her ankle:

1. The First shot we see of her in the facility is her ankle, so when I finished watching the first time, I assumed she must have ran after Nora to help save Rachel, this one is easy to believe but her leg doesn’t look like it was bitten by a shark, there isn’t any visible wounds, so I’m doubtful of this possibility.Also her injury seems fresh enough and the girls where supposed to be on the island for three months, so I doubt she got it in the shark attack, which took place three weeks into their time on the island.

2.We know that Shelby was suspicious throughout her interview, so maybe she might have tried escaping the facility beforehand and was tackled?Or she fell? So this happening before hand could explain why the investigators mentioned they weren’t going to go easy on her in her interview. She was also described to be in a pretty fragile mental state, and they didn’t know what version of her they where going to get.

3. Shelby hurt her ankle trying to save Martha. Like I mentioned before Marty may have died or got badly injured by hurting herself. Maybe Shelby was there and tried saving her, somewhat similar to the situation with her friend Becca.

4.Another theory I saw was that Toni may have accidentally hurt her like she did Reagan. There has been a lot of speculation if Toni and Shelby are on good terms or not. Maybe Marty’s death/ injuries become a conflict between them since she was present. Or a conflict about something entirely different could have cuased her ankle injury

5.Or simply she could have just fallen before her rescue from the island lol. Though her ankle is the first shot we get of her in the facility. That’s what makes me think it’s significant.

Her hair:

1. The two possibilities that I could think of is that, her hair was just so matted and unkept by the end of the three months that there was just no salvaging it so it was shaved, or:

2.Shelbys hair seemed to be her form of releasing her frustration. We know that her mental health declines after the shark attack, so she may in upset/frustration cut it all off or continues to take chunks out of her hair as a form of release.

Leah and Shelby (+possibly Dot and Agent Young)

Leah:

1.After the shark attack, if Nora does die I think Leah will have a difficult time convincing the others, especially Rachel that Nora is some sort of agent.

2. The groups friend just died, so hearing from Leah that Nora was in on whatever is happening to them won’t be taken well. Certainly not by Rachel, I can imagine Leah saying this about Nora would make her furious. They will probably assume that she is once again having a mental break, and won’t listen to her.

3.Even if Nora doesn’t die, she was told to do as much as she can to keep everyone in the dark, so I wouldn’t put it past her making Leah look like she is going crazy.

Shelby:

1.At first I don’t think Shelby will believe Leah, but she will probably slowly begin to suspect things like Leah did. The two have an understanding, as we where shown, Shelby knows what it feels like to breakdown, and have everyone think they are crazy. But she knows in that moment she isn’t crazy, and neither is Leah. So when she is rescued and quarantined in the facility it will probably convince her completely.

Anaphylactic shock:

1.Shelby going into anaphylactic shock. How did she even go into anaphylactic shock? Where they given food in their rooms and Gretchen would have to have known that she is allergic. Right?

2.I think Shelby left a time on the note to Leah for her to escape. She maybe was able to order shellfish to her room, and then would eat it during the time Leah was going to escape.

Or:

1. I think MAYBE Shelby and Dot figured out what was going on before being rescued. We see that Dot orders a plate of seafood, which she barely touches. What if somehow Dot got the seafood to Shelby, maybe by leaving it underneath the table and shelby taking it back to her room after her interview. So when Leah tries to escape she eats the seafood, which sets off the alarm and distracts the guards. And with Shelby leaving a time on the note for Leah to escape, she would know when to eat the Seafood. (Another reach I know)

And:

-Agent Young could also have helped them. We saw that he sympathised with the girls and that he was the one keeping tabs on all of them. Maybe he knowingly let the girls do this without telling anyone, making it easier for them to pass notes and for Leah to escape.

They all know:

-Another possibility is that Leah somehow convinces the others that something is going on. And plan out how to figure out what really is going on. All of the girls get their stories straight, and they purposely leave out parts that could be used against them. Playing the investigators. I’m less inclined to believe this one since Shelby gave the note to Leah telling her she was right all along, why would she do that if they all knew anyways?

Toni and Shelby:

I think a lot of us suspect that the twos releationship is a little rocky by the time they get to the facility. (I have another post explaining why I think they aren’t on good terms currently)

1.Like I mentioned before Toni and Shelbys conflict may involve Marty, with her dying or hurting herself, Toni who we have seen can have huge outbursts when she is upset, could blame Shelby for not doing enough ,because maybe she was present when it happened. So maybe Toni irrationally blames Shelby for whatever happened to Marty.

2.This irrational anger could also be the cause of Shelbys ankle injury. Of course I don’t think Toni would ever purposely hurt Shelby, but she could accidentally, just as she did with her previous girlfriend.

3.A theory I’ve seen suggested a few times is that, they staged their break up to protect each other. If they seem like they aren’t together anymore to the investigators, they can’t be used against one another. (I personally think this one is hella cute)

4. Another possible conflict is Tonis anger issues affecting their relationship just as it did with Reagan, Tonis outbursts may be too much for Shelby and that may become an issue.

5. Shelby not being able to come to terms with her sexuality. This one isn’t as likely, because as far as everyone is concerned they are stuck on the island for god knows how long. The idea of not going home any time soon only seems to make Shelby want to explore herself more. And everyone I feel like would be completely supportive.

Although:

-Martha may have an issue, not with the fact that they are together but more that when they found food instead of taking it back to everyone, they hooked up. Leaving Martha to kill the goat by herself, when she really didn’t need to. Maybe this could lead to Toni having to choose who’s side to take, her girlfriend or best friend. (Martha has “you and us” mentality with Shelby after her homophobic remarks. Toni also has told Martha “since when where there sides?”)

Annnnnnddd that is all, I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I felt like typing it all out, I’d love to know what everyone thinks and your theories!

