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#this game is older than minecraft and I doubt it’ll ever die
diamondzart · 2 months
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Played a casual match in Team Fortress 2 today and there was a medic player named MEDIC GAMING, this guy had a thick German accent and blasted bass boosted Medic theme in voice chat every time he ubered Heavy. This was the TF2 experience of all time, I swear.
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teaandgames · 6 years
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The 2017 Awards B-Side
The main awards have come and gone and once again there are a few games that have been relegated into the sidelines. If I were a parent, I would be feeling mighty guilty about all of these neglected children, bereft of christmas presents. Thankfully, I’m not (so I don’t), but I still want to give a final word to some of these games. So while they don’t get big shiny awards, we can award some scout badges to make up for it.
Looking back over the games that I reviewed this year, I actually reviewed a lot more modern games than I thought. I’ve a tendency to slip into reviewing older games simply as a cost-saving measure. I buy all these games with my own hard-earned cash and when it comes to a contest between video games and food, I kind of have to go with the latter. But I digress, let’s get on with the B-Side Awards:
Prey
Handyman Award For Best Crafting System
Like most of the space debris that surrounds Talos 1, Prey just kind of drifted past me. It wasn’t bad and there were moments here and there (particularly in the opening) where it really gripped me. Particularly when the mimics were first introduced, which caused me to hit damn near everything that wasn’t nailed down with a wrench. And a few things that were. After that it gradually become less interesting for me but there was one thing I appreciated from start to finish: the crafting system.
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It’s so simple and yet so clever. Everything in Prey is broken down to a set of core materials and you can chuck everything in a big recycler to bring them down to those base components. You can then tape them together to make something new. It means that all the useless junk, and ammo you don’t use, suddenly has value. Finding a banana skin in a trash can (because you have to check) is no longer an irritation. It’s probably one of the smoothest and easiest crafting systems I’ve ever used.
Given how crafting systems are rapidly oozing into every genre, no doubt brought on by the rise of the survival games (and Minecraft), developers should really look at Prey as an example of how to do things right.
Outlast 2
The Ngeeeeh Award For Most Unsure
I really don’t know whether I like Outlast 2 or not. Conceptually, it’s nice. The concept of this town gripped by a religious fervour, and where that mania leads them, is great. Religious horror is a barrel that goes relatively untapped by video games, outside of some brief mention. And it’s a pretty damn scary form of horror, even if you exclude all the flashbacks of Sunday School. Outlast 2 handles itself relatively well, even if the odd flashes to the school are a bit hamfisted. But it’s nice to see a game that heralds the apocalypse and then actually gives you one.
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It’s in the gameplay that I’m torn. It’s your classic Run’n’Hide style and I’ve never really liked that. For one thing, when hiding is your only defence, you tend to appreciate how dumb AI can really be. I’m clearly peeking out of a log dude, just crane your neck down. It kind of ruins the tension for me when any encounter ends in a cupboard or under a table. When you’re not doing that, it’ll end when you’ve found the door to the next area and the enemy vanishes. That’s when Outlast 2 isn’t using its camera system and muddy graphics to hide where you’re supposed to go. I’m afraid I can’t see that miniscule fence gap, Outlast 2, I have a camera waving about in my face.
Once again, I prefer it when we get to be armed. At least that way, encounters end with someone’s teeth on the floor.
7 Days To Die
The Stick It Back In The Oven Award For Buggiest Game
When I played 7 Days to Die for the Progress Report, it was pretty damn buggy but we at least managed to play for a good few hours. Long enough for a giant zombie bear to break into our home and scare the hell out of us, anyway. I felt I had a decent handle on the game, but the joy of the game had somewhat worn off and me and my friend drifted away from it. A few months later, we got a few friends interested in it and we started a new game.
We played for a few hours at a LAN Party and it was great. We holed up in a house and shot zombies. After that, we tried again but my friend had turned creative mode on and we basically broke the game. Then a few weeks, and a few updates, elapsed. When we went back in the big bugs began. For starters, I fell through the floor shortly after connecting. I couldn’t get backup; I was stuck falling into the big blue below me. I had to listen to my friends having fun killing zombies while I fell into the endless void, my swimming animation playing the whole time.
