#this is a longterm project that i have mapped out so if you come at me with the 'you should do __' i'll be bugged. don't test me. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cassanovasanchor · 1 year

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♛|| The Empire of Aublion ||♛

"Greetings, and welcome to the world of Aublion: a superearth type planet located in the Milky Way galaxy, about halfway through the Carina-Sagittarius arm.Its a relatively advanced space-age world inhabited by the large beings known as Sadrids, and their much smaller planetary predecessors, Gackles. Come join me as I flesh their universe out further and explore whats waiting for us, both cosmic and terrestrial!"

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|| Project Name ||

The Empire of Aublion

|| Main Premise ||

Aublion is currently being built to continue a project i started when i took what is now Aublion, from my fleshed-out-past-anything-canon, AU Homestuck based planet of Beforus. I developed a rich and complex history based on some characters i rped from that AU and the planet around them, and I wanted to do more with that setting, without being restrained by a fandoms canon. This project has technically been in process since 2016, but i began major revamping and started getting serious worldbuilding and original species information and content out in 2019.

My longterm goal is to have this be an open ended project, where people can create their own Sadrids, and plot out a story with them! (And make a webcomic with my fiancé in the setting as well!)

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|| Image Info || The map shown below is of the entire planet of Aublion, created in Inkarnate. An interactible version, with labels is available in 4k on Aublions WorldAnvil.

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|| Sadrid Visuals ||

What is a Sadrid?

A Sadrid is an incredibly tall carnivorous humanoid (10'5"-16'7"), possessing venom, digitigrade legs, paws, horns, long claws and a tail. They can switch from a bipedal stance to a quadrupedal stance at will, due to their longer arms, and rear connected skull positioning.

The three subspecies outside a "standard" Sadrid ( called a Lijdroa) are called Yalvit (winged avianesque Sadrids), Edu (Amphibious water dwelling Sadrids with gills), and Hroven (Subterranean Edu and Lijdroa that have evolved to live entirely under the ground) Below are example refsheets of each species. Please click for full detail and to read the flavortext!

Lijdroa

Edu

Yalvit

Hroven

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|| Other Info ||

Aublion currently has nearly a small books worth of information about it. I have information on culture, society and how they act, foods ,examples of music that sounds similar to what they listen to, information on technology they use, an in progress language called Tábufuian that has its own script, font ive made, translator, and dictionary with nearly 4k words, information about the species themselves, and how they evolved, their two main religions, and much more! Feel free to ask about the world or Sadrids in the reblogs, comments, or, check out how to join the server below!

Thank you for reading so far, and if you're interested in knowing more about Sadrids and Aublion when this is all done, i have a dedicated discord server where i post information not yet released to the WorldAnvil, artwork, WIPs, and more with a small community i have gathered. (we also have rp spaces if you'd like to join with your created Sadrid, as well as areas you can share your own worldbuilding!!) If you would like the link to join, just send me a DM on here! If you're over 18, ill give you the link (Not really for nsfw, its mainly due to everyone being in their early-mid twenties and up, and we would much prefer to keep it to a similarly aged crowd for our hangout space!)

#worldbuilding #original species #closed species #oc art #aublion

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softer-ua · 3 years

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in regards to what you pointed out a few posts ago, ngl one of my least favorite fandom things is when they make Kaminari the Har Har Stupid Joking ADHD Bi Playboy Who Is Never Serious Trope. like, he's very smart, 'worst in ___ area of a UA course' is very impressive and I don't remember if it even said that or just that he was studying with some other students, worried about his grades overall, calls himself stupid with implied insecurities about it, and didn't think he was very smart compared to the other people in the course. quirk overuse makes him loopy, incoherent, and think everything's funny. and yeah, he's a bit of a flirt and made a few perverted comments and actions that he clearly didn't think through that well. I'm pretty sure he's not ever stated to be bi in the manga because it was written by a coward, so I think people should think more about why they're associating and pairing together the idea of "hot flirty playboy who if legally able would sleep with everyone he meets" with emphasis or joke in the captions of whatever the content is on him being bi. I don't think this is inherently bad, even put together, but the execution feels kind of :/ and shallow. and I mainly just wish they'd pause to consider if there's any reason (subconscious or intentional) why one of those makes them think about the other, and at the very least lean back to see if they're blatantly making those traits centric around each other and tweak how they're showing them a little. Part of this is also because it's basically his fanon sexuality, but then they stick together "oh he's bi and everyone thinks that" and "he's made flirty or perverted comments and actions in canon at some point" and then mentally exaggerate and have this Canon Image of him as *waves hand at above* and I don't think that's happening consciously in most cases but. again. Cookiecutter Bi Party Playboy Who's Made a Date Offer to Everyone In The Building. not a flirty Person or a Playboy who is bi and flirts with more than one genders

I myself headcanon him as adhd and while the exact sexuality depends on my mood I think of/have him as bi in a lot of my content, but it's the same thing with why non adhd people see how he acts and label "adhd!" Especially about comprehension speed and derpy acting and intelligence and attention span jokes/tropes. Again, not bad in and of itself, but the specific parts of his behavior that make them think he's adhd, or that they start making jokes about or Ha Ha ADHD'ing, or that they think is why we project ADHD on him, (which they aren't necessarily wrong about, but like right in a really disrespectful look at how funny this is oh look squirrel way that's only funny when adhd people are doing it and it isn't all mocking like that) when they see other people calling him adhd, are the wrong ones, I think, and it shows in their characterization of him.

I'm not saying that any of those traits are bad in a character, but as a queer adhd girl with very high annual test scores and Gifted Kid Intelligence but extremely poor grades, focus, and brain damage (admittedly nothing like his, it was a longterm passive thing that mainly just made me have a Lot of Really Bad headaches, and closest thing it did to me was make me sluggish and emotional on bad days and also techincally have the potential kill my language bit if left untreated or the surgery messed up, which it didn't, and it won't be a problem again. but even after explaining that it wasn't cancer or any sort of tumor, and after seeing it do very little at all to affect my behavior outside of irritability and performance, because y'know, constant migraines, gone after the surgery but this was before that, Certain People I Was Vaguely Kind Of Acquaintances With started to treat my like I was a fragile glass thing going to to drop dead and revive myself speaking like a comic relief cartoon crazy person at any moment which was. patronizing.) I've since had surgery for, the way the fandom combines them into stereotypes and portrays them really just rubs me the wrong way- "Flirty Bi(tm) Playboy" "Har Har ADHD Can't Focus Or Get Things After They're Explained To Him, He's Still Confused And An Idiot" "Stupid Person With Brain Damage Who Can't Take Care Of Or Think For Themself And Acts Stupid And Funny For People To Laugh At" which tbh is super ableist even and especially when people irl do fit that description, and also reminds me of the Autistic Person Freaking Out And Being Dramatic sense of humor. And I know it's not helped by canon, because it done for comic relief and to limit his powers, but explored more I think it as a limitation could have been used way more interestingly than canon did and also call me biased but that quirk induced brain frying sounds at least as concerning as Izuku's quirk's backlash.

And it's a shame!! Because he's so much more interesting than that! Instead, the fandom gives me the Cookicutter Funny Bi ADHD Flirt Who's An Idiot and I am sad about it.

tbh it reminds me of what happened to percy jackson, esp with the ADHD Idiot Trope thing. which sucks because apparently it originated in the author making up stories around characters like his adhd and dyslexic kid inspired by Greek myths to tell him after running out of actual myths because it was his special interest and he wanted more. and then the series got kind of all over the place and the fandom processed that the adhd and dyslexic main character who does dumb things sometimes but is very combat smart and great at strategizing and leading gets bad grades and has trouble focusing and has, y'know, adhd, and made him the ADHD Idiot and erased his Gifted Kid girl friend's traits and ADHD and dyslexia into No Nonsense Calls Him an Idiot And Thinks He's Stupid And Has To Tell Him What To Do And Manage His Life For Him and honestly that just kind of sucks and it reminds me of what happened to fandom Kaminari. and now that I think of it people have jirou like that around him a lot too.

im fine with you answering this publicly if you want or have something to add but probably tag as ableism and maybe a biphobia mention content warning for people who don't have the energy to deal with thinking about those kinds of negative things rn because I kind of Went Off About It

I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences 💚(and double thank you for tag suggestions)💚

I couldn’t agree more that a lot of fandom has messed up Kami’s character, which is why I’ve kinda been posting more about him cause he’s just stuck in my head.