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cattles-bians · 3 years

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Damie Vibecca exes AU part 4

post directory

[em note: this one is LONG i had to split it!!!]

obsetress: deflecting to viola protecting becs

obsetress: once they are dating

obsetress: and thinkin thoughts

em: viola asks rebecca if she wants to put a hit out on peter and rebestiecca is like????

em: that’s hot but

em: u can do that? also maybe don’t. but mostly that’s hot

obsetress: i was literally gonna say peter is still her ex and he's a persistent fucker even though it's been a year at least and viola's response is... not far off from canon!

obsetress: becca just stares at her for a minute and then she's cupping viola's cheek and murmuring "come here" and pulling her down

obsetress: they're like kissing or whatever and rebecca's murmuring "that was hot, you know" between kisses and viola's like "oh?" and becca's like "don't be cheeky, you know it was" and vi just grins against her mouth

em: I’m Really Invested In This Crack Ship

obsetress: ok but rebecca tells jamie and dani about vi offering to put a hit on peter and they're both understandably and reasonably aghast and rebecca's just like (takes a sip of wine, ducks head, smiles to self) i think it's sweet

obsetress: dani and jamie look at each other out of the corners of their eyes

obsetress: (later, dani agrees how absolutely out of line it is but also admits that it sure does feel nice to be so taken care of sometimes)

obsetress: (jamie throws a pillow at her)

obsetress: also thinking about secret soft vibecca are sometimes and how horrified dani and jamie are the first time they see it with their own eyes

em: jamie and dani excessive PDA queens get a taste of their own medicine

em: it’s so funny that i’m like. always on the verge of viola horny posting but as soon as it’s vibecca i’m like look at these babies. these beautiful babies

obsetress: viola and rebecca kissing one (1) time at brunch and jamie, arm slung around dani’s shoulders, is like “oi, no one wants to see that” and dani, leaning into jamie, one hand in her lap, crinkles her nose and rebecca’s like “y— you’re kidding, right?”

obsetress: also like. we talk a lot about what vi does for rebecca but also like

obsetress: vi massive abandonment issues and rebecca just

obsetress: she just stays

em: ur gonna Kill me here lies em

obsetress: i know i didn’t mean to and then i just

obsetress: i can’t think too hard abt them or i will Melt Down but just like

em: look if rebecca can see the best in someone as awful as peter

em: viola isnt nearly as terrible

obsetress: esp vi post dani like

obsetress: she’s obnoxious and haughty and neoliberal but

obsetress: radical love goes a long way!

obsetress: rebecca grounding her thru touch and rebecca slipping her hands around vi’s and easing them loose when vi’s hands start to clench and rebecca just pressing a kiss to viola’s temple and murmuring “i’m here, yeah? with you. not going anywhere”

em: like i just think after eddie dani wouldnt like, just go w the flw any more. like i think abt her challenging viola occasionally

em: lovingly! gently

but like, holding her accountable

em: also violas absolutely little spoon

em: like i know blah blah viola top rebecca top leaning switch but viola little spoon

obsetress: “actually viola” (vi always knows she’s in trouble when dani calls her viola) “that was really hurtful” “i’m sorry you feel that way, dani, but—“ “i don’t need you to be sorry for how i feel. i need you to show me you’re sorry for what you did”

em: dani calls vi the Full Name and viola knows shes in trouble bc thats at least 4 extra vowels w danis midwest accent

em: it is always v surprising how much like, working w kids equips you to work w adults. b/c at least w kids you dont have layers and layers of social nuance to work through. u can just say 'hey. that was hurtful and your apology sucks'

obsetress: meanwhile dani’s over here trying to explain to vi intent vs impact and how no, it’s not semantics or nuance, it’s actually kind of a chasm

em: i kind of love like um. look viola is terrible but she wasnt born terrible

obsetress: she just has a lot to unlearn

em: and id belive that even if i wasnt a ghostfucker thats just rogers theory of self actualisation babyeee

obsetress: dani viola big fight n dani's like

obsetress: "i'm sorry and i love you but it's not my job to fix you, vi" and she just breaks down and she's like "it's not"

obsetress: jesus why did my brain take THAT turn

em: wrow

em: its ok i was gonna be like 'so they obvs break up at some point....'

obsetress: anyway viola just stares at her for a second and then she's like "you put the 'i'm sorry' before the 'i love you'"

obsetress: and dani just stares at her for a long time and she's like "yeah. i guess i did"

em: HANNAH

em: BESTIE

obsetress: i KNOW what the FUCK

obsetress: anyway dani's like "i guess i did" and vi's like "is that it then?" and dani just looks at her with her puffy eyes and is like "i think so"

obsetress: dani clayton queen of saying "i love you" over and over in the midst of breaking up w someone

em: well! she has a lot of love to give but, she also has to love herself sometimes!

em: i was thinking abt scenarios n i just remembered that. whole video rental shop thing so i think that slots in nicely

[em edit: u can read here]

obsetress: god i love that lil scene

em: dani sends viola a tentative little meme peace offering and they get back to talking and its nice but maybe a bit awkward and viola mentions like, going to therapy and seeing someone for help n its

obsetress: vi's stewing on "i can't fix you" for weeks and then she's begrudgingly. BEGRUDGINGLY calling a therapist

em: like its still awkward and dani is still nursing some wounds but she can ALSO be happy for someone she used to care about

em: still cares about!

obsetress: she's always gonna love her in some way or another

obsetress: but yeah also like. smth to viola being too stubborn to do anything she doesn't wanna do except suddenly when dani clayton gets involved and that feels p canon in its own way too

em: 'i cant fix u' weird bc every time i see viola im like 'i can fix her'

obsetress: it's like ur in my head bestie

em: how do u think viola and rebestiecca met

em: not that u think abt it or anything

obsetress: MAN i was just thnking

obsetress: in this universe how did dani and jamie meet but i guess it can still just be bly tbh

obsetress: as for vi and bestiecca hmmm

em: am so caught up in the joy of fucked up interpersnal dynamics i forgot a meet cute

obsetress: honestly part of me wants to be like

obsetress: on some dating app but a dating app for posh people yk

obsetress: but then i'm like

obsetress: that takes all the meet cute fun out of it

obsetress: oh GOD

obsetress: i got it

obsetress: ready

obsetress: so like viola landlord we know this

obsetress: and then i was watching whatever ep three the other day and bex mentions wanting to do public law right

em: oooooh

obsetress: bex public housing attorney

em: OOH

obsetress: they meet at some conference

obsetress: hit it off prob fuck lbr

obsetress: and then

obsetress: comedy of errors

obsetress: whoever stays the night, they sleep together again in the morning, breakfast in bed, bex is like "so what do you do, anyway"

em: hjgbjshmdnfbmngbmhnbgs,hndg m,shndgds

em: YES

obsetress: and then they just

em: WHEEZES

obsetress: also i like to think rebecca invites vi back to her hotel room and vi is so charmed by her taking charge ("""taking charge""") that she lets her

obsetress: and then like

obsetress: god for a while what if they just like

obsetress: they're so mortified and morally and fundamentally at odds but like

obsetress: the sex is so good???????

