#this is so angsty i'm so sorry jfc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blooming-violets · 1 month

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Shit I forgot to put this in my rb but I wanted to ask what do you think would happen to reader if Peter actually went through with it? I'd like to be a but optimistic and say she surely but slowly recovers from it all but I'm not so sure. How would Aunt May react to that? Becoming a widow then a grieving mother in the span of a few years? Sorry I don't mean to be pushy but like I said I loved the way you beautifully crafted this story from an ask

Trigger Warnings!!!!: it's all about suicide and talking about it and discussing it, it is not something everyone feels comfortable reading or conversing about so please don't continue if it is too upsetting for you, Peter Parker kills himself and I write about it, Gwen's death ptsd is explored and he sees her as a rotting corpse version of herself who talks to him before he dies, the grief of losing someone you love to suicide is also talked about, it's all depressing but if you love depressing angst shit then come on over and join in (not join in on the killing yourself part jfc I mean joining in on the talking about this story) READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION only you know what you are capable of handling when you read. I can't help you any further than explaining the warnings.

Previous posts where this is all discussed:

[first part] [second part] and I rewrite this drabble from two years ago to fit this story but you can read the original here if you feel like it (it ends with less death that this one).

One of my darker, more angsty headcanons is that Peter kills himself by throwing himself off the same clock tower Gwen died in. It takes a few years for it to get rebuilt back to it's former glory. Peter patiently waits those years until it's finally finished. Almost a quiet, stoic sort of patience. A little scary with how composed he is. Like not given any indication of his plans. He wears a beautifully composed mask until the day it happens because he is so sure in his plans and doesn't want a single person to sway him from them. He's stubborn and set in his ways and this is what he feels he needs to do. This headcanon doesn't exactly fit into the story I wrote as that version of Peter is much more unhinged in his actions, and I don't think clocktower Peter could ever let himself get into a relationship because he's too obsessed with Gwen still and knows he's going to die so he's not going to bring anyone else into that mess, but it's just a little random headcanon I always had so I thought I would share since this is suicide talking hour. Maybe I can rework it a bit to fit with this story better.

Let's say unhinged Peter (as I'm calling him now lol) does let the ghosts win. What happens to our Reader character would entirely depend on when in the relationship he went through with it. If she's too far gone and too far down the hole after Peter, then I sort of fear for her future. Unless she has someone really important in her life who would help her, I think she would just keep sinking until she ended up back on that ledge, except this time there's no Peter to catch her. And I personally don't think she has anyone that close to her, especially after mentioning that all her friends stopped texting her or asking her to hang out. They all kind of gave up on her so, when she's at her lowest, I really don't think anyone would be the wiser due to the isolation they both put themselves in.

I want to rewrite something I wrote two years ago that either wasn't that great and people didn't like or it just slipped under the radar (because it wasn't about an x reader or love or anything, it was just Peter's ptsd taking over and sometimes people don't give a shit about a fic if it isn't tagged with x reader). It fits really well in this new story to help show what could go on in Peter's head with how terribly Gwen still sticks with him and what exactly it is he's "seeing" that would push him to throwing himself off a building.

Cut to me pausing to frantically google if Peter Parker could survive a fall off a building or if his super powers make him strong enough to withstand it...

Okay maybe falling isn't the best plan of action but I really like (like isn't the right word but I'm going with it) that idea of him mimicking Gwen's death because he's so haunted by it. He would want to feel what she felt. He would want to go the same way. So for the sake of this story, he's can't withstand that fall.

“Leave me alone!” Peter shouted into the dark shadows of the clock tower. He sat huddled against the newly built glass wall that domed up over his head. The bright, white light of the moon hung in the sky above him and casted wavering shadows around him to mess with his vision. The turning of grinding gears below him haunted his memories of the night Gwen died. Eight years and she still haunted him every time he dared to fall asleep.

He couldn't take it anymore. His head was a mess. His thoughts were spinning.

He was just so tired.

He had fallen asleep here accidentally. Maybe if he went to the source of the problem, she would disappear. It was a stupid plan

It only made her stronger. This was where his ghost of her was most alive.

Maybe that's why he really showed up. He wanted to see her. He wanted to finally confront his demons. She was calling to him and he had to answer.

He had slipped a crushed up sleeping pill into his girlfriends water during dinner. He carried her bed, tucked her in, and kissed her soft and gently. She didn't need to see this. This wasn't for her. She needed to be free of him. He needed to let her go before it was too late. She wouldn't understand at first but, maybe, with time...

What had time ever done for him except make Gwen stronger?

He slipped an envelope onto the bedside table beside her. One for her. One for May. He wasn't sure if he would make it home this time. His mind could still change. He could still make it back before she woke up.

But they were.

Just in case.

He couldn't leave them with nothing.

She was here now. Ready to haunt him like usual. Ready to take over and ruin him. Night after night. Day after day. She was always there. Gwen never left. She walked beside him through it all.

Tonight, she was angry. Furious. This was where he had let her die. Of course, she would be the most powerful here.

He no longer had his girlfriend to help soften Gwen's blows. There was no one to intervene. Only him and Gwen. Stuck in a staring contest. Sizing each other up.

The sunken in face of his dead lover glared back at him from just below his edge of his of his perch, trembling from the sight under him. She was standing on top of a giant gear, watching him, judging him. A large smile grew across her pale, bluing lips. It was too wide. Too big for her face. Her teeth looked rotten and jagged inside of her mouth. A trickle of blood slowly trailed out of her nostril.

“What’s the matter, Peter?” She taunted. Her sickly voice swirled around his head like a swarm of mosquitos. “Did you miss me? Is that why you came here? To see me clearly again? Well, here I am. Look at me. Dead. Putrefied. All for you. Aren't I beautiful? This is what you've done to me.”

A loud sob shuddered through his chest and ripped out his throat. He brought up a hand to wipe away the snot flowing freely out his nose. This nightmare was too familiar. He knew this too well. He didn't feel like he was dreaming this time. He never did.

If it wasn't a dream then his mind was truly gone. Distinguishing between reality and fiction was something he no longer had control over.

This was as real to him as anything.

“Please, Gwen. Please,” he pleaded with her. “Go away. I can’t do this again. Please. You have to let me go."

She tutted her tongue in annoyance and shook her head with disbelief, “Oh, Peter. I have to let you go? Do you think I want to be here?” She became climbing up the gears and the scaffolding towards him. She looked more like himself as she climbed, enhanced and spider-like, taking the movements straight out his brain until she was perching on the ledge beside him. “Do you think this fun for me?”

Peter whimpered in response. His tears were blurring his vision but he was afraid to wipe them away. He was terrified of what might happen if he took his eyes off of her, like watching a snake in the grass, it's better if you can see it in your sights instead of letting it hide and able to strike.