I think a lot of fandoms have trouble with characters like this, people have a hard time with duality in characters and fast/fun posts are easier to make if you flatten a character down.

The did it to Kami, they did it to Percy, they did it to Ron Weasley, they do it to Thor, the list goes on. If being the Smart One ™️ isn’t your thing and you can be goofy than you get pigeonholed into the idiot trope.

I feel for Kami a lot(probably because I have adhd/brain damage too)

It sucks when you’re smart but it’s not the traditional, measurable kind of smart(even if by national comparison Kami technically is).

I got terrible grades growing up, and I pretty much got the absolute lowest gpa you can get and still graduate. But absolutely no one would have known if I didn’t tell them, because I’m not dumb.

(It’s okay if you are “dumb”, I love me a head empty just vibes friend. You’re 100% valid, stil worthy of joining discussions, and should be listened to and taken seriously. This just isn’t about that tho)

I joke sometimes that I’m clever and witty but not smart, because that’s exactly what it feels like.

I have lots of thoughts and ideas that I think I articulate pretty well, I am excellent at finding the humor in things and expressing it in a way that’s funny to others too, and there is almost zero problems I can’t find a work around. And the people in my life love it, and they love to use it.

But eventually everyone in my life finds out that I’m not smart. They see the way I have to pause to Google how to calculate a tip, that I don’t know the name of all 50 states or even where to find them on a map, or I legitimately just can not spell (if you ever see a post where it looks like I used a weird word choice it’s probably because I tried 4 times and autocorrect+Google couldn’t help me and voice to text wasn’t an option)

No one ever questions my intelligence until they find out about my adhd and/or catch me struggling with it. After the mask comes off it’s like they can’t even hear me anymore, nothing I say could be true or matter because I’m now just the goofy accident prone spacy girl. My family literally calls me Spacy

And ya know what sometimes I just let people think that because it’s easier, it’s easier than explaining that I’m dyslexic and that I didn’t have a single geography/history clas until 10th grade and shocker the capital of Iowa doesn’t come up much by then. And it’s easier for me to laugh off losing my keys again than dwell on the fact that sometimes it feels like I’m losing my marbles.

And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if after this post I get a lot more “fact checkers” and push back on anything else I post.(not talking about people who want to genuinely engage,y’all are always welcome, I’m talking those people who don’t wanna look it up themselves but no longer trust me to know what I’m talking about)

Kami is a sweet brilliant boy. He’s in a nationally high ranking school, he loves the weather channel, he’s careful about his quirk that could easily hurt his friends in combat, he has a very high emotional intelligence level, he wears dorky shirts with electricity puns on them, and he pays attention to his friends and remembers a lot of little things about them.

He wants to be a hero and he takes that seriously, and the series has tried time and time again to tell y’all that smiling and laughter are an important part of that. Kami excels at this part! So what if his history grades don’t rival the top of the class, the top 5 students would struggle hard to do what Kami does.

Iida can’t relax, Momos rather shy, Todo struggles with social cues, Midoriya is canonically not funny, and jfc where to even begin with Katsuki. I’m certain they’ll all grow up to be excellent heros in their own right, but none of them are going to bring the level of joy and camaraderie that Denki can. You can’t test that into someone.

Kami also just notices people differently and has any easy way of joining in with them, he doesn’t struggle approaching Katsuki or Shinso. Sure he doesn’t hit the the nail on the head the same way Deku does but he’s the only one who has the guts and skills to try. Also he’s not that kinda friend, he’s not looking to a save these guys but pal around with them

I think Kami 100% realizes what a special case and tough nut to crack Bakugo is, I don’t think he’s just careless or too dumb realize his life’s at stake or whatever.

I think he’s purposely testing Bakugos boundaries all while trying to not be a threat to Katsukis actual ego and calling Bakugo out when he needs it in a way that not to serious. Kami knows how to be just goofy enough that he’s approachable. He’s also keyed in that the way to Bakugo is through Deku, meanwhile everyone else is stuck believing the opposite.

Kami also realized how important music is to Jiro and saw an opportunity to let her display her skills and combin the two worlds she lives, and he wasn’t afraid to get some back lash from her for it.

Like Deku Kami isn’t afraid to be uncomfortable. You really can’t teach that level of social ease, you can teach the posture and feed people a couple of lines but it’ll never hit the same. Funny approachable people have spent a lifetime learning the craft, usually out of necessity.

It’s actually what gives me the biggest adhd vibes from him, because adhd is (speculated to be) a dopamine deficiency disorder. People with adhd are constantly trying to raise their dopamine levels, and that means looking for praise and reward and nothing makes the human brain light up faster than postative human connections.

Adhd children struggle a lot with connecting with peers and often find making people laugh a fast way into people’s circles and makes it more likely people will overlook being interrupted or spaced out on.

Also adhd people are pretty much forced by their own brain structures to be genuine in all they do, low dopamine levels make it very hard to do things you don’t enjoy because there no promise of dopamine from the activity and you don’t have enough to spare, plus impulsiveness makes it really hard to not show when you do or don’t enjoy something.

I agree that Kami is also painted as overly perverted at times, he’s a little flirty but in a fun casual way but it’s not the foundation of his personality and it’s really mellowed out over the course of the series.

And while I subscribe to the bi hc from his interactions with Jiro and Shinso, we should all be very mindful that we don’t lump these characteristics together. The are separate facets of his personality that are not dependent on each other in anyway.

Kami deserves all the respect and love, I can’t wait to see our electric king again 🖤⚡️🖤

#tw ableism #ableism #tw biphobia #biphobia #softy answers #I have a sorta sad one shot about Kami and his quirks effects #should i post it?

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kiwibes · 4 years

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So, you cant live the "cottagecore life"?

I am here to tell you that you can!

Wether you're poor, living in the city with no garden or terras, living abroad, have a disability, are poc or still living with your birthgivers, cottagecore is also there for you.

IMO cottagecore (and the like) is about appreciating the smile things in life. Nursing a plant, watching the sun carress the surface, enjoying rain drops falling down, finding fun and love in small acts like cooking, baking, sewing, knitting, gardening, painting,etc. U dont need grand architecture, expensive technology or 'cheap thrills' if you seek small thrills in the simple things. U dont have to like ALL things (I hate crocheting but I like seeing others enjoy it), but I think nearly everyone has a little bit of cottagecore in them. (If smn disagrees with my view, that sounds like a them problem)

So, having lived in cities, suburbs and only very briefly the countryside. Having had a nice income and no income at all and spending a lot of time on how to find these small joys, I will share some tips on how to incorporate some cottagecore into your life

No garden? Not even a terras? Windowsills are your best friend. They are great place for some plants, herbs and regrowths. Some plants dont even need direct light and can stand on your table/desk/shelf

Don't have money for plants? The world is out there! Even the grayest most concrete city I've lived in had some uncontrolled shrubs or weeds growing. Weeds are just as much awesome plants and calling them weeds feels like discrimination? I prefer wildlings. Anyway, you have to be a little more carefull if you go scavenging plants because of private property and hygiene but it is a good excuse for an adventure and remember to bring gloves and take enough surrounding soil to ease the transition of your scavenged treasures. Daisies and dandelions in grassy patches are easy, pretty starters. Love them.

Now you got the plants but not the money or availability of pots? Fear not, almost everything can be a pot. Soda bottles, milk cartons, jugs, chipped mugs, food trays, cardboard packages if lined with some plastic/alu foil,...you might want to put some holes in the bottom to let the water run trough. Put a plate or tray under it. If you need the 'pot' to be raised I found that bottle caps and empty tea lights can do the trick often.

You did get your gruby hands on some store bought plants? Cool, maybe they come in a brown/black plastic pot? You can paint it and reuse. I do recommend to put the plant from that pot in a bigger recipient cuz store plants are usually put in just-big enough pots with lots of fertilizer to keep them looking fresh for sales but they cant survive them longterm. The pots can still be used for smaller plants though. Some plantshops also have a recycle bin for these pots. You can sneak some of them with you. They won't really care

For all the above plant holders, u might think 'it will look ugly, all that plastic and non-unity. If that bothers u, u can paint them, glue them with nice colours or newspaper, make a fun craft project from it. Newspaper, glue and acrylics can hold for quiet some time!

