this is literally the zoo to me

these are strange and exotic wild animals

woims 🪱🪱🪱

woims!!!! they pay me in woims!!

they pay me in Woims 🪱

I don't think there should be trade secrets. I think u should. have to tell me ✨️

in general I agree with the sentiment that going above and beyond at work is a fool's errand and will never be appreciated or rewarded, and you should refuse any tasks outside your job description, or that line will just keep being pushed further and further. For the majority of jobs and situations I think this applies.

HOWEVER !!

It is a fun little treat to have extra-curricular activities at work. like ohhhh no I can't do my Job u hired me for rn remember I'm doing this special favor for u 🖤✨️ and then u become The Guy that does that.

I am like the village street urchin boy who happened to take a liking to the critters out in the farmer's pasture. I'll be toiling away at my little tasks and a coworker is like you! you there boy! one of your hogs is taken sick again. and I'm like. oh no ! my hogs. and I scurry out to the field and tend to my little beasts of burden and I don't know all that much and I've got a lot to learn but I care for them hogs more than any of the farmhands like they was my kin and I'm just sitting out there in the dirt going lalalala wheeee with my precious beasts and once in a while the farmer gives me a stoic nod of approval

this is literally Some Manner of Beast

that's literally her bones and guts and stuff ^ I give her baths and replenish her Lily White blood from a little oil bottle.

I replaced her tension assembly in a clumsy, experimental surgery. She is feeling much better now.

coworkers had the doors locked today cause there was some type of Crime situation earlier that morning down the street but another coworker was supposed to stop by with her dog so when I heard a knock at the door I was like yaaay lalalalala but it was NOT a doggy it was a yucky CUSTOMER and it was such a flurry of emotions. person. stranger notdog. grownup at the door have to look Normal and Customer Service Voice I have never had to interact with Customer here why are you here we are not even OPEN and I have to listen politely as she tells me abt something she bought 3 years ago that needs repaired going all "ohh yep hah I see" pretending to know fuck about shit like "just a moment, I'll be right back with someone who can help you : ) " and scuttling to thebasement like 👁👁 help. The Killer is here and I walked right. into her Trap I have doomed us all

old men have gottttttt to start blogging compulsively about their hobbies again PLEASE I know there's some freako out there somewhere who knows how to adjust the tension on the Chandler Tackmaster's threadlock assembly pleeeeeeaaaase I just need the plunger to push forward another MILLIMETER so my baby can finish the tack cycle pleeeease I know you're out there

we as a society have GOT to bring back old-school forums. old men aren't going on reddit to tell me how to troubleshoot incredibly specific problems with my vintage industrial sewing machine. it's a hostile ecosystem to them. it's throwing off the natural balance of sustaining obsolete and endangered trades

I was at work yesterday when the Very Loud Test Alert phone thing happened and amidst the cacophony my boss was like "they didn't even do this for 9/11"

like. hello

every day I drag myself to the workplace and I root around to find another pumpkin full of meat rolling around my enclosure, in the form of strange industrial sewing artifacts. the other day at work I discovered this bizarre contraption

Kirsch is a company that still works with drapery and hardware today, but apparently the name has been around since the 1900s. I've been struggling to find much info about their other vintage tools and hardware. Their website is all sleek and modern like 'ohh look how classy you could be with our patented automatic traversal rods' etc.

well you can't hide this from me. I feel like a fucking archeologist. Like this is an animal to me. in the way that a radio tower is an animal do you know what I'm fucking talking about.

There really are some specific ass machines in this world. This is a tool to measure and mark pleats for drapery. If you've ever sewn something with pleats, you know it can be really finicky even if you got your math right.

This thing is insane. You lay out the drapery panel and hold it under the clamps. In between, there are a bunch of moving carriages, with numbered marks that correspond to a code chart. They're connected by a spring, so they automatically shift to be evenly distributed. It is SO cool to see it work. The carriages can lock in place to account for different numbers of pleats, or even to reposition for hiding seams.

This is starting to sound like an advertisement, but good luck tracking one down even if you want one. We haven't been able to find any mention of this online, except that the manual is in the library of congress.

It's just such a fascinating tool- I've never seen something quite like it. The handwritten note on the cover, dated 1996, seems to indicate that Kirsch stopped servicing it some time in the 20 years since it's production. My best guess is that by then they were shifting their focus more to consumers and installers than manufacturers who essentially would be competing with them. But I don't claim to be all that knowledgeable about the industry's history.

I have to wonder how many of these still exist, let alone see any use.

while you were partying, I was studying the Holy Word 😌 (<- Idly flipping through the user manual charts for the obsolete 1976 Kirsch Exacto™️ Pleat Marker)

the sacred texts ☝️