Gwen walked with slow, purposeful steps towards him until she stood directly over him as he cowered backwards on all fours. Under the pale moonlight hanging above them, her skin turned yellow, painted with purpling hues and blacks, and rotting away around her cheekbones to show parts of red, bleeding muscle under the pulled back skin. Her, once vibrant, blonde hair now hung in patchy strands from her head. Most of her hair had fallen out leaving her balding and sickly. When she smiled, browning, broken teeth shone back at him, they hung lose in her jaw, rattling around when she spoke.

She was a walking, decaying corpse sent to haunt him every time he closed his eyes.

“Look at what you’ve done to me!” Her shrill voice echoed off the glass walls. She spun around to show him the back of her head. Her skull was caved in. Parts of brain matter clung to her hair and blood stained what was left of the blonde a deep red. She turned back to face him, leaning in close so she was mere inches away. He could smell the heavy scent of freshly dug dirt and wet grass clinging to her rotting finger nails like she had clawed her way straight out of the ground to find him.

She snarled, “You did this, Peter! This is your fault!”

Peter flinched and scrambled backwards to get away from her, “No! Please, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn't know...I didn't know...I thought I could catch you. I thought I could save you. I'm sorry. Please, Gwen. Please. I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t change the fact that I’m dead,” she smirked, eyes darkening, enjoying his torment. She sunk down to her hands and knees to crawl over him, pressing her skeletal body against him, until he was laying flat against the ground with no where else to go.

"Look at me," she whispered into his ear. “I was going to go Oxford. I was going to be a scientist. I was going to change the world. The only way I can change the world now is by letting the worms feast through my flesh until there is nothing left. Something tasty for the bugs. That's all I am now.”

Peter whimpered, turning his head away from her and flinching into himself.

He heard her sniffle like she was about to start crying. He hated hearing her cry.

"Don't you love me anymore, Peter?" She whined. "Don't you care about me? Why did you find someone else? Why did you forget me so quickly? I loved you so much and you left me for the worms. Only they kiss my skin now."

His heart sank and guilt flooded him. Slowly, he turned his head to face her, blinking up at her. For a moment, she looked just like he remembered. Beautiful. Whole. Healthy. Alive.

Peter gave a shuddered, shaky breath, whispering in awe, "Gwen."

She beamed down at him. There were no rotting teeth, no blood, her hair was full and luscious. She was glowing under golden light with happy tears in her eyes like his memory of her on top of the Brooklyn Bridge.

"Kiss me," she whispered against his lips. "Like you used to."

Peter's eyes slipped close. His heart ached.

"I can't," he mumbled back. "I love someone else now. I love her like I loved you. She..."

He needed to get back to her. She needed him. He needed her. He should have never left her tonight. He had to leave.

A wailing growl shot ice through his veins as Gwen let out a shriek of pain as if she had read his mind. She was back to her decaying corpse. The sight terrified him.

"You will not leave me! I won't let you! You're mine, Peter! Mine!"

Peter kicked up his feet to shove her off of him. He scrambled backwards away from the haunting vision.

"I can't, Gwen," he pleaded. "I can't be with you anymore."

He frantically shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut, in an attempt to make her disappear. Usually by now, his girlfriend would hear him screaming. She'd be here to block Gwen from his sights. She'd be there to force her away until he was safe.

Tonight, there was no one but him.

"This isn't real," he muttered to himself. "She's not really here. She's dead. She's buried underground. Locked in a coffin. This isn't real. When I open my eyes, she'll be gone."

He peaked an eye open. A sense of relief washed over him. He was alone in the clock tower. There was no one here but him.

He could still go home. He could still make it back to her before she woke up and rid her bed side of those letters.

She would never have to know.

Peter took a deep breath, half way through exhaling it when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

Gwen's decomposing face poked into his peripheral vision as she whispered menacingly in his ear, "Boo."

He screamed, jumping away, to the sound of her taunting laughter.

"I'm still here, Peter!" She cackled. "You can't get rid of me that easily! I am always going to be here. I am always going to follow you. I will never let you go." Her voice softened. Almost sweet. Sad. Longing. "Because I'm your path, Peter. I am always going to be your path. Follow me everywhere just like you promised. I want you to follow me. I need you..."

She reached out her hand for him to take. The skin had rotted away around the tips of her fingers leaving nothing by bones reaching for him.

This wasn't his Gwen. His Gwen was dead. She was buried in the ground surrounded by fresh flowers. The thing in front of him was nothing but a product of his own twisted mind. Birthed from his guilt and excruciating pain. A monster of his own creation.

"I can't," he choked out through his tears. "Someone else needs me now. I'm sorry. I love you. I will always love you. But I can't follow you. Not yet."

Anger flashed over her darkened, bloodshot eyes, “No! You promised you’d follow me anywhere. Follow me to the grave, you liar!”

Peter cringed at her harsh words. Tears blurring his vision. He had promised.

"Gwen, please," he begged. "Let me go."

Her face softened. He watched her grow back into old self again. Her rich purple dress. Lace tights. Knee high boots. Pale blue jacket. All highlighting her perfectly beautiful face. Large, bright green eyes without a blonde hair out of place. Always so put together. Always nothing less than perfection.

"You want me to go?" She asked, turning around slowly for her to take him in. There was no crack in the back of her skull. No blood.

His breath caught in his throat. He tried to reach out for her, to draw her closer against him, but she stepped away. Just out of his reach.

"You want me to go so I'll go." She whispered. "But you'll have to watch. Again and again and again. You'll have to listen to the sound of my skull cracking against the pavement. Hear my spine snap as your web jerks me upwards. Smell my blood pouring from my open, split open head." A trickle of red blood started to leak out her nose as her eyes closed. "Only you can make it all stop. Only you can make me go away. You know exactly how to do it, Peter. All you have to do is follow me. Just like you promised. Follow me and it will all end."

He blinked through his tears, taking a slow step towards her.

"Follow you," he muttered in a trance like state. "I'll follow you anywhere you go. You're my path. I'll write my love for you across the Brooklyn Bridge so everyone in New York can see it."

She smiled, soft and sweet, "Follow me. Don't leave me alone. Stay with me, Peter. Forever."

"Forever..."

Her arms out stretched to her sides and she leaned back, stepping off the ledge and sinking out of sight past the giant gears, hurdling straight towards her death.

"No!" He shouted.

Without thinking, without caring, Peter leapt after her. He had done this move so many times in his nightmares. He had obsessively walked through every single second of her death. Again and again just like she said. He knew it better than he knew himself.

He jumped on instinct. He leapt after her like he always did.

Keeping his promise. Following her down any path she took.