obsetress: that they keep just meeting up and then

em: romeo and juliet situation

obsetress: yk how it goes

obsetress: the sex is good and they see each other as like

em: thats so fucking good thank u hannah

obsetress: super rare intellectual equals whatever

obsetress: thank u i am exceedingly proud rn

obsetress: honestly at this point i'm

obsetress: rebecca and vi uhaul change my mind

obsetress: like not too quick because isabel but, quick enough to be considered

em: so the joke is like. obviously 'extremely pda damie' but when rebecca and vi are alone they Also cannot get their hands off each other

obsetress: they both just. worry about appearances too much meanwhile

obsetress: tweedle dee and tweedle dum in the overalls and mom jeans dgaf

em: accidentally seeing ur friends compromised is just part of the package of being friends w damie. however jamie accidentally catches vibecca in the act and shes Horrified

em: hypocrits

em: danis like yeah what do u. think theyre doing

em: dani is nonchallant bc shes dated viola of all people

obsetress: i mean could you imagine

obsetress: between vi and dani's just

obsetress: insatiable libido

em: HADNT IMAGINED UNTIL NOW BUT YEAH

obsetress: dani, very seriously: jamie, when two women love each other––

em: dani likes dating jamie bc it means she can top occasionally :) maybe even more than occasionally

em: jamies like ooh my god i knw i know how are u so casual about... rebecca... and ... viola... (dani just pulls her in fr a smooch)

obsetress: they have each other's clothes half off and dani's like "i'm so casual because i dated her too, babe" and jamie's like "can we not have this conversation right n"

obsetress: also i still have this on my clipboard from earlier we bopped around so fast but

obsetress: vi and bex hooking up early on:

obsetress: rebecca knocks on vi's door at, like, 6:00 pm after work, vi opens it, rebecca just grabs her and kisses her, vi pulls her in, becca kicks it closed behind her, vi shoves her against the door and they're kissing against it, then vi's ducking her head to kiss along rebecca's neck and rebecca's like "how many people did you evict today" as she angles her head and then viola's finding her lips again and tugging at her lower lip with her teeth "probably not as many landlords as you shortchanged today" and rebecca's laughing and pushing her backwards down the hall as viola tugs at her blouse

em: GOD. viola is probably like

em: ok, disclaimer: fuck all landlords

em: but at least in this fantasy world perhaps viola is 'fairly' 'reasonable' n shes absolutely playing it up for the hate sex angle n rebecca Maybe Assumes shes lying but

em: stupid morons in love

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: i think i've mentioned this before but like

obsetress: now that it's more fleshed out

obsetress: then they're at drinks one night (and when did it go from just sex to drinks? neither of them could tell you) and viola's kinda quiet n moody (n rebecca already knows she Gets Like This sometimes and that she'll usually say whatever she's thinking eventually) and finally she's like

obsetress: "i have... a daughter" and rebecca's just like "tell me about her" like it's the easiest thing in the world

obsetress: and viola's head snaps over and she stares because she was.... not expecting that

obsetress: and so viola does

obsetress: and rebecca's just like "i'd love to meet her one day"

em: soft.....

obsetress: they always turn back to soft

obsetress: like they have a fuckin mind of their own

em: rapidly oscillate between horny and soft

obsetress: that's the mood

em: violas probably like. yknow, rebecca's young and up and cming n she probably assumes rebesticca isnt interested as something as full on as a kid but shes like 'do you have any photos'

obsetress: fuck!!!!!!!!!

em: rebeccas like do u think i didnt. see the photos at ur apartment lmao

em: theres a childs drawing on the fridge

obsetress: rebecca has known almost from the jump but was

obsetress: giving viola her time

obsetress: also smth smth giving her time instead of time wearing her away etc etc we're all in hell

em: cracks knuckles

em: bestie....

obsetress: pls

obsetress: it's what i deserve

obsetress: first tho

obsetress: consider

obsetress: the way viola's face lights up when she's talking about isabel and showing rebecca all the pictures

obsetress: hold pls

em: soft......

obsetress: this one chief

obsetress: right here

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #i have some old ones i wanna get through so bad just for the joy of #jamie: actually viola i DONT think cocaine is vega #vegan i meant vegan #but tumblr user obsetress mentioned the break up so! so. a recent convo

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sometimesrosy · 5 years

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yeah that whole idea of putting lxa into someone else body is just wrong but besides that I don’t think it’s possible(?) flame holds the spirit of the commanders yes but it actually heightens the commander qualities that were already there. i dont think that even if they wanted to they could put it in a vacant body and somehow lxa what? would get in charge of the commanders? like how would that even work I know it’s sci-fi but within the world they created it doesn’t make sense

I mean, feasibly, the flame should work like a collection of minddrives. it’s bigger and more powerful than the minddrives and absolutely holds the same thing that the mind drives do.

I think the most likely commander to try and get a body is sheidheda. especially if its Cadogan. Lxa was an egotist, but she also had bought into the concept that she would become one with the flame and her glory would continue on through that, while Cadogan would never have felt that, he would ALWAYS want to be a god, and in the flame he’s just one of many and they apparently don’t listen to him?

He would be STEALING, which fits with the primes, who are thieves. And if Cadogan and Russel knew each other and were in on some sort of cult megalomania second dawn/two suns kind of thing, it would make sense that he’d try to rise to primacy.

One of the problems with shipping mentality is that you shut down every possibility for story that does not feed your ship. Which means you can’t follow the story. Which means your ship story gets more and more separated from the actual canon until you’re running on your own fanon and acting like canon is evil for continuing the way it was always going with a story that is not about your OTP.