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The bugs only went on from there. My legs would often break for no reason and at one point we discovered a waterfall that seemed to have formed a few feet away from the water source it was coming from. So I jumped off of it and broke my leg again. Then the game just locked up completely. Perhaps the zombie virus spread to the server or perhaps they need to do a bit more tweaking.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Spirit of Justice
The Are You Kidding Me Award
I love Spirit of Justice. Looking back over it, it was a wild ride. The gameplay of Ace Attorney is now so firmly cemented that what it really needed was a change of setting and Spirit of Justice really delivered. The cases in Khurai’in are a joy, not least because the court is so outwardly hostile towards Phoenix. From the relatively safe cases of the previous games, we now have the threat of Phoenix’s death hanging over us.
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Along with that, we’ve got some cool new gameplay additions. The divination seances allow us to piece together the last moments of the victim. A really cool way of expanding the gameplay, and they don’t even have to bend over backwards to do it because, hey, magic. This all culminates in a fantastic final case that hits me straight in the heart. Particularly when it comes to the best character, Dhurke. But it’s a little overshadowed by one thing. The character names.
Puhray Zeh'lot is a fake name? You don’t say? So what’s his real name?
Rheel Nehmu?
Are you fucking kidding me?
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ase-trollplays · 7 years
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-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began pestering tapeFace [TF] --
-- liberatedRaptor [LR] began pestering tapeFace [TF] --
LR: why tape tho
TF: Because my voice hurts people. :c
TF: Taping my mouth stops me from hurting people by accident :D
LR: oh thats actually kinda sad
TF: It's not that bad once you get used to it. :) I never liked the sound of my voice anyways.
TF: So! Why don't we introduce ourselves! :D
TF: My name's Cacoph
LR: im Wynter
TF: :O Nice!
TF: It's good to meet you, Wynter :D
TF: So, how's your night going? :)
LR: ah all things considered id say its pretty good
LR: ive been walking since i got up tho which was hours ago
LR: im a little tired :v
TF: Yeah, I bet. D: I hope you're close to where ever it is you're walking to.
LR: still a few nights off but HEY i wont make progress if i dont work hard so
LR: i just keep looking forward to seeing my friends again
TF: Good luck! I'm sure they're all looking forward to seeing you again, too!
TF: I hope whatever separated you from them wasn't anything too awful or serious. :c
LR: eh
LR: so question
LR: if you cant speak because of your voice being dangerous
LR: do you sign? :O
TF: Yes I do! Though most of the time I end up using a white board.
TF: Not many people bother to learn sign language. :/
TF: I'm assuming you have, though :O
LR: i know sign!! :O ugh yeah i hate it, no one knows it so im always like "wtf"
TF: Oh, I know! DX I wish learning to sign was included in basic schoolfeeding like learning Alternian.
TF: Out of curiosity, what made you decide to learn sign language?
LR: uhhh its a long story that basically ends in "im mute"
TF: Wow, I've never come across a fellow mutie :o
TF: This calls for (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ~『✧~*SPECIAL EMOTES*~✧』
TF: Granted, I would have started using those eventually anyways. (◕ω◕✿)
TF: I lost track of the website I copy them from for a bit. (●︿●;;)
LR: thats cute wtf
LR: im lazy and never use things like that even though theyre adorable
TF: Thank you! (◠ω◠✿) I'm always worried they make me seem obnoxious or something, but they're just so much more fun and expressive! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
LR: im a firm believer that if someone finds you obnoxious then theyre just missing out
LR: be yaself
TF: Exactly! (ノ◠ヮ◠)ノ Who has time for that kind of negativity? Not this mime!
LR: YOURE A MIME
LR: oh my god
TF: Is that a good "oh my god" or a bad "oh my god"? (●﹏●✿)
LR: a good one lol
TF: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ Great! I was worried for a second.
TF: Not many people enjoy mimes. (″・ิ_・ิ) I guess I remind them too much of the clowns.
LR: i mean i guess i could understand that
LR: but mimes are usually harmless so like
TF: It really sucks. ┐(‘~`;)┌ But what can you do other than keep on keeping on, right? (´・ω・`)
LR: yeah! thats a good way to look at it
LR: like
LR: fuck them
LR: lol
LR: you seem pretty cool either way
TF: ∩(◕//ω//◕)∩ Thanks!