I know you asked how May and Reader would respond to such a thing afterwards but that's like one topic that's just a little too hard for me to write about. I know it's weird that I can talk about Peter throwing himself to his death and I can write about depression and suicidal ideation and self harm and ptsd and guilt and feelings of worthlessness but writing about someone like May (who I relate far too much to my own mother) finding her boy dead is just a hair too much for my heart to take haha. I was originally going to write a scene of his funeral but then I was like nah too much for even me. I can't watch May cry over her dead kid.

I will say that he would be buried next to his parents under the same gravestone which sits besides Ben's. It's a few rows down from Gwen so Peter can always be near her.

I don't even think I actually answered your original ask but I got carried away with Peter in the clock tower!

Also May puts matching flowers on both Peter's and Gwen's graves every time she visits. hahahaha i gotta stop writing fuck me

#andrew garfield #tasm #peter parker #tasm peter #tasm peter parker #tasm x reader #peter parker x reader #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker x reader #tasm fic #peter parker fic #tasm angst #peter parker angst

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chaoticsoulsword · 1 year

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if you could write pokemas villain arcs, what would you do? and what do you realistically hope to see in future villain arcs? all i really want at this point is archie and maxie sygna suits

Hi, anon! Thanks for asking and sorry in advance about the long post, I'm releasing my full potential for this question weofwoewo

Well, first, I can understand why they're using Team Rocket over and over in order to manipulate other teams, it works just fine for them, but at the same time I find it a bit repetitive, so I'd avoid that for a new whole arc across generations. The plots would be focused on their own respective regions instead of a main theme. BUT there will be a common theme going on, and that is *VILLAIN ADMINS*

PS: let's just assume Paulo is always involved in these stories, but since he got his own prologues, I won't be focusing on him.

- For Kanto, of course, Team Rocket would the main antagonist. I wouldn't give another alt to Giovanni since he has three pairs already, so I'd focus on other characters. I thought of giving the main trio each a legendary bird just like Galar did but then again, Blue has too many sync pairs, he doesn't need one more. Personally, I'd give an alt to Green (maybe a Jigglypuff?), and since I also adore Brock, I'd give him a "competitive" sync pair (Omastar or Kabutops, perhaps). Lastly, a Cloyster for Lorelei just because. Plot-wise, I'd insert Jessie and James again (and would bring back their event), introducing some kind of character development for them. They're also getting new alts, a Seviper for Jessie and a Cacnea for James. They'd help Giovanni steal some of Lear's technology (or simply stealing money from a random competition, there's plenty of them) at the start of the story, but they'd face a situation that demanded some altruism/heroism from them, forcing them to change sides momentarily and thus frustrating Giovanni's plan, who would be oblivious to their good deeds. Still, Giovanni would get away with some advantage because it's him.

- Johto would follow the consequences of Giovanni's success at stealing info, maybe something regarding the legendary beasts. Since Kris already got a Suicune, I'd give shiny beasts (just like the event) to Lyra (Suicine), Ethan (Raikou) and Silver (Entei). The story would be focused on Silver and Giovanni's relationship (and I know it's cliche but come on, it's the angsty, delicious food we love to see) and also Ethan's bond with Silver. Lorelei and Clair would assist them just because it's my super rare ship and there's so little content on them ;-; Instead of Jessie and James, however, the spotlight would go to the other admins and their sync pairs' debut: Petrel (Weezing), Ariana (Arbok) and Archer (Golbat). See the similarity with Jessie and James? Except that they wouldn't be around. We could also get some hint that Ariana is Silver's mom (if we can get confirmation that Cyrus was the boy who wrote about Rotom, we can have that as well idc).

- NOW BRACE YOURSELF! IT'S TIME TO GO WILD FOR HOENN AND HARDENSHIPPING. First off, nothing against Zinnia and Steven but FUCK THEM. NO ZINNIA AND STEVEN STEALING THE PROTAGONISM FROM MY ECOTERRORISTS. The story could be anything as long as they're following the events of the last Hoenn arc, in which Archie and Maxie agreed on a truce. Except that the legendaries are insane and obviously would end up fighting again. I think Jirachi could be involved, kinda causing trouble bc of the wishes, and that would be the reason they'd fight. I know it's biased af and unrealistic to give alts to villains only, and although there's a hint that Archie met a Jirachi once, I'd do that for either May or Brendan (probably Brendan bc May has far too many alts jfc). Doesn't mean our ecoterrorists are not getting anything, though. That's right, they be getting a primal form for their respective legendaries. BUT the new sync pairs? ADMINS. IDC THERE'S A MEGA-SHARPEDO IN THE GAME ALREADY. MOVE YOUR ASS, GRIMSLEY, SHELLY IS ALSO GETTING A M-SHARPEDO. Tabitha and Matt are also joining the game with sync pairs (Torkoal and Relicanth. Doesn't make any sense but I can't just give them another Sharpedo and Camerupt pls fighting for my life here ;-;). The ending would be gay af idc. It would be so gay Steven and Wallace would feel embarrassed. (Wallace will get a new sync on the next rotation, sorry, Wallace). Also also, next rotation, we're also getting sygna suits for Archie and Maxie, and they be matching!! Any pokémon is alright, as long as they're related. Maybe.. Oh, Plusle and Minun??? Since they're opposites but also red/blue?? I've seen fanart of these alts too now that I think about it!! Perfection!!

- *heavy breathing* Bear with me, we're getting into sensitive territory now (at least for me). Sinnoh... Sinnoh, my beloved *gumball crying meme* Okay, okay. So... Okay let's go with unhinged Arceus. Let's go with bitchy Arceus trying to interfere with Pasio because it was not its creation. Let's go with Arceus forcing the protagonists and Team Galactic to work together to stop its little tantrum. And that would be perfect for Cyrus to bond with the admins. Yes, all the admins are getting sync pairs! Mars and Purugly, Jupiter and Skuntank and Saturn and Toxicroak. But you know who elseeeee is getting a new alt? *evil laughter* I'M GIVING CYRUS A ROTOM. YOU KNOW SOPHOCLES'S FRIEND'S ROTOM? FUCK THAT FRIEND. THEY DIED IDGAF. ROTOM IS ALL ALONE AND WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF IT NOW? THAT'S IT. THAT'S MY CYRUS FTW *explosions on the background* I also love Cynthia but plssss, no more alts oewifewoiwoi and what do you mean the protagonists need new alts? Okay, give Arceus to Lucas whatever.

