When you can’t show what you know, people assume you just don’t know anything.

At least that’s how it works for most autistic kids who can’t speak, or can’t control their bodies as much as they’d like to, or can’t answer things “fast enough,” and so on. Because the people who give the tests really don’t want to entertain the idea that their tests might just be garbage sometimes.

Non-speakers who have gained access to communication later in life all tell a similar story: that they experience a mind-body disconnect that makes it hard for them to control their own bodies. That means that they struggle to perform tasks on command, whether it comes from other people or their own minds, and that their bodies will just do things that the person didn’t even mean to do.

And despite the growing number of people who are able to share these stories, most of the People In ChargeTM are still operating under the assumption that if you can’t answer a question or follow an instruction correctly, it’s because you didn’t understand it.

Which means that kids who can’t show what they know because their bodies won’t cooperate are assumed to just not know anything.

Which means they never get to move to the next level of education.

Which means there are millions of children who languish in educational settings that are not academically challenging enough for them- because the problem they have with their bodies is assumed to be a problem with their mind.

But the inaccessibility of assessments is the problem here. As well as the assumptions people make about those who are thought of as “low functioning.” As well as the fact that the majority of autistic kids who can’t speak are still not given alternative means of communication soon enough, if at all.

We can do better. Presume competence. Treat communication like a basic human NEED and a RIGHT, not an optional privilege to be earned. And believe the people who keep telling us as soon as they can, “It’s our bodies, not our minds!”

NOTE: I’ve been wanting to do something on this for a while, and this particular cartoon came together a couple weeks ago while I was listening to “Ido in Autismland” by Ido Kidar. Please do check it out, along with the work of other non-speakers, to learn more about this experience from the people who actually live it. 

https://www.amazon.com/Ido-Autismland-Climbing-Autisms-Silent/dp/0988324709

https://www.amazon.com/Autistic-Boy-Unruly-Body-Autism/dp/B0B7XF3CVT

https://neuroclastic.com/directory-of-nonspeaker-pages-blogs-media/

So what was Ceb like when he was a teen? Did he have any friends or family he grew up around?

Ceb was an Entirely different person now than from his younger years. His father kept him and Kidar mostly separated from other whelps when they were young, and actually didn’t end up interacting acting with other Gumm Gumm children when they were preteens.

Now, I will say, Ceb did TRY to make friends, he did. However he had no clue on how to do so, and quickly learned that the other kids didn’t exactly like his attempts at friendship. He was too serious when joking, too angry when being playfully prodded at, too rough when playing, and scarily aggressive during training. Both Troll and Changeling kids did their best to interact with him as little as possible, due to his standoffish and angry nature.

In turn Ceb kept away from them, if they didn’t want to be near him then fine. He didn’t see anything wrong with his behavior, and nor did his father, besides that he figured all that mattered was how he performed the battlefield, and how much he could serve his tribe. He was definitely a one track minded individual for a lot of his youth and young adulthood.

in the following days, Kidar and Alistair would meet often to go on dates. for the first time in his life, Alistair had someone he could call his true love, and he couldn´t be happier. however, he got worried as Kidar began to feel fatigued and nauseous more often. the brit told Kidar to stay at home for a bit, since he thought he might caught a cold or something that he should better sleep off or cure with the help of his brother. but, whatever he had, Alistair hoped he will recover soon.

Kidar groaned, that morning was spent entirely in the bathroom. Just like the past several mornings before this one.

"Ugh..." He groaned, and turned to find Ceb right beside him with a glass of water and a nausea pill.

"Take this." He said as he gently patted his little brother's back.

"It'll help." The shorter brunette smiled as Kidar did as he was told.

"Thanks Cebby..." The pretty eyed brunette smiled weakly over at his big brother, only to see that the older man had a pregnancy test??

"I want you to take this test."

"Wh-What...?" Kidar laughed a small bit at the absurdity of that statement. Surely Cebby was just joking!

... But the look on his face was so serious...

"Yo-... You're not kidding, are you?" The smile on the barista's freckled face slowly fell.

"Um... Ceb, I'm a guy-"

"Just take the test." Ceb cut off his pretty sibling.

"For me. Please, Kida."

".... Alright..." Kidar took the test.

---

Kidar hugged himself as he sat trembling on the tub rim.

The test was positive. As well as the several others he'd also taken when he saw the very first result.

How was this POSSIBLE?!?!? He cried with his head tucked in his knees, poor boy didn't even notice his brother come into the room. Ceb had grabbed the very first test, put it in a baggy, and left.

fawks - 62, 64, 52, 40, 15 | kass - 8, 16, 36, 42, 66 "rainy that's ten questions" "yes :)"

putting these behind a read more to spare people who are not interested in all of this because whoops it got long! 

FAWKS

62. Who does your character think is the most put together in the party?

THIS DEPENDS ON THE PARTY. of the main party, it’s definitely pierce. like sure he has some anxiety but he has not put goo in his mouth unprompted. so that pulls him ahead of fyn, who would be the second choice. of the surface party...probably valytra! like sure she collects souls in her necklace but she seems Polite and like she was a Pleasure to Have in Class, plus you have to have your shit together to be a spy (theoretically). kidar is...put together in that she’s extremely confident in who she is and assured of her own place in the world, but not the typical standard for “put together,” and fyn has put goo in her mouth, so. valytra wins. 