TF: You seem pretty cool, too (✿◠ヮ◠)
LR: cool? im ice cold B)
LR: YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
-- tapeFace [TF] plays a sick ass guitar riff B3 --
TF: Also, can I just say I love your text color? (⊙△⊙✿) I'm a sucker for super bright pastels!
LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thanks ^^ its really beautiful huh? it sounds like im trying to toot my own horn or something but just
LR: i could fuckin stare at it all night
LR: so like do you for reals stand outside all night and just mime at people
LR: what u do
TF: I actually work as a janitor at a library. (◕︿◕✿) It's not very fun, but miming on street corners doesn't keep me fed and sheltered.
TF: But on my nights off, you can find me in the park being a miming dork to my heart's content (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
LR: being a janitor sounds terrible RIP
TF: It is, but sometimes I get to have a little fun. ԅ(≖ω≖ԅ)
TF: The library I work at has a real problem with people doing the frick frack behind the bookshelves or under tables.
LR: Oh what the hell,
TF: My boss pays me extra to expose anyone I find.
TF: As mean as it is, I get a laugh out of ruining the mood for some people. (n゜ω゜n)
TF: Their expression are priceless when they realize they've been caught
TF: Though some of them get very angry and try to kill me. (⊙︿⊙✿)
LR: not surprised in the least
LR: but like...... why a library
LR: why would they fuck in a library
LR: BOOKS GET ME SO HOT
TF: Libraries have to be one of the unsexiest places, yet at least twice a month
TF: THERE THEY GO, HUMPING IN THE GEOGRAPHY SECTION
LR: JUST SLAM A BOOK CLOSED ON MY DICK JUST FUCKING DO IT
TF: The only thing worse than breaking up couples is people who bring in food and hide their food trash because then we get ANTS. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
TF: I CAN'T TYPE LOUD ENOUGH ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE ANTS.
TF: Just looking at one makes my skin crawl! {{p´Д`q}}
LR: ugh ants are such a gross hassle
LR: especially trying to figure out where they come from??
LR: how the fuck did they get in
TF: I don't know but they need to STOP ( ≧Д≦)
TF: They're the absolute worst and I hate having to get rid of them! They're so little and they get everywhere, and they have the nerve to bite!
TF: And it's hard to be sure you got all of them because they're so small and they completely disappear on carpet (┳Д┳)
LR: plus the leave that gross chemical trail for other ants to follow
LR: eugh
TF: ((brb))
TF: UUUUuuuugh, literally everything about them is awful (╬ Ò﹏Ó)
LR: id say i hate spiders more tbh
TF: I honestly don't mind them too much (´。• ᵕ •。`) the small ones are adorable
TF: Jumping spiders give me a fright, though (●︿●✿) I don't mess with those.
LR: all spiders terrify me
LR: its dumb
LR: even the harmless ones
LR: they just got too many legs.................
TF: Eugh, I can understand that. (●﹏●✿) Centipedes creep me out for the same reason.
LR: fffffffffffffffUCK those things
LR: fuck all things with more than four legs
TF: Some things with more than four legs are so cute though! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ Like ladybugs and butterflies and praying mantises
LR: one of those things is not like the other
TF: One of those things just doesn't belong? /(●△●✿)\
TF: I think praying mantises have an underappreciated cuteness to them. (´◡ω◡`) And it's so funny watching them chop at things (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ
LR: i watched a video of one give birth to a terrible parasite that drove it to seek out water and drown itself
TF: (⊙︿⊙) ...
TF: (´_`。) They can't always be cute
LR: its a darn shame too
TF: That poor thing. (; ̄д ̄) Who would even film that? It sounds awful
LR: apparently its common
LR: hairworms?
TF: Yikes. (◕﹏◕)
TF: That kind of make me think of those flies that infect bees.
TF: I hope those never adapt to infect grubs or something. (⊙﹏⊙)
LR: THAT
LR: IS TERRIFYING
TF: I KNOW RIGHT??
TF: I MEAN WE'RE BASICALLY SUPER EVOLVED BUGS
LR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TF: (⊙∩⊙✿) I immediately regret this line of thought. I made a terrible mistake
LR: i regret your line of thought too
LR: i am
LR: scarred for life
TF: THEN HOW ABOUT A NICE UNSCARRING SUBJECT? (ノ⊙ヮ⊙)ノ
TF: Do you have any quadrants you're looking forward to seeing?