Lxa being put into a body would ignore her character, the communal nature of the flame commanders, the importance of the OTHER commanders to the story, most notably BECCA, who would actually be the one they would want to have the MOST access to, because she understands the tech they are dealing with and is the most knowledgeable about the colony mission and is an actual genius. What can Lxa provide the story? She effectively destroyed her power base and betrayed her people. There are no more grounders. She is the leader of nothing. The only reason to bring her back, the only story that could give that meaning is if Lxa and Clarke were soulmates and they were telling that story...instead of the story of Bellamy and Clarke as soulmates, which IS the story they were telling. If they were telling CL, Clarke would have been talking to LXA every day for 2199 years. And when she finally DID get to talk to Lxa through Madi, the lesson wouldn’t have been, “love is not a weakness, don’t betray bellamy like I betrayed you, because you will regret betraying your love.” IF CL was the story, it would have been, “I love you more than anything I believe in you make the right choices, protect my people.” But it wasn’t It was all about BELLAMY. And it also wouldn’t have ended with Clarke telling Madi that she loved her SO MUCH MORE than she loved Lxa and then sending her off into war to save Bellamy. THIS IS NOT A CL STORY. So the only reason to make L come back is not working.

COULD it have been. YES IT COULD HAVE. BUT IT ISNT BECAUSE THEY ARE TELLING A DIFFERENT STORY.

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wasningcratjo1987-blog · 5 years

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I bet you are really anxious and i am sorry you feel that way. But i do not think that the therapist would risk his license on an affair. It is the biggest mistake you can do as a psychologist. You can then sit up with the bar across your lap. Once you caught your breath, you can stand and set down the bar, or take it wherever you want to park it. I hate having it across my thighs while I recover, so I set it on the floor. I live in the Midwest (Experiences will vary a bit across the US). I am in college now but I learned some cursive in the first grade of elementary school, however I failed cursive class. I was not abnormal either, MOST kids did poorly in cursive class and there was 충청북도출장샵 no negative repercussions for doing so. Hanging out with edward enninful, only the editor in chief of british vogue and his best friend. God. I blessed. You needn worry, though. There a greater than even chance that nothing like this will actually happen, and even if it did, odds are that a random whiner on the internet isn worth more than $10 million. I doubt you would be personally affected.. I bathed with my 3yo since she was 6 weeks old and I just couldn deal with the baby tub anymore. I never wore a swimsuit, which sounds cumbersome and unnecessary when I see no need for modesty in front of such a young child. At this age, I want to instill in my child a sense of normalcy and comfort about the human body, not secrecy.. Face: I only have one face product from them, the Super Shock Highlight in Wisp and I love it. Probably my favorite from them and my go to everyday highlight. Tbh I like it better than my Becca Opal because that texture is just special. The horror of that weighs on me to this day that it's my reality. I have nightmares of a faceless guy grabbing me in a parking lot and coming to the realization "I can do nothing, this Is going to happen. He is going to force having sex on me." I can't wait for the day a man living in the household would possibly be a deterrent, thats even why I wanted to roommate with my male cousin. I know this isnt what you were asking, but it helps my work day and it helps me not feel as destroyed from work. I feel less inclined to call in during (some) flareups if I know my work knows what is going on and can accommodate. It might make things easier for you at least.. However, my mom has gone through phases where she has taken my food, and I have justifiably been really, really fucking pissed about it. I clearly remember eating a tuna sandwich at the table one day, and some of the tuna fell out of the side of the sandwich. I continued eating my sandwich, saving that dollop of tuna for later, when my mom reaches over and scoops the tuna up with her finger and eats it! I literally could have stabbed her in the hand for that. Going after these accounts for reposting something the face of the brand posted to a public forum is ridiculous. 충청북도출장샵 I am not a fan of brands trying to silence content creators especially when this seems to be a common occurrence for the brand. 67 points submitted 1 month ago. Pretty much exactly what I expected. Biopics are fun because you can always tell which characters from the movie were involved in providing source material. You definitely come out of Bohemian Rhapsody with a better appreciation for how cool, smart, funny, creative and handsome Brian May is.

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prewars · 6 years

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heres that list of unsolicited fic recs that ive amassed over the past few years when i get certain itches to deep-dive ao3 and be disappointed, this isnt everything but these are ones over 5k, mostly over 10k, thanks for the unnecessary encouragement @sonnywortzik @becominganoven @donotloseme @dicktective

Crossed in the places that you never knew to get through by noelia_g (generation kill)

It's not the real beginning. Things have happened before that led to this, things thousands years in the making and things quite recent, like the wound still bleeding, dark blood seeping into the dirt. But it's a beginning nonetheless. Right here, right now, this happens.

Après moi le deluge by beyond_belief (gen kill)

He can pop Motrin for the pain but there's nothing to be done for his jagged nerves. Rudy suggests more yoga, his mom suggests meditation, Patrick suggests he get laid. The Corps suggests a promotion, and Nate finds himself a Captain. There's a small voice in the back of his head that says, This isn't what you want, and it's getting louder day by day.

Aftermath, USA by traveller (gen kill)

The morning of the assassination, Patti Jankowski got up, took a long shower and towel dried her hair before braiding it into two long ropes that hung over her shoulders. She put on jeans, a t-shirt that showed Mickey Mouse saluting the American Flag, a light tan windbreaker and her comfortable blue SAS sneakers. In her shoulder bag she put a Smith and Wesson .22 caliber revolver, and an umbrella. The forecast was for a 62% chance of rain.

Adrift by visiblemarket (constantine)

Time was, Chas would’ve offered John the bed to make sure he rested, then crammed himself atop the sagging, scratchy, ancient cushions instead. That time has clearly passed. John tries not to let it bother him, but he’s had a hard enough time sleeping lately, and as soft and warm as the blanket Chas tossed him the night before was, it hadn’t much helped. And so he awakens to birds chirping, sun streaming through big airy windows, and a colossal headache.

to know me as hardly golden is to know me all wrong by norgbelulah (justified)

The God’s honest truth of it was that he didn’t want to be whatever Boyd was, he didn’t want to be Boyd Crowder’s friend, and he didn’t want to follow him down into the darkness that was always waiting for them both. And he knew if he stayed, he would be all of those things and learn not to mind them.