- Unova, OBVIOUSLY, will have Ghetsis and N involved. But we're also getting Zinzolin and Cryogonal, and perhaps one ninja from the shadow triad (once again, I love you, Grimsley, but you're stealing ppl's signature pokémon ;-;). I also need Colress to go "tee-hee" with the war crimes just because it's funny. Diantha may have stolen Keldeo, but let's give the muskeeters to Rosa (Virizion), Nate (Terrakion) and Iris (Cobalion) (sorry, Pasio's main character). I'd love to introduce the triplets with the elemental monkeys but let's be honest, between the triplets and the submas, who on Earth would not go with submas? Ingo getting a Chandelure and Emmet, a Galvantula or Eelektross. Almost related but not quite, Roxie deserves an EX SO BAD. Roxie is getting an EX. Plot-wise, Ghetsis is after the muskeeters because he wants power and that's it. Family drama unfolds, N will suffer again yadda yadda. Ingo and Emmet are super involved tho. Because I said so. Next rotation, it's the triplets' turn, sorry.

- Oof, let's move on to Kalos. We just recently had a story that I found super boring booooo. Obviously, I'll go with perfectworldshipping, only with more drama. Sycamore getting an alt bc he was supposed to get one LAST MONTH AND HE DIDN'T, THAT'S HOMOPHOBIA. I know this is unpopular opinion but maybe an Aromatisse or Slurpuff. I like these Pokémon and I think Fairy is a type that matches Sycamore. You know who else we getitng? That's right, you were never able to play with AZ's Floette, but this ends NOW! AZ is making it into the game. Drasna and Malva are also debutting as playable characters (it's just a matter of time, after all). Regarding the plot... wouldn't it be chaotic fun if Lear's Hoopa met with a different Hoopa? *evil laughter* yes, I'd force Lysandre to work with the protagonists just for once, jfc, stop being such a little bitch and help them keep Pasio beautiful and less chaotic thanks. Calem is getting Hoopa just bc Serena has too many pairs already.

- I must confess that I haven't played the games from this point on cause I can't afford them anymore but let's try my best with the little I know about the next regions. Alola will be once again focused on Guzma and Lusamine. But I want to give the spotlight to Team Skull and not the Aether Foundation. Maybe, MAYBE, we can work with Giovanni, forcing the teams to fight in order to prevent him from bringing the rest of Rainbow Rocket to Pasio. But why Selene and Elio are so underappreciated in this game????? I'll most definitely give them alts. Zeraora is going to Elio and Blacephalon, to Selene. Melmetal goes to Guzma bc I said so.

- Galar already has a hint that Rose is making it to the game this year, so I'll just assume he'll be involved in whatever. Leon already got Eternatus, so I really don't have any idea of what could be possibly used as a plot device to move things around. Just please give someone, ANYONE, a Cinderace. No more alts, tho. Galar had the spotlight just this month, that would be insane and I can't take any more crystal wall characters, PLEASE, and I say that with tears in my eyes because I love Leon.

- No idea what's going on with Paldea aside from the professors abandoning Arven. I just need Rika and Clodsire, Larry and Komala, and whatever Geeta's signature pokémon is. Sorry, I don't know much about this region and I'm trying to avoid as many spoilers as possible until I can finally play it someday.

Aaaaand that's it. I'm not normal about pokemas as you can see =D thank you for the opportunity to go wild for them <3 have an excellent day/night!

#pokemas #i'm insane #i know

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graunblida · 4 years

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“ i don’t want us to be strangers again . ” for that one au 👀

@azrpa | saige lost the meme oop | perhaps accepting??

“ maybe that’s all we should be. “ the words are low and spoken softly. they converse by candle light, long after the ambassadors have left the throne room. the subject has been on the commander’s mind for some time, but no matter how she spins their situation, there is no outcome she can foresee that ends well. whenever it has come to matters of the heart, lexa has never been completely sure of herself.

“ those closest to me often meet…untimely ends. “ she explains to octavia. her mother and father. her sister. anya. kostia. she can’t exactly prove it’s an omen, or that she’s cursed somehow, but there’s enough of a pattern to cause concern. eyes are a cloudy green, sad, vulnerable. “ i can’t won’t risk you. “ she can’t quite discern exactly what she feels for the other warrior, only that it is strong and true.

#azrpa #c; octavia kom azgeda #v: tbd #ii. my truth will be my own » answered.#jfc she's so dramatic #i'm sorry o #oh man i gotta come up with some angsty tags :eyes:#get some evanescence up in here istg pfff

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thedarkenedkeeper · 6 years

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I swear to god, this has got to be the most difficult chapter to write, not even kidding. I’m so sorry for taking so long on not getting it out sooner!

#there's no angst gore or anything disturbing or scary #not a lot happens #which makes it all the more difficult to write #but I feel it's a necessary part for the story #plus it gives you guys a nice break before all hell breaks loose #jfc it's so hard for me to get in the right head space and write this chapter as easily as the others #I absolutely loved writing the gory stuff and really angsty or creepy stuff in the other chapters #so naturally those were a lot of fun to write and I could write easily just like that!#but this chapter man...jeez #like I can easily picture it all in my head but writing it out is a challenge #I'm so sorry I'm taking so long!#glitched

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onsunnyside · 2 years

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um. sonny. i have so many thots about daddy ari and his sugar babies. i'm sorry in advance. first, johnny would be the hammiest sugar baby! he'd love being spoiled with fast cars, nice clothes, and expensive trips - surfing shipstern bluff in australia, cliff climbing in greece, and lots of extreme motorsports like rally driving and bmx for this sugary boy. though he loves women, he's definitely experimented with men in the past. he and reader would have so much sexual tension between them before ever meeting ari or considering an arrangement. reader would be the more pliant one. ari's sweet girl. johnny would provide a challenge. ari would probably have rules in place, which could easily lead to him being controlling and even financially abusive, if you chose to write him that way. omg. how great would dark!sugar daddy!ari be?? oof. rule numero uno, no sex or romantic relationships outside of the arrangement, ..which i could honestly see johnny breaking. i mean, he'd be so tempted to fuck a model at fashion week in milan or smth, especially if he and the reader were still navigating their feelings for each other. that could be a huge drama with ari cutting him off and accusing him of endangering the reader and her health. not to mention all of the filthy sex and excessive luxury. other thots i had were reader giving johnny aftercare after ari tops him, ari filming and directing johnny x reader in the bedroom, and ari using the reader to punish johnny. jfc. - bratty spice

it seems whenever you come into my inbox, I drop to my knees in your greatness 🧎‍♀️ hehe dark!sugar daddy!ari below:

yes yes yes to everything you said about Johnny !! his lifeline would be the sugar baby life, after all, it's the only way to feed his rich lifestyle. the story of you and him navigating your feelings would be so cute !! probably angsty too since he has a hard time controlling himself. oh and ofc him and ari really like filling up both of your holes at the same time, they've got the dirtiest mouths and ✨creampies✨ all the time.