Name tags can be crafted out of popsicle sticks, branches, writing on cobbles, etc.

Regrowths. Propagate some plants, herbs, vegetable. Cheap and fun. Internet is full of tutorials on how to propagate.

Idigenous climate and plants are your best friends. Research the practices of your ancestors/the native settlers. Learn from their lessons and mistakes. You might want to check google books and archive.org for reading/loaning old books about your region.

Sos sewing kits can be your hero if you dont have a sewing shop nearby. All u really need is needle, thread and scissors and you can get started on small projects. Dont aim for a ball gown from scratch though but you can refurbish old/ugly/cheap clothes with a small travelling sos sewing kit.

No fabrics? Use old clothes, blankets, tabletops, curtains or some scarfs. I've found no place yet where I can't buy some scarfs. They are basicly long, rectangular fabrics that can be used for some sewing projects like plushies, head band, tops, pillow covers, etc.

No kitchen? No bake recipes, microwave recipes, what to make in a water kettle etc. Many before you have suffered the lack of a kitchen, including yours truly!

Wall decoration. Print old photos, press leaves or flowers or herbs, calligraph, paint, draw, etc.

No money to buy fancy frames? Not allowed to drill in the wall? Tape and sticky hooks can hold some light weight deco. Tape some paper clips to the wall to hold photos, maps, botanical drawings,...

Laminators are too expensive for my liking. For smaller things you can use tape. Stick it on, fold the tape double, cut. You just laminate a flower. Cut it out, make a frame from leftover paper or cardboard or not, hang it. For the larger things you can us stronger plastic from folder splitters, packing, those slide in things u have to put your front page/homework into. Squash it in between 2 layers and tape/glue/staple/paperclip it together.

No signing voice? Just talk to your plants! The CO2 will do them good.

You dont have to spent money on a plant water diffuser thing. Any mechanical spray thing will work like parfume bottles, sunscreen spray bottles, etc. Make sure they are clean inside before using.

Dont feel bad about plastic flowers

Dont feel bad, ashamed or like you have a short coming for not achieving the ultimate cottagecore aestethic cuz 1. It is an aestethic no one has it. It is meant for inspiration, relaxation and feel good vibes 2. Everybody has as much right to relate to any -core as any other next person. 3. If you enjoy it, it has fulfilled its purpose. Enjoy!

If I think of sth else I will add it. If anyone else has an idea please reblog it with an addition.

Dont hesitate to ask any questions!

#cottagecore #forestcore #garden #gardencore #nature #naturecore #flowercore #forest #cryptidcore #elfcore #everybody welcome #witch tips #tips #life hacks #crafts #craftnotcrap #plants

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carry-on-my-wayward-butt · 4 years

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hi i remember you answered an ask about your longterm relationship and it really spoke to me and i was just wondering, what did you do when the intense passion sort of died off to keep the relationship feeling alive? not as in the love went away but it just starts feeling sort of, mundane and especially when ur going through tough times it can be hard

the main thing is that “feeling alive” part. there’s some people for whom “feeling alive” means that they go skydiving and motorcycle racing for the adrenaline and there’s some people for whom it means watching sports games in person for the endorphins from being in a hyped up crowd and some for who it means that you finally finished that craft project after many months of hard work.

the “feeling alive” part is just another compatibility point. if you prefer relationships where you’re always on the edge of your seat from excitement or constantly bubbly in your stomach and your partner’s preference is relaxation and comfort and warmth, that’s a bit of an incompatibility! not quite a dealbreaker incompatibility, but something to work on together. because preferences and desires change a bit here and there all the time!

it mainly comes down to “when and how often are you getting your fix”. for davyn the fix is whenever im doing something ‘cool’ like journaling or dying my hair or playing piano or teaching him cool recipes. something that makes him feel like “damn thats so cool im so glad i have a vicky who can do anything” for me its whenever im being taken care of or when he’s working hard on something he’s passionate about like dnd maps. it makes me think “hot damn im so glad i have someone who works hard on his interests and always makes time to take care of me”

identify your “fix”, whatever your partner does that makes you get the butterflies, and then identify why that’s your fix and if you’re getting it often enough and if not how you can encourage it. (and reciprocate, obviously!)

a lot of what people think is the “spark” in a relationship is just that initial “i don’t know anything about this person or what they’re thinking so whenever i figure something out, it’s new and exciting for me” you are a rat pressing the right buttons for cheese. once you learn all the cheese button combos, is the cheese any less good? no! it’s still great cheese! you’re just bored because there’s no challenge! nothing to overcome or figure out!

a big part of relationship maturity is doing the introspective work to find out if what you want is to work towards overcoming a challenge, or to put in work for long-term commitment with a human being, because you can’t really have both without hurting someone

im a lil tipsy i hope i didnt get tangential lmao but i dont know if i have any more 2 say abt it

#im literally just talking i only know abt my own relationship and my opinions and ideals reflect that #Anonymous

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bexical · 4 years

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Mid-April 2020 life update

Fuck.

Let's start with the current career situation.

Software

For those of you who don't know, I'm your generic bay area techie. Except I'm four years out of college and I'm still an entry-level engineer at this place, with no sign of being promoted.

This past weekend, I tried to join some friends in doing Ludum Dare, a game jam (code up a game in a weekend). And that went about as well as I could have expected - I tried to compile the game, ran into an error, found exactly two results when I googled the error (neither of which were any help), and gave up.

I don't know why I'm in tech. I'm inept at this - sure, maybe I'm better at algorithms or something than the average kid out there (and that's a tough maybe), but when it actually comes to coding? Just like, being an adult and being able to make something without crying to someone else for help?

Fuck, I suck.

I have put in so much time and effort into my work this past half year, and my most recent assessment can still be best summarized as "well done, you've met the expectations for your level (which, keep in mind, is entry-level)". But what if I worked at a rate I could actually sustain? The best I could say is that I wouldn't be fired outright (which I admit is a miracle in the current economic situation).

I don't even particularly like tech. I mean sure, I like working with software when it works - but who doesn't like shit they're good at?

Fuck.

...

So what do I want to do?

Game design

I've mentioned it before, but to reiterate - I'd like to get in the game design industry.

I love the idea of just creating a fun experience for people. I like working with feedback and iterating on a design to create something.

When I let my hubris come out, I even think I'd be half-decent at it. I have a good understanding of what makes a game experience frustrating, and I sometimes have good ideas on how to improve those experiences.

So... let's do it, right? I love it, and maybe I'm good at it. What can go wrong?

Except I can't actually make a video game, since I can't code (see above). And I don't particularly love board games, so I wouldn't make a board game.

Not to mention, everyone (but most certainly not everyone and their mother, because mothers hate video games. or at least mine does.) wants to get in the game industry, because everyone who plays a game has an opinion on how to improve it. So the competition is rough, and I'm not even good at games (because that would be asking far too much), so... mlep.

And at the end of the day, I don't even like gaming as much as the industry would like of me. I don't "live and breathe" games - and I don't want to, because there's such a low likelihood of this career choice working out - which leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of disaster, but well, that's where I'm at.

Maybe there's a future here. But let's move on for now - what else could I consider?

Law

I've thought about going into law. Ace the LSAT, go to a good school despite my undergrad GPA - fight for a cause I believe in, and if I'm good enough, make an actual impact.

Pros: As mentioned, making an actual impact. I actually like law, as opposed to tech. As always, because my hubris knows no bounds, I think I'd be good at it.

Cons: I'd have to be good and put in effort to make a large impact. I only like looking into legal stuff in small doses, much like how I would like tech if I experienced it in small doses. And of course I think I'd be good at it - I thought I'd be good at tech, and look at me now.

jk. the real con is that I'd have to make a choice with my life instead of just cruising along as an entry-level engineer.

and if that were the only reason, I'd have the self-respect to tell myself that such a reason is unacceptable, except! I have a valid excuse!

Writing

It... seems unlikely that I can also study for the LSAT and for law school and be a lawyer while writing a book. I mean - it's already hard for me as a fucking entry level software engineer - let's add studying, and when I'm actually in law school, let's subtract an income - how could this possibly negatively impact a project that is already traveling slower than a snail moving backwards on a turtle?