I Have Always Lived in the Moment by scioscribe (justified)

Tim says that technically he was only mostly dead, and mostly dead is still slightly alive. The witty repartee would be more convincing if Tim could get some color back into his face. Raylan remembers an overwhelming whiteness. Art wants to know: Like the tunnel with the light at the end of it? No, Raylan says, blander than that, and icier, too. Like an afterlife manufactured by IKEA.

To Call the Darkness Home by scioscribe (justified)

After a time, even the nightmares stopped, and he started bitching like an ordinary person about the low pay and the roaches, exactly as if Lexington hadn’t been his longed-for salvation. But there must have been some uneasiness in him that he just hadn’t paid any mind, because every time he had left, he had gone farther and farther away, until he had threatened to run right off the coast into the Atlantic.

Where's Waldo? by swamplamp (better call saul)

Jesse Pinkman manifests on his doorstep like a wet dream that nobody asked for. It's 4 AM. "You're a sight for sore eyes," Saul remarks flatly, squinting out towards that semi-familiar face. Seeing Pinkman lets old feelings roll back in and isn't that a shame? Saul makes to shut the door and go back to a kinder slumber. But he stops. Saul feels a twinge of sympathy worming its way into his chest before he can start pulling the door closed. They stand there for a moment, steeped in caution and confusion.

By daybreak we'll be gone by storm_petrel (the losers)

Clay has a handful of life philosophies that he’s gained though years of extremely hard-won experience. Sleep when you can. Keep track of where you stash your boots and dog tags, because they don’t come with you. Trust the people who earn your trust. When in doubt, and in the absence of a proper machine gun, go for a sidearm with more than ten rounds in the magazine and minimum .38 calibre for decent stopping power. If still in doubt, shift out and go for the jugular.

In All the Tongues of Men and Angels by coinin (the losers)

Carlos Alvarez, first son after three daughters, was not supposed to join the Army. Carlos Alvarez was supposed to go to college, major in something useful like business or civil engineering, graduate with honors, marry a nice Catholic girl, and provide his parents with grandchildren while establishing himself in a respectable field of employment. Unfortunately for his parents, Carlos Alvarez was of the opinion that the suburban American ideal could go fuck itself.

the prisoner's dilemma by arbitrarily (free fire)

“Jesus Christ. What the fuck happened to you two?”

“First date,” Justine says.

“Went dutch,” Chris says.

Places We Don't Belong by easternepiphany (community)

Yesterday they went hiking in the Sandia Mountains, made it to the top of the trail, and celebrated by making out against a tree, slick with sweat. They were caught by a family of four, two parents and a son and a daughter, all who looked on in horror. The mother asked, in a stern and angry voice, weren’t they a little old for such antics. “Probably,” he said with a shrug and she bit her lip to keep from laughing.

A Fool For Your Face by Ghostcat (you’re the worst)

The days after Becca and Vernon’s shitstorm of a party were golden, as if he and Gretchen were finally alone. As if her depression had moved house, left the country, waved goodbye. They laughed and fucked, got drunk or didn't. Did drugs or went dry. Or kissed. For hours. Leaning against the brick wall of some local dive turned glorious oasis because of her lips.

But the walls are giving way by FanchonMoreau (mozart in the jungle)

“You don’t have to feel obligated to stay with us,” Cynthia tells him. “But you’re my orchestra,” Rodrigo insists. She smiles. “We’re big kids. We can take care of ourselves. Take a gig somewhere else if you need to. Trust me, we’ve got this.” He does trust her, and he trusts his orchestra. And he’s not stupid enough to miss the implication that perhaps he’s not wanted here, at this particular moment.

the grave robbers by arbitrarily (american gods)

“Okay, fine. I liked vodka and I liked whiskey. I didn’t even like the top shelf shit — I liked the cheap stuff, the stuff that burned on its way down. I liked it when I felt like it could make me choke. I liked when my bedsheets were tucked in so tight I could barely crawl in under the covers and I slept like I was trapped. I liked the smell of bug spray. I liked the burn of that, too. I liked when I stayed in the tub too long and my skin went all wrinkly and gross, and okay, I get the fucking irony of that now — no need to remind me. I liked when glue dried on my fingers and I’d peel it off. I liked angel food cake. I liked when I’d lay in bed at night sometimes and be just about to fall asleep, but then, I’d jolt awake, like I was falling down a flight of stairs or something in my almost dreams. Or whatever. You know — everyone knows that feeling.”

Reconstruction Site by disco_vendetta (pacific rim)

One day he looks up from the scaffolding and realizes that he’s almost exactly at Jaeger height and has to wrap his hand tight against the metal to keep from stepping out into the air. Not because he wants to kill himself or anything, just because for a split second his mind felt that old equilibrium and he just knew he should be able to, should be able to walk straight across the valley in front of him and out into the sea and on forever until he finds whatever’s next.

Benediction by sistermercury (the exorcist)

“I had to see.” Tomas starts weakly, and something inside Marcus begs for both of them to stop; Begging Tomas because he doesn’t want to know, can’t hear about another goddamn vision, not tonight. Begging himself, because something’s gone wrong and his self-righteousness can wait. It won’t be the first time Marcus fails to follow his own good advice.

he's alive! i'm alive! we're all alive! (oh, this case just got busted wide open) by rustykitchenscissors (mcu)

The next day, he rides his new motorcycle downtown and walks around until he sees a store full of the kinds of phones the other Avengers use. They’re all so thin he thinks they’ll break the moment he picks them up. Like how Bucky said for a while after, “I bet you met your old self like this, you’d break all his bones just going for a handshake, huh?” Only when drunk, of course. That mix of bitter and wonderstruck, hair scrambled across his forehead. “I bet you’ll snap me in half without thinking one of these days.” And Steve would throw an arm across his shoulders and pull him in tight to make sure he knew, Look, fuck that. I swear to God you’re steel to your core.

a tree grows in brooklyn by newsbypostcard (mcu)

"It's done, Buck," he says painfully, lying himself back on the ground. "All that's left is to leave." They don't leave. He can't. His chest rises and falls, too hard and too obvious.