AT THE SAME TIME: I can't help but think of a different pairing with bratty!reader (sort of like a girl version of the Johnny you wrote up there^). Along with dark!Ari, Johnny would be soft!dark or dark! too but I wouldn't know how to write it. just thinking of him being a less intense version of ari with rule enforcement and punishment. he lets you get away with little things, but when ari is around, he's quite harsh (bc he's still a sugar baby and needs to be on his best behaviour) 😳😳 which would lead to him and ari connecting on a deeper level of ownership over you. two brat tamers, and one who is just as spoiled as you.

I'm indecisive

#tw dark #sugar daddy ari au #bratty spice anon

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youshouldvecometoshiratorigaywa · 3 years

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The News

***

It's post time skip, I'm feeling extra angsty today so enjoy babes!

***

He didn't got the news from a person, no. It was much worse.

Eita just got out of the jewelry store, he heard sirens as he saw ambulance drive past him.

There was a lot of cars and people two blocks away from he was right now, and if he wasn't in a hurry he would have gone check it out, but Kenjirou's shift was almost iver and he needed to get to their home before him so he could hide the ring until the right time.

He got in his car, thinking about how would Kenjirou react when he will ask him to be his forever, when he'll ask him to be Kenjirou Semi.

A thousandth fantasies were running in his head as he drove home.

He parked his car, slamming the door behind him and walking toward the home he and Kenjirou bought three years ago.

As he opened the door he pulled his phone out of his pocket, a lot of missing calls from Taichi and messages from Taichi, Reon, Hayto, Goshiki, Tendou and Ushijima.

***

Reon

Are you okay? I'm here for you no matter what

***

Hayto

Man I'm so so so sorry, how are you doing?

***

Goshiki

Semi Senpai are you okay?

***

Tendou

I'm omw, how r u?

***

Ushijima

I'm so sorry Eita, Tendou and I are on oir way to Japan, I'm sorry for your lost

***

Taichi

SEMI!

EITA!!

EITA SEMI YOU BETTER ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!

JFC!!

DON'T YOU DARE WATCH THE NEWS I'M OMW!

***

Semi dropped his phone on the floor, his breath hitching and everything became blurry. He throw the bag with the red box inside it to the side.

Going to the living room and turning the TV on.

A few minutes later Taichi ran into his living room, tears on his face and Semi turned to look at him.

"Damn you! I told you not to watch the news!" Taichi screamed at him.

"Kenjirou.."

"I'm so sorry Eita! I'm-" he stopped, looking at Semi as the older man sobbed.

"I was.. I planned on.." Eita said, his heart being ripped to pieces.

His Kenjirou died in a car crush, the same car crush that he ignored earlier.

"...I wanted to marry him" he whispered, more tears rolling down his face.

#haikyuu!!#semi eita #shirabu kenjirō #semishira #taichi kawanishi #reon ohira #yamagata hayato #goshiki tsutomu #tendou satori #ushijima wakatoshi #shiratorizawa #angst #i'm sorry

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sipsteainanxiety · 3 years

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Hiii. Popping by to say I've read all of Forget Me Not so far! To be honest, I can't relate to reader's personality and that makes it kinda difficult, but ugh the story is so great! I'm pissed at her parents, I feel bad for Bakugou, I HAD A FEELING THAT BABY WAS THEIRS jfc I knew adopting the bab was weird of the parents and then the connections were made- and then going back to the flashback when the doctor threatens reader? I thought it was Bakugou he was threatening to hurt, but maybe it was the BABY?!?!?! And I first picked a random recent chapter to look over and I was like who is this trainer guy??? Is he the new love interest? But I'm here for Katsuki! >:[ But then I read from the beginning and sjdgsjsvsjsbsnsh dude!!!!!! And the whole plot of being kidnapped and memory loss and forgotten love- it hurts but I can't get enough!

hello!! thank you for reading it first of all LMAO ik it’s kind of an angsty, reader-centric story so it’s not exactly everyone’s cup of tea LOL yeahhh reader’s personality is… hmmm. well it’ll probably be a hit or miss for most people i dunno, can’t please everyone 🤷‍♀️ angst w a happy ending is a personal story fave of mine so of COURSE im gonna make yall suffer as much as possible HAHA i thought i wasn’t being subtle at all with certain things but i guess i was? because it’s so funny seeing people question everything and being like “no…. it cant be…. but wait… what if it is?!?” i love it.

idk what to tell u, this is actually an oc x reader lmao. bakugou who? sorry idk him. but yes amnesia stories? forgotten love? YUM. delicious absolutely delicious. i rly am glad to hear you like it! and hopefully these next chapters will meet expectations :))

#fmn rambles #im also open to constructive criticism btw 😳#always looking to improve 😌 esp since ive got other long fics in the works LOL #a nonny mouse #sipping tea with shay

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lallemanting · 4 years

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Soooo just wanted to say I'm super excited for this FWOG update! I'm like bursting at the seams! This will be one of those that I reread over and over and over again. Loved the angst, development of their relationship, the supportive friends Alll of it. Do you read fics? Would you recommend any that you've read recently that hit you in the face???? I'd love to know if u have any recs. ❤

ahh anon!! thank you for the kind words and I hope you enjoyed the update! sorry for the delay on this but I really wanted to take time and not forget stuff! as always I do have a “fic rec” tag for anything I read and enjoy if you want to check that out.

but to get more specific here are some “hit you in the face” (asjkslsj this is exactly how I’d describe it too) fics, aka my emotional support fics. a lot of these you’ve probably read if you read elu fic, and also a lot of them are one shots, but I’ve never done one of these lists myself so here you go:

gonna start (unsurprisingly) with nat @lepetitepeach and my fave elu series maybe it starts now. talk about getting punched in the face by a fic!! it’s heartwrenching and beautifully written and has literally made me gasp on multiple occasions. my favorite part is no one ever tried like you but please please read the whole thing. (my other fave fic from nat is la lune et le soleil but really I’d recommend anything from her!!)