Why is it going so slowly? Multiple reasons - distractions are easy to come by. Even if gaming doesn't leave me feeling fulfilled in the longterm, it's more fun in the immediate than struggling to describe some fucking map. Game design hits a sweet spot where it's more fun in the longterm and in the immediate than gaming, and it's more fun in the immediate than writing - but there's no path forward there.

I don't know. I do like writing sometimes - it's just hard. With game design, it's easier to just create something and then iterate on it towards "good", but it's harder for me to do the same when writing. And I love the story I have - the world is interesting and the story is heartwrenching and meaningful - but I just... get so distracted by the possibilities of Shapechange (is it OP if you Shapechange into a hydra and your party helps you farm a bajillion heads? what if you could disarm a devil and steal its weapons without them being destroyed when said devil explodes?).

Who am I fucking kidding - let's talk about what this is really about.

Loneliness

Of course, when I say "loneliness", what I mean is "I haven't dated in 3 years, but my ex found someone in less than a month".

(and yeah - who wants to listen to some straight cis male whine about how he's single. boo fucking hoo - the patriarchy's so fucking tough.)

I used to believe it was just because I was unattractive. It was easy to believe, after years of being called ugly - the best compliment I had for my looks for a long time (besides comments in Chinese that I barely understood, from my parents' friends and other middle-aged people...) was that I was "not that bad-looking". That was while she was lying on top of me, and that's the best I got.

But - (and I'm not trying to just 'humble brag' here) - I've gotten enough compliments in recent years that this just doesn't align with reality. Hell, after I started doing MMA last fall, even I sometimes believe that I'm attractive. But I'm still single, so I guess it's just my personality.

That's not strictly true of course. There's always the fact that I'm 5'7", and girls just aren't interested in someone that short. There's always the fact that I'm supersuper barely just a little bit too gay for most girls. And of course, I have too much internalized homophobia or something to date boys.

What if it is just my personality though? Let's rewind a little bit:

Loneliness (rewind)

When I say "loneliness", what I mean is "it's hard for me to make and maintain connections because my ego is huge and easily bruised".

A friend/acquaintance once described me to a stranger as "too sensitive for this world", and I don't have even the flimsiest defense - it's entirely true. I won't speak to people if I think they don't respect me (and yet, what is there to respect? see above).

It might be better if I could split from people a little more peacefully, but alas - I am explosive. I douse bridges in cheap liquor before I light the match.

But what am I to do? How dare anyone else have an opinion other than mine, especially an opinion about me? How dare someone think that I am gay? How dare someone think of me as unmanly?

I don't know how to change, but I also know that if I don't change something, I'll just slowly grow more and more lonely as I alienate more people. I will die alone and unloved and unnoticed.

Fin

I've still got about a week left before the end of April to deliver on that post on DnD and on Weathering with You. I also watched Roma and Moonlight recently, so I might do a combined post on them (since my thoughts are rather similar). Maybe I'll actually finish what I've promised so I can feel some small sense of accomplishment.

well, pce out for now

#life

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rrrecklessabandon · 3 years

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Switching Lane

hi tumblr, so it’s been a hard week for me, jadi ngga bisa upload progress masterclassbootcamp dengan konsisten huhu *brb forgiving dan elus elus myself

Jadi ini adalah sesi masterclass sesi ke 5 yang diisi oleh mbak natasha ardiani, she’s co founder of durian pay, juga vice president dari ovo. Actually she used to aspire to be diplomat, but the pivoting completely to be engaged on fintech field,

Shooo, sesi ini dimulai dengan pertanyaan

“Are you thinking of pivoting or changing workplace?”

my answer would be definetly yes, walau kadang agak kadang ngga yakin bisa, dan ngga yakin juga bahwa alasannya untuk pivoting itu sudah benar atau belum. Nah, karena itulah di sesi ini ku juga sangat antusias karena pengen tau elaborasi dari pivoting itu seperti apa dan gimana mengubahnya jadi sesuatu yang actionable.

Tapi sebelum lebih lanjut membahas tentang pivoting, ada baiknya tau dulu apa itu pivoting?. So, here’s some definition of pivoting from some career enthusiast,

“'Step backwards to move forward. If you want to change career, then you may have to take a step backwards from where you are currently, in order to move forward into your new chosen area. if it's an Industry you wish to work in for the next 30 years or so, consider it as a longterm investment rather than a demotion.” Sherl Sandberg. COO of Facebook

"doubling down on what is working to make a purposeful shift in a new, related direction. Pivoting is an intentional, methodical process for nimbly navigating career changes." Jenny Blake, Career Strategist Nah kalo udah tau definisinya, pasti auto pusying dan banya pertanyaan, and your head be like

That’s what exactly I feel dudeee. Terus gimana dong kepala tidak pusing? aku punya solusi,,,,,,

XANAX

Canda.

hehe.

Well, mungkin biar tidak pusing, kita bisa nyontoh orang orang yang udah berhasil switch karir sebelumnya. Dan eniwei, pivoting ini bukan new term atau baru hyped aja loh, banyak orang orang dulu yang udah menerapkan ini, jadi ada banyak orang yang sebenrnya dulunya switch karir tapi ngga keliatan aja. Contohnya ada albert eistein, dia dulu seorang office admin, kalo dia ngga pivoting mungkin dia ga akan jadi scientist seperti yang kita kenal sekarang. Terus ada juga nih lainnya,

Sekarang udah tau kan kita bisa belajar dari siapa aja, kalo udah saatnya melakukan planning nih, apa aja sih yang harus dilakukan ketika switiching career

Plant - Assess your strengths and what you most enjoy - Understand what you are most interested in - What skills you want to learn in the coming years

Embrace The Situation - Change is constant - Embrace the chaos - Apply self-awareness & empathy

Evaluate your Situation you need to make sure that you are not in emotional situation, and this is not purely an emotional decision - Understand trigger for changes bisa jadi kita lagi lack of self fullfillment, bisa juga karena genuinely interest in certain topic, triggernya bisa macem macem - What you can and can't live without - Know what you optimize for: growth vs self-fulfillment vs sss

Map Out Your Opportunity Cost - Pivot runway: 6-12 monthsIl. Money earned: when side hustle earning X dollar more than main job - Stay until you get better offer - What's your minimum threshold for "better offer"V. - Financial incentives when staying vs leaving

Determining Launch Date - Complete and launch X project at work: be a good leaver. - Take X months to explore or for sabbatical - Make a launch decision by X date - Make a move no later than X date

How to track progress and milestones - Progression/promotion at new job within X year - Manage X successful projects - Land X new clients - Platform reaches certain size

How to know when you're ready - Gut feeling - Maxed out at current job - Gave the last gig your all - Willing to go all out

Betewe lagi sorry banget nih step back ke learning from the beginner, mau mencoba cerita lagi tentang sheryl sanberg, ini mengutip dari Business Insider nih, jadi begini ceritanya sheryl sanberg

"One of the most important times that I saw people not jump when they should is about changing either industries or functions," Sandberg said on an episode of the podcast "When to Jump"'. "There are so many times I've seen people not make that jump because they're afraid they're 'moving backward."

Sandberg says to think of a move backward as an investment in your future, if the only way you can change industries is to accept a more junior role. "If you can financially afford it and you're going to work the next 30 years, who cares about going down?" she said.

The advice comes from personal experience. Sandberg moved from Washington, DC to Silicon Valley in 2001 and struggled for 10 months to get a job. She didn't give up and go back in the governmental sector, where she would have had an easier time securing a role. Eventually she got an offer at Google. Her job at Google was a step back from her job as chief of staff. She went from a job with a team of tens of thousands in the US Treasury to her job at Google with a team of four. OK SEKIAN SORRY TO MYSELF BIKOS IM SHO LAZY TO ELABORATE.

HERE IS A MAGIC SPELL FOR ME ON MY PROGRESSION TO PIVOT MY CAREER

“BACK UR SELF AND TAKE RISKS”

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stepuptocomeup · 4 years

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Understanding Weight Loss Process The Easy Way

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WEIGHT LOSS

Now you find that the razor-thin versions gracing the covers of magazines...you see celebrities and actresses on the huge screen who seem not to acquire a pound. And you question: Just how can I change from these? You may be astonished to know that quite a few highly successful folks at the same period experienced difficulty keeping up a wholesome fat. However, these could overcome the dilemma, due to your new-and-improved, healthful perspective of ingestion.