64. What is one thing they want each party member to know?

I’m going to do main party, and out of character! 

pierce: you’re so much braver and more heroic than you give yourself credit for. you deserve your place here just as much as anyone, and have personally inspired me to be a better person. but stop side eying me about scully I am WORKING on having a realization about this!! I’ll get there maybe!

jolene: we both put up such aggressive fronts to hide our vulnerabilities, but I’m discovering it is actually helpful to let people in and care for them, even if it makes you feel exposed. I hope you’re also coming to that realization and maybe one day (IN THE VERY DISTANT FUTURE) we’ll be more honest in our own friendship but for now lmao what is going on with blacksmith girl huh. I would like an update.

fyn: you’re the most optimistic and good-hearted person I know, and I hope you can see what an effect you have on the party. I’m very glad I’ve had you at my side for pursuing the black dragon wyrmspeaker, because I don’t know how I would’ve done it alone. also please stop putting goo in your mouth, we have enough money for quiche and lavender lemonade PLEASE. 

52. If your character was under quarantine, what type of quarantine person would they be? (Productive? Hobbyist? Lazy?)

oh my god fawks in quarantine is off the rails immediately, she cannot be left unsupervised. I think she starts her own youtube channel that people LEGITIMATELY think is supposed to be like a ~found footage narrative fiction channel or other creative project but...it’s never been stated to be and she just keeps appearing in videos to talk very urgently about cryptids and show everyone how she’s converted her kitchen to include a PROPER, homemade fumigation hood. so it’s very unclear. on that note, the vlog probably comes to an end bc she either 1) blows up her kitchen with her own experiments because it is NOT a lab, or 2) breaks into someplace she shouldn’t be and isn’t caught but then uploads the footage to ye olde youtube and it’s like...okay so this is you running around fantasy area 51 right? knock it off. 

40. Describe a corruption/redemption arc version of your character.

OKAY corruption arc fawks...like we all know fawks is very, very motivated by ~discovery and has a black and white way of thinking, she’s always poised on a precipice of discovering one powerful magic artifact that makes her risk it all LOL. she’s doing some character development in that area but I think there some very clear seeds of a corruption arc there--her connection to people (such as the party) is what keeps her on the...generally okay if not exactly the Right Path, so I think something awful befalling the party/people she loves where they are all killed would push her firmly into the dark side. I can see her getting lost in pursuing a way to “undo” whatever happened with time travel magic (wow like a certain tower we encountered) instead of reconciling it, and being willing to do whatever it takes to get her way. would prioritize herself and her mission above everything and everyone else, even if it threatens to rip the universe apart or results in killing people because she knows once she discovers this magic it will set things right, not just for her but its uses for the world at large...yeah it’d be bad. :/

REDEMPTION ARC is kind of what she’s on now. she’s discovering she has worth outside of what she produces for science/magic/etc! she’s figuring out she can open up to people and ask for help sometimes! she’s putting things right for her family! things are slowly coming up fawks...maybe.

15. Describe their ideal date. 

OH BOY. fawks is not really uh...into traditional expressions of romance. like she’ll make an effort for the right person but her preference is never going to be a fancy dinner and candlelight. honestly I think the ideal date would start off in the late evening (AFTER A LONG DAY OF SCIENCE), going to a museum of curiosities or for cryptids/the arcane, where she’s allowed to really go in deep with her date on the history of various items/the theories behind everything and listen eagerly to what her date has to say too (in any world where fawks is dating, that person has to have Opinions on this type of thing). they’d stay until close and then head to a food truck to grab something to go while fawks leads the date to a rooftop of an abandoned building she likely discovered cryptid hunting but realized has an amazing view. they’d sit out under the stars and eat together, chatting inevitably about how fawks found the building, maybe do some exploring of it together. and then they head to a 24 hour diner for milkshakes as dessert! 

KASS

8. What is something they cannot resist?

OOOH this is fun because there are a lot of ways to interpret the question. I think kass can never resist a bustling marketplace in whatever city he ends up in--he loves travel and finding out about the local culture, is always curious to see what’s for sale and what the gossip is about town from the merchants he meets there. he spent a lot of time in marketplaces growing up so they’re nostalgic for him--he also loves purchasing trinkets from them anytime he lands somewhere new, particularly if those trinkets are fancy scarves/boots/etc. foodwise, he’s a sucker for baklava and good red wine--he enjoys wine shops/bars over taverns because he’s bougie lmao. oh and if dancing is happening and he’s not the one playing the music, kass is involving himself as is his right as a bard. he can’t resist a good opportunity dance when he has the chance!

16. What keeps them going?

OH BOY a good question. I think kass is a realist in a lot of ways, but has held onto some amount of idealism. he keeps moving forward with the idea that he’s in a losing situation right now, but he’s patient enough to watch and see what way the winds will blow. he justifies his work with the understanding that he has a certain moral code for his behavior when he can make choices, versus when his hands are tied by the zhents. always is keeping one eye out for an opportunity to slip out of those binds completely. 