next!! reduce it to a touch (but maybe we’re in love) by @lumierelovers. this fic!! it’s SO good really like I love all anna’s fics but this one has stuck with me and I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve reread it. there’s just a softness and obliviousness to them in this that’s so heartwrenching and satisfying oooooof (also highly recommend illusion of bliss obvs and lumière, darling)

onto lauren!! in the hope that you’ll see me by @tawmlinsun I mean big oof. this fic is so tender and raw and beautiful and I, my god, I’ve read it a lot because it’s gorgeous just like everything lauren writes. another fave is if I can recognize real and I’m also highly invested in gold to you

next is maybe everything by @mauuvelesbian. I am not kidding when I say kath has this talent that makes it so I like feel my heart in my chest every time I read one of her fics. faves include: i think i’ll borrow tomorrow’s happiness for today, all your words in disguise, making me think like you’re mine, and of course the god tier coffee shop au

a catalogue of afternoons by @oheliotts hit me so hard that I still remember exactly where I was when I first read it. it’s beautiful, slightly angsty in the way you want and so so lovely and romantic and damn please read it!! (also PLEASE read things I forgot to tell you if you somehow haven’t yet because that’s a whole other brand of beautiful and heartwrenching and god tier writing)

em (@eliottamoureux)!!! look I ADORE alors laisse-moi tenir tes mains (dans les trous de mon pull)!!! it’s got that period-piece edge and em’s particular brand of soft and adorable elu that had me screaming and so so invested. it’s just such a gorgeous and unique fic and all I can say is please read it. (also pas peur is next on my list!! the pieces I’ve read are so beautiful - em really does eliott POV like no other - but I blame getting into this fandom late on why I’ve somehow not read it through yet)

in a shocking twist I’m gonna rec tempo by @surrealsunday!! I mean, look no further for the kind of heart pinching angsty shenanigans that have me re-reading again and again as well as incredible moments of tenderness and a level of humor that I’m very much in awe of. it’s become a fandom classic for a reason (also currently reading hollow edge but I have to catch up!!)

felt like it’s only fair to rec the fic that basically inspired me to start writing for skamfr. it’s a brief for the defense by @unquaintly and idk why but I had to like take a walk after reading this. just like everything she writes, the descriptions are so incredibly beautiful and I found myself feeling like I’d actually left this world while reading it. keep in mind I’d never seen pacific rim so I had no idea what I was getting into and it still floored me so…

and finally the last thing I hear at night (and the first thing in the morning)…I just this fic really hit me in the feels with it’s understanding and romance and gorgeous writing and jfc I return to it when I need a serotonin boost truly. like it hit me in the face but I thanked it for that, you know?? anyway, please read

hopefully this was helpful anon!! and happy reading! 💛

#elu fic #fic rec #this got so long but I have so much love for this fandom and it's writers so I don't care #also there are many fics I love that I didn't mention here so pls don't take it personally #i happen to sometimes be dumb and I may have forgotten rn lol

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franeridart · 7 years

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I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best "Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!" or "BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME"?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

Anon said:there's a terushima week. thought i might tell you bc i miss you drawing him ;3; might wanna join? :3

Anon said:Terushima week is this next week! (@terushimaweek) Might we maaaybe see some cute lil bokuroterus sometime soon? ;)

As I’ve already said, sadly I’ve found out about this too late to be part of it - I’m not completely ruling out the possibility of doodling something one of the days, but I didn’t have the time to plan anything and I’m still in the middle of working things through with the bakushima week and bakugou’s birthday so I don’t know - they 19th is Teru’s birthday so maybe I’ll draw something for it, but it’s also a super busy day for me so it really depends on how soon I’ll be able to finish everything else I’m working on orz I’m sorry guys I seriously had no clue about this till, like, five days ago o

Anon said: What are your thoughts on KiriDeku b/c I'm not even that into it but as soon as I saw art I was like "OMFG I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING SO PURE CHOULD EVER EXIST!!!" My following thought was that'd you may have something interesting to say (as you always do, I luv it), so here I am 😁 Also, I love the blog, your amazing art, and you!! I truly appreciate all you do ❤️❤️

Awwww thank you!!! And I dunno, as things are now my opinion on a possible ship might change soon enough because it looks like their interactions amount is about to skyrocket, so anything I say right now is just a temporary answer? But generally I find their friendship incredibly adorable, though as of now I don’t think I can see anything romantic between the two... mostly because even though I’ve seen them being friendly and supportive of each other I don’t think I’ve ever seen them actually connect over anything that wasn’t Bakugou?? Being friendly and supportive is just how they both are with everyone, before I can say I ship them I’m gonna need something more singular to their relationship

I might be totally biased here considering where my main shipping lies, though haha

Anon said:HOSHIHINA!!!! YESSSSS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I think this is like.... my new OTP or well... a new OTP that I will gratefully put on the shelf next to all my other children in love!! oh yeah and THANK YOU for introducing me to both BNHA and d grey man! I'M IN LOVE!!! oH and YOUR ART IS AMAZING!!! KEEP IT UP!! I WILL GRATEFULLY SWALLOW UP ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU POST IT'S AMAZING!!! YOUR OC'S TOO!!! Have a nice day!!

So much!!! HYPE in this ask!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for EVERYTHING anon I hope you’ll have the best day!!!!!! *O* And I’m SUPER GLAD you gave dgm and bnha a try!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Aww the kiss. I know you posted it the other day, but it wouldn't load on my tablet. They're so cute, those two. 💜✌

*lays down forever* they are aren’t they those pure idiots !!!!

Anon said:I'm laughing so hard. Literally everyone that read the new chapter was like expectation vs reality. I love my idiots. Also yas to HoshiHina

HoshiHina is an A+ ship with A+ potential and I think I’m being slowly but surely swallowed by it - then again, what Hinata ship don’t I ship even ??? the mysteries

Anon said:To answer you question on what cheese sticks are, they're this disgusting processed cheese stick, also known as string cheese, and it's p much what it is, cheese in the form of a small stick that you can pull apart into strings and eat like that! (as you may have noticed, I'm not a fan hah) ((I don't know if you know the artist mookie, but she made a comic about bokuto eating a cheesestick whole before)

Anon said: cheese sticks = string cheese? D: they are delicious i promise

I’m seeing conflicting reports here (lol) but yes this might be a problem for me only because as I said I’m Italian but what I’m failing to see here is what kind of cheese are these things supposed to be ???

Anon said:Are you into Kuroken?

Only as very good friends, I don’t ship it romantically at all

Anon said:I love your bakushimas, SO SO SO MUCH. God, and with the latest chapter, I just can't wait for more interactions with them. God, seeing as I think Kirishima was filmed by the people that were there, I want to see Bakugou's reaction to his new move.

This took me long enough to answer that we now know Baku’s reaction was total and utter envy at how popular Kiri is LMAO - but yeah I still think Baku already knew about Kiri’s new move! After all he most probably came up with it as they trained for the license exam and I can’t believe he wouldn’t test it against Bakugou to make sure he actually turns unbreakable? Also proud-of-himself Kiri yelling at the squad to check out his new move is too much of a good image I can’t let that one go hahaha

Anon said:I started following you for Haikyuu but started boku no hero academia in order to understand what your other drawings were so I thank you (and blame you) for getting me hooked on another anime and manga :)

I’m!!!!!! HAPPY you ended up liking it???!!!! *O*

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that you're my most fave artist here in tumblr istg i go to your page everyday just to go back at the fanart you drew if you didn't have any new, but when u have, my heart just swells and i fuss over it. God bless you because you opened my eyes for bakushimanari when i was just kiribaku back then.. God i love denki sfm right now bc of you, im sad bkk week is over though ahh and laven. Jfc i love your laven pls draw them more if u can 😘 i hope you'll have a great day!!