You might not understand it, however, there's just specified psychology on the job ineffective fat reduction. It's not a real surprise, then, which the publication Psychology currently has researched the dilemma comprehensive. At October of 2004the publication published a post on its internet site detailing the adventures of Diane Berry, a nurse practitioner who recently surveyed women who'd shed 15 lbs and had promised their weight reduction for a mean of 7 decades ago

The ladies shared several essential items in the ordinary. For example, they achieved their fat reduction through Weight Watchers or TOPS, that supposed they needed a business support system since they attempted to keep up their fat loss reduction. The band encounters were exceptionally vital, due to the fact they needed to realize they're not alone in their own battles with weight loss. The ladies were quite odd because up to 90 percent of those that were losing weight wind up placing it back again within five decades ago

The other frequent characteristic of those females in which they did actually experience a more deep disposition shift since they created the transition from fat to lean. From all signs they did actually become more miserable whenever they're thick, however, since they strove to shed pounds, their disposition invisibly.

For all these ladies, healthful ingestion turned into a custom --a custom they refused to violate. They recognized that the enormous role that parenting plays weight reduction. They refused to contribute to unfavorable emotions of pity and jealousy and picked a more confident course alternatively. The ladies also left it a spot out considers themselves routinely, therefore, they may graph their advancement.

Plus then they understood that retaining fat loss is a life battle. They understood they couldn't endeavor a weight-loss program and set it straight back to the plate. That they needed to find fresh eating routines which they may last week and week out. In certain instances, they pitched their fight into this an alcoholic. To put it differently, they understood that the gravity in these problems and also required measures to fix the circumstance.

Perhaps one of the most intriguing elements of those women's adventures is that the simple fact their bodyweight reduction really came from spurts. On occasion, they recovered their burden, however, they failed to let this dissuade them out of their last objective. They only saw their reverses as struggles they had to overcome. This might be the principal emotional characteristic that divides effective dieters out of ineffective kinds --perseverance. Essentially, these females could adjust their characters in a certain manner as a way to reach their longterm weight reduction objectives.

Still another intriguing facet of the analysis was that it revealed that those who'd experienced weight reduction transformation proved genuinely pleased. This suggests that the enormous psychological influence that excess weight loss may happen on somebody. As soon as a person is absolutely free of a load of excess burden, she or he actually is able to fit the struggles of lifestyle expectancy. The dieter advantages from favorable certainty, for example, family relations, good friends, along with co-workers congratulate them to the bodyweight reduction. In this manner, shedding weight could be a really life-affirming encounter and certainly will result in a far more positive prognosis in your existence.

It Has to be mentioned here the psychology of fat reduction is really a Complicated issue. That Is no only Fixing which may turn into a fat man to some lean 1. But, realizing That There's a Psychological element of successful fat reduction can, actually, be fifty percent of the Battle. After a Person accomplishes That he/she's participated in a psychological struggle, she or he actually is able to Do struggle. By devoting yourself to search Healthy strategies to diet regime, an individual may, in mold, effect yourself to some brand new Man --just one who no longer have to try to eat, however only eats to call home.

THE FOOD DIARY

Being a kid, you may possibly have retained a journal to record your day-to-day tasks, your own dreams as well as your own fears. In the event you composed inside the journal every time, it may have appeared as in the event the journal itself was now just one of one's very best pals. Since you grew old, the journal may possibly have turned into an inventory of one's project hunt, love life, or even marriage strategies. Psychologists, actually, let's writing your targets may be the very first step into achieving these. It's been revealed that folks who maintained a published set of these look for the job were far prone to come across the occupation they desired compared to people that didn't.

It isn't surprising, but then, that some dieticians propose retaining a food journal or diary if you should be expecting to shed bodyweight. In the event you are unfamiliar with creating, the idea might look somewhat daunting initially. After all, even if that you really don't appear to own precisely the opportunity to list most your infant's"firsts"--the very initial words, then the primary techniques, the very first day of re the bible --the way do you get likely to come across enough opportunity to jot everything which moves through your own lips? This is really a legal question nonetheless, in the event you give up to take into account exactly how long spent eating, then clearly you may locate the opportunity to jot what you take in.

The trick to preserving a food journal is drive. You must get an urge to list the meal picks. A good means to do so would be to set an image of one's deepest self on the cover of the laptop computer. In addition, be certain you maintain the laptop from full opinion, possibly in your own bedside table or in your table. This can supply you with only the incentive you have to earn note about that which you are ingesting. Still, another inspiring variable might possibly be to log your everyday burden at the start of each and every journal entrance. This way you are able to determine whether a dietary plan picks have an impact on your own fat loss reduction. In the event you discover which you're dropping pounds, then you also are able to saturate a golden star near your entrance. The golden superstar may offer the emotional boost required to keep on to shed bodyweight.

Clearly, another issue you are going to confront is:'' Exactly what should I jot for each entrance? To start with, simply incorporate a working record of meals, together side percentage dimensions. You could be astonished to figure not just what you are ingesting, but in addition what size the elements are. Then categorize just about every food entrance. Might it be good fresh fruit, vegetable, whole grain, or even fat? Such advice might be extremely essential in ascertaining where your pounds will be arriving out of.

It's possible to even apply your diary for supper preparation. In the event you were to think about exactly what you have to eat beforehand, you will be significantly less inclined to gratify inside the incorrect food items. Such preparation could cause you to feel organized and also far more in handle --just two major components for slimming down reduction.

In the Event, You Enjoy relaxation meals each day Once every so often, do not fear. Ingesting high-calorie food items sporadically might help avert an atmosphere of anxiety that may cause overeating. The secret is always to take in"bad meals" in moderation. In addition, it's crucial that you just jot down all that you take in, for example, greasy food items. Attempting to cover up the meal choices by simply never writing down them is both counterproductive and might result in emotions of remorse.

Still, still another very helpful thing would be to jot off your aim weight every day. This is sometimes an essential portion of emotional warfare. Realizing what your objective isand mapping out a means to make it happen --may enhance your opportunities achieving crucial landmarks.

Additionally, when It's Possible, attempt and create Your journal experience pleasure. Do your own producing about the terrace, from the swimming pool or on your tub. Place the mood by participating in a portion of your favorite music at the desktop computer. Emphasize your journal using colored pencils or vibrant stickers. All you are able to do in order in order to produce your diary-keeping errands more intriguing will probably undoubtedly be very helpful.

Be Attentive to How it May require you some time to acquire into your diary-keeping routine. But once you Find those pounds melt off, You'll discover it is really worth the expense of energy and time.

WHY YOUR DIET MAY NOT BE WORKING

Jennifer, a middle-aged lone mum with a six-year-old girl, was bypassing candies for a couple months now. She has also come to be a stickler for part management. She feels as though she is eating much less than, and she has been exercising for one hour in one period at four times each week. Nevertheless, she's not lost one pound. The inquiry would be, "Why?"

This can be an issue that affects girls all over the world. Instead, they believe that they are carrying the measures essential to shed excess weight, however, nothing appears to be taking place. Essentially, they've been trapped at a dieting rut plus also they don't really find out just how exactly to spare themselves. As a consequence, they get annoyed and miserable and could subsequently participate in binge consuming.

Certainly one of those troubles with diet plans is they are frequently standardized. As a consequence, they tend not to simply take into account your personal metabolism and physiology. They give a cookie solution to fat reduction --a solution that might well not work on your personal scenario. As a consequence, a growing amount of individuals are turning into dieticians to invent somebody's weight-loss plan in their opinion. This method was doable by way of the world wide web, at which you are able to coincide with having a dietician some instances of the day or nighttime via email. The dietician may also behave like a private trainer, working out for you throughout your dieting issues.

The other reason you can well be neglecting in your daily diet plan is as a result of the deficiency of assist. You may possibly have relatives that may eat anything they desire and apparently perhaps not profit a pound. As a consequence, they can fill out your icebox with crap food, even directing you to desire. In addition, you can feel like you don't have a body to show to so as to speak about your own weight issues. As a way to work out this issue, a lot of people check out psychotherapists to assist them along with their own food-related problems. This is sometimes especially essential if somebody has become purging within a bid to fight their weight loss issues. Bulimia can be a severe disorder that needs to be medicated so as to guarantee the fantastic well-being of the affected individual. Luckily, there certainly are a lot of therapy packages across the U.S. especially emphasizing bulimia.

