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#they're cute okay and also gigantic assholes
lovelyirony · 3 years
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*waves* from the general part of the prompt list #7 “Is that blood?” “Yes but that doesn’t matter right now, what does matter is-” “You are literally bleeding.” for buckytony pls.
Tony doesn’t like it when the team notices that he’s injured. It’s not something that needs to be prioritized, he can (probably) deal with it just fine so long as Pepper, Happy, or Rhodey don’t find out. 
What he wasn’t expecting was Bucky to pay attention. 
Don’t get him wrong. He and Bucky are on...well. It’s not the worst term to be on. Like it’s still pretty bad. 
Really bad. 
Who the hell else would be on the term of “oh hey this guy lives with the superhero team but he killed my parents and also his best bud didn’t tell me and now we just. Live together. Kind of. We share a breakfast shelf because we’re both fans of blackberries.” 
Nobody. 
-
Rhodey tells him he’s insane. 
“If you wanted drama you could’ve just joined Happy and I watching The Bachelorette instead of just doing it yourself.” 
“You know I hate how you two watch literally the worst shows in the world.” 
“You watched a documentary on how spatulas were invented,” Rhodey deadpans. “Don’t even start with us. How is it, by the way? Is Bucky weird?” 
“Of course he’s weird!” Tony exclaims. “He’s kind of a murderer? Can you classify him as that? Because it’s a weird clarification to make.” 
“Should we ask him?” 
“You are so dense,” Tony moans. 
“I’m not dense!” Rhodey defends. 
“You just asked if we should ask the guy who we’re wondering about is a murderer if he is one.” 
“Don’t ask him that then, got it,” Rhodey mutters. “Even though technically he probably knows more about it than we do.” 
“No shit!”
But back to Bucky. 
He watches Tony. 
Probably to make sure that Tony won’t kill him or Steve, which he shouldn’t be worried about. 
(Tony would never. Imagine the PR nightmare.) 
But Tony wasn’t exactly expecting it because none of the team ever had, for a variety of reasons: 
1.) They didn’t want to give Tony a big head by focusing on him at all as he already had about ten thousand other people giving him attention. 
2.) They all had their own shit to do. 
These reasons were both fine by Tony. Whatever. They allowed him a certain degree of unknowability and he could do things like sneak off when he’s injured. 
Except he can’t do that with Bucky. 
-
They had a particularly bad mission. It involved alien delegations, one betrayal, and the Iron Man suit being taken for a few rides with no charge. 
Tony got knocked around a few times, and so he has a couple of injuries. 
Spread out. 
So he avoids the debrief by citing business reasons, which is actually true, but goes to the garage to patch up the wounds before Pepper sees him and is concerned and gets sad and guilt-ridden, and then he in turn gets guilt-ridden and she gets him to sign paperwork for a nation-wide company pizza party. 
(She’s devilish that way.) 
What he wasn’t expecting was Bucky to follow him. 
He doesn’t know what the hell kind of answer he gave to Maria that sounded decent, but he’s staring at Tony. 
“Is that...is that blood?” Bucky asks. 
“I mean yeah, but that’s not important right now, what’s important is-” 
“You’re bleeding,” he interrupts. “You’re literally bleeding in three different places and it doesn’t matter to you?” 
“Well...it’s fixable?” 
“Why didn’t you go to the medbay?” 
“I don’t need to?” Tony asks. 
“Oh, so you just what, sew this up yourself?” 
“Well I did take home ec in high school,” Tony muses. 
“Bullshit,” Bucky said. “Bet you had maids to do all that shit, there’s no way you took home ec.” 
“And why not?” Tony says. “Are you seriously going to doubt my own choices?” 
“You’re trying to change the subject.” 
“Let’s keep this thing going, I’m liking where this was headed,” Tony says. 
“You’re good at this, aren’t you?” Bucky asks. “Changing the subject and making sure people never pay attention to what’s really going on? Sure you didn’t take magician classes instead of the home ec shit?” 
“Barnes, babe, if I wanted to die a virgin I would’ve done literally anything else besides that. Does magic turn you on?” Tony asks, eyebrows knitting together. “Pulling your card out of a deck get you hot under the collar? I could work with that.” 
“You’re not gonna be working with anything but medical supplies,” Bucky says, moving closer as he hands him gauze. “Here.” 
“Uh-uh, you’re gonna have to get closer than that,” Tony says. 
“...do you even want me to?” 
“Do you think I can reach the center in between my shoulder blades?” 
“...fair point.” 
Tony’s skin isn’t smooth. Bucky supposes he should’ve expected that. Working with metal almost all his life, he’d have scars and reminders of that. 
It’s odd. 
Terrifying. 
“I know you’re not gonna kill me,” Tony says. “And I’d rather not bleed out on the garage floor. It’s kind of depressing.” 
“Then I’ll bring something to lighten the mood next time,” Bucky says sarcastically. “Maybe a pillow? A candle?” 
“Oh fuck off and finish the gauze,” Tony snaps back. 
-
It’s...odd. The dynamics of it. They’re both absolute assholes who would rather die than admit they need help, except in the case of each other. 
This eventually navigates itself into other aspects of their lives. Tony lectures Bucky on his “only snack food” habit while cooking him dinner and finishing off the last of the carrots and hummus, while Bucky argues about how he never cares for himself while shoving at least four water bottles towards him. 
“This is the most aggressive dating ritual I’ve ever seen,” Nat whispers to Thor. 
“We are not dating!” Tony says. “We are...” His eyes widen as he turns to Bucky. 
“Are we...?” 
“Um, yeah? I guess?” 
Bruce groans from across the room. 
“Ladies and gentlemen, why would you have any doubts about who protects this world?” 
Bucky hauls Tony out of the room, ranting about something having to do with “boyfriend duties and the proper hydration obligation.” 
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