Don’t!!!! worry anon Laven has been my #1 otp since I was sixteen at this point it’s just not gonna leave me ever, I’ll definitely draw more of it in the future! And thank you??? so much?????? Oh man!!!!!

Anon said:Everyone in class 1-A: *trains as if they're gonna be in a battle royal and need to (literally) slaughter the competition* Competition: OBSTACLE RACE YAY

Well, the anime did change the training scenes a lot lol but LMAO anon they’re highschoolers what were you expecting hahahahaha it’s already savage enough as it is, I assure you lol

Anon said:Hi hello yes are you up for some angsty stuff because my brain turns even the sweetest moment to that, like what if kaminari saw bakushima's first kiss and he becomes so sad b/c he crushes on them both but he pretends not to and starts teasing 'em like a true bro while hiding his feelings and idk it's only if you want but yeah, how's your day been?

..........I would lie if I said I didn’t think about this while drawing that kiss R I P my multishipper heart is gonna kill me BUT IT’S OKAY I’m not one for unhappy endings so consider this - Denki sees them kiss, since he’s best bro and both Kirishima and Bakugou tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves he already knew this was gonna happen so he’s like, sad but resigned it hurts and he wishes he didn’t have to see it but he loves them both so much that he can’t help but being happy for how happy they are at the same time too (sure, being part of that happiness would be a dream coming true, but he’s used to never coming first he can deal with this hahahahaha r i p)

Meanwhile a bit after the kiss once Kiri is a hundred per cent sure Bakugou isn’t going to explode his head off if he mentions his very huge crush on Kaminari he does and Bakugou’s like, shit, it’s not like he’d mind it because Kaminari is, well, he’s Kaminari and Bakugou isn’t sure why but he’s comfortable to be around and easy to talk to and he’s stupidly pretty and like, yeah, okay, he might be into him too, maybe, he isn’t admitting anything here (not like he needs to, as stated already he’s pretty easy to read), but Kaminari’s also the no homo type of het so it’s not like they can do much about this threeway crush or whatever, and Kirishima’s like sure, I know, I just wanted to be open about this to avoid trouble, which is very sensible and will cut us on a lot of miscommunication angst this is getting out of hand let’s skip ahead I always forget how much fun I have writing this kind of bullshit

For however much Kaminari swore he could deal with it and how much he’s actually managing to deal with it he’s also the same brand of open book Baku and Kiri are and while it was easy to act like friends with no romantic feelings when everyone was doing the same, trying to hide from Bakugou and Kirishima while they’re openly in a relationship turns out to be more or less impossible, mostly because he can’t seem to avoid the longing stares and sad smiles and the I have to go I just remembered I have a thing to do bye’s when it becomes too much, and Kirishima might not be the brightest but he’s perfectly in tune with everyone’s feelings and Bakugou might stomp on people’s feelings more often than not but he is the brightest which means they notice and they’re like god fucking damn it - Bakugou in nature isn’t one to talk about problems until they burst out in fits of anger, but thank god he’s got Kirishima right there and they might not be 100% sure they got the reason for Kaminari’s weirdness right but they’re exasperated and they at least want their friend to stop being weird and avoiding them, they miss him (and Kaminari seriously misses them too he feels so stupid for how big of a deal he’s turning this into) SO they corner him and talk it out cause I’m a slut for open and honest communication and Kaminari straight out starts crying from happiness and relief before they’re even done talking and Kirishima starts crying right after him because sympathetic crier supreme and Bakugou’s like you know what I changed my mind fuck both of you emotional disasters I’m out

(spoiler he isn’t really)

#fran answers #SO MANY WORDS IN THIS ONE R I P #i got carried away on that last one s o r r y #instead of working on the fills gdi fran stop procrastinating #anonymous

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tinkdw · 7 years

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This may be more of a commentary on the fandom and their reactions to 12x15 and the preview for 12x19 than the show itself. When 12x15 rolled out, I saw a lot of comments that are somewhat anti-Dean-ish in that Cas doesn't owe Dean explanations or need his permission to do things/go to heaven. Now with the preview I'm see anti-Cas-ish comments because Dean is hurt/angry. I'm not saying one is right over the other, I think they're both valid in a way. It's just interesting 1/2

… how different factions view the same situation. Especially when some of those views/comments attack those who disagree with them … i think i wandered off topic. Anyway, just an interesting thing I’ve seen come up. 2/2.

Hi,

I agree with you that it is so interesting how people can see the SAME THING and come away with completely different view points. This can be said for so many things, well, actually ANYTHING. Politics, food, art, even people - I mean there can be a general consensus that Jensen Ackles is the hottest thing that ever was hot, but some people would massively disagree, I mean most straight guys would say he’s good looking, fine, but that Scarlett Johanssen or whoever is the hottest thing to ever hot, or whatever, my point being that people can derive hugely different opinions based on the SAME INFORMATION.

I find this fascinating, I studied Classics, Archaeology and Marketing because I’m fascinated by people and I think that’s in part why I love SPN - because the characters are so layered and fleshed out in comparison to most tv shows, movies, even a lot of books!

What is NOT OK is when people hate on others for having a different opinion. This idea that you’re either with us or AGAINST US and I will ATTACK you for being DIFFERENT.

Imo the people who watch this show and enjoy it’s message (which is LOVE by the way, NOT HATE, THAT IS THE WHOLE FREAKING POINT!) are the one’s who enjoy it most and seem to lead a happier, less hateful existence.

It’s a terrifying and despotic way to live your life and it makes me so sad that people can be like this. For themselves but more for the people they attack maliciously and with intent to hurt.

I think with this fandom people also stick to their favourites in a way that doesn’t happen in *ahem* less obsessive fandoms with less layered and interesting characters. People identify so much with a character and see themselves in them and so they are sometimes rabidly protective.

I won’t go into how I personally view in relation to the characters as it IS wanky, I’m sorry, against certain preferences of character just from what I have pieced together, but I’m not going there.

But I think the important thing is to try to enjoy the show based on what it GIVES US, what we see on screen and what we love to love. If the characters love each other LET THEM LOVE EACH OTHER.

If Dean decides to go to Hell for sam and tells Sam there is NOTHING he wouldn’t put before him - don’t negate this!

If Cas tells the brothers that they are his family and he loves them, while they tell him (and others btw to hammer the point home) that he is their family and they will fight FOR him - don’t negate this!

These are also not mutually exclusive btw, JFC I’m so sick of this.