Still, still another cause of the dietary collapse its concealed energy. You will basically be swallowing carbs and perhaps not even comprehend it. For example, the frappuccinos which are so common now are filled with carbs as much as 600 at an individual serving! You might even be indulging in carbonated pops --just another supply of more energy. By simply taking a couple easy methods, like eradicating the tropical java drinks out of the daily diet plan and substituting skim milk for whole milk, then you might well be in a position to expel the concealed calories which are denying you dieting victory.

Deficiency of consistency may likewise be quite a diet-killer. You may possibly select a daily diet for some time, then cease until you have left any quantifiable improvement. It really is just normal to desire to find out quick outcomes. The issue is the fact that wholesome fat reduction involves shedding just a number of pounds per week. This indicates you are going to need to keep in your own daily diet for weeks until you visit significant weight reduction. Discouraging? This is, but should you maintain an optimistic perspective you may accomplish your perfect body weight.

You Can Also be successful on your dieting should you Believe It to be more A lifestyle shift. Thus, Your diet plan Becomes meals arrange on your own lifetime. This implies You need to alter the direction that you take a look at foodstuff. It's intended to become fuel on the entire body, and not anything additional. Like a Consequence, You Shouldn't switch food to Cause you to feel to supply you having a feeling of relaxation. A LifeStyle shift indicates devotion; nevertheless, it Ensures that you're ready to stick to the master plan to a very lengthy-term. In the Event, You feel like You Can't Be in Your Diet Plan For any considerable amount of period, possibly it is the right time for you to look at a separate Diet regime. Your goal finally should ben't Only to shed excess weight, yet to eventually become much healthier. A fad-diet isn't going to permit one to accomplish that landmark. For This Reason, you should Select Your diet plan Carefully.

#Lifestyle

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vhaven93-blog · 5 years

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A Postcard to Neo

A POSTCARD TO NEO: AN INTEGRAL SPIN ON THE MATRIX

By Daniel Allen Kelley

At the risk of employing a tired cliche, when an insight spots my antenna and zaps me, it usually comes with a memo attached to it. In this case, the memo gave explicit instructions to use the Matrix as a metaphor while unpacking the insight itself.

So hop aboard the Nebuchadnezzar and let's hear what the Oracle has to say.

WELCOME TO THE DESERT OF THE REAL: A MAP OF THE MATRIX

I was roughly ten years old when I first sat down to analyze this carnival we call LIFE. I recall walking down a sidewalk near the projects in which I lived thinking, “If my eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and skin are just windows through which the world ‘out there’ streams into my world ‘in here’, how can I be certain that anything or anyone is real?”

Okay, I didn't word it exactly that way, but that was the general query.

I recall looking up at the blue canopy of sky and thinking, “That has no end. That is eternal.” I tried so hard to feel, to understand this endlessness; but I only succeeded in feeling quite small and insignificant. My contemplative walk eventually led me to a nearby cemetery. The place was old, and I was inexplicably drawn to it. This particular cemetery is located in Chicopee Massachusetts, off of Broadway. Broadway is a main road, home to a constant stream of cars. Consequently, it was difficult to sneak into this old cemetery without being spotted. Even more difficult to hide once you're in.

As I approached the old iron gate, I noticed that it was loosely secured by a chain and padlock. The new steel of the chain gleamed and stood out in sharp contrast to the ancient iron rods of the spiked gate, which was of a greenish hue. The oleander wrapped covetously around the iron bars of the gate, hugging all but the sharp spikes at the top of each rod. Luckily, I was just the right amount of skinny to squeeze through the narrow opening and, ironically, just the right amount of pale to walk among the tombs.

I quickly spotted an old crabapple tree and hid behind the far side of its trunk, away from the eyes of passersby. After I felt comfortable enough to do so, I wandered among the gravestones, reading the epitaphs, most of which had been partially reclaimed by nature. To my astonishment, some were written in Old English and dated back to the late 1600s! I quietly marveled at the specter of mortality and, after about twenty minutes or so, I returned home.

As soon as I walked through the front door, I told my mother about my conundrum: how can I be sure that anything or anyone else is real if my five senses interpret reality much like a dream?”

My mother, not knowing the full implications of what I was asking, replied “That sounds like a very self-centered way of looking at the world.” Looking back on it now, I can understand why she took it that way. I can also now tell, in retrospect, why I asked the question to begin with.

At the time, I had already begun to have spontaneous Out of Body Experiences and Lucid Dreams. As my mother recently explained in the forthcoming documentary, “My Worst Nightmare”, in which she shares my story, which is then reenacted by actors and CGI, these nocturnal experiences were anything but desirable in those days. I had minimal control over how they played out. As a result, my Lucid Dreams and Astral Projections made me WEAKER in the environment I lived in. They made me a social pariah, to begin with, and they made concentrating in school nearly impossible. The upside to this lack of control was that the forces that were making themselves known could do so without my interfering. Consequently, they revealed themselves FULLY.

By age fourteen, I was finally tested in a sleep clinic. But they found no abnormalities in my brainwaves. But they only tested me once, and did so only while I slept during the day. In other words, they kept me awake all night so that I'd fall asleep during testing the following day. Looking back, it would've been interesting to see what they'd find were they to test me while I was awake. My theory is that they would've seen a consistent DELTA pattern there while I was awake. Of course, it would've been mixed in with BETA, and so on; but DELTA would spike frequently even while I was engaged in, say, solving a math problem. I say this because I now know what it feels like to be in the DELTA state while remaining alert. And that feeling was very constant while I was wide awake in those days.

My reason for bringing this up is that the very same thing that made me less functional as a child eventually became a source of creativity, strength, and therapy as an adult. This, to be sure, is nothing short of a miracle.

But what is a “miracle”, exactly? Let's plug ourselves into the Matrix and see if we might have a word with the Architect.

THE LAY OF THE LAND

The cosmos, it has been said, consists of four quadrants. The upper left quadrant represents the SUBJECTIVE, the upper right represents the OBJECTIVE, the lower left represents the CULTURAL, and the lower right represents the TECHNO-ECONOMICAL.

In other words, the four quadrants are the interiors and exteriors of the individual and the collective. They represent a map of the I, WE, and IT domains. They are inseparable from each other. They depend on each other. And any extreme bias toward or against any one of these quadrants represents a virus in the body politic. The Matrix is a reductionism to, and a collapse of, all the other quadrants to the upper and lower right quadrants. It is a deliberate attempt to reduce all “I” and “We” to nothing but an “It”. Therefore, in the Matrix, you're nothing but a program. You're a cog in the machinery of of a vast network of programs, the lot of which are only as valuable as they are useful.

Your worth is predicated on your utilitarian value.

In a sense, at least when viewed on paper, this reductionism makes sense. After all, if you can't be put to some good use, then what longterm contribution are you making? In order to coexist and thrive, we need to come up with some kind of agreement with regards to how we should conduct ourselves. Not only that, we need a viable system of economy, and a hierarchy of competence with which to guage how and where people can work to keep that economy functioning. And it flies in the face of what we call common sense to suggest a system that lacks consistency. The more predictable the better! Otherwise the Behemoth of Chaos will come in the guise of unforeseen variables, and Dis Pater will belch his flames at the structure of society from below.

So we have love in the service of the State. Art in the service of the Church. Science in the service of decadence. All are either servants of, creations of, or responses to, the Matrix itself. You are given status based solely upon your extrinsic value, and this intrinsic value is conflated with your intrinsic value. In the Matrix, these are one and the same thing!

But miracles happen!