Responsible Science by lettered (mcu)

Three weeks after Bruce left New York, Black Widow found him in Honduras.

the blackberries in the thickets by newsbypostcard (mcu)

"You are James Buchanan -- like the President -- from Illinois, Nevada, California, and New Jersey. I am Grant Stevens -- wanted to be Ulysses Grant, but Nat said two dead presidents living at the same address might sound a little fishy -- from Florida, Connecticut, Washington, and New York."

Bucky frowns at him. "How come you get New York?"

"Just worked out that way."

Life of Crime by neveralarch (mcu)

It's really hard to run through Boston when you're carrying a quiver on your back, a bow in one hand, and a huge bag of money in the other. Still, Clint's doing fine—he's had a ton of practice, after all. He's never going to win any Olympic medals (for, okay, lots of reasons), but he's fast enough for a guy on foot. Doesn't matter, because this chick's gaining on him anyway. Fucking flying. It's gotta be cheating.

#there's like probably half a million words here so have fun

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jonathankatwhatever · 3 years

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1. So it was never real, never true, and I ended up here, chasing an illusion. And it’s not likely a coincidence that this happens at the point of the most pressure, so when I return to the NJA story, the one that ran before and after you were born, that infused all those aspects as they worked out to the optimal, when I put that on, when I hold Nicole-Marie and say yeah, you’re my favorite, that is when the story breaks, where the knife goes in.

But it’s too late. I have $5000 in the bank, and my real estate taxes are due in 6 days and they’re more than what I have. My entire reserve fund is $10,000, so if I take half of that to pay my taxes, then my mortgage payments eat almost all the $5000, so I’m literally sunk within a month, and I wouldnt leave enough cash for them to pay for food until the insurance money arrives. So, even if I complete something, there’s no way I can get anywhere with it in time.

So, I’m effectively dead person walking.

It was the carrot on a stick, and I fell for it.

My entire life has been about this moment. In the Storyline, I warn not to give in even if I beg until I pull out what needs to be pulled out. But this next month is my last. I cant avoid that.

And it isnt a coincidence that this was the first time you spoke Joe’s name, because he gave you something that you could acknowledge in public, and now he’s elevated to your co-writer, so you can proceed to marry him, etc., just as you’ve had planned all along. He has status. He’s a grammy nominated songwriter, and now a man of many talents. His life is forever changed. And that’s how it proceeds in your life. That one play revealed how you won, how you got everything you wanted, and that’s what this has been about all along. It really is beautiful.

There is a small part of me that remains hopeful that this is exactly what Joe deserves, and that it really is wonderful that you can bring him forward, and that this fits with what I know in my heart, that the absolutely crazy story is true.

One approach is to think about how you take the higher levels and reduce them to your life, so the stuff which I ... no, if I havent imagined the entire thing, which now seems likely, then this is intentional. And if I’ve imagined the entire thing, then that also is intentional, but that leads me to ask myself: who are you? What are you that this is how you function? Are you a parasite? I know the so-called afterlife exists, so I’m not scared of at least some aspects of that - anything other than punishment for failure, but am I punished for failing when I’ve followed you?

So here is a picture of a peculiar form of madness in which I, no, I love Nicole and Anne and Caroline and the Taylor that appeared in that story, and Ellie, and Lea and Suzie and Becca and Molly and Betsey and Kate, and the various Elizabeths, and Georgie, every single one. I love Gina and Kyle and Jake, and Josh and Jared (who were named long before I ever heard of Kushners), and I miss ... oh my God I cant remember my oldest sister’s name or her husband’s and their children I love. I hope she comes back to me.

If I cant be with you, I’d prefer to be with them. No matter what happens, when I’m gone from here, the world continues on the paths it is on, and things continue to get worse because humans need to learn the reasons for cooperative behavior. But that’s not true either: they can grow meat in a lab to feed people. I guess I speak for a way forward that isnt built on, well, what I’ve done, which is bet everything on finding a way out of a problem. Look at me: I’m about to die. Ave, Imperator! I cant remember the rest in Latin: those who are about to die salute you!

And this suggests I have a form of the dementia that my mother had. Last I saw her, after her death, she was ecstatic to be released from here. My connections to this world are all groundings. My kids are grownups responsible for their own lives, so whatever existences they have connect to me, but they’re grounds: meaning there is a current that flows into their roots which passes through me.

2. So, when I hit the bottom of the work, when I finally can prove with it, then I have to show what I can do. I see that. There is a bit of hope in me that this will work. There is a bit of hope in me that this is actually part of the larger plan, as the Storyline says. There is a bit of hope in me that you really are my favorite, my other, the one(s) I love. But I have an obligation to the work. I expect nothing will come of it. In which case, I will then be ready to die. If I do, I will curse you for all eternity.

And so, I’ll continue as I can until I cant, but if I never see you, that is because you’re going to hell.