I mean there was this weird Sam jealous of Cas thing going on in season 8 and how did it end? BADLY. Sam learned his lesson, that Dean wouldn’t put anyone before him, but also in later seasons learned to let go of Dean too, and never, ever questioned Dean’s profound bond or whatever with Cas again. If anything he just laughs and goes along with it now, supporting Dean specifically when he is emotional about Cas (e.g. 10x05, 11x15, 12x10, 12x17).

Yes, Cas doesn’t OWE it to Dean to tell him where he is etc. But given their situation as best friends he kinda should expect a backlash if he doesn’t.

Yes, Dean should tell Cas that he appreciates him more (and by the way so should Sam) but this isn’t a part of who Dean is yet.

Yes, Dean is hurt by Cas going away unannounced, but Dean also just stood there looking angsty and repressed and kind of angry when Cas was spilling his innermost in 12x12, while it was Sam who had to step in and say something supportive, and if that was ME dying I would have all kinds of thoughts going around my head like “OH, ok, well THANKS A BUNCH”. I think I might decide a little alone time isn’t a bad idea.

Yes, Sam is the most important person in Dean’s life, but Dean also needs to let go of the reins for himself and for Sam.

Yes, Mary is behaving in a terribly ‘bad’ way but she is struggling with LIFE.

I mean all these characters have a lot of stuff going on!!!! They are not perfect, Chuck that would be boring. So of course they sometimes do stuff that is gonna make us and the others mad, thats how drama is made. Sheesh.

I’d rather be a part of the LOVE crowd please, no matter what anyone ships, hate has no place in any of it.

#asks #wank for ts #Anonymous

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puns-and-fics-has-moved · 7 years

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"I'm not a thing you can ruin" oh how about you just stab me through the heart with a rusty screwdriver? will you be happy then?? D': seriously though keep on making me cry your writing is fantastic

i'm so sorryi'm so angsty jfcbut tHANK YOU 💜💜💜

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sixmorningsafter · 7 years

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[1/?] i'm gonna talk about steroline first bc you know i've always been here for the bamon, but you've got me really caring about steroline in this fic! caroline trying to set boundaries on intimacy was really heartbreaking--i think you mentioned in an ask before the chapter went up that she's actually more afraid of intimacy bc that's what kept her in a toxic relationship, and i could definitely see that. and then you turned it into something really sweet and funny with her and stefan

watching romance(?) stuff. it was all super cute and i’m loving these two even tho it’s not what i started reading for. stefan’s jealousy re: daroline was also interesting bc it made it clear (to me at least, idk how you intended it) that after being cheated on in his last relationship, he’s not ready for something open/casual. aside from it just not being his personality, i don’t feel like that’s something he needs to get over walking in on his ex with another guy. also think it’s interesting how you have stefan assuming the worst abt damon. obviously it’s a throwback to canon (and damon shoots him down which was nice) with its good bro/bad bro stuff, but it also makes me wonder if bonnie was taken advantage of in her bad period? bonnie obviously has a lot of negative associations with hookups–which was a REALLY nice touch, i loved the narration there–so it makes me wonder what stefan saw going on there when he was more removed from the situation.

ELANAAAAAA! You have no idea how happy I got when I saw your BAMF icon in my inbox, man. I didn’t even have to read the messages to know I’d be like giddy with joy and lo and behold, here I am, giddy with joy. Anyway, this reply is probably like three? Weeks? Late? At this point? But I’m finally diving in to some of these longer reviews and gah, I’m just like remembering how incredible they are all over again so thanks so frickin’ much for taking the time out to write this. Seriously. Means so damn much. ANYWAY, I condensed the SC parts into one half and I’ll do the same with the BD half, so onto the Steroline of it all:

I’M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT I’VE GOT YOU VESTED! (Side-note: I feel like I’m going to have to limit my caps lock abuse in this reply because if I had my way the whole thing would be in caps…) Before I started this fic I didn’t actually think through how tricky it could be to have two main ships and four main characters in a fanfic where different fandoms are coming in for different reasons. LMAO like it just totally didn’t even occur to me that it’d be any different from writing any other fic, but it totally is, and it’s weird because you sort of put equal time and effort into realizing each character and each ship but naturally have people coming in predisposed to wanting one thing more than the other. So I feel like just as an author, you almost challenge yourself to write in a way that can pull people into the things they didn’t necessarily come for, and it’s legit the best feeling ever when you hear that you’ve managed it even a little, SOOOOOOO hearing that I’ve got you lowkey rooting for SC makes me super happy. JFC I haven’t even gotten past the first line of your message and this reply’s already two paragraphs long help me.

Re: Caroline, totally on point - she’s definitely the most rattled by intimacy, man. She just doesn’t trust herself to think clearly and put herself first when she’s emotionally vested because of how her relationship with Matt played out. I’m super glad that’s leaking into the fic because I’m not sure it’s something Caroline’s outright admitted yet (that her biggest issue with Stefan isn’t actually his tendency toward falling in love but rather hers, you know?). Like I’m hoping that’s coming across, but it’s just tough when you’re writing a stubborn, self-preserving character who repeatedly claims the opposite, lololol. So super stoked that’s the impression you’re getting!

Re: Stefan’s jealousy, I think that’s a great observation and definitely within my intention. Like as fun as it was to sneak in a little jealousy, I’d argue that scene ended up being more of a characterization one than a shippy one because it gave some insight into where Stefan’s at emotionally, independent of Caroline or really anyone. We’ve heard a lot about his emotional baggage from Bonnie but I think that was the first time we got it from him, and I think you’re definitely right that like what he actually probably needs is to believe in love again. Both him and Caroline. Not storybook Elena love, not angsty chaotic Matt love, but something more natural, less learned. LMAO so naturally I have them both seeking casual hookups instead.

Re: Stefan being protective of Bonnie because of her history, I think that definitely played a role, and I feel like we Vulcan mind-melded because I absolutely think Bonnie was taken advantage of to a degree. Like willingly, she probably thought at the time, but it was messy - the people around her should’ve known better, and if they actually gave a damn, they would’ve. I think your drabble covered it perfectly, like Damon was the kind of person who, while still a ‘bad kid’, knew better than to engage, whereas dudes like Enzo and Klaus engaged anyway. I don’t think she ever really talks about it (sigh, Bonnie) but I’m sure Stefan knows. Not details, but he’d see her around town with older, sketchy dudes - picking her up from school, hanging out in parking lots, etc. - and I headcanon that Lexi would probably see her at upperclassmen parties with seedy seniors. So yeah, not to excuse Stefan from snapping at Damon or anything because I definitely think most of his motive was still a knee-jerk reaction to his own cheating baggage, but this would’ve definitely factored in, too.

LMAO @ the length of this reply I’m so sorry.

#reply #six mornings after #jfc why am I like this #attolirene

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