ANATOMY OF A MIRACLE

The problem with creating a system that collapses INTRINSIC worth into EXTRINSIC value is that it leaves no room for surprise. For those who remain locked into the Matrix, surprise is the enemy. That novelty, though, appears to be the very telos of the evolutionary pulse itself. Greatness often manifests in places you'd least expect it to, and a systemic reductionism of the value spheres leaves no room for that fact. The only changes allowed by the Matrix are those that are necessary to keep it from transforming at its root. In one sense, this may be wise. But in another sense, this is detrimental. Truth to tell, you may sense that the Matrix is corrupt or, at the very least, tragically limited in scope and vision. But seeing WHY something doesn't work isn't as valuable as KNOWING what to replace it with. If you shatter the Matrix, without replacing it with a more viable system, you may find that you've loosened the bonds of inmates for whom the order and routine of prison-life was all that stood between your throat and their dagger! At the very least, you've left humanity in a vacuum. You've left them at the mercy of Chronzon, that is to say, of Chaos.

But without Mr. Smith there can be no Neo!

Many people get tripped up on this paradox. If there was no Adam, there could be no Christ. If there was no Eve, there could be no Virgin Mary. What good would the enlightenment of the Buddha be were it not for the temptations of Mara?

So what we need are more great men and women. And we need to ask ourselves a serious question, one that compels a good number of idiots to swing to the extremes of the far Left or Right (politically). It's a question that compels those with a bipartisan worldview to retreat into their preferred ideology.

From what stock can we draw a consistent crop of great men and women?

This question is of such paramount importance that any attempt at sugarcoating the answer makes you complicit in the crime of this pandemic MODERATE ideology sweeping the Western world.

Well, first, what makes a person truly GREAT? Is it their level of competence? That's certainly important, but NO. After all, there are geniuses that never apply their gifts to a longterm solution to things like inequality (of opportunity, not outcome), extreme poverty, lack of education, and so forth. I can't prove it, but I suspect that seminal geniuses make up roughly the same percentage of the world's population as the seminal Forest Gumps of the world. I use “seminal” here in the sense of taking a unique capacity and spreading it out onto the globe. That is to say, taking one's INTRINSIC worth and using it as EXTRINSIC value, but in a manner so unorthodox and unpredictable that it's, well, it's nothing short of a miracle.

Let's imagine, for example, that there are a dozen geniuses toiling away on coming up with a way to generate existential meaning in a test tube. These geniuses were culled from the upper classes of their respective societies, as you might expect of those of good breeding and limitless opportunities. While these geniuses are working in their labs, there's one man with, say, Down's Syndrome, touring the world with his astonishing life-story. Let's imagine that his journey began with a small memoir of his plight written by his sister. This becomes a bestseller. Eventually, this man becomes a motivational speaker and positively effects the lives of millions of people. Perhaps some of these people will become the geniuses working in a lab to find a cure for cancer. What does this mean?

It means that GREATNESS emerged from the least-expected place. This formula is ensconced in the innumerable myths and fables about the so-called “Fool's Journey”. To this very day, this formula remains the most surefire archetypal theme for selling books and making movies.

Why?

Because sometimes the role of Neo isn't played by a Keeanu Reeves. Sometimes that role is played by a Pee Wee Herman! Christ was an illiterate peasant, for Christ's sake! In terms of contemporary stories, Frodo Baggins was a redneck hobbit. Dorothy Gale was a fragile little girl from Kansas. Bastian Bux was a shy and reticent dreamer eschewed by his schoolmates. And so on.

What about you? Are you the hero in the story of your life? When you look inside yourself, do you feel your own intrinsic worth? Have you figured out a way to share it with the world, increasing your extrinsic value in a manner that fills in the gaps left by the current system?

If you do decide to take the Red Pill, perhaps we'll meet behind that old crabapple tree. There, we'll stand amidst the tombs of those who lived and died without ever discovering their own miracle. We'll look into the windows of each other's eyes and perhaps we won't feel so alone anymore. And maybe, just maybe, we'll stand as one in the middle of that Matrix, aware of the “I” and the “WE”. Armed with that unflinching Eye, we'll lift our gaze toward the endless dome of heaven and see God's own finger reach down as a bolt of lightning. Will it burst the chains on the cemetery's iron gate? Will the dead rise up and walk through it?

Will we?

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chocolate-brownies · 6 years

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Earlier this year, when the Brain Preservation Foundation—headed by neuroscientist Kenneth Hayworth of the Howard Hughes Medical Institute—awarded a prize to researchers for preserving all the neural circuits of a pig’s brain, Hayworth found himself in the media spotlight. The only problem was, the popular media simplified things a bit too far. They took the brain preservation technology to be all about euthanasia. Since the method used to preserve the pig’s brain only works with a recently deceased brain, if the technology became available to humans, anyone wishing to preserve their own brains this way would need to die, ideally when the brain is in good shape. So, reporters reached the conclusion that the technology was about taking the opportunity to die knowing your brain would be preserved. As we shall see, that wasn’t the point.

The sensational euthanasia angle crowded out the scientific story about the remarkable advances being made in connectomics—the science of figuring out a brain’s complete wiring diagram—and the once-absurd dream that it might one day be possible to upload a mind into the cloud, Ray Kurzweil-style, achieving cyber-immortality. Although “it will be at least 50 years before the first human mind is successfully uploaded and 100 years before it’s routine,” Hayworth said, he regards it as not only scientifically possible but ethically imperative.

But first, the science.

Just as genomics studies genomes, so connectomics studies connections in the brain. The ultimate goal of this 21st-century biological cartography is to map the location of every neuron and every connection: the synapses that, neurobiologists believe, encode what we call “mind,” from every memory to every facet of personality, beliefs, and consciousness.

Determining the connectome—or, a connectome, since each brain’s is unique—is the prerequisite for uploading and “emulating” (presumably in silicon) a person’s mind, as Hayworth and others dream. A decade after scientists unveiled the first such wiring diagram—of the roundworm C. elegans (302 neurons, 7,000 synapses)—connectomics is hot in pursuit of its Everest: the connectome of the 86-billion-neuron, 100-trillion-synapse human brain.

Last year one of Hayworth’s colleagues, Davi Bock, led a team that obtained electron microscopic images of the fruit fly brain and its 100,000 neurons, the initial step in mapping the first connectome of an actual brain. (C. elegans has a primitive nervous system, not a brain.) At the Allen Institute for Brain Science in Seattle, neuroscientists are taking the first steps toward a mouse connectome: They slice a one-cubic-millimeter chunk of mouse brain into 25,000 pieces, imaging each with an electron microscope that shows the neurons and axons.

One cubic millimeter is one-thousandth of a mouse brain, or one-billionth of a human brain, Bock said. You begin to see why some scientists doubt this will ever work. The mouse project—again, just 0.1% of the brain, and 100,000 neurons—is costing tens of millions of dollars, and is only a baby mouse step toward a full mammalian connectome. But it took $3 billion and more than a decade to sequence the first human genome, compared to hours and $1,000 today. So, some would like to assume that massive technological advances will bring a human connectome within scientific reach.

Because synapses fall apart quickly once life ceases, imaging a connectome requires a brain that’s just barely dead.

To prepare for that day, a tech start-up called Nectome proposes to preserve brains with glutaraldehyde, as its founders did with a pig brain, winning an $80,000 science prize from the Brain Preservation Foundation. Because, as noted above, synapses fall apart quickly once life ceases, imaging a connectome requires a brain that’s just barely dead. This of course triggered the euthanasia fracas. Euthanasia is not, however, a requirement of this technology (should it ever come into being). People who die of natural causes could presumably have uploaders standing by.

Before you dismiss this as sci-fi nonsense, note that Nectome has a $1 million grant from the National Institutes of Health for its preservation and connectome R&D. The preservation technique that won the prize from his foundation, Hayworth says, “appears to preserve the full range of structural and molecular features that modern neuroscientific theories postulate underlie the encoding of all of the types of longterm memories that make a person unique.” Someone undergoing the procedure “is electing to ‘hit pause’…in order to optimally preserve the full informational content of their brain.”

Just to be clear, we’re not talking about reanimation, cryonics-style. Hayworth and Nectome believe the future lies not in reviving the dead but in full-brain “emulation,” or recreating in digital form a brain’s wiring diagram and thus its information content. Nectome describes its mission as preserving a brain “well enough to keep all its memories intact: from that great chapter of your favorite book to the feeling of cold winter air, baking an apple pie, or having dinner with your friends and family. If memories can truly be preserved…we believe that within the century it could become feasible to digitize your preserved brain and use that information to recreate your mind.”