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giraffeicorn · 7 years

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The 100 4x04 RECAP/thoughts

***SPOILER ALERT DO NOT READ IF YOU DIDNT WATCH EPISODE 4 OF THE 100*** The joke about floating Jaha!!!! LMFAO YES (and clarke's beautiful adorable smirk) Clarke noooo bb you are not useless you beautiful lil buttercup fucking Jasper don't duck around like that!! wtf not cool. cut the shit. abby and kane talking over the radio you're cute stop. fuck Omari knew shit was gonna happen. Why y'all no listen. FUCK WTF WHY THE HECK DOES- DRONES THE FUCK HECK WHAT OMOMOMGGGGG NOOOOOOOO NYKO NONONO AFTER ALL YOUVE BEEN THRU FUCK NO no why you split up why you leaving Raven alone fuck stay safe babygirl Roan dammit why you no trust Kane? He's a friend. lean on him. WTF YOU BITCH HOE ECHO HEARTLESS SHIT KILLING HIM WOW NO. Echo no one likes you. Please remove yourself. Fuck you too Roan. fucking dammit Jasper keep your mouth shut you idiot. Poor Clarke babe no you're trying so hard you weren't even gonna put yourself and they all think you wrote yourself on it but you didn't. You're doing the best you can. You're the reason so many people are still okay. You do what you have to do. You did the right thing trying to keep this quiet. Monty will come around. Octavia my precious warrior goddess I love how you worry about Indra so much precious badass babe you go girl dammit Monty I feel you. you should be on the list but damn don't be like that man. that's fucked up. FUCK SHIT WTF DAMMIT RAVEN YOU CRAZY BEAUTIFUL FUCKING HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO LOSE ANOTHER LEG JFC glad you're safe tho. and look at you talking to Luna convincing her to have a heart. also who could say no to you i would risk my damn life just like Luna with that face you made damn girl phew Luna is safe FUCKIN SHIT ABBY NOOOOO OH MY FUCK- THANK GOD FOR RAVEN COMIN IN CLUTCH if i didn't ship Princess Mechanic so hard rn I would sooooo ship Raven and Luna. I'm sure this is a thing. Oh noooo stop being fucked up to Princess Clarke dammit. I hate you Jaha but damn you know how to bullshit people. Good save. FUCKING SHIT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKNOOOONO ONONO TELL ME THIS ISNT REAL NO NO NOT A FCKING CHANCE NO FUCK YOU J ROT FUCKING HELL YOU DIDNT NOT MY WARRIOR PRINCESS NONONO NOT TODAY SATAN. FUCKKKKK YOU ECHO I WILL KILL A VITCH WAIT TILL INDRA FINDS YOU OMG *rants during commercials about not watching the show again* fucking hell Alie/Becca's Lab damnnnnn that's some high tech badass shit The amazement and way Raven's face lights up seeing the lab >>>>>>> Omg nonono stop no it's not true no Bellamy poor bby I want to hug you:( also fucccck where tf is Indra dammit YOU FUCKING KNOW WHATS GOOD FOR YOU J ROT YOU CRYEL SHITBAG HOW DARE YOU MAKE US THINK FOR A SECOND!! MY WARRIOR PRINCESS BBYGIRL YOURE ALIVE THANK THE HEAVENS HELIOS RUN RAST PROTECT OUR WARRIOR PRINCESS TAJE HER TO CLARKE FIX HER FUCKKKKKK SERIOUSLY THATS IT WTF DAMMIT HOW DO I WAIT A WEEK. FUCK THIS DAMN SHOW. *cries and reads fluff clexa and princess mechanic fanfic*

#the 100 4x04 #the 100 #princessmechanic #wanheda #octavia blake #warrior princess #bellamy #jaha #jasper #monty #abby griffin #clarke griffin #clexa

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the-little-red-noodle · 5 years

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7/17/19 11:38pm

Honestly I’m probably just being dramatic with this whole mark thing. Maybe i just subconsciously want to focus on something else to distract from the other pain I’m feeling. And it’s working, focusing on happy feelings is better than dwelling on the negative ones, but is it all that helpful in the longrun? Cuz now I’m just spending my time thinking about what we would be like as a couple and how i would feel about this or that and honestly this isnt healthy eitherrr.

I don’t want to be doing this. I’m doing the thing again. I’m doing the thing where i try to jump into something new to distract from the fact that I’m heartbroken and lonely. Duuuude you weak shit just deal with your problems.

Anyway, i got through dinner with my dad and his girlfriend. And it’s okay. I’m going to be okay and we’re gunna move past it. We obviously didn’t talk about it. I had 3 glasses of rose and was everyones friend, which is good. I now understand why adults are always drinking at events and dinners and holidays. Cuz it puts you in a better mood and easier to put up with shit. So at least that’s done.

I need to work out tomorrow. I need to finish another page in my art book tonight then take my new sleeping pill and knock tf out

Oh ya, I’m on new antidepressants now. I don’t remember if i said that in my last post, but my psychiatrist put me on 2 drugs for depression, one in the day and one before bed. We are a medicated bitch now yes sir, lets get that serotonin fam, lets get that reuptake, lets get that receptor spawn and longevity of receptors, lets get that eventual complacency with lessened neurotransmitters and deterioration of health longterm but short term aid..

Anyway, it’s a transitional tool. I don’t want to be on antidepressants forever. They helped after my psychosis along with my antipsychotics, which im not on anymore but have some still in case, and I’ve tried them before but right now is a time that i need the mood boost for safety reasons so yay.. the pharmacist only scared me a little saying that the day pill will give you killer withdrawals if you forget it once so that’s fun right. But i need the sleep and i need the mood boost so we gone try it for a month and see how we do.

So far today tho, as a first day on my own in a few days, I’m not as scared of myself.. that seems like a low bar but I’m grateful for it.

Now I’m gunna download a horoscope app and finish my nails and get situated for to sleep.

Goals for the next few days: start wag walks. Sign up for postmates. Stop texting mark that you miss him you dumb cunt? Journal more. Draw more. Talk about your shit. Deal with this breakup. Like actually deal with it. Work out. Talk to becca. Text friends that you love them. Focus. You dumb bitch just fucking get some shit done. And sleep. Omigod go to sleep. You don’t need a boy right now, you have friends and that’s lovely and so help me god if you try some dumb shit i won’t let you eat chocolate or buy toe rings.

#samiswriting

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sometimesrosy · 7 years

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I saw your ask regarding Raven taking the flame, do you think people will be as angry at Raven taking it as when C offered to take it? Raven outwardly has expressed her hatred for the grounders before and while this hasn't been relevent in the story from some time, there isnt really any evidence that this has changed. I get that she is not white like C is but since they both come from a different culture that looks down on grounder beliefs I dont see why its different.

I do think that’s why people are mad, but I don’t think the description fits Clarke. Or the flame.

Does Clarke consider grounders savages? She’s been trying to act as a bridge and become allies with them for a long time. She’s been the one working with them the most closely. She learned about them. Their politics, their language, their traditions, their religion. From them. The Flame was actually given into her custody, so she WAS made part of their religion. She took the flame once and went into the COL and talked to Becca and Lxa and they both called her commander.

She wants them to not fight a war when they could be working together, and the flame was the way to do it. Was it a bad idea? It was a terrible idea. Was it looking down on grounder beliefs?

Why?

Because she knew it for what it was? An AI? Did she have a right to do that? Well the fleimkepa gave it to her, and the book explaining it. He called HER the fleimkepa. So yes. She took the knowledge even deeper than he could. And used the same science that created it to make more nightbloods. It turns out that their religion comes from Clarke’s people. It turns out they’re not as separate as once thought. Not surprising, because BOTH peoples are ruthless survivors.

I know everyone’s off on this cultural appropriation interpretation and Clarke taking the flame as white saviorism and disrespecting the grounder culture, but it seems more to me like she was… not converted really but inducted into the grounder religion in season 3. She was given all the secrets, by Titus. He gave her the responsibility to FIND the new heda. Wasn’t this canon? He gave her the stupid flame. She was given the right. By commanders and fleimkepa.

And I don’t know if wanting to save people from killing each other is really “disrespecting grounder culture.” Like. Are you people saying we have to accept war as the answer, or the “more civilized” choice of the murder games because it’s their culture? Nah. That’s not cool. You’re taking it too far. Respecting people’s culture does not extend to lust for vengeance and killing, and that you guys are saying Clarke’s attempt to stop a war was WRONG is really kind of flipping me out.

I do think Clarke is “the hero” and she takes on responsibility for saving people. She’s always done it. She makes decisions. She bears it so they don’t have to. She decides who lives and who dies and this time she’s trying to say “no you live, you don’t have to fight.”

She absolutely makes the wrong decisions sometimes and goes too far with her God Complex, making too many decisions for other people. Is it really about racism and cultural appropriation and disrespect of “the savages?” No I don’t think so. See I don’t think Clarke thinks grounders ARE savages. But I think they are savages. At least the ones who think the only answer to every conflict is to kill everyone who isn’t them.

This is a savage culture. And I do not believe it is coded as POC. I believe equating a savage culture as the same as a POC culture is a racist interpretation. “Well… they’re savage so that means they’re POC.” Excuse me? Says you. POC are not savage. And it’s racist to say they are. The show isn’t saying they are. The fans are. I don’t like it. It offends me.

No. The fandom will not be upset if Raven takes the flame.

Why?

Because her taking it doesn’t fit the narrative that they’re telling. So they’ll switch the story around to be something else. Perhaps remembering that it’s not a respected ancient tradition, but a computer chip and and AI, and a piece of technology that Raven can actually USE, since she understands all of that and is closer to Becca Pramheda than any of the grounders. Raven is the intellectual heir to Becca. Even though it’s left to Clarke to solve the problems that Becca left them. Oh look at that. Clarke’s the fleimkepa again.

Not to mention, it probably won’t be used to create a ruler anymore. How can they trust it? It’s an AI. Nightblood can be created by science. I don’t believe that Clarke intended to rule the grounders anyway. She just wanted them to stop fighting. But that’s my speculation.

I’m not into the theories people have been spreading about Clarke and the flame and all that. It doesn’t fit the narrative of the show.

#the 100 #clarke griffin #the flame #fleimkepa #raven reyes #titus #becca #an alternate interpretation #i think we should always question the concepts that everyone jumps on board with

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the-little-red-noodle · 5 years

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7/17/19 5:57pm

Why am i letting myself get all pent up about this right now? Sami we have other shit to deal with, there is other shit on the plate, can u just not fuck this up too? But then the other side of me is like .... stir the pot.

I just woke up from a depression meds nap. I’m starting 2 new prescriptions today, one for depression/anxiety and another for sleep. My psychiatrist kinda wanted to put me back on antipsychotics but i talked her out of it for now, i don’t think it’s the main issue. We talked about what was going on and where my head is right now and the threats at hand, and went with 2 drugs made for depression treatment, and both cause drowsiness. So i took the daily one at 3 passed tf out. To be fair, one of my biggest problems right now is not sleeping.

Mark is not helping with this as he keeps me up all night. Last night we had another sleepover.. cuddling and talking and dumb shit that made me happy in the moment but is making me sick right now. I’m really glad to have a break from seeing him for a couple days. Spent like two days straight with him with this energy. Almost all of yesterday, the whole night and all this morning until i had to go to my psychiatrist appointment and he was already texting me when i was driving home. This is great if it’s for a really tight friendship but god is that what this energy is?

Every once in a while while we were hanging out he’d say something about friendship and we’re just friends ha ha and I’m kinda irritated by it. I think we’ve just spent too much time together in one sitting where we’re flirting and spending the night together and we went out driving and you kept walking really close to me and ignoring other people?

Am i going crazy? This is all in my head. It’s not going to happen. Or I’m gunna make a premature move on him and get rejected and make this mess 10 times bigger and i really need his friendship right now. I was happy to be living at zeta for the past 2 days cuz it meant that i wasn’t left alone but now that I’m home with my own room and no one checking in on how I’m doing I’m scared again about self harming or falling into an isolation pit..

He’s already asking when we’re hanging out next.. iiiiiiiiii.. fucckkkinnn... wuuut is this? Maybe?

Maybe we both just accept that things aren’t going to happen yet cuz i need time but we’ve assumed the roles of bf/gf anyway because we’re both lonely and damn it’s nice to text someone that you miss them and love them. But mark isnt just someone, he’s mark. And when i think about us getting together, i want it to be right, cuz i kinda think it could last. He’s no rebound or short term casual thing.. like he’s him. And he means a lot to me. So GOD DAMNIT STOP TRYING TO FUCK THIS UP.

I need a break from seeing him. I need to not be having sleepovers with him in baggy shorts ahhh

Stahp et.

The next few days i have to myself. Tonight i have my dads birthday party (yike) which i probably should start getting ready for. Time to put on my happy face and hang out with my dad and his mistress cough i mean girlfriend. I should write him a card.. I’ve been a terrible daughter these past two weeks but if he knew that i knew, he’d understand. Just not allowed to talk about it..

Then thursday becca and i are doing a meditation class and then next weekend a getaway weekend trip with jay :) i need to make some more plans and stay busy or else I’m gunna want to be hanging around zeta, sleeping in the spare room with my new standin boyfriend who i can’t even makeout with and FUCK THIS IS ANNOYING

Both of us were talking about being sexually frustrated and lonely and our sexual experiences and i would get that little twinge of jealousy hearing about him being super passionate with other people and softly to myself being like, i could be better.. but it’s not the right time.. and i know that.. but omigod we almost kissed like 5 times and he kept putting his head really close to mine and fuck i wanna dieee

#samiswriting

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