36. What makes them blush?

HMMMM I don’t think kass gets too worked up over flirting--sometimes it’s literally just part of his job, and in general he’s just confident in himself. and listen he’s been in plenty of seedy taverns and courts rifled with intrigue, so not a lot makes kass bat an eyelash at this point. the things that would make him blush would probably be genuine romantic gestures? he doesn’t have a lot of experience with them so someone doing something very sweet and thoughtful for him would catch him completely off guard. like even getting flowers from the right person, kass is just not used to that type of attention! 

42. Is there something your character isn’t very good at, but enjoys doing nonetheless?

kass would LOVE crossword puzzles I think. he’s been doing them since he was a kid and could filch a newspaper every once in a while, but he’s not super good at them. just enjoys having something to sit back and focus on while drinking his coffee in the mornings. I also don’t think he’s very good at cooking, but he enjoys trying out new recipes!

66. Outward Passion or Quiet Rebellion?

this is hard because I think kass feels pulled between the two very frequently. I think he’d much prefer outward passion, throwing himself heart first into a cause, but he definitely is more likely to commit quiet rebellion and does so frequently. like what the zhents don’t know won’t hurt...him. again, where he has the ability to, kass follows his own heart so he’s willing to work quietly to do some good. but he’d much prefer to be bolder, in the grand scheme of things. 

"I can't point to the exact moment when I fell in love with Geeta. I guess it was a small incident involving a tiger that did it. I had been pining away for a tiger that had given me the slip. Geeta kept patting my knee and saying, 'Don't worry Shammi, you'll find him.' One night, we were returning to our hotel after dinner. Geeta was in a jeep ahead. As I turned the corner, I saw her jeep parked midway on a bridge and she was on the bonnet doing a strange sort of jig. I ran to her in panic. 'It's that tiger, Shammi, your tiger. It just went this way. Get your gun,' she was yelling out. I was speechless. There was a wild tiger on the prowl in the vicinity and this woman was doing a jig on the bonnet of her jeep in celebration. She just wasn't scared. So how could I help it? I fell in love with her. Madly. I still remember the day. It was April 2, 1955. "It was destined," Shammi had reflected. "Or else, why did Geeta force herself into Rangeen Raaten when there was no suitable role for her in the original script of the film?"... Shammi and Geeta had fallen madly in love with each other... "There were a few question marks, though," Shammi had reflected. "Geeta was a year older to me. She had co-starred with my father Prithviraj Kapoor in a film called Anand Math (1952). She had also worked opposite my brother Raj Kapoor in Kidar Sharma's film Bawre Nain (1950). I was not sure how my family would react to it. But the apprehensions were momentary. I was adamant within myself that it had to be Geeta. She was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. But, ironically, the hurdle was Geeta herself. A pragmatic, down-to-earth woman, she kept cautioning me, 'Shammi, I love you. I can't think of living without you, but I just can't marry you. I can't let my family down. They depend on me. They have nowhere else to go to.' "...Thankfully, that didn't separate us... My passion had grown to a point of insanity. In spite of her resistance, I kept proposing to her once every few hours like a smitten teenager. And she kept turning me down with her lovely smile. "Four months of agony, tears, cajoling, pleading, separation and desperation followed. Then one day, the inevitable happened, just out of the blue. On August 23, 1955, we were at Juhu Hotel, Bombay... I had been staying there as there was no one at home. My parents were out in Bhopal with the Prithvi Theatres troupe. I proposed to Geeta again, knowing she'd shake her head once more and smile. But she didn't. Instead, she knocked me out of my wits. She said, "OK Shammi, let's get married. But it's got to be now..." "You mean right now? This moment?" I asked her in disbelief. "Yes, just now... or it may never happen." she said in a no-nonsense tone. "I jumped up and said, 'OK, just now... done.'" "We drove straight to our common friend, Johnny Walker (the late comedian) for guidance. He had eloped with his girlfriend (actress Noor) and got married barely a week earlier... 'We are Muslims,' he said. 'We just had to find a Kazi. You are Hindus, you may have to go to a temple and get married.' That made sense. We drove to Bandra to my friend, Hari Valia, producer of Coffee House in which Geeta and I were working at that point. "Hari had had a similar experience. He took us to the famous Banganga Temples off Napean Sea Road, in South Bombay... When we reached the temple at the crack of dawn, Geeta in her by-now crumpled salwar-kameez and I in my kurta-pajama, it was pouring cats and dogs. With Hari Valia as the sole witness, the pujari (priest) performed the ceremonial rites and we took seven pheras (rounds) of the holy fire and were declared husband and wife. Geeta took out a lipstick from her purse and asked me to apply it on her maang (parting of the hair) like sindoor (vermilion) to proclaim our marital status. "Geeta and I were married at last.” An extract from Rauf Ahmed’s book “Shammi Kapoor: The Game Changer” In this photo, Shammi Kapoor and Geeta Bali with their kids.