The scientific questions about brain emulation are as fascinating as they are unanswered. In addition to knowing which neurons connect with which—the basic connectome—do you also need to know the strength of each synapse? the firing patterns? the distribution of neurotransmitters? the subjective sense the brain’s owner gets when a particular synapse operates?

Oh, and one little detail: The information content of a cubic millimeter of brain tissue is about 1 petabyte of data, Bock says. An entire mouse brain comes to 1,000 petabytes. At 1 billion petabytes—1 petabyte being equal to 1 million gigabytes—the informational content of a single human brain exceeds the total storage capacity of the cloud today!

But would-be brain emulators don’t let such details deter them. Instead, they predict, as a 2018 study did, that “eventually the reading of memories…will become the daily routine of connectomics.” Those wiring diagrams, including in preserved brains, will “capture functionally relevant features of brain circuits from which mind and cognitive functions emerge”—possibly by 2075 to 2100—neuroengineer Randal Koene told the 2017 SharpBrains summit. But if brain emulations built from connectomes come to pass, is the emulation you? Or is it “just” a copy?

That and related questions echo those that I explored in my very first Brain Science column in Mindful in April 2013 (available at mindful. org/mind-vs-brain): Is there is a mind separate from brain? Is mind “only” what the brain does? In the unlikely event that neuroscience learns everything there is to know about the latter, will it have explained every ineffable mystery about the former? If someone does emulate a brain in silicon, will the silicon version of you sleep and dream, and if it doesn’t, will that degrade its information content? If the brain upload is in the cloud, does it have consciousness? If consciousness is an “emergent property” of brain activity (essentially a happy accident), then it might. Will it suffer something like the mental and sensory deprivation of solitary confinement? Will it wonder where it is and how it got there, tormented by existential despair? It boggles the mind!

In the unlikely event that neuroscience learns everything there is to know about the brain, will it have explained every ineffable mystery about the mind?

Hayworth envisions installing the brain upload in a sensory-enabled robot, so as to avoid at least the last two questions. And to those who argue that the upload couldn’t be the person whence it came, he asks, if C-3PO’s hard drive were transferred to a new droid, would anyone doubt that it is still C-3PO? No. How about if the hard drive were copied perfectly, and put into a second robot; would that be C-3PO also? Yes, he said: “Making copies of C-3PO doesn’t raise philosophical questions for most people. But if we accept the materialist neuroscience view (in which the mind is the brain), we have to accept that a simulation will be you.”

Failing to pursue research that might make brain emulation possible is therefore unethical, Hayworth argues. “There are moral implications to knowing you could have preserved the information content of a human brain but instead said, ‘nah, screw it’” he says. If we do not at least try to develop the technology to preserve the unique patterning of neural circuitry that encodes an individual, including “the memories and knowledge of Holocaust survivors before they all die, that, to me, would be as if we again burned the library of Alexandria” and lost an incalculable store of human experience.

SCI-FI | Heaven on Earth?

An unusually romantic view of connectomic innovation appears in the Netflix hit Black Mirror. In the episode “San Junipero,” two women meet in a simulated California party town (circa 1987): a paradise for the dead and dying, where, if they choose to have their minds uploaded, they can leave behind their lonely end-of-life. San Junipero gives them not only good times, but a second chance at human connection, self-expression, and healing. The question remains whether this use of tech represents a far extreme of escapism or a compassionate, human-made heaven.

This article appeared in the October 2018 issue of Mindful magazine.

Mind Vs. Brain

The Magnificent, Mysterious, Wild, Connected and Interconnected Brain

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#sleep sounds #sleep music #white noise app #nature sounds #relaxing sounds #rain sounds for sleeping

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disc-golf · 6 years

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How to Use Chess Strategy to Up Your Leadership Game

The #1 soft skill companies want in 2018 according to a LinkedIn study of over 2,000 organizations is … leadership!

Really, where have all the leaders gone? Lee Iacocca wrote a book about that subject 10 years ago. I remember reading it and it looks like leadership is still in demand.

If supply is not meeting demand, then what are you doing to heed the leadership call? What are you doing to prepare for that next project leadership role? Is jumping into a supervisory role on your agenda? Are your leadership skills ready for the next management opening? If you are already in management or even in a C-suite position, are your leadership skills good for the long haul?

The LinkedIn article I mentioned above assumes leaders have another skill, the skill of strategic thinking. So, leaders need to understand how to lead but also have to be good strategic thinkers? How and where do you practice these skills?

Airplane pilots use simulators to learn how to land a plane with one engine and a hole in the fuselage. Surgeons practice on cadavers to increase surgery precision. For business people, the same hands-on procedures just don’t apply.

So are you out of luck?

No. There is a way leadership and strategic thinking are practiced with incredible focus, giving chiefs-in-training an incredibly incisive edge. And believe it or not, that resource has existed for over 1,400 years and is used all over the world. It’s a game, learned in school but often left behind in the frenzy of adulthood.

I’m talking about the game of chess.

If chess is presented in terms that business people understand, it can be readily applied to developing and maintaining many of the critical skills needed to run a business.

Losing is not failing—it’s a lesson in how to win

In Tom Peters new book, “The Excellence Dividend: Meeting the Tech Tide with Work that Wows and Jobs that Last,” he opines that whoever screws the most stuff up wins. It sounds contradictory, but that truth has played out in countless ways for centuries.

So it is with chess. A wide-eyed newbie can study strategy, but until they see a move play out—and the consequences it reaps—they won’t understand how to build on or amend that strategy to move their pieces even further the next game. That means losing a handful of times. And if you’re in the game to become better, then you’ll happily endure a few knocked-down kings.

Jeff Bezos puts it in business terms: “Companies that don’t continue to experiment, companies that don’t embrace failure, eventually get in a desperate position where the only thing they can do is a Hail Mary bet at the very end.”

Let’s take this a step further. If chess is an effective way to map out company decisions as a leader, it stands to reason that playing an ACTUAL game of chess would allow you to play out different scenarios without the danger of loss.

Let’s see what that would look like.

Pawns and profits, queens and catastrophe

Every chess game is an opportunity to practice the full run of a decision. This is especially beneficial to entrepreneurs and startups that are spending a lot of human and financial capital on breaking on their market. So what move is the right one to make?

By assigning each piece on the board a resource that your company has in hand, you can play out how that resource would work when it engages with competitor resources (opposing pieces), how it might be supported by investor capital (your own royalty pieces), and what happens when you move it in various directions on the board. Does it get in the way of other resources? Does it make it possible to defend more valuable resources?

These “resources” can be anything—employees, money, products, physical assets, etc. The process of working through a bird’s-eye-view, strategic game like this informs your ability to be a transformational leader. In other words, it gives you the strategic, long-term vision that enables you to make decisions that are the best for your employees, your company, your investors, and your customers. You transform the entire business into something more beneficial and more profitable.

But there are other benefits to chess practice, too. While you may have a longterm vision for your company, playing out a full game of chess with representational pieces forces you to play the role of a situational leader. It puts you in the hot seat with consequential questions, like, “If I move my Queen (my hot-button product) to a space two spaces to the right (a different distributor), will I be better protected or more limited in my reach and impact?” Moves like these for you to think on the spot, taking into consideration all of the pieces on the board.

Finally, your business needs a clear vision for the endgame. This is where results-based leadership comes in. You have to know what the most important pieces on your board are, so that you know what’s okay to sacrifice and what compromises are necessary. It’s not always about “winning” every move, but winning the long game.

Practice makes profit

Be a leader that takes action; find the chess pieces you have buried in the house and bring them into the office. Set up a game in the lunch room or conference area with a sign saying: “Looking for a leadership challenge, you up for it?” Don’t laugh; I’ve been onsite and many of the new-age workplaces have billiards, table tennis, and chess set up ready for a challenge.

Alternately, just have one in the corner of your office that you can play by yourself. Get accustomed to mapping out company strategy using the pieces on the chess board. And when you don’t have a partner, play both sides. It will force you to see your company from the competitors’ perspective.

You can also jump on chess.com and set up a free account, though having a physical chess set is my preference.

Understanding the dynamics of chess can accelerate your company’s competitive position. They help you hone your skills as a transformational, situational, and results-driven leader with a thorough understanding of your company’s position and potential. With plenty of practice, you’ll find yourself winning game after game in the lifelong tournament called business.

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