LR: YAS
LR: i miss my mate and my moirail
LR: and some fucker who is sorta my kismesis but like
LR: its complicated?
LR: noncommittal "eh?" sound
TF: (◕△◕)Oh wow, you have so much going on.
TF: What's your sorta-but-not-really kismesis like?
LR: hes a dick but also i guess hes attractive? i think? im not actually sure
LR: i dont really feel that way about people so its hard to tell
LR: i guess he looks good
LR: BUT YEAH were just
LR: dicks to each other all the time
TF: Sounds like fun (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
TF: What about your matesprit and your moirail?
LR: oh my god so my matesprit is literally the coolest person in the fucking universe (no offense to you Cacoph cuz youre up there) and shes cute and she bakes a lot and shes good at it and she has her OWN BAKERY (which i work at) and she memes on me all the time and we just have so much in common
LR: she makes my heart do the backflip things
TF: (ㄒoㄒ) Oh my god, that's so sweet! You sound like the cutest couple
LR: yeah except i never told her i was going anywhere and its been two weeks i think so shes probably angry as fuck
LR: shes gonna rip my face off when i come back
TF: WELP
TF: It was nice knowing you
TF: Your memory will live on forever in this chatlog
LR: here lies Wynter: their mate fucking murdered them with a glare
TF: Killed before their time, they will be missed. (◡︿◡,✿)
TF: Did you at least tell your moirail?
LR: yeah
TF: Good, so you won't be double dead once they see you again. (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ
TF: I really hope you can smooth things over with your matesprit once you see her again. (◕︿◕) It's really gonna suck if you lose her.
LR: YEAH IM PRETTY SURE ID JUST
LR: DIE
LR: ON THE SPOT
TF: PLEASE DON'T DIE ヽ(´□`。)ノ WE ONLY JUST MET
LR: RIP,,,,
LR: two weeks is the longest ive gone without video games
LR: im dying
TF: What kind of video games do you play? (◕△◕✿)
LR: anything i can get my soulless little hands on
TF: That's a lot of games probably (✿◕△◕)~★
TF: I mostly just play casual things like Stardew Valley, Minecraft, and Lusus Crossing
LR: i do all of those things
LR: an also COD and Halo and Overwatch
TF: I tried playing COD, but the online players were so rude and negative. (≖︿≖✿) I doubt a single one of them was older than six.
TF: I haven't tried the other games you mentioned, though
LR: you should try :O Overwatch is super fun
TF: Really (◕△◕✿) What's it like? I see memes and fanart all the time on bubblr, but does it really live up to the hype?
LR: its grossly addictive
LR: and you get matched with people of similar skill so when you first start out you probably wont run into the gross types that play COD because theyre just starting out as well
TF: That sounds great (◕ω◕✿) It'll be nice not to have wrigglers screaming at me to git gud just because I haven't poured my entire existence into the game
TF: Does it run better on hisktop, or should I get it for the game system? (◕△◕✿)
LR: i play it on console but i believe theres a bigger playbase on husktop
LR: i would suggest only getting it on husktop if you have an external mouse
TF: Alright then, husktop it is. (◕‿◕✿)
TF: Eugh, that emote didn't come out well (◕﹏◕✿)
LR: o vo
TF: ⊙v⊙
LR: oh god
TF: ಠ_ಠ I'm suddenly very bad at emotes.
TF: why this
LR: cant always be good at it
LR: what about you, you got any quads youre gogo for?
TF: No, sadly not. (◡︿◡✿) I've had crushes, but they never amounted to anything
TF: On a whim, I signed up for a matchmaking thing just for curiosity's sake, and I got matched with a highblood. ヽ(*・ω・)ノ
LR: oh shit highbloods dawg
TF: I'm actually pretty nervous. Looking over his profile, he seems really grumpy and serious. (●﹏●✿)
LR: oh shit x2
LR: good luck
TF: Thanks, I'm gonna need it. ヽ(°ロ°)ノ
TF: I had a lot of fun chatting with you! (◕ω◕✿) Unfortunately, I need to get going.
LR: oh sure
LR: lemme know how ya date goes!
TF: Will do, friendo! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ Good luck making it back to your friends and quadmates!
-- tapeFace [TF] ceased pestering liberatedRaptor [